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مسلسل Bob's Burgers مترجم - Episode 7
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00:21I'm back!
00:22What's all this?
00:23We're renting out rooms in our apartment for the long weekend.
00:26We're going to be a bed and breakfast!
00:28It's so exciting!
00:30I love bed and breakfast.
00:31They're so quaint.
00:32Aren't they?
00:33Random strangers shedding skin cells all over the house?
00:37Ugh, well, I'm against this bed and breakfast as much as you can be against something and
00:41still let it happen.
00:43Like when my ex-wife wanted to have a three-way with our neighbor Ray.
00:45Teddy, Teddy, I don't think you should be talking about...
00:48Wait, you had a three-way with Ray, the guy who wears the seal suit down on the pier?
00:52Yeah.
00:53I mean, I wasn't involved.
00:54I just watched, but...
00:55Yeah.
00:55I had a three-way in science class yesterday.
00:58Tammy's lab partner was absent, so she joined in with me and Joey.
01:01It was fun.
01:02Okay, enough.
01:04Doilies, selfies, extra expensive toilet paper.
01:08I love that soft stuff.
01:09I thought we were doing this to make extra money.
01:11Isn't all this eating into our profits?
01:13Don't worry, Bob.
01:14It's going to be money and online reviews, and when I die and I get to heaven, God's going
01:18to say, hey, aren't you the lady that ran that B&B I heard about?
01:22I'm going to say, yes, God.
01:24What can I get you?
01:25Here, hold this.
01:29Mm, smell.
01:31Mm, smell it.
01:32Well, you're shoving things in my nose.
01:34Smell this one, though.
01:36You always do this, Lynn.
01:37Whenever you entertain, you put way too much effort into it and drive yourself crazy.
01:41What are you talking about?
01:42I'm a wonderful hostess.
01:44No, Linda.
01:45You go overboard, and then if people aren't appreciative enough, you snap.
01:49That's not true!
01:50I'm a gifted hostess, and I'm ready to go pro.
01:53It is really soft.
01:54Put it back on the roll, please.
01:56Or, Mom, what if we just put Tina by the toilet?
01:58Yeah!
01:59I don't mind.
02:02Almost check-in time!
02:05Tina, Gene, are your room's guest ready?
02:08Yes.
02:08Subjective.
02:09Ha-ha!
02:10Remember when you made fun of me for moving into a closet?
02:12Well, now you suckers have to give up your room, and I don't.
02:16Ooh, a guest!
02:19Javi is a entomologist.
02:22Javate.
02:23What?
02:23My name is Javate.
02:24All right.
02:25What kind of doctor is an entomologist again?
02:28Glands?
02:29Butt?
02:30I'm not a butt doctor.
02:32I study insects.
02:33Specifically, the mating habits of myofungal beetles.
02:36Oh.
02:37So what brings you here?
02:38Myofungal beetles feed on fungus, and this town has a very, very high potency of fungus.
02:44That's actually our town motto.
02:46Fungustown!
02:47Tina, why don't you show Javed his room?
02:50His room.
02:50Javed.
02:51Javed.
02:52You'll be in the equestrian suite, huh?
02:55Okay.
02:56That's great.
02:57He brought a bug in a jar into our house.
03:00Don't be racist.
03:01I decorated it myself.
03:03You like horses a lot.
03:07You like jars.
03:08Oh, these are specimen jars.
03:10I intend to make the queen with a male and preserve her eggs.
03:12You mean you're going to watch beetles have sex with each other?
03:15Mm-hmm.
03:16Cool.
03:17What's that for?
03:18Ooh, this is a synthetic pheromone.
03:20It's similar to what the queen emits when she wants to attract males.
03:24Does it work on human, boys?
03:25Oh, no.
03:26Well, maybe.
03:29Uh.
03:31May I store these in the bathroom?
03:33Sure.
03:33Everyone would love that.
03:35More guests!
03:37Welcome!
03:39You must be at a Nora Samuels.
03:42Yes.
03:42Hello?
03:43Come on, come on.
03:43I'll give you the tour.
03:44Okay, this is the salon.
03:46This is where we're going to have the meet and greet.
03:47You're just in time.
03:49Actually, we'd just like to go to our room if that's okay?
03:51We'd just like to get settled.
03:53What?
03:54Why?
03:55Stay here for the meet and greet.
03:56Maybe we'll come back out in a bit.
03:58No, stay.
03:59It's going to be fun.
04:01Tina, get your feet.
04:02I think he's napping.
04:03Wake him up!
04:05So, let's go around and we'll, um, we'll play a little game.
04:09Let's say what our most embarrassing moment was.
04:12Who wants to go?
04:15I'll go.
04:16One time, I coughed at communion and the wafer flew right out of my mouth and it landed on my
04:21boob.
04:22Who wants to go next?
04:24Jarvan?
04:25I'll take a pass.
04:26Get me on the next one.
04:28What about when Dad got a perm?
04:29It wasn't a perm.
04:31It was a body wave.
04:32You look like Barbra Streisand in the main event.
04:34You looked like Barbra Streisand's pubes.
04:36I did.
04:37How about how Dad says gracias at Mexican restaurants?
04:40That's embarrassing.
04:41Remember the time you asked me to check your prostate and you made a popey?
04:44Linda!
04:45Oh, remember when Dad tried to go jogging?
04:50Oh, come on!
04:52What about when Dad cried at the end of About Schmidt?
04:54Jean, why are you in your underwear?
04:56I was eating.
04:56What?
04:57You want me to get butter all over my clothes?
04:59Yeah, now we just take him out back and holds him off.
05:02You're a doctor.
05:03Is this a mole?
05:04I'm not a doctor and that's a raisin.
05:06Oh, edible mole.
05:09All right, let's let someone else go.
05:11Samuels, how about you?
05:13What's your most embarrassing moment?
05:15I don't know.
05:16This?
05:17Yeah, definitely this.
05:19Hmm.
05:21Are we done?
05:22Yes, I guess we are done, Nora.
05:24Are you sure there aren't any rooms available anywhere else?
05:27No, everything's booked.
05:28I checked.
05:29Oh, hello.
05:30I'm cold.
05:31My nipples are so pointy.
05:34Ding dong, it's for you.
05:36Mm-mm.
05:36Mm-mm.
05:37Mm-mm.
05:38Mm-mm.
05:38It might be a package.
05:39You should answer it.
05:50Len, stop stewing and go to sleep.
05:52I can't help it, Bob.
05:53Our guests are such party poopers.
05:55All of them.
05:56No one has any B&B spirit at all.
05:59Okay, just go to sleep, all right?
06:01You'll feel better in the morning.
06:03Fine.
06:04Gene.
06:05Gene, your foot is down the back of my underwear.
06:08It's warm down there.
06:09My feet are cold.
06:10Yes, but it's my ass.
06:12Mm.
06:12Dad, are you still awake?
06:14Yes, Tina, I was just talking to Gene, right?
06:16A second ago?
06:17Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?
06:20Oh, my God.
06:21I don't know.
06:22Tina, go to sleep.
06:23Dad, do you want any chicken?
06:24Don't tell anyone.
06:25There's just enough for the two of us.
06:27Just go to sleep, all of you.
06:28I'm glad our guests are comfortable, Linda,
06:30because this is great.
06:31Oh, our guests.
06:32They'll appreciate me.
06:34I'll just have to try harder next time.
06:37Hey!
06:39I've got a backup.
06:41I've never been so happy to be at work.
06:43Yeah, you open early today, huh, Bob?
06:45Well, there was a line to get into the bathroom up in the apartment,
06:47so I came down here to do my morning routine in the slop sink.
06:50Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
06:54Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm,
06:57mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
06:57Woo!
06:59Woo!
07:00Bob, do we have any toothpicks down here?
07:03Yeah, over there.
07:04Pretty ones?
07:05What do you mean pretty ones, Lynn?
07:06The nice ones.
07:07How's the B&B going, Linda?
07:09Oh, it's great!
07:10Why?
07:11What'd you hear?
07:11What?
07:12Nothing.
07:12I bet it's magical up there.
07:14I picture it like England.
07:15It is, Teddy, it is!
07:17But do they appreciate it?
07:18Hold up in their rooms like dirty little gophers?
07:21Why come to a B&B if you're not going to participate, you know?
07:23Oh, this is so ungrateful!
07:24I wish I was staying at your B&B.
07:26Uh, I'd sit in a parlor, and maybe I'd have a little wine, play some board games.
07:31Yes, wine, games!
07:33Teddy, you should stay here.
07:35What?
07:36You should!
07:37You're the dream guest.
07:38You're the one I'm looking for.
07:39Do you have any vacancies?
07:40Yes!
07:41Louise's room!
07:42Whoa, whoa, whoa, Linda, Louise's room should murder us.
07:45She's a big girl.
07:46She'll get over it.
07:47Linda, she won't get over it.
07:49When you vacuum in there, she wouldn't talk to you for a week.
07:51Plus, it's not even a room.
07:52It's like a closet.
07:53That sounds perfect for me.
07:54I don't need a lot of room.
07:55I'll just bring, like, one outfit.
07:57Oh, I love it!
07:58I'll get my stuff.
07:58This is gonna be great.
08:00Well, have fun telling Louise you're kicking her out of her room, Lynn.
08:02Wear a helmet.
08:08What are you doing?
08:09Oh, hi, Louise.
08:10Oh, hi, Mom.
08:11Hello.
08:12You're holding my stuff.
08:13Hello, my little lady.
08:14Hello, Mom.
08:15What are you doing with my stuff?
08:17I was just welcoming our newest bed and breakfast guest into your room.
08:22Into my room?
08:23Say hello to Teddy.
08:26Hi, Louise.
08:27You got wonderful stuff in here.
08:29I love, love, love it.
08:30What?
08:30Except for this little guy.
08:31He's kind of giving me the creeps.
08:33This isn't happening.
08:34Mother, this isn't happening, right?
08:36Has the world gone crazy?
08:39Okay.
08:40Come on, Louise.
08:41Let's leave our guests alone.
08:43You mean your guests.
08:44Because I did not invite Teddy to come into my room and move my stuff around.
08:48That's right.
08:49Come on.
08:50See you in a little bit of the wine and cheese mixer, Teddy.
08:53Sounds good, Linda.
08:54And I'll see you in hell, Teddy.
08:56I'm sorry, Teddy.
08:57I will see you in hell.
09:00Where are the Samuels?
09:02The cheese is getting sweaty.
09:03They're in their room.
09:04I think they're jumping on the bed.
09:06I heard the box spray going crazy.
09:08Sounds like they're busy.
09:09They should be busy eating cheese and sipping wine.
09:12What do you mean they're busy?
09:13Like they got homework?
09:14No, they're...
09:16It's...
09:16Busy jumping?
09:17They can't take a jumping break?
09:19Aw, Jave!
09:21You came back for the wine and cheese.
09:23You gotta catch up.
09:25Chuck!
09:25Chuck!
09:26Chuck!
09:26Whoa, look at all those males.
09:28Yes, Tina.
09:29One of these lucky bugs will mate with the queen, and then she will bite off his head.
09:33So romantic.
09:35Cheese?
09:36No, thank you.
09:37Eat it.
09:38Mm-mm.
09:38Aw, have some.
09:39Mm-mm.
09:39Open your mouth.
09:40Open the mouth.
09:41Just try it.
09:42You're gonna love it.
09:43You're gonna love it.
09:44It's really good.
09:45Gene, you're over your limit.
09:47Well, I hate to miss wine and cheese, but it's time for these little fellas to meet their mates.
09:54Bye-bye.
09:55Wait, I wanna watch.
09:56Well, I'll tell you, Linda.
09:57I'm having the time of my life.
09:59You're not gonna hear me whining about it.
10:01Hey, wine.
10:05Everyone should be here for this.
10:06They don't know what they're missing.
10:10I heard the joke from the hallway.
10:13You like that?
10:14Yeah.
10:14Oh, it was really funny.
10:19Get out of my room.
10:20I'm here guest in your room.
10:22Did you talk to your mommy?
10:23It's not my mommy's room.
10:24It's my room.
10:25No, I know.
10:26And I paid $75, and I'm just going to stay in your room for a couple of nights.
10:30Hey, Louise, put some cheese in your mouth.
10:32Mmm.
10:33Mmm, that's delicious.
10:34Yeah, it really goes down easy, doesn't it, Teddy?
10:38Ow.
10:39Just so you know, Teddy, you have one hour, then I get real.
10:44If I were a pheromone, where would I be?
11:05Good night, Chavi.
11:09No.
11:09Uh, good night.
11:12Crazy lady.
11:13She's a nut.
11:14Am I right?
11:15Oh, you're bad.
11:19Good night, Teddy.
11:21Good night, Linda.
11:22Sleep tight.
11:23Sleep tight, Lynn.
11:24Don't let the bed bugs bite.
11:26I won't.
11:27Hey, my pillow smells funny.
11:29Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
11:32Good night, Samuels.
11:34Oh, woo!
11:35Oh, my God!
11:36Oh, God.
11:37Could you please close the door?
11:38Yeah, oh, my God.
11:39Sorry.
11:40No, with you on the other side of it.
11:41Okay, all right, all right.
11:43Please!
11:44Why is Mr. Samuels wearing handcuffs?
11:46They are...
11:47They are escape artists.
11:49They are?
11:50Yes!
11:51Isn't that interesting?
11:52Okay, time for bed.
11:53Let's go.
11:54All right, Louise.
11:55Since you're new here, I'll show you the ropes.
11:57That corner of the bed is for eating.
11:59And this right here is the exercise area.
12:01This is where I thrash.
12:04Yeah, I'll stand.
12:05Thank you very much.
12:15Here we go.
12:19Have you talked to your mommy?
12:22Why don't you talk to your mommy, Teddy, about your new roommates?
12:34Where is everybody?
12:36Careful, Bob.
12:37I reused the cheese from yesterday.
12:38Some of the omelets have toothpicks in them.
12:40Oh.
12:40Oh.
12:41Oh.
12:42Oh, good morning, Yavi.
12:44I hope you and your bugs are hungry.
12:46My appetite is gone, along with several of my specimen jars.
12:49They contain my most virile males.
12:51Oh, no.
12:52Ah, little insects with wings.
12:54How far could they go?
12:55Hey, guys.
12:59What?
12:59Do I have bed head?
13:00Oh, good God, Teddy.
13:02My beetles.
13:03Ah.
13:04What?
13:04Teddy, you've got beetles all over your face.
13:07Is that right?
13:08I haven't looked in the mirror yet.
13:09These males are in an extremely amorous state.
13:11You mean right now they're trying to mate with Teddy's face?
13:14Yes.
13:15Aw.
13:15Oh, God, Ted.
13:16Does it hurt?
13:17Nope, nope.
13:18Don't worry about it.
13:19Teddy, you should probably get to the hospital.
13:21You okay to drive?
13:22No, I don't need a hospital.
13:24I'll be fine.
13:24This is still a magical weekend.
13:26Aw.
13:26You know?
13:27It's a perfect guest.
13:28What's for breakfast?
13:29Eggs!
13:31Nothing gets to this guy.
13:32You!
13:33I don't know how, but you did this.
13:35I know how she did it.
13:37She used my pheromones on him.
13:39Okay, well, Linda, everyone have fun in the B&B.
13:42I'll be downstairs in the restaurant.
13:43Bye.
13:43Bye, Dad.
13:44No, you deal with her.
13:46She's out of control.
13:47Okay, uh, give her her room back.
13:49No.
13:50Well, that's all I got.
13:51Bye.
13:53Louise, you're grounded.
13:55Go to your room.
13:56Gladly.
13:57That's all I ever wanted.
13:58No, I mean my room.
14:00Go to my room.
14:01You can't make me.
14:02Oh, yes, I can, Miss Missy.
14:06I guess you can.
14:08I've never seen these beetles so aroused.
14:10I have that effect on beetles.
14:12I haven't had this much action in a while.
14:14Are they going to call me tomorrow?
14:16Probably not, right?
14:17That's okay.
14:18Teddy, making jokes covered with bugs?
14:20You are a man.
14:22Damn you.
14:23Does anything get to you?
14:24There's really only one thing.
14:26Yeah?
14:27Costume characters.
14:28You know, like the ones at amusement parks.
14:30Really?
14:31Why?
14:32It's the eyes, Gene.
14:33They're cold, dead eyes watching you while they make love to your wife.
14:37While they what?
14:38I mean, when they, uh, go to birthday parties.
14:42All right.
14:43Thank you, Teddy.
14:44Oh, thank you, Mom's purse.
14:47Well, thank you, phone.
14:48Yes, I will make a call.
14:51Oh, I gotcha.
14:53Oh, you're sizzling.
14:55I love your sounds.
14:56Oh, hello.
14:57You have costume characters, right?
14:59Oh, that's great.
15:01Uh, I'll take the hippo.
15:02There's a crow box.
15:04There's a baby hair.
15:05There's a cookie.
15:07Brought you some cookies.
15:09What's going on here?
15:11Uh, we have to go home.
15:12What are you talking about?
15:14You can't leave.
15:15You're on vacation.
15:16Sit down, enjoy the cookies.
15:18Unpack your pointy bra and your whip and whip him.
15:22He's a naughty boy.
15:24I'm a naughty boy.
15:25Get to it.
15:26Did you just lock the door?
15:28She just locked the door.
15:29I don't know what's going on.
15:30You can come out when it's time for the ice cream social.
15:33You too.
15:35Hey, there's my perfect guest.
15:38I got good news.
15:39I'm upgrading you to...
15:42Platinum status.
15:44Oh, platinum status.
15:46That sounds fancy.
15:48What do I need?
15:48It is.
15:49You hungry?
15:50You want some room service?
15:51No.
15:52Uh, I just fucking eat.
15:54What do you want?
15:55Uh, bacon burger.
15:57What?
15:57Bacon burger.
15:59First word.
16:00Bacon.
16:00One syllable.
16:01No, two syllables.
16:02Two syllables.
16:03Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:05Pig.
16:06Dinosaur.
16:07Bacon.
16:07Bacon burger.
16:08Kevin bacon.
16:09Second word.
16:10Burger.
16:11Break pads?
16:13Dinosaur.
16:13Jurassic Park.
16:15Charades.
16:16You can't guess charades.
16:17Yes, you can.
16:18Oh, is this charades?
16:19Cow.
16:20Burger.
16:21Bacon burger.
16:22All right, yes, bacon burger.
16:24All right, I can do that.
16:26Ah, doorbell.
16:27I'll get it.
16:29Oh, footloose.
16:30Can I, can I help you?
16:32Is there a teddy here?
16:34Teddy, you've got visitors.
16:37Where the fuzzy buddies are you, Teddy?
16:42What's going on here?
16:48Someone's excited to see the fuzzy buddies.
16:53Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
16:54Oh, you're a big bull.
17:01Oh, my God.
17:03Teddy.
17:10It's almost the ice cream social.
17:13Linda, what is going on up here?
17:15You're losing control of your B&B.
17:16What are you talking about?
17:18Everything is going perfectly.
17:20Right, right, Lynn.
17:21Everything's fine.
17:22Bob, do you have my bacon burger?
17:24Oh, yeah, the bacon burger, here.
17:27Bob, can you help me?
17:29I can't chew.
17:30You need me to feed you?
17:31Uh.
17:33Chew it up for him like a mama bird.
17:35Linda, no.
17:35He's platinum status.
17:37You're crazy, Linda.
17:38It's all right, guys.
17:39I got it.
17:40Perfect guest.
17:44So, let me get this straight.
17:46Teddy beat up a bunch of giant animals.
17:48You locked Louise in our room.
17:50And then you locked the guests in their rooms?
17:52They were going to leave before the big ice cream social at 3 o'clock.
17:56Lynn, just give me the key, all right?
17:58I'm going to let them out.
17:59No.
17:59Yes.
18:00No.
18:00Look at yourself.
18:01Look at what you've turned into.
18:04Oh, all right.
18:05All I wanted was a charming bed and breakfast.
18:08That's all.
18:09Now what am I going to say to God when I go to heaven?
18:14Oh, I lost the key.
18:16Oh, my God.
18:18What have I done?
18:19All right, all right.
18:20Listen, you know, Louise picks locks.
18:23Louise hates me.
18:24No, she doesn't hate you, Lynn.
18:26I'm sure she's broken out of our room already.
18:29Oh.
18:32I'm going to go deal with Teddy.
18:33Why don't you try her room?
18:35Okay.
18:38Hi, honey.
18:39It's Mommy.
18:41Oh, hello, Mother.
18:42Please do come in.
18:44Louise, I'm sorry I rented your room to Teddy and then locked you in our bedroom.
18:48I accept your apology, Mom.
18:50Who among us hasn't gone a little overboard from time to time?
18:54Aw, thanks, sweetie.
18:56And you're going to apologize to Teddy.
18:58Okay.
18:59And there's something else I need from you.
19:02I would just cut it up right now.
19:04Oh, no, not that.
19:06Will you please help me get Javid and the Samuels out of their rooms?
19:10I locked them in and I kind of lost the key.
19:13There might be something I can do.
19:18Javid, I'm sorry I locked you in your room.
19:21You're free to go if you wish.
19:22You locked me in my room?
19:24No.
19:25She's completely bonkers, isn't she?
19:27Look at me when I'm talking to you.
19:32They're gone.
19:33How did they get out of a locked room?
19:35It was their greatest escape.
19:40Look what they left behind.
19:41Look, my tongue is trapped.
19:43Now it's escaped.
19:44Now it's trapped.
19:45Now it's escaped.
19:46Hey, look.
19:46They're still climbing down.
19:48You two all right?
19:50You need any help with your beds?
19:51No, actually, we're stuck.
19:53Please help us.
19:54I suppose we could get a ladder.
19:56How much did you like my B&B?
19:58A lot.
19:59Are you going to recommend us to your friends?
20:01Yes.
20:02Are you going to leave me your email address?
20:04Yes.
20:05Get him the ladder.
20:07Thanks for coming.
20:08Sorry.
20:09Sorry again.
20:10Here's something for your trouble.
20:12Two dollars.
20:13Thanks a lot.
20:13I don't know what to tip in this situation.
20:15Yeah, not two dollars.
20:17Oh, hey, Teddy.
20:18You all right?
20:19I think I've worked through my issues, Bob.
20:21Me and the owl are going to go get a drink.
20:23I'm pretty sure there's a woman inside.
20:25That's a guy, Teddy.
20:26Oh, that's a woman.
20:27The owl was a guy.
20:28That's a woman.
20:29The fox was a girl.
20:30Oh.
20:31Did the fox leave already?
20:32Yes.
20:33Brenda, you are a delightful holster.
20:36Aw, thanks, Teddy.
20:38See you at lunch, Bob.
20:40Well, that was all right.
20:42It was pretty good.
20:43I give us a B.
20:44B plus.
20:46A B and B plus.
20:47My face is sweaty.
20:49Gene, take that off.
20:51Never!
20:51Oh!
20:53Oh!
20:58Oh!
21:07Oh!
21:07Oh!
21:07Oh!
21:07Oh!
21:07Oh!
21:08Oh!
21:08Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:09Oh!
21:10Oh!
21:11Oh!
21:12Oh!
21:13Oh!
21:15Oh!
21:17Oh!
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