- 21 hours ago
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00:00I've had to turn to drugs to cope without you
00:06Not funny can't believe you got me up early for this
00:12Just a little bit dirty. Oh, just just a little bit more
00:25Keep pushing
00:30One more than my partner
00:32Look, look at him
00:34He's my favourite boy
00:36Congratulations
00:42Son, son
00:44Congratulations
00:52Fancy some FIFA after school later
00:54I just need to hide a few things first so you can't steal them
00:56Lads, I already explained what happened
00:58I'm joking
01:00Can you bring one of your controllers too though? I've lost one of mine
01:02That's because I stole them from your room
01:04Look at him
01:14It's ok
01:16Didn't you pay for us lunches last week?
01:21We're still having problems getting the right ID for a bank account.
01:24I don't want to scare you, Gail, but I read about things like this all the time.
01:29Foreign men scamming women for money.
01:31What are you around about, Gail?
01:33Like my nan, who met that Azama fella from Gambia on Facebook.
01:36He moved here, they got married, and then he divorced her,
01:40so we could take half of her life savings.
01:42I mean, no offence to your nan, Gail, but she was like 74 and he was 25.
01:46It's pretty obvious he wasn't with her for a saggy tits and pancake ass.
01:50May she rest in peace.
01:52Are you sure you can trust him? You already lied here about speaking English.
01:55Oh my God, Gail, are you jealous?
01:57No. You were the one saying it was weird you'd have him be into his house yet.
02:00Yeah, well, yesterday he had me waiting on the corner
02:03and I could definitely just about work out which house was his, so there.
02:06Why is he making you wait on the corner?
02:08Well, you all want to talk. Chasing after that posh bellend.
02:11Sif?
02:12I mean, it's getting a bit embarrassing, to be honest.
02:15He's not interested in girls like you, but he doesn't want to tell you
02:19because he doesn't want to look like a snob.
02:21Go away, you divvy.
02:22I'm sorry, what are you? I'm going.
02:24You see, I've actually got a meeting with Netflix, yeah.
02:27They want to do a documentary on Zia, the Libyan swindler,
02:31about how he manipulated a stupid, naive girl from Liverpool for a fiver.
02:36I don't like how so I feel
02:41Cause each day for me it all feels oh sorry
02:46It's okay, they're both too absolute heavyweight.
02:47My mum's just emailed me.
02:48Oh no.
02:49Have you lost the plot cause I haven't been around to keep you sane?
02:50Before she died she must have scheduled emails for me.
02:52Does it say?
02:53Hiya son. Cancer must have got me by now. Or did it?
02:57Maybe I faked my death and now live off the grid in Alaska with an impressive beard.
03:00She had a weird sense of humour.
03:01I love it lad.
03:02I know your dad's birthday was already on my own.
03:04Oh no.
03:05Oh no.
03:06Oh no.
03:07Oh no.
03:08Oh no.
03:09Oh no.
03:10Oh no.
03:11I'm just waiting for you.
03:12Oh no.
03:13Oh no.
03:14Oh no.
03:15Oh no.
03:16Oh no.
03:17Oh no.
03:18Oh no.
03:19Oh no.
03:20Oh no.
03:21Oh no.
03:22Oh no.
03:23Oh no.
03:24Oh no.
03:25Oh no.
03:26Dad's birthday was always a tough day for us.
03:29So I want to remind you of the poem we wrote for him.
03:35The image is fading of what it was like
03:39when you would hold me incredibly tight.
03:46But I'll never forget the feeling it gave.
03:50The feeling that everything was all right.
03:56I'll keep going, like you're by my side.
04:02So when I see you again and you ask me how it went,
04:05I'll tell you it was fun and how you teaved everything I dreamt.
04:09Love you, my son.
04:11Hope those words are coming through.
04:19Thanks for taking over.
04:22But did you have to do it with a mouth full of knick-knacks?
04:26Do you know where your dad lives?
04:31I don't know. Never met him.
04:34Do you want to meet him?
04:36No, I'm not asked.
04:39I did as a kid though.
04:41You can still make some memories with your dad.
04:45I'd do anything to make some more with mine.
04:47Even for one day, one hour, one minute.
04:55I wonder what your dad's favourite knick-knacks were.
04:58I have a fading memory of him eating rib and saucy.
05:01Come on, lad.
05:02Where the fuck's all this coming from, Rhys?
05:04Do you think I've done a bad job or something?
05:06No, Mum, you've been amazing.
05:07It's just, I was speaking to Christopher and he wrote this poem to his dad before he died.
05:19It just gets you thinking, doesn't it?
05:21So what?
05:22We can write a poem to your dad if you want.
05:27I know this poem's come out of the blue, but we've never needed yet, so fuck you!
05:32See? Easy.
05:33Beautiful, Mum.
05:34It's just ever since you were born, all I've ever done is try and make you happy.
05:37And now I feel like you're telling me I haven't done enough.
05:39No, Mum, that's not true at all.
05:41You have been enough.
05:43I am happy.
05:45I am.
05:47Sorry, Mum.
05:49I didn't mean to upset you.
05:53Are you sure you're ready for this, Rhys?
05:56Yeah, Mum.
05:58I suppose I've always just pushed it away.
06:01But it's always been in the back of my head.
06:03Like, who is this fella who's 50% of who I am?
06:07OK.
06:10Well, I'm not ready.
06:12But if you are, then I suppose I need to be.
06:19Your dad's name's Darren.
06:23Disneyland Darren.
06:24What?
06:25I know.
06:26Look, his mate said it was because he was always going on about this trip he took to Disneyland.
06:30Even when we were having sex.
06:32He kept going on about how it reminded him of going down Splash Mountain.
06:36Mum!
06:37I know!
06:38It was a one night stand, son.
06:41After I found out I was pregnant, I tried to find him.
06:44I swear I did, but...
06:47He's not from round here.
06:50He's from Manchester.
06:51I'm sorry!
06:52I know!
06:53I know!
06:54I know!
06:56I tried my best to find him.
06:57So he doesn't know about me?
06:59No, son.
07:01Once I realised I couldn't find him.
07:03I knew where to just focus on you.
07:04I knew where to just focus on you.
07:07And the day you were born.
07:11I promised you that I'd be twice the mum that you deserve to make up for the fact that you never had your dad.
07:18And yet I've been more.
07:26Come here.
07:27Come on.
07:32I love you.
07:33I love you too.
07:35Oh!
07:36I love you so much.
07:38Me little garbage.
07:40I don't like...
07:42I don't like...
07:43I don't like...
07:45Hiya!
07:46I love you too.
07:47Oh, I'm working on a history project.
07:48With Ruby.
07:49Hey, did you hear about me dad's echo coming in at the weekend?
07:52He won 2,000 quid.
07:53It's crazy, huh?
07:55Why'd you pick Ruby to be your partner?
07:57She sits behind me in the class.
08:00Oh my God!
08:01Has he asked you to marry her?
08:03You what?
08:04You haven't given him your bank details, have you?
08:06Oh, I'm sure she'll use the winners to buy your lunches and the PS5 you want.
08:10Oh!
08:11And your dad defo cut her one more.
08:13He cashed out the pussy.
08:14He choked.
08:15PSG!
08:16Where Hob's going to score?
08:17He's all yours.
08:18Don't worry.
08:19Oh, thanks for finding that.
08:21The Disneyland discussion forums.
08:23They're a genius.
08:26This is it.
08:27Well, let's not judge him on where he lives.
08:30He can still be a really respectable guy.
08:36Which one of you is Rhys?
08:44You're home.
08:45You're home.
08:46You're home.
08:47You know we'll have a good time then.
08:51Hey, do you know what's strange, son?
08:52I've been having a lot of thoughts about your mum recently.
08:56So it's like a higher powers trying to tell me something.
08:57A lot of those thoughts was reaching into the wank bank, but still.
08:59I know it don't look like much, son, but I've not been able to work because of my disability.
09:00I have a severely stubbed toe and the pain.
09:03radiates through my legs.
09:05But don't worry.
09:06You know we're home.
09:07You've got a good time now.
09:08You know we're home.
09:09You know we'll have a good time then.
09:11Hey, do you know what's strange, son?
09:13I've been having a lot of thoughts about your mum recently.
09:15So it's like a higher powers trying to tell me something.
09:17A lot of those thoughts was reaching into the wank bank, but still.
09:20I know it don't look like much, son, but I've not been able to work because of my disability.
09:25I have a severely stubbed toe and the pain...
09:30radiates through my legs.
09:32But don't worry, because I've got big, big money coming my way.
09:35Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah.
09:38I'm always applying to a pointless millionaire.
09:41It's only a matter of time before I win big.
09:44I made it onto the chase once, son.
09:46Really? How'd you do?
09:47Well, I took the lower offer and I still got knocked out,
09:49but I was very unlucky with the questions.
09:51Currently doing another application for Pointless now as we speak.
09:54Oh, my God!
09:56We should do one together as a father and son team!
09:59I'm all right, to be honest.
10:02Fucking hell!
10:05Me old son fucking hates me!
10:08He doesn't hate you.
10:09He just needs a bit of time to get to know you.
10:13Oh, yeah.
10:15Oh, yeah.
10:18Time!
10:19And time is what we have got, son.
10:20Nothing but time.
10:23And I'm going to spend every single day making up for the time that we've lost.
10:27Every.
10:28Single.
10:30Day.
10:30Just you.
10:32And me.
10:35Together.
10:36I'm going to get off.
10:37It was nice to meet you.
10:39Oh, well, really?
10:40Hey, do you want to go go-karting tomorrow?
10:43I could take you swimming!
10:44That's it, you're coming.
10:46You see the States from?
10:4716 years for him.
10:48I'd rather not know where I came from if I came from that.
10:50I need the toilet before we go.
10:51Hurry up.
10:52Before he asks me to play catch or something.
10:54Hey, son, do you know how to ride a bike?
10:57Because I could teach you!
11:00I'll wait outside, bottle.
11:05Do you want to go home?
11:06Do you want to come to my mum's birthday meal tomorrow night?
11:14She really wants to meet you.
11:16We've got an extra seat at the table.
11:17There's a certain someone isn't invited.
11:19Er, sure.
11:20Last night, I was looking online and I found a local support group for family members of
11:24MS sufferers.
11:26There's one tomorrow night, actually.
11:28What an incredibly thoughtful gesture, Christopher.
11:30It's great that me mental well-being is clearly your top priority.
11:33Great.
11:34So, you'll meet my parents and then after I'll go to your house and meet yours.
11:37It'll be great.
11:38Erm, sure.
11:40Friday night at Siad's house.
11:42No waiting on the corner.
11:43I know it sounds daunting, but I could come with you, if that's okay.
11:47Thanks, Christopher.
11:47I'd love to go there tomorrow, together.
11:50So, actually, me and Louise, I finally opened up that bank account, so I have the money
11:55that I owe you for the lunches.
11:57Siad, you don't have to give me the money back.
12:00But what a wonderful sign of trust that you have done.
12:10It's not time to make a change.
12:14Just relax and take it in.
12:17If you say you are young, it's not your fault.
12:21What the fuck's that?
12:21There's so much you need to know.
12:25What are you doing here?
12:26God, is that Russell's dad?
12:27No, no, no.
12:28Check his autograph.
12:29It's a song about a father offering up his life experience for his son.
12:34It's what I'm going to do for you.
12:36Just get out, will you?
12:39I've got a surprise for you.
12:43The fringe on it.
12:45I've got one to you and all.
12:46Put in a win the gig on me quiz shows.
12:55Siad, have you met Rhys' dad?
12:57Step away from the kids.
12:58Now.
12:59Don't worry about it.
13:09So what?
13:10It changes nothing.
13:11Chin up, lads.
13:15I can't do it.
13:17That's your dad, isn't it?
13:19Your life is ruined.
13:21I'm questioning your whole identity.
13:22Shut up.
13:23Rhys, Disneyland Darren's not your dad.
13:25If only, lads.
13:26When we were there, I went to the bathroom
13:28so I could get a hair sample.
13:30I ordered a DNA test and I just got the results.
13:32He's not your dad.
13:33You serious?
13:34He's not me dad.
13:36He did that for me, lad.
13:38Nice one.
13:39But, um...
13:41How did you get me hair sampled, though?
13:43My bin still had your pubes in it
13:44from when you thought it was funny
13:45to keep leaving them on my pillow.
13:48Little man.
13:50I can't believe it, son.
13:53I was convinced he was your dad, cos...
13:55Cos what, Mum?
13:56Cos...
13:57When I slept with someone else
13:59the next weekend, we used protection.
14:00Oh, my God.
14:01Don't look at me like that!
14:03Me Nana just died.
14:04I was bladzered for three months.
14:06Out looking for distractions.
14:08Which is why
14:09I admire you so much.
14:11Just processing all your emotions.
14:12So is he, then.
14:14And please don't say
14:15Universal Studios, Steve.
14:17I didn't get his real name.
14:19He went
14:20by Mr 997.
14:22I met him in the farmer's arms.
14:24Afterwards, I moved away.
14:25I didn't get his phone number
14:27and I never saw him again.
14:30I'm sorry, son.
14:37Fucking hell!
14:38Fucking hell!
14:39Even DNA fucking hates me!
14:42Absolutely devastated, son.
14:46Bought this with me
14:47so we could build it today.
14:48Never gonna get the chance now, am I?
14:51You know, I bet your dad's
14:52that beanhead fella
14:53the lucky bastard!
14:54What fella?
14:55Mr 997.
14:56Well,
14:57the next weekend
14:59I went back to your mum's house
15:00with some flowers
15:01cos...
15:02I was smitten, lads.
15:04Anyway, I rang the doorbell
15:05and there was no answer.
15:07So then I looked through the window
15:08and that's when I see
15:10this hook-nosed fella
15:11with a massive beanhead
15:12shagging your mum on the couch.
15:13It was gutty!
15:14I saw him years later.
15:16I was in Liverpool
15:17and I saw his face on a poster.
15:18He was giving a talk
15:20on one of his books
15:21and I tell you what, lads.
15:22You never forget a cunt face.
15:24He's a writer?
15:25Do you remember the name of the book?
15:26No!
15:27I smashed up my tit!
15:29But I think it was something weird
15:31about looking through doors
15:32or windows
15:33because I remember thinking...
15:35Has he written a book all these years later
15:38about me seeing his cunt face?
15:41When I think about
15:43what you've become
15:45I feel sorry for your mum
15:48You say we're all having fun
15:52Do you know you're the only one
15:56and the lights go down
15:58and the smoke goes down
15:59and the smoke goes down
16:00and the lights go
16:02and the radio plays
16:05and the static stays
16:06and the smoke
16:07and the smoke goes down
16:09and the smoke goes down
16:10I was giving a talk
16:11on one of his books
16:12I think it was something weird
16:13about looking through doors
16:14or windows
16:16Has he written a book all these years later
16:18about me seeing his cunt face?
16:19Do you remember the name of the book?
16:21No!
16:21I smashed up my tits!
16:22Hook-nosed fella
16:23with a massive beamer
16:24shagging your mum on the couch
16:26Beamer!
16:26Beamer!
16:27You never forget a confit
16:28The lucky bastard
16:30You never forget a confit
16:31Mr. R-097!
16:36I found his address!
16:37Oh my God!
16:40Look at this place!
16:41I just want to say thanks for all your help
16:45And you know what you said about going down to Surrey
16:47See your dad's grave
16:48I'm coming with you
16:50I'm making a day out of it
16:53Pull some posh bits
16:54Yeah, let's do it
16:57Look at the size of this place
17:01You want me, Dot?
17:22Look at his awards
17:28That was my first ever published book
17:32It's a research study into NDEs
17:35Near-death experiences
17:36Common, aren't they?
17:38Like, 20% of people who come close to death have them
17:41That's exactly right
17:43People don't realise how common they are
17:45And please, help yourself to caramel hobnobs
17:48My favourite biscuit to dunk
17:50The caramel acts as a strength
17:52So it doesn't break
17:53Ensuring a sufficiently saturated biscuit
17:57God, that's extraordinary
18:02What's he doing here?
18:04It's extraordinary
18:04Fuck off!
18:05Fuck off!
18:06So, how's your mother?
18:09Yeah, she's good, yeah
18:09She's still debating
18:11What do you mean, debating?
18:12She was captain of the opposing debate team
18:14That's how we met
18:15Camilla's arguments to why water-heavy agricultural systems should be illegal
18:18Really blew me away
18:20Camilla?
18:21No!
18:21We're talking about Jodie, don't you remember?
18:24Who are you?
18:25You were shagging Jodie from behind
18:27And I was in the window when I saw you come
18:29And what is it about us and windows, eh?
18:31Well, that's it again
18:32So you're not Camilla's boy?
18:33Hey, did you and Jodie ever do that position
18:36Where she put her legs like that?
18:37What do you want, will you?
18:39Right
18:39You're sick
18:40Get out
18:41Wait, so you didn't sleep with Jodie 17 years ago?
18:44You met her at the Farmer's Arms pub?
18:45No
18:45I don't know any Jodie
18:47Get out before I call the police
18:49Come on
18:49Get out
18:50Move
18:50Just wait, hang on
18:51Your angry face looks like your gun face, to be honest
18:55To fear you, get off my property
18:58No, no, we didn't mean to
18:59Get out
19:01What are you doing here?
19:05I've been following you, son
19:06It's my duty to look out for you
19:09Guardian, protector
19:12Father
19:13You're not me dad
19:14Sorry, it's still really tough to hear
19:20And that's obviously not the feather, is it?
19:23Do you know, for a second
19:24I thought I'd find the reason why I've always felt like the black sheep in me family
19:28I finally felt a sense of belonging
19:32But it wasn't real
19:35Just don't embarrass me, okay?
19:41When do I ever embarrass you, love?
19:43I'm singing in the rain
19:47Hello
19:47Just singing in the rain
19:50I'm only joking with you
19:54Oh, it'll be dearly nice to meet him
19:56Seems all right
19:57But I'll show them not bad
19:59Hey
20:00Why did I fall, fall into your arms
20:05Will we ever be like the way we used to be
20:10Or have we lost ourselves
20:11Thought I know you
20:15Keep lying, cheating, prick
20:17Miloise
20:19Miloise
20:20Please, Habib, wait, wait
20:22Miloise
20:23Wait, just Habib, please, please
20:26Please
20:26I'm not cheating on you, okay?
20:28She's from a mother living family
20:29And my mum and uncle wanted me to meet her
20:31Well, why?
20:32You're coming out with me?
20:35They're scared I'm going to lose my culture
20:36And forget my heritage
20:37That's why you didn't want me coming round to your house?
20:41They don't want you to be with me?
20:43I don't know what I'm supposed to do
20:45Just talk to them
20:47Just tell them how you feel about me
20:48I've tried, Wallahi, I've tried
20:50Do you like the scale?
20:53How could I like her when I'm in love with you?
20:57But they're my family
20:59And they sacrificed so much for me to be here
21:01I'm sorry
21:04I can't
21:14Are you sure this is the place?
21:16I know it was 17 years ago
21:17But maybe someone at the Farmer's Arms will recognise it
21:19What are you doing here?
21:21Well, Christopher texted us telling us to come to the Farmer's Arms
21:25To ask around about Mr 997
21:27But as soon as we got here
21:28Some bloke accused me of being Trevor
21:31That broke up his marriage
21:33You what?
21:34Weird
21:34This other fella
21:35He's made me buy meat
21:37Oh, man, that stinks
21:40And they're not approaching normal people
21:41One bit
21:42If I was just in the cubicle next to me
21:44And slid on the door
21:44Look, you'd either find them or you don't
21:48But we'll always have each other, okay?
21:51Now, I know you didn't like it
21:53When Disneyland Darren's ever needed you
21:55So I'm not gonna do that
21:56I just
21:56I want you to know you're so special
21:59Please?
22:01Ignite that light
22:03Let it shine
22:05Just own the night
22:10Like the fall down
22:12What are you doing?
22:13You're off your head, you know
22:14Baby, you're a father
22:15You work, yes, kid
22:18Come, I'll let you come
22:19Mum?
22:21I've got to go
22:21I'll text you later
22:22And I love you
22:23You followed us here?
22:27You know, me dad, I knew it
22:28But why did you lie?
22:30I've got no idea what you were chatting, lad
22:32But if you keep staring
22:32The biggest one's getting chinned
22:33Are you with me?
22:35Eh?
22:35Hey
22:35Martin didn't have a tattoo
22:37I think you think I'm Martin
22:40No, no, no, I'm Alan
22:42It's the twin
22:43But they call me Mr 997
22:45Because I've got the highest score
22:46On the boxing machine in this place
22:4720 years and the record still stands
22:49These new boxing machines don't count, lad
22:54Proper jack
22:55Scoring a thousand on them
22:56Is like scoring 600 in my day
22:58The game's gone, lad
22:59Do you remember a Jodie?
23:01You met her at this pub
23:02Like 17 years ago?
23:04Jodie, Jodie
23:04Bloody hell, yeah
23:07Jodie?
23:09Fuck, that's a blast from the past, that, lads
23:11This is Rhys
23:12Jodie's son
23:13Rhys
23:14We thought Martin was his dad
23:16But
23:16You're his dad
23:18You haven't me on, fella
23:23You're my boy
23:29He's got a look at you, then
23:33Eh?
23:34Eh?
23:36Yeah, you know what I say, now
23:37You've got them boxer's arms, like me
23:38Let's test your jaw, though
23:40See if you've got mine
23:40Come here
23:42Well, you've got that boring sauce I wear to your dad, eh?
23:45Eh?
23:46That a proper snows on you there, lad
23:48That's not from me
23:48But if you've got a big dick
23:50That is
23:51Know what I mean?
23:53Hey, fellas
23:54This is Rhys
23:55Me son
23:56Go ahead
23:57Go on, say something
24:00He's too happy he doesn't know what to say
24:02Soppy little blurt
24:03Come on
24:04He's one of our own
24:06He's one of our own
24:08Fuck
24:09He's stopping
24:10He's one of our own
24:12He's one of our own
24:14He's one of our own
24:17Rhys will bring
24:18He's one of our own
24:20Not an easy thing to choose
24:27He's one of our own
24:28Sorry, something's come up
24:32You want a party?
24:34Is that Mel?
24:38Are you with them all?
24:39Yeah, but
24:40My Luisa's right about you
24:41Why didn't you just tell me
24:42If you weren't interested
24:43You snob
24:44You alright?
24:59Where's Christopher?
25:04I don't know
25:06Where's the odds?
25:13I don't know
25:13I'd stay with you
25:16Oh my God
25:20That's Mr Dunn
25:21Holding the door open for her
25:25Because you think she's weak and incompetent, sir
25:28Is she allowed her own money, sir?
25:30Let her out the cage for tonight, did you?
25:33Sir?
25:34I did, yeah?
25:35I should be back in by nine
25:37See, we're outside school
25:39So I don't have to take this shit here
25:41Boom
25:43Look, I should have listened to you laughing out for me, girl
25:52Instead of just getting pissed off
25:54Because I was worried what you were saying might be true
25:56I would say the same
25:57I should know you've always got me back
26:00I don't think I'll ever meet anyone
26:02Who I'll have more of a laugh with than you
26:04Same here, girl
26:06We are going to smash the rest of this year
26:09Love you, girl
26:11We thought we were the one
26:14This is where you belong
26:16Alan's kid is over, girl
26:19He's done
26:21Looking back on when we first met
26:26I cannot escape and I cannot forget
26:31Baby, you're the one
26:34You still turn me on
26:37You can make me whole again
26:40So now I'll have to wait
26:47But baby, if you change your mind
26:50You can make me whole again
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