- 2 days ago
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00:07There you go, Judge.
00:08Thank you, Klawicki.
00:11What the hell is this?
00:14Something new.
00:15I call it chicken Klawicki.
00:17You'll love it.
00:19I ordered meatloaf.
00:21I couldn't get it away from the cat.
00:26Klawicki, why do I bother ordering from you?
00:28You only bring me what you want me to eat.
00:31I don't take care of you, Judge.
00:33You're my favorite customer.
00:34I'm the only customer who can raise your rent.
00:38That has nothing to do with it.
00:39I like you because you're fun.
00:41You take one bite of my chicken Klawicki.
00:44You don't love it.
00:45It's on the house.
00:54So, how is it?
00:57It's free.
01:00Boy, do I love English.
01:02I am doing so great in English.
01:05You want a sentence diagram?
01:06You want a verb conjugated?
01:08Find this.
01:09I am reading epic poetry.
01:11I'm reading classic literature.
01:13I'm positive I'm going to get an A in English.
01:15That'll come in handy, Nicole.
01:17Yeah.
01:17English is one of the top five languages in this town.
01:24Hey, Nick.
01:24Nick.
01:25Hey.
01:26I'm glad you're so excited about school.
01:28I mean, I don't want you to feel pressured into getting an A in everything.
01:31I mean, the important thing is that you enjoy what you're learning, or else you won't remember it.
01:35That's very good advice, Joe.
01:38Now, change your mind completely.
01:39What?
01:41Deficiency notice.
01:42Your child has not participated in a class assignment and has received a failing grade.
01:50Boy, this takes me back.
01:54This is me, Nicole Bradford.
01:56Cute, huh?
01:57This is my dad.
01:58And this is my dad.
02:00How'd I get two dads?
02:01They inherited me.
02:02Congratulations.
02:03It's a girl.
02:05Here's the judge who brought us together.
02:06She lives in our building.
02:07My building.
02:08I own it.
02:09She's going to make sure we're one big happy family, with one dad who's down to earth,
02:13and one dad with his head in the clouds.
02:16I think we're father of the year.
02:18You can count on me, no matter what you do.
02:23You can count on me, no matter where you go.
02:28I'm standing by your side, I'll be right behind.
02:32No one loves you more than I do.
02:35Put your hand in mine.
02:38You can count on me, no matter what you do.
02:43You can count on me, no matter where you go.
02:48You can count on me.
03:01You're getting an F.
03:02You're failing something.
03:03Nicole, do better.
03:04Oh, that's your advice?
03:05Do better?
03:05I will.
03:06That's your answer.
03:07I will.
03:07Do better, I will.
03:10Michael, she got an A in English.
03:11She got an F in something else.
03:12She broke even.
03:13That's a good day.
03:15Maybe at the track, Joe.
03:16Maybe if we aspire to send her to trifecta tech.
03:20Honey, you can't just do well in English.
03:22Every subject's important.
03:23You have to do well in every subject.
03:25Now, which one are you failing?
03:27Art.
03:29Art?
03:31Honey, do better.
03:36You're failing art?
03:37How can you fail art?
03:38Did you use too much yellow on something?
03:41Hey, you can't even grade art.
03:43I mean, art's something that you look at, and maybe you like it, maybe you don't.
03:46Who is this Miss Spielhaus?
03:48I don't like her name.
03:49How do you like that?
03:50I'll tell you, I don't like her signature.
03:52I don't think I like this whole letter.
03:53I don't think I like her whole attitude.
03:55So, you know what?
03:56You know what you ought to do?
03:57Take this back to Miss Spielhaus, and you tell her that it's a collage.
04:04Nicole, get the stun gun.
04:06I want to see your assignment.
04:08I want to see art so bad it got an F.
04:12I call it before awareness.
04:16What do you think?
04:21I just see paper here.
04:22Where the art slide off?
04:25Why do I have to draw something for it to be art?
04:28I've read your modern art books.
04:30They say that modern art is conceptual.
04:33I've read about Stephen Butler Garrison.
04:35Hey, she's got a point, Michael.
04:38Hey, Stephen Butler Garrison once did a series of blank canvases called the cave paintings.
04:42He said they were born of an emotional emptiness that was brought about by a lifetime of painting
04:47what other people wanted him to paint.
04:49So, you know what he did?
04:50He took his $10 million estate, gave it to charity, and he lived the rest of his life in a
04:55cave.
04:56What a yutch.
04:59Wrong.
05:00Not all art is a bowl of fruit.
05:02Look at this.
05:03Come on.
05:04Before awareness.
05:06That's brilliant.
05:07That is truly brilliant.
05:09You're saying that Nicole's blank piece of paper is brilliant?
05:12Yes.
05:12Yes, he is.
05:13Tell him why.
05:14Go, Dad.
05:16Hey, before awareness.
05:18I mean, this means that there's more to it than just art.
05:20It's pre-art.
05:21Right?
05:22It's the moment just before inspiration.
05:24It's not something we can all see.
05:25Well, who can see it, Joe?
05:27Dogs?
05:27Dogs?
05:29Hey, Michael.
05:30It's metaphysical.
05:32It's very nice.
05:33Unfortunately, she's not being graded by Baba Ram Dass.
05:36They won't let you back in class until you have this signed by at least one father.
05:42You know, this father is going down to your class, and I'm going to have a little artistic
05:45discussion with this spiel house.
05:47No.
05:47No, no, Joe.
05:48What are you going to do?
05:48Are you going to tell this woman her business?
05:50Hey, it's my business.
05:51Art's what I do for a living.
05:53Come on.
05:53I mean, a teacher doesn't expect genius from a student.
05:56That's why she doesn't recognize what's not on his paper.
05:58Dad, please don't go in.
06:01If you can wait and make a big scene, she'll probably be very nice to you and then make
06:05my life miserable for the rest of the year.
06:07And she's tight with my English teacher.
06:09She'll tell her not to give me an A. She'll tell her to make me read Beowulf.
06:13Joe, and I mean nothing by that, don't you think that you're talking to Nicole's teacher
06:18is not really exploiting our unique relationship here?
06:21I mean, school is not your best environment.
06:23So?
06:24So?
06:25So I'll talk to Nicole's teacher.
06:26It's a school problem.
06:27School's always been a good feel for me.
06:29And you can carry the ball when Nicole's got a problem in a field that's good for you.
06:32Which would be what?
06:33How the hell do I know?
06:35Oh, so you're saying I can't handle this and you can't?
06:37You want me to be honest or you want me to be conceptual?
06:40Because either way, my head shakes the same direction.
06:44Hey, Michael, I stand behind my daughter's creative vision.
06:47Art is based on imagination and I don't want to be taught by someone who doesn't have any.
06:51Let's see how I handle this.
06:56Hey, don't worry.
06:58There are so many other fine schools.
07:10Joey Harris, Nicole Bradford's father.
07:14Professional artist.
07:16So when my daughter comes home with an assignment that I consider conceptual, it bothers me just a little bit
07:22when a teacher that is supposed to be encouraging creativity steps all over it.
07:26And let me tell you something.
07:27Anybody who can give imagination like that an F clearly shows me that you know nothing about art.
07:32Nothing at all.
07:33Less than nothing.
07:39Please, don't hit me.
07:43Mr. Harris, I have to agree with you.
07:45I know nothing about art.
07:47I'm Nicole's English teacher.
07:52I'm just here to leave this note for Miss Spielhaus.
07:55Oh, well, you know, Nicole's favorite subject's English.
07:57She talks about you all the time.
07:59Miss, uh...
08:01Please, don't make her read Beowulf.
08:09May I help you?
08:10I'm Karen Spielhaus.
08:12You're flunking my daughter, Spielhaus.
08:15You're Nicole's father.
08:17Joey Harris.
08:18Now, how would you know that unless Nicole's the only daughter you're flunking?
08:21Well, she's the only daughter who bluffed her way through an art assignment.
08:24Oh, come on.
08:25What are you talking about?
08:26I'm an artist.
08:27I know she took a creative risk.
08:29Look at this.
08:33Hey, it's conceptual.
08:34The concept she needs to learn are color, form, and perspective.
08:38So I'd say we have nothing left to talk about.
08:41Well, I can see I'm not going to change your mind.
08:43I'm afraid not.
08:45Well, then let's get off your mind.
08:48You know, I don't get how someone like you with eyes like those can be blind to this masterpiece.
08:58You're dating my teacher.
09:00You're dating my teacher.
09:01You're dating my teacher.
09:03You can't date my teacher.
09:04Teachers aren't for dating.
09:06She'll grade you, Dad.
09:07She'll grade everything you do.
09:09Order the wrong wine.
09:10D-.
09:11If you spell something on the table, she'll make you stay after dinner.
09:15Hey, I'm not dating your teacher.
09:17It's a meeting, okay?
09:18It's harmless.
09:19Innocent.
09:19You flossed.
09:22Michael, Joey flossed.
09:24Well, sure.
09:25It's November.
09:27I'm just trying to get her out of this F, and it doesn't hurt to have a dashing smile.
09:30Who are you dashing, Joe?
09:32My teacher.
09:33They'll hit it off.
09:34They'll go steady.
09:35They'll get engaged.
09:36Then when she calls on me in class, it won't be,
09:38Nicole, where's your assignment?
09:39It'll be, honey bun, did you wash your face this morning?
09:42In front of all my friends.
09:44Geez, why don't you just leave me in the woods?
09:48So this is the way you're handling Nicole's teacher?
09:50Hey, I haven't begun to handle Nicole's teacher.
09:54The thing you gotta decide is whether you trust me or not.
10:01Not.
10:10Where is he?
10:11If they were just going out to talk, they would be home by now.
10:14What are they talking about?
10:15You, Nicole.
10:17I could go on all night, too.
10:20You're very sweet.
10:22I don't want them talking about me.
10:24I don't want them together.
10:25Honey, why is this bothering you so much?
10:28They're together as parent and teacher.
10:30And you're a good student, so you got nothing to worry about.
10:33Do you?
10:34No.
10:35You don't want to get an F, right?
10:37I don't want Joey talking to my teacher about me.
10:39Why not?
10:40You can't lower your grade.
10:42I don't care about the grade.
10:44Michael, they're right downstairs at Kluikki's.
10:47Couldn't you just go down and see what's going on?
10:50Please?
10:51Don't give me the puppy face, Nicole.
10:55Puppy face doesn't work with me.
11:02Puppy face doesn't work with me.
11:04Stay.
11:09Hello.
11:10Oh, hi.
11:11So how'd it go?
11:12Everything's handled.
11:14It's a good thing I took care of it.
11:15You'd have been out of your league.
11:19So it's all over?
11:20I'd say there's nothing left to talk about.
11:25I just wanted to return your jacket,
11:27which I could have given to Nicole in the morning,
11:29but that would have denied me the opportunity
11:30of throwing it in your face.
11:38So she's still got an F.
11:42Only if she's lucky.
11:54Well?
11:55Joey has something he wants to tell you.
12:01We had artistic differences.
12:04So that's it?
12:05It's all over?
12:08Mary, I'm sorry, Nick.
12:09Oh, that's okay.
12:10Hey, you tried.
12:11I'm nowhere soft than I was before,
12:13and now I can just go on with my life.
12:17Oh, she's taking it fine.
12:19A little too fine.
12:20And if she doesn't care about her grade, I do.
12:22Now, what happened?
12:23Hey, we didn't hit it off, okay?
12:25You weren't supposed to hit it off.
12:27You were supposed to talk to her about art.
12:29Oh, I talked to her about art.
12:30And she talked to me about art
12:32like she knew something.
12:33Joe, she knows something for a living.
12:35No, she doesn't.
12:36She kept going on about color and style
12:39and perspective, everything by the numbers.
12:41She should be talking about passion
12:42and imagination,
12:43which she has none of either,
12:45which is why she's not an artist,
12:46which is why she's a teacher,
12:47which is why they say what they say.
12:49Oh, no.
12:50Those who can't do, teach.
12:52Joe, did you say what they say?
12:55Only once.
12:57You know what happened?
13:03I should have gone down there in the first place.
13:05I should have talked to this woman.
13:06Hey, she's not a woman, Michael.
13:08She had me fooled.
13:10I mean, she looked like a woman.
13:11She smelled like a woman.
13:12But you scrape away that thin veneer woman,
13:14you know what she got underneath?
13:15Teacher.
13:17Joe, did you scrape her thin veneer?
13:20She's got no soul.
13:21She's not human, I'm telling you.
13:23She's the undead.
13:25You know what we gotta do?
13:27We gotta find the desk she sleeps in.
13:29We gotta drive a ruler through her heart.
13:35Interesting theory, Joe.
13:37I just don't happen to see Nicole's art teacher
13:39as a blood-sucking creature of the night.
13:40Call me crazy.
13:42But here's what I'll do.
13:43I'll go see her in the daytime.
13:45I'll open up the Venetian blinds.
13:47And if she turns to dust,
13:49is my face red?
13:54We're a turtleneck.
13:59Miss Spielhaus?
14:00Yes.
14:01I'm Michael Taylor,
14:02Nicole Bradford's father.
14:03Ah, the other one.
14:05The normal one.
14:06There's hoping.
14:08And I hope that Joey's method of approach
14:10didn't do anything to further damage
14:12Nicole's standing in your class.
14:14Nicole put a clever title
14:15on a blank piece of paper.
14:17Whatever her reason,
14:18she shirked an assignment.
14:19And I don't like that, Mr. Taylor.
14:21Neither do I.
14:23But I just don't like my daughter to get an F.
14:25Even if it is in art.
14:27Excuse me?
14:27No, especially if it's in art.
14:29Art being so important.
14:30Because without art,
14:31there'd be no more paintings.
14:32And without paintings,
14:32we wouldn't know how big to make sofas.
14:36That's a very novel view of art.
14:38And certainly less explosive
14:39than Mr. Harris' view.
14:41Oh, yeah.
14:43Joey and I have different views
14:44on art and school
14:46and everything else that exists in this world.
14:50Well, then how did you two end up
14:52as Nicole's guardians?
14:54Well, we fell in love
14:55with the same woman 13 years ago.
14:58Marcy Bradford.
15:00Joey and I being so different,
15:02there was something in each of us
15:03that she loved.
15:04And when she died,
15:05she left Nicole to Joey and to me.
15:08And she didn't know who the real father was.
15:11Oh, no, I'm the real father.
15:12She just wanted to give Joey something to do.
15:15No, actually, we're not sure.
15:16We just each have our definite opinions.
15:20Like about art,
15:21which Joey seems to think this is,
15:23I am what Joey calls an aesthetic vacuum.
15:25I mean, I think this is blank.
15:29That's why I had to give it an F.
15:31And I'm sure you think you're right.
15:33I wish I had thought to bring
15:35Nicole's last report card with me.
15:37Oh, wait a second.
15:38I did.
15:41I brought it
15:42because I knew I'd be in school
15:43and there'll be somebody here
15:44who could explain
15:45this column of letters
15:46next to all her other subjects,
15:48which when sounded out
15:49seemed to form the word
15:50ah, abba, abba, abba, ah.
15:52Do you really want to be the one
15:54to change this wonderful report card
15:55and make this last word
15:57become
15:57abba, babba, fuff?
16:00Mr. Taylor,
16:01I don't like giving fuffs.
16:03I'm not a monster.
16:05That's been my position all along.
16:07I'll tell you what.
16:08How about she gives you another picture,
16:09you give her another grade.
16:10That's been my offer
16:11from the beginning.
16:13What?
16:14Maybe you'll have better luck
16:15than I did.
16:16You gave her a chance
16:18to redo the assignment?
16:19Several times.
16:20And she refused?
16:21Several times.
16:23It was as if she demanded the F.
16:33I've never seen Nicole like this.
16:36Ah, don't worry.
16:37She's a kid.
16:38She's going to be like that a lot.
16:40Then she'll grow up
16:41and she won't be.
16:42You know what's great
16:44about you, Klawicki?
16:45You played professional football,
16:48you run a diner
16:49that's open all night,
16:50and still you find time
16:52to know nothing about kids.
16:55I try to keep busy.
16:57Here's your milkshake.
16:58Not my milkshake, Klawicki.
17:00I ordered it for the kid.
17:03Don't you get that
17:03you bring it to the kid.
17:05She looks at it.
17:07She smiles.
17:07You tell her it's from me.
17:09She knows she's loved.
17:12Gotcha.
17:16Here you go, kid.
17:17Enjoy.
17:20That's so sweet.
17:21You made this for me,
17:23Mr. Klawicki?
17:25Yeah.
17:37Hey.
17:39This is for you.
17:40Don't be mad at me.
17:42I'm not mad at you.
17:44You're not looking at me.
17:45I can be happy with you
17:46without looking.
17:53You were right, Nick.
17:54I didn't have a meeting
17:54with your teacher.
17:55I had a date.
17:56It was a bad date.
17:57A date that will live
17:58in infamy.
18:01I don't want you
18:02seeing my art teacher anymore.
18:04I don't think that's
18:04going to be a problem.
18:06But you know,
18:07I'm your father.
18:08When you have a little trouble
18:09down at the school,
18:10I should be allowed
18:10to go talk to your teacher.
18:12Fine.
18:13Just not that teacher.
18:15Why?
18:18Hi, Nicole.
18:19I was just down at school.
18:20What?
18:21How could you go down there
18:22after what happened?
18:24Sit down.
18:26Now, listen up,
18:27because most of this
18:27is good news.
18:28Miss Spielhaus has agreed
18:30to allow you
18:30to redo the art assignment.
18:32Isn't that great?
18:34Spielhaus talked to you?
18:35Yeah.
18:36She talked to me
18:36and I listened.
18:37I listened to her
18:38tell me that she gave
18:39the same chance to Nicole
18:40three times before.
18:43But it's conceptual.
18:44You understand it.
18:46Why should I have
18:47to redo it?
18:47Okay, Nick,
18:48but that one's done.
18:49You did one for me,
18:50now do one for Miss Spielhaus,
18:52get an A,
18:53and let's eat.
18:53No.
18:54Why not?
18:55Just no.
18:56I'm doing great
18:57in everything else.
18:58So why not art?
18:59Nicole, I'll help you.
19:01You hold the pen
19:02and I'll move
19:03the paper underneath it.
19:09Nice arm.
19:17Before awareness.
19:19Before awareness of what?
19:21Why is she handing in
19:22blank pieces of paper?
19:23Maybe she can't draw.
19:24So I can't draw either.
19:25Don't you think
19:26she's going to disappoint me?
19:27If you think she's
19:28going to disappoint anybody,
19:29it's probably me.
19:32Wait a minute.
19:33Wait a minute.
19:36She never cared
19:37about the grade.
19:38She only cared about you
19:40talking to her teacher.
19:41So?
19:42She only cared
19:43about you finding out
19:45that the teacher
19:46gave her another chance
19:46to draw a picture.
19:48And she would rather
19:49fail the course
19:50than draw a picture.
19:51So?
19:52It's a joke.
19:54How crazy is it
19:55for a 12-year-old girl
19:57with two fathers
19:58to believe
20:00that if she can't draw
20:01and drawing
20:02is what one of her fathers
20:03does best,
20:04maybe she's not his daughter.
20:07That's completely crazy.
20:22What are you standing
20:24here for?
20:34Dad,
20:35Dad,
20:35I can't draw.
20:54Hey,
20:54I only have one father
20:55and he's a plumber,
20:56right?
20:59Uh-huh.
21:01You know,
21:02a lot of times,
21:04you know,
21:05my father,
21:05he'd need a permit
21:07for a job
21:07so we'd have to
21:08draw a diagram
21:09and he'd sit down
21:10at the kitchen table
21:11with his paper
21:12and his pencil
21:12and he'd be
21:14trying and trying
21:15and trying
21:16and after a couple hours
21:18I'd hear him say,
21:19hey, Joey,
21:20come down here.
21:21You're the artist.
21:22You do this for me.
21:24I can't draw.
21:27Your father
21:28can't draw?
21:30You don't always
21:31inherit talent.
21:33That's true,
21:34Nicole.
21:35You know,
21:35Leonardo da Vinci
21:36had this son,
21:37Bob.
21:42You ever hear of him?
21:44No.
21:45See?
21:50I want you both
21:51to be my father.
21:53I don't ever want
21:54to find out
21:54that one of you
21:55isn't my father.
22:02Well, neither do we.
22:06Wouldn't matter anyway.
22:09We're a family.
22:15Hey, guys,
22:16what do you think?
22:25That's pretty good, huh?
22:27Terrible.
22:29Really?
22:31Yeah.
22:33That's really awful.
22:34I mean,
22:34I could draw better
22:35than that.
22:36You can?
22:36She can draw
22:37better than me?
22:38Yeah,
22:38but she can't
22:39draw better than me.
22:40So,
22:40so you're saying
22:41somewhere in the middle?
22:45Somewhere in the middle.
23:11So,
23:25so you're enjoying
23:26andها medio
23:26go leap for you.
23:27And you're like,
23:27tell me a minute then.
23:27I'm going to go leap for you.
23:29And you're like,
23:31no pun!
23:34I'm going to fall
23:35out endure.
23:35I'm going to go leap,
23:36and you're telling you things
23:36the end of that.
23:36go leap for you.
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