00:00okay so welcome back to the morning roaster podcast out here in new york city this is the
00:06place where we make your mornings matter the most uh and i'm just uh grateful man grateful that you
00:11guys tuned back in grateful that you guys have liked shared and subscribed to our uh our channel
00:18here on youtube and on daily motion i really do appreciate all the love i really do appreciate
00:24all the support now today we're gonna have a good episode uh for you now you know me uh you
00:31know i
00:32always give you three talk points here and these three talk points is just to kind of help with the
00:35time but it's also to give you clarity on the direction and the trajectory of our conversation
00:40in this episode but i want you guys to lock in just for the next 15 minutes and you know
00:46and what
00:47we're going to be talking about is it's kind of it's well i'm not going to say kind of it
00:50is extremely
00:51uh hard to do if you are not focused so like i said uh welcome to the morning roaster podcast
00:58this place will make your mornings matter the most we'll come in live from new york city
01:02i'm going to give you three talk points so talk point number one well first off let's let's let's
01:07let's talk about the title the title is the art of responding not reacting the art of responding
01:13not reacting so number one is i create a space between what happens and how i respond now this is
01:19the hardest thing to do because as soon as something happens if you don't have emotional
01:23intelligence if you don't have some form of stoicism you know uh uh that you've studied or and that you
01:29uh let's say uh put into action and to get that experience on how to deal with difficult people or
01:36if you just if you've never been a person that's in customer service you know customer service i believe
01:41a lot of emotional intelligence comes with a uh customer service representative or just coming with a
01:47uh yeah just especially uh just any any position that has to do with clients so any position that
01:55has to do with clients in any form shape or form where you are a client representative you are a
02:01uh
02:02you're there dealing with a crm of a job or anything else has to do with customer service you do
02:08have to
02:08have some type of level of emotional intelligence but i create a space between what happens and how i respond
02:14and one way you can do that is i've learned that not everything deserves an immediate reaction and
02:18you need to practice that too now sometimes you can have an immediate reaction just from the simple
02:24fact that you just it's just hard not to it's hard not to respond to some of these situations that
02:29are
02:29intentionally uh orchestrated to make you lose your cool some situations are intentionally orchestrated
02:36have you ever been around someone that they intentionally want to irritate you just for the simple fact to
02:40get a reaction then they want to act like you're the person that's acting crazy or you're the person that's
02:44doing it there are people that run that intentionally lie on you there are people who monitor you this
02:49is to some some group uh specific groups when i say specific groups these are the ones that cannot be
02:56controlled like they they don't have to they don't stay in the same family dynamic they break out of
03:01certain patterns you have groups of people assigned to you to follow you to a certain point
03:05and uh to follow you to uh you know leave bad seeds and you wonder why you didn't get that
03:10job you
03:11know i i went to plenty of jobs on wall street i didn't get the job and i'm wondering like
03:15why didn't i get
03:16this job because someone came in behind me and just lied and said man you know that guy right there
03:20you know that's a lie you know that guy right there he's uh you know he's on uh trial he's
03:25on the watch list
03:26for this and that and i've seen him before and this and you know just completely completely
03:29lying just to to give me uh not allow me into that opportunity and that's what gang stalkers do
03:36but we're talking about uh you yourself uh what you need to create a space between what happens and how
03:43you respond now when something happens i pause instead of reacting emotionally in that moment
03:48and what i said is man this is one of the hardest things to do and we're just not tuning
03:52in we were
03:53talking about the art of responding not reacting in any situation especially when it comes to business
03:57or your regular life now this is like i said it is it's hard to control your emotions but you
04:04need
04:04to practice it sometimes you sometimes you need to walk into uh walk through a difficult situation so
04:10you can you can really practice on how to walk away and you can practice on how to be patient
04:14and how to
04:14become and how to react in a manner while still suppressing your emotions and and uh so that you can
04:20overcome those things but that small moment of space gives you clarity instead of chaos you also gain
04:25control of your life when you stop reacting instantly in everything around you so yeah to add to
04:30everything around you i'm sorry about that but yeah to everything around you sometimes you have
04:34to just let things happen man i've stayed in uh apartment buildings i've stayed in a homeless uh
04:39shelter i stayed in other and people when they see some i'm just i'm just helping you to understand
04:43that some people do not like for you to be at peace you can be having a peaceful day you
04:47can stay
04:47to yourself things like that people will intentionally target you because you are too peaceful
04:50and sometimes that is also a problem because they don't have peace so you know i mean so uh you
04:55do
04:56need to get to a point where you gain a level of emotional intelligence or a high caliber of emotional
05:01intelligence that you'll be able to walk through life and not let your circumstances or situations
05:05dictate your emotions this is one of the hardest things there is to do they call it emotional
05:09intelligence they call it you know uh exercise stoicism and other forms you know or just uh being uh uh
05:17or
05:18gaining this skill set just from being in customer service you ever been in customer service this is
05:22one way to gain that skill set as well dealing dealing with difficult people you don't you really
05:26don't have you all you do is give people information you don't have uh control over you know a person
05:31getting a payment or a person getting a refund you don't have that uh specific control you don't even
05:36have the specific control of them uh buying the product or shipping the product out uh or the one that
05:41probably built the system you know what i mean that malfunction to the point where they got the wrong
05:46product that has to do with the delivery driver but you will have to take all the heat from that
05:50as being in customer service all the anger comes so you have to develop some type of level of emotional
05:55intelligence number two i choose awareness over emotion in the moment i remind myself that emotions
06:01are real but they do not always need to lead my actions and you have to learn that too so
06:07emotions
06:07doesn't always need to lead your actions but there are some times where emotions do need to lead your
06:11actions when you feel when you uh and what i mean by them by emotions i mean your discernment so
06:17discernment i believe is a type of emotion as a type of awareness that we never really talking about
06:22talk about when you become aware from discernment that doesn't mean that you just uh put things off
06:27in the background and just be like oh everything is cool man you're gonna mask it over you can mask
06:32it over all you want to but the longer that you take to get rid of someone the longer that
06:35you take to
06:36uh disconnect from that relationship the longer that you take to uh you know uh really
06:43understand that when the mask slips and then just take a personal who they are when someone shows you
06:47who they are believe them you know what i'm saying there's a lot of manipulative people out there but
06:52there's going to be certain areas now i'm not talking about someone making a mistake and then they
06:56work towards fixing it and there's a difference you have to have discernment there's one person
07:00that honestly makes a mistake and then they're working towards fixing it because they love me
07:04that's another person that makes a mistake and they're working towards fixing it on learning how
07:08to get better at being a deceiver or being a manipulator so you have to know the difference
07:12you need discernment but i try to understand what i'm feeling before i decide to respond and this uh
07:17i just want to keep it real this doesn't always happen at that particular time sometimes you man you
07:23you it has to be not studied but it has to be exercised to everyday life i don't care if
07:30you go to the
07:30store you know someone's just uh especially young kids man you you have to analyze the situation
07:37and uh when you walk into it before you walk into a store you have to already prep your mind
07:43and say
07:43okay man there might be someone that's going slow in front of me with a basket they might not have
07:48the products i need there may be some type of you know uh something man that's going to happen
07:54you know what i mean that will be trying to uh prick and pry at my emotions and pry open
07:59my anger
08:00you know what i mean so what you have to do is and you have to already prep your mind
08:03before you
08:04enter into some of these situations especially when you have already experienced some of these
08:09situations multiple times so that's uh something that you can really look into but i asked myself
08:13my reaction will help or hurt the situation uh long term so a lot of people don't think long term
08:19people will get to a point where they may they may uh someone might irritate them push them
08:24to punch them in the face once they punch them in the face that person goes on uh goes on
08:28to the
08:29next person and but you're you're locked up in jail all over most of me said man okay man this
08:33guy
08:33he's doing is i'm walking away or something just needs to happen where you know it doesn't jeopardize
08:38my future of my life so those those are things that you need to be aware of but uh awareness
08:42does
08:42help uh how you respond uh with uh you know intention instead of regret so you had to do something
08:48then you regret it later so pay attention to that so number three i respond in a way that
08:54aligns with who i want to be so you we always talk about this and this is kind of a
08:59form or art of
09:00manifestation a form of art of manifestation you're pulling from that higher timeline into
09:05this timeline and saying that the millionaire me how would he respond or react in this specific
09:09situation the me that i see every day how will he respond or act in this situation so uh you
09:15have
09:15to respond in the way that aligns with who you want to be me myself personally i realize that you
09:21know every response reflects my character and yours does too so i try to operate and sometimes you know
09:27like i said he gets to a point where you say man i don't i don't you know i don't
09:31care what they're
09:31saying you know i mean but you may have to say this to yourself but i don't care what this
09:34person is
09:35saying man they're wrong and they knew they were wrong and they intentionally did this but once you
09:38know that about certain individuals learn to uh use a strategy on how to deal with individuals that are
09:45intentionally trying to irritate or frustrate you you need to make sure that okay i know this person i know
09:50what they're they're about i know what i'm up against start to develop a strategy on the way
09:55that you can maneuver in and out of these situations where it is not detrimental uh to you
10:01so i choose responses that match the person i'm trying to become not the emotion in the feeling of
10:06the moment so that's one thing you have to understand so not the emotion of the moment the
10:12motion of the moment can send you to prison for life i'm going to tell you that right now
10:15the emotion or the reaction in that current moment can send you to places or put you in situations
10:21man i actually had a a friend man uh that was a good friend of mine man being a firefighter
10:26he was
10:26a young guy man had you know a beautiful wife uh kids firefighter freshly married and she just made
10:32a mistake made a mistake made a mistake she threw threw something at him uh or no she she made
10:38a comment
10:38and he threw a table across the room didn't hit her wasn't close to her nothing no bruises and she
10:43called the police and they just called it uh uh it was it went from domestic to destruction of
10:48property even though it was his house he paid the mortgage uh you know he he bought the furniture
10:53but still in that very moment where uh he responded in such a way man he almost lost his career
11:00so just
11:01think about being uh having a great career you get into an altercation with your loved one uh you know
11:08you don't physically touch that person but you throw something across the room and by throwing
11:13something across the room you can you can almost lose your career so they dropped it from domestic
11:16to that but it's just in that moment where you know he responded in a way out of emotion because
11:23he was so frustrated you know and and you know you don't know if she initiated that frustration by
11:28you know wanting to go out being married or you know what i mean i'm not going to go into
11:32that
11:32wanting to go out you have kids you want to go out like you're 21 years old getting you're married
11:37you know what i mean that's the difference between going to like a business conference or something
11:41that you have to do that advances your career then you just want to go out and have fun uh
11:45with it
11:45with your single friends so when you respond instead of reacting you take control of growth
11:49peace and your relationships it's hard to maintain a relationship if you do not learn how to have
11:55emotional intelligence man every everyone is going to everyone is going to make some type of mistake
12:00that you're not going to agree with but you have to get to a point where you start to understand
12:04the other individual when you you're not getting into relationships unless you are willing to study
12:09and understand that person where you can learn how to be that specific type of friend to that
12:13individual everyone doesn't have the same love language and everyone doesn't have the same
12:18uh strategy when it comes to uh you know being friends rather than exchanging benefits
12:23exchanging benefits time and things like that it doesn't always happen the same way so
12:28uh don't get in a business partnership don't not get into a relationship or a friendship without
12:33really getting into it and really understand if you guys have the same core values
12:37or if it is a good fit you will hate to get into uh get into a and a lot
12:43of people do this get into
12:44some of these friendships and relationships with the idea of how they will benefit from the friendship
12:48but not with the idea on how you guys can benefit from each other's value and that is the wrong
12:54response
12:54and you will end up being disappointed in the end you know nothing really good comes from a person that
12:59uh
12:59strategically wants to get over with someone so man you guys tune back in here uh next saturday
13:05it's the same instant standard time this is the morning roasted podcast this place will make your
13:09mornings matter the most welcome alive from new york city as we usually do we'll see you back here next
13:13saturday peace
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