- 2 days ago
First broadcast 10th April 1975.
In order to fiddle his tax returns, George has been claiming for a non-existent son for the past nineteen years but is in danger of being found out when a tax inspector is about to visit.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Paula Wilcox - Chrissy
Sally Thomsett - Jo
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Doug Fisher - Larry
Anthony Sharp - Mr. Matthews
John Carlin - Barman
In order to fiddle his tax returns, George has been claiming for a non-existent son for the past nineteen years but is in danger of being found out when a tax inspector is about to visit.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Paula Wilcox - Chrissy
Sally Thomsett - Jo
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Doug Fisher - Larry
Anthony Sharp - Mr. Matthews
John Carlin - Barman
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
00:30Oh, my God.
01:00Oh, my God.
01:16Jo, when you have egg on toast,
01:20it's sort of traditional to have an egg in there somewhere.
01:23I mean, I've looked on both sides of the toast
01:24and there doesn't seem to be one.
01:27Well, we haven't got any.
01:29So you're having toast on toast.
01:31Oh, great.
01:32I could make a sandwich if I had some toast to put in it.
01:35Well, we've got a slice of bacon.
01:37That's nearly like an egg.
01:39I mean, look, how about dripping?
01:41I mean, I like dripping.
01:42Oh, well, I'll pour a bucket of water over you.
01:44Listen, I thought you went shopping yesterday.
01:47Oh, yeah, I did.
01:48But Tesco's got this new policy.
01:50They want money in exchange for their food now.
01:53Listen, there's a month's rent in the book.
01:55You could have borrowed a quid.
01:56I have several times.
01:59How several?
02:01Several, several.
02:02God, do you hear that?
02:04She's been dipping in the rent book again.
02:05Well, you mustn't be too hard on her.
02:06I mean, she probably did it for the best.
02:08I mean, there are times when you have to...
02:09Oh, I see.
02:09You've been at it as well, have you?
02:11Honestly, I can't trust either of you.
02:12There should be 70 quid in here.
02:1480.
02:15No, well, I borrowed 10 quid.
02:18I mean, come on, there are times when you, you know...
02:2012 quid?
02:24Look, I had to pay the rates, the gas and the electricity.
02:27They were all final demands.
02:28So you fitted it away again, I see.
02:30Well, what did you have the ten for?
02:32Huh?
02:32Well, I took this girl out, you know, I mean, just for a bite.
02:35Couldn't you have bitten her cheaper than that?
02:37Listen, I'm not the only one to blame.
02:40Now, we're in trouble here.
02:41How are you going to tell this to Roper?
02:42Oh, notice the smooth way it shifted from I to we to you.
02:46Listen, it's your taste, Mr Roper.
02:48I went down there last month.
02:49Yeah, and I went down the month before.
02:51Oh, well, we can wait till Monday.
02:53I mean, it's not due till then.
02:54Or even Tuesday, it's not overdue till then.
02:57Now, I'll tell you what, I'll wait and I'll catch him in a good mood.
03:00When is doomsday?
03:06Yeah, well, you might as well go ahead and buy it, I suppose.
03:10Buy what?
03:11What?
03:11What?
03:12Well, you said something about a new hat.
03:13That was yesterday morning, Joel.
03:16Yeah.
03:17Oh, I know it was, but I've been considering it.
03:20Oh.
03:21Well, I was thinking of buying myself one of those that sort of hide the face.
03:25Yeah, damn good idea.
03:26I mean, I really should get one to go with my best coat.
03:32Where am I going to find a ten-year-old hat?
03:34Well, just don't spend too much, that's all.
03:36George, I've got to have something new.
03:39My wardrobe looks like the window at the Oxfam shop.
03:42Try not to spend more than five.
03:44What, pounds?
03:46Well, there's not a lot you can get for five pence these days, George.
03:49Maybe you've got a natural beauty, Mildred.
03:52Doesn't need expensive adornments.
03:55Oh, you can be sickening when you are trying to sell yourself money.
03:59Yeah, that's all you think about, innit, eh, new clothes?
04:01And it always has to be this year's style.
04:04Ridiculous.
04:05You don't get me shortening my trousers every couple of months.
04:07They see you come in these fashion shops.
04:10Yes, George.
04:11But not very often.
04:13Here's your post.
04:14That's all these froggy designers, innit?
04:16I mean, they do it deliberately.
04:18Let's change everything round, they say.
04:19Mildred Roper, she's daft enough to buy it.
04:22Seem to think I've made a...
04:23Oh, my God.
04:25What's the matter?
04:28Inland revenue?
04:29Well, yeah, it is all right.
04:31It's not important.
04:35I can see where most of our money's gone.
04:37It's gone on this item here.
04:39We're spending far too much on miscellaneous.
04:41Well, I had to put something under it,
04:42otherwise the figures didn't add up.
04:44You put damn nearly everything under it.
04:46We'll just have to economise next month.
04:47I mean, look.
04:48I mean, look at this phone bill.
04:50Well, we could have it taken out.
04:51Yeah, but then how would we get in touch with our friends?
04:53Well, they could ring us.
04:57Well, just ignore her.
04:59I mean, look at this electricity bill.
05:01I mean, that's fire.
05:01That's what we're spending all our money on.
05:03Oh, well, that can't possibly be on our bill
05:04because it belongs to the Ropers.
05:06What?
05:07I can be just as daft as you.
05:09Listen, you two,
05:10would you please take this seriously?
05:11I am taking it seriously,
05:12but you can't economise 60-odd pounds with him 48 hours.
05:16And if that's Larry, we're not lending him anything.
05:21We're not lending anything.
05:23Push off.
05:23Oh, just a bit of sugar.
05:25I mean, what are mates for if you can't borrow off them?
05:27That actually is right, yeah.
05:29Come in.
05:30Lend us 68 quid.
05:31I think I prefer to push off.
05:32No, come on.
05:33I'm being serious.
05:33How are you fixed?
05:34I mean, how much you got?
05:35Well, I had a couple of spoonfuls.
05:37I put them on me cornflakes.
05:37No money.
05:39Oh.
05:40Oh, well, I've got a fiver.
05:41That's not going to do you much good.
05:42Well, it'll help a bit.
05:43No, it won't, because you're not getting it.
05:45And it's no good you two getting all sexy
05:47and pressing up against me, innit?
05:49For a fiver?
05:50I could make it six, no?
05:53Just forget it, will you?
05:54Yeah, I'll tell you what.
05:55I could help you out later this afternoon.
05:57I've got this dead cert in the 2.30 Sandown Park.
05:59Oh, that's it.
05:59We won't even have a fiver.
06:01No, no, and it's on the telly, so...
06:02Well, I'm going to go to the shops
06:04and see if I can get some credit.
06:05From whom?
06:06Well, there's that man at the Ironman,
06:09because he fancies me.
06:10Oh, great.
06:10We can have a nail omelette for lunch.
06:12If we had some eggs.
06:13Well, I'm going to chat up the man in the corner shop.
06:16He's over 70.
06:17Exactly, so I'll be safe.
06:19Bye.
06:20Here I am.
06:21Front page.
06:22That's the back page.
06:23Yeah, I know it's the back page.
06:24The horse is called front page.
06:27He can't lose.
06:28He's unhandicapped.
06:29He's been placed twice, and look at the odds.
06:32Eight to one.
06:33Yeah, that's pretty good.
06:35Um, listen, are you sure he's going to win?
06:37He can't lose.
06:39Now, wait a minute.
06:40I've got it, George.
06:44Just the one I wanted.
06:46Now, look, don't look.
06:47I want to put it on.
06:48Turn your eyes.
06:56Now you can look.
07:01Well?
07:02You look like Lee Marvin.
07:08Oh, that is typical of you.
07:12The woman in the shop said it was a one-off.
07:15It probably is.
07:15They wouldn't make two lines.
07:16How much was it?
07:20Half price.
07:21Half what price?
07:23I didn't ask.
07:25Look, what were you reading just now?
07:27Yeah, oh, it's nothing.
07:28Don't change the subject.
07:29Oh, it's that letter you got this morning, isn't it?
07:31Yeah.
07:31Yeah, from the income tax people.
07:33Might as well see it, I suppose.
07:35They want me to go in and see them.
07:37Well, it's just a technicality.
07:39George?
07:41Who is Leslie Roper?
07:42Yes, I've been meaning to tell you about him.
07:46He's our son.
07:47Pardon?
07:48Now, I know what you're going to say.
07:49We haven't got a son.
07:50Yes, that was it.
07:52I was filling the form in and, well, I accidentally claimed for one.
07:56I put the tick in the wrong place.
07:58Oh, I see.
07:59Then you accidentally gave him a name.
08:00Well, it seemed easier than crossing out the tick.
08:03Well, they don't like it if you mess the form up.
08:05Oh, you are a little crook.
08:06Now then, Mildred.
08:07Now, you just get right down there and you sort it out before it goes through.
08:11Oh, it's a bit late for that.
08:13See, I've been claiming for him since 1955.
08:24You know, I admire that.
08:26Straight in with both feet.
08:27No messing.
08:28He put the lot on to win.
08:29£12?
08:30Well, we didn't have the rent money.
08:31We might as well not have all of it.
08:33Brave.
08:33That's the word for him.
08:34Brave.
08:35Or daft.
08:36There's another word.
08:36Now, come on.
08:37You said it couldn't lose, didn't you?
08:38Oh, it's a strong little horse.
08:40It can't lose.
08:41Well, not by much anyway.
08:42What?
08:43Well, you can't hold me responsible if he doesn't win.
08:46Doesn't win is losing, Larry.
08:47Oh, this set's on the blink again.
08:50What time do they kick off?
08:51No, no.
08:53Chrissy, in races, they don't actually kick the horses off.
08:57Come on.
08:57It's nearly half past two.
08:58Look, hold it up.
08:59Right.
08:59Back a bit.
09:00Back a bit.
09:01Back a bit.
09:01A bit to your left.
09:02A bit more.
09:03Yeah.
09:03A whack on the side usually helps.
09:05No, he's doing his best.
09:06Leave him alone.
09:07Back a bit more.
09:08A bit more to the left.
09:10A bit more to the left.
09:11Keep going.
09:11More to the left.
09:13Keep going.
09:14Right.
09:14How's that?
09:15I wouldn't know, would I?
09:17I've seen better pictures on a radio.
09:20Hey, stop.
09:20That's it.
09:21That's it.
09:21Leave it.
09:22That's the croupier's choice.
09:24Great robber.
09:25And the last to go down is Flash Lizzie.
09:28Very good tone.
09:29We're all right.
09:29They're just lining up.
09:30Look at those elegant flanks, eh?
09:32The ears pricked.
09:33The nostrils flaring.
09:35Yeah, and that's only John Rickman.
09:37Hey, there's ours.
09:38Number three.
09:39Yeah, front page.
09:40Uh, pink, maroon sleeves, blue cap and collar.
09:44Nice.
09:46Hey, listen.
09:47It's being ridden by the Queen Mother.
09:50She owns it.
09:52I hope.
09:53Yeah, there we are.
09:54Eight to one.
09:54Oh, we're going to get all our red money back with some left over.
09:57How much you put on it?
09:58Nothing.
09:58I went off it.
10:00Why?
10:01You're back in it.
10:02You're dead unlucky with horses.
10:03They hang about there nearly off.
10:04And they're off.
10:05They're off?
10:06Tea, caddy and dood vega.
10:07Where's this?
10:07Where's he gone?
10:08Beyond the white one.
10:08Beyond the white one.
10:09Beyond the white one.
10:10Beyond the blue thing on it.
10:12It's Whistler's Land.
10:13Taking an early lead from the red box.
10:14It's all right.
10:14There's bags of tea.
10:15Whacking one.
10:16Whacking one.
10:16Whacking one.
10:16I've got the groceries.
10:18And front page coming up trolling.
10:20And at the first fence, it's Whistler's.
10:28Well, no wonder they want to see you, George.
10:34Nineteen years and you're still claiming for him.
10:37Yeah, well, there's a reason for that.
10:38What?
10:38I've sent him on to university.
10:41You know what?
10:41I think one of them thinking our son was only half educated.
10:44George, he doesn't exist.
10:46You've been claiming tax relief on this, er...
10:48Leslie.
10:49Yeah, after Leslie Compton.
10:51Sort of tribute, really.
10:52I don't know.
10:54I mean, they'll put you inside, George.
10:56I'll have to sell this house.
10:58Start somewhere else.
10:59A new life.
11:01Brighton, perhaps.
11:03Or Southend.
11:04I've always liked Southend.
11:05Perhaps I could start a little boarding house.
11:06You look forward to this, don't you?
11:08Whose side are you on?
11:10I'm thinking about it.
11:11What am I going to do, Mildred?
11:13Well, I didn't mean any harm.
11:15Can't you go in?
11:16Say it was your idea.
11:17Look, George.
11:20Now, don't panic.
11:21I'm going to make you a nice, strong cup of tea.
11:24We'll sit down.
11:25Discuss it calmly.
11:27Then you can panic.
11:30Hello.
11:31Listen, our television's gone on the blink.
11:32We wonder if we can come down and have a quick look at yours.
11:34Yeah, something we want to watch.
11:34It's on now, actually.
11:35Yes, come in, love.
11:35Do you want a cup of tea?
11:37All right.
11:38There's nothing on except racing.
11:39No?
11:40Oh, well, watch that instead.
11:43Oh.
11:44Sorry.
11:48Did it take a long time to warm up?
11:50Huh?
11:50Well, no, not once you've plugged it in.
11:52Have you got a bet on a horse or something?
11:57No, no.
11:58Have you?
11:59No.
11:59Good, good.
12:00Come on.
12:01Come on.
12:02I think you're really silly.
12:05You fancy taking a wrist like that.
12:06What wrist?
12:07I've got to put my vest on.
12:11Shush!
12:12It's Flash Lizzie from The Great Robber with Whistler's Lad.
12:15Where's it going?
12:15You're playing a challenge on the rails.
12:17Groupier's Choice is begging, but T-Caddy is coming up strongly.
12:20It's Flash Lizzie and The Great Robber, neck and neck.
12:22What a finish.
12:23And at the post, it's Flash Lizzie from The Great Robber with Whistler's Lad in third place.
12:28Followed by T-Caddy, Groupier's Choice, Doomfagan, and training him now at the rear of the field,
12:34front page.
12:35Yeah, well, there you go, then.
12:42Ah.
12:43Which horse was it you weren't betting on?
12:46Er, well, all of them, but mainly front page.
12:49We weren't betting on them.
12:50If you'll excuse us, we've just got to kill somebody.
12:53Now, listen, it's not my fault.
12:54All I said was it was a strong little horse.
12:56It would have to be, wouldn't it?
12:57It's just taken the three of us for a ride.
13:02Aren't they going to wait for tea?
13:03What did you say to them?
13:06Nothing.
13:06Why don't you always blame me?
13:08I don't, George.
13:09It's just...
13:09What have you done to my new act?
13:11Oh, yeah.
13:12Yeah.
13:13Yeah.
13:26Oh, get it over with, George.
13:28Ring them.
13:29Over here.
13:29Yeah, sorry.
13:32I'll, um...
13:33I'll say, um...
13:34I'll say, um...
13:38Yeah, I'll say, um...
13:41What shall I say?
13:43Oh, just play it down, George.
13:46Drop it into the conversation in a casual manner
13:49that you've been fiddling them for the last...
13:51How do I know what you say?
13:52I can't very well be...
13:53Hello.
13:54Oh, uh...
13:55Inman Revenue.
13:56Yes.
13:57Could I speak to, uh...
13:58Yours faithfully, T.W. Matthews.
14:03Oh, Bournemouth.
14:04A boarding house in Bournemouth would be nice.
14:06Eh?
14:07Yeah, and very Andrew to Parker.
14:08It's come visiting days.
14:09Why don't you shut your...
14:10Oh, I know.
14:11Oh, I know.
14:12Mr. Matthews, yes.
14:13I've, uh...
14:14I've just received your letter.
14:15Why do you want my name?
14:19Oh!
14:19Oh, yes, of course.
14:21Roper.
14:22Yes, G. Roper.
14:23Yeah.
14:23You've asked me to come in.
14:25Well, I would if I could, but...
14:27I've got this bad back, you see.
14:30Yes, it's an old war wound, and I can't get out much.
14:33Oh, he's old.
14:34No, no.
14:35No, it's nothing much.
14:36Just a German sniper's bullet.
14:39Yeah, well, some days it hardly hurts at all.
14:43Oh, no, I wouldn't want you to put you to that trouble.
14:45Well, if you really think...
14:48He's coming round here.
14:55George, there weren't any German snipers in Putney.
15:01Can't you see him?
15:03Tell him I'm dead.
15:04Oh, okay.
15:06And where do I say you were phoning from?
15:09No, George.
15:10You have made your bed,
15:12and now you can stew in it.
15:16Hello, darling.
15:17I'm going to the shops
15:18to get myself a matching gun belt and...
15:22Howdy.
15:27Um...
15:28Is that...
15:31Is Mr Roper free?
15:33Oh, yes, dear.
15:34But not for very much longer.
15:36Come on, my love.
15:36George, company.
15:38Bye-bye, dear.
15:40Uh, Mr Roper?
15:41Yeah.
15:42Uh, I've come about the, uh...
15:44The rent, you see.
15:45It's due today, actually.
15:47Yeah, I know that, son.
15:48And, uh...
15:49Well, owing to circumstances, uh...
15:51Son.
15:52Yes?
15:53Well, oh, nothing, nothing.
15:54Go on.
15:55Uh, according to circumstances beyond, uh...
15:57Son.
15:57We find ourselves a little bit shorter...
16:02Hey, you could pass for 19 in a bad light.
16:06Thanks very much.
16:07A bit shorter...
16:08Oh, sit down, sit down, sit down.
16:10But...
16:11Well, we...
16:12We can't pay the rent, actually.
16:15Oh, that's all right.
16:15We'll talk about that later,
16:17cos, uh...
16:17I've got a little proposition to put to you, son.
16:22Yeah, I've, uh...
16:31I've been thinking about that.
16:32You see, in some small way,
16:33I feel partly responsible for you losing your money on that horse.
16:36Yeah, well, if you're expecting an argument,
16:38don't hold your breath.
16:39No, well, see, the point is,
16:40I don't want you to think any of the less of me because of it.
16:42Oh, we couldn't think any less of you.
16:44Good.
16:45Yeah, yeah, well, anyway.
16:47Uh, see, since I was down here,
16:49coming down here to scrounge some butter off you...
16:51No way.
16:52No, I haven't finished yet.
16:52Hang on.
16:53Since I was coming down,
16:54I thought, uh...
16:56Well, I thought I'd...
16:57I ought to make it up to you.
16:58I don't believe it.
17:00No, well, fair's fair.
17:02Here I am.
17:03That's a dead cert for the three o'clock Newmarket.
17:05Now, if you can lend me a couple of...
17:06Ooh!
17:08When he arrived at about half past one,
17:11I introduced you to him as Leslie.
17:13See?
17:14Leslie Roper.
17:15You chack him up a bit and Bob's your uncle.
17:17Bob's my uncle?
17:18Yeah, and I'm your father.
17:18All you've got to do is call me Dad a couple of times
17:24while he's here, you see?
17:25Now, try it.
17:26Go on.
17:26Try it now.
17:27Call me Dad.
17:29Dad.
17:33Dad.
17:34No, I couldn't do it.
17:35Of course you can.
17:37And it would help if you'd try and look a bit more like me.
17:40I definitely couldn't do it.
17:42Look, you scratch my back, son, and I'll scratch yours.
17:44What, while he's here?
17:45No, no.
17:48Look, it isn't any easier for me, you know.
17:49I mean, God knows, if I had a son,
17:51I wouldn't want one like you.
17:52I mean, no offence.
17:53Oh, none taken.
17:55But, I mean, don't you think it's sort of rather, uh, dishonest?
17:58Uh, coming back to the little matter of the rent.
18:01Well, I mean, when I say dishonest...
18:02I mean, I could insist that you paid it today.
18:05That's blackmail, Mr. Roper.
18:08Well, I mean, not blackmail.
18:09It's more sort of, um...
18:11It's more sort of, uh...
18:13It's blackmail and dishonest kind of thing of it.
18:16You're not going to do it?
18:17Yes.
18:17Oh, good.
18:18I mean, yes, no, I'm not going to do it.
18:20No, I'm a terrible liar.
18:21I'll pay you the rent tomorrow or the day after.
18:24You see what a terrible liar I am?
18:25No, sorry.
18:26Thanks anyway.
18:26I think you're barmy, mate.
18:33You've got to save the month's rent, then.
18:34How can we save it if we haven't got it?
18:36I'd have done it if I were you.
18:37Oh, yeah.
18:38Meet my son.
18:39He's had the operation.
18:41I mean, fancy Roper fiddling his income tax.
18:44Who would have thought it?
18:45I would.
18:46Me too.
18:46And me.
18:47Well, so would I.
18:48But, I mean, who would have thought it?
18:50I mean, see, if I'd have helped him,
18:51I would have been an accessory.
18:53What?
18:54Like a handbag?
18:54No, I mean, I think I did the right thing.
19:00I mean, don't you?
19:01Yeah, well, the pubs are open, shall we?
19:02Now, do you or do you not think that honesty is best policy?
19:05No.
19:06No?
19:06Well, we've got to be honest.
19:07Well, I mean, it's not always them.
19:10What do you think?
19:11Joking apart, I think you're barmy, mate.
19:14You've got to save the month's rent, then.
19:15Perhaps I should have done it.
19:16No, no.
19:17Now, you, uh, you stick to your principles.
19:20He was poor, and he was old.
19:24I mean, Roper doesn't often ask for favours.
19:29True.
19:30I mean, all he wanted was a son.
19:32Half an hour and it would have been over.
19:33And he was willing to pay for it.
19:35The dirty old devil.
19:37What?
19:39Oh, I'm sorry.
19:39It's none of my business.
19:41Two halves of lager.
19:42Uh, would you accept a post-data check, please?
19:45For 30p.
19:47I'll put it on your slate.
19:50Actually, I don't think it would have worked, anyway.
19:51Because I don't think Robin looks like a Leslie.
19:54No, he looks more like a Gordon.
19:56Of course, it could be a girl's name as well.
19:58What, Gordon?
19:59Leslie.
20:00Leslie.
20:01Actually, if you'd wanted a daughter,
20:02you could have done it standing on your head.
20:13I'm afraid I'm a little early.
20:14Well, oh, no, not at all.
20:16Uh, sit down.
20:19Uh, shall we have a drink, Mr, um...
20:22Matthews.
20:23Two teas.
20:24I was thinking more of a sherry, really.
20:26My name?
20:30A sherry would be very nice.
20:32It's, um...
20:33It's, uh, nice weather, isn't it?
20:36Well, I mean, if you, uh, like that sort of thing.
20:38Uh, uh, some people don't.
20:40But if you do, it's nice.
20:44Ah, you don't see a lot of it inside.
20:47Inside?
20:49An office.
20:50Oh, oh, yes.
20:54Well, now, you seem to have been in a bit of a muddle
20:57when you filled in your last tax return.
20:59Oh, well, when you're in pain from a sniper's bullet.
21:02Right.
21:03According to this, your name is 6 Middleton Terrace.
21:07And your address is George Roper.
21:09Ah, now that's a mistake.
21:13Yes, we had realised that, Mr. Terrace.
21:15Oh, Roper.
21:19And you also have your wife down as untaxed income from abroad.
21:24And your son.
21:30Oh, yes, him.
21:32You haven't said which college he's attending.
21:34Oh, look, I think the best thing I can do
21:36is, uh, let him tell you himself.
21:41Are you there, Leslie?
21:44Did you call me, Dad?
21:46Nice to meet you.
21:58Yes.
21:58I was just asking your father which university you attend.
22:01Cambridge.
22:04That would have been nice, but now I'll go to Cambridge.
22:06Oxford.
22:07Yeah.
22:10Good.
22:11And, um, let me see, how old are you?
22:14I'm, uh, um, how old am I, Dad?
22:18Uh, 19-ish.
22:21Well, he worries a lot.
22:25It's a worrying time, University.
22:27What are you reading?
22:29Uh, Diana Jackal.
22:33Oh, those buses.
22:35I waited half an hour and then six of them arrive all at once.
22:38This is Mr. Matthews, the income tax man, my wife.
22:41Hello.
22:41Oh, hello.
22:42And I think you've already met our son, Leslie.
22:45Hello, Mum.
22:51Did you bring me any fruit gums?
22:56George.
22:56Yeah, well, sit down, Milky.
22:58I want a word with you, George.
22:59Not now.
22:59I'm right in the middle of, uh...
23:00I know what you're right in the middle of, George.
23:02I'm right in the middle of discussing.
23:03Go on.
23:04You were saying?
23:05Hmm?
23:05Oh, yes.
23:06The exact date of your son's birth.
23:13Uh, well, um, February-ish.
23:15All thereabouts.
23:17That's right, isn't it, Mildred?
23:18I wouldn't know.
23:19I wasn't there.
23:24Hello, Mummy.
23:26Hello, Daddy.
23:28Listen, I'll bark at what you were saying this morning.
23:30No, no, no, no.
23:33Larry?
23:33Leslie.
23:34Oh, Christ.
23:37You...
23:38You have another son?
23:39Oh, no, no, no.
23:41The wrong side of the blanket.
23:45It makes no difference.
23:46You could have claimed for him as well.
23:48Oh, no, I mean, I wouldn't want to do as...
23:49Could I?
23:50George!
23:52No, I've just got the, uh...
23:54I've just got the, uh, one, um, Leslie.
23:57Uh, which one is it?
23:59Um...
24:00Excuse me.
24:05Oh, hello, Robin.
24:07Larry?
24:09Hello, Daddy.
24:11Hey.
24:13How do you do?
24:14My name's Leslie.
24:15Hmm?
24:17Mr. Roper?
24:17Uh, yeah, well, you see, I, uh, um...
24:21It's, uh...
24:22I'll tell you...
24:23How would it be if I adopted all three of them?
24:26LAUGHTER
24:27APPLAUSE
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