Only Fools And Horses S05E01 - From Prussia With Love. - video Dailymotion

DocuDrift

Tv, Only Fools And Horses S05E01 - From Prussia With Love.   #OnlyFoolsAndHorses

Transcript

00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket

00:06I'll fetch the suitcase from the van

00:09Cause if you are the best ones

00:13But you don't ask questions

00:15Then brother, I'm your man

00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery

00:21It's like the changing of the seasons

00:24And the tides of the sea

00:26But is the one which drives me bizarre

00:29Why do only fours and horses work

00:33La la la la

00:34La la la la la

00:37La la la la

00:38La la la la

00:40I'll tell you, it's a tasty little item

00:41I'll stop this now, please

00:45And I'll give you the box

00:46You're not going to play

00:47You've got the redial and you can see

00:50Oh, it topped me up too, come on

00:52Maureen, Maureen, go and tell that girl over there

00:55Will you, we're closing in a minute

00:57And how am I supposed to do that?

00:58I've been trying to talk to her all night

01:00But she's foreign, don't understand the lingo

01:02What's your career, mate?

01:04Well, it's that foreign talk

01:05She can't speak a word of English

01:08She's been sitting there all night

01:09Keeps bursting in her tears

01:10Yeah, well, at your prices

01:12I can't blame her

01:13Here, what's her nationality?

01:15Ain't got a clue

01:16Maybe she's Swedish

01:18Swedish

01:20Swedish

01:20Oh, good him

01:22Do you know the Swedish for chucking out time?

01:25That's one forty-seven

01:26Oh, well, I don't get it

01:29Yeah, well, you speak a bit of French, don't you?

01:31Well, potage bonfemme

01:33Listen, go and have a chat, will you?

01:37See if she speaks a bit of French

01:38I also will, mate, anything for her mates?

01:40How much did you say these drinks were?

01:42One full

01:42On the house, Del

01:45Ah, good boy

01:46Well done, Michael

01:47You are a gentleman

01:47Right, here we go

01:49You can stay here if you like, Rodney

01:51Well, you must be joking

01:53You're going to speak French to someone

01:55Who wouldn't miss this for a million pounds

01:56All right, then

01:58All right, I'll show you

01:59Come on, then

02:00I'll sort it

02:01All right, Maureen

02:02I can take over now

02:03Right

02:04Au revoir

02:08Holy booty, old Francaise

02:12Ah, oui, bien sûr

02:14Pouvez-vous m'aider, s'il vous plaît

02:16Est-ce qu'il y a un hôtel ou pension

02:18Quelqu'un de par ici

02:19Où je peux trouver une chambre

02:20No, she don't speak French, either, my

02:33Excusez-moi, monsieur

02:35Je ne suis pas français

02:36Miss Allemande

02:38Allemagne

02:39Who's it?

02:40Deutschland

02:41Germany, yeah?

02:43She's German

02:43Oh, it's all right

02:45Hand it over, Mike

02:46Bambas crack, ditch, you're German

02:47Yeah, yeah

02:48Where you was

02:48I could speak a bit of German

02:50Can you?

02:50Yeah, I was over there

02:51Just after the war

02:52Yes, come on

02:54Sit down, sit down

02:55Come over here

02:55Well, sit down there

02:56Now, listen to me

02:57I want you to ask her

02:58What her name is, you know

02:59Where she lives

03:00Her address and all that sort of thing

03:01All right

03:01Right, lead us to me

03:03What is your name?

03:06What is your name?

03:13What is your

03:15He's winding me up

03:16Does anyone speak English?

03:19English?

03:19You saucy may

03:20Of course we speak English

03:21We invented a lingo, didn't we, eh?

03:25Yes, we's, but

03:26Well, I speak English

03:28You hate me, maybe

03:29I look for my hotel

03:31Oh, right

03:32Which hotel?

03:34What is the name of your hotel?

03:36I'm not sure of this

03:37Oh, don't meet

03:38There are bloody millions of them

03:39Across the river

03:40Please?

03:42Oh, he say

03:43There are many hotels in London

03:45Oh, yeah, many

03:47You just come in then

03:48Get with here, Paul

03:49Silver bird

03:50Please?

03:53He say

03:53Have you just arrived in England?

03:55Oh, no

03:56I'll be in England now

03:57For one year

03:58I am language student

04:00French and English, yeah?

04:02I work as au pair

04:03And study at the college

04:05The family I work for

04:06Tell me I must go

04:08They are not happy with me

04:09They say I must leave

04:11So I have hotel, yes?

04:14Oh, yeah

04:14Yeah, don't worry

04:15I

04:16I

04:17Will make sure you get to your hotel

04:20I will make sure you get

04:21Safely to your room

04:23I think I can have you this one on my own

04:27Then I'll do it, don't you?

04:27Yeah, I bet you can

04:29Yeah, go on

04:30Blimey

04:31What a

04:31What a turn up, eh?

04:33He thought he was going to pull a Swede

04:35And she gets lumbered with a cabbage

04:36Come on, Albert

04:40Well, let's take a Toby home

04:41We'll leave the keys of the car

04:43With the old saint here

04:45There, off you go

04:46Ta-ta, darling

04:47Best of luck, girl

04:49Keep your hand on your fennig

04:51No, girl

04:54All right, I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Michael

04:56I'm going to leave the phone

04:57So you can think about it

04:58And I'll give you a bell on it in the morning

04:59All right, son?

05:00So, um

05:01Have you any idea where your hotel is?

05:05I do not have hotel

05:07But I thought you said you was looking for an hotel

05:09Yeah, I look for a hotel

05:11Oh, nice

05:14There are no hotels in this area

05:16Oh, this is what I think

05:18So, I am nowhere

05:21Oh, no, don't cry

05:23Oh, something will turn up

05:25Just gives a bit of time to think

05:26I have money

05:27Oh, come on, put that away

05:28I'm going to chop your head off, Randy

05:30If you've got gold teeth

05:31Yes?

05:34Oh, um

05:34This is a dangerous place

05:36You know, at night

05:37Streets, you're a bad place

05:38Yeah, this is why I fear

05:40Come on, time to go home now, please

05:42Oh, um

05:45Look

05:45Well, you could spend the night at our flat, I suppose

05:49You know, if you want

05:50I mean, it ain't very much

05:52But, what, it's comfortable?

05:53Well, no, it ain't really comfortable

05:56Well, no, it ain't really comfortable

05:56You're more than welcome

05:58You know, you could have my bed

06:00But where will you sleep?

06:05I think it's something, eh?

06:07Shall I take your case?

06:09Oh, thank you

06:10Oh, my God

06:12Oh, my God

06:13Oh, my God

06:43Listen, Christos, everybody's got a cordless telephone these days, except you.

06:49What?

06:50Of course they're not faulty.

06:52I say, of course they're not faulty.

06:56Hi.

06:57Oh, hi.

06:58Yeah, what?

06:58Did you get that little bird home?

07:00Uh, yeah, yeah, I've got it all right.

07:02Um, see, thing is, Del, she didn't actually have an hotel to go back to.

07:06All right, Rodney, can't see I'm on the phone?

07:07Yeah.

07:08What would you say?

07:08Go on.

07:09So I said she could spend the night here.

07:11What, eh?

07:11What do you mean you could spend the night here?

07:13Come in, Anna.

07:14Yeah.

07:15Yeah, hello, darling.

07:21Hey, oh, all right, Christos, listen, um, I've got to go.

07:24I'll hang up because, uh, something big has just turned up.

07:30Anna, this is my brother Derek.

07:32Del, this is Anna.

07:33Yeah.

07:33Good evening.

07:34Good evening, yeah.

07:35And that's her uncle, Albert.

07:37How do you do?

07:38Hello, dear.

07:38Nice to meet you all.

07:40May I sit down?

07:42Yeah, certainly.

07:44Sit here, that's it.

07:45Here, put your bag down, that's it.

07:46Good girl.

07:47There, there you go.

07:48Do you fancy a bit about it?

07:50Aye?

07:50No, no, you're all right.

07:51We've already eaten.

07:52I took her down the store of Bengal.

07:54Do you think a ruby was wise in her condition?

07:58Excuse me, excuse us.

07:59Rodney, can I have a private web with you in private, please?

08:02Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

08:04Um, I won't be a minute, Anna.

08:06Albert, please, sir, try to entertain our guests.

08:11Shut the door.

08:15Del, I couldn't help it.

08:16Honest, I mean, how was I supposed to know she was pregnant?

08:19How was I supposed to know she was pregnant?

08:20It doesn't take a Dr Bleed and Spock to work that one out, Rodney.

08:24You will.

08:24Look, I'll take her out tomorrow and I'll get her a room, aye.

08:27Rodney, what happens if that sprog of hers decides to clock in tonight?

08:31Here, here.

08:32I do want to worry you two boys,

08:35but unless I'm very much mistaken,

08:37that young girl out there's up a duff.

08:43Don't you go out and hit an iceberg, Albert.

08:46I just do not want to know what's happening to me lately.

08:48I just do not know what's happening.

08:50I've got more relatives crawling out of woodwork than Blake Carrington.

08:54Well, now I'm taking in the waifs and strays of Europe.

08:57Oh, yeah, well, that's why we've got to help, innit?

08:59Because we're in a European community now.

09:01We've got to stick together.

09:03Pity her knees didn't.

09:07I don't know, Morn.

09:09We have got room in the flat, haven't we?

09:10I mean, it's only one more person.

09:12Yeah, but it's one more person who's about to become two more persons.

09:16On the other hand, it could be twins or triplets or quadrants.

09:20Yeah, well, he's right and all, Rodney.

09:21I mean, she could be sitting out there with a belly full of people.

09:27I mean, one hot bath and we could get chucked out for overcrowding.

09:31No, I'm sorry, Rodney.

09:32I'm sorry.

09:33No, he just...

09:33I cannot take the risk.

09:35Sorry, no.

09:37All right.

09:38All right, we'll chuck her out in the street, shall we?

09:41But you go and give her the good news, Dale.

09:42Munch and Gladbach.

09:54Um, see, see, the thing is, Anna, we've hit a bit of a snag.

10:00See, see, I mean, at this Pacific moment in time,

10:04we are a bit knackered for space.

10:07See?

10:08Please?

10:09We say there is no room at the inn.

10:11Don't start all that Sunday school rubbish with me.

10:17Bunt plonker, yeah?

10:19Please?

10:20He's calling me a...

10:22Bunt madder.

10:24Who did the dirty deed, then?

10:26Please?

10:27He says, who's the father?

10:29Oh, that's a bit personal.

10:30Yes, a bit personal.

10:31Father, yes, I understand.

10:33Family I work with, Mr and Mrs Wainwright,

10:36have sons, Spencer, who is a student.

10:38One day, Spencer returned from university with degree, yeah?

10:43I not drink, but this day I have the champagne.

10:47Then I am spinning, yeah?

10:49Then Spencer comes to my room.

10:52He wants to...

10:53To...

10:54Uh, what word?

10:56Oh, you mean he wants to...

10:57He wants to be my friend, yeah?

11:01While you were still spinning?

11:03Yeah, I am still spinning.

11:04Then I find Baby is here.

11:08I phone Spencer, and he say I must not tell his parents he is father.

11:13But this morning I am very worried, and I tell them.

11:16They say I lie.

11:18They say I am a bad person.

11:19Mr Wainwright say, my disruptive influence on Spencer makes it inexpedient for me to remain.

11:30Please.

11:33You say, on your bike.

11:35Oh, I did not.

11:37Mr Wainwright, he is a...

11:40What word?

11:42Git.

11:45Businessman.

11:45Oh, wow.

11:46A rich man.

11:47He gives me money for journey home.

11:49So why didn't you go?

11:50Oh, I cannot go yet.

11:52My family will see Baby.

11:54This is not good.

11:55So I wait.

11:57And when Baby is born, I give Baby to people.

12:01Well, um...

12:03Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, you think so, sweetheart.

12:06Yeah, yeah.

12:08It's a terrible world this is, isn't it, Ronnie?

12:10Yeah, right?

12:11Terrible.

12:12Um, Lou, I'd best think you...

12:14Why don't you chuck Anna's thing in...

12:15Things in your room, you know, for tonight?

12:17Yeah.

12:18Cheers, mate.

12:18Mm.

12:20Uh...

12:20Oh, Anna.

12:21Anna, um...

12:22Listen, you, you go with Rodney.

12:25See?

12:26Through there.

12:27And he will show you where you, you know, kick tonight, yeah?

12:31That's all right.

12:31Oh, yeah, I'll kill.

12:32Yeah, I'll come here to help you.

12:33Yeah, I'll take these.

12:34No, go on.

12:35You go.

12:35Go around.

12:36Straight through here.

12:36It's through there.

12:37That's it.

12:37Just open that door.

12:38Open the door.

12:39That's it, Rodney.

12:39Take that.

12:40Yes, sir.

12:40That's it.

12:41Go on, isn't it?

12:41Take that as well.

12:42Go on.

12:43Go on.

12:43Yeah, mind that.

12:45All right, all right.

12:47Good night, now.

12:48Good night.

12:51Funny old world, isn't it?

12:52I mean, you take the thousands of couples round the world all trying to have kids and

12:57can't.

12:58Here.

12:59I remember my mate Nippa Townsend.

13:01Years and years, Jim and his wife dreamed of having a kid.

13:04They never did, though.

13:05No, well, you've got to take so many things into account, haven't you, eh?

13:08You know, there's the temperature, the cycle, tight pants, all that.

13:12True.

13:15Cork's Nippa being stationed in Morta didn't help.

13:22Here.

13:22You seem to know a lot about all this medical malarkey.

13:26Yeah, well, I get it off Boise and Marlene, don't I?

13:29You remember Boise, the second-hand car trailer?

13:31Yeah.

13:31Yeah, well, him and Marlene have been trying to have a little sprog for years, but no, Joy.

13:36I mean, they've had more tests, you know, than the atom bomb.

13:42Still no good.

13:43I mean, they tried to foster a dot, but no.

13:46I mean, funny, though, isn't it, eh?

13:48Funny.

13:49I mean, they're stinking rich, and yet with all that money, they cannot buy the one thing

13:54they would most dearly love.

13:56Little baby.

13:58Yeah, that's the way the cookie bounces, eh?

14:02Yeah, nice to bits.

14:10What's wrong?

14:12No, nothing, no, no, I just worked out that everything could work out very, very cushy.

14:17Come on, Joy, get a stick.

14:22Come on, Jokey.

14:23Come on, Jokey.

14:28Say that again, Dillboy.

14:46I said I could help you have a baby.

14:51What do you mean?

14:52You're willing to be one of them suffragette fathers?

14:57No, no, no, no.

14:58What I mean is I know where there's a baby going.

15:00What?

15:01Knocked off?

15:05Oh, no, no.

15:06It's all pucker.

15:08See, I know this German girl, right?

15:10Well, she's...

15:11She hadn't been in our green and pleasant land for no more than three months when she was

15:15suddenly taken pregnant.

15:17Oh, that's lovely, isn't it, Marlene?

15:18In a little while from now, we could be awoken by the pitter-patter of tiny jackboots.

15:23Leave it out, boy.

15:26See, look, he could be brought up as yours, wasn't he?

15:27And anyway, the father is English.

15:29You see, the full story is, Rodney met this girl in a pub a little while ago.

15:33Hang about.

15:34You mean that dipstick Rodney's the father?

15:38No, no, no, no.

15:38Of course he ain't, boy.

15:39See, leave it.

15:40What, Rodney?

15:41Oh, blimey.

15:42He don't know what it's all about yet.

15:45Haven't you seen the funny way he still stirs his tea?

15:48No.

15:50Rodney, take your leg out that dog's mouth!

15:56I can't despair of that, boy.

15:57I really do.

15:58Anyway, the father's kid is some sort of student geezer who's washed his hands of the old affair

16:04and, like, you know, he don't want to know.

16:05Well, him and me have got a lot in common because I don't want to know either.

16:08Oh, hang on a minute, boys.

16:10Let's not be hasty.

16:11I mean, you're the one who's always going on about having a son and heir.

16:15And it is a boy.

16:18I didn't think it had been born yet.

16:21She's had a scan.

16:23Let me show you something.

16:24Look, I borrowed her passport so I could show you.

16:28Look, there's a picture of her there.

16:29Look, her name's Anna.

16:31She's a beautiful girl, isn't she?

16:32Because she's bound to have a handsome kid.

16:35And the student fellow's father, right, is a very, very successful businessman.

16:40So the kid's going to have everything, you know.

16:42Good looks, brains, business acumen.

16:44Just the sort of son and heir that you need for your second-hand car empire, Boise.

16:50We can at least talk about it, Boise.

16:54Yeah, all right then, all right, love.

16:56Just give us a couple of minutes, will you, Dale?

16:58I think I've tired him out.

17:13He's a rascal.

17:18No, what are they doing?

17:19It's all right, it's all right, nothing.

17:20They're just having a bit of a chat.

17:22Go and get yourself a light ale and top me up while you're over there, all right?

17:24It is definitely a boy.

17:27Yeah, definitely a boy.

17:29What's all that about?

17:30No, no, nothing.

17:31Boise's thinking of getting a boat and I'm going to get some equipment, see?

17:34Oh, that sort of boy.

17:36This German bird, is she healthy?

17:39Healthy?

17:39It's Boris Becker's cousin.

17:40What the bloody hell's going on here, Dale?

17:45It's all right, Rodney, it's all right.

17:46I'm always going to tell you, see, the thing is, Boise and Marlene might have Anna's baby.

17:50What?

17:51What is this, a raffle?

17:53Dale, this is a tiny human being we're talking about.

17:56This is flesh and blood.

17:57It's Anna's child.

17:58I know that, Rodney, but Anna wants it adopted and Boise and Marlene want to adopt.

18:03Yeah, well, if that's what they want, they go down to an adoption society.

18:06Well, we've tried lots of times, Rodney.

18:08They always turn us down.

18:10It's because of his record.

18:11Yeah, Boise did a little bit of a stretch when he was younger, you know.

18:15Yeah, what for?

18:17Perjury.

18:20Embezzlement.

18:23Conspiring to pervert the course of justice.

18:26Fraudulent conversion of traveller's checks and attempting to bribe the mayor of Lambeth.

18:31See, I mean, it's any little thing with these adoption people.

18:38Leave it out, Boise.

18:40With your record, I'm surprised we're allowed to keep a dog.

18:43Yeah, but it's all in the past.

18:47I mean, how many times have I got to repay my debt to society?

18:50Yeah, that's true.

18:51I mean, don't a person deserve a second chance?

18:54Well, yeah.

18:55Yeah, that's fair enough.

18:56And that's exactly what we're going to give this little baby.

18:58Second chance, a chance to live in this beautiful house.

19:02A chance to have a loving father and a doting mother.

19:06And there don't come more doting than that.

19:11I mean, even Dookie's got a bib.

19:14But it's illegal.

19:16What?

19:17Giving a little baby love and warmth and a chance in life is against the law?

19:21Well, I don't know.

19:28With the welfare people, I mean, are they going to wonder where Anne's baby is?

19:32Well, it's obvious, isn't it?

19:33It's with its mother.

19:34In Germany.

19:36I think we've cracked it at last, Boise.

19:39Well, you can tell everybody it's our own child.

19:42I mean, we're always reading in the papers about women giving birth who didn't even know they were pregnant.

19:47Might raise a few eyebrows, though.

19:49Well, yeah, but they're only neighbours.

19:53I was thinking more of that gynaecologist who examined you on Monday.

19:59I'll never have to see him again, will I?

20:02Just give us a minute, Dale.

20:04Come on, Lossie.

20:11You're going to learn out of this, isn't you?

20:14How dare you?

20:15That's a terrible thing to say.

20:17What sort of bloke do you think I am?

20:19I'm doing this for Anna and for them two.

20:21Most important of all, I'm doing it for that little unborn baby.

20:26Oh, look, I'm sorry.

20:27No, no, go on, don't touch me.

20:29No, go on, go on, get out of it.

20:29I'm sorry.

20:33You are going to earn out of it, isn't you?

20:35Look, that is a cruel and callous jibe.

20:38How much is this going to cost?

20:40Only her airline ticket home.

20:48And, of course, money for the birth certificate and a few quid to cover our petrol and telephone calls.

20:57Three grand should cover it, don't you think?

20:58See you up, Dale boy.

21:05Shh.

21:05Can't you see I'm busy?

21:08Got you, you Martian git.

21:10Let's see, reset.

21:18What's up with you?

21:20You know perfectly well what's up with me.

21:23Selling a baby.

21:24God, it's like something out of Dickens times.

21:27Rodney, listen, how many times has Boise tucked me up, eh?

21:30That three grand isn't for the baby.

21:32It's just, you know, payment for old debts.

21:35It's most probably for the best son.

21:37I mean, Anna gets her baby adopted by loving family.

21:40That's right.

21:40Marlene gets the sprog.

21:41She's always wanted.

21:42And you get three grand.

21:44Exactly.

21:44Everyone's a winner.

21:45Yeah.

21:46Everyone, everyone except Anna.

21:48Au contraire, Rodney.

21:49Au contraire.

21:50Because as soon as old Boise waves in with the poppy,

21:53I'm going to go straight down a few rocks to change

21:55and I'm going to get a few hundred translated for her.

21:58So that means that Anna's going to go straight back to the fatherland

22:00with 300 drachma in her bin.

22:09She's in pain.

22:10How do you know?

22:11You can't speak German.

22:15This is it.

22:16This, this is, this is it.

22:17No, no, it's not.

22:18Yes, it is.

22:19No, it's just in your chest.

22:20It is not.

22:20It's not in your chest.

22:21It's just in your chest.

22:21And listen to me.

22:22Listen to me.

22:22Go in the kitchen and get a glass of water.

22:24Go on.

22:24Right.

22:24Yes.

22:25That's it.

22:25You ain't giving her Andrews, are you?

22:27Don't be a conker now.

22:29Look, I want you to phone the hospital.

22:31Go on, get on the blower.

22:32And oh, don't forget, call the maternity unit.

22:34All right.

22:35Yeah.

22:36I love the lift.

22:37I love the lift.

22:38Yes.

22:38Deep breaths.

22:39Deep breaths.

22:40Deep breaths.

22:41Deep breaths.

22:42Look at how these phones work.

22:46All right, listen.

22:47When do you start getting the pains, darling?

22:48They come this morning.

22:50This morning?

22:50Oh, it's all right.

22:51Don't worry.

22:51You'll be all right now because the ambulance is going to come any minute.

22:54So you'll be all right.

22:55Don't worry.

22:56You just relax.

22:57Everything's going to be cushy.

22:59How are you getting on?

23:00It's all right, darling.

23:01It's all right.

23:02It's all right.

23:03It's all right.

23:04Vorsprung derk technik.

23:08Oh!

23:10Oh!

23:14Oh!

23:17Sit down, Marlene.

23:18You're doing up the Wilton.

23:21Sit down, Marlene.

23:23The baby's all right, isn't he, Del?

23:25Yes.

23:25Yes, Marlene.

23:26For the umpteenth time, you're going to have a beautiful bouncing baby.

23:31What's your way?

23:32I don't know.

23:33He hasn't stopped bouncing yet.

23:35He hasn't stopped bouncing.

23:37I don't know, about seven pounds on you.

23:40We've decided to call him Mark.

23:44Oh, that's Andy because his father's name was Spencer.

23:50That's it.

23:51They're back.

23:51He's here.

23:52They're here.

23:52All right.

23:53Stay all right.

23:53Don't panic.

23:54Stay there.

23:55It's all right.

23:55Calm down.

23:56Calm down.

23:56It's all right.

23:59Everything all right, Rodgers?

24:00No, everything is not bloody all.

24:01Boycey and Marlene are here.

24:03Are they here already?

24:05Yeah, yeah.

24:05You told them about their little boy?

24:06Well, what about him?

24:08What about him being a little girl?

24:09No.

24:09I haven't broken the news yet.

24:11I mean, how could Anna do that to me?

24:13I mean, after all I've done for it.

24:15So what's wrong, then?

24:16Oh, well, for one, Anna has fallen in love with her baby, but the most important...

24:19She's done what?

24:21Now, she can't do that to me.

24:22Now, she can't do that.

24:23Look, a deal is a deal.

24:24I know that deal, but I'm asking for it.

24:26You've got to...

24:26Get in.

24:27Go on.

24:27All right, Albert.

24:28All right.

24:28I'll sort it out.

24:29Hey, here she is.

24:30Oh, hello, sweetheart.

24:32How you feeling?

24:33Oh, I'm fine, thank you.

24:34Oh, good.

24:34Here, let me take...

24:35I think maybe things are not cushy.

24:38I think maybe now I keep baby.

24:42No, no, no.

24:42You can't do that, darling.

24:43No, no, no.

24:44Because, you know, we'll have the VAT people around here.

24:48Just come in, come in.

24:49I'll explain everything.

24:50Go on, you go in there.

24:50That's it, darling.

24:51Go on.

24:51In you go.

24:52Put the baby...

24:53Put the baby down here.

24:54Oh, first of all, these are the very nice people who are going to look after your baby.

25:03There they are.

25:04Oh!

25:09Someone upset her?

25:11No, no, no.

25:13She's just got, you know, like baby blues, that sort.

25:15Oh, I see.

25:15Just a minute, boys.

25:16Just a minute.

25:17I'm going to have to come clean, you see.

25:19The thing is, it's about your little baby boy.

25:22He ain't.

25:24Ain't what?

25:25Well, he ain't a little baby boy.

25:27What is it, then?

25:28It's a little baby girl, ain't it, eh?

25:35A girl?

25:36Yeah.

25:36But you said she'd had a stay.

25:37I know.

25:38I know.

25:38I told you.

25:38All right, boss.

25:39I know I told you it was going to be a girl.

25:40It ain't.

25:40I mean, just keep your money.

25:42The deal's off.

25:42All right?

25:42I don't care if it's a boy, a girl, twins.

25:45It's a baby.

25:47What?

25:49All right, Marlene.

25:51Well, take it.

25:54It's amazing, ain't it?

25:56Everything you buy off him's got something missing.

25:58All right, don't look at me like that.

26:06What else could I do?

26:07No good arse to me, son.

26:09I'd never flogged a baby before.

26:13I was...

26:13I was doing it for Anna, wasn't I?

26:17You know, I wasn't trying to help.

26:20What do you want?

26:21Applause?

26:23All right, bossy.

26:24Sorry, no.

26:24Sorry, mate.

26:25Listen, the deal's off.

26:26It's off, all right?

26:27Is that right, doll?

26:29The deal's off, is it?

26:30Two bleeding right is off.

26:32What are you talking about?

26:39What?

26:40No!

26:44That's the other thing I meant to tell you out there.

26:47You see, Spencer's mummy and daddy come over here in 1956

26:51in the West Indies.

26:54Well, it don't bother me, boy, see?

27:00Leave off, Marlene.

27:02The baby's brown.

27:07So is Duke.

27:13But I ain't claiming to be Duke's father.

27:16Oh, he's a likeness, though.

27:22Shut it.

27:24We could say it's a throwback.

27:26For God's sake.

27:27Marlene.

27:29I might be able to con people into buying my cars.

27:31I might be able to convince them that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat.

27:35But now the other one I'm going to persuade

27:36that my granddad was Louis Armstrong.

27:38You ain't out of the last of this, Del boy.

27:51I suppose he's right, eh, Del?

27:55Yeah.

27:58Yeah.

28:00You know it makes sense, eh?

28:04Still,

28:04It was a nice little dream while it lasted, eh?

28:08Yeah.

28:11Well,

28:11I'm going to turn round now

28:13and I'm going to walk out that door

28:15and I ain't going to look back.

28:22No, of course not.

28:22Oh, God.

28:44Women.

28:45Shh.

28:46Hannah.

28:47Hannah, come on.

28:47Come out here.

28:48Your baby's hungry.

28:50Shh.

28:50Quiet, quiet, quiet.

28:52Yeah, your mummy's coming.

28:53She is.

28:54Yeah.

28:55And you've got lovely, bright eyes, eh?

28:57Eh?

28:58Look at that.

28:59She's going to be a blinder when she gets older.

29:01Is she, eh?

29:02And she?

29:03Coochie, coochie, coo.

29:05Coochie, coochie, coo.

29:07Coochie, coo.

29:07Yeah.

29:08No income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantee.

29:35Coochie, coo.

29:36Black or white, rich or broke.

29:39We'll cut prices and a straw.

29:44God bless hooky street.

29:47Viva hooky street.

29:50Long live hooky street.

29:52Say, man defique hooky street.

29:56Man defique hooky street.

30:01Hooky street.

30:04Hooky street.

30:07Hooky street.

30:08Hooky street.

30:09Hooky street.

30:10Hooky street.

30:11Hooky street.

30:12Hooky street.

30:13Hooky street.

30:14Hooky street.

30:15Hooky street.

30:16Hooky street.

30:17Hooky street.

30:18Hooky street.

30:19Hooky street.

30:20Hooky street.

30:21Hooky street.

30:22Hooky street.

30:23Hooky street.

30:24Hooky street.

30:25Hooky street.

30:26Hooky street.

30:27Hooky street.

30:28Hooky street.

30:29Hooky street.

30:30Hooky street.

30:31Hooky street.

30:32Hooky street.

30:33Hooky street.

30:34Hooky street.

30:35Hooky street.

Only Fools And Horses S05E01 - From Prussia With Love.

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended