- 1 day ago
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00:011, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
00:06No.
00:0610, yeah.
00:0710, 1, 20.
00:0810, 1, 20?
00:09Sorry, we're getting off the stop before you, aren't we?
00:11Because we're in the open.
00:13Yeah, that's right.
00:13Make these 3, uh, 3, 90s, I suppose.
00:16Well, can I get cheap pay returns?
00:44The Good God.
01:06Okay, as you're all aware, or you should be at this stage,
01:09we've lost our transport, but that's not the be-all and end-all of everything.
01:15In fact, what we're going to do is have an open day
01:18to raise awareness about what we're doing here, the good work we're doing.
01:22And, uh, the object of the exercise is to let those powers that be know
01:27that we are doing something good.
01:28I've decided, um, either wisely or not, I don't know, I'm sure I think it's wisely,
01:34uh, that we're going to have an open day.
01:36And, um, just to let everybody know exactly what we're doing here.
01:40Um, it's going to be a fun day, uh, for everybody.
01:43Um, in order to do this, um, we need a very big show, big splash.
01:48Uh, lots of ideas from you, hopefully.
01:51And I've, uh, taken the liberty to invite a friend of mine,
01:53a very good friend of mine, uh, to come along and help us with this,
01:56to direct and bring a bit of his, uh, show business knowledge into this.
01:59So, please, give a warm welcome to Mr Big himself, Christopher Biggins.
02:03Ray, can you give a big round of applause? Christopher Biggins!
02:06Hi, how are you? Good to see you. Good to see you.
02:08Hey, Tim, how are you? Nice to see you.
02:11Well, look, hey, this is going to be really special.
02:14Hi, guys, how are you?
02:15The Commissioner of Police will be coming.
02:19I'm going to speak to him shortly.
02:22Um, I know he's, I know he is coming.
02:25And, um, many other, uh, important guests. A few VIPs.
02:30And what about you? You've dressed up, haven't you?
02:34Look at this. This is great. This is exactly what we want.
02:38We're going to take this force and make something very, very special.
02:42Are we all in? Yes?
02:44Yes.
02:44Yes, that's good. Are we all in? Let's have a bigger one.
02:47Yes.
02:49Terrific.
02:50No, I didn't, I didn't mention funds. It's nothing to do with money.
02:54It's just to let people know what's happening here.
02:58I'm going to have it right outside. Outside there.
03:04And it's going to be a very, very exciting day.
03:07Sol, can you stand up, please?
03:09Maybe you should have brought him on.
03:10I think, I think you should be dressed. I mean, look at this dreary.
03:14Don't stand up these strands and you stand up just here, please.
03:17What does it mean? It's, you know, he should be more flamboyant.
03:20Sort of...
03:21What's he doing now?
03:24What are you doing?
03:29What's she doing?
03:30What's she doing?
03:31What's she doing?
03:31Is this a bear gun? He's got a bloody hair gun.
03:34What are you going to fire there?
03:35What are you going to fire there?
03:36What are you going to fire there?
03:38Get out of here! Out!
03:40I love you, Poggy. Don't let them take me. Don't let them...
03:50I love you.
03:52No, no, no, no.
03:53The love interest is great, you know.
03:55Why didn't you...
03:56Excuse me, sorry, guys.
03:57What's the matter, guys?
03:58This is, um...
04:01It's Poggy and Best, isn't it?
04:03Poggy and Best.
04:04Yeah.
04:05It's, um...
04:05Famous opera.
04:06It's great.
04:07George Gershwin.
04:08It's a black opera, though, isn't it?
04:10It's a black cast, isn't it?
04:11It's Jewish, isn't it?
04:13So, um...
04:14So, if it's, if it's, uh...
04:15Do you think he'd be better with the makeup on?
04:17With the makeup? What, black them up, you mean?
04:19Yeah.
04:19Yeah.
04:20Jesus Christ.
04:21With the white bits, you know, like the minstrels.
04:42Yes, I do!
04:44I do!
04:46I do!
04:47I do!
04:48Yes, I do!
04:52Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to settle down
04:55and imagine you're hostages in a hostage situation
04:59and the iron hand of the law is about to intervene.
05:03Okay.
05:03Shall I be tied up?
05:04Yeah.
05:05Thank you so much.
05:07You'll be tied up.
05:09Just a bit of fun.
05:10Do you...?
05:10All right, okay.
05:11Do you think a few sequins wouldn't,
05:13if we could, sort of, jazz it up a bit?
05:18Hey!
05:21What?
05:22This is good.
05:24You said this is...
05:25The way it's...
05:26Stay still!
05:26Stay still!
05:27No, it's not going.
05:28No, it's not going.
05:28It's going to be nice shutting down.
05:32Chris, what do you think?
05:34What happened?
05:34Having done music.
05:35No, no, this thing.
05:37No, this thing.
05:38Follow my voice.
05:40Hello?
05:41This way.
05:42This way.
05:42This way.
05:42That's it.
05:44There you come here.
05:45I've got the motor.
05:47I've got the motor.
05:47I'm sorry.
05:48It's the biggest.
05:49I'm really, really sorry.
05:51Quick, get out.
05:53Get some oxygen.
05:54Bring it round.
05:55Bring it round.
05:56Bring it round.
05:59I think I should go home at the least.
06:02Sorry.
06:02You're busy.
06:03What do you want?
06:04I've just got an idea about the open day.
06:07Can I come in?
06:07Yeah, sure.
06:08Yeah.
06:08Come here.
06:10Get out.
06:11No, it's not honestly, guys.
06:13Get out.
06:13Honestly, just bear with me.
06:14This is Sherlock.
06:16Can you get back?
06:16Come on.
06:17No, honestly, guys.
06:18It's my uncle's dog.
06:20Oh, it's your uncle?
06:21It's the commissioner's...
06:22Yeah, the commissioner.
06:23The dog.
06:23It's Sherlock.
06:24Yeah, come here.
06:25Stay away.
06:26Listen.
06:26I just had an idea, right?
06:27For some shit.
06:29My uncle absolutely thinks the world of this dog, right?
06:32Yeah?
06:33What about if I go out and teach his dog some tricks?
06:38Why?
06:39Fences?
06:39Well, whatever.
06:39Fences, paws.
06:40All I'm saying is, because he loves it.
06:42If he comes into the open day and sees we can train his dog,
06:46I mean, he's going to think, these are different gear, you know?
06:48These are main players.
06:49Really?
06:50That's good.
06:51Guys, I'm not being funny.
06:53It's a bit on top at the moment.
06:54I mean, we're just trying to work out what we're going to do.
06:57Do you mind just giving us five?
06:58Just so we can just get our heads together.
07:00You're putting the dog off.
07:00I mean, I'm a very experienced trainer, you see.
07:04And in my experience, if there's other people around,
07:07it just confuses the line of command here.
07:11Okay.
07:12No, no, I understand.
07:13Yeah.
07:15Okay.
07:16Yeah, thanks.
07:17Do you know?
07:17Fine.
07:19It's new.
07:21How are we doing?
07:22No.
07:22It's looking very bleak, sir, I must admit.
07:25Bleak?
07:25Give me...
07:26How are we doing?
07:27His tummy is coming.
07:29That's how bleak it is, sir.
07:31Nobody.
07:33Right.
07:34What we could do is get Sherlock to do a wall walk down at the end of the showground there.
07:40Put a tick bit on the end of the wall.
07:43I know what you're saying, but at the end of the day, let's just keep it simple.
07:46It's just, like, something like paw and belly, do you know what I mean?
07:48Just keep it simple as it, you know...
07:50What about abseiling her out the top window?
07:53Well, come on, there must be...
07:54Give me another note.
07:55Johnny, Nick, 741.
07:58What's the key fix?
07:58That's one, 712.
08:010171, 741.
08:024-0.
08:034-9.
08:06You have to put your money in.
08:07Put the money in.
08:08Look, come here.
08:08Come here.
08:09Let me show you something.
08:10What's that, sir?
08:11Pay on arms.
08:12Okay.
08:13Sorry.
08:15Wait.
08:16Wait.
08:16Goat the bones.
08:17Wait.
08:17Wait.
08:18Sit.
08:20Goat the bones.
08:20Go on.
08:22Hey, look.
08:23Good job.
08:24So that's done, that's one.
08:24We've got one, haven't we?
08:25Good job.
08:25We've got one.
08:26Sherlock.
08:27Sherlock.
08:28Sherlock.
08:29Come here.
08:29Sherlock.
08:30Come here.
08:34That's a bloody machine.
08:35Come on.
08:36Give me something.
08:36What about lady...
08:38I phoned her.
08:39I phoned her up.
08:41I phoned her up.
08:42She phoned her down.
08:42What's her problem?
08:42She phoned her down.
08:44In.
08:45Out.
08:46Jump.
08:46Got it?
08:47Come on then.
08:48Come on, Kel.
08:49Come on.
08:49In.
08:51Out.
08:52Jump.
08:52Go on then.
08:53Go on.
08:54Over.
08:55Sherlock.
08:56Sherlock.
08:57Come on.
08:58That's just no good, is it?
08:59Well, the governor's asked us to come up with ideas for the open day, so I've had the
09:03idea to stage a hostage sort of situation involving action vehicles.
09:09The ART, they're already over there.
09:11Boo Boo and Gary are going to help us out.
09:14And I've spoken to Christopher and he said I can direct the whole thing.
09:17So I'm quite excited about it.
09:19Just bring her through it.
09:20Look, I'll get the other side.
09:21Come on.
09:21You go through it then.
09:22Go on.
09:23Come on in.
09:23Let's go.
09:24Come on.
09:25Come on Sherlock.
09:26Yes, good boy.
09:28That's the one in it.
09:28Come on.
09:28Stop that car.
09:29Stop that car.
09:31Oh, you.
09:32Get out.
09:33Come on.
09:34Get out of the car.
09:35Where are you guys?
09:36Come on.
09:38Gary.
09:40What's she doing here?
09:42You.
09:43Gary.
09:44I'll produce your car with her.
09:45You dirty house killer.
09:48Gary, I hate you.
09:50Because he'll piss in your wardrobe.
09:53And let me tell you something else.
09:56Let me tell you something else about this man.
09:59It is disgusting.
10:01Yeah.
10:01Yeah.
10:01Let's go in.
10:02We'll go inside.
10:03Oh, no.
10:04Let me tell you something else.
10:05We'll do it inside.
10:06The rigors are being creative in the police force.
10:09I mean, you see, that was Gary's wife out there.
10:11Who's going mad.
10:13He's got trouble at home.
10:14And she's driven us inside to rehearse now.
10:19And, you know, it's not the same.
10:22We can get it together in there.
10:23I've got this opportunity.
10:24I'm creative, as you know.
10:26And I'm taking this seriously.
10:28This opportunity that Christopher Biggins has given me, personally.
10:33And no one else is taking it seriously.
10:35The ART are mucking about.
10:38I don't know.
10:38There's no focus.
10:40It's my job as opposed to pull that in, get the focus, and get the show on.
10:44Because the show must go on.
10:45So, you guys are great, though.
10:47You know.
10:48Just stick with it, yeah?
10:49Right, mate?
10:50Close.
10:51That's it.
10:52Let's light it.
10:54Go on, then.
10:55It's going to rise above that.
10:57Or it should do, if you've got it right.
10:59Look at it.
11:01Tastes nice.
11:03It could be a bit sweeter, though.
11:04Yeah, that's right.
11:10They're just hanging.
11:11Right.
11:13It's because they haven't got any helium in it.
11:15Well, no.
11:15We can't, of course, helium.
11:17Ah, but...
11:20I thought, if we put them on bits of wire like that, they'll look like they've got helium in it.
11:30Can we get, can you get the camera down?
11:33Because, as Keith Floyd would say, the food is the star of the show, not Mild Hudson.
11:39Can you get that?
11:41I've got one here that I've, it's not one I've made before, but you know.
11:44But, um, I'm going to actually cobble two of them together to get a very good-looking cake.
11:53Take two and...
11:56Action!
11:57Stop the car!
12:00Oh, easy!
12:01Oh, you're fine!
12:02No, no, no.
12:02You just kicked him in his jaw.
12:06Can we do it again?
12:08Take three.
12:09Right.
12:09And take five.
12:11One more time if I'm really serious, yeah?
12:13That's where you go.
12:13Okay.
12:14And take twelve.
12:16And...
12:17Action!
12:17Alright!
12:19Stop the car!
12:20Stop the car!
12:22Go!
12:23Go!
12:23Go!
12:23Go!
12:24Go!
12:25Go!
12:26Come here!
12:28Oh, my God!
12:29What's that mean?
12:30Hold on!
12:32It's not a move!
12:32You've broken me gun!
12:34Oh!
12:35That's it!
12:36You can't do anything!
12:38It's broken my gun!
12:45It's broken my gun!
12:47It's broken my balls now!
12:47Because you...
12:48I'm mucking about!
12:50Ah!
12:51Ah!
12:52Ah!
12:56Ah!
12:56Ah!
12:57Make sure the wings...
12:57Oh, I've got them now.
12:58Yeah, alright.
12:59Okay.
13:02In order for the wings to stay on...
13:05We have to add this mixture.
13:08Here, you see?
13:08He's only trying to help.
13:10Oh, no.
13:11It's alright, mate.
13:12We can have the bowl later on, if you like.
13:15Now...
13:17Popping the wings...
13:19On the...
13:19Oops!
13:20On the top there.
13:22Et voila!
13:23One fairy cake.
13:25Tell you what, Bones, I think we're on for a winner here, mate.
13:27More petrol, do you think?
13:29Why not?
13:29Open your eyes.
13:31Open them now?
13:31Open them.
13:32Ta-na!
13:34I like it.
13:36Great.
13:37That's the world's first Smiler McAfee...
13:39Have a look at that.
13:39The world's first Smiler McAfee shot.
13:41Give me a ball, Ray.
13:42Knocked Smiler's teeth out for a pound, sir.
13:44Knocked Smiler's teeth out for a pound.
13:47Oh, what a shot!
13:51I just, honestly...
13:54All the flames, and we just thought we'd just push the dog through.
13:59And, er...
14:01And the dog sort of...
14:02It sort of jumped, but it sort of just...
14:05It just...
14:07It just all went black, and just...
14:10We tried to pad it out, but it just...
14:15Is he completely dead?
14:18Um...
14:19Of course he's completely dead.
14:22It stinks of petrol.
14:24Right, right.
14:26Listen.
14:27All of...
14:28And I...
14:28I'm just going to ask one favour.
14:30Okay?
14:33You're going to do this for me.
14:35He said, we've got to keep this under wraps for a couple of days.
14:39We've got the Open Day coming up.
14:40It's a very big day for us.
14:42It's an unfortunate thing.
14:43It's an accident.
14:44It could have happened to anyone.
14:46And...
14:47Er...
14:48Please.
14:49Please.
14:50Keep this under wraps until we have time after the big Open Day
14:54to break it to the, er...
14:57To the Commissioner.
14:58In the right atmosphere, in the right surroundings.
15:01Yeah?
15:01So if we can turn the camera off...
15:03We can get that bloody door in it.
15:05It's amazing how heavy it is.
15:05Get it.
15:06Get it.
15:06Put away somewhere.
15:07Out of the way.
15:08Put it in the cupboard.
15:09Or something like that.
15:09It sounds good.
15:13I'm as sorry as anyone about this.
15:18I mean, no-one wants to kill anything, do they, when they...
15:25...when the course of their work.
15:27It would have been a good trick, though, wouldn't it?
15:31Now, men, the hostage show is going to be great.
15:35But it's not quite there yet.
15:36Where it is, it's there.
15:38It's not there.
15:39Right.
15:40So what colour would I be?
15:41Well, I think...
15:42Do you know what I think?
15:42I think yellow would be great.
15:44And we could...
15:45It just sort of, you know, it has a feel for you.
15:47I think red for you would be modest.
15:49And if we get a lovely, vivid blue, because your eyes, you know,
15:52would really bring that out.
15:53It would really bring out your eyes.
15:55It would be wonderful.
15:55If we all bring that out.
15:56You're like, this is out.
15:57This is out.
15:58I know what you're saying.
15:59I know what you're saying.
16:00I know what you're saying.
16:01Just go along with it, mate.
16:02Just follow it through.
16:03This is out.
16:04All right.
16:05But we'll dress up.
16:06We'll dress up.
16:07Trust me.
16:08Trust me.
16:09Okay, so Strings is directing the show.
16:11Yes.
16:12So I'm off with you.
16:12They're all perfect.
16:13Absolutely right.
16:14Strings are having a discussion.
16:15I've done a bit before.
16:17Yeah.
16:17I've heard.
16:18So what are we dressed in there?
16:21I think the sergeants made a good point.
16:23Yeah.
16:24Is that they would be wearing it.
16:26They don't feel comfortable with it.
16:27Fuck!
16:28You know, you sort out what you want to wear.
16:30Is that right?
16:31I think...
16:31Chris, you don't have to look at it like...
16:32We'll compensate.
16:33We'll compensate.
16:34Sorry, listen.
16:35You sort out.
16:36And whatever you feel, come do it away.
16:38It was a working dog.
16:40It would want the open air, the open spaces.
16:44All right.
16:45Come.
16:46Let's just do it.
16:54Someone in the nice sunshine.
17:01Now don't you tell it to the trees, cause they might tell the birds and bees my song.
17:08I don't think so, Ray, but good try.
17:11Right.
17:12I have a question for you.
17:13Yeah.
17:13Do you think I need a touch of make-up for the day?
17:15Well, it can help.
17:18Are we going to be videoing this on the day?
17:19You know, sort of a record for all of you to keep, to look back on something, you know.
17:23Good idea.
17:23I think it's a good idea.
17:24There is.
17:24There is.
17:25Documentary crew's video.
17:25Oh, fine.
17:26Right.
17:26Well, that's great.
17:27I think you do.
17:28What we need to do is we need to sort of flatten out the face a bit and then put
17:32a bit on.
17:32You know, get rid of those pop marks, those freckles, you know, do a bit of eye make-up.
17:36It'll be great.
17:36And what we could, well, hey, there's something missing with you, Ray.
17:43And I have the very thing.
17:46Yeah.
17:46It'll look great.
17:48What's that, then?
17:49I mean, I've very rarely seen D.I. Beach get stressed out like he has this week, but
17:53it's a big day.
17:55Um, things haven't gone quite according to plan.
17:57It's a bit thin on the ground with Joe Public.
17:59However, I think that they will come.
18:01I think they'll come in their droves.
18:02Roll up, roll up.
18:04Come and meet your local undercover police squad.
18:07Free fairy cake for each person.
18:09Um, the important thing is that, um, Commissioner can see what we're doing here today.
18:16And, uh, we get results.
18:18If you can just look over my shoulder, you can see the kind of thing that we're talking about here.
18:26Sorry.
18:28And, um, it's not really essential that we get a lot of people here today.
18:34What is essential is we get the right people here.
18:37And, uh, and I think we've got the right person.
18:40The person I want to come and see, uh, see what we're doing.
18:43As long as he's aware, um, that's all that matters to me.
18:49Come and roll up, roll up, roll up.
18:51Look at the smile, smile at the coffee space.
18:53One pound fifty of coconut.
18:55Come and get your cakes.
18:56Your very own homemade cakes made by the governor of the undercover unit here.
19:01And this fruitcake, I make the best fruitcake this side of London.
19:04So come on.
19:05There you go.
19:06There you go.
19:07Right, that's one pound fifty, please.
19:08That's a bit tight.
19:09It's me that wants to go.
19:10No, let him have a go.
19:11It's still one fifty.
19:12But you gave him the ball.
19:19That's it.
19:20And the next one.
19:21Where'd you go from there?
19:23Oh, yeah.
19:23Hey!
19:26Unlucky, madam.
19:28Unlucky.
19:29I'll tell you what.
19:30You have another three goes and I'll give you a coconut banana.
19:33That's not a winner.
19:34It's twenty-one.
19:35No, it isn't.
19:35It's twenty-two.
19:36Nine, six, and seven is twenty-one.
19:37No, it isn't.
19:37It's twenty-one.
19:38Hang on.
19:39Nine and seven.
19:41Yeah.
19:41The sixteen.
19:42And six is twenty-two.
19:43That's twenty-two.
19:43That's twenty-two.
19:43No, it isn't.
19:45Twenty-one wins.
19:46Is it twenty-two?
19:47What?
19:47There's no need to be...
19:50You're supposed to be an accountant.
19:52Roll up, roll up.
19:53Not that smart.
19:54I'll smell them.
19:54Exactly.
19:56Oh, mate.
19:57Wait.
20:02Hello, Uncle.
20:04How you doing, mate?
20:06Good to see you, boy.
20:07Good to see you.
20:07How's that?
20:08Beach.
20:09Nice to see you.
20:09Good to see you as well.
20:11Can we match your...
20:11Oh, my God.
20:12What is Sherlock?
20:14I'm Sherlock.
20:15I've been very worried.
20:15Can I take that down?
20:16Yeah.
20:17He's here, sir.
20:18Can I take that down?
20:18Hello.
20:21I've got a pair of tights up, Paul.
20:22Yeah, mate.
20:23Really good.
20:23Excellent.
20:24Yeah, come on.
20:26You can.
20:27See, we've got the BBC making a film.
20:30Really?
20:31I didn't know about that.
20:32Cooley Watson's been really worried, really fretful.
20:33Sergeant Ash, you've met Proud to be of service.
20:36Good to see you.
20:37And Christopher Biggins.
20:38Christopher Biggins.
20:38Very nice to see you, too.
20:40Very nice to see you.
20:44And this is your little...
20:50This is Poodle Watson.
20:52Poodle Watson.
20:53Sherlock's brother.
20:54Hello.
20:55Hello, Poodle.
20:56Hello, Poodle.
20:56Hello, Poodle.
20:57Can we find Sherlock?
20:58Yeah, because he's been very fretful.
21:00Oh, really?
21:01They've never been separated at night before.
21:03Oh, dear.
21:03They will be today.
21:03They've been here all week.
21:04What a shame.
21:05Can I get you run a coffee or anything?
21:07Yes.
21:09I'm completely useless at that.
21:10Come on, Chrissie.
21:12Let me take on some.
21:15Two for you.
21:16I'll hold the last one.
21:17I think Watson would be better at this than me.
21:18Come on.
21:19Oh, very nearly.
21:21Very near.
21:23Oh, shame.
21:26Yes!
21:26I think the lady wins a prize.
21:28Oh, I didn't really get anywhere near.
21:30The lady wins a prize, Ray, please.
21:32She didn't knock it off.
21:34Can I give you that?
21:34Very nice matches.
21:36No, bigger prize, Ray.
21:37Is this big?
21:38Come on, come on.
21:39That's the biggest we've got.
21:40Have we got anything bigger, though?
21:41Something bigger?
21:42No.
21:43That's all we need.
21:43This is a special prize.
21:45But we have the big stuff I'm in here.
21:46No.
21:47No.
21:47No, sir.
21:48That's a prize.
21:49It's not a prize.
21:49Don't be silly.
21:50Come on, Ray.
21:51Come on, Ray.
21:53This is fun, Ray.
21:54It should have been a coconut.
21:55Yeah, there we go, sir.
21:56Can somebody take this, Mark?
21:58Yeah, there we go.
21:59There we are.
22:00Oh, thank you.
22:00Well done, sir.
22:01Thank you very much for the time being.
22:02Very good.
22:03Commissioner, gathered guests, you see before you, this moment, the motorcycle pyramid.
22:09And present.
22:11Now.
22:12Very, very good.
22:15This is a very, very tricky exercise, indeed.
22:18It would look quite sensational, of course, if we had a motorbike.
22:23of performance by a nation!
22:24If there were no crown faces.
22:31If there were no crown faces.
22:32If there were only just you and all.
22:42What, then?
22:44I love you.
23:22Fantastic, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, darlings, one.
23:31They've been rehearsing for weeks, and you can tell, I think.
23:37Ladies and gentlemen, we come to the finale of today's activities, the pièce de résistance.
23:42What you're going to witness today is something the public doesn't normally see,
23:45but it's everyday work for us, I'm afraid.
23:48Violent criminals in desperate situations.
23:52Now, you're going to hear cars chasing the crackle of gunfire,
23:57but please don't be alarmed.
23:58We are in complete control of the situation.
24:03Okay, and action.
24:08Robert, you see, going into the front of the road.
24:11He's going to hold the car.
24:12He's a sicker.
24:13Get out of the car.
24:14Oh, damn, motherfucker, what's up, man?
24:15Damn, what's up, brother?
24:17Yo, yo, yo, what's up, man?
24:18Damn, what's up?
24:19Stay down.
24:21Oh, no.
24:21Stay down.
24:22Stay down.
24:22He's neatly surrounded, as you can see.
24:24Shoot him, Bizarre.
24:26Shoot him.
24:27Oh, Billy.
24:27Hold on.
24:28Put the weapon down.
24:34Well, Gary's missus turned up, and, er...
24:37Well, if my missus had turned up like that and made a fool of herself,
24:41there would be a slack body tonight, like that, like that.
24:43I mean, well, Mez knows.
24:46Hey, Mez.
24:47You said you weren't going to print that, as well.
24:49Naughty boy.
24:51Why are you doing this to me?
24:53Because I love you.
24:54There's no reason for you.
24:55If you loved me, you wouldn't do this.
24:57I would, because I love you, and you've got to smile about me.
24:59What do you do, because you're not showing me your name?
25:00Look, can you do this?
25:01I don't love you.
25:02You're showing me a deep hate, a deep hate.
25:05That's what you're showing me.
25:06Oh, I love you.
25:07Five minutes.
25:08Can we just finish the same?
25:09Do you mind?
25:10Yeah, I'm just trying to take it out of a good way.
25:13Come on.
25:14Say that.
25:14What are you doing?
25:15There's no need for this.
25:16There's no need for this.
25:17I love you, too, baby.
25:18Look, what you've got to do now, right, is just go home.
25:21I want to stay on your own, Gary.
25:23It's not fair.
25:24Look, why don't you do it?
25:25I haven't done anything wrong.
25:26I know you...
25:27Something that the commissioner didn't actually expect as well.
25:31And I think it's concluded the day's activities with quite a dramatic finish.
25:37Well, that's it.
25:38Well done.
25:38I think you all...
25:39Give yourself a big round.
25:40Come on.
25:45Terrific show.
25:46I've enjoyed myself.
25:47I hope you've enjoyed doing it.
25:49But let's not get too starry about it.
25:51Get carried away.
25:51We've got proper work to do.
25:53All right.
25:53I do appreciate, as you will probably find now, that when you've done a performance like
25:57this, that there's always an adrenaline rush.
26:00And I'm feeling it now.
26:01It takes time for you to come down.
26:03So, you know, you're a normal person now.
26:06Just take it easy.
26:08Chris, you've probably got something you can add to this.
26:10I have.
26:10I have.
26:10I'll get them.
26:11Come down.
26:11All stand up.
26:12Could you stand up there and just relax, sort of, just throw yourself around.
26:15And let's have a nice bend over.
26:17Almost touch your toes.
26:18I'm not doing it, Chris.
26:19That's it.
26:20All right.
26:20Well, just do a seating down there.
26:22And as you come up, take a nice big breath.
26:26And as you take the air out of your body, say, I am not a star, I am normal.
26:33Here we go.
26:34I am not a star, I am normal.
26:39Here we go.
26:39Right then.
26:39Down again.
26:40Down again.
26:41Well, it's been an interesting day.
26:43I've enjoyed myself immensely and I've won a prize.
26:48And we'll be reviewing the whole situation, obviously, in terms of how this will continue.
26:53But we've had a lot of fun, my wife and I.
26:55Yes, certainly.
26:56Well, how do you come?
26:57Sorry, boys.
26:58I am not a star, I am a normal person.
27:04Very good.
27:05Here we go.
27:05Down again.
27:06The funding situation for this operation, well, it's unfair for me to comment about that.
27:11I think, obviously, I'm optimistic that we can do something about it.
27:15And I'm sure everything will be fine.
27:19That's it.
27:20Do you feel better?
27:23Here we go.
27:24I am not a star, I am a normal person.
27:30Well, I don't really think I can be answering any more questions now.
27:33Thank you to the BBC and it's very heavy.
27:38Why didn't you tell me?
27:40Why did you make me...
27:42I'm trying.
27:43You must have known what was under the bloody table.
27:46I'm trying to tell you, you just shut me up again.
27:49I'm trying.
27:50Well, hopefully you won't recognise it.
27:52It looks more like a Labrador now.
27:54Oh, shut up.
27:55I'm going to...
27:56Shut up.
27:57Ready or not, here I come.
28:01I'm going to get you.
28:04Ready or not, here I come.
28:08I'm going to get you.
28:11Ready or not, here I come.
28:14I'm going to get you, get you, get you.
28:22I'm going to get you, get you.
28:44Commissioner.
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