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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 5 Episode 16 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:02Gentlemen, I think I've come up with a fun way to get young people interested in science.
00:08Physics Mad Libs.
00:12Now, give me a number.
00:14Five.
00:16And an irrational constant.
00:18E.
00:19And a funny Greek letter.
00:22Gamma.
00:22I said funny.
00:25Upsilon?
00:26Good one.
00:28And an electrical charge.
00:30Positive.
00:31Perfect.
00:33Okay, get this.
00:35Professor Jones told the symposium he had a new method for calculating the mass of a muon.
00:42Five times the limit of E to the oops-alon as in a...
00:49Okay, no, no, no.
00:51I'll start over.
00:53Professor...
00:57I haven't seen him laugh that hard since the day Leonard made that multiplication error.
01:01Oh!
01:01Oh, Lord!
01:02That multiplication error!
01:03He thought he carried the one, but he didn't!
01:08It's not funny.
01:09That mistake got published.
01:10Stop!
01:11I'm gonna wet myself!
01:13Hey, guys, guys.
01:14President Siebert is headed this way.
01:16I wonder what he wants.
01:18He doesn't look happy, so I'm guessing he wants to talk to Sheldon.
01:20Dr. Cooper.
01:21Hold ya.
01:22Oh, President Siebert.
01:24I assume you'd like to respond to one of the suggestions I put in the box by your office?
01:28No.
01:29And stop installing suggestion boxes everywhere.
01:31What?
01:32You don't like written suggestions.
01:34You don't like when I give them to you while we're urinating in the men's room.
01:37Yeah.
01:37If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're one of those stubborn people who are not open to
01:41suggestions.
01:42Dr. Cooper, the physics department chair, tells me you're refusing to take your vacation.
01:46I don't need a vacation.
01:47No, you're obligated to take one.
01:49And I'd also like you to know the most often received suggestion in my suggestion box you installed without asking
01:54me is,
01:54can Dr. Cooper take a vacation?
01:58Okay, it's settled then. I'll see you all on Monday.
02:00Except for you.
02:01But if I don't come into work, what am I supposed to do with myself?
02:04Read, rest, travel.
02:06I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year.
02:11Sarcasm?
02:12No, you should go.
02:15The whole universe was in a hot, dense state
02:19The nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way further
02:22The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool, meanderthals, developed tools, rebuilt the walls, built the pyramids
02:28Maths, science, history unraveling the mystery, that all started with a big bang.
02:33Hey!
02:39And tonight's gonna be a good night
02:42And tonight's gonna be a good night
02:46And tonight's gonna be a good, good night
02:51Tonight's the night, uh, uh, let's live it up, uh
02:54I got my money, let's spend it up
02:57Good luck!
02:59Would you stop that caterwauling?
03:04What the hell are you doing?
03:06Bleeding from my ears
03:08What are you doing hiding back there?
03:10I'm sneaking into work
03:11Now, if the guard at the university asks what's under the blanket, you tell him it's some lobster traps
03:18Lobster traps?
03:19Yes, that's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse
03:25What are you gonna do when you get to the university? People are going to recognize you
03:29Will they, Leonard?
03:36Fine, just get back under your blanket and I'll drive you there
03:40And no more singing
03:44Fine
03:49I have GPS on my phone, I know you turned around
03:55I'm so glad you talked Howard out of having your wedding invitations in Klingon
04:02Turn it over
04:05I'm hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew
04:10This is really happening
04:11I'm gonna be a maid of honor
04:13I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle
04:16And finally, I will have my special day
04:20You mean my special day
04:22They're gonna need an extra large veil for somebody's head
04:26If I actually ever get married
04:29Why wouldn't you?
04:30My dad, cause I make a lot more money than Howie
04:33He's putting a lot of pressure on me to get a prenup
04:35Ouch
04:36Yeah, Howie's gonna freak out
04:39Parental pressure can be daunting
04:40I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs
04:45Last year, I finally gave in and let her do it
04:50I just don't know how I'm gonna break it to him
04:52You know, I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him
04:55That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother
05:00That's how I told his brother the same thing
05:03I don't know, I don't wanna manipulate him with sex
05:06Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for
05:09You know, the connection between marriage and money is nothing new
05:12In fact, the term wed referred to the money and livestock that the groom paid the bride's father
05:17For example, you're adorable, intelligent, and a good earner
05:20I could conservatively see you going for at least two oxen and a goose
05:26You would fetch a unicorn
05:31Children, there are a million great vacations you could take
05:34What about Hawaii?
05:36Hawaii is a former leper colony on top of an active volcano
05:40Where the disappointing ending to Lost was filmed
05:46Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii
05:49How about Florida?
05:50They got Cape Canaveral, they got Disney, they got my Aunt Ida and the world's largest collection of diabetic candy
05:56Plus, if you get sweaty enough, her plastic-covered furniture is like a flume ride
06:01My family took a trip to Florida when I was a child
06:04A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach
06:08I got the message
06:11You know, if I had a week off, I'd go back to the Two Bunch Palms resort and spa in
06:15the desert
06:15I'd tell you, an hour on the massage table with Trevor
06:18And you'd feel like you were born without bones
06:22I don't think I could ever let a guy give me a massage
06:25Really? What was I doing to your neck last night while you were playing Xbox?
06:30It's like I'm living in a dictatorship
06:32You must take a vacation, you must have fun, you must enjoy life
06:38I don't think you have a good handle on dictatorships
06:42Sheldon, everybody takes vacations
06:44One time, they tried to make Richard Feynman take a vacation
06:46But he chose instead to expand his mind and learn something new
06:50He went to work in his friend's biology lab
06:52Richard Feynman was a famous American physicist, part of the Manhattan Project
06:57Everyone in the world of science knows who Richard Feynman was
07:00Now you do too
07:05Oh, I have a brilliant idea
07:08Amy's a biologist, I'll go work in her lab
07:10Isn't that just Feynman's idea?
07:13Ten seconds ago, you never heard of him, now you're an expert
07:20Hey
07:20Hey you
07:21Is that your laundry? You only have like six things in there
07:23Yeah, I didn't have any quarters, so I've been sneaking stuff into other people's loads all day
07:29Hey, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anybody?
07:31Doesn't matter what I say, you're gonna tell me anyway
07:33What? That is not true
07:38Bernadette wants a prenup
07:41Wow, that's rough
07:44So you're saying if I became a famous movie star and we got married, you wouldn't sign a prenup?
07:49Absolutely not
07:50If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling
07:57Then Leonard gots to get paid
08:01So, do you think about us getting married?
08:03I think about a lot of things
08:05I think about us getting married, I think about us breaking up
08:08Once in a while, I think about how I didn't leave a note on that Mercedes I dinged in the
08:11parking lot last month
08:12But then I have a glass of wine, and it passes
08:16Choke all you want, but you think about it
08:17Well, tell you one thing, if I ever do get married, no Klingon invitations
08:23Good luck catching a man with that attitude
08:27Boy, oh boy, this vacation is off to a wonderful start
08:33Smell a formaldehyde
08:35Whirr of the centrifuge
08:38Distant chatter of lab animals being dispatched for dissection
08:42I can already feel my cares just melting away
08:46I'm excited to work with my boyfriend, it's gonna be romantic
08:49Way to kill the mood
08:52Come on Sheldon, we can be like Marie Curie and her husband Pierre
08:55Who spent their days working side by side, bathed in the glow of their love and the radium that ultimately
09:00killed her
09:02Screw Beauty and the Beast, that's the love story Disney should tell
09:07Okay, what do we start with?
09:09Maybe splicing some genes, clone a sheep
09:12Perhaps grow a human ear on a mouse's back
09:15Ha ha, I'm a freak
09:19Well, I'm gonna be doing some brain stem histology
09:22While you put yourself on the business end of a sponge and wash those beakers
09:26Wash those be-
09:27Oh, I get it
09:29A little hazing for the new fella
09:31Better keep an eye out for, what, shoe polish on the microscope
09:34For mad cow disease in my grilled cheese sandwich
09:38No, I just need those beakers washed
09:40Hippity hop, quick like a bunny
09:41What?
09:42Excuse me, you have Dr. Sheldon Cooper in your lab
09:45You're gonna make him do the dishes?
09:46That's like asking the Incredible Hulk to open a pickle jar
09:52Sheldon, you've never worked in a lab like this before
09:54You have no experience in the field of biology
09:57I have plenty of experience in biology
09:59I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998
10:03And...
10:03It's still alive, let's do this
10:12Where's Howard?
10:13No hi Raj, no how are you Raj
10:15Straight to where's the other white guy?
10:19I'm sorry
10:20So, listen, I heard something about him
10:22Can you keep it between us?
10:24Ooh, gossip
10:25When I first got here, I thought you Americans really gossiped around the water cooler
10:29So I hung out there for like a month
10:31But the only gossip I ever heard was about some creepy guy hanging out by the water cooler
10:38Bernadette wants to get a prenup
10:40Oh, that's a shame, he's gonna be devastated
10:42I never know what to do in these situations
10:44Should I give him a heads up?
10:46Hmm...
10:47I'm gonna give you the same advice I yell at the TV when the bachelor's handing out roses
10:53Follow your heart
10:56Check it out
10:57Look at the size of that Rice Krispie Treat
11:00Same price!
11:03Hey Howard, I need to tell you something
11:04I know, it's not on my wedding diet, I don't care
11:10Listen, I heard that Bernadette's thinking about asking you for a prenup
11:16A prenup?
11:19Wow
11:20What are you gonna do?
11:23I... don't know
11:25Follow your heart
11:33You know what, it's not a big deal
11:36I mean, she makes more money than me
11:38She wants to protect her financial interests
11:42It's completely reasonable
11:43Good, that's a healthy attitude
11:45Actually, it's good for both of us
11:47I have assets to protect too
11:48Like what?
11:51I've got some rare comic books
11:52The Vespas almost paid off
11:56And Ma and I have a primo double cemetery plot at Mount Sinai
11:59Right near the guy who played Mr. Roper on Three's Company
12:02Mr. Roper's dead?
12:06You can't just spring that on a guy?
12:11Here you go
12:12This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates
12:17And a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan
12:21Soap spots, wash them again
12:23You're being ridiculous, those are perfectly clean
12:27Sheldon, this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid from an elephant that died of syphilis
12:32If it's in fact perfectly clean, drink from it
12:41Biologists are mean
12:45Alright, perhaps this task will be a little bit more up your alley
12:48I need you to count the bacteria spores on these petri dishes
12:51There was something wrong with that detergent
12:53That was way too bubbly
12:56I'm sure it was
12:56I intend to write that soap company a strongly worded letter
13:00Yeah, good for you, now start counting
13:03You know what this place needs?
13:05A suggestion box
13:10366
13:12367
13:12How's it going?
13:14How's counting going?
13:16When I was in kindergarten, I recited pie to a thousand places for the school talent show
13:21I think I got this
13:23Great
13:29Aw, nuts
13:34One
13:37This is preposterous
13:39I think you're giving me these tasks because you're afraid if you give me anything meaningful to do, I'll show
13:43you up
13:45Really? Is that what you think?
13:47Yes, that's what I think
13:48And I'm super smart, so it's probably true
13:52Hey, I've been training in the field of neurobiology for 12 years
13:55You've been here for three hours and you spent one of them in the bathroom
13:59I'm sorry, it takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet
14:05Sheldon, I've given you the simplest things to do and you haven't done one of them right
14:08Maybe that's because I'm not being challenged
14:10It's the same reason Einstein failed math
14:12Maybe the math was too bubbly for him
14:15You think you're doing science by cutting up that brain?
14:18It could do the same thing at any Quiznos
14:19And they'd offer to toast it for me too
14:24Okay, smart guy
14:25I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus, which is incredibly delicate work
14:30Have at it
14:32All right
14:35I'm no stranger to a little grey matter
14:41Locus coeruleus
14:46Locus coeruleus
14:48You're getting warmer, it is indeed in the brain
14:53Hope your hands are steady
14:54It's the width of a single hair
14:55But this is just biology, so I'm sure it's no problem for a genius like you
14:59It's not
15:00I'll have you know that in the field of physics
15:02We work with particles so small
15:03They make fat jokes about the locus coeruleus
15:07I.E. when your locus coeruleus sits around the house
15:10It sits around the house
15:16Oh
15:17Are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
15:19No, what you see is a man trembling with confidence
15:29Does the locus coeruleus normally bleed that much?
15:32No, but your thumb does
15:37Oh dear
15:41Yeah, you're a biologist
15:48What are you doing here?
15:50I'm on vacation
15:52Social convention dictates that I let my hair down at a local watering hole
15:59Social convention is stupid
16:03What happened to your thumb?
16:05Yeah, I have ten fingers and ten toes
16:07If I tell you a story about each one of them, we'll be here all day
16:10Let's just move on
16:12What can I get you?
16:13Ah, seeing as I'm on vacation
16:16Pina colada seems appropriate
16:18Extra pineapple slices, extra whipped cream, extra cherries, extra umbrellas
16:23And, uh, hold the rum
16:26Don't let me have too many of those
16:29Hey, what are you guys doing here?
16:31We're grown men, we drink at bars
16:34No, and no
16:38Everything okay with you and Bernadette?
16:40Oh, yeah, sure
16:43You and Amy, good?
16:44No, better than good
16:47You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens
16:50I'm not signing a prenup
16:53Alright, Howard Wolowitz, listen up
16:55You sign anything she puts in front of you
16:57Because you are the luckiest man alive
16:59If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else
17:01Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not gonna happen, we had a meeting
17:07And you, a grown man, fainting at the sight of a little blood
17:10Excuse me, this is a fairly substantial wound
17:20Amy? Amy?
17:26What do you want?
17:28I was kind of hoping I could continue vacationing in your laboratory
17:32After all, I did book the whole week
17:37Do you honestly think you can just waltz back in here after the way you behaved yesterday?
17:42I was not myself
17:43I had lost a lot of thumb blood
17:49That's not an apology
17:50That is your opinion
17:53I want a real apology
17:56I'm sorry that you weren't able to
18:01No
18:02That my genius
18:02No
18:04That the soap was so
18:06Sheldon
18:09Fine
18:14Sorry
18:16You're forgiven
18:18Now if you want to stay
18:19Get started on those beakers, they're still dirty from yesterday
18:26Next year I'm going to Epcot
18:28Next year I'm going to Epcot
18:30Are you mad at me?
18:36No, I'm not mad at you
18:38I just wish you would have come to me so I didn't have to hear it through the nerd vine
18:46So what are we going to do?
18:48You really want me to sign a prenup?
18:51I don't know
18:52My dad's pretty insistent on it though
18:54Why don't I talk to your dad?
18:56Man to man
18:57Really? That'd be so great
19:00Done
19:02I should probably give you a heads up about a couple things
19:06Even though he's retired from the police force, he still carries his gun
19:11But don't worry, he won't shoot it, it's more of a fashion statement
19:16Okay
19:18And just to be safe, when you talk to him
19:20Don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter
19:28rule, recycling, or the fact that you're Jewish
19:34Got it, got it
19:35Will you email me that list?
19:38So the thing to watch for, if he's shouting at you, you're okay
19:42But if he starts to get real quiet, leave as quickly as you can without making eye contact
19:48Not in a straight line, throw some zigs and zags in there
19:55You know, this isn't that pressing, why don't I talk to him about it in May?
19:59In May you're going to be on the International Space Station
20:03They got a phone?
20:15No
20:34It's not listed yet
20:34So that people please keep on with me
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