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00:003, 2, 1, slow.
00:10Yes!
00:11Woo!
00:12Previously on Tiffany Haddish Goes Off,
00:15the Sangoma can call upon your ancestors.
00:17I would love a message from my grandma, Alice.
00:20You are carrying lots of negative energy.
00:22You need to do a cleansing so that you have that connection.
00:26It will be my family that don't show up.
00:28The ancestors are asking, where are your kids?
00:31I just have one daughter.
00:33Did you have any miscarriage?
00:35Yeah.
00:37Is it a reason why you didn't share it with me?
00:39You can be a little bit controlling.
00:44I'm going to be bringing them over to the tables.
00:46Ooh, bringing what over to the tables?
00:48Y'all next husband?
00:49Yeah, you know I ain't had sex since October, so...
00:58I feel like you can be a little bit controlling.
01:11I just had to go.
01:13Sometimes I need to separate myself from people.
01:16I wanted to have control over my life
01:18without me having to get my sister's approval.
01:23When we went into the townships and in the Sangoma,
01:25when I asked them,
01:27did any ancestors come through for me?
01:29Is there a message?
01:30And they said,
01:31you always worried about your siblings.
01:33Like, you care too much.
01:34Like, that is so true.
01:36I'm constantly worried about y'all,
01:38and I just want the best for y'all.
01:41It's like I can't even control myself.
01:43I want to, like, make you okay.
01:46But for me, that was just too much control,
01:51where I had to kind of like,
01:52okay, I'm going to set some boundaries.
01:55And even, like, with relationships,
01:57like, I know you don't like the choices
01:59that I'm making in.
02:00I also feel like when you say,
02:02oh, well, Sparkle's not ready.
02:03That's controlling.
02:05You don't know if I'm ready or not.
02:07But I do know...
02:09No, I'm serious.
02:13Come on.
02:14Hence, that's why you are single.
02:18I'm single because I choose not to be
02:20in a relationship at this moment.
02:21You're single because you are not ready
02:23to open up and receive someone.
02:26You're only focused on you and your daughter,
02:29and that's always exing someone else out.
02:34Sparkle's relationship with Harmy
02:36is very codependent.
02:38She picked up and moved to Arizona
02:40to be closer to Harmy.
02:41And I think it's so unhealthy.
02:43I'm hoping that Sparkle learned
02:46a little bit more about herself
02:47so she can get closer to me,
02:49helping her find a man.
02:51If the right man comes along,
02:53I will be ready.
02:55Whether you feel like I'm ready or not,
02:57I will be mentally ready for a relationship.
03:01We'll just see.
03:02We'll just see.
03:03But I do receive that.
03:05I'm going to step back a little bit.
03:07A little bit.
03:08A little bit.
03:09A little bit.
03:10We'll see how a little bit that is.
03:11Yeah.
03:12I'm going to do it.
03:13Let me kiss you.
03:14Mwah.
03:15I love you.
03:16Do you remember me telling you about the time
03:18I went out there to the pilot?
03:19Mm-mm.
03:20That was like...
03:21I don't think so.
03:22That wanted me to put my foot in his butt.
03:23You did it?
03:24I tried.
03:25He was like, put that foot in my ass.
03:38I was like, okay.
03:39And I was like...
03:40Oh, my God.
03:41Wait.
03:42What was his position?
03:44The position on his back?
03:47Like, what was he doing?
03:49Oh, my God.
03:51Oh, my God.
03:52It's a lot of things they tell you in dating.
03:55Like, you're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs
03:57before you get to your prance.
03:59They never tell you.
04:00Some of these frogs that you meet
04:02might want you to put a toe in their booty hole.
04:06Oh, my God.
04:07That's Ricky as shit.
04:09Hey, we back.
04:10Hey.
04:11Hey.
04:12Y'all good?
04:13Yeah.
04:14So what was y'all over there talking about?
04:15Sister stuff.
04:16Ladies.
04:17Yes.
04:18And I'll tell you to pack the bags.
04:19I got to tell you where we going.
04:33We were in Cape Town.
04:36Fun.
04:37Felt like California.
04:38Then we were in Victoria Falls.
04:41Very multi-culture.
04:42But now we're going to the capital of Zimbabwe.
04:45Arari.
04:46Let's go to Arari!
04:50This is where we're going to see how people really live.
04:53The day-to-day life.
04:55Ooh!
04:56We're in a big city.
04:57That was Victoria Falls, lady.
04:58Beautiful!
04:59Learned a lot.
05:00Learned that an old white man discovered Victoria Falls.
05:03He claimed it.
05:04He discovered it.
05:05Even though there's people already there.
05:06Even though there's people already there.
05:07Just like the Americans.
05:08I was Victoria Falls' lady.
05:10Beautiful.
05:12Learned a lot.
05:14Learned that an old white man discovered Victoria Falls.
05:17He claimed it.
05:18He discovered it.
05:20Even though there's people already there.
05:21Even though there's people already there.
05:23Just like the Americans.
05:25Okay.
05:26Yeah.
05:27He discovered it and named it Victoria after the Queen of England.
05:32Ain't it funny how it's always white men that's discovering stuff?
05:35Like nobody else in the world discovered anything?
05:38Who took them there?
05:40Because somebody had to take your ass there for you to discover it.
05:45It actually was there already.
05:47I mean, you just told all the other white people.
05:50And then y'all came and conquered.
05:54And took the resources.
05:55This thing look huge.
06:07This house looks scary.
06:11What is that?
06:15Where are the lights?
06:17Damn.
06:18I don't know, but there is bars on every single window.
06:26I wish we would have came here when it was day.
06:28It smells good in here.
06:30It smells like food.
06:31Yeah.
06:32This is actually the biggest house out of all the places we've been.
06:37This is not my vibe.
06:40Tiff, what happened?
06:41Tiff, how long do we have to stay here?
06:45We're going to be here for about six days.
06:47Oh, my Jesus.
06:49You feel anything?
06:51Picking up anything?
06:51Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
06:53Should we all stay in the same room?
06:55I think we should stay.
06:56Maybe the first night?
06:58I think we should sleep in the same room.
07:00Because y'all making me scared.
07:01We got really spoiled in Cape Town.
07:04New, modern, beautiful home.
07:07Victoria Falls, stunning.
07:09Definitely built with intention.
07:12And I'm not saying this one isn't built with intention, but
07:14you can feel a lot of people have come in and out of this home.
07:24Samantha.
07:25Hi.
07:25Hi, Samantha.
07:26Sharmona.
07:27Samantha.
07:28Selena.
07:29Samantha.
07:29Sparkle.
07:30Samantha, nice to meet you guys.
07:31Nice to meet you.
07:31Can you give us a little history of this place?
07:34Because we done walked around.
07:35And how old is this place?
07:37Like, what's the tea?
07:38This is one of, like, the oldest neighborhoods in Harare.
07:42It's quite old, yeah.
07:43You can feel it.
07:44Spirits roaming around.
07:46Good spirit stories.
07:47I'm staying down.
07:48So how locked in are we for this place?
07:52Are we in?
07:54I'm not excited about this house.
07:56Mind you, all the rooms is, like, spread out down this long hallway.
08:00Like that old movie.
08:02Y'all know what I'm talking about with the big wheel
08:03and the little kid just going down the halls.
08:05Like, literally, that's what's going on.
08:08Can anyone even hear me if I'm screaming or yelling out?
08:11Tiffany.
08:12Yeah.
08:13Dinner's ready.
08:14Okay, here we come.
08:16Like, baby.
08:17SOS.
08:18We need help.
08:19The chef will come and explain her dish,
08:20and then let me know if you want anything else.
08:23I got some questions for you.
08:25Sure.
08:25Pretty much since 2018, I've been doing, like, a lot of research on Africa,
08:32learning what I can, right?
08:34And, like, in America, I'm in the process of opening a grocery store.
08:39For the past five years, I literally be working on opening up an African grocery store.
08:44I still live in South Central LA, and I'm driving around, and I'm seeing two grocery stores are shut down.
08:52And then the food that some of these stores are selling is not necessarily the food that you want to put in your body.
08:57So I decided I'm going to create my own grocery store.
09:01You'll see grocery stores that are in the Mexican community, like, Mexican grocery stores, Asian grocery stores.
09:09You'll see, like, an African grocery store.
09:12If you do see an African market, it's, like, in a liquor store.
09:16And this grocery store is going to have great food that comes from vendors that look like me from all over the world,
09:23because I'm a firm believer, once you understand how food and money works,
09:27the community is more happy and productive, and then there's no more systemic racism.
09:33I'm interested in meeting farmers, vendors, creators, culturalists, all that.
09:40Like, who do you think I should meet with?
09:42I'm not experienced in that, but I can find someone who is.
09:47Hey, Shana.
09:47Are you ready for me to introduce my dishes?
09:50Yes.
09:51What is this?
09:52So it's brown rice, and I put peanut butter in it.
09:55This is some goat stew.
09:57And this is a sadza.
09:58This you eat with your hands.
10:00Okay.
10:00Okay.
10:01So enjoy, ladies.
10:03Thank you so much.
10:04It smells so good.
10:06This is delicious.
10:08Oh, don't eat with the fork, right?
10:10The chairs are 100 years old.
10:12They feel like they're going to break.
10:14The walls might be less than that.
10:16Mm-hmm.
10:17She's already over us, okay?
10:19I think she is.
10:20She's like, I'm at a king.
10:23Right.
10:24This is a beautiful home.
10:26As a real estate agent, I do appreciate the home and the style of it and everything,
10:31but it's just, like, not for me.
10:33Mm-hmm.
10:34Just like your house.
10:36The fuck that's supposed to mean, Samona?
10:39You sold me the house.
10:41You know what?
10:42You are not invited to no slumber party.
10:44What's funny is I don't prefer her home either.
10:46Sparkle, the spirits you were saying that were here, they don't seem negative, right?
11:14Or what were you picking up on?
11:16I feel like there is spirits, like, roaming around the house, and it's more than one.
11:20But I don't feel like it's anything negative.
11:23Feels like the ancestors.
11:24Yeah.
11:25Mm-hmm.
11:25Waking up in a holiday.
11:27The house doesn't really feel as creepy as it did coming in.
11:32I think it was the lighting.
11:33Where we are right now is not as new as the homes that we've been in, but we're not camping.
11:39I felt like somebody was in my bed, I'm telling you.
11:42Like, tossing and turning in there.
11:43But I just was like, hey, be still.
11:45Damn.
11:47Damn.
11:48I didn't actually feel anything.
11:51I was making that up to make them comfortable.
11:54But I'm not good at lying.
11:57That's what I look like when I lie.
12:00I've stayed in worse dress.
12:02I have too.
12:03We're going to meet this lady named Jackie called Vault's Cosmetics.
12:19Look at that grocery store.
12:21Pick and pay.
12:22Jackie girl!
12:25That is so cute.
12:27How are you?
12:29I'm Shabona.
12:30My grandma, I'm good to see you.
12:33Oh my goodness.
12:34I haven't seen you in so long.
12:36Do you remember?
12:37Yes.
12:38Oh my God.
12:39Mo to Mo.
12:40I want to cry.
12:41Don't cry.
12:42I'm glad she remembers.
12:44Now, I haven't seen Jackie in 20 years.
12:47When last time I saw her, we was working on this reality makeover show in Los Angeles.
12:52And it was so crazy because I was living in my car.
12:57I was afraid to ask for help.
12:59And while Jackie was doing my makeup, she made me feel safe.
13:03She made me feel seen.
13:05We were talking about Africa, the culture.
13:08We were talking about all these things.
13:10I will never forget that.
13:12She was like mothering to me in that moment.
13:14And now look at us here in the motherland.
13:18I love a good full circle moment.
13:20Tonight we want to go to the club.
13:22Okay.
13:22We want to get our makeup done for tonight.
13:26What have you eaten so far?
13:28What's the name of that stuff we was eating with our hands?
13:31Salsa.
13:31Salsa.
13:31Salsa, yeah.
13:32Let me tell you a little known fact, right?
13:35When you're married here, in order for you to really feed the family, you need to know how
13:42to make Salsa.
13:42I'm horrible at cooking, but because I was going to get married, I needed to know how
13:51to make Salsa, and I needed to know how to make Oxtail.
13:54And if I didn't know those things, it was going to be bad.
13:57You know, since I last saw you, I mean, oh my God, all those years ago, I have been married,
14:04divorced, and like, okay, I'm going to be honest with you, I ain't dating nobody right
14:08now.
14:08I've been really learning to be with me.
14:11I love that.
14:13This is what I want.
14:15Okay.
14:15You tell me if I'm crazy.
14:16Okay.
14:16I want to learn the traditional ways here in Zimbabwe of like what a woman does before
14:23she gets married.
14:24Oh my God.
14:24And then I want to marry myself.
14:28I want to marry me, because how can I expect somebody to marry me if I can't marry me?
14:32You know what I'm saying?
14:33Can I just tell you how amazing that is?
14:35I want us to do it.
14:36Are you willing to do it?
14:37Yes, I'm willing to do that.
14:38Are you willing to do the whole process?
14:39Yes, I want to do the whole process.
14:41I want to learn it.
14:41I want to see.
14:42I want to experience it.
14:43Are you willing to put on an outfit and get it made?
14:47Yes.
14:48I want to do the whole process.
14:49I want the traditional garb, all that.
14:51Oh my God.
14:52I have the right person actually to make an outfit.
14:54You do?
14:55A hundred percent.
14:56Let's do it.
14:57I'm confused.
14:58I've never heard or experienced anyone who wants to marry themselves.
15:04Is this a joke?
15:05Because it's not funny.
15:07Tiffany is just so out of the box.
15:10Like she think of the most spontaneous, crazy things to do.
15:13And her marrying herself is one of them.
15:16But I love it.
15:17You're going to have a family.
15:19You're going to have aunts.
15:20All your girlfriends are involved.
15:22Yeah.
15:22Everybody has to participate.
15:26Being in America is one of the most heartbreaking things because you just want to belong.
15:33Right?
15:33Yeah.
15:34But one of the beautiful things about Africa is all we want to do is bring you back.
15:40Right.
15:41So you let me know where you want to get fitted.
15:43I'll bring her down.
15:45And we have to do this.
15:46Yeah.
15:46Let's do it.
15:47Hey, baby.
15:55I like the way that grocery store look.
16:01Hey, y'all.
16:06So I'm out here in Zimbabwe, in Adhari.
16:12And look at the grocery store.
16:16It's beautiful.
16:18This is what I love.
16:19They sell sugar cane.
16:21It is fire.
16:23They got their dates on deck.
16:26It's absolutely humongous.
16:29In Africa, baby.
16:33Let me turn this camera on and show my hood what is really going on here in Africa.
16:39Because they over here thinking people starving with flies and stuff on the mix.
16:43They sitting in the jungle, sitting in the bush.
16:45And bam, there's the store.
16:48I just like demystifying shit.
16:51It don't smell bad.
16:54Let me eat the party.
16:56Look at that.
16:56Look at all that meat over there.
16:58I'm playing.
16:59All the paper towels and toilet paper.
17:04They got dog food.
17:06I am just heart full to know that what you saw on TV, what you read about in that newspaper,
17:15demystify the bullshit.
17:17Bring out the facts.
17:19Y'all have a good one.
17:20You look freaking amazing.
17:35I feel light.
17:39I feel like these knees is working again.
17:43Yeah, that's really how it started.
17:46I started having a lot of tension in my knees.
17:48I was like, I got to do something.
17:49I was nearly 300 pounds about two years ago, and I have had a major weight loss.
17:56I think 85 pounds, and I'm proud of myself.
18:00I'm proud of myself.
18:01It's the commitment that I made to myself, and it's the commitment that I will continue to
18:07make for myself.
18:08You've been shining so bright or confident.
18:11Yeah, I feel like I have been really trying to practice putting myself out there a little
18:18bit more.
18:19Open.
18:20Right.
18:21The pearl is bursting.
18:22Yeah.
18:23Isn't it?
18:24Baby.
18:25We should get some men because there's been a drought out here.
18:29Right.
18:30See, I be having these dreams, okay, that I'm married, and my husband, he don't have
18:36no face, just a penis, beautiful, shmedium penis.
18:42Shmedium.
18:43I like a shmedium.
18:44Me too.
18:45I mean, it's been like nine months.
18:51Mm, that's a long time.
18:53How do you handle it?
18:55I've just been focused on myself and my daughter.
18:58I wasn't thinking about no man, girl.
19:00Well, I got my power tools.
19:02Mm-hmm.
19:03Does that count as LBC2 or no?
19:05I don't know, Tiff.
19:06I'm on a different celibacy level than you.
19:10Tiffany, since she was young, she's like, hey, what you doing?
19:14Give me a hug.
19:15She's been sexual.
19:16I'm not.
19:17I'm practicing celibacy, and Tiffany is practicing partial abstinence.
19:24So she's looking for someone to be with, but no one is worthy yet, but she wants it.
19:30So I'm supposed to deny myself all pleasures?
19:32You ain't got to deny nothing.
19:33You can do whatever you want to do.
19:35You damn right.
19:36You're like, oh, no, I don't think about those type of things.
19:38I'm more into the universe than, you know, to, you know, speech reality, and, you know,
19:43I just said that.
19:44It doesn't even cross my mind, just penis, orgasms, no, I don't think about those at
19:49all.
19:50You feel like I'm a nun.
19:51Girls, y'all got two kids, so how y'all getting it in?
19:58Because I need some more tips.
19:59I'm like, well, let you go to sleep.
20:01Being in the house so long with no kids, just us two is...
20:02Right.
20:03You got that freedom.
20:04Yeah.
20:05Yeah.
20:06But we do make a point every week to go out like we're dating still.
20:08Really?
20:09Yeah.
20:10Learning how to, like, reset that sometimes, you know?
20:11No, they make it seem like it's just...
20:12Yeah, yeah.
20:13You get married and then it's happily ever after, but nobody talks about, like, what keeps
20:18it together to keep it happy, you know?
20:19Yeah.
20:20Yeah.
20:21That's so true.
20:22You know what?
20:23Like, I used to be married and I liked the idea of coming home to somebody.
20:38And I also just love the word husband.
20:40That's, like, my favorite.
20:41I didn't even call him by his name.
20:42I was just calling him husband.
20:43Husband.
20:44Husband.
20:45Husband, can you do this?
20:46Husband, can you go there?
20:47Lick me on my knees.
20:48Husband, can you...
20:49Lick me on my knees?
20:50Yeah, I like the girl.
20:52The more I think about it, the more I'm like, how can I expect anybody to, like, want to
20:57be with me or want to, like, marry me if I'm not, like, married to me?
21:03Self-love, it all starts from there.
21:05Yeah.
21:06Loving yourself first.
21:07I do love on me.
21:08Mm-hmm.
21:09I'm not gonna lie to you.
21:10I've been thinking about marrying myself for a while now.
21:12I'll never forget the first time I thought of it.
21:14It was 2018.
21:16I was dealing with a man that was a buckethead.
21:19And he said some shit to me.
21:22How you ever gonna get you a husband if you don't do what I tell you to do?
21:27And I was like, I'll be my husband.
21:30I could take care of me better than you could.
21:33Would you officiate my wedding?
21:35Girl, yes.
21:36Yeah.
21:37Since you just sent go on my...
21:38I'm certified.
21:39...your ordained minister?
21:40Yes.
21:41Yes.
21:42How did you do that?
21:43Girl, I just went online.
21:50There go Jackie right there.
21:51All right.
21:52She gonna take our measurements.
21:54Hey, girl.
21:55Hey.
21:56Good to see you.
21:57Oh.
21:58Hi.
21:59Hi, Jackie.
22:00Sparkle.
22:01Hi, I'm Tiffany.
22:02All right.
22:03So with me here, I just have a few designs that you'll definitely like.
22:17She is serious about marrying herself.
22:20I mean, the women are here talking with sketches, talking about making us dresses.
22:24And I'm like, okay, for real.
22:26Marriage is a union for a reason.
22:27It's two people.
22:28I just need a little bit more information.
22:31Uh-huh.
22:32That's so cute.
22:33Yeah, this is real cute.
22:34Wow.
22:35So this is the bride's dress.
22:36Yes.
22:37Yes.
22:38Yes.
22:39Yes.
22:40Yes.
22:41Yes.
22:42Yes.
22:43Yes.
22:44Yes.
22:45Yes.
22:46Yes.
22:47Yes.
22:48Yes.
22:49Yes.
22:50Yes.
22:51Yes.
22:52Yes.
22:53Yes.
22:54Yes.
22:55Yes.
22:56Wow.
22:57So what we're trying to do is we are trying to modernize our culture.
23:00Okay.
23:01But in a very lovely way that everyone can wear it.
23:04Everyone is proud to wear it.
23:05That's sexy.
23:06Yeah.
23:07As someone who...
23:08Get married.
23:09I'm getting married.
23:10Oh.
23:11Congratulations.
23:13You know, we've been dating for 44 years.
23:16Okay.
23:17Really getting to know each other.
23:19And I want to do this.
23:20I want it to be special.
23:21So, uh, and these are my bridesmaids.
23:24Wow.
23:25Long dress or short dress?
23:26Long.
23:27Extra long.
23:28Well, you know, culturally, we're not going to be doing any short dresses.
23:32They're coming to the...
23:33Super short.
23:34No.
23:35Come have them super short.
23:36You see, this is where the young people come in.
23:37Right.
23:38Both Sparkle and I don't have men in our lives right now.
23:44So...
23:45Well, this is why this is perfect.
23:46This is awesome.
23:47Like, you know, you got to take care of yourself until he come along.
23:51Absolutely.
23:52Mm-hmm.
23:53Then I'll be a polygamist.
23:54Because I'll be married to me, and then I'm going to have him join our marriage.
23:58Mm-hmm.
23:59I understand where shipping is coming from.
24:01She's gone through a lot these past two years.
24:05Anything she needs to do to level up, I'm in support of.
24:09I could be like, look, it's two.
24:10It's been...
24:11I'm married already.
24:12So this is a little freaky.
24:13I love it.
24:14I love it.
24:15What?
24:16Why you look at me like that?
24:17It sounds fun.
24:20It's not like she's marrying her dog or anything.
24:23Like, that, to me, would be like...
24:25We'll be ready when you are.
24:27Yay!
24:28Thank you so much.
24:29Yay!
24:30Bye, ladies!
24:31Bye!
24:32See you later!
24:33What you thinking, Shimona?
24:35Hmm?
24:36A little cray-cray?
24:37I'm just like...
24:39That was like your face said it all.
24:41You was like...
24:42Because marriage is not...
24:44You know what I mean?
24:46We're getting our hair braided in Africa!
24:53And for your first time...
24:58I know.
24:59But she's braided her own hair before.
25:01No, not with extensions.
25:03Oh, you right.
25:04I've only braided my own hair.
25:06My very first hustle was braiding hair in the community
25:11when I was like 11, 12 years old.
25:13I think I used to charge people like 50 bucks a head.
25:17And I would have like two to three clients every weekend.
25:20And I thought I was rich.
25:22I love how we as black women, with our hair texture, we're able to change our hair in multiple ways.
25:29Uh-huh.
25:30But corporate, like whenever I would have an interview, I'm definitely straightening my hair.
25:35Right.
25:36I always would wear pearls.
25:37No curls.
25:38Oh, really?
25:39I would do like slick back buns.
25:41Because a lot of times, you know, if you come in there looking too ethnic first, you won't get the job.
25:47Mm-hmm.
25:48Yeah.
25:49Sad to say, but it's true.
25:50Which is sad.
25:51Yeah.
25:52I'm definitely going to an interview with my hair straight.
25:53I might do something different once I'm hired.
25:55Yeah.
25:56Well, since you never had braids before, you going to feel a little tension for maybe a week or five days or something like that.
26:03Yeah.
26:04Oh, God.
26:05I didn't take no ibuprofen.
26:06Oh, I brought you something.
26:07Oh, good.
26:08Oh, yeah.
26:09Take that ibuprofen.
26:10That Shemona's trying to hand out.
26:11It only lasts.
26:12It's so long.
26:13Whew.
26:14It's not horrible.
26:16You just, you know.
26:17Now, I don't want my friend to suffer.
26:19But I do want her to have a great understanding of what a majority of black women go through.
26:25It's what we call a protective hairstyle.
26:28Now, I don't know where the protection is if it's pulling your thoughts out.
26:35Why you got to braid the braid so tight, ma'am?
26:38I get you braiding this part tight, but why, why, why at the roots?
26:43Why on my hairline?
26:44You want to see my thoughts.
26:46Look at Selena over there.
26:49Wondering where her thoughts went.
26:52Did you ever feel like you wanted your hair to be like something else other than what it was?
26:59Hell, yeah.
27:00I used to pretend like I had Barbie hair.
27:03At some point, I was like wearing like different wigs.
27:06Yeah.
27:07And then I would do...
27:08Oh, you was doing wigs?
27:09And she had cut all...
27:10Remember when you cut all your hair off and you didn't tell nobody?
27:12Yeah.
27:13But I know.
27:14I shaved my head bald.
27:15Really?
27:16Like twice.
27:17Yeah.
27:18I've been talking about it for a minute.
27:19Sorry.
27:20I just want to shave all my hair off.
27:22It just looks so liberating.
27:24You know?
27:25It'll be cutting off all the old shit.
27:27Kind of like when I jumped.
27:29Oh, my God!
27:34We did this shit!
27:36We did it!
27:38Oh, it's beautiful.
27:40You know, like I'm just going to leave all this old stuff behind.
27:43I say do it.
27:44I was bald-headed for a whole year.
27:47I wanted to see my scalp.
27:48I know every inch of my body.
27:51I know where all the dings and dents are.
27:53I know where the moles and the bumps and all this stuff.
27:56I know where everything is.
27:57Also, it was pandemic.
27:59I ain't doing no red carpet snow time soon.
28:01So I could be bald-headed.
28:03Oh, my God.
28:04My neck got a full workout over here.
28:07I'm sleeping.
28:09So you know how I walked through the grocery store
28:11and posted it.
28:12Oh, this makes me so mad.
28:14Why?
28:15What?
28:16Uh...
28:17It says,
28:18Tiffany had a seemingly shocked after coming across
28:22a grocery store in Africa.
28:24I opened my phone, and now I see
28:27that the grocery store video that I made has gone viral.
28:31It don't smell bad.
28:38And then someone goes,
28:39this headline is actually very misleading.
28:42She's debunking the stereotypes
28:44and celebrating educating slash showing people...
28:46Thank you. Thank you.
28:47...that Zimbabwe has this type of grocery store.
28:51...at the neighborhood talk.
28:53You know better.
28:54There's so many stereotypes that's fed to us
28:58about what Africa is really like.
29:00Tiff is talking about some of that in her stand-ups.
29:03They showed us in America that everybody had a big old belly,
29:07it was all little hungry black kids,
29:09and they all had flies.
29:10We...
29:11That's what we thought.
29:12That's what we thought.
29:13It comes off as a way to create this divide
29:16between African Americans and Africans,
29:20and us really getting in touch with our roots.
29:23Like, I'm just...
29:24Pin it.
29:25You ain't got to worry about that, girl.
29:27You ain't got to say shit.
29:29Oh, that feel good.
29:31I think it's good.
29:33Good?
29:34Yeah.
29:35Oh, Selena, that looks cute on you!
29:38Ah!
29:39Woof!
29:40The pain I'm feeling at the top of my head.
29:43I might take these out in, like, a week.
29:46But I'm feeling cute.
29:49It looks sexy.
29:50It's very different from what I normally do.
29:53And I cannot wait to call my husband.
29:57Ah!
29:58We just got our hair braided in Zimbabwe.
30:02Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
30:04Ha!
30:05Ha!
30:07Ha!
30:16What did you guys think about my hair?
30:17I liked it.
30:18Yeah.
30:19It's a different look.
30:20A little more natural, so...
30:21It's heavy, as fuck.
30:22Ha!
30:23Ha!
30:24So...
30:27Tis, I've been seeing a little chatter
30:29with your grocery store post.
30:31Ah, yeah.
30:32Yeah. You know what? I was like excited and happy because, oh, I'm about to show everybody
30:39this grocery store. Right. I'm in the process of opening a grocery store.
30:47You didn't have any bad intent. We know your heart. You didn't mean it that way. Just like,
30:52look, this is, we want to show the world. This is what they have. It's not what you
30:56perceive it to be. What America said it was like, poor and they're in huts or they're
31:01picking this, this and that. Yeah. Like, I just want to prove to them, like, this is what it
31:06really is. They got supermarkets. Here's the truth. They got supermarkets. Yeah. I don't like the
31:11backlash that she's receiving. Them, like, making her out to be a bad person, she's really not. I
31:17think she just moves off impulse and she should have took some time to think about it before
31:24posting it. She is human. She's a person. It's whatever. Yeah. She don't receive information
31:30how they want to perceive it. You know, if I got to be the scapegoat for them, like, if I got to be
31:36the sacrificial lamb or whatever, to bring eyes to them, they're fantastic.
31:43This is really cute. Oh, man. We're the wrong shoes. It's all good, though. Let me dust them off.
31:50Oh, these baskets are cute. How are you? You look nice. I'm looking to meet farmers,
32:06especially female farmers. We are here. Yay! Can I get your number? I would love to get you guys'
32:12contacts, because I'm in the process of opening a store in America, and I want products that come
32:17from here. Mmm. Sounds juicy. Mom, this is delicious walking in the door. Good, girl. Yeah.
32:26I like when men come up and try to feed me, girl. We got to try it. You know what I mean?
32:32You got to put it in my mouth. Let me see what's up.
32:35Mm-hmm. Baby! This is fire. You grow this? You grow this?
32:45Yes, I do. Ah! Is this yourself? Oh, you're shop manager. Oh, okay. You got a wife?
32:51No. Yeah? They're checking. They're checking.
32:55I'm about to tell everybody about this corn. Mmm. Mmm. Good.
33:00Get that wherever you're growing it. It's delicious.
33:04I'm going to build new relationships, and I'm going to collect the people that I need to help me
33:09build this bridge from this side of the world to that side of the world.
33:15This is spinach? Yeah, this is spinach. I have never... I thought this was buck truck.
33:20Because the ones we have at home are flat. Yeah, they're flat and, like, they wilt really fast.
33:25This? You can ship this, huh? Yeah. Can you do a whole, like, a big order?
33:30Yes. Yeah, you can harvest a lot. Yeah, yeah.
33:34Yeah.
33:36The most dead plants can be fine.
33:38I saw your video on social media.
33:40Mm-hmm. I loved it.
33:41Thank you. It was beautiful.
33:42I just wanted to show people that, you know...
33:44It was absolutely beautiful.
33:45Yeah. Hey, they got everything here. Before I came, I was telling my friends,
33:49oh, yeah, I'm going to Africa. They're like, oh, you better take snacks. Oh, you better this.
33:53You better bring your own water, because they don't got water. They don't got food.
33:55They starving out there. And I'm like, I don't think they're starving. I think they're doing okay.
34:00Everybody's not going to be happy with you delivering what's real. But the ones that are happy about it,
34:08the ones that do receive the truth, those are the ones that matter.
34:17Girl, this is fire. Fire. Fire.
34:20Fire. So sweet.
34:22So sweet.
34:23And we're going to be shipping these to America.
34:25Yeah.
34:25Yeah.
34:27And all the rest can kiss my ass.
34:28Success.
34:30All over the world.
34:33We're going to work together.
34:41How is that bell pepper?
34:43It's delicious. You want a bite?
34:44No.
34:45It's so good.
34:46Yeah, I want to taste it.
34:48Because I don't believe you.
34:49Yeah.
34:50It's sweet.
34:50Yeah, it's sweet.
34:51You know how the red be kind of...
34:52I use that more than I use the green bell pepper.
34:55Yeah.
34:55It's sweeter. The orange one too is sweet.
34:57You could eat that like a fruit.
35:01Now, maybe in my salad, I could.
35:05Well, you know, today, I'm going to go to my bridal salad.
35:07Yeah.
35:08I'm ready to go to the bridal salad.
35:10Yeah.
35:10Yeah.
35:12It should be a lot of fun.
35:13Okay.
35:13Okay, so wait, Tiff. Let's get into this.
35:17It's like, why do you really want to marry?
35:19Like, I understand you saying you want to marry yourself.
35:23But marriage is about two people combining themselves and becoming like one, right?
35:33So, I think you're like already there with yourself.
35:39Like, I do love me and I want to make a commitment to me.
35:42Like, I feel like I make commitments to jobs.
35:45I make commitments to family.
35:48I make commitments to you guys, but I never really make any real commitments to myself.
35:52She has been like with Maurice for so long.
35:56She doesn't really understand like the single life.
35:59She feel like you need to be in a relationship, but first, you got to love it.
36:02No, I don't.
36:03How you be?
36:04Well, I think.
36:04How about what?
36:08I do believe that everyone needs companionship.
36:11I don't believe that everyone has to get married, but to have a companion and a life partner,
36:18you know, I think that's like amazing.
36:21And I want all my friends to have it.
36:22I want that for you.
36:24How can I expect someone to give me something that I haven't really been giving myself?
36:28And it might seem like I'm giving it to myself, but it don't feel that way.
36:33So, I want a ceremony, hold myself to it.
36:36Like, you made this, you made a commitment in front of your friends that you're going to show up for you.
36:41By you making this commitment to yourself, are you sure you're not going to be
36:46cutting off any opportunities from men?
36:50Like a marriage ceremony, marrying yourself,
36:54will that be just blocking off like your husband for coming in?
37:00You have to take marriage seriously.
37:02I've been married for 18 years, boo.
37:05A lot of work has gone into this marriage, okay?
37:08It's not a plain thing.
37:10I don't think I'm blocking a future marriage with a man.
37:13I mean, I checked it out.
37:16I can't get no legal documentation to say I'm married to Tiffany Haddish.
37:19I really think I've been neglecting me.
37:22I think I've been doing a lot for others.
37:24And I feel like it will be showing that I'm willing to make commitments,
37:28that I'm willing to, like, honor myself.
37:34If this is what you need to make yourself feel whole and complete 100%,
37:42like, I got your back.
37:43I'm there for you.
37:44I'm going to be right there, right beside you.
37:48Okay, because I love you.
37:48I love you, too.
37:49And I want the best for you always.
37:51I want the best for you, too.
37:53Next on Tiffany Haddish Goes Off.
37:59Take it to the aunties.
38:01The aunties are turned all the way up, okay?
38:04The Bible teaches us women submit to her things.
38:06What if she makes more money than them?
38:08It doesn't matter.
38:09The couple defines parameters for submission.
38:13A lot of different religions go to split rock,
38:16and they say that when they're at the top of the rock, they hear a voice.
38:19I don't care if I get on the ancestors' nerves.
38:22I need to see family today.
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