- 1 day ago
First broadcast 6th February 1974.
To allow Jo to go out on a date, Chrissy and Robin agree to baby-sit on her behalf for Mr. and Mrs. Randall - but Robin is severely disappointed.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Paula Wilcox - Chrissy
Sally Thomsett - Jo
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Richard Fraser - Simon Randall
Jo Kendall - Podge Randall
Karl Howman - Philip
Bella Emberg - Podge's Mother
To allow Jo to go out on a date, Chrissy and Robin agree to baby-sit on her behalf for Mr. and Mrs. Randall - but Robin is severely disappointed.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Paula Wilcox - Chrissy
Sally Thomsett - Jo
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Richard Fraser - Simon Randall
Jo Kendall - Podge Randall
Karl Howman - Philip
Bella Emberg - Podge's Mother
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
00:30Oh, my God.
01:00I think you're really mean.
01:24All I want to do is borrow your uplift bra for one evening and you won't let me.
01:27Well, I would do, but I'm wearing it myself this evening.
01:31I was talking to Chrissie.
01:33You've got nothing to uplift.
01:34I've got more than you have.
01:35Rubbish.
01:36Now, girls, girls, girls, now, please.
01:38I am willing to offer my services as an impartial judge in this matter.
01:42Look, you keep out of this.
01:44She's already got my lipstick, my fingernails and my eyelashes.
01:47Just because you fancy Philip, there's more of me going out with him than there is of you.
01:52Now, girls, look, will you please stop quarrelling over this Philip?
01:55I'd be sensible.
01:57Quarrell over me.
01:58Robin, there's nothing wrong with you.
02:00It's just that you're too available, that's all.
02:02I'm not available.
02:06I'll have you know that you'll take a lot of coaxing and persuading to get me to show a flicker,
02:10a flicker of interest in either of you.
02:12I'm pretty hard to get you now.
02:14Come to bed.
02:14You've talked me into it.
02:17Your mismatch of the day.
02:19Oh, what a choice.
02:21Lettery or leads.
02:23Do be quiet.
02:24Listen, you want to be careful one of these days.
02:26He might take you at your word.
02:27Then what will you do?
02:28I shall whisper for help.
02:33Hello?
02:34Ah, hello.
02:35It's Simon here.
02:36Simon Randall, number 27.
02:38Oh, hello, Chrissie.
02:39Hello, Chrissie.
02:40Look, Podge and I were going out about 8,
02:42but now, because of the traffic and things,
02:43I think we'd better start about 7.30.
02:44Will that be all right?
02:45Oh, yeah.
02:46Did you need a second opinion?
02:48Don't you think you should ask Jo?
02:50You want a third opinion?
02:52No, no, no.
02:52Can she come early?
02:54She's babysitting for us tonight.
02:55She promised weeks ago.
02:57Oh, did she now?
02:58Oh, well, well, well.
03:00Yes, I'm sure that'll be all right.
03:027.30?
03:03Fine.
03:04Bye.
03:06I'm ready.
03:08Are you sure you haven't forgotten anything?
03:10No, why?
03:11Don't I look all right?
03:12You look great.
03:13I only hope he doesn't wet himself all over your new dress.
03:16Oh, really?
03:17The Randall's baby.
03:18She's babysitting tonight, promised weeks ago.
03:21Oh, hell.
03:22Never mind.
03:23I tell you what, I'll take your place.
03:25Oh, would you really?
03:26Yes, certainly.
03:27Where will Philip be taking me?
03:28No, will you babysit?
03:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:33Um, Robin?
03:36Yeah?
03:37Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:38Oh, no, no, no.
03:39Completely out of the question.
03:40No way.
03:41No chance.
03:42Never impossible.
03:43Look, don't beat about the bush, yes or no.
03:45Look, try Mrs Roper.
03:47Oh, yes.
03:47Oh, no.
03:48She's in bed with flu.
03:55Oh, dear.
03:59This cooking, love, is not really a man's job, is it?
04:02It's exhausting.
04:03Well, you made it boiled an egg, George.
04:05Yeah, and the toast.
04:06Don't forget the toast.
04:07Well, where is it?
04:08Well, it caught fire, so I've slung it in the bin.
04:10Oh, by the way, I've changed your library book.
04:14Oh, thank you, love.
04:15Did you get me a nice Robads?
04:17Yeah, uh, Rustlers of Cactus Creek.
04:20It's very good.
04:20You can have it when I finish reading it.
04:22Oh, thanks very much.
04:23All right.
04:24Well, aren't you going to stay and cheer me up for a bit?
04:27Oh, yeah.
04:28All right.
04:31All right.
04:34Um, did we keep up the death benefit insurance?
04:37No, no, I was just thinking, I mean, it'd be a bit daft, wouldn't it?
04:42Having to rummage about amongst the effects.
04:49I think the fridge has gone again.
04:50Oh, get back there, Cactus Creek.
04:52Oh, yeah, right.
04:53I was thinking, it might be better if I slept on the couch tonight,
04:56you know what, with all the germs.
04:57Oh, I shouldn't bother, George.
04:59Even in this bed, you never get close enough to catch anything.
05:05All right.
05:07I don't know one end of a baby from the other.
05:10If I put a nappy on it, it'd probably suffocate.
05:13Look, I don't know anything about them either,
05:14but I've made a fortune from babysitting.
05:16Yeah, but she's got a point, Jeremy.
05:17It's very...
05:18How much do they pay you?
05:20Forty pence an hour.
05:22Forty pence an hour?
05:24Listen, if they were out for about four, five hours,
05:26that would be, uh, or even six or seven hours,
05:29that is, uh, that's forty pence an hour.
05:33Look, I'm not going to be left on my own with a young baby.
05:35Look, Robin will go with you.
05:37Oh, no, I'm very sorry.
05:38Match of the day is on.
05:39Yes, in black and white, they've got colour.
05:42Have they?
05:42Yes, and a bar full of drinks.
05:44He always tells me to help myself.
05:45You know, I tell you what, Chrissie,
05:46it would be helping them out of a tight spot, wouldn't it?
05:48Eh?
05:49Oh, look, there's Philip.
05:50Will you do it, please?
05:51No, all right.
05:52Oh, thank you.
05:56Hello, Jo.
05:57Hello, Philip.
05:59Hello, everybody.
06:00Hello, Philip.
06:01And what Hedy delights have you planned for this evening?
06:03A Stockhausen concert at the town hall.
06:05I think I'd rather have a baby.
06:11It's 7.30, Podge.
06:13Is the, uh, is the baby settled yet?
06:14Not quite.
06:15He's kicking a bit.
06:17Oh, he's going to be a footballer, this one.
06:18No, I meant Jonathan.
06:20Oh, he's fast asleep.
06:22Ah, ah.
06:23Oh, that was a goal.
06:25I say, you are going to be all right.
06:27I mean, you're going to be all right tonight, aren't you?
06:29Because my boss won't take very kindly to you
06:31whelping in the middle of dinner.
06:33Dr Jenkins says it won't be for two weeks yet.
06:35Yeah, seven months ago, he said it was indigestion.
06:42Hello, Mr Randall.
06:43Hello.
06:43Go on through, will you?
06:45Um, Jo couldn't make it,
06:47so we're babysitting instead, if that's all right.
06:49Yes, of course, that's fine.
06:50It's very kind of you.
06:51Podge, you know Chrissie?
06:52Yes.
06:53And this is, uh...
06:53Robin.
06:54Hello.
06:55Uh, we're not too early, are we?
06:59No!
07:00This is number two.
07:02Oh.
07:03Is it going to be a boy or a girl?
07:04Oh, I do hope so.
07:06Uh, Jonathan's in our room.
07:09Come through.
07:10Well, I'll, uh, I'll show you where the bottles are.
07:14Oh, that's very decent of you.
07:19Just in case, um, just in case he wakes up, you know, while we're out.
07:25Oh.
07:26Oh, and this is a sort of topper-upper.
07:28Podge doesn't feed him, it's herself.
07:29Oh, you do it.
07:30No.
07:32No, she does it, but she doesn't do it herself.
07:34No, I'm sorry, I don't quite understand.
07:37Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
07:38I'm sorry.
07:38Oh, he's lovely.
07:41How old is he?
07:42He's just coming up to a year.
07:45You hardly had time to catch your breath before you were off again.
07:49Exactly.
07:50Simon thought it would be a good cure for postnatal depression.
07:56I didn't suppose we'll be very late back, thanks.
07:59Oh, listen, don't worry, don't worry.
08:00Listen, just tell me, where do you keep your colour TV set?
08:03There.
08:03Usually, but it's a way for repair at the moment.
08:08Come on now, Podge.
08:09Let's take us at least half an hour to get there.
08:11All right, all right.
08:13Honestly, Simon, you take all the pleasure out of being late.
08:17Oh, hold yourself to a drink.
08:18Oh, we will, thanks.
08:19Have a good time.
08:20Bye, bye.
08:22Yes, well.
08:26Click.
08:28Oh, look at that colour, eh?
08:30Perhaps a little bit more brightness, you think, eh?
08:34Oh, look at the emerald green of the pitch.
08:36Look, look.
08:37Chelsea are playing in their blue strip.
08:39Leeds in their yellow strip.
08:40And look, look at that brilliant red colour of the shirt of the Liverpool player who's
08:43got on the wrong train.
08:46OK, so you missed a football match.
08:47There'll be another one next week.
08:49Oh, yeah.
08:51Right.
08:51Help yourself to a drink and forget about it.
08:53I think I will.
08:53Very good thinking.
08:55Hey, they've got the lot here.
08:56Right, I think I shall have a little, er...
09:01It's locked.
09:05Have a swig of car and gate.
09:07Oh.
09:08That's great, isn't it, eh?
09:10No football, no drink.
09:14You know what we could do?
09:15No.
09:16Just a thing.
09:19Listen, you know our flat's empty?
09:20So?
09:21Well, somebody could break in and steal our television set that's in perfectly good working
09:26order.
09:26I think I'd just better nip home.
09:27You sit down.
09:28You're not leaving me here on my own.
09:29Here, read that.
09:31Let's have a nice, quiet, peaceful evening.
09:33That stuff doesn't kill germs, George.
09:48You just get more of them coming in from outside to see what smells so nice.
09:54Well, there's no point in taking a risk, Mildred.
09:56You've still got your gas mask in the cupboard, I mean, if you really want it.
10:04Ah, yeah, don't be silly.
10:05Well, perhaps you'd like me to stop breathing for the rest of the night.
10:08He took his boots off and came down over the place.
10:11And he said, I'll come in.
10:12Good book, is it?
10:13Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:15Yeah, the sheriff's about to have it out in the main street.
10:17Oh, I must read that.
10:20There's a little everything that, yeah, on the day of the...
10:22George?
10:23George, it's not very warm tonight, is it?
10:29Now, don't start that, Mildred.
10:31Well, I'm only snuggling up.
10:34Yeah, that's what you always say.
10:35Now, you need rest, my beloved.
10:37Good.
10:38Very fine.
10:39Oh, I say, hey, here's a twist.
10:41The girl from the saloon's found out that the sheriff's gun's loaded with blanks.
10:44I know how she feels.
10:53Oh, I thought he'd never go off.
10:55What do I do with this?
10:57Put it in the bathroom.
11:03You've never changed one before, have you?
11:05How could you tell?
11:06You seven nappy pins.
11:08Well, you wanted to feed him.
11:09At least I knew which end to go for.
11:11Actually, you know, I quite like kids.
11:17I didn't think I did, you know.
11:18But when those chubby little fingers reach out and grab hold of your nose,
11:22yeah, it sort of gives you a funny feeling.
11:24Yeah, I know, it's called agony.
11:25No.
11:27Now, come on, I mean, all women love babies.
11:30It's a well-known fallacy.
11:31Oh, I suppose it's quite nice, really.
11:33Especially now, when he's asleep.
11:35If we keep really quiet, we should be able to have a nice, quiet, peaceful evening.
11:39Oh, telephone.
11:42I know, but where?
11:43There.
11:45I thought that was an ornament.
11:47Hello?
11:50It is an ornament.
11:56Shh!
11:57Hello?
11:59Oh, I'm sorry.
11:59I was ringing as quietly as I could.
12:02It's Simon here.
12:03Look, Podge has gone into labour right in the middle of the Vichy Soise.
12:07Nasty.
12:07Yes, well, she's getting pains about every five minutes, so of course I must drive her to the hospital.
12:11Yes, yes, yes, of course.
12:12Well, I mean, can you cope if I don't get back until later?
12:14Ah, good.
12:15Have another drink.
12:16I haven't had one yet.
12:17It's locked.
12:19Oh, is it?
12:19Are the keys in the writing desk?
12:21Ah, oh, okay.
12:22Listen, now, don't worry.
12:23It won't spoil anything, because Vichy Soise is cold.
12:25All right?
12:26What?
12:28Well, how about that?
12:29Well, lucky it wasn't a souffle.
12:31Ah, right, yes.
12:33So we're stuck here till he gets back.
12:35That's all we needed.
12:36It's locked.
12:40That's all we needed.
12:43Oh, we were both wrong.
12:45That's all we needed.
12:59There, there, there.
13:18Did the nasty man frighten you with his horrible voice?
13:22I was singing him a lullaby.
13:24Lily the Pink?
13:26Well, I don't know any proper lullabies.
13:28Anyway, the human voice is supposed to be very soothing to a baby.
13:32Not your voice.
13:33Well, anybody's voice.
13:35Tell you what, I'll read him a story.
13:37He's too young.
13:38It'll help to settle him down.
13:43Percy Puff Puff and his little red tooter.
13:51Toot toot, said Percy the Puff Puff as he puffed along the...
13:55You following it so far?
13:57Puff Puffs do not talk.
13:59He wasn't talking.
14:00He was tooting.
14:02Oh, sorry.
14:03Okay.
14:05Oh, what a lovely day, said Percy.
14:09He's talking now, but he wasn't before.
14:14And he tooted again.
14:16Toot toot!
14:17Sammy the Signal, waved his arm as Percy passed him.
14:22Where are you going?
14:24Said Sammy.
14:26I'm on my way to the seaside, said Percy.
14:29I think we both preferred Lily the Pink.
14:31But this is not written for you.
14:33It's written for him.
14:35And me.
14:35Percy's little tenter behind...
14:40Him, sorry.
14:44...was full of coal for the journey.
14:46Shh!
14:47I think you finally bored him to sleep.
14:49Right.
14:54Here you go.
14:55I just want to see how it ends.
15:20You're not really going to read that, are you?
15:28Yeah.
15:28Well, it gets pretty spicy later on.
15:30He has a thing going with the old Daphne diesel engine.
15:35About past eleven.
15:36I wonder how Mrs Randall's getting on.
15:38Ah, she'll be all right.
15:39There's nothing to it.
15:41What?
15:42Well, I mean, in China, you know,
15:43the women don't even straighten up from picking the right.
15:45It's Splash.
15:46What do we call it, then?
15:48Oh, yeah.
15:49How would you feel if men had the babies?
15:53Terrified of being alone with you, Jackie.
15:55You are an unfeeling pig.
15:58Yes, I know, but...
15:59Hello?
16:00Hello?
16:01Ah, Chrissy?
16:03Look, nothing's happened yet.
16:04We started the countdown, and I think we have a hold.
16:07You're at the hospital?
16:09Yes, yes, of course.
16:10And the thing is, you see,
16:11I promised that I'd be here with Podge
16:14to watch the birth.
16:15Watch the whole thing.
16:16It was your idea.
16:17Darling, please, will you leave this to me?
16:21It's a very difficult time for a husband.
16:22Hello?
16:23Hello?
16:24Yeah, well, will you...
16:25Could you possibly stay on a bit longer?
16:26Yes, of course we could.
16:27Don't worry about a thing.
16:29Listen, ask him where the key to the writing desk is.
16:32Hello?
16:33Where is the key to the writing desk?
16:36Well, do you want to write something?
16:37No, I want to drink something.
16:40No, no, but you want the drinks cabinet.
16:43Do help yourself and thank you for everything.
16:47Oh, he's still babbling on a bit.
16:48So I suppose it's understandable, you know,
16:50seeing what he's going through.
16:52Him?
16:52What about her?
16:53Well, yes, her as well, I suppose.
16:55It's all her.
16:56He did his bit months ago, and he probably enjoyed it.
16:59You're a real male chauvinist, you are.
17:01You can't argue with Father Nature.
17:03Now, give me your hair slide.
17:05Please?
17:05Hair slide.
17:07Kip.
17:09You going to pick the lock?
17:10Probably not, but I'm going to try to.
17:12He did say, help yourself.
17:14Can you do it?
17:15Not always.
17:15I mean, so far, I've had no luck with your bedroom door.
17:19Actually, have you got some tweezers?
17:21Oh, you're going to pluck your eyebrows at the same time.
17:23No, it just might be a little bit...
17:25Uh-huh.
17:30Voila.
17:31No luck in Europe can defy our ripples.
17:34The gentleman...
17:36Safe fracker.
17:38Raffles.
17:39Put me down for two tickets.
17:40Right, now.
17:42What will you have?
17:43I suppose we deserve one.
17:44Sherry, please.
17:45All right.
17:46A little sherry for you, my dear.
17:48Ha-ha-ha-ha.
17:50And I think I will have myself...
17:54a little scotch.
17:56Just a little one.
17:59Right.
17:59There we are.
18:01A couple of these and I'm anybodies.
18:06A cup of tea and you're anybodies.
18:10You think I'm sex mad, don't you?
18:12Hmm.
18:12Well, I'm not, really.
18:13I know I sort of, you know, put on that I am, but I mean, you sort of expect that from fellas.
18:18But, well, to tell you the truth, Chrissie, and, you know, I've never, never told this to anybody before,
18:26but I am, I am, I am generally worried about my virility.
18:34Really?
18:35Yeah.
18:36See, what I think I need is, is a sort of sympathetic girl, you know, sort of help me sort out my problems and...
18:46I will, if you like, but when Gay Lib comes to me, remember, you're to blame, dear.
18:52You never give in.
18:53Neither do you.
18:54Oh, no, not again.
19:00Look, you're not going in, are you?
19:01Oh, he probably only wants a little cuddle.
19:04I know how he feels.
19:05I've had a lovely evening, Philip.
19:10Have you really?
19:11Yes, but this wasn't it.
19:13Don't you like Stockhausen's music?
19:15Not to listen to.
19:16Well, perhaps it was his exploration of the spatial possibilities of the 12-note idiom,
19:20and his use of variant stage, breaking it together, that confused you, eh?
19:24That was it, yes.
19:25Look, I'd love to invite you in, if only my flatmates weren't here.
19:28Oh, excuse me.
19:34Hello?
19:34Hello, it's me.
19:36Look, we're still at the Randalls, and he hasn't stopped crying for 20 minutes.
19:39Who, Robin?
19:40No, the baby.
19:42Jonathan.
19:43Look, what do you usually do?
19:44Um, well, you know the cabinet in their bathroom?
19:47Yeah.
19:48Well, there's some cotton wool in there.
19:50Yeah?
19:50I stuff it in my ears.
19:52Look, I'm being serious.
19:54There might be something wrong with him.
19:56Has he turned the blue?
19:57No.
19:58Why, should he?
19:59No, I don't think so.
20:00Look, phone Mrs Robich.
20:01She used to work in a hospital.
20:02Bye.
20:03So you're alone, eh?
20:05No, but I will be in a minute when you've gone.
20:07I thought I might have a coffee.
20:08Yeah, wonderful idea.
20:09There's an all-night wimpy bar down the road.
20:11I've got some fabulous stockhousing cassettes in the car.
20:13Oh, what a jolly sandcastle.
20:19Come on, there, there, there, there, there, there, there.
20:21And see, at the very tippy top, I've put a seashell.
20:25What did he say?
20:26Oh, she doesn't know.
20:28Do you think he's teething?
20:30No.
20:30I'm sorry, theorist.
20:33You're not worried at all, are you?
20:35Look, you are responsible for that baby.
20:37I can't be.
20:38I've only been in London six months.
20:39I'm going to phone Mrs. Roker.
20:41All right, now, where were we?
20:42Come on, then.
20:43Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
20:48And then...
20:49Pig.
21:05George?
21:07George!
21:08Not now, I've got an headache.
21:16Hello?
21:17Hello, Mrs. Roker, it's Chrissy.
21:18I hope I'm not disturbing you.
21:20Oh, no, love, no.
21:23No, nothing much disturbs me.
21:27Especially in bed.
21:29See, I'm babysitting, you see, and he won't stop crying.
21:32And you used to work in a hospital.
21:33Oh, well, only in the laundry room, dear.
21:37Why, has one of his buttons come off?
21:40No, I don't think so.
21:41Oh, look, hang on a minute now.
21:45Now, look, are you sure he doesn't need changing?
21:48No, we've done that.
21:50Ah, but did you wash his bottom, though?
21:53Whose bottom?
21:56Look, love, powder in between his legs
21:59and rub in some zinc and castor oil cream.
22:02Who are you talking to?
22:03And if that doesn't work,
22:04try dipping his little comforter in honey.
22:06Who is that?
22:10Look, we've already stirred him.
22:12Ah, but have you winded him?
22:16What?
22:17It's all right, it's all right.
22:18You just settled down.
22:19What?
22:20Hello, hello.
22:21He just gave one almighty burp
22:23and went straight to sleep.
22:24All right?
22:24Good night.
22:26Are you sure?
22:27Yeah, he spread out like a lettuce.
22:29No, no, no, no, no, no.
22:29Don't disturb him.
22:30Oh, so it was wind.
22:33Yeah.
22:33Well, either that or one minor earthquake.
22:35There you go.
22:37Now, listen, there's, um,
22:38there's just one remaining problem.
22:42Well, we might have to sleep here tonight.
22:45And there's only one double bed, right?
22:47Yes.
22:51What do you think, eh?
22:52All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
23:19hi what happened to you last night nothing nothing what's going on why didn't you come home
23:27he's still asleep yeah he looks it
23:31hello it's a girl seven pounds ten ounces oh great congratulations it's mrs randall seven
23:43pounds ten well it soon adds up at 40 p and r doesn't it
23:46um what's johnson all right oh yes as good as gold i bet mr randall's pleased ah well he hasn't said
23:56you see he fainted during the birth hit his head on the floor and he's now in ward three for
24:01observation what well you may have a slight concussion still i have phoned my mother and
24:08she should be coming straight round to take over from you oh fine i'll get it i'll get it hey listen
24:15why did you two spend the night here together last night joe you're a woman of the world
24:19i'm not you would have been if you'd stayed here last night
24:22good morning i'm mrs randall's mother where's my grandson uh through there i do hope he's not
24:33still asleep this is breakfast to be made his nappies to be washed we better be aired as well
24:38has changed is his bath ready um not yet no actually we're the night shift it's the day
24:43shift you want what good luck he does like toast fingers now make sure that his bath water is
24:49you
24:54so
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