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00:01how are you guys doing welcome back to the morning roasted podcast this is your host
00:04caleb thompson we are coming live from new york city as we always do uh hope everyone's having a
00:10great morning out there today uh just give me one second here i'm trying to fix these headphones
00:16uh but uh hope everyone's morning okay there we go i hope everyone's morning is blessed i hope
00:23everyone's having a great day out there today uh this is the morning roasted podcast this is the
00:27place where make your mornings matter matter the most and we come live from new york city as i just
00:32stated uh i'm going to help you guys to understand a couple things about relationships today it's going
00:40to be real quick it's not going to be no i'm well let's see how it goes but this uh
00:45episode is called
00:46lessons from failed relationships so when i talk about lessons from failed relationships it doesn't
00:50necessarily just mean a failed relationship as in you know just dealing with a intimate partner or
00:56significant other it also has to do with uh failed relationships and families failed relationships
01:02that while with co-workers uh in your job uh different types of relationships and friendships
01:08that break down uh due to certain actions or certain patterns or choices caused by uh either party
01:15but today we're going to focus on you yourself we're going to focus on you holding yourself accountable
01:20we're not going to talk about anything else so i'm going to give you three talk points number one
01:25is reflect honestly on past relationships so if you want to really learn lessons from your
01:29uh failed relationships uh this is how i learned my lesson from my failed relationships i really took
01:35the time to reflect honestly on that relationship that failed uh i took the time to look back and
01:42understand what really went wrong without blaming other people i you know that's the worst thing you can
01:48do man i'm gonna help you to understand something before you blame somebody else for something
01:52trying to see or ask yourself like what patterns of choices you know did you contribute to the
01:58outcome of it not working now once you go through all the you know check all the boxes you go
02:04check
02:04all the boxes you're like okay well you know it's just nothing i could have changed about that it just
02:08it is what it is then you know what i mean then that's the point where you can say okay
02:14i'm not
02:14going to point the finger but i've checked the boxes you know what i mean honestly check the boxes to
02:19hold myself accountable and see what i can fix and what i what i could fix for future relationships
02:24and it's just you know it's just not adding up there's you know i've done everything i can do i
02:28can probably you know uh do a lot better in this area there's always going to be some area that
02:32you
02:32can do better in so do not don't get me wrong when it comes to that but um yeah ask
02:38yourself man
02:39what patterns of choices did you contribute to man stop trying to blame everyone for your problems you
02:43know it's a lot of people may act like man life is so bad you know i'm i'm you know
02:48so you know don't
02:50do that but uh uh by reflecting though you know what i mean gain clarity on what you uh truly
02:57uh want
02:58and need in a relationship so man this is just like when something something does fail what something does
03:04go wrong once something does fail it does go wrong then you know what you need to do you need
03:10to start
03:10taking time to figure out like while you're sitting there reflecting on what's going on and
03:14holding yourself accountable don't get me wrong man we cannot uh there's too many people that's
03:19emotionally uh immature and you know why they're mostly immature why their heart is so hardened and
03:24darkened or they can you know it's it's people out here that can just get in a relationship with
03:28anyone you know what i mean because you know it's just that they don't have those boundaries
03:32p they're just looking for someone to be with they're just looking for love so they don't have
03:36really those boundaries they don't really know what they want in a relationship they just
03:39really want someone they could probably you know chill with have sex with not nothing you know
03:44there's really no there's the attraction is just to have company and have someone to have company you
03:51know what i mean to make you feel like you're loved or you're not alone but it's not really a
03:57relationship built on uh how do we grow how do we get from where we are right now how do
04:03we set goals
04:03and how do we start working towards marriage a lot of times this is a living situation uh you know
04:09living situations uh sex company you know but there's no really no real plan on okay man we need
04:17to start you know how do we uh fix our credit uh so we can get a better car or
04:21how do we let's come
04:23up with a small company you ever thought about going into like vending machines or you know it's really
04:28no uh plan on uh dating to marry and to try to uh build now i'm not saying this is
04:35what everyone but
04:36what i'm saying is not everyone some some people don't have uh boundaries you know what i mean they
04:43don't have i'm gonna say boundaries well they don't really have a plan for the relationship uh
04:48relationships and then go from relationship to relationship they can uh it's easy for them to
04:52leave you know even if they invested time of staying there and chilling when it's easy for
04:57them to uh leave for the simple fact that they never really just had a solid plan that will uh
05:03that
05:04they're trying to trying to work out and work towards marriage so but by reflecting uh on the things that
05:09i've done to ruin certain relationships you know some things i've done by ruining certain relationships
05:13you know one thing that i've done by ruining a relationship is uh it sound like i heard just like
05:20uh
05:20uh it was basically uh not meeting people where they where they were so you know instead of meeting
05:28a person where they were you know i was really uh hyping the person up and helping them trying to
05:33help them to see that their full potential the potential i seen in a person and you cannot do that
05:38you know what i mean you gotta you have to understand that that person has a level of potential that
05:42you
05:42could see on seeing them but a lot of time that potential that you could see in someone else is
05:47just
05:47your potential that you are projecting on someone else and a lot of times uh when they don't have
05:53the belief that you that you have and they don't have the drive that you have a lot of times
05:58you'll
05:59see them projecting that onto you so every person is there is a mirror to another person so when when
06:05you have goals and dreams you are mirroring your you are you are a mirror and when someone looks at
06:12you they're either saying man you know man this guy you know it's a mirror to a person so if
06:16someone
06:17stands before me uh and they themselves are a human mirror to everything that in my life you know i
06:24don't have to compare myself to that person but they are walking mirror to be there are walking letter or
06:29walking testament uh to the things that they have accomplished and the things that they've went
06:34through and they were that proudly you know what i mean uh in the world as as a open scribe
06:40or
06:40open letter or open mirror to everyone that they come in contact with so you have to understand
06:45that so a lot of times you know things that i've done that i could have done better in a
06:49relationship
06:50is that man i just push people too hard i push people if you're around me you you're gonna grow
06:54you know and i know i don't mean forcefully grow but if you're around me it's either you're gonna hate
06:59me for making you want to grow or you know what i mean or you're gonna love me because you
07:04know
07:04for pushing you to reach your full potential that's the only two sides to the coin that you're gonna have
07:09when you come in contact with me i want to push you to grow i want to you know be
07:13there for you and
07:13if and i understand not everyone grows at the same pace but i'm willing to not put what i'm doing
07:19on
07:19the back burner but i'm willing to slow down my pace and really try to understand that okay this is
07:24where you are this is the capacity you have and walk with you uh as you start to grow i'm
07:30not looking
07:30for you i'm not looking for you to go from you know uh two to twenty overnight but i want
07:36i want to you
07:36i want you to go from two to three and in that three stage you gain enough knowledge where enough
07:43knowledge where you can skip from three and go to eight you know and because you're already you
07:46already feel with knowledge you're already soaking it up you're already you know starting to a lot of
07:5180 80 of it is a mindset you know you have what i would say i would say 90 of
07:56anything that you want
07:57to accomplish in this life it's mindset and then the other 10 is action but you know you can you
08:02can have
08:03someone that um that uh knows who they are and they can attract those things to them and someone
08:11else that's working for it and working for it and working for it you know and i'm not saying be
08:15lazy
08:16but you first have to have the mindset to understand what you deserve and then those things will be
08:20attracted to you so when you know who you are and know what you deserve it's easier for you to
08:25uh
08:25to accomplish things uh there's going to be some upsets it's not going to be a flawless victory but
08:32you know um but it takes time but that's one thing that i can truly say that no by reflecting
08:38you
08:38know i've gained clarity on what i truly uh want and want and need in a relationship after a failed
08:45relationship after having so many failed relationships uh and really you know and and
08:50and really understanding you know i have to sit down and understand what i truly want and really not
08:55compromise on that now i'm not saying you you want something that is you know that's uh so far out
09:01that you like man that's not even humanly impossible for you to meet someone like that but i want to
09:06help you to understand some there is somebody out there that uh meets your uh your moral your moral
09:13needs that meets the looks that meets you know what i mean the uh the heart posture you know what
09:19i mean
09:19you can't you can't find somebody that and you have to take what you can and let and build because
09:24you're gonna have to build together so you know what i mean it's certain things that you know what i
09:28mean
09:28my wife or you know my girl once we get in a relationship that she's looking to uh for me
09:33to
09:33be and then i'm just not that right now i might be an entrepreneur i might be a certain type
09:37of person
09:38but i still have to grow we have to uh align uh we have to align with god but we
09:43have to align uh to
09:45the point where you know my job is to please her her job is to please me without breaking our
09:51moral code
09:51or a spiritual spiritual law you know she wants a bag a bad guy she doesn't need to get she
09:56wants a
09:57guy that that's uh doing a certain thing and i'm not that person don't get don't get with me and
10:02try
10:02to change me into the guy you want me to be and and then you know same thing with her
10:06if i'm looking
10:07for a woman that's uh christian that's love loves god you know what i'm saying i'm not going to try
10:12to
10:12get with someone else and try to turn them into that person there's somebody that's already has the
10:16starter package and you guys can work through everything else yeah you might love god but you know what i
10:21mean
10:22you you may cuss i slip up and cuss sometimes but you may cuss like a sailor you know i
10:27mean but
10:27your heart posture is right and you still love god so a lot of things can be worked worked on
10:32and then
10:33it could be things that i do you know what i mean certain things i do i might leave my
10:36leave my shoes
10:36on the floor i might you know uh you know i hate to but do certain things you know and
10:42and then they
10:42you know those things it's you you live different when you live alone than when you live with someone
10:47else so you know you have to grow together and learn together so but that's one thing that i
10:51would uh you know i sit back and i wanted to really understand from those past relationships
10:55what you need so number two is i learn and grow from each experience so i'm i'm gonna tell you
11:02something do not get in a relationship do not get a job do not get in a friendship uh i
11:09don't care if
11:09it's uh two two guys kicking it together their homeboys been knowing each other since high school
11:14or or your homegirls just from work or whatever do not get into any business relationship do not get
11:20into any uh friendship with the co-worker do not get into now some don't do not get into these
11:26things
11:27uh without the understanding that you know i'm in this situation to to learn you know what i mean if
11:34you're around someone and and you're you're not learning from that person and that person is not
11:38learning from you like you know what i mean you are in a un uh unbeneficial relationship or friendship
11:44there needs to be there needs to be some piece of information that you guys can share with each
11:50other to help each other grow every day i don't care what it is you know what i mean i
11:53don't even
11:54care if you're sitting there chilling and smoking weed together or you're sitting there drinking
11:58together if you are in a friendship or relationship there needs to be a piece of positive information
12:04that you guys can pour into each other every day to help each other grow or you in the wrong
12:08relationship i don't want anyone or i don't want anyone around me until it gets to a point that
12:12they're jealous or you know what i mean or this and that and then they they you know they show
12:16the
12:16true colors you need to find out exactly who your friends are who you around from the time being
12:23you understand so so but i learn and grow from each experience every experience that i have in life i
12:29try to learn from it i don't care what it is i don't care what that experience is i try
12:33to learn from
12:34it i try to learn as much as i can learn from it i try to uh understand pattern recognition
12:38i try to
12:39understand you know where i went wrong i try to understand where i could tighten up in certain
12:44spots and then i try to understand as well that it's it's some situations some situations it doesn't
12:50matter what you do or what you don't do you know it's just it's just not going to work you
12:55know what
12:55i mean it's just it doesn't matter how much how much this person changed to try to show show you
12:59you
13:00love them you're just not in love with them it's no matter how much you would put forth the effort
13:04uh all the evidence is there that you know it's just not going to work so you know i want
13:09you to
13:09understand that not everything is going not everything is uh going to work so learn uh i
13:14learn and grow from each experience i identify the lessons each failed relationship taught me about
13:18love communication and boundaries uh so uh and then what i do is i use these lessons to make better
13:24choices and improve my relationships moving forward and that's something that we just talked about as
13:29well so talked about using each relationship using and i do i do this across the board i don't care
13:36if it's a job man i don't care if i use each experience as a way to uh better my
13:42life i don't
13:43care if it's just going for an interview man going for an interview or getting a filling out a job
13:48application even if i don't get the job or maybe i may be overqualified or maybe uh my uh past
13:54work
13:54experience doesn't align with what they're looking for but what i do is i always try to
14:00take it as a learning experience what could i have done uh more on my end to execute you know
14:06on this
14:06task or to make sure that i get the best result possible when it comes to a certain thing but
14:11if
14:11that does not happen you do have to understand that sometimes it doesn't matter what you do it is
14:17just not for you you know what i mean so you really want to understand that some things are just
14:21not
14:21for you no matter how hard you try how hard now i'm not talking about you uh you going after
14:28your
14:28dreams or something like that and then you're feeling like oh man it's just not working that's
14:32going to take time you are going to be tested by god to make sure that you know what i
14:35mean how bad do
14:36you want it there's some people man start a business you know and and or some people that get into
14:41a
14:41relationship the relationship really doesn't start flourishing until year three or year five business
14:46doesn't start flourishing until year three and three and year five well the simple fact that those first
14:51couple years you guys are uh learning learning uh setting a foundation for your future you're
14:56learning each other you're learning each other's pet peeves you're learning what to do and what not
15:00to do and once you get all those things down packed to the point where you start to finish each
15:03other's
15:04sentences then it'll be easier for the relationship to flow and you will move from that stage or that
15:08grade of of difficulty and um and uh you know and whatever whatever that stage of difficulty and that
15:18grade and caliber of difficulty to a new level to a new you will move up so with those problems
15:23that you've got
15:23first are you uh those uh minuscule problems where you won't say man keep get you get your shoes out
15:30of the
15:30floor all that stuff it should be gone by a certain year now you know that this person doesn't like
15:35a certain
15:35thing so now it's on you and and up to you to make sure that uh you respect this person
15:41enough to change that or you
15:43just don't care you know what i mean and then it's up to you after that but um but yeah
15:48i use these
15:48lessons to uh make better choices to improve my relationships moving forward
15:54i embrace uh growth uh knowing that uh each ending is an opportunity for uh personal development so
16:02man i want you to know some lessons from learning relationships and maybe just not tuning in this
16:06is the morning roster podcast this is your host kelly thompson we are talking about
16:09lessons from uh failed relationships that i i've i've personally experienced and how it could help
16:15you to uh move forward as well but um but like i said man i embrace growth knowing that each
16:22ending is
16:22opportunity for personal development man a lot of times man the the the most successful people have
16:29had the greatest fails in life and and they had more they had
16:37they had more fails in life than successes to a certain degree and why would you know why i said
16:42that i said that for the simple fact that
16:56yeah i said that for the simple fact that
17:00but a lot of times man you would go through failure and failure will teach you resilience
17:04uh failure will teach you how not to give up failure will teach you so many things that you
17:09will never learn by just getting it the first time you need to go through that trial and error in
17:13order
17:13to make sure that it shapes you to a point where you continue to move forward in purpose so you
17:18know
17:18it takes it takes failure man a lot of times when people go through failing a million times and they
17:23just get that one big win you know because that failure has prepared them for what they've been
17:27looking for and sometimes it takes failure so man you have to understand that man when you some of
17:32these relationships uh fail and sometimes it's just god removing that person it's a lot of things
17:37they have a mask that's on so tight and you would you know your emotions is in something that's clearly
17:43not healthy and god just has to go over and beyond and move this person or make them remove themselves
17:50so sometimes it does have a divine or spiritual uh influence uh to it depending on depending on the
17:57situation but number three i apply what i've learned to future connections so when once you
18:04start to go through uh a lot of these bad connections and uh things that uh you've learned
18:10from just like oh man you know i never want to go through that again or i never uh be
18:14with a person
18:15like that again or i never get into a business contract like that again the thing is this you
18:19need to learn from those things so you can consciously this is the thing consciously it's a lot of people
18:24out here man they are not conscious that mean that a low vibrational people is they all they what they
18:31do is they all they strategically find ways to put people back to sleep and uh and and back in
18:37the
18:37matrix so no they don't they and that's what you have to understand do not get with someone that wants
18:43to dumb your dreams down because they have no dreams don't don't get with someone that wants to dumb
18:47down uh you know or even just friends man don't have friends about you as soon as you get a
18:53win
18:53man they they make some comment they're just like uh yeah okay man uh he's you know i mean oh
18:59he missed
18:59the big shot and this and that man you know what i mean it's still a settle to celebrating your
19:03wins
19:03with you man just watch out for those slick comments man you don't want to be around people
19:07that's going to pull you down keep you keep you in the same place you know i mean so consciously
19:11choose partners man when i say consciously a lot of people are not conscious because they don't really
19:16reflect on uh ways because and i'm gonna tell you what if you are conscious you will you will
19:22probably go through more more tests and more things being conscious than not being conscious you know
19:27what i mean so i want you to understand someday and then uh choose uh consciously choose partners
19:36and friendships that align with your values and your goals so you know what i mean you know why a
19:42lot of
19:42times that i'm i'm um i'm alone or people say isolated but i like to be by myself you know
19:47why
19:47because there's not a lot of people that i run across that's uh that's uh in alignment with what
19:53i'm trying to do in life if anything they're going to distract me so i really i really for the
19:57sake
19:57until i get to where i need to need to go to or unless i i get a uh get
20:02in a relationship and they
20:04understand exactly what i'm trying to do and they're trying to help me to move the vision forward
20:08i don't really have time to be sitting around um that you have to have the same mindset the same
20:13morals the same values you have to understand uh goals and things like that i can't just you know
20:18i can't i just don't want to be with just anybody you know what i mean i can easily man
20:22uh i can
20:23easily go out here and do and and repeat the same cycles that i've healed from you know what i
20:28mean
20:29same same cycles i can walk i can walk in any room and and you know and you know it's
20:34not about that
20:35it's about where are you trying to i'm you know what's going to make you fail in life as a
20:39man
20:40the the worst thing that you can get as a man that will either make you or break you is
20:46the woman you
20:46choose to be with you got some bitter hating jealous woman that's you know what i mean that's you know
20:53that uh you know that's man she can break you man just think man you have to understand this if
20:59something if you're with if you're with someone and they're always gossiping and talking about
21:03someone else and judging someone else and they ain't got these stuff together why would you want
21:07to be with someone like that because i tell you what as soon as you make them mad as soon
21:11as you
21:11make a mistake best believe they calling somebody or as soon as they don't get their their way and
21:16then you leave or you just like man i can't deal with deal with this and you leave you know
21:20what
21:20they're going to do they're going to pick up the phone and they're going to make it seem like they're
21:23the victim i did everything i could do for this birthday this and that but they're you know they're not
21:28telling the other part so and you have to be real careful they'll start these smear campaigns but you
21:32have to be real careful and be conscious about how you choose your partners and your friendships
21:37and because man you can there's plenty of times i've gave people the shirt off my back i've been
21:41good to them taught them uh skill sets gave them money bought cars all this but as soon as you
21:47say
21:48no they act like you've never done anything for them as soon as you um make them make a mistake
21:54they're telling they're telling your business as soon as you tell them some information that uh you
21:59that's personal uh between you you and them then they wait till you uh you wait till y'all have
22:04a
22:04disagreement and then they go you know so you have to be very careful and then you don't tell everybody
22:09everything in the first place but you have to be very careful and start to choose people that's
22:14around you choose the circle wisely and consciously consciously means this to be conscious means this
22:19that you understand that you are the ceo of your own life you can't be a ceo of a company
22:24without
22:24being the ceo of your own life you can't be the boss of someone else if you don't know how
22:28to boss
22:29be the boss of your own life i don't have time to be trying to control someone else's life if
22:34i can't
22:35get up every morning do a simple routine if i can't get up every morning make sure that my house
22:39is the
22:39house is clean make sure that breakfast is just whatever routine you choose some people they work
22:44out some people but if i can't create me a routine or something that i can stick to every day
22:48and make sure that if i feel like it or don't feel like it i'm still going to get up
22:53and i'm going to
22:53execute if you can't do that for your own life you don't need to be sitting around trying to
22:57control somebody else's life you don't you understand what i'm saying so you need to
23:02consciously choose partners and friendships that align with your values and your goals you know
23:07what i mean so set boundaries uh that protect uh your emotional well-being while fostering healthy
23:12connections so man take time man every time you get a every time you get a good win man you
23:17can tell
23:18who you can really tell man who's who's for you or not for you man there's plenty of times
23:23man i had a i was with with a woman and she was telling me man i'm not going to
23:29put a name out
23:29there you know what i'm saying just say let's just say let's call her kelly okay so and i i
23:34wore suits
23:35you know what i mean i wear suits or a vest you know i mean that's just how i like
23:38to dress you know
23:39what i mean i i just dress business casual sometimes but you know every time like when we first got
23:46together she loved it you know and i was doing it for myself you know but she loved it but
23:50it got to a
23:51point where other people started to admire the way that i dress not people that knew me people that
23:56knew me they knew exactly you know who who i was to a certain degree people that were with around
24:05me
24:05they knew but when i went around her group of friends that started to admire the way that i
24:09carry myself so upon doing that it made her jealous and she started throwing these slick comments so you
24:17have to be careful with people throwing slick comments uh you you get a new pair of shoes you
24:21know i mean they're throwing a little slick hating comments you get a new shirt or a new fit
24:26your homeboy is saying oh man look at oh he done got the he done got the new shoes man
24:30he don't know
24:31how to act oh he done got a shirt cut man oh now he think he fresh like little stuff
24:35like that man
24:36you have to be careful with people sending those slick jokes at you because that's really hate
24:41so you have to because if a person will will slick hate on you when you get a small win
24:47or when you
24:47when you do something to make yourself feel good when you do something to make yourself feel better
24:51you get a nice haircut you go you know you get a nice pair of shoes you know and then
24:55if the people
24:56around you say oh man he i mean he think you know he think he look good he think oh
25:00he don't know how
25:01to act he got some new shoes like you have to be careful of those type of comments because if
25:05they can
25:06if they can joke and play about a haircut what about what about if god bless you with a you
25:11know
25:11what i mean a a new car or you get a new job high-paying job you know i mean
25:15they'll be ready
25:16to kill you the real hate is gonna come out so if they if they make slick comments over a
25:20haircut and
25:21over a new shirt or over you know what i mean over a little bit more money that you that
25:26you have and
25:27then you have to be careful because you know uh god is god is trying to show you they even
25:31get these
25:31people from around you because what if what if god god can't even bless you with what what he want
25:35to
25:35bless you with because the people you choose to be around they blessing blockers so you know i mean
25:39i've been in a relationship that i've been in a relationship that while i'm trying to move forward
25:44it's like every step that i move forward every brick that i lay she comes right behind me and she
25:49pulls the brick up so i'm thinking that man we're trying to get ahead and the whole time she's silently
25:54sabotaging me because she doesn't i'm i'm building for us and she's she's and she's coming to
26:01sabotaging everything i'm trying to build a benefit uh i didn't have any kids at the time
26:05benefit uh her and her kids you know what i mean so she's so jealous that she doesn't she don't
26:11even
26:11care about it benefiting her kids she just care about people not seeing me as a good person and
26:16people not seeing me as a boss the person and the leader that i that i am she's jealous of
26:21that
26:21but the whole time every time i'm coming with a uh plan i'm always including her and her kids i'm
26:28saying man you know what this is what we're gonna do and this is how we're gonna be able to
26:31you know
26:31what i mean get a bigger place you know i mean for the kids that have their own room so
26:34i'm coming
26:35with the vision but the whole time that i'm working towards a vision to benefit her and the kids
26:39that's the she's not she's not strategizing with me on accomplishing she's strategizing with me
26:45on making sure that i don't accomplish it so she can keep me at a place when i'm still striving
26:50still struggling and the whole time she's she's making it seem like you know what i mean she don't
26:54know what's going on so you have to be you have to understand that when people are not on the
26:58same
26:59page you know especially man that's the worst person to be around if you are taking if you are
27:03coming up with a plan and it's not only benefiting you and it's benefiting someone else and you're
27:08letting this person know that i have a plan that's going to benefit us and the only thing that they
27:12can
27:12do is attack the plan that was sent to benefit their own life you need to get away from that
27:16person
27:17man if i'm telling you man we can we can get a we can take these taxes and we can
27:22get a we can get a
27:23truck and i can start a moving company or we can you know put our money together we can you
27:27know
27:27start a vending machine company at least you know we can still work but we can start a vending machine
27:31we can start if i'm coming with some ideas and the whole time and i'm saying it's going to benefit
27:35us
27:35you know we can put both our name on the paperwork we can do and the whole time that i'm
27:39saying this
27:40you're finding out ways to to shoot down everything that i'm saying that's going to benefit us as a
27:45family or you're like you're agreeing with it but behind the scenes you're sending word curses you're
27:50trying to make sure i don't accomplish it you won't you know what i mean because you're you
27:55you're silent you're jealous but you're still you're still man i'm gonna i'm gonna put it like
28:00this i'm gonna end this off man this is the morning roasted podcast this is lessons i've learned
28:05from failed relationships and i'm gonna put it like this man sometimes you can be laying next to
28:11the enemy you can be you can be having you can have fun nights with the enemy you can be
28:16having
28:16sex with the enemy you could be pillow talking to the enemy and the whole time this person that's
28:21sitting there hugging on you loving you and getting and giving you the goods is the same person that's
28:26that's silently sabotaging you and making sure that you don't and hoping you don't make it nowhere in
28:31life just i'm i'm being honest so i hate to say say that i hate to say that but you
28:36know what i mean
28:37for someone that's been married before to someone that's had bad relationships and i'm not saying that
28:41the person is the only one that contributed to some of these losses you know what i mean uh so
28:46you know i take my accountability for areas that and patterns uh that i i had being being not to
28:52understand it you know what i mean when i'm chasing my goals and my dreams and i'm trying to get
28:56things
28:56done you do have to understand that if you're with someone that person needs a certain amount of time
29:00uh for you guys to bond and things like that no i work i worked all the time and i
29:05just paid for
29:05everything you know what i mean i i know i know you know i paid i paid all the bills
29:10you know what
29:11i mean paid all the bills bought them with whatever they wanted but i grinded you know i went from
29:14state
29:15to state moved around but the whole time is i ruined a certain part of my marriage because i didn't
29:20understand about uh love language some people don't care about money they just want you there to watch tv
29:26with them when you when i got home when i got home i work i work 14 hours and when
29:31i got home i would
29:32start to work on my own business so i worked with another company working probably 12 to 14 hours a
29:38day and then when i got home uh my wife you know what i mean i was making a lot
29:41of money but my my
29:42wife she just wanted me there present with her as soon as i got home i before i even got
29:47in the tub
29:47before i even wound down i would jump on my laptop and i'll start building building my business you know
29:53what i mean i'll start building the business so i could break away from the job that i was at
29:56she didn't
29:56see it like that she didn't care about the business she just she just wanted me to be present
30:00when i but now i was present and that and that worked into a factor of us of you know
30:05her you
30:05know looking for love somewhere else looking for attention somewhere somewhere else but i don't i
30:10don't care uh if you're married i don't care what what happens with that you know you need to bring
30:14that to a person's attention which as i look back it was brought to my attention but i was just
30:20so
30:20focused on grinding i was so focused on getting the money i was thinking about man we can have the
30:24good
30:25love and sit down and chill once we build the foundation or once we get enough money where
30:30you know what i mean we can have that leeway where i can chill but i didn't understand that being
30:34present while present is required i don't care if i worked all day or 14 hours a day whenever i'm
30:40at
30:40home i need to be at home i might you know whenever i'm at home when i make it home
30:43you know i need to
30:45at least i need to at least be present until she goes to sleep and then if i want to
30:48get up and i want to
30:49start to build a business or i want to build a business on my lunch break but when when you
30:53are
30:53present you need to be present you need to find time to be present in the moment without any
30:58distraction when it comes to uh being with someone you love so you know but those are things that you
31:03just have to understand man being an entrepreneur man being a being a being a man the boss of a
31:09company man so um those things will eat at your relationship and leave the door open the room
31:14open for air and other places so man just be careful with that but this is the morning roaster
31:19podcast this place will make your morning smile the most this is your host caleb thompson i'm coming
31:23live from new york city and this episode was called lessons i've learned from failed relationships
31:28and we'll see you guys back here next saturday 6 a.m eastern standard time peace
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