- 2 days ago
Category
đč
FunTranscript
00:19Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Joe, Joe, Joe.
00:22Joe!
00:23No, Veronica, you got no more to give.
00:29Hey, get up, there's a burglar outside.
00:32Hey, hey, I got a bat.
00:37You step in here, I crack your head open.
00:42Louisville Slugger, Roger Maris.
00:45Hey, how do you know it's a burglar?
00:47Oh, because it's three o'clock in the morning.
00:49There's thumping in the hall and the lock is rattling.
00:51That narrows it down to Burglar or Ghost of Christmas Past
00:54and I don't want to see either one of them.
00:57Who is it?
00:58Burglar.
01:00Malcolm?
01:03Yay!
01:11Well, who else would it be at this time of the night?
01:14Hey, hey, I'm sorry if I scared you, mate, but, uh, hey, wait till you hear me sing and that'll
01:18really scare you.
01:21You scared me?
01:22You didn't scare me.
01:23I just, I always like to take a few swings before I call it a night.
01:26Hey, Malcolm O'Dell, this is Michael Taylor.
01:28Malcolm's been on the road about five months now.
01:30He's a musician.
01:31Yeah.
01:31And you're, um, a stockbroker.
01:35The pajamas.
01:38Of course.
01:38Financial advisor.
01:39Whoa.
01:40Well, listen, nice to meet you.
01:41I'm gonna let you guys do the catching up.
01:43I got an early day tomorrow.
01:44Hey, man, you're gonna need a financial advisor, huh?
01:47Two records on the charts.
01:48Ah, what the hell?
01:49Sun's already up.
01:50So, uh, Malcolm, what brings you to town?
01:52What, cutting another album?
01:53No, no, no.
01:53Actually, starting tomorrow, I'm opening for Fleetwood Mac at the Garden.
01:56Oh, really?
01:57You are making it, bud.
01:59You're making it.
01:59I'm proud of you.
02:00Yeah, just having a good time, mate.
02:01You remember the old philosophy?
02:03Good times at all costs.
02:05All right.
02:06So, wait a minute.
02:07So, Joe, you mean secretly you've been this fun-loving, unconventional guy?
02:11All this time, you think you know a person.
02:14Yeah, in fact, Joe and I always used to compete to see who could be the most unconventional.
02:19And by the look of this gaff, I think we're running neck and neck, mate.
02:22No way, man.
02:23You blowing in three in the morning for opening at the garden.
02:26That puts you ahead of me.
02:27Yeah, dream come true.
02:29Thousands of teenagers screaming my name.
02:31I can hear it now.
02:33Malcolm O'Dell!
02:36Now, that is eerie.
02:38Malcolm O'Dell.
02:39You're Malcolm O'Dell.
02:40I recognize him from MTV, which I only watch 20 minutes a day after homework, I swear.
02:46What are you doing here?
02:48Is everyone some kind of contest?
02:50Do we have a dream date?
02:55Hey, Malcolm's a friend of mine, Nicole.
02:57He's gonna be staying with us for a couple days.
02:59If that's okay with you.
03:01That's okay with me.
03:03Hey, and who's Nicole then?
03:05Hey, this is my 12-year-old daughter, man.
03:07Best 12-year-old in the world.
03:09You mean I leave town for five months and you have a 12-year-old daughter?
03:14Woo!
03:15I'd say that moved you way ahead of me in the unconventional race, Joe.
03:20But wait a minute.
03:21I always thought that daughters came with two parents.
03:31You win, Joe.
03:34This is me, Nicole Bradford.
03:36Cute, huh?
03:37This is my dad.
03:38And this is my dad.
03:40How'd I get two dads?
03:41They inherited me.
03:42Congratulations.
03:43It's a girl.
03:45Here's the judge who brought us together.
03:46She lives in our building.
03:47My building.
03:48I own it.
03:49She's going to make sure we're one big happy family with one dad who's down to earth and
03:54one dad with his head in the clouds.
03:56I think we're father of the year.
03:58You can count on me.
04:01No matter what you do.
04:03You can count on me.
04:06No matter where you go.
04:08I'm standing by your side.
04:10I'll be right behind.
04:12No one loves you more than I do.
04:15Put your hand in mine.
04:17You can count on me.
04:20No matter what you do.
04:23You can count on me.
04:25No matter where you go.
04:28You can count on me.
04:33Ta-da!
04:38Ta-da what?
04:40There's nobody here, Nicole.
04:42What a disappointment.
04:44This is not doing my ego a lot of good, ladies.
04:48Sorry, Mr. Taylor, but Nicole promised us Malcolm Odell.
04:51And all she delivered is some plain old father.
04:55That's better.
04:57She must have gone out for a while.
04:59Yeah, right.
05:01Oh, you know, I gotta get back for dinner.
05:04We're having Madonna and Shawn.
05:06Come on.
05:08Fine.
05:09Taunt me.
05:10But I know that Malcolm Odell is staying here.
05:12I just wanted to impress you.
05:13But what satisfaction could that actually bring me?
05:25Nicole.
05:28I've missed you.
05:31Oh, my gosh.
05:36Oh, my gosh.
05:37Oh, my gosh.
05:40Oh.
05:41Oh, sometimes life treats me so good.
05:47Hey, Michael, Malcolm ran into the hot air balloon, man.
05:51We're going to go flying right now.
05:52You want to come?
05:52Hey, Nick, you want to go?
05:53Michael, let's go.
05:54I don't think so, Nicole.
05:56Gravity is a law I really like to obey.
06:00Dad.
06:01Nicole, you have homework to do.
06:05The big English test tomorrow, I think you should stay home.
06:08It's a school night.
06:09Ah, it's a school night?
06:11Did I say that?
06:15I'm a real parent now.
06:18There's no turning back.
06:19Pretty soon, I'm going to start saying things like, don't pick at it.
06:25Well, hey, now I'm giving you a chance to take it back and let me go.
06:29Listen, my father must have said school night to me 20,000 times.
06:33School night, school night, it's a school night.
06:35Can I go out?
06:35It's a school night.
06:36That's all I ever heard.
06:38Now, I'm taking it out on you.
06:41That's why people have children.
06:45Hey, Michael, just forget one English test, all right?
06:48Live a little.
06:49Living is our homework, you know.
06:51Now, my philosophy is...
06:52Yeah, I know, I know.
06:53Good times at all costs.
06:55I just wanted to return your hammer.
06:58Turns out I didn't even need it.
07:00My date was a perfect gentleman.
07:02Hey, Judge, what up?
07:03I want you to meet a real good friend of mine.
07:05This is Malcolm O'Dell.
07:06This is Her Honor, Judge Margaret Wilbur.
07:08Hiya, Megs.
07:09Malcolm O'Dell.
07:11You look very familiar.
07:13Have I ever sentenced you?
07:17Might want to sentence him now, Judge.
07:18He's trying to convince me to let Nicole go on a balloon ride.
07:22Absolutely not, unless I can come.
07:27That was the best time I ever had.
07:30I told you, didn't I?
07:35You know, for a minute, I thought I wasn't going to have fun.
07:39Up in the air.
07:40In a balloon.
07:42Hey, Michael, you don't look like you had too much fun.
07:45Come on, the man was playing chicken with the World Trade Center.
07:49He was just trying to make the ride more exciting.
07:51I mean, you know what he's doing all the time, right?
07:53Okay.
07:55I got it.
07:59Is he still here?
08:00Where was he?
08:02There he is.
08:04Hi.
08:05Hi.
08:07He wants to marry me.
08:10Your concert starts tonight, doesn't it?
08:12Yeah, are you coming?
08:13I wish.
08:14My parents would never let me.
08:16Oh.
08:16School tomorrow.
08:17Oh, no.
08:18I'll tell you what.
08:18If you can't come to the concert, then we'll start the concert right here.
08:22Hey, Joe, come on, mate.
08:23We're going to play.
08:24Hey, Michael.
08:25Michael, we're going to jam, mate.
08:26Come on.
08:27Grab your accordion and join in.
08:33Okay, which one of your songs do you want to do?
08:35One of my songs?
08:36Never mind.
08:37They can hear my songs any time.
08:38Let's do one of the songs that we wrote together.
08:41You wrote songs with my dad?
08:44Yeah, me and your dad are the best of mates.
08:47Come on, mate.
08:47I bet you don't even remember how it goes.
08:49What, you think you can keep up with me?
08:50Yeah, I can.
08:51You go for it.
08:51Go on.
09:01You can count on me, no matter what you do.
09:07You can count on me, no matter where you go.
09:12Oh, I'm standing by your side, I'll be right behind.
09:16I'm right behind.
09:17No one loves you more than I do.
09:19Put your hand in mine.
09:21I can see a part of me in you.
09:26A little something special that comes shining through.
09:32Hearing your laughter and I feel it when you cry.
09:36I will be right there for you until the day I die.
09:42You can count on me, no matter what you do.
09:47You can count on me, no matter where you go.
09:52You can count on me.
10:07so you wrote that yeah you like it yeah why do i feel like i've heard that somewhere
10:15hey i'm sorry that you girls won't be able to come to the concert tonight but
10:18i'm sure nicole will tell you all about it tomorrow you're going
10:23mr taylor i am impressed you are not a regular old dad after all nicole is lucky to have you
10:30as a
10:30father well thank you does this mean i'm going of course not it's a school night
10:38they are all the same it's like they come out of some xerox machine
10:44hey joe you mean she's not coming to the concert tonight don't worry i'll talk to michael no no joe
10:48no she went up in the balloon she hasn't done a homework she's got a big test tomorrow you can
10:51see the same concert tomorrow night michael what is it with you man why don't you just lighten up
10:57look i'll tell you what why don't i uh just walk these lovely ladies downstairs uh while uh while
11:04you two dads have a have a nice little chat huh they're never gonna believe this at school
11:08yes they will i got it all on tape ladies after you
11:20he's kissing my hand now
11:27hey michael no okay no you put me in this terrible position
11:31nicole wants to go to this concert so you of course you think it's swell and i'm the only one
11:35left who has to say no because you and peter pan don't understand the meaning of the word
11:38responsibility come on michael school is every day how often does a 12 year old kid get to be a
11:44big shot joe did you notice that the other kids parents wouldn't let them go do you figure that
11:48maybe since the beginning of time parents and children they have these roles to play now nicole's
11:54got her part down perfectly her lines are may i please break down all the walls of discipline and
11:58stay out even though i have homework and a test now let me teach you your lines no
12:07hey do me a big favor okay don't give me instructions on how to be a parent because
12:11i've been a parent just as long as you have michael right and all i'm asking for is a little
12:15parental
12:15consistency in front of nicole well i say she goes that consistent enough for you i say she goes
12:20tomorrow night look tonight she studies tomorrow she takes a test tomorrow night she sees the concert
12:24everybody wins what are you making me yell hey guys i gotta be on my way now so uh what
12:32are you
12:32decided then you can't go tonight nick you can go to the concert tomorrow night that okay okay
12:45hey joe i've uh i've got a i've got a sound check you wanna you wanna walk me out sure
12:57so this is what's become of you huh what are you talking about i mean you've changed pal
13:03i mean i i don't even recognize you i mean mr suit and tie has taken the life out of
13:08you nobody's
13:09taking the life out of me i'm the same guy i always was you don't believe that you've changed
13:13absolutely man well then you're worse off than i thought you were happy homework
13:32here we come
13:37hey we get the funniest looks from everyone with me
13:46hey how'd that go i don't know it was before my time
13:54well well good morning good morning are you just getting home oh man we had some night we went to
14:00all the old places sang all the old songs that was a night and i'm sure you forgot all about
14:05your
14:05daughter's birthday
14:09oh dad it's not my birthday quiet i'm trying to make them feel guilty
14:16i have to do it without me i've got to get to school hey hey you study up for that
14:20big test of
14:20yours today sure had nothing else to do last night yeah well well you're busy tonight a backstage pass to
14:27the concert and just in time to take to school you have a wonderful understanding of how important
14:33it is to have jealous friends thank you thank you thank you oh yeah i gotta get some sleep
14:42couch is yours all right
14:50yes
14:54no no i'm not gonna say anything about staying out all night when you have a daughter at home
14:59it's not my place to tell you how to live your life it's not my place to tell you that
15:03most daughters who have fathers who stay out all night change their name to bubbles and don't
15:06take american express that's one of michael's little digs he does that to me all the time
15:11doesn't it bother you nah because when he does it i know that he's just annoyed that
15:16i did something that he would never do which automatically makes it fun like staying out
15:21all night with an old friend yeah well maybe he doesn't have any old friends you know i really
15:25would love to stay and take offense but uh i gotta get uptown to my job
15:33you see i toil while others sleep oh love to dig
15:43judge you know i'm thinking maybe i should put up a new sign because now it says clue wiki's food
15:50what do you want it to say clue wiki's good food
15:57you'll lose all your customers
16:01yeah
16:03you know the thing about me is i got a watch so i know to get in before the sun
16:08comes up because
16:08my watch tells me i know what time to go to work because my watch tells me right now my
16:12watch is
16:12telling me to panic because they are three hours late for dinner and nobody's called me so obviously
16:15it seems my whole problem is this watch i know him he regrets that no no no i don't because
16:27that
16:28was impulsive that was that was fun now fun's over i gotta buy a new watch
16:36i do what's right for nicole so so how come with malcolm around i feel like such a wet blanket
16:45you don't think of me as a wet blanket do you judge no michael i think of you as a
16:52moist towelette
16:56look michael don't worry about malcolm he's only in town for a couple of days
17:01he has no effect on your daughter
17:12it was great it was so great
17:17why is my daughter in shackles
17:20i was a slave they take me to a rock
17:24they did who's there is he there because i'm getting a little upset at bay hey mike will you
17:29relax okay malcolm invited sabina's new video nobody called me oh come on niva come on you're like my
17:36mother look i don't have to report to anybody you know i mean i'm allowed to have as much fun
17:40as i
17:40want for as long as i want and i can take my daughter out and have a great time hey
17:44judge would
17:45you please tell him that he should have called me will you please tell him to stop being my mother
17:52oh look at the time
17:56i'm late for hanging
17:59look michael it's okay they treated me very nicely they gave me lunch and everything lunch
18:05you don't have lunch in school
18:08joey took me out of school
18:11what about her test it was a half day michael it was a national holiday it was time of your
18:16life
18:16day she took the test in the morning she did great next
18:20nicole would you go upstairs please and unchain yourself yeah go upstairs and wash up because
18:25we're going to malcolm's conda tonight yeah and then we're going to stay out all night and
18:28we're going to show nicole all the places that joey and i used to hang out okay mom
18:36joe michael hey she's going to be with me oh what was i supposed to calm me down hey what
18:41is this
18:42what's the matter suddenly you don't trust me with nicole no no no boys don't let's quibble
18:47no no no i want to hear you say this i want to hear you tell me that you don't
18:50trust me with nicole
18:51i used to i don't know who are you lately hey i'm me michael the same person i always used
18:56to be
18:56before you tried to make me you
19:07so
19:24she here hey what's that come on get up i know you've been up all night waiting for me i
19:30know
19:30you where is she she's with you i lost her man come on get up let's go what do you
19:36mean you lost
19:37her at the concert malcolm pulls her up on stage and he starts dancing with her and then he takes
19:41her off and by the time i get back there i can't find him anywhere didn't she call here no
19:45oh man why
19:46not ah i'm going out of my mind what's the matter with me offhand i'd say you're worried
19:56is this what i put you through for the last couple days we had the greatest time
20:06malcolm where were you well we went to a party and then we went to another party hey she was
20:11with
20:11me mate don't tell me you were concerned nick why didn't you call uh-oh i think we've lost him
20:19well we didn't call michael when i was with you i didn't know i was supposed to we were having
20:24too
20:24much fun we met all these neat people and i had my first glass of champagne
20:31nicole would you go to your room please do i have to you heard what your father said
20:40hey joe you can't punish your kid for having fun hey who the hell told you you could take my
20:46daughter to a party and give her champagne well it was very good champagne and besides when i offered
20:53her a sip all she had to say was no are you wait wait you know you you don't understand
20:58do you she's
20:59just a kid malcolm you don't get that do you you don't get that because you're you're still a kid
21:04too
21:06yeah and and you're starting to sound like pajama mike
21:10no no i'm sounding like a father so i guess i guess i changed but not because of him because
21:18of her because of her good times at all costs just got a little too rich for my blood
21:24so i guess i'm not going to be needing that philosophy anymore
21:29i guess you're gonna have to find somebody else to share that one with
21:36yeah well no hard feelings look i've got to be going tonight anyway i've got to fly to cincinnati
21:45look i'm sorry if i caused any trouble trouble's no fun
21:50look i'll i'll see you next time i come to town
21:56make sure it's not on a school night
22:01michael
22:04now don't let him grow up too fast
22:17well how come i just got this sudden urge to go out and buy wingtips
22:21it gets worse pali one of these days you're gonna buy a watch never never okay i'm nothing
22:29like you michael all right i've always taken a lot of comfort in that
22:33i'm me there's nothing that you're gonna do that's gonna influence me at all
22:37well who's gonna influence you you just threw out your best friend
22:41hey mike no i didn't
22:48hey joe
22:50i do trust you with our daughter
22:57here we come
23:02walking down the street
23:05we get the funniest looks up from everyone with me
23:11yeah
23:11yeah
23:18yeah
23:19yeah
23:20yeah
23:22yeah
Comments