- 5 hours ago
First broadcast 26th September 1984.
An old friend of Arthurs Ruby Hubbard, an authoress, returns to London to write a new book and to sell her house.
Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Beryl Reid - Ruby Hubbard
Bill Maynard - Barney Todd
John F. Landry - Ronnie Todd (as John Landry)
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Fiona Mollison - Susan Hall
Ivor Roberts - Jack Hodgson
Dot Rubin - Jane Lugg
Nigel Le Vaillant - Andy
Peter Birrel - John Scott
Barry Martin - Tony Strong
David Webb - John Draham
Sara Heliane Elliot - Temp
Erika Hoffman - Faith
Peter Allen - TV Studio worker
Kenneth Coombs - Winchester Club Patron/Hotel Guest
Alan Harris - TV Studio worker
Mike Reynell - Winchester Club Patron
An old friend of Arthurs Ruby Hubbard, an authoress, returns to London to write a new book and to sell her house.
Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Beryl Reid - Ruby Hubbard
Bill Maynard - Barney Todd
John F. Landry - Ronnie Todd (as John Landry)
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Fiona Mollison - Susan Hall
Ivor Roberts - Jack Hodgson
Dot Rubin - Jane Lugg
Nigel Le Vaillant - Andy
Peter Birrel - John Scott
Barry Martin - Tony Strong
David Webb - John Draham
Sara Heliane Elliot - Temp
Erika Hoffman - Faith
Peter Allen - TV Studio worker
Kenneth Coombs - Winchester Club Patron/Hotel Guest
Alan Harris - TV Studio worker
Mike Reynell - Winchester Club Patron
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00you can't beat quiet Sunday drive nice pub lunch nice few brandies nice breathalyzer
00:09walking hamster teeth fresh air you're very lyrical ronnie what you after eh
00:15I invited you out I mean do I have to be after something no but you probably are
00:21I like to see old friends oh dear I don't like the sound of this at all
00:30memory lane eh Arthur yeah had some good times when Barney and Ruby were living here didn't we
00:47a lifetime ago that's a 16 yeah we were young and wild then who are you speak no no I mean I
00:56wouldn't have a pop at anybody who was young and wild would I have long hair and all that did
01:00you don't be ridiculous sex and drugs and rye look when Ruby was married to his dad this house was
01:05alive with learning conversation people from the world of letters and books used to come up for
01:09parties interesting social intercourse on the terrace those sort of parties eh not at all that is just
01:16another way of saying talk well why don't you say talk then they were exciting times anything could
01:22happen certainly happen for Ruby one minute she was Ruby Abbott of oxton next she was Lorraine
01:28masters romantic novelist yeah making a fortune is that why your dad married her yeah he was doing
01:35all right here for a while what happened then she kept catching you with his hands full his hands full of
01:42what other women usually 23 year old dancers from the London Palladium so Barney got booted out the door and
01:49Ruby went to live in Capri and now she's coming back really she's still own this then
01:58Ruby Barney and their solicitor Barney talked to him to forming a company before they bought it
02:06they all own a piece of it nobody can sell out without the others agreeing yeah when she kicked Barney
02:13out he wanted shot of the place but she wouldn't sell well it's just to spite him yeah they've been
02:18letting it on and off since then Ruby's share goes to earn Capri and Barney's goes on anything in
02:24Trapfort to White City always was a mug punter Barney so Ruby's coming home to roost eh no just to write
02:31another book she phoned me yesterday she wants to be met at the airport tomorrow couldn't be worse
02:38for me really I've got a wedding job at half 10. did she know you've been using her roller for wedding
02:43work don't be silly she thinks she's up on blocks in a garage Arthur you remember a couple of months
02:54back I brought you a Georgian dining suite and so far four and a half grand yield three and a half
02:59commissioned me went for a blog in Belgium yeah yeah well he used to stand here Barney asked me to sell
03:07it I sent him the money I haven't seen him since it belonged to Ruby well I thought he owned it
03:15told me he did you meant to say that your dad yeah he made us accessories to a theft oh hi chaps
03:22yeah I'm right behind you Terry Arthur hey Arthur what am I going to tell Ruby Arthur please come for a drive he
03:30says I'll buy lunch he says trip down memory lane you've always been dodgy ever since you were a kid
03:34Arthur what am I going to tell Ruby well I know the truth won't come easy she hates me I mean you know
03:40what stepson stepmother relationships are like I neither know nor care Arthur you're involved in a
03:47theft we acted in good faith we we had nothing to do with me mate Arthur when your name is heard in
03:53connection with yeah well nobody believe in good faith will they when my name is heard you trying
04:00to blackmail me Ronnie Todd no Arthur my life but you have got to help me get the furniture back
04:05from Belgium look can't you replace it Terry furniture doesn't grow on does
04:26well going back to the old writing game eh don't remind me I suppose it'd be quite hard getting back
04:32into it after all these years I know next two or three weeks gonna be no joke believe me I don't
04:40believe it I heard that did you have any doubts about your ability to write again after 15 years
04:47in retirement miss masters oh I did indeed dear you see I'm a hoxton girl with no formal education to
04:55fall back on yeah no furniture to sit on either it was my fans really who prompted me to start
05:02and write again and I'm sure we've quite a few of them here today just a lot of people have been
05:08very supportive now I understand when you lived in England you weren't just a club shady characters
05:13um even criminals it's a hollow daily time Louie Louie Louie Louie pardon Dave no no it's me Terry
05:21where are you I'm at the television studio what do you know you've broken into showbiz have you
05:25no I have not I'm protecting myself I want to make sure Ronnie Todd doesn't tell Ruby I nicked her
05:30furniture or something you're gonna tell her what really happened then of course it's in store
05:35what's in store did Tony strong phone about that mock Georgian yeah yeah three and a half grand
05:41don't phone him back I wish they'd hurry up I got a lot on today she's a nice old lady isn't she
05:47she's talking about the petty criminal she used to know obviously remembers you tell her
05:53I understand that you've received an advance of 20,000 pounds for this book 20 grand I don't know
06:00where that rumor started dear I really don't it's an exaggeration yes well I don't know anything
06:06about these things you see I never get involved in money quite right my dear you're an artist
06:13then how do you manage your financial affairs he's still at it I'm double parked what you wait
06:22in the car on I'll wait for Ruby I don't mind I'm sure you don't mind I'm quite sure I don't mind
06:27you could look after that sort of thing because I'll find it in a way if you can understand
06:33sordid well thank you for talking with us this afternoon Miss Masters and welcome back to England
06:39oh my pleasure welcome home my dear thank you mind her she's a little old lady isn't she who is
06:46writing a book what's she frightened of getting her biro nicked she's writing a book about love
06:51romance and crime so well she wants to research the crime bit you know visit a few drinking clubs
06:57meet a few suspect characters well for she knows you don't she look I told her she needs a mind and
07:02she wants to meet you give her a bit of rabbit about what it's like in prison all that you know they
07:06love that writers I mean don't have to be true it'll all be in a book I'll see you're a writing
07:10expert now are you listen when I met all them literary people back in the 60s Julia March said
07:15I had an honest rustic humor and an eye for a fine tale Julia March said that yeah what they
07:22are you Julia March yeah they've got the famous Julia March never heard of her
07:52aren't you coming in Ruby bugger off what so the car's been up on blocks in the garage has it
08:03what's this then air ribbon and what's this cap for fentanylous party oh Ruby oh get out of my sight
08:13nap off you cheeky little bugger like father like son you get them on bleeding nerves you do
08:20Ruby I can't explain shut up Ronnie she's tumbled you what am I going to do Arthur go and have a lie
08:28done
08:30yeah
08:34yeah
08:35yeah
08:37yeah
08:42The last ten minutes has become just a little bit edgy.
08:45And I think they're feeling in need of another goal to make sure of this game.
08:49And with five minutes to go, Fulham leads 1-0.
08:52What are you doing?
08:53Oh, listening to the football.
08:54Turn it off, turn it off. Come on, she wants to meet you. Tidy yourself up.
08:57What for?
08:58To meet the nice lady. Come on.
09:04What day does it happen to them all?
09:10Ruby?
09:11Ruby?
09:12I'm in here. I'm in the kitchen.
09:18All this clean, Arthur.
09:20I pay a cleaning woman, you know, to come in here three times a week.
09:23Well, it's against their union rules to rub hard.
09:27Oh, Terry will give you a hand.
09:28Will he?
09:29Oh, hello.
09:32Ruby Abbott, Terry McCann.
09:34Nice to meet you.
09:36Yeah, nice to meet you too.
09:38You do very nicely, Arthur.
09:41What time do you make it?
09:43Four o'clock.
09:44Oh, well, I'm on Capri time.
09:46That makes it an hour in advance, you see.
09:49Just cocktail time.
09:50Fancy a couple of quick ones?
09:52Why not?
09:52Come on.
09:52There.
09:53Do you want to get on with a cocktail?
09:54No, that's not all right.
09:55Come on, have a drink.
09:56You're nobody till somebody loves you.
10:04You're nobody till somebody cares.
10:10Oh, Arthur.
10:11Yes.
10:12Hello, Arthur.
10:12This piano wants a bit of tuning.
10:14Oh, don't worry.
10:15I'll have it done for you, Ruby.
10:16Oh, don't you worry either.
10:18You shan't be stopping that long.
10:19Eh?
10:20When the new book comes out, you'll be here all the time, knocking them out wholesale.
10:23No.
10:24Too cold.
10:25Besides, most people I know are dead or in Florida.
10:31Like Julia March.
10:32What a writer, eh, Ruby?
10:33Writer?
10:35She couldn't write home for money.
10:38I said, when's my Georgian furniture coming back, did you say, Arthur?
10:42Oh, yeah, Thursday week, Ruby.
10:44Yeah, yeah.
10:45Blimey, where's the store in it?
10:46Scotland?
10:48Scotland.
10:49Oh, God, Ruby.
10:50Scotland.
10:52All right, all right, all right.
10:53Calm down.
10:54Else you're going to have to be put back in your basket.
10:57It's funny, isn't it?
10:59Now your life rushes by.
11:01Do you know, it only seems two minutes since we was all here together.
11:04Me, Barney, friends, parties.
11:08Happy days, Ruby.
11:10Well, we was going somewhere then.
11:12I certainly thought I was.
11:13Wish you had.
11:16You was involved with Ban the Bomb, wasn't you?
11:19Yeah, yeah.
11:20Him?
11:20Yeah.
11:22Yeah.
11:23You?
11:23Yeah, I was, as a matter of fact.
11:25Used to flog on badgers.
11:26Went like hot cakes during the Cuba missile crisis.
11:29If they hadn't turned them ships back, I could have made a fortune.
11:32When the world sighed with relief at a bottom fell right out of the badge business.
11:36I think I'll flog this place.
11:38I'll go and see Barney and the solicitor and get them to agree to it.
11:42And then I'll get them to dissolve that silly bloody company they made me form.
11:47He said I'd call it Bar-Rube.
11:50Eh?
11:50Barney and Ruby it was.
11:53But mind you, I was earning all the money.
11:55My name should have come first.
11:56Would have been rhubarb then, wouldn't it?
11:59Terry.
12:00What's the new book going to be called, Ruby?
12:03Where's my Georgian furniture?
12:04A whodunit.
12:06I don't know.
12:07Do you want another drink, Terry?
12:09No, not for me, thanks.
12:10No, I've got a, you know.
12:12Oh, I know.
12:13Going off to see your girlfriend, are you?
12:14No, I know.
12:15I know, you young people.
12:17Off you go.
12:18Right.
12:19I don't mind being on me own here.
12:22Funny, Arthur, I never used to feel lonely here, but I...
12:27It's different now.
12:28It seems so cold and empty.
12:30Look, Ruby, if you're nervous, Terry will stay with you till you turn in.
12:34Will he?
12:34Of course he will.
12:35No, he won't.
12:36Yes, he will.
12:36That's very kind of you.
12:38He's a very kind lad.
12:39No, I'm not.
12:40Yes, you are.
12:41What, you can stay the night.
12:43But I haven't got me razor.
12:45Don't worry.
12:47I'll give you one.
12:50Cupboard full of memories here, you know, Terry.
12:56There we are.
12:57Open that.
12:58I locked it all away, you know, before I went to Capri.
13:01I bought that.
13:03The Barney's Christmas stocking.
13:071964, it was.
13:08I bought this for meself.
13:14There.
13:14That's pretty, isn't it?
13:16Yeah.
13:16What's this?
13:18A gun?
13:19Oh, look at that.
13:20Oh, no.
13:24We were going to spend a quiet Christmas Eve together.
13:28I can remember sitting, waiting for him,
13:31listening to the bells in Hampstead Church.
13:35Got back at five in the morning.
13:37He said the car had broken down, again.
13:42Drink on his breath, mascara on his shirt, again.
13:47Of course, I've done all his shirts for him then, you know, Terry.
13:50Turnbull and Asser.
13:52They'd stand any amount of scrubbing on the collars.
13:54If it had been any other night, I'd have just ignored it.
13:58But, I mean, if Christmas doesn't mean anything, well...
14:02Here, have that.
14:05A bit.
14:06No, no, I couldn't do that.
14:07Oh, go on.
14:09Things don't mean anything, really.
14:13And, isn't Terry, you don't have to stay.
14:16I know you don't want to.
14:18No, no, no, it's not that.
14:20I mean, I don't really mind.
14:21You're a very kind young man.
14:25You can sleep in the guest room.
14:27All right, then.
14:31Thank you very much.
14:36Hey, Terry, what's your favourite breakfast?
14:39Oh, I don't know.
14:39I eat anything.
14:40Well, you tell me and we'll get it for you.
14:44Is that what you tell your joke?
14:46It's clean.
14:47Yeah, all right.
14:47Go on.
14:48Well, there was this elf, you see,
14:51and it was sitting on a toad's stall.
14:53Hiya, Arthur.
14:54How's your luck?
14:55Sparse, Dave, sparse.
14:57Hello, mate.
14:58Ronnie Todd, fam.
15:00From a long way away, I hope.
15:01Give us a VAT, Dave.
15:02Oh, yeah.
15:03Did Tony Strong ring?
15:04No.
15:05No, of course he didn't.
15:06What you got there?
15:07What you doing?
15:08Thinking Georgian.
15:10Uh, yeah, well, uh,
15:11old Ruby's a bit concerned about all that, as it happens.
15:13Old Ruby?
15:14You make her sound like a bottle of port.
15:17It's like this.
15:18Look, look, look.
15:19She give me this.
15:19It's cashmere.
15:20Ah, you're doing all right there, then.
15:22Yeah.
15:22You're staying there every night.
15:24Well, I don't know, really.
15:25She does get a bit nervous on her own, though.
15:28You know, I've got some energy, though, haven't she?
15:30Yeah, she does half a bottle of vodka a night,
15:32and she's up at seven the next morning
15:33cleaning the kitchen floor.
15:47You're late, Terry.
15:48Oh, no, the traffic was murder.
15:50Hello, Ruby.
15:50What are you doing here?
15:51I'm looking after you, Ruby.
15:53I thought I'd liaise with your publisher and all that, you know.
15:55Well, I hope you enjoy it.
15:56Me and Terry's got somewhere to go.
16:00Bye-bye.
16:01I know it's the draft manuscript by the end of the month.
16:14Of course, it's a bit swift, isn't it?
16:15Well, I did say they could have it at the end of last month, but what with this and that, and now he says he's sending a secretary round to help out.
16:25I told him.
16:27I told him.
16:28I said, it's not like the old days, you know, one book a month.
16:31It's not easy for me anymore, not easy at all.
16:35I thought they'd give me a bit of time, you know, make a bit of a fuss of me, get me a few chat shows.
16:45You've done a chat show?
16:46One's not enough.
16:51Had to get that myself.
16:53Rang up three times before they remembered who I was.
16:59The blue room at the Regency was just...
17:04Sorry?
17:05I'm working, Terry.
17:07Oh.
17:08Was just as Louise had remembered it.
17:11She'd spent three happy days there with Silvio the summer before.
17:18His wife had been dead for almost two years, during which time she had nursed his two tiny children, Emil and Maria.
17:29She'd seen him change from the powerful Adonis that every woman desired but only one possessed,
17:37to the shy, nervous man, whose life seemed to be almost over.
17:45I'm having the beef.
18:00Oh, Silvio's getting on all right with Louise, isn't he?
18:02Oh, that's the calm before the storm.
18:05She meets Alex soon.
18:07Alex is a well-known London criminal.
18:17Ah!
18:22Oh, my God, they've nicked the lot!
18:25I'll phone the police.
18:26Here, hang on.
18:28Phone the press first.
18:29Where you been? I've been ringing you all day.
18:47What's wrong?
18:48Wrong.
18:49Who, Nick, Ruby's furniture?
18:50You and me?
18:51Not the Georgia and all the rest of it.
18:54I've no idea.
18:55Everything except the kitchen gear has gone.
18:58I'm supposed to be at a function and I'm not, so I'm arranging for beds to be sent over to her.
19:01You swear you know nothing?
19:03No!
19:04No, Arthur, my life!
19:06You really got me into something you have.
19:08I've had Terry driving around in a roller with a heater on to keep her warm.
19:11And I'm late for my function all because I'm playing Mr Nice Guy.
19:13Thank goodness me Georgian furniture's in store.
19:18I never liked that other stuff much, you know.
19:21Barney got it off of some bloke he knew.
19:24What time is it?
19:266.30.
19:27Oh, time for a refill.
19:31Here, I'll tell you what, Terry.
19:34Louise could have her furniture stolen and then Alex could find out who took it.
19:42Yeah, that's an idea, isn't it?
19:43Yeah.
19:43Yeah, that way she'd be in his debt, wouldn't she?
19:46Oh, obligated to him.
19:48So she'd probably want to stay with him or something like that.
19:51Hmm.
19:52Yeah, we'll use that.
19:53Then Silvio could come round on a visit.
19:59He's tall and blonde, you know.
20:02Who, Silvio?
20:03No.
20:04The fellow in the garden.
20:07Come on.
20:08I think you've had enough of that, don't you?
20:10I'm not drunk, Terry.
20:11No, I know you're not drunk, but Silvio's only in the book, isn't he?
20:16I'm talking about the bloke out there.
20:25All right, somebody, come on, what's your game?
20:27Oh, hi.
20:27I'm Andy.
20:29Yeah, I'm a bit tasty myself, son.
20:31Are you and the old lady squatting?
20:33Do what?
20:34Oh, it doesn't matter.
20:35We're not moving in for at least a couple of weeks.
20:37We moved the furniture out because...
20:39Moving in?
20:40The new divine light movement.
20:43We've bought the place.
20:55I don't believe it.
20:56It's not true.
20:56It is bleeding through.
20:57Barney sold the gaff.
20:59Oh, my God.
20:59What's that?
21:05Divine light movement.
21:06Divine light movement?
21:07I don't believe it.
21:08I'm supposed to be at a function.
21:11Ruby.
21:14I'm going to get you a nice old drink.
21:15Oh, Tar.
21:16Not you.
21:18I'm supposed to be at a function.
21:20I couldn't believe it.
21:20How could he, Arthur?
21:24How could he?
21:27I didn't think it hated me so much.
21:30Have you called the police?
21:32No.
21:32Oh, good, good.
21:33It's the best thing you could do.
21:37Arthur.
21:43Oh, listen.
21:44Were you around here the other night?
21:45Oh, yes.
21:46The old lady saw me.
21:47I was a bit nervous about coming in, actually.
21:49I thought I might frighten her.
21:50Yeah, I thought she'd gone potty.
21:52Yeah, you're about six foot, aren't you?
21:53Blonde, strong, square jaw.
21:55Yeah.
21:56Right.
21:57You're just like Sylvia.
22:02Why don't you talk to your solicitor first?
22:05Well, because he's involved in it.
22:08Don't you understand anything?
22:10You see, me, Barney, and the solicitor
22:13was all equal partners in the company.
22:17They've diddled me, Arthur.
22:19They've done me out of everything.
22:21Here you go, Rube.
22:22Drink that up.
22:23What is it?
22:24Oh, chocolate.
22:25Oh, no, thank you.
22:27Come on, it'll help me sleep.
22:29I'll be sick.
22:30You won't be sick.
22:31Now, come on, drink it up.
22:33It's a good girl.
22:33Oh, that's horrible.
22:36Oh, that's horrible.
22:38Oh, God.
22:42Note.
22:44Louise visits her aunt, who has been robbed,
22:49and Alex may help to find the stuff.
22:52Something like that.
22:54It's fraud, isn't it?
22:58Fraud.
22:59That's what he's up for.
23:0160 years old, and he has to turn to something like that.
23:05I can't protect him if the police get hold of it.
23:07Why did he do it, Arthur?
23:11Why?
23:12Because he's a crook.
23:13Arthur!
23:14He's a child.
23:16Big ideas.
23:17Dreams.
23:18He could never bear being locked up.
23:22And I can't afford a good lawyer for him.
23:25The advance is practically gone.
23:28Gone?
23:29Well, I did have it five months ago.
23:32Now I've got this damn book to write.
23:35I mean, I was good to him.
23:38I looked after him.
23:40He had everything he wanted with me,
23:43except the chorus line at the London Bloody Palladium.
23:47He couldn't get enough of that, bastard.
23:51I'll have him for every penny.
23:53$150,000-odd, my share.
23:56Must be for a place like this.
23:58All right, Ruby, come on, come on.
23:59Calm down.
24:00Arthur's going to help you.
24:01Eh?
24:02Well, you're going to find Barney, aren't you?
24:03My name is Arthur Daly, not Philip Marlowe.
24:06Yeah, but you're going to find Barney, aren't you?
24:08Yeah, yeah, I'll do.
24:11If I do get the money back, Ruby,
24:13would there be a percentage?
24:15You wouldn't find me.
24:17I'm grateful, Arthur.
24:18You leave it to me, Ruby.
24:20You're in very good hands.
24:22Thanks.
24:28Can I help you?
24:37Mr. Dalyham.
24:39He's away.
24:40I thought he might be.
24:42Any idea when, if, he's coming back?
24:46He's in Spain.
24:47Of course he is.
24:49Where all the funny money goes.
24:50Why it was Al all the time
25:01Why don't you remember
25:05I'm your pal
25:09Hello?
25:24Hello.
25:25I'm Susan Hall.
25:26Mr. Scott, the publisher, sent me.
25:28I'm going to be working with Miss Masters.
25:30Oh, yeah?
25:32I'm Terry McCann.
25:34I'm her minder.
25:36Oh, yeah.
25:37I rang the bell
25:39but, er, I asked him
25:41if there was anyone in
25:41but, um, he, he didn't seem to notice.
25:44No, he was probably a bit busy.
25:46Humming.
25:52Hello, hello, hello.
25:54The first of day, Terry.
25:56I should hope so and all.
25:58Well, honest, it is.
26:00Come on, I don't mind.
26:03It's just that I'm,
26:04I hate being chastised.
26:06I wasn't chastising you.
26:07I thought I was having a little joke.
26:08Was that the secretary?
26:09Yeah, up under in the front room.
26:11Ta-da!
26:12Got you those.
26:13Thought they might cheer you up.
26:17I can't write it, Terry.
26:19Of course you can.
26:22Well, you've done it before, haven't you?
26:24Well, it's just like riding a bike, innit?
26:26No.
26:30No, this chap, John Graham.
26:31Very dodgy character.
26:33Swindled at children's charity once.
26:35What?
26:36Nothing proved, of course.
26:38Yes, he's sailed very close to the window
26:39on several occasions.
26:41What, he's taking them all the way to Spain this time?
26:44Look, Jack, I know it's a sore point,
26:45but you being a bit of an expert on fraud,
26:48how would you suggest I go about
26:49finding Barney and this geezer, Drayton?
26:51Well, if he'd gone to Spain for good,
26:53I should forget it.
26:54On the other hand,
26:55a search at a company's house
26:57might turn something up.
26:59You've got to know what you're looking for, of course.
27:01Forty quid would secure my services
27:03for the day, Arthur.
27:05You're on.
27:06But no detours to the Black Swan.
27:08I want this in Harry.
27:09Trust me, Arthur.
27:11Everybody wants me to trust them.
27:12There you go.
27:13Many thanks.
27:14Spain, yes.
27:16Yes, well,
27:17could be a property deal therein' two.
27:19Could be involved in timesharing.
27:23There will be if they ever come back over here.
27:27Very drunk, Jack.
27:29Very drunk.
27:33Has Arthur come up with anything, then?
27:37It's only been a couple of days, aren't it?
27:39Bit surprised if he was in with them.
27:41They're all chances.
27:42Ah, be fair, Ruby.
27:45Don't mind working evenings, do you, dear?
27:47Oh, no.
27:48It's frightfully interesting for me.
27:49Wish it was for me.
27:51Louise gazed out
27:56at a London that she no longer knew.
28:02Silvio ran his fingers through his hair
28:04and pressed his foot hard down on the accelerator.
28:09Their private jet was waiting.
28:12He wanted to be out of there.
28:14I'm not disturbing your love life, eh, my dear?
28:19But you'll be taking this down in shorthand as well, won't you?
28:23Sorry.
28:25She had dreamed of private jets,
28:28a home in the sunshine and the power of wealth.
28:33But as she looked at the harsh landscape,
28:36which had once been her home,
28:39she realised she had lost more than she had gained.
28:43Her tears were not, as Silvio thought,
28:47for that London criminal,
28:49Alex McCann.
28:53But for what she had lost,
28:55hope, innocence and a home.
29:00Don't mind me calling McCann, do you, Terry?
29:03No, no, no, no.
29:04What happens to him?
29:05I wish I knew.
29:10Hello, Ron.
29:11Got a minute.
29:12Jack Hodgson.
29:14Ron Todd.
29:15Good afternoon.
29:15Well, how does it feel to be a director
29:22of Suntour Investments Limited, eh, Ron?
29:24Pardon?
29:25I'll give you pardon.
29:27You, Ron Todd, have been giving me a right run around.
29:29Me?
29:30Put your hands up.
29:31You've been tumbled.
29:33You, Barney, and that bent brief, John Dreyham,
29:36conspired to diddle Ruby Hubbard
29:37out more than under a grand.
29:39Jack sorted out the old deal.
29:42A company called Bar-Rube
29:43set up another company called
29:45Suntour.
29:47Ron Todd replaces Ruby as director.
29:50But she don't know that.
29:51He forges her signature,
29:53and then the directors of Bar-Rube flog her house.
29:56The money goes to Suntour
29:57and is then lent to another company,
29:59Suntrip,
30:00for a property deal in Spain.
30:02More than a third of that money
30:03was fraudulently acquired.
30:05You are nicked.
30:07Now, be careful, Arthur.
30:09I mean, you flogged stolen Georgian furniture.
30:13I mean...
30:13My pal.
30:15You get on the phone, Jack.
30:16Ask to speak to Inspector...
30:17No!
30:18Please.
30:20Don't.
30:27Hi.
30:28Hi what?
30:29I hope you don't mind me asking.
30:32But I was wondering if you'd care to know more about Divine Light.
30:35Eh?
30:35Everyone gives their time for free.
30:37We donate 10% of our incomes.
30:40In your case, I suppose that'd be 10% of sod all.
30:44Divine Light lawyers will probably want to talk to you soon
30:46about your being here.
30:49Do you know when you'll be going yet?
30:51Terry?
30:51Terry?
30:52Yeah?
30:53Do you want scrambled eggs for your tea?
30:55Ah.
30:55Yes, please.
30:56Oh, yes, please.
30:58Mm-hmm.
31:00Mm-hmm.
31:19Ronnie?
31:22Arthur Daly, isn't it?
31:23Barney?
31:25Anything to declare?
31:30Oh, yes, the smiling assassin.
31:41I, erm...
31:45Oh, I can't get this right.
31:49Silvio's hot, passionate breath
31:52was getting right up Louise's nose
31:54that dank, stormy evening
31:56down the Dog and Bucket in Camden Town.
31:59You should take up writing.
32:01Oh, there's a lot of my own stuff in this, you know.
32:03I mean, that stuff in the billiardall, all pure McCann.
32:06Yeah, she's stuck again, isn't she?
32:08Yeah.
32:09See, the problem is getting Louise away from Alex
32:12without Silvio putting too much pressure on.
32:14What you want, really, about Chapter 12, 13, something like that,
32:18is for Alex to do something that makes him look like the right slag he is,
32:21and that Silvio's the right person, you know.
32:24And you're a professional bodyguard?
32:25Yeah.
32:26When I'm not doing woman's hour.
32:28Does she know I'm back yet?
32:33Like I said, I'm prepared to keep my mouth shut for a few days
32:36while you get her money together.
32:37Arthur, this is not pennies and apenies, you know.
32:40It's international finance, big money.
32:42Big stolen money.
32:44That's not strictly true, Mr. Daly.
32:46Who threw you a biscuit?
32:47I've got the SP on you, my son.
32:49Fiddling money from a kid's charity.
32:52Disgusting.
32:53He did what?
32:54There was nothing illegal about that transaction?
32:56No, there was something illegal about forgery, though.
32:58Look, Arthur, if some city geezer in her flesh did this,
33:02it'd be called good business.
33:03We do it, it's called fraud.
33:04I mean, is that just, Arthur, I put it to you?
33:06I'm not here to argue morals.
33:07No, no, that's not really in your line, is it?
33:10I'm here to protect the interests of my client.
33:13He wants a bung, I told you he did.
33:15Never mind a bung.
33:16What about the Georgian furniture?
33:17You found some?
33:18I know where some similar to Georgian can be found, yes.
33:22Which means it's not really Georgian.
33:23Well, there isn't all that much left, is there?
33:25When the Georgians didn't spend all their lives knocking out furniture,
33:28they'd have to worry about the plague and disease and all that.
33:31Oh, leave off, Arthur.
33:32All right, come on, how much?
33:34Five grand.
33:35Five? You're a robber.
33:36Inflation.
33:37Inflation?
33:38That's extortion.
33:39Hang on, does that buy your silence?
33:43I suppose most of the money's in Spain now, is it?
33:46I really don't think that's any of your business.
33:48Yeah, half of it is.
33:50We had to show good faith.
33:51Yeah, that can't have been easy.
33:53No, I'm sorry, I do not trust foreigners.
33:56You owe Ruby more than a hundred grand.
33:58Arthur, there is a fortune waiting to be made in Spain.
34:01Not with Ruby, not with the books.
34:03She ain't gonna write no more bestsellers, believe me.
34:05She only just got through them the first time.
34:07I mean, I had to come up with most of the plots myself.
34:09Get off.
34:10Arthur, she'd worked it in, I'll give you that, but plots was down to me.
34:14I mean, I've had a bit more experience in the world of love and romance than what she had.
34:18Yeah, at the London Palladium.
34:20Yeah, and the Prince of Wales.
34:22Look, the point is, Arthur, I mean, you'd be better off just keeping your mouth quiet and joining us in a few quid.
34:30Of course, there is another way.
34:32He could hardly blow the whistle if we didn't let him out of this room.
34:36Kept him here for three days.
34:40You go in raving mad?
34:42What did you say?
34:43Ignore him. He's...
34:44My boy Terry would have your arms off.
34:46He didn't mean it, Arthur.
34:48You come here, threatening. We are businessmen.
34:51I've never heard a light in all my life.
34:53I'm sorry, I cannot deal.
34:54Arthur, think about it.
34:55I'm shocked.
34:56Arthur, please.
34:57Bloody shocked.
35:00Do you know, Drayham, if you had a brain, you'd be an half-wit.
35:04What have you got, Terry?
35:06Two nurses in a Riviera car crash meet two playboys.
35:10A millionaire with a sick daughter.
35:12Yeah.
35:13And property tycoon falls in love with a nurse.
35:16I have some more cards.
35:20Why don't we use a detective?
35:23I mean, you know, something like American Cop comes to London, something like that.
35:28No, no.
35:29That other idea you had was favourite.
35:31Yeah, but I mean, detectives sell books, you know.
35:33I mean, there's a detective in everything you read, isn't there?
35:37What have you got, Susan?
35:38Well, I think I've won, actually.
35:39Policewoman meets and falls in love with Crook.
35:40Oh!
35:41That's good, girl.
35:42That's smashing, yeah.
35:43I remember that.
35:44That was in an Italian newspaper, you know.
35:45Yeah, we could use that.
35:46I mean, Alex could, like, meet her on a raid, something like that.
35:50Yeah.
35:51Me and Barney used to do this for hours, you know, with the cards.
35:53He'd come up with the idea.
35:54I mean, if everyone was short of something for a book, he'd get the cards out.
35:59And, you know, it was my eighth novel, I remember.
36:03It was called Highland Fling, a Scottish romance, you know, Susan.
36:05And I remember it was called Highland Fling.
36:07A Scottish romance, you know, Susan.
36:10And I remember, you know, you know, I remember it was my eighth novel.
36:14It was an Italian newspaper, you know.
36:16Yeah, we could use that.
36:17I mean, Alex could, like, meet her on a raid, something like that.
36:20Yeah.
36:21Me and Barney used to do this for hours, you know.
36:23And I remember Barney said...
36:25Hi.
36:26Hi.
36:27Hi.
36:28This is Faith.
36:29She's staying with me.
36:31They're moving in.
36:33Can't wait, can you?
36:36My lovely house.
36:39Bastard Barney Todd.
36:42He sold me out.
36:44I can't believe it.
36:47I can't believe it.
36:53Furniture money.
36:56Barney says you're still a robber, but maybe you'll be a quiet one.
37:00Oh, don't let me keep you.
37:02Well, don't I get a drink?
37:04Yeah, you get them over there.
37:10What kept you?
37:11A queue in the saloon bar at the Black Swan.
37:14So sorry.
37:15Look, Jack.
37:16I've been working out how many pesetas to the pound.
37:19And it's quite a lot, you know.
37:20Really?
37:21Yeah, look.
37:22Supposing I wanted to shift the summer money, let's say five grand, to, um...
37:27Well, let's just say Spain, for instance.
37:30I mean, how would I go...
37:31Oh dear, they haven't roped you in, have they?
37:33No.
37:34Why?
37:35Well, the land they bought in Spain, you know who.
37:41It's a swamp.
37:42Yeah, but that, that, that Drayham geezer, I mean, he's a solicitor.
37:46I mean, shouldn't he look into swamps?
37:48Greed makes men blind, Arthur.
37:50Eh?
37:51Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
37:53Yeah, but I mean, at the present rate of exchange, it must be...
37:55You weren't thinking of going in with them, will you?
37:57No, no, no, no, no.
37:58Oh, no, no, no.
37:59Are you sure?
38:01They've been done for a hundred grand.
38:08All right, Ron?
38:10Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
38:16Now, he does want it, doesn't he?
38:18Yeah, yeah, I've got half the dough here.
38:20Because first he phones, says he's got the cash and wants the stuff.
38:23Then he phones back and said he needs the money for something else.
38:26Here you are, here you are.
38:28Yeah.
38:31The chairs won't be finished till Friday.
38:32I can deliver at the weekend.
38:33All right for you?
38:34Yeah, any time's all right for me, yeah.
38:36It's Georgian.
38:37Yeah.
38:38George made it last week.
38:43I thought you would have legged it.
38:45My age.
38:46I don't want to go inside, Arthur.
38:47I should be worth half a million quid today.
38:51I was never going to rob her, you know.
38:53I just wanted to borrow her share as working capital.
38:55Well, thank God you didn't shift it all abroad.
38:57You'd be talking to Interpol now, not me.
38:59It's partly her fault.
39:00If she wasn't determined to hang on to the house,
39:02I wouldn't have had to do her done any of this.
39:04I told Drea what was willing to bring her in on the deal.
39:06I mean, she'd have made a nice bit of purse out of it if it worked.
39:10Well, the irony is, Barney, she wants to sell the house.
39:13Oh, no.
39:14Don't tell me that, Arthur.
39:15Have you, er, brought the, um...
39:18Oh.
39:21Here.
39:22You'd better pay for the breakfast.
39:23I haven't got anything smaller than that.
39:25114,000.
39:26She hasn't lost a penny.
39:28And you saved her stamp duty on the house.
39:30Well, it's just a joke, Barney.
39:32There's people out there making millions every day, bent and straight.
39:37But not Barney Todd.
39:38I thought at 62 I'd finally cracked it.
39:41Yeah, well.
39:42The game's just about up anyway.
39:44The old ticket, you know.
39:46It's only a matter of time.
39:47Leave off.
39:48It's the truth, Arthur.
39:50I should have played fair and square with Ruby the first time around.
39:54He don't get any second chances, not at my time of life.
39:58I, er, I don't suppose you could help me out with Ruby, could you, Arthur?
40:04Just for old time's sake.
40:05Would you help me?
40:06Well, you know I wouldn't.
40:10Well, she's still got a soft spot for you, you know.
40:12You think?
40:13I'll think about it.
40:15Mmm.
40:16Don't hum, dear.
40:17Goes right through me.
40:19Phew.
40:26Here you look.
40:28Well, that's that.
40:35This book's gonna put you right back on top, Ruby.
40:37Is it?
40:38I think we've done very, very well.
40:40The book's done.
40:41I got all your money back for you.
40:42And I'm sure you're satisfied with Terry's services.
40:45Oh, very, yeah.
40:47Well, I, I think we should have a, a closer business relationship when you start the next book.
40:53I mean, anyone who can get money out of a man like Barney can sort anything out for you.
40:58He tried every trick in the book.
41:00Said he hadn't got long to live.
41:02Art condition.
41:03I said, the only condition you've got, old son, is...
41:05He said what?
41:07Ah, don't swallow it, Ruby.
41:09You know him.
41:10He's an old schmoozer.
41:11Nah, he knew he'd lost all right.
41:13He's staying with Ronnie.
41:14He'll land on his feet, as usual.
41:16I said to him.
41:17I said, Barney, you are not cut out for big business.
41:20You always do everything wrong.
41:22Now, me.
41:23I mean, I, for instance.
41:24Aye, aye, aye.
41:25Me, me, me.
41:26That's what we're bleeding here from you, innit?
41:27Eh?
41:28All right, Barney's a bit dodgy, but so are you, sunshine.
41:31And he's an old man.
41:32So either shut up or get out and walk.
41:34Oh.
41:46You want to liaise with my publisher?
41:48Give him that.
41:49Right.
41:53And now, Barney, it's up to you.
42:04Oh, fine pickle you got yourself into, didn't you?
42:07That is true.
42:08You've got it.
42:16You haven't come to gloat, have you, Ruby?
42:18Well, you know me better than that, don't you?
42:20Yeah, yeah, I suppose so.
42:22How have you been?
42:23Oh, I'm very well, Barney.
42:25I mean, everything's fine with me.
42:27You must hate me by now.
42:29You've got every reason.
42:31There's no goose beating about the bush, I suppose.
42:34At least I'm man enough to admit that I did flog your house behind your back.
42:37Well, you can hardly deny it, could you?
42:39Oh, that's right.
42:41That is correct.
42:42And I don't hate anybody.
42:45What's your date?
42:47Oh, chill.
42:48Half an hour, have you?
42:49No, no, I haven't seen him since yesterday when Ruby threw him out the roller.
42:52What's the Bentley's point of view?
42:54Not many.
42:55How's the book going?
42:56It's all done.
42:57It's all finished.
42:58Yeah, smashing.
42:59I think there's a bit of romance in here, you know.
43:01What, half for a Ruby?
43:02No, no, no, no, no.
43:03Ruby and Barney.
43:04Yeah, she spent four hours with him yesterday and she's gone back to see him again this afternoon.
43:07Well, it is a churn up.
43:09Why is life so unfair?
43:11I give in, why is life so unfair?
43:14Personal management to Ruby's up the spell.
43:16What Barney said is quite true.
43:18She can't write without him.
43:19This wonderful book we've all been waiting for.
43:21You know what she's gone and done?
43:22What's that?
43:23Rewritten Lady at the Window.
43:25Well, that's an old book.
43:26Exactly.
43:27That was her first book.
43:29What's up?
43:30Lost your license.
43:31Don't you serve drinks anymore?
43:32Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
43:33Come in.
43:34Does that mean you're buying?
43:36Certainly not.
43:37Have you seen the doctor about this thing?
43:40Who told you about that?
43:42Arthur Daly.
43:43Uh, Lemon.
43:44I begged him not to.
43:46Oh.
43:47Back me a coat up, you'll catch him.
43:50What are you going to do about it?
43:52Probably put my name down for an old people's home.
43:55Oh, stop it.
43:56I don't even know.
43:57I'll be all right.
43:58I've got a few interesting business ventures, you know.
44:01What?
44:02Well, business, like, you know.
44:08How's the book?
44:09Best thing I've ever done.
44:11It's my story, you know.
44:13Yeah, well, some of the stories I've come up with
44:16wasn't all that much but, were they?
44:18I don't know.
44:19I've got 14 books out of three of your ideas.
44:23I know.
44:25Mind you, they've still got to be written.
44:27Oh, yeah.
44:28I agree.
44:29My writing dodges is a tricky one, isn't it?
44:31Oh.
44:36I, uh...
44:37What?
44:38I'm...
44:39I'm really glad you're a successor, you know.
44:42Yes.
44:43Yes, I...
44:44I am.
44:49You've got many friends in Caprini?
44:51Oh, hundreds.
44:52Right, you've got the lot, then, haven't you?
44:54Everything you've ever worked for.
44:55We had everything, Barney, and you chucked it away.
44:58Oh, yeah.
44:59Married to the successful, attractive writer Lorraine Masters.
45:04Reflected glory.
45:05That's all I ever had, Ruby.
45:06No.
45:07It's true, gal.
45:08I mean, I know I was just an East End lad ready for anything that fell off the back of a barrow, but I did help you a lot in the early days.
45:15I never said you didn't.
45:16You never said I did, either.
45:18You were so busy looking after your career, you didn't have time for me.
45:21That's why I started messing about.
45:24Well, it's all history, innit?
45:27Anyway, I'm...
45:28I really am glad you're a successor again, girl.
45:32I hope you'll be very happy.
45:34I am.
45:35I'm...
45:38I'm...
45:39I'm very, very happy.
45:44I give you Ruby.
45:45Ruby.
45:46Cheers.
45:48Here's to another Lorraine Masters success.
45:51Yeah, yeah.
45:52Well, when are we publishing, then?
45:53Oh, er, a few months.
45:55My publisher never tells me nothing, no.
45:58Terry, come here.
46:00What's talk to you?
46:01I understand you sold Ruby's car for her.
46:04Yeah, why?
46:05Do you want to buy a motor?
46:06No, no.
46:07I'm just a poor publisher.
46:09Dear Ruby.
46:10Dear's a word, innit?
46:12She's cost you a few extra, Bob.
46:14Do you think she knows what she's done?
46:16You mean rewritten her first novel?
46:18Yeah.
46:19No, I don't think she does.
46:20So what will you do?
46:21Get the advance back off her?
46:22Oh, no, she keeps the advance.
46:24Keeps it?
46:25Oh, how?
46:26That's not an original idea, Mr Scott.
46:28What is these days?
46:30Books, TV, cinema, it's all the same.
46:33The fact that this is the same as her first book makes no difference.
46:37It's called Formula Romance.
46:39Did Ronnie say where he'd gone?
46:41No, he just said Barney had gone away.
46:44I left your letter.
46:46Run away?
46:47As soon as he met some dancing girl again.
46:50Well, it's back home to Capri for me, then.
46:53Could be worse, couldn't it, eh?
46:55Your taxi, Miss Masters.
46:56Oh, call me Ruby, love.
46:59I won't bite you.
47:02I'm glad I saw him, Terry.
47:04I mean, I thought I'd give him hell for a little while,
47:07and then we'd have a few smashing years in the sunshine.
47:10But, of course, life's not all violinists and pigeons, is it?
47:14And it never finishes up like those soppy stories I write.
47:23There you go, that's the lock.
47:25There you go, Ruby.
47:26Thanks.
47:27Ruby!
47:28I've got your note.
47:30Ronnie said you'd gone away.
47:32Yeah, I did sort of.
47:34This fellow I know had a greyhound running down in...
47:36I don't want to hear it!
47:38Arthur, you always pack me off home if you get sick of it.
47:40Yeah, I probably will.
47:44Where do you want this furniture, Arthur?
47:46Is that me Georgians?
47:47Uh, yeah, Ruby.
47:48Sell it for me, Arthur.
47:50I'll do my best.
47:51Must be worth all the three grand, Ruby.
47:52Three? I'll give you five, you robber.
47:54I'll do my best, Barney. Trust me.
47:58Here you mind these girls.
47:59Oh, there you go.
48:01Ta-da!
48:02On the other side.
48:03Bye-bye.
48:09Someone must love that Barney Todd.
48:12Who needs publishing when you can sell the same furniture three times?
48:15Call me a sentimentalist, but I love an happy ending.
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