- 18 hours ago
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00:00Lads! One, two!
00:05So, like, I've had a think of how I can bury my face in your ma's arse,
00:08but we still move on together with our relationship.
00:10Lad, it's too early for this.
00:12Nope. Expose your therapy to overcome your fears.
00:15I'll come round for tea, and I'll sit opposite you.
00:17Then I'll eat some tea, and then put my face in your ma's arse,
00:20eat tea, face and arse, eat tea, face and arse.
00:22I'm gonna record you saying this one day and send it to her.
00:24You'd shit yourself.
00:25Do we? You're good to flog the idea to her.
00:28Seriously, doll, how long would you be pissed off at me for?
00:31Or does it depend how long I'm in there for?
00:34I suppose if you'd had your head in my ma's arse for like a week straight,
00:37I'd be more pissed off like you.
00:39Lad, I'd eat a chicken dipper out your ma's arse.
00:42Honestly, I would, cos if your ma said to me,
00:45come round for tea, you can have these chicken dippers,
00:48only if you'd eat them out my arse, I'd not only do it,
00:51I'd prefer it served that way.
00:58Ah, these are lads.
01:04Alright boys.
01:05Can I ask you, you two Sutton?
01:06Right, when a lad goes out with a girl to dinner,
01:09he usually pays, right?
01:11So, when you two go out,
01:13who pays because you're both lads?
01:16Should I tell him?
01:17Yeah, go on, it's time.
01:19Connor, every time we go out, we each taking turns to wear a bra under our shirt.
01:26That's how we know who's playing.
01:28I didn't know that.
01:30Hey Thomas, I've got an idea for an app that is gonna shit all over yours.
01:36It's called Scrap.
01:38For like minds of people who wanna meet up for a daily scrap.
01:42Lewis Connolly, soon to be the face of Universal Credit,
01:47treats women like this shit and says,
01:50I'm not racist me lads, cos I've got three DVDs of that Morgan Freeman fella.
01:54Keep shatting one lads.
01:56Like your little astrology dating app.
01:59All that Mars and Venus shite lads, it's a load of bollocks.
02:03It's a shame, don't you think that?
02:05Cos I saw Amy's profile on there last night and you two,
02:08you're perfectly matched.
02:10Really lads?
02:11No.
02:12Cos even Mars and Venus know that you're a piece of shit,
02:15Amy's far too good for.
02:16Oh, you've been telling me lads.
02:19You're a whopper.
02:21It's all just so funny, you know.
02:24OK lads.
02:26Get off!
02:27God, I am raging with Ziad.
02:29Why?
02:30Do you know the special thing he had planned?
02:32Was a scrapbook of our first weeks together with like,
02:34photosies and tickets from stuff we did.
02:36That sounds amazing.
02:38Well, no, it's not.
02:39Cos there was a photosie missing.
02:41The one of us shagging.
02:42Still.
02:43It's really thoughtful though, innit?
02:45It's not that thoughtful, Gail.
02:46I mean, I've got the photosies on me phone,
02:48I don't need them in a book.
02:49And he chose all the worst ones of us.
02:51And the tickets.
02:52I mean, I can't even use them again,
02:53so what's the point in that?
02:54You didn't say this to him, did you?
02:56Nah.
02:57Just pretended it was cute.
02:58But like, all I was thinking was,
02:59why doesn't he want to have sex with me?
03:01Like, what if he doesn't find me fit?
03:09Can't be that.
03:11What is Rory slide tackling in the playground for?
03:15Move!
03:16Could end him with career.
03:18Let it go, lad.
03:19It was a good challenge.
03:20What do you mean?
03:21Nah, nah, nah.
03:22Next time I see him, I'm gonna kill him.
03:24With...
03:25With forgiveness.
03:27Cos Islam teaches us the art of forgiveness to all that have wronged us.
03:32Oh!
03:33Hera Grace.
03:34I am honoured that you trusted me with this moan.
03:38I know it means so much to you.
03:45And thank you for facilitating my growth.
03:47Love the love.
03:48Love the love.
03:51Aha!
03:54Are you still pretending to be religious?
03:56Shh!
03:57I've got a chance with Amy.
03:58What's next, lad?
03:59Take it to the promised land.
04:00Pilgrim it's to make it.
04:01Hey!
04:02You never know.
04:03You might get to roll the random moan.
04:04No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:06Had you all whipped in on me.
04:07Shut up, lad.
04:08Will we ever be like the way we used to be or have we lost ourselves?
04:16Thought I know you...
04:19Oh, glad I bumped into you.
04:21Um, yesterday at Romeo and Juliet rehearsals, during the romantic scene,
04:25I kind of felt like you got a bit too into it.
04:28And I try to remember, we're acting.
04:31Sorry, you're right.
04:32But our faces get so close in that gigantic spot you'd have on your nose,
04:36it's just too seducing.
04:38To be fair, same here with your Scouse accent butchering Shakespeare.
04:41Well, it's just too alluring.
04:43Only one thing to do, then.
04:45Ella Grace?
04:47Christopher and I are having trouble navigating our creative relationship
04:52during rehearsals due to some of the intimate content.
04:55Do you think you've got to help guide us through our issues?
04:58I...
04:59Yes.
05:00We want to reach a point where our structure is in place
05:03that allows us to unleash our best performance
05:05in an environment that feels safe and comfortable.
05:07Are you all right?
05:11Oh, it's just so inspiring that you're collectively thinking about this.
05:14Guys?
05:15Sorry, I mean folks.
05:17I will be your intimacy coordinator.
05:19Mm-hmm.
05:20Mm-hmm.
05:21Mm-hmm.
05:22Mm-hmm.
05:23Mm-hmm.
05:24Mm-hmm.
05:25Mm-hmm.
05:26Oh, my God, she believed us.
05:28See you later.
05:30Oh!
05:31I'm back with a bang, lad!
05:33The bang being the kid that dropped on me way in with a lazy jab.
05:37I admit you got about 20 emails saying announce Lewis's return, lad.
05:42Were they all from Kieran?
05:43Maybe.
05:44But listen, I had some time to do some real soul-searching when I was away.
05:48And I realised my soul's a natural-born lunatic.
05:52So I found your Insta.
05:54Got to pick your fat sponge head and put it on me dartboard.
05:57Why am I in black and white?
05:59Me printer ran out of colour.
06:00It wasn't an artistic choice.
06:01Why shouldn't there be a dart in it?
06:02I lost me darts!
06:03The point is, stay away from it or I'll cripple you.
06:17I wonder what the surprise is.
06:19Maybe he's taking you in a private jet to a posh restaurant in Paris.
06:23Nah.
06:24I reckon he's bought you LFC.
06:26Put me on the wing.
06:27I'm a wicked lad.
06:29Oh.
06:30My.
06:31God.
06:32It gets even better.
06:34What?
06:35What?
06:36That's a 23, please.
06:38Imagine if we had a car.
06:39The birds would be all over us.
06:41We could drive them into town.
06:42We could take the birds to pictures.
06:44We could go Mackey's drive-thru.
06:47With the birds, obviously.
06:48You're a lucky bastard, you ten.
06:49I'm on a Thomas.
06:50Go away, Ken!
06:51He's so lucky enough.
06:52I didn't even know these were here.
06:53What are they?
06:54100 human figures.
06:55My granddad would take me here sometimes when I was a kid.
06:57He believed that the statues represent life and the sea is death.
07:01That's why each figure stands further out towards the sea, as we're all at different stages of our life.
07:11And that's why, in between, we have to be bold, take chances, because one day you will be the last statue.
07:28You don't want to look back at your past selves and think I wasn't brave enough or bold enough.
07:36And now I come here on my own, as my granddad did become the last statue.
07:41He slowly faded away, just like the image I have of him in my head.
07:48But you know what didn't fade away?
07:51What he taught me.
07:53That's why I did my art.
07:56Because I've always believed in astrology and how there's a soulmate out there for all of us.
08:01Do you believe in soulmates?
08:03Yes!
08:04Don't you?
08:06There has to be a reason this universe exists.
08:09Just look!
08:10It's just too deliberate, too beautifully orchestrated.
08:14Maybe it's to experience love.
08:19It's amazing you got all their inspirations from these statues.
08:22I just interpreted them as normal as getting your arse out of the beach.
08:28Ted, I love your sense of humour.
08:32But don't use it as an escape just because you're feeling anxious.
08:37Be present, Ted.
08:52As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
08:54As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
08:56Alhamdulillah wa baayla.
09:02Oh, what happened?
09:03No thanks.
09:06Can you please let me do my dua?
09:09Sorry. Sorry, yeah.
09:11Go ahead.
09:12As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
09:14Asalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
09:19So how's it going with my Louise?
09:20It's fine.
09:22I bet you get on there every night, lad.
09:25You know, it's none of your business, actually.
09:26Oh, my God. That means you're getting none.
09:28Sorry, do you not realise how disrespectful you're being right now?
09:31Yeah. Sorry. Sorry.
09:35You're... Can you knock a little puss on?
09:36What? You know...
09:38No.
09:40I want to wait until marriage.
09:42Are you mad?
09:43I must be. Look, I want to, so much, but I care about my religion, and I want to be dedicated to my faith.
09:50But she is proper fit. You think? I don't know that.
09:54I have the exact same desires as you, Mohamed. Sometimes I think I'm doing the wrong thing.
09:58Like, what if she thinks I'm a crazy religious person, and she wants to end the relationship?
10:03Gally, I wish the Brimbo was more like my Louise. I'm getting naughty.
10:07Well, you know, she's actually probably the type of girl that appreciates the mental strength it takes to abstain and overcome the needs of the body.
10:17You reckon?
10:22Mohamed?
10:27Do you mind if I join? It would be an honour to strengthen my connection to your beautiful faith.
10:35Yeah, of course. Yeah, move.
10:37Am I okay to repeat what you guys say?
10:43Yes, of course. Actually, this is a great idea. Yes.
10:47But in Islam, a man and a woman cannot pray together.
10:49But it's okay. It's okay. I will teach you something, and you repeat after me.
10:53Okay? You ready?
10:55The idea is that I am not aware of.
10:59The idea is that I am not aware of.
11:02Wow. Bravo.
11:04Wallah, you're amazing.
11:05Yeah, we say it together?
11:07What?
11:07Yeah, yeah, come on. We're like family here. Yes. You know, it's okay. You're lucky.
11:10One, two, three.
11:17Wow.
11:18Wallah, very good. You're a natural, you know?
11:20All right.
11:21Ted, come on, isn't it a bit soon for us to be having some five-star spa resort together?
11:28Cheryl?
11:30I wanted to bring you, dear, because, like you said, the beach shaped you.
11:33Ransia shaped me.
11:35I decided from a young age that I wasn't going to let any little knobheads from Ransia not let me be where I wanted to be.
11:43Ask Liam Hughes. He kicked off thinking I was a soft touch.
11:46What kind of violent Neanderthal thug am I seeing?
11:52Oh, and don't worry.
11:53There weren't any lasting effects from the beating I gave Liam.
11:56All right, Liam.
11:58Oh, my God, I'm joking.
12:01That smeg, eh?
12:03Such a wad.
12:04All right, smeg.
12:06The hope for you be out of that new year.
12:09Another one that got cheated out.
12:12Oh, my God, I'm joking.
12:17Now, to be honest, Thomas, I have to be in control.
12:20I don't want anyone in my head, but you have a little bit.
12:28And that's scary, but it's exciting as well.
12:31Exactly.
12:33What's the point in being in control all the time?
12:35It's so boring not being in control.
12:40That's where the beautiful chaos happens.
12:46What?
12:48What a little spit.
12:50Don't mind us.
12:51Chaos coming for now.
12:53This place is where I'm from.
12:56Familiar faces and the accents like a song.
13:00Why is he laughing so much?
13:09It's a bit flirty there, isn't it?
13:12Read the top one.
13:13I'm going down in the hosy me, lad.
13:16That means you're going to the hospital.
13:18The hospital.
13:19I'm still learning.
13:20All right.
13:21One more, one more.
13:22An absolute belter of L.A.
13:25I say good.
13:26Oh, my God.
13:27Why is he taking Thomas' phone?
13:28Is he giving him his number?
13:30This means to, like, avoid someone or something.
13:33OK.
13:34OK.
13:35OK.
13:36Go.
13:37I'm swerving my bird tonight.
13:39Did you just hear that?
13:41He's swerving me tonight for Thomas.
13:44It all makes sense why he doesn't want to have sex with me.
13:47Why is he?
13:48It's one of those proper fit gays.
13:49He's not gay.
13:50A healthy, consent-driven environment is paramount to ensuring actors reach their creative potential.
14:01Actors are storytellers, but I am also a storyteller, and my story ends with established boundaries.
14:06See?
14:07That's my concern.
14:08I don't want to overstep any boundaries.
14:11Like, am I allowed to hug him?
14:14If you both feel comfortable with that, and more importantly, you communicate that to each
14:19other.
14:20If you bring the hug, can I have a slight squeeze of her arse if I feel it suits the character?
14:27How would you feel about that, Amy?
14:29Comfortable.
14:30Well, then you've established a secure space which allows that to happen.
14:34So, if we both feel comfortable with me tickling his balls, can we do it?
14:42Oh, erm, if you've established boundaries and the ball tickling falls within those boundaries,
14:48then yeah.
14:49Because we're both comfortable, we can really do all of that, even if it's not in the script.
14:53Yeah, as long as it...
14:54So?
14:55I could wank him off.
14:56Then I could finish on our tits.
14:57I could be able to strap on and peg his arse all on stage.
15:01But, yeah, let's leave it there.
15:04Sometimes it's better to take a step back from communication to, erm, reflect.
15:09I'll see you later.
15:14Put some respect on me name, lads.
15:18Put some respect on me name, lads.
15:20I told you to stay away from it.
15:22I can't.
15:23I can't.
15:24We're acting together.
15:25She's Juliet, I'm Romeo.
15:26And do the scenes separately on a green screen and edit it together in post-production.
15:31This is a play, not a movie.
15:33Always with the smart-arse answers, lads.
15:35You've left me no choice.
15:37There's a storm coming for Amy.
15:40Stay indoors, lads.
15:45You don't want to get caught in Storm Lewis.
15:47Unless I tell you to come out, because I'm going to smash your head in.
15:53Did you hear that?
16:18False alarm.
16:22It's hot.
16:51Ted.
16:52Sorry, I didn't reply to your text before.
16:55Do you want to come over to mine instead, though?
16:57I've got a free house, so we're alone, then.
17:00I've got homework to sort out.
17:02Well, just come after your homework.
17:04I've been missing you today.
17:06I heard you in the toilet.
17:07Are you following me?
17:09No.
17:10I was in the cubicle next to you, but I probably would have heard you from the fucking gym.
17:18Why are you getting angry, Ted?
17:19Why are you getting angry, Ted?
17:20You're embarrassing yourself.
17:21Yeah, but I thought...
17:22Yeah, but...
17:23I thought...
17:24What?
17:25You thought that I like you?
17:26I do.
17:27I really like you.
17:28I want to see where this goes, but at the same time, I don't want to be tied down.
17:31I'm exploring ethical non-monogamy.
17:33Don't you believe in soulmates?
17:35I do.
17:36One day, but right now.
17:37I just want to have fun.
17:38Ted.
17:39What do you mean by that?
17:40Look.
17:41I understand that this is your first relationship, but you need to let me know if you can handle
17:51this.
18:00Me, Louise!
18:01Me, Louise!
18:02Please, please, please, please, please, please.
18:05Why didn't you reply to me last night?
18:07Because, Ziad, I know why you don't want to have sex with me.
18:12Okay, I'm sorry.
18:13I was going to tell you.
18:14I thought it would change things.
18:15It's a game changer, Ziad.
18:17Well, maybe if we get married, things will be different.
18:20That's not how our marriage works.
18:22So you don't want to be with me anymore?
18:23Well, do you want to be with me?
18:24Of course I do.
18:25Look, it's just sex.
18:26It doesn't change our connection.
18:28Wait.
18:29So we're together, but then you just leave to go and do that sometimes?
18:33Leave?
18:34You want to do it in front of me?
18:36Do what's in front of you?
18:38Jag, guys!
18:40Because you're into fellas.
18:42No, I'm not.
18:44Then why don't you want to have sex with me?
18:47Because I...
18:48Because what?
18:50Because I want to wait until marriage.
18:53Oh, God, well, thank God for that.
18:56Okay, so you don't think I'm a crazy religious person?
18:59Nah, nah.
19:00I'm just made up.
19:01You're not into fellas.
19:02Okay, good.
19:03Because...
19:04Me, Louise, I want to go on a journey with you that elevates above the physical.
19:07That explores meanings that are deeper and more everlasting.
19:10That can bind us together as one eternal soul.
19:13And we could do some fingering?
19:19No, I can't do any sexual activity, me, Louise.
19:21What about, like, oral stuff?
19:23No, I can't do anything.
19:24Dry humping.
19:26I've never seen you cry before, lad.
19:36Thomas just dumped you.
19:39Aww.
19:41I called it, you know.
19:43I said to the others, he's way out of your league.
19:47He didn't dump me.
19:48Then what's up?
19:50He wants to see me but see other people too.
19:54That's not what all gays do.
19:56Nap.
19:57Well, not everyone.
20:00I'm not sure that's right.
20:03I understand that.
20:05Monty's something similar myself.
20:07What do you mean?
20:08Risa's ma.
20:12I have these special moments with her.
20:14When I go round for tea.
20:16I tell her that I can't be far she's stunning.
20:18Then she gives me that smile.
20:22Then I have to leave.
20:24And it kills me.
20:26Because I want to see that smile every second of every day.
20:30And then the questions I'm left wrestling with her.
20:33Am I okay with just living off these special moments?
20:37Am I okay with not being all in?
20:42Some.
20:43You bummed them yet?
20:47I know that I'm your homie.
20:50I ain't just gonna let that go.
20:53Don't think you can just call me.
20:56Because you're feeling lonely.
20:58Oh.
21:03What?
21:04Finish.
21:05Oh.
21:06That was short.
21:07Yeah, this Islamic meditation's a very quick one.
21:12I mean, I use it to strengthen me mind.
21:15To help with fasting, you know?
21:18And me abstinence from sex.
21:21You abstain from sex?
21:22Yeah.
21:23Until marriage.
21:24It's easy to give in to basic physical needs.
21:27But my brain's different.
21:29It's to be constantly challenged.
21:33You must be so mentally strong, Mo.
21:36Yeah.
21:37With great power comes great responsibility.
21:43I feel embarrassed.
21:45No, no, no.
21:46Don't be embarrassed.
21:48You can tell me how you feel about me.
21:50I feel embarrassed because I've been waiting for you to make a move and that was never gonna happen, which obviously I respect.
21:55Waiting for me to make a move?
21:57You've changed me so much spiritually, Mo, and I've grown to really like you, but I am a very sexual person who needs a mind and body stimulated equally.
22:07Look, look, look, Ella Grace, I've been meaning to tell you this, but...
22:13I'm not actually a practising Muslim.
22:15Mo, don't change yourself for me.
22:19I respect your religion.
22:20I know.
22:21But I don't think I can be with you knowing it won't turn sexual.
22:24Look, look, I'm serious.
22:25Goodbye, Mo.
22:26I'm serious.
22:28Ella Grace!
22:37Thomas, I brought you back to my area to show you some statues that will make you better understand me.
23:00You asked me if I was ready for an ethical non-monogamous relationship.
23:04And now I know the answer.
23:08You see, I have always been a tough guy.
23:11Liam Hughes will tell you that.
23:12No, no, please don't hurt me!
23:14Can I get my fiver now or what?
23:16But you told me that I don't have to hide behind a tough guy image.
23:19You told me that it's good to be vulnerable and to let yourself bare.
23:24Then you can live moments you'll remember for the rest of your life.
23:28So yeah, I'm ready.
23:30Ready to tell you that you can't use ethical non-monogamy as an excuse to treat people like shit?
23:36It's your choice if you want many, even if it's at the same time.
23:40But the clue's in the name.
23:46Ethical.
23:48There's ways to go about it, lad.
23:50Either way, it's not what I want.
23:52Because I don't want to be one of many.
23:55I want to be the one.
23:58Seen by only one.
23:59Isn't that truly what a soulmate is?
24:04And our time together's made me realise that I want to find that soulmate.
24:09So...
24:11Goodbye, Thomas.
24:13And when you play, it's alright.
24:17It's all lost, lad.
24:18Yeah.
24:19He's too good for you.
24:24Oh, kid.
24:27You okay?
24:28Yeah.
24:29Thanks for that, lads.
24:30Lost me out to get a bit there.
24:31Not any time, mate.
24:33Can I ask you something?
24:34Yeah.
24:36You know all these gay questions?
24:37Yeah.
24:38You're seeking the person early, aren't you?
24:40Yeah.
24:41Oh, no, mate.
24:42I'm genuinely curious.
24:43Yeah, look, I've got a list of questions for you.
24:45Yeah, let me have a look.
24:49You know when you're just gonna have sex?
24:52Ah, do you know who bums you?
24:55Oh, me and me little curly-haired homophobe.
24:59You've got so much to learn.
25:02Anyone who had a heart would take me
25:06In his arm then love me too
25:10Couldn't be another heart that hurt me
25:15Like you hurt me and be so untrue
25:20What am I to do?
25:23Every time you go away
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