- 12 minutes ago
First broadcast 11th February 1993.
Recently released jailbird Toby 'Jug' Johnson makes revelations to Arthur about apparent betrayals by Dave when they were all younger.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
James Booth - Toby Jug Johnson
Sidney Livingstone - Bert
Lill Roughley - Doreen
Emma Cunningham - Gloria
John Levitt - Jimmy the Jeweller
Frank Mills - Len
Peter Gowen - Dermot
Terry John - Winchester Regular
Aaron Harris - Winchester Regular
Terry Mortimer - Winchester Regular
Romolo Bruni - Carlos
Pamela Cundell - Marge
Recently released jailbird Toby 'Jug' Johnson makes revelations to Arthur about apparent betrayals by Dave when they were all younger.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
James Booth - Toby Jug Johnson
Sidney Livingstone - Bert
Lill Roughley - Doreen
Emma Cunningham - Gloria
John Levitt - Jimmy the Jeweller
Frank Mills - Len
Peter Gowen - Dermot
Terry John - Winchester Regular
Aaron Harris - Winchester Regular
Terry Mortimer - Winchester Regular
Romolo Bruni - Carlos
Pamela Cundell - Marge
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:11Arthur, can we have a little chat?
00:15I've got this letter here from Snooper Sneed.
00:19Who's he?
00:20The accountant, remember?
00:21Please, Dave, I'm dealing with weighty matters here.
00:23Only he says here you are legally obliged to have a board meeting
00:26at which convocation the annual return must be presented
00:29before a quorum of its members,
00:32preferably in the presence of a chartered accountant.
00:35When do I go for the Evesham extension or the Grassinger and Gazebo?
00:39Come again?
00:40Her indoors.
00:41I'm thinking of getting her something for the back garden.
00:43She's always had her leaning to the Green Finger,
00:45one of these glass houses.
00:48Is that what these things cost?
00:50Well, you've got to pay for workmanship, Dave.
00:52Yeah, well, not that I begrudge her indoors a rear extension.
00:55Can we get our priorities right?
00:58Right.
00:59We are about to hold a board meeting
01:01and you are supposed to be a shareholder
01:03and so far you have not shelled out a bean.
01:05I mean, you've had all the benefits
01:06and I've hardly seen a penny piece.
01:08I've told you before, Dave, it's the recession.
01:10It's dried up me cash flow.
01:12How come then you can afford these here luxury linkers?
01:16If you care to refer to page 59
01:19by the terracotta squirrel offer,
01:21you'll see they have easy terms available
01:23at competitive rates.
01:24I've already sent me forms in.
01:27Well, what's all this lead in, Judy?
01:291953, coronation year.
01:32Well, how's building a greenhouse
01:33meant to celebrate the Queen's ascent to the throne?
01:36I'm referring to my wedding anniversary.
01:38Oh, there.
01:391953, we got off to a very good start.
01:42Brief honeymoon in Shoebury Ness
01:43and when we came back,
01:45I had acquired a pitch
01:47for a snack store in Trafalgar Square
01:49on coronation day itself.
01:51Oh, what a team we were.
01:53I was on the corned beef sarnies.
01:55Her indoors was crushing the lemons for the cordial.
01:57Poor Bahrain.
01:58It was a miserable day.
02:00And then,
02:01as a procession turned into Whitehall,
02:03chucked a left at Admiralty Arch.
02:05Yeah.
02:05The sun shone through the storm clouds
02:08and glinted on the golden roof
02:10of the coronation coach.
02:12Her indoors turned to me,
02:14tear in her eye and
02:14a little catch in her voice
02:16and said,
02:17the sun is shining on our new monarch.
02:20Radiant, she was.
02:22Yeah, well,
02:23Mrs. Daly always did have a certain glow.
02:26Not her, you prune.
02:27Our new queen.
02:28Feel that, haven't you?
02:30Yeah, Marge,
02:31would you give Arthur
02:31another cup of coffee?
02:32What's she doing on that side of the jump?
02:34I thought her job was a quick
02:35mop and dust round
02:36before the punters came in.
02:37I've asked Marge
02:38to be a relief barmaid.
02:39I have to be out and about this morning.
02:40Extra stuff?
02:41You're splashing up
02:42with our profits today, aren't you?
02:43Our profits?
02:44Look, Arthur,
02:45you have to buy the stamps
02:46to get the dividends.
02:47That's the point
02:48I've been trying to make to you.
02:49Especially with old Snoop or Sneed
02:50come and have a look at the books.
02:52Somebody at the door, Dave?
02:53Yeah, I heard.
02:57Oh, Jimmy.
03:00Hello, Jim.
03:01What are you doing
03:01in this part of the world?
03:03Hello, Arthur.
03:04I won't get you in a minute, Jimmy.
03:06Arthur, I'll see you later.
03:08Well, don't be long
03:09because I'm just off
03:09to pick up Toby.
03:11Right, right.
03:13See you later, Jim.
03:23Oh, Toby.
03:26Fifteen years.
03:27It's been a long time.
03:30Are you, uh, coming?
03:32No, no, no.
03:32I'll wait.
03:33Yeah.
03:34I know what you mean.
03:36No, what is it like in there?
03:39It's not too bad.
03:40Once you get used
03:41to the routine,
03:42knowing Toby helped a lot.
03:44Knew the ropes.
03:46Steered me up
03:47a few cushy numbers.
03:48Prison library,
03:49that sort of thing.
03:50They're a good lad,
03:51old Toby.
03:52A little touch of class.
04:01Oh, help us.
04:22Hey, officer.
04:24Take a good look
04:25at these men.
04:26They're a menace to society.
04:31So be true.
04:34Oh, Leonard.
04:35Leonard.
04:35Are you still serving
04:36the old special?
04:37He's Ken Barrow.
04:38I'm still in Coronation Street.
04:39It's marvelous
04:39to be our Arthur.
04:41Back in the bosom
04:42of one's friends.
04:44All I've got to do now
04:45is find a friend
04:46with a decent bosom, eh?
04:52Oh, yeah.
04:53Man, it's a time
04:54I lay stretched out
04:54in myself
04:56daydreaming about
04:56one of them specials.
04:58Yeah.
04:59God bless you, squire.
05:00And all your descendants
05:01under the seventh generation.
05:03Now, if you excuse me,
05:04gents,
05:04I'll just run this
05:05over the old shoppers
05:06and roger the consequences.
05:08Long time since you
05:09had a decent drink, eh, Ty?
05:10Well, barring the odd
05:11glass or two
05:12of home brew
05:12and a nip or two
05:13of cooking, sherry.
05:14Nigh on 15 years.
05:20that's like a slap in a kisser from a wet halibut oh yeah your fair hand has lost none of
05:29its skill
05:29in the passing of the years young sir i'll have another one all around no no steady toby
05:35you gotta pace yourself remember you're not used to it that's right toby everything in
05:42moderation mo moderation you can stuff mo moderation my son you can take mo moderation
05:47outside and give it a good kicking i've had 15 years of mo moderation and i'm here to tell you
05:52that mo moderation ain't all it's cracked up to be no my son thank you give me excess and plenty
05:59of it
06:00cheers yeah well where are they dave i can't wait around all day i've got things to do you know
06:05what
06:05toby wanted to have his hair cut apparently they're not up to the delta soon standard in the scrubs
06:10where is he where's dave the boy green hey wow whoops he's a right star
06:18oh whooping hey pissed again oh push me hey oh quartermaster say that man's name
06:27where you been fingers in the till again hey toby young young sir
06:32come here you old whiskey waterer
06:38who's that oh this is ray oh yeah hello ray ray who ray daly
06:45you're ray little sugar ray daly i don't believe this you know the last time i saw you you were
06:51that big do you know why i called you sugar ray yeah i know sugar ray leonard no robinson
06:56fine boy fine boy yeah oh i've got to um you know splash the old uh brogues
07:02yeah
07:06who's nick the carsey oh it's over here now oh
07:13somebody's jiggling the carpet when you finish we'll be in the function room
07:17oh good i'll have a large one
07:20oh god what a state show a bit of respect he was very good to your dad when he fell
07:26foul yes i've heard yeah what's your interest in him oh we were in the same gang as kids
07:31look i hold no brief for tea leaves but i have a sneaking admiration for toby
07:35his was a perfect crime well if it was so perfect how come he got caught he didn't he got
07:39pulled for
07:40drunk and disorderly got confused and confessed to the lot tragic misunderstanding it must have been
07:45some job dad said he got 15 years what he asked for 63 other offenses to be taken into account
07:49yeah what was this uh gang you was in there the brentford backhanders craftiest bunch of kids from
07:57west london equal fine all grew up to be pillars of the willsden business community blub brothers for
08:02life hey give us a backhand of you all backhand of you oh you're a fine boy you're not you're
08:07a good lad
08:09oh yeah yeah i feel a bit out of place now i'm gonna shoot off got an old school friend
08:13of me
08:13own to meet up with you know what i mean yeah well you shoot off right i'll find out to
08:17be
08:18you'll be on this all afternoon all right still serving the same old horse lineman here's to the
08:25health of cardinal puff puff puff for the first time i can drink any man under the table here we
08:34go
08:38come on after i can't hold him up much longer i'll find the right key it's too dark
08:45shh get the noise down home is where i hang my hand come on toby
08:52this is the biggest week of the bits i've ever seen
08:56get off my jacket
09:15you uh sure you won't change your mind i told you i've got to be up really early in the
09:20morning
09:25and the old daily charm won't work with me
09:39okay
09:43you are impossible
09:55i'll find another hotel for the night
09:58bye
10:03what the hell is he doing here there's been a bit of a
10:06cock-up crisis toby's a little bit plastered your mum won't have him in the house so you'll have to
10:10put him up for the night no way he won't bite i'm not having him staying here may i remind
10:15you who owns
10:16his pa out there you can't do this to me dad consider it done it's an emergency come on
10:41you're all right i'm coming
10:45all right
10:54well what a state to get into eh three grown men all right ray don't bang on about it hangover
11:00is
11:00his own punishment what did mum say this morning i wouldn't repeat it to young ears yeah i want him
11:06out of here i forgot to tell you about that he's staying here he's not he is arthur i want
11:11this old
11:12leg out of here ray toby has been inside for 15 years he's like a coiled spring he needs someone
11:18to
11:18keep an eye on him keep him away from the boozer before nine and don't let him anywhere near widows
11:24or post offices why not never mind if he so much as drops a sweet paper they'll have him back
11:29inside
11:29before the ink on his gyros dry yeah but arthur look at it i'm sorry ray i cannot have that
11:33on my
11:34conscience for the meantime i am making you toby's minder he looked after me in the nick son i do
11:40owe him hello stopping out time already didn't tell we look well oh you should have seen him this
11:49morning took me right back seeing him made me think what about oh the old days the good old days
11:59never see their like again he was quite an handful when we was at school you know the old backhanders
12:07you dave mickey karns who was the who was the other one um uh jimmy de jeweler i saw him
12:13recently he
12:14looks as if he's doing very well you know oh toby toby told me a very funny story about you
12:20look what
12:21what what was that well you your mum had sent you uh to get a get a chicken from that
12:27bent butcher
12:28down arlington crescent wilkins that was his name wilkes yeah and uh on the way home you met up with
12:36a gang and had a game of foot well when she opened the bag there at the bottom there in
12:42the bottom of
12:43it was a it was a bloody great dead rat i remember apparently your your dad wasn't half annoyed he
12:50kicked me up and down brentford eye street twice oh that rat all right dave found it down the drain
12:59on
12:59the wreck that's dave of course don't laugh about it now oh we do he was a case was dave
13:12toby was telling me about the wolsey as well the wolsey yeah well apparently saying about you ever
13:16know a wolsey for your scrap and rag business mind you that's going back a few years the old wolsey
13:21fell apart on its first outing underweight of lead piping straight through the chassis strewn all over
13:27the great west road who'd have imagined arthur daly falling for a rust bucket like that hey that was on
13:35a recommendation of dave yeah exactly toby reckons he was on a commission from the cellar
13:42of the car
13:51how are you feeling bright as a button yeah you always did have the constitution of an ox
14:02old toad oh i'm glad we got a little while before we have to go and pick up ray because
14:08um there's something i want to ask you um do you remember once my mum sent me over to wilkins
14:14the
14:14butcher to get a chicken and on the way back the rat classic that wasn't it oh i'll never forget
14:22your
14:22dad waving that sack around and shouting half the words i've never heard before or since for that
14:27matter was it was it old day who switched the chicken for the rat i'm surprised at you arthur
14:33go to the backhanders oh no no no you're quite right no member shall blow the whistle on another
14:37member even if that member's blown the whistle on another member remember yeah yeah i'm quite right
14:41i won't mention it again oh mighty
14:48sir another thing i wanted to ask you about do you remember the scrap business oh yeah daly's
14:53forgery yeah a nice little number do you remember the woozy i got for transport
14:59no names no petrol it's under the bridge the point is before you got um sent down in 77 we
15:08had a bit
15:09of business you remember oh yeah what yeah the esky twas yeah yeah the iffy chippendales the deal of
15:15the decade you called it yeah i went in for a grand yeah yeah no need to thank me arthur
15:19no no no i
15:20don't you quite get in my drift toby um how can i put this what happened uh hey it went
15:27through didn't
15:28it yeah nice little learner but i didn't get any money what yeah i i gave you gave it to
15:34who oh no i'm
15:36sorry arthur i can't answer that question on the aforementioned ground that it might incriminate
15:40a fellow uh backhander one of the gang go to the backhanders arthur
15:51there's probably a simple explanation no if only there was but if only there was
15:57no i see it all now the rat in the bag did it i mean anyone who can stoop that
16:02low has got to have
16:03snow water in his veins i mean i can take a practical joke but that could have seen mum
16:07off the state of her nerves he did give her a turn and who sabotaged the scrap business with a
16:14wobbly
16:14wolsey i knew he resented my success with a scrap yard i could tell from the marked manner he had
16:20as he stacked the old car batteries and now this bad business with toby just the latest in a long
16:26line
16:26of perfidy why don't you go down there and have it out with him i couldn't do that why not
16:31that's
16:31against the code of the backhanders teaching on each other i just dropped toby in it i wouldn't know
16:37about that you never let me join
16:42there you go sir cheerio cheers
16:49i can't take any vodka in that oh it's in it all right large one yeah i believe you
16:57hello arthur how goes the wheels of industry usual arthur raymond ellie joy at the garden center
17:04small basic greenhouse minimum 250. easy terms i'll purchase well you're joking they're giving
17:10nothing on tick arthur yes about that little chat we was gonna have little chat remember the letter from
17:18my accountant fixing the time of our board meeting well we were talking about you making me a little
17:23advance you know towards your shares in the club you really do have a nerve don't you pardon
17:28nothing it's of no consequence well you you know what they're like don't you
17:31who accountants what do you say i say very little dave i trust myself to say very little but i'll
17:38consider it and get back to you you're all right of it perfectly all right though i do find the
17:44air
17:44a little feet in here today look somebody's got to make a contribution to this club
18:15hey where you going loftus road home of a track in football
18:20what we did like the rangers ian gillard down bowls don masson jerry francis old park's the
18:27and then that yeah but tober there's no game on it no i've got to make the works out maybe
18:30you put
18:31a bit of business my way well i'll come down with you all right
18:50come on in joey thank you
18:54are we on that road yeah it's all right there's no one here in the office
18:59thanks for dropping over jimmy only thinks i'm a bit empty
19:04i understand still but that's the luxury end of the market for you
19:07well luckily you're going right now
19:39i've collected all the money
19:40thanks for luck jimmy it's been a pleasure doing business i'm glad to be in on it arthur won't know
20:14what he did
20:14but there's trials here you know not the sort of trials i'm used to now though
20:19well let's hope you've seen your last day
20:21oh don't you worry i'm going straight i've got plans
20:25nice little drinker decent clientele
20:29you watch i'll crack it yeah you keep your nose clean sure you will
20:36listen son
20:38i know you think i'm a bit of an old lag but i still want respect
20:41so you keep your son to school homilies to yourself okay
20:44now don't get aerated don't come the cherub
20:48i know keep him out of trouble
20:52make sure he doesn't overdo the sauce am i right or am i right yeah that about covers it good
20:59lad
21:00i like an honest man
21:03you remind me a lot of myself when i was your age a bit of a lad a few ideas
21:08a bit of an eye for the birds
21:10right right yeah snappy dresser do me a favor don't end up like me
21:19yeah well i'll try you always remember the first rule look after your mates
21:24there's nothing worse more than a friend the backhanders eh
21:29no no not that kid stuff i mean for real
21:32i'll take after i mean you look after him and he'll stick by you he's soft
21:38well arthur's arthur i know that man's cream and i know what he thinks about you
21:42make sure you get his respect
21:45i will
21:54that's all that
21:57who'd imagine it
21:59daily of all people i can barely bring myself to believe it
22:02hell and i water we've been through together and all the time he was hiding a black heart behind
22:07the smiles selling me out behind my back but he was such a true friend this is what grieves me
22:13bird him who i thought of as the brother i never had
22:19well the other brother i've never had
22:22turns out to be a whited sepulcher turncoat all these years i've been harboring a sniper in my bosom
22:28i could cheerfully fetch him a poke in the eye what are you going to do i will no longer
22:33break bread
22:34with him nor eat of his salt he's had it in that department he'll find out you have to get
22:38up long
22:39before a milkman if you want to put one over on arthur daly
22:53you all right sound with me
22:54hi there
22:57where's right they popped out for takeaway
23:00what you got there hey my old photograph album here there's some memories here after i'll tell
23:05you oh yeah yeah remember this one you me and mickey karns down at broadstairs look at that tank
23:14that was his clark gable period remember five foot two of alt in salt yeah what was that you used
23:19to say to him you need a girl you can look up to yeah there we go there's you me
23:27and bert oh look at
23:28you look at me look at you look at his trousers aft mask that's an old pair of mine yeah
23:34oh there
23:36we are down the allotment digging for victory yeah thinking for spuds we had about 50 pounds before
23:39the owner turned up what's that then crazy golf friend me and dave
23:50look haven't we got enough we're not feeding the 5 000. yeah it just feels like it he's eating me
23:54out of house and home arthur and as you haven't paid me yet the least you can do is flip
23:58the wall
23:58film your fridge how are you supposed to find anything in here what's left on the list carrots
24:04carrots well hold up hold up sun-dried pimentos you can find all sorts of exotica but you want a
24:10bag
24:10of carrots you need a scalp leave it to me i'll get them here and arthur don't move i don't
24:18want to spend the
24:18rest of the day looking for you squid in its own ink what
24:34arthur david shopping obviously sir it turned out nice again indeed it's not for about yesterday look i'd rather not
24:46discuss it if you don't mind what is wrong with you east is east and west is west
24:51now if you'll excuse me i think i see the celery salt i was looking for
24:55oh madam watch that chicken you could turn into a rat if you get behind the wrong person at the
24:59checkout counter pardon
25:06look he's your best friend why all this bad blood somewhere there's no suddenly about him i have
25:11discovered nefarious activate is going back for years decades even arthur you've finally gone
25:17gone have i there he is jimmy lejeweller again and mickey karls the fifth backhander that settles it
25:32was what what what what you don't understand ray is is is his tired ties were formed that mean nothing
25:42to
25:42your fickle generation if if if dave is seeing jimmy and mickey without inviting me that that that that
25:52can only mean one thing treachery they are crowbarring me out of the winch i don't believe i'm hearing
26:02this come on arthur you've had enough no amount of vodka can wash away the disappointment right same
26:09again no arthur come on i'm taking you home come on oh the unkind is cut of all come on
26:19oh look at you watch yourself look you sit down there i'm gonna make your coffee in all your cab
26:28oh okay i'll tell you between you and toby you gotta pull yourself together
26:38never given any thought of what auntie will say when you get back in this state eh
26:43arthur
26:46arthur don't ignore me when i'm talking to you arthur
26:52arthur
26:54well i drink this
27:24arthur
27:24hello who's there who goes there friend or foe it's you arthur who are you up to i'm just shutting
27:33up
27:33do you remember the backhanders yeah yeah of course i do do you remember when mickey khan fell
27:41out with toby jug over the football cards it was a long time ago they wanted to have each other
27:47out
27:47look arthur it's very light but rather than have a punch-up we invented the ceremony of the button yeah
27:57yeah yeah what what of it that's for a rat what you talking about don't come to you innocent with
28:04me you know perfectly well what i'm on about you're drunk and you are a swine but i will be
28:11sober
28:11tomorrow tomorrow and that's for the wolsey leave it off that this is my picture come here i haven't
28:18finished i haven't done the eskitois you're talking about the wolsey the rat the eskitois
28:24selling my shares behind my back under my very nose get off my shirt give me that button
28:31oh no you've done it now you're bad you can't bar me i bar me you are bar me now
28:41get out of here
28:42with pleasure i'll i'll tell you this you have tilted your line said the wrong man
28:52you will be in a cardboard box by the end of the year
28:56and you'll be in a straitjacket by the end of the week
29:02this means war
29:17all right you hold the fort till i get there yeah
29:23well that's your lot it's not exactly a conservatory but i suppose it's gonna have to do
29:26oh nonsense look at the workmanship in that is that the stuff under the rust
29:31little bit of bra so that'll come up a treat that's a hell of a job arthur
29:34hey see if you can find a box and some polystyrene bits to put it in make it look as
29:38if it's just
29:38come from the shop rather than straight from the skip you mean you mark my words when you put a
29:42bit
29:42of elbow grease in on that it'll look a treat i'll get started then no no no no time for
29:46that you're
29:47coming with me where to
29:57what you brought me here for raymond this will soon be the las vegas of willsden
30:02busloads of punters will flock here this is going to be the mecca of the smart set from shepherd's bush
30:06at acton what you want about this is a teeny bopper's drinker you can't get in here if you're
30:12over 14. was ray was things are changing let's go inside
30:20no no no no no arthur
30:24here arthur what have you done don't tell me and me have gone into business
30:28i have invested in the surefire winner right invested you haven't two washes to rub together
30:32i would have gone like this you don't need capital a couple of phone calls and i've been
30:36flooded with would-be backers oh nobby green nobby green the great white loan shark he is a shrewd
30:42businessman what did you use for collateral yeah i'm under no obligation to disclose my sources to
30:47you not the car front certainly not well you ain't got anything no not the flat not auntie's flat
30:53look this is purely a temporary measure i'll predict every profit within the month you're doing this to
30:58get a day venture nonsense you are you're putting your head on the chopping block just to have a dig
31:02it in look what do you reckon frank sinartha at caesar's palace or tom jones at the sands
31:06this is a full-blown feud ain't it arthur well i want no part of it oi oi may i
31:10remind you that you
31:10are not only in my employ but you are linked to me by blood ties and as such is beholden
31:16upon you
31:16when the family's in strife to close ranks so get your jacket off you've just been appointed ed barman
31:22no way what if you want to behave like a vindictive child arthur that's up to you but
31:27dave's been decent to me and i'm not doing him down raymond may i remind you my enemy's friend is
31:35my
31:36enemy grow up
32:02what time's your taxi but oh god i knew i'd forgotten something oh well i was
32:08leaflet in all day i'll do it all right ray hi mom dad let's go and polish our shoes
32:21you haven't reconsidered then it's nothing to consider all right all right don't get shirty
32:26you're a big lad now you make your own decisions this is a wrong one but that's down to you
32:30thanks
32:30very much you're a lot of young people there what'd you say come on don't be obstinate go and dig
32:37out
32:37a whistle and come and shake a leg with us pay your double for the night look arthur we've had
32:44our
32:45runnings and we haven't always seen eye to eye i always respected you
33:09all right here we go here we go good evening
33:19good very nice one glass now folks welcome to our inaugural evening here flash your invite over
33:29there you get a free glass of champagne cannabis floating all around the place help yourself
33:33comprehensive management
33:39see him he's a die-hard winchester man if ever i saw one
33:44tell him we're on a roll cheers
34:05saturday night there's hardly a soul here
34:08there's some kind of curfew in wilson some new place down the road cheaper than here
34:17well there you go lads good night arthur
34:20good night thank you for a super super night oh glad you enjoyed it
34:27gentlemen i'll give you a toast the premier night spot in wilson in the words of the poet we're in
34:34the
34:34money how come we've got through so much stuff in one night well that's the nature of a gala
34:40i've been burst you bung the stuff up cheap for one night then hit them with a real price once
34:43you've got them on the hook suppose you know best yeah well my pocket's not bottomless so don't go mad
34:48in
34:55there
34:56come on get out of the way i'm in hurry so am i the rule of the road in here
34:59is keep left
35:00i thought you only understood the rule of the jungle what do you mean
35:03i'm a bad dreamer on my patch you don't let me pass i'll call the manager
35:07poacher
35:19same again no i'm just off where
35:22well i'm going home why i mean i've practically given the beer away there's three nose bags all over
35:29the counter what more do you want the wife's expecting me oh sorry i've got a lot on me mind
35:35on your way thanks
35:42look what the wind's blown in dave i've got nothing to do with this trouble between you and arthur
35:47sorry rale a bit on edge what can i get you i want the answers to a few questions
35:51about what about who more like toby johnson
35:57look i can see you don't trust him so what's the score
36:00cold at the backhanders ray come on give it a rest dave
36:05he is trouble yeah but he looked after me when he was in nick anything that came his way your
36:11dad paid for with his weekly snout ration white acting as toby's butler toby johnson never did no
36:17one a favor for nothing maybe he's reformed can you pluck feathers from a frog
36:25i don't think i'm going to talk to you
36:28i will help
36:29oh three grand is a one
36:32you must concentrate
36:35Two large scotches, please.
36:38Two large scotches over there.
36:39Two large scotches over there.
36:40I thought I was only helping those here.
36:43Excuse me, I ordered four lagers.
36:46Four pints of lager over there.
36:47I told you, sir, the lagers are being changed.
36:50That's right, it won't be a minute.
36:51I couldn't hurry Toby up down the cellar, could you?
36:55How's anybody else for just spirits?
37:00Come on, Toby, the customers are getting restless.
37:03I do not know what's wrong with it, Arthur.
37:05I mean, it should be working.
37:06I mean, the heads are tight, the gas is on.
37:09Maybe it needs more pressure.
37:24See, that should do it.
37:27Dermot, let her rip.
37:28Come on, we'll give you some service here.
37:30Fight along.
37:31Open it, sorry, you're right in our way.
37:33Oh, shit, please.
37:34Oh, shit, please.
37:35Oh, shit, please.
37:36There's still nothing coming through.
37:38Well, you come on down, Dermot.
37:39After all, you're a professional.
37:41No.
37:42Look after the bar for a bit, girl, will you?
37:52No wonder.
37:54Here's your problem.
37:56It's still on clean.
38:00You haven't turned the beer back on.
38:12Lager's back on.
38:14There's four pints of Lager in two.
38:29What's that, Herbert?
38:29Take the barrel's off!
38:38Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen.
38:40Beer's a bit lively tonight.
38:42It's a new German Premier Lager we're testing.
38:45I'll have a word with the manufacturers.
38:47Call back again tomorrow.
38:49Send her out to throw a party over.
38:51No, business as usual tomorrow.
38:52First off, send me the bill for the suit after.
38:53Yes, send me the bill.
38:54Come back tomorrow, first one on the house.
39:03What a disaster.
39:0523 cleaning bills and two of them silk suits.
39:08They're gonna have to imply professional staff.
39:11I can't afford it. You should see my books.
39:13They make very dismal reading.
39:15Well, I mean, it's early days, Arthur.
39:17I mean, you can't expect to make an instant profit.
39:19Oh, I appreciate your point, Toby.
39:21But the problem is, we're flogging the stuff
39:23cheaper than we're buying it in.
39:24Which is unsound business, whichever way you look at it.
39:26Well, look, mate, I mean, the point is,
39:28you've got old Dave wriggling like a...
39:30like a winkle on a pin, eh?
39:33So you just keep your nerve for a few more days, eh?
39:35No, no, I've decided.
39:37Something has to be done.
39:38I'm not sure what, but...
39:40something.
39:47Not bad, Ray. Not bad at all.
39:51I've thought it through.
39:52It won't do.
39:53Rubbish.
39:54Good lick of paint, you look brand new.
39:56I'm talking about you and Dave.
39:59I have nothing to say in the matter.
40:02Sit down.
40:04Beg your pardon?
40:05I said sit down, Arthur!
40:09Now, you listen to me.
40:10I can't watch any more of this nonsense between you and Dave.
40:13You're putting each other out of business.
40:15Now, I've had a talk with Dave and he's prepared to have a meet clear the air.
40:17Never.
40:18Well, you wake up.
40:19You're spending money like water.
40:20I thought you was a businessman, Arthur.
40:23Words cost nothing, Ray.
40:24Now, who said that to me, eh?
40:26All right.
40:27You may tell him that I am amenable to a powwow.
40:32Good man.
40:33But he's got to be on neutral ground.
40:34For goodness sake!
40:35I'll suggest Carlos Trattoria in Putney High Street.
40:40And impress on him it's business only.
40:42Well, Ray, check the place out.
40:44I want to make him an offer he shouldn't refuse.
40:54Would you like some wine with your wine, Ray?
40:58Glass of your house red, please, Carlos.
41:01And you, Mr. Arthur?
41:03I'll keep a clear head.
41:04Very good.
41:05Carlos.
41:06Mr. Dave.
41:07Cancel the wine.
41:09As you wish.
41:12What's on your mind?
41:13A small matter of us cutting each other's throats vis-a-vis the price war that's broken
41:18out between us.
41:19You started it.
41:20The cause is irrelevant.
41:21I'm suggesting a ceasefire.
41:24I'll listen in.
41:24The solution is simple.
41:26Certainly is.
41:27You close your club.
41:28I am perfectly entitled to carve my portion of the market in a liberal democracy.
41:33You have no right to pilfer my trade.
41:35Bickering will get us nowhere.
41:37I suggest we stop the price cutting, knock the cheap membership on the head, and finish
41:41the promotions.
41:42To what end?
41:43A fair fight in the marketplace.
41:45You go your way, I'll go mine.
41:47Let the pundits decide.
41:48And may the best club win.
41:50Fight to the death.
41:51If you've got the stomach for it.
41:59So, do we have a deal?
42:02You're on.
42:08Arthur.
42:08What are you doing in my car?
42:09It's an emergency.
42:10Get in.
42:12Come on, hurry up.
42:39All he is.
42:41Oh my God.
42:43He's got it away with the deposit money and all.
42:45I'm sorry Arthur.
42:47All his gear's gone from the flat too.
42:49Who?
42:50There's no fall like an old fall.
42:54Off you go, son.
42:58Yeah, but...
43:17Arthur?
43:19Of all the bars in all of Wilsdon.
43:22Come to gloat.
43:27Uh, not at all.
43:29Oh, really, very sorry about all this.
43:32I'll have you win, son.
43:39Arthur, don't you think it's time that we got things sorted out?
43:44Yeah.
43:58Oh, sure.
44:08I don't know.
44:10Yeah.
44:10Oh, yeah.
44:12That's not good.
44:12The Rat.
44:14Toby.
44:15The Woolsey. The Escutoise.
44:19Toby.
44:20Well, he's nothing if not a sharp operator, as proven.
44:25Water under the bridge.
44:27Old acquaintance.
44:28Best forgotten.
44:31Arthur, what made you think I was selling your shears in a Winchester?
44:35Oh, no, let's forget about it.
44:37Oh, come on.
44:38No, I'd rather not say.
44:39Tell us Arthur.
44:42Well, you and Jimmy the Jeweler and Mickey Collins sneaking around behind my back.
44:47Very suspect.
44:52Let me in on the joke.
44:54What's it all about?
45:04Ray?
45:05In the back room, Arthur.
45:21Arthur.
45:23Jimmy?
45:24Mickey?
45:24Take his coat, Dave.
45:30We've been hearing stories, Arthur, from Dave.
45:35Disappointing stories that are unworthy of an old backhander.
45:39How long have we known each other, Dave?
45:42Long time, Jimmy.
45:43Long time.
45:44And in all that time, did anyone ever doubt the spirit of the old backhanders?
45:49Never, Jimmy. Never.
45:51What are we going to do with you, Arthur?
45:55What are we going to do with you, Arthur?
45:56It's a shirt-button job, isn't it?
46:06All the old backhanders chipped in.
46:08All but one, Dave?
46:09Yeah, yeah.
46:10Well, that's how this is from Mickey, Jimmy and me.
46:12Oh, you never.
46:14And a bottle of ruby pork from me, Arthur.
46:16Congratulations.
46:17Yeah, and here's the ruby-handled shaving brush you like so much.
46:21And me and Dora are going to take you and the wife out for a night on the town.
46:25Here, come on, Ray. Let's get popping.
46:27Drinks in the bar, everyone.
46:28To Mr. and Mrs. Daley on the occasion of their 40th wedding anniversary.
46:37I hope Arthur's all right.
46:39He's had a bad time with this club.
46:42He's putting a brave face on things, but he's being very quiet.
46:46He'll be all right, Dad, if I know Arthur.
46:49It was 1953.
46:51Edmund was on the top of Everest, a new royal was on the throne,
46:54and her indoors looked like a lovely princess in a white silk dress.
46:58Do you remember that, Mickey?
46:59I had it made up out of that parachute you liberated from the vicar's factory.
47:03Come on, Ray, you passed it. Give us a drink.
47:05All right, it's just coming. Here it is.
47:07There you go.
47:08Lovely. There you are, Mickey.
47:12Gentlemen, back-handers, I'd like to propose a toast.
47:15Absent friends, long may they remain so.
47:18Hear him.
47:19Hear him.
47:20Hear him.
47:22Hear him.
47:23Hear him.
47:23Oh.
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