- 2 days ago
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May travel across the world to meet different automobile manufacturers and drive cars made by them.
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:01:00That is a sturdy car, that is.
00:01:04Isn't that a very popular car with the gay community?
00:01:07Is it?
00:01:08It's Hammond.
00:01:09That is Hammond.
00:01:10Is that your car?
00:01:12Yes, this is my car!
00:01:14Why is your car up there?
00:01:15Oh, because that's where the boat dropped me off.
00:01:17They got to here, wrapped it in polythene,
00:01:19lobbed over to side me with it.
00:01:20That's how they do it.
00:01:21What does it say on that?
00:01:22Global Auto.
00:01:23Yeah, gag.
00:01:24That's what they said was a company.
00:01:27I bought it from an English family
00:01:29who had bought a house in Tuscany.
00:01:32Sony Blair, Sherry Blair, Sting.
00:01:34Every single lightweight socialist
00:01:37in Britain has been in this car.
00:01:40We're now leaving Cartagena
00:01:42in our quest to find
00:01:44many interesting animals to photograph.
00:01:48Shrimping and forest products
00:01:50obviously pays well.
00:01:51Look at the boats out there.
00:01:53I know, that is amazing, isn't it?
00:01:54You often see that,
00:01:55the most humble of commodities,
00:01:57and it yields just incredible well.
00:02:03Oh!
00:02:05It's coming off!
00:02:06It is one of the most stupid pieces
00:02:08of engineering ever, that truck.
00:02:12Right, Jaguars,
00:02:13they are very difficult to spot
00:02:14and very, very rare.
00:02:17This is proper jungle now.
00:02:21Oh, dear.
00:02:22I think I've just lost the exhaust part.
00:02:24What are we going to do?
00:02:28People could come out here for 40 years
00:02:30and not see a Jaguar.
00:02:32Well, we could use my trap cameras.
00:02:35He parked his car there.
00:02:37Yes.
00:02:38Turn it round.
00:02:39Oh, that'll be amazing.
00:02:40So he comes out in the morning.
00:02:41Can you imagine his face?
00:02:42He'll think he's gone mad.
00:02:43One, two, three,
00:02:45we move it.
00:02:46One, two.
00:02:48Did we get any pictures?
00:02:50All right.
00:02:51Ah, look, there.
00:02:52That's it!
00:02:53That's his head, that's his head.
00:02:54That's the ace of spades, the Jaguar.
00:02:56That's Saddam Hussein.
00:02:58We've now got to go and get his sons, Uday.
00:03:02And the other one.
00:03:03What's his other son called?
00:03:05Edgar.
00:03:05With the Jaguar in the bag, our sights were set on the next target, another rare and reclusive
00:03:15creature, the spectacled bear.
00:03:18We now have to drive 200 miles to find this sort of terrain where we're going to be able to photograph the King of Spades, Edgar Hussein, Paddington.
00:03:32To help pass the time, entertainment was provided by James, trying to overtake trucks in his one-litre Panda.
00:03:43Right.
00:03:45No.
00:03:45He can't see past them because his steering wheel's on the correct side.
00:03:50Whoa, bloody hell, fire.
00:03:53He has to lunge out of the bus and then there's this ridiculously roty noise as he saps off.
00:04:00Holy crap.
00:04:03Come on, car.
00:04:08Oh, my God.
00:04:12I enjoyed watching that one.
00:04:15Right, blokes, I can't keep this lorry overtaking up all day.
00:04:18My ring piece is going to be in tatters.
00:04:20What is wrong with this bloke?
00:04:25I don't know what he's been taking, but he's all over the shop.
00:04:29He's had a lot of shrimp.
00:04:30The man's an idiot.
00:04:35As the day wore on, the Trump truck proved to be its usual reliable self.
00:04:42Oh, dear.
00:04:44Oh, dear.
00:04:45That's not good.
00:04:47That is bad.
00:04:50Oh, no.
00:04:53Oh, God.
00:04:56Just had a message asking if I'd like to go back and help Mr. Hammond mend his monster truck.
00:05:05Let me think about that.
00:05:08No, I wouldn't.
00:05:11Here you come.
00:05:13Air conditioning radiator.
00:05:15Useless.
00:05:17Still, could be worse.
00:05:19Could be him over there.
00:05:21Yeah.
00:05:22My guess is his brakes have failed, and he's hooked a wheel over there to stop it rolling back.
00:05:28Uh, is this you?
00:05:34You?
00:05:35No, it's you.
00:05:36Oh.
00:05:36Oh.
00:05:36Oh, okay.
00:05:37Oh, okay.
00:05:38Uh, yeah.
00:05:39Yeah, that, what he said.
00:05:46Huh?
00:05:47Okay.
00:05:49Gracias.
00:05:49Eventually, the world's greatest linguist got his truck going, and caught us up.
00:06:02And the next morning, we all woke in the pretty hill town of Villa de Leyva.
00:06:12Why have you done this to all my trousers?
00:06:31You said you were hot.
00:06:34Well, I'm now.
00:06:34It's a Sunday morning in a Spanish-speaking country.
00:06:50It's 8.15 a.m.
00:06:51Chances of a trouser shop being open, nil.
00:06:58Morning.
00:06:59Well, just, very good.
00:07:01Sorry, that's not noise.
00:07:02James and Richard cut my trousers up.
00:07:06Why do I have to be recognised here, for God's sake?
00:07:08One side sorted the trouser crisis, we continued onwards.
00:07:33And eventually, we arrived in Spectacle Bear country.
00:07:38Right, now, listen.
00:07:41Um.
00:07:42What do you do?
00:07:43Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:07:44What?
00:07:44I don't like trousers.
00:07:46Well, no, at least he's trying.
00:07:47He's making an effort.
00:07:48You should have gone the whole hog.
00:07:49Maybe some nice, hey, we're out in the outdoors, some nice chaps.
00:07:53Suede, but ventilated at the back.
00:07:55And that shirt, you've picked up that colour.
00:07:57Have you been getting advice?
00:07:59May we turn our attention to the bears now?
00:08:01To Paddington.
00:08:01His skin's flaky.
00:08:03You should moisturise.
00:08:04It's, what?
00:08:05You should moisturise.
00:08:06A little bit.
00:08:07It's more than I moisturise.
00:08:08Because his skin's flaky.
00:08:08Because you're dry.
00:08:10You look like something found in a pyramid.
00:08:12Anyway, listen, we must turn our attention.
00:08:16We must turn our attention.
00:08:17Let's have a look at the sarcophagus.
00:08:20I'm not putting that in the British Museum.
00:08:22Rather than put up with any more of this persecution, I insisted we saddle up and set off to look for Paddington.
00:08:32I don't actually know, I've seen a picture of these bears, but I don't actually know how big they are.
00:08:38Are they two feet or ten feet?
00:08:40I just don't know.
00:08:41Keep it diagonal, obviously, while crossing these things.
00:08:46Oh, shite!
00:08:49Oh-ho!
00:08:50Oh-ho!
00:08:52Look at you with the wheel in the air!
00:08:54Can we please try not to make this look like it's a problem?
00:08:56Because the ladies and gentlemen think we're hopeless.
00:09:00I tried to drive myself out, which went well.
00:09:05Speed and power.
00:09:06He's just stuck himself a hole!
00:09:08So I asked Hammond for help, but, predictably, his pick-up truck chose that moment to go into one-wheel drive.
00:09:19Oh!
00:09:21Oh, dear!
00:09:23There was only one solution.
00:09:26Could you give me a tow?
00:09:27Because I'm...
00:09:28No, I'm very close to coming out.
00:09:30Well, we know that.
00:09:31You've brought a Jeep.
00:09:32Oh, I see.
00:09:32Every single time I have my mouth now, you've got some reference.
00:09:41No, it's great.
00:09:43It's good.
00:09:44All friends.
00:09:45With the rope hitched up, we were ready to go.
00:09:49So, I'll give you a small tug.
00:09:51Was that a gentle tug?
00:09:53There we go.
00:09:54And then it's down to you, because I haven't got the weight to pull you, okay?
00:09:57Here we go.
00:09:58Three, two, one.
00:10:02Whoa!
00:10:04Exciting!
00:10:06Yes.
00:10:07Go on.
00:10:09A fear panda.
00:10:10Yes!
00:10:10Whoa!
00:10:10Yes!
00:10:11Yes!
00:10:11Jeremy Corbyn just pulled Freddie Mercury out.
00:10:15It's a meeting of minds.
00:10:20I'm not sure we're very good at this, Poppy.
00:10:22With that calamity sorted, Hammond got four-wheel drive back, and we resumed our mission.
00:10:34Right.
00:10:36I've gone a bear hunt.
00:10:39Soon, however...
00:10:43Oh, dear.
00:10:46What's up, Hammond?
00:10:53I think something's broken somewhere in the driveway.
00:10:58Am I now having to pull Hammond, though?
00:10:59God.
00:11:00Right, and pull Hammond out.
00:11:04Once my pickup had been pulled out...
00:11:06I quickly found the fault.
00:11:11Broken the half shaft.
00:11:13Oh!
00:11:15I think this is now two-wheel drive.
00:11:20Still, while there had been a few mishaps, our cars were able to take us comfortably to a suitable bear-spotting point.
00:11:35I've got a cool box in the back of the Jeep full of zesty, refreshing drinks.
00:11:40Temperature's perfect.
00:11:42I'm not out of breath.
00:11:43I didn't have to walk here.
00:11:46However, because the trap cameras had been ruined by the Jaguar, this time we would need to deploy our immense patience.
00:12:02Soon, however...
00:12:03I'm bored!
00:12:06I'm bored.
00:12:07Bored.
00:12:08Bored!
00:12:09Bored!
00:12:10Bored!
00:12:11Bored!
00:12:12So, to make life more interesting, we kept on driving.
00:12:22Right, we go higher up the mountain.
00:12:25This is the absolute worst terrain for the Jeep's suspension.
00:12:39God, I'd like to meet the man who put these big tyres on this thing, and I'd like to strangle it.
00:12:47Still, it could be worse.
00:12:50Oh!
00:12:50Oh, dear.
00:12:50Oh, dear.
00:12:51Looks like Jeremy Corbyn's struggling a bit now.
00:13:02Somehow he's managed to get it back on its wheels.
00:13:05And still it goes.
00:13:17But then...
00:13:18Oh, God.
00:13:20Oh, hold on.
00:13:22Big hole there, chaps.
00:13:29Yeah, you see that?
00:13:30Whoa!
00:13:30That's not...
00:13:32That's not...
00:13:33What are you on about?
00:13:33That's quite a big hole.
00:13:34That's quite a big hole.
00:13:35It's massive!
00:13:35It just isn't, though, is it?
00:13:37But other than that it is.
00:13:39Look at the size of it.
00:13:40Although...
00:13:41No.
00:13:41No.
00:13:41Right, no.
00:13:42Stop and listen to the expert.
00:13:45Cut it this away.
00:13:47Gravity gets you down there, and then you simply drive up the other side.
00:13:51Oh, Professor, how do you work these things out?
00:13:54You drive out.
00:13:55Look at your tyres.
00:13:56Yeah, I mean, that's a monster truck.
00:13:57Only two of which are driven.
00:13:59It's a monster truck!
00:14:00It runs over cars.
00:14:01I've seen them do it on the telly.
00:14:03And they're two-wheel drive.
00:14:04They are, actually, yes.
00:14:05They are two-wheel drive, and monster trucks could easily do that.
00:14:09With Hammond refusing Point Black to help, James and I did manual labour
00:14:15and cut away the edge of the bank.
00:14:18Keep going, chaps. You'll fill the hole in eventually.
00:14:20What about that, then, Hammond? That's softened it up a bit.
00:14:22Do you fancy that?
00:14:23It's easy now. I'll do it in a Lamborghini.
00:14:26That's got rid of that big, stony bit.
00:14:28That's roughly where your wheel's gonna go.
00:14:31Yeah, just before the massive drop.
00:14:33Ever since your last accident, you've lost your bottle.
00:14:36No, it doesn't require a bottle to do that.
00:14:38It can't be done. It's not the same.
00:14:41Are you gonna do it?
00:14:43I'm not.
00:14:43You are?
00:14:44I'm not.
00:14:46Right, here we go.
00:14:50Gravity will get you in a minute.
00:14:51This ain't no gravity works. I'm familiar with it.
00:14:55Just do it, and then drive up the other side. Hurry up, quicker.
00:15:01Oh, God.
00:15:03There you go.
00:15:04Exactly as I said.
00:15:05Now, drive up the other side.
00:15:08Hold on.
00:15:09You found it.
00:15:11Five inches.
00:15:12Two inches.
00:15:13Fine, keep that even better.
00:15:14Hear it, half inches.
00:15:15Mrsandlauch.
00:15:20Hell in it.
00:15:22He's two inches.
00:15:26Don't work.
00:15:27He's one inch.
00:15:28He's one inch.
00:15:31ba
00:15:323
00:15:32Like this is The Train.
00:15:33You learned nieduông.
00:15:35Come.
00:15:35He's got a train.
00:15:36I'm so little bit.
00:15:37He is.
00:15:38I told you this wouldn't work.
00:15:54I've had an idea.
00:15:56What?
00:15:56You know that sort of roll bar thing he's got there?
00:15:59Yeah.
00:15:59If we get the sand ladders from the support truck and lay them on that,
00:16:02we could drive across him.
00:16:06Could we?
00:16:07Isn't Bart Kingdom May?
00:16:10Hammond, we've had a brilliant idea.
00:16:14I don't know what they're going to do.
00:16:16I just know it's not going to work.
00:16:23Oh, it's...
00:16:25Wait a minute.
00:16:28Oh, mind my roof!
00:16:33No, it won't reach.
00:16:37Oh, don't...
00:16:38Oh, come on!
00:16:40Oh!
00:16:49Eventually, our magnificent bridge was complete.
00:16:53And James volunteered to cross it first.
00:17:02Come on, Hammond, you must be pleased.
00:17:05No, I'm not pleased!
00:17:07First heroic thing it's done.
00:17:09First time it's not holding us up.
00:17:11Is that looking good?
00:17:13Looking good.
00:17:14Oh, it's looking ridiculous.
00:17:15It works!
00:17:28Yes!
00:17:29How about that?
00:17:30Yes!
00:17:32Beast of cake!
00:17:32Oh, no fist bumping.
00:17:33Oh, no.
00:17:34You don't do that, do you?
00:17:34Now, though, it was my turn in a car that was more than twice the weight of the Panda.
00:17:45Hold on, I can't even see the sand...
00:17:47I can't see the rail on this side.
00:17:51Tiny, tiny bit to your left.
00:17:53That's it.
00:17:54Right, straight.
00:17:56Tiny, tiny bit to your left, but really tiny.
00:17:58That's good.
00:18:05Right on the edge.
00:18:08Now, very slowly.
00:18:09Tiny bit of left.
00:18:11That's right, you blithering idiot.
00:18:13Right.
00:18:14No, that is all...
00:18:15Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
00:18:17Stop there. Stop there.
00:18:19It's going to break.
00:18:21It's not going to work.
00:18:22What?
00:18:23It's not going to work.
00:18:24Yes, but the thing is, you've stopped me,
00:18:26and there's no other way of describing it on top of Hammond's car.
00:18:30Yeah, I know.
00:18:31Don't jig about too much.
00:18:32Don't worry about my truck sitting there.
00:18:34And we're not worried about your truck.
00:18:37Since Hammond wouldn't lift a finger,
00:18:40even though he'd got us into this mess,
00:18:42I had to get the camera crew to help beef up the sandrails.
00:18:47We're supposed to be making wildlife photography look easy and comfortable.
00:18:51This isn't working.
00:18:52With the strengthening in place, it was time to continue.
00:19:02Keep it on that.
00:19:04Exactly that line.
00:19:11Yes!
00:19:13Yeah!
00:19:14Right, let's move on.
00:19:16Right.
00:19:16Well, there, across.
00:19:32Oh, God.
00:19:33Why have you stopped?
00:19:35You're not going to believe this.
00:19:37What?
00:19:38There's a river.
00:19:42Can you get through it?
00:19:43Not in a million years.
00:19:45What are you doing?
00:19:59It's just round that corner.
00:20:00There's a river.
00:20:01Yeah.
00:20:01Locked.
00:20:02But you've been gone.
00:20:04So what was the point in that?
00:20:05Well, at least it meant your car was useful twice.
00:20:07It was.
00:20:08Well, you've ended up where you've achieved nothing,
00:20:10apart from ruining my truck and turning it into a bridge.
00:20:12Yeah, but we needed to do that to get back again.
00:20:14Exactly.
00:20:15If you hadn't gone...
00:20:16If you hadn't gone there, you wouldn't need a bridge to get back, would you?
00:20:20Yeah, but we didn't know there was a river there until we'd gone there.
00:20:23And there are no...
00:20:23As this debate was getting us nowhere,
00:20:26we pulled an ungrateful Hammond out of his hole
00:20:30and found another route up the mountain.
00:20:38Actually looking forward to seeing a bear, I really am.
00:20:42I like all bears except polar bears, which I hate.
00:20:46They're vicious and they eat school children.
00:20:47Joyously, we soon found another suitable spot
00:20:52where I discovered I had a small problem.
00:20:57I'm still not high enough up to see over the shrubs.
00:21:01Nothing you can do about it now.
00:21:02What?
00:21:02Shut up. Nothing you can do about it now.
00:21:03I just wish I was a bit high.
00:21:05That's how high you are.
00:21:06This is...
00:21:06We settled down to wait.
00:21:11But shortly.
00:21:13And inevitably.
00:21:17Bored.
00:21:18Me too.
00:21:21It does get boring, this.
00:21:23It's 20 minutes.
00:21:27What was that?
00:21:29That's bear noise.
00:21:30Shh.
00:21:32I'm not bored now.
00:21:34That is a bear.
00:21:36It's a bear.
00:21:38It's a bear.
00:21:38I can't see it.
00:21:39It's fantastic.
00:21:40It's a bear.
00:21:44Yes, it is.
00:21:44It moved.
00:21:45Shh.
00:21:46That's his face.
00:21:47Oh, yes.
00:21:52I did a picture of the bear.
00:21:54Shh.
00:21:56Let's get away.
00:22:00Why won't it come over here?
00:22:02Probably because you're talking.
00:22:04I think we're a bit too conspicuous.
00:22:05We're staring them off.
00:22:06You are.
00:22:07Your car and his car are too bright.
00:22:12I know.
00:22:18Hammond and May agreed that my car was the quietest and most subtle.
00:22:24So they suggested I should creep towards the largest flesh-eating mammal in all of South America.
00:22:30And then, to top it all, bears are shitting in the woods.
00:22:36Bears are shitting in the woods.
00:22:36The bear is shitting in the woods.
00:22:37The bear is shitting in the woods.
00:22:41I have now seen everything.
00:22:42Edgar Hussein is done.
00:22:43Edgar Hussein is done.
00:22:47What the fuck?
00:22:47The king of spades.
00:22:48Tick.
00:22:50The king of spades.
00:22:51The king of spades.
00:22:52Tick.
00:22:53Tick.
00:22:54The king of spades.
00:22:54Tick.
00:22:55The king of spades.
00:22:56Tick.
00:22:57The king of spades.
00:22:58The king of spades.
00:22:59The king of spades.
00:23:00The king of spades.
00:23:01The king of spades.
00:23:02The king of spades.
00:23:03The king of spades.
00:23:04The king of spades.
00:23:05The king of spades.
00:23:06The king of spades.
00:23:07The king of spades.
00:23:08The king of spades.
00:23:09It's done.
00:23:13King's Bates. Tick.
00:23:23We therefore got back on the road and continued onwards.
00:23:39Finally arriving late that night in the capital city of Bogota.
00:24:04Having had a decent night's sleep,
00:24:06we convened to plan our next move.
00:24:10Morning.
00:24:11What's the matter with your face?
00:24:13Is it all good?
00:24:14No.
00:24:15It's like being in The Singing Detective.
00:24:17It's a bloody roof.
00:24:19Anyway, listen.
00:24:20Sorry, I'm briefly mesmerised.
00:24:22Listen.
00:24:23I'm back.
00:24:24While you were out this morning buying new action trousers, I see,
00:24:26I have got a book.
00:24:28All of Columbia's wildlife is in this book.
00:24:31Yep, all of it.
00:24:33I've been through it.
00:24:35Guess what there isn't?
00:24:37A hippopotamus.
00:24:38Well, so far we've got pigeon, dog, horse.
00:24:41Donkey.
00:24:43Don't bring those up, please.
00:24:45Jaguar.
00:24:46Jaguar.
00:24:47Bear.
00:24:48Yes.
00:24:49Condor is next.
00:24:50Condor is next.
00:24:51Is there a case, I think there is, for a little light car modification?
00:24:56I agree.
00:24:57There is.
00:24:58There is.
00:24:59I think I might be scaring them off a bit.
00:25:00I could make some changes.
00:25:01I'm just thinking...
00:25:02Do you know what I could give my car?
00:25:03A roof.
00:25:04Yeah, that's a good idea.
00:25:05There is evidence to suggest in your flaking visage.
00:25:08Then you wouldn't look like Michael Gambon in the 80s.
00:25:11Michael Gambon in the 80s.
00:25:13We then went shopping in Bogota's massive auto district.
00:25:22Twenty city blocks of nothing but shops selling car parts.
00:25:27All I really need, if I'm honest, to make my car better is some kind of ladder, so I get
00:25:40some elevation for the photography, and a chair to sit on, and a roof.
00:25:47Oh, gold dust.
00:25:50Look at that.
00:25:52That is perfect.
00:25:54So, um, can I have 20 metres?
00:25:5920...
00:26:01That's not a good sign, is it?
00:26:08As we went about our shopping, I received a rather intriguing phone call.
00:26:15It's afternoon.
00:26:17Sure.
00:26:19OK.
00:26:20Right, bye.
00:26:21That was our Colombian fixers.
00:26:23They say, um, this afternoon they want us to try something which is, they say, the thing
00:26:28that Colombia is most famous for.
00:26:34Yup.
00:26:36Football.
00:26:38Specifically, a match between the Grand Tour team and our Colombian fixers.
00:26:44Hammond, with his gammy knee, couldn't play, so made himself our manager.
00:26:50So, we're going to play a five, four, four.
00:26:55I doubt it.
00:26:56Five, four, three, five.
00:26:58How many people are on our team?
00:26:59Two.
00:27:00It's eight aside.
00:27:01Three.
00:27:02Right, well, we're going to play...
00:27:03Drop the fiver.
00:27:04Three.
00:27:06Four.
00:27:07Three.
00:27:08Three.
00:27:09Three.
00:27:10With the crowd of onlookers at fever pitch, the game began.
00:27:18And since I was our biggest player, from any angle, I was put in goal, which went well.
00:27:25One.
00:27:26One.
00:27:27Two.
00:27:28Two.
00:27:29Two.
00:27:30Three.
00:27:31Three.
00:27:32Two.
00:27:33Three.
00:27:34Two.
00:27:35Also, the ref was pretty harsh.
00:27:37What?
00:27:38How can it be handball?
00:27:39He hasn't got a hand.
00:27:42The match continued with some good clean tackles from us.
00:27:49and, eventually, an actual goal.
00:27:58But my goalkeeping continued to let the side down.
00:28:02Oh, come on!
00:28:08And even though I'd given my all...
00:28:11I just coughed my lungs up.
00:28:14I was eventually substituted for our Special Forces security guy.
00:28:19...who did well, despite his pixelated face.
00:28:27We may as well go and modify our cars now, since we're not playing.
00:28:30Yeah.
00:28:31The only problem is...
00:28:32...nobody will be able to film us.
00:28:34Because they're playing football.
00:28:35And they are not stopping.
00:28:37Why don't we just quietly leave them to it?
00:28:39We'll get on with it.
00:28:41It's not as if anyone's gonna miss us.
00:28:43Agh!
00:28:44Agh!
00:28:45Agh!
00:28:46Agh!
00:28:47Agh!
00:28:48Agh!
00:28:49Agh!
00:28:50Agh!
00:28:51Agh!
00:28:52Agh!
00:28:53Agh!
00:28:54Agh!
00:28:55Agh!
00:28:56Agh!
00:28:57Agh!
00:28:58Agh!
00:28:59Agh!
00:29:01Agh!
00:29:02Agh!
00:29:03Agh!
00:29:04Agh!
00:29:05Agh!
00:29:06Agh!
00:29:07Agh!
00:29:08Agh!
00:29:09Agh!
00:29:10Agh!
00:29:11Agh!
00:29:12Agh!
00:29:13Agh!
00:29:14Agh!
00:29:15Agh!
00:29:16Agh!
00:29:17Agh!
00:29:18Agh!
00:29:19Agh!
00:29:20Agh!
00:29:21Agh!
00:29:22Agh!
00:29:23Agh!
00:29:24I've camouflaged it. Well, yes, you painted it.
00:29:26It's got roll-down netting that goes over the windows when I'm using it as a hide,
00:29:30and it has an inbuilt... Well, it's got a raise on it as well,
00:29:33cos the one problem I've had is ground clearance.
00:29:35What? You've spent two days laughing at Hammond and me
00:29:39cos we've got cars that have been raised and how awful they are,
00:29:42and then you've done exactly the same.
00:29:44As an alternative expression, rather than, I'm going to raise my car,
00:29:47why not, I'm going to ruin my car? Yes, what you've done is ruined it.
00:29:51Well, let's see. I've done it very subtly.
00:29:53How do you think Tony Blair and Gordon Sting are going to feel
00:29:56when they see that you've turned their panda into a monster panda?
00:30:00Very happy, actually. That's communist camouflage.
00:30:03I got it from a picture of a Russian tank.
00:30:05This is my idea, PA system. I always do that.
00:30:08It's not a PA system. Well, it is.
00:30:09It's a bird call and animal call system.
00:30:12I have an iPad, other tablets are available in the car,
00:30:15in which I can select a number of animal noises,
00:30:17and they play out of those speakers. It's allure.
00:30:19Well, can we move on to Hammond, who's obviously gone?
00:30:22If you can find it. Completely mad.
00:30:25I, too, have gone the camouflage route, because it's green, as you can see.
00:30:29I've mended the half shaft up here.
00:30:31That's the only mechanical work I've had to do,
00:30:32because other than that, it's been perfect.
00:30:34Yes, this structure here... Yeah.
00:30:37...is a hide. I know it is.
00:30:39It's a hide on a monster truck.
00:30:42It's people that they're scared of, and they won't see any people.
00:30:45Those all drop down. It's not...
00:30:46And in there, I've got everything I need,
00:30:48because often you're sitting and waiting a long time to take pictures.
00:30:50We've learnt that.
00:30:51I can cook, eat, entertain myself,
00:30:53whilst waiting to capture an award-winning photograph of an animal.
00:30:57And this rotates to 360 degrees.
00:31:00I see. And you, because it's you, you put two cameras in there to film yourself.
00:31:05Yes. That's the most important thing.
00:31:07I love the idea that you two, I'm afraid there's no other word, morons,
00:31:11have decided that somehow you can camouflage your car so they won't be seen by aminals.
00:31:16I have already proved that mine can drive right up to a bear. He's interested.
00:31:21Speaking of yours, what have you done?
00:31:24Whoa! What's all that on the back?
00:31:26That, gentlemen, is a scissor lift.
00:31:28What?
00:31:29It's a scissor lift.
00:31:30Simply get in that and rise up so that I have a...
00:31:33Oh, so you're going to be a window cleaner.
00:31:36The only thing this didn't really have was proper elevation. Now I have it.
00:31:41How high does it go?
00:31:4238 feet.
00:31:43Really?
00:31:44Yes.
00:31:45It'll just fall over.
00:31:46That's why I fitted it with outriggers.
00:31:47They're not far enough apart. Or big enough.
00:31:49They slide...
00:31:50How much does it weigh, that?
00:31:52I've added half a tonne.
00:31:54And there's something else I've done. Oxygen is fitted for my engine.
00:32:00Why do you need oxygen?
00:32:01Because we're going very high.
00:32:02What, 38 feet?
00:32:03No, 15,000 feet. More, actually. Nearly 16,000 feet.
00:32:07Really?
00:32:08Why?
00:32:09Condors. They're in the sky.
00:32:10Yes, but they fly above the ground.
00:32:12Yes, I know, but in order to catch up to them, we must go high.
00:32:14We can't catch up with them and just photograph them in the face.
00:32:17I'm telling you, you want a condor, we've got to go high.
00:32:20Oh, my God.
00:32:22What?
00:32:23I've seen it as well.
00:32:24What? My roof?
00:32:25Is that the only piece of fabric you could find to make a roof?
00:32:28What is that?
00:32:29It's wildlife.
00:32:30That's for a nursery or something, isn't it?
00:32:32Me?
00:32:33It'll keep the sun and the rain off my head.
00:32:35The rain?
00:32:36Well, keep the sun off.
00:32:37It's a really nice installation. That is a quality job as well. You've really...
00:32:40That is...
00:32:41So, I've got oxygen for the altitude, which we're going to.
00:32:44Yeah.
00:32:45That'll stop my face disintegrating.
00:32:47It won't.
00:32:48And that means I can photograph birds.
00:32:50It won't.
00:32:52As it was another 200-mile drive to reach Condor Country,
00:32:57we decided to get cracking immediately.
00:33:00It's a rainy day.
00:33:01It's a rainy day.
00:33:02It's a rainy day.
00:33:03It's a rainy day.
00:33:04It's a rainy day.
00:33:05It's a rainy day.
00:33:06It's a rainy day.
00:33:07It's a rainy day.
00:33:08It's a rainy day.
00:33:09It's a rainy day.
00:33:10I don't want to go out.
00:33:11I'm gonna let myself get absolutely so good.
00:33:15Have you two done this?
00:33:20Yeah.
00:33:21Think of it as advertising.
00:33:22Advertising what?
00:33:23Well, yourself, mate.
00:33:24We've really...
00:33:25You need to work on your presentation for me.
00:33:26You look like crap.
00:33:27How do I turn it off?
00:33:28The instructions are all on the screen.
00:33:33Mate, it's a brilliant icebreaker.
00:33:38I can't...
00:33:39I can't hear myself.
00:33:40Hey!
00:33:41I can't hear myself.
00:33:42Hey!
00:33:43Hey!
00:33:44Hey!
00:33:45Hey!
00:33:46Hey!
00:33:47Hey!
00:33:48Hey!
00:33:49Hey!
00:33:50Hey!
00:33:51Hey!
00:33:52Hey!
00:33:53Hey!
00:33:54Hey!
00:33:55Hey!
00:33:56Hey!
00:33:57Hey!
00:33:58Hey!
00:33:59Hey man!
00:34:00Oh...
00:34:01Hey, hey, fall off.
00:34:02That's it, Jeremy.
00:34:03People who wouldn't give you a second look,
00:34:04are looking.
00:34:05Yeah, sorry.
00:34:08Where are the speakers in this bloody thick?
00:34:12Oh god, they're moulded.
00:34:14Oh, no, I can put that with this.
00:34:18No more!
00:34:19I don't know much about engineering that you know,
00:34:22but I do know that if you rip enough wires out,
00:34:25you can mend anything.
00:34:34That's better.
00:34:37Now the music's stopped,
00:34:38I have uncovered a small problem with the modification.
00:34:42What's that?
00:34:44Quite a lot of rattling.
00:34:53I don't want to speak too soon, but I think my big wheels are working.
00:34:56The car is going along, they're not rubbing on anything.
00:35:00The ride's still reasonable.
00:35:07As we left Bogota and picked up speed,
00:35:09my mods became even more annoying.
00:35:14Sit rep and it's not good.
00:35:16I mean, yes, I can't hear the rattling from the scissor lift anymore,
00:35:21but only because the roof is flapping like a bastard.
00:35:24And the steering's worryingly light,
00:35:27with all the weights at the back.
00:35:29Also, the rear tyres now never catch on the arches.
00:35:34Apart from that.
00:35:36Apart from that.
00:35:37And then.
00:35:41And in the Panda, things weren't that great either.
00:35:47I'm starting to hear some alarming noises from my car,
00:35:49so I thought I'd share them with you.
00:35:53There's one of them.
00:35:54It's almost as if the wheels have moved on the hubs,
00:35:58and it's starting to touch little bits of the arches.
00:36:00You hear that?
00:36:03To try and stop the roof flapping,
00:36:05I've put my monopod here to keep it all taut,
00:36:08and that hasn't worked.
00:36:11Rattling, tyre noise, flapping.
00:36:14Yeah.
00:36:15Yeah.
00:36:16Bad.
00:36:18Still, it could be worse.
00:36:23Oh, cock.
00:36:25Right, this is quite bad.
00:36:27What's happened on all those windy bits,
00:36:29as the car leans to one side and the other,
00:36:30is that the bigger tyre has rubbed against the filler pipe
00:36:34from the cap here down to the tank,
00:36:36and it's made a little hole in it,
00:36:37and the fuel is gushing out,
00:36:39which is why I was getting a bit stoned as I was driving along.
00:36:42I thought it was just altitude,
00:36:42but it was actually petrol fumes.
00:36:45So what I'm going to do is drain the tank down by about half,
00:36:49so the level is below that bit of the pipe.
00:36:51I will patch up that hole,
00:36:54put the fuel back in,
00:36:55and then I'll put the proper wheels back on.
00:37:01While May did what he just said,
00:37:04Hammond and I hoovered up some animal pictures.
00:37:07into rain that was becoming absolutely spectacular.
00:37:23It's the variety of Columbia that staggers me most of all.
00:37:38Well, one minute you're in what looks like Japan.
00:37:41Then it's the Yorkshire Dales.
00:37:45Then it's Austria.
00:37:47Then it's California.
00:37:50It's like the greatest hits of the world,
00:37:52all in one place.
00:37:54I mean, jeez, look at that now.
00:37:56Eventually, we were all reunited,
00:38:12and at my insistence,
00:38:14we began the long climb to 16,000 feet,
00:38:17where I knew the Condors would be.
00:38:20I cannot wait to see a Condor,
00:38:26because they are one of the most superb creations on Earth.
00:38:31They just are magnificent.
00:38:35They can stay at 18,000 feet all day,
00:38:37maybe flap their arms once.
00:38:40Once.
00:38:41Right, gentlemen, we're passing 10,000 feet now.
00:38:45Er, how's your temperature gauges?
00:38:47Yes. Mine's getting hot, really hot.
00:38:52Weirdly, my car isn't overheating,
00:38:55but it is producing some steam,
00:38:57because I think maybe the cap isn't perfectly sealed,
00:39:00and the ambient pressure is going down.
00:39:03Yeah.
00:39:04Why does he say ambient pressure?
00:39:06Well, not just pressure.
00:39:13Soon, we entered the clouds
00:39:15and pulled over to photograph something else
00:39:18we thought Amazon might like.
00:39:22The hummingbird.
00:39:27Sadly, though,
00:39:28to attract these wonderful little things,
00:39:31we had to take drastic measures.
00:39:33You know when wildlife photographers tell you
00:39:43how they got the shots?
00:39:44Yeah.
00:39:44I bet they never, ever say,
00:39:46and then we wore scarlet lipstick.
00:39:48No, I've never seen it mentioned.
00:39:51They also wouldn't say
00:39:53that if you want the birds to come up really close,
00:39:55you need to put a plastic flower in your mouth.
00:39:58Oh, that one's lovely.
00:40:12Look at that.
00:40:12Look at that.
00:40:12They are absolutely beautiful, aren't they?
00:40:26Shit.
00:40:27We've got to get further away.
00:40:32You got it?
00:40:33Epic.
00:40:38I've got to say,
00:40:39of all the things we've ever done,
00:40:41that's kind of up there, really.
00:40:43Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:40:43I think that might be my favourite.
00:40:45But now we've done one of the world's smallest birds,
00:40:48it's time to carry on going up.
00:40:51I'm one of the biggest.
00:40:52What?
00:40:53Well, we've got to get a condor, haven't we?
00:40:54They weren't condors.
00:40:55We continued on Jeremy's journey up into the heavens.
00:41:08Right, we're at something like 11,500 feet.
00:41:11We're still climbing.
00:41:13The car is definitely struggling now.
00:41:15The engine burns a mixture of oxygen and petrol,
00:41:19mainly oxygen.
00:41:20The oxygen is going down,
00:41:22so you can't burn as much petrol,
00:41:24so the engine develops less power.
00:41:25We'll have to go for second.
00:41:30Climbed, Pepe!
00:41:33Keep an eye on the temperature.
00:41:35It is working extra hard.
00:41:38It might just pass a critical level
00:41:39at which this car can't suck in enough oxygen
00:41:42to mix with fuel to burn.
00:41:45And then I'll run out of steam.
00:41:48The good thing is that while my colleagues
00:41:51were painting their cars,
00:41:53I was fitting mine with oxygen tanks.
00:41:57So when I start to really struggle,
00:41:59I shall simply feed pure O2 to the engine and me.
00:42:03Oh, my God.
00:42:08Come on.
00:42:11Hammond, how are things in your monster truck?
00:42:14Not brilliant.
00:42:15It's gone very wheezy and it's getting very hot.
00:42:19We've just passed 14,000 feet now.
00:42:22Really running out of power.
00:42:24Switching to oxygen for the engine.
00:42:29There we are.
00:42:30Two clicks.
00:42:32Right, watch this.
00:42:37Kickdown is restored.
00:42:40That's profound, the difference.
00:42:41Leading my breathless colleagues,
00:42:46we continued to climb.
00:42:50And soon found ourselves on a volcano.
00:43:01Last erupted in the 1980s
00:43:04and killed 25,000 people.
00:43:09I've never seen anywhere with fewer animals in it.
00:43:14Condors live here, I'm telling you.
00:43:16They're coming to get volcano mice.
00:43:19You're destroying our cars.
00:43:20You've got oxygen for you and your car only.
00:43:23And we can see nothing!
00:43:25Nothing!
00:43:27Hammond did seem to have a point
00:43:29as no condors appeared.
00:43:31Nothing for it.
00:43:34We've got to go higher.
00:43:37Find Colin Condor.
00:43:39Come on, hurry up.
00:43:41Follow me.
00:43:45This is it.
00:43:46This is all I've got.
00:43:48Foot is flat to the floor.
00:43:51Temperature is flying up.
00:43:54Just been told we're at 15,500 feet.
00:43:59Oh God, not another steep one.
00:44:01Yes!
00:44:10My plucky little panda, however,
00:44:12was coping rather well.
00:44:15Poor.
00:44:16Ho, ho, ho.
00:44:18Until it broke down.
00:44:22Bollocks!
00:44:25I've got a completely dead battery.
00:44:27All right, James, I'm going to try
00:44:31and push start you with this.
00:44:33I'll be gentle.
00:44:35Okay, please push me with the bumper,
00:44:37not the wheels.
00:44:38I'm sure you realise that.
00:44:42Whoa!
00:44:44Hang on, you've put my window through.
00:44:46Oh, there is a God!
00:44:47I'm going to back up
00:44:48to amuse myself looking at this.
00:44:51Reverse!
00:44:52I mean, you've come disconnected
00:44:53on your back bumper on one side.
00:44:58Oh God, now mine's died and he's boiling.
00:45:01Whoa, that's proper boiling.
00:45:03My only option
00:45:04was to try and keep some air
00:45:06flowing through the radiator.
00:45:07So, I set off once more.
00:45:15Ooh!
00:45:21If it's swimming through ash,
00:45:23that's the problem.
00:45:26It's now getting hotter than ever
00:45:27and I don't like this edge.
00:45:34That shat me up a bit.
00:45:37How much further is it
00:45:45to this no-picture opportunity?
00:45:48Not much further now,
00:45:50only a couple of...
00:45:50well, a bit.
00:45:53He doesn't know.
00:45:55But then I saw
00:45:57exactly the sort of ridge
00:45:59condors use
00:46:00to keep aloft.
00:46:02To reach it, though,
00:46:03we'd have to turn off the track.
00:46:07Now let's show those two
00:46:08what the jeep can do.
00:46:12There you go, you see.
00:46:14There you go.
00:46:20No.
00:46:21I can't get up there.
00:46:23That simply doesn't work.
00:46:26It's like Tolkien powder.
00:46:27Nope.
00:46:37Stuck again.
00:46:40Come on.
00:46:41Come on, Z.
00:46:44Yes, you little beauty.
00:46:45I may have overreached myself
00:47:05a little bit.
00:47:06Oh, look at all the condors.
00:47:08I can see they're everywhere.
00:47:11It doesn't work.
00:47:13Let's face it.
00:47:15I've had a brilliant idea.
00:47:18Let's just get off this dusty bit
00:47:20and set our hides up there.
00:47:22Yes.
00:47:23So, we drove off the dust.
00:47:33Found a new, likely-looking spot.
00:47:37And when the clouds had lifted,
00:47:39we set about getting ready
00:47:41to do photography.
00:47:42The idea of the netting
00:47:49is it stops the shine on the windows,
00:47:52which is very visible to animals.
00:47:55Oh.
00:47:58There was some on this side as well.
00:48:03Right, it's ready.
00:48:04You're going up, innit?
00:48:06Well, why do you not?
00:48:08Well, actually, one reason.
00:48:10You see the maximum weight?
00:48:12159 kilograms.
00:48:13What's the...?
00:48:14Well, you're not going anywhere, are you?
00:48:15Well, the camera is quite heavy.
00:48:17No.
00:48:17Oh, OK, yes, the camera.
00:48:24Why?
00:48:30This is a lot higher
00:48:31than it looked in the brochure.
00:48:33I wouldn't like that.
00:48:35That's really horrible.
00:48:37Keep going until the end bit drops out.
00:48:42Why don't you two...
00:48:43Yes?
00:48:44...get in your cars...
00:48:45Yes.
00:48:45OK.
00:48:46And can I just reinforce one thing?
00:48:49What?
00:48:50Silence is key.
00:48:52Agreed.
00:49:05That ridge up there looks promising.
00:49:07Right.
00:49:11Where is it?
00:49:13No, no, no, back a bit.
00:49:14Back.
00:49:15I can't go back.
00:49:16I'll have to go all the way around.
00:49:18What?
00:49:18I can hear it from up here.
00:49:25Right, that one there.
00:49:26Stop.
00:49:27Got it.
00:49:27I think I'll make a coffee.
00:49:38Then it was May's turn to disturb the peace.
00:49:42What is that?
00:49:43It's a bird call.
00:49:49It's a duck.
00:49:53Moments later, though, there was an even worse noise.
00:49:56Oh, God.
00:49:59Jesus.
00:50:01If I knew there was something tall and metal that would attract the lightning.
00:50:06Not wishing to be fried, I quickly descended.
00:50:09And then we all tried to outrun the storm.
00:50:16Which didn't work.
00:50:17Jesus Christ.
00:50:27We're 250 miles from the equator.
00:50:30We're on a volcano and a severe hailstorm.
00:50:33How much hail is there in the sky?
00:50:41There's a hail coming in there.
00:50:46Fencing into the back.
00:50:48Still, we've got some great condo photographs.
00:50:52Oh, look at this now.
00:50:55Life in the Jeep was hideous.
00:50:58Oh, God.
00:51:01Oh, God.
00:51:03Oh, he's right down in the back of my neck.
00:51:07Oh, f***.
00:51:10I'm just pulling the ice down in the back of my feet.
00:51:12Oh, bollocks.
00:51:13Richard was very sympathetic.
00:51:16Oh, dear.
00:51:18Oh, that is a lot of snuff.
00:51:23Oh, joy.
00:51:26Joy is mine.
00:51:30Mercifully, though, the storm passed.
00:51:32So we drove down the rough and icy mountain track long into the night.
00:51:43And the next morning, woke for a rethink in a makeshift camp on the edge of a town.
00:51:49What are you doing?
00:52:08Oh, what are you doing?
00:52:09I told you condors live down here.
00:52:11It's living.
00:52:13It was living up there, and it's had engine failure, and it's crashed here.
00:52:16It doesn't matter how it got here.
00:52:17The fact is, it is, and I've got the pictures of it.
00:52:19That means we're done.
00:52:20You can't put that on an Amazon screensaver.
00:52:25Why not?
00:52:26Well, it's lost quite a lot of its majesty.
00:52:32But it's a condor, and that means we're finished.
00:52:34That's it we've done.
00:52:35James, I've got a condor shot.
00:52:38Have you?
00:52:38Have you done it?
00:52:39That is the final one.
00:52:40It's a condor, in camera, finished, out of here.
00:52:45Hammond was wrong, though.
00:52:47We still had one more animal to find.
00:52:50The one that didn't make any sense.
00:52:53The hippopotamus.
00:52:55Right, listen.
00:52:57This is obviously some kind of town.
00:53:00I am a journalist, and a bloody good one.
00:53:04So why don't I pop into town and see if I can find out anything about this hippopotamus story?
00:53:09No, it's fogged up, I think, is the technical term.
00:53:36My car actually fell over in the night.
00:53:39I know nothing about it.
00:53:42Once we'd parked, I set about doing journalism.
00:53:47This is like being back on the Rotherham Advertiser, except this is nothing like Rotherham.
00:53:53How's this?
00:53:55Yes.
00:53:56Hippopotamus.
00:53:59Here's my bottom line.
00:54:01That's it.
00:54:03Nobody knows, nobody knows.
00:54:06Having drawn a journalistic blank.
00:54:08Excuse me.
00:54:09I decided to do art instead.
00:54:18What?
00:54:19Hippopotamus.
00:54:21Yes.
00:54:22Where?
00:54:25I think it's in Nápoles.
00:54:26What's that?
00:54:28I've got a Spanish-speaking cameraman.
00:54:29Where is he?
00:54:30What's that mean?
00:54:31In Nápoles.
00:54:32They are here.
00:54:37They are here.
00:54:38They are here.
00:54:39Where are they?
00:54:40Do you understand?
00:54:41How much do you put in Nápoles?
00:54:42How much do you put in Nápoles?
00:54:43120.
00:54:44I put in Nápoles.
00:54:44I put in Nápoles, I put in Nápoles.
00:54:45120.
00:54:47Having got the information, I went back to my colleagues.
00:54:50Any joy?
00:54:51Any joy?
00:54:53More than.
00:54:54I have heard the most astonishing story.
00:54:59Apparently, there was this guy in Colombia who had a business exporting forest products
00:55:05all around the world.
00:55:06Okay?
00:55:07Really, really successful.
00:55:08So successful, he bought himself some pet hippopotamuses.
00:55:12Who was he?
00:55:14Pablo, someone or other.
00:55:15Anyway, the police shot him.
00:55:17Why?
00:55:18I don't know.
00:55:20They shot him, and after he was dead, his hippopotamuses escaped.
00:55:23Yeah?
00:55:23And they'd been living in the wild and breeding.
00:55:26So there are hippopotamuses here, and they are wild, and I know where they are, and they're
00:55:32only 120 kilometres away.
00:55:34Well, we're in.
00:55:35Let's do it.
00:55:37Finish your coffees.
00:55:38That's excellent.
00:55:39That is staggering news.
00:55:40What?
00:55:40The only thing is, for this 120 kilometres, would either of you mullined if I modified my
00:55:44car by unmodifying it?
00:55:52Having all unmodified our cars, I decided that before moving out, there was a small job
00:55:58to do.
00:56:00Right, I've borrowed something from Hammond to annoy me.
00:56:05Seeing that little New Labour Fiat Panda with its Brexit sticker on.
00:56:31That is like putting an I-Heart Mexico sticker on the back of Donald Trump's beast.
00:56:40I mean, his car, not...
00:56:41We were now on the last 75 miles of our 1300-mile trek through what had turned out to be one
00:56:52one of the world's most incredible countries.
00:56:58If you were to combine Canada and Russia and Australia, you still wouldn't have the variety,
00:57:06in terms of terrain and temperature and wildlife, that we've seen on this absolutely epic journey.
00:57:15We'll see you later.
00:57:22Perfect.
00:57:24Yeah.
00:57:25Yeah.
00:57:25Yeah.
00:57:29Yeah.
00:57:34Yeah.
00:57:36Yeah.
00:57:36Yeah.
00:57:38But, of course, we wouldn't have been able to see any of that without our cars.
00:57:51Let me just remind you that this is a small, 49-horsepower, one-litre utility hatchback.
00:58:13It is a humble car, and yet that humility is actually its strength, because it's done everything the other two cars have done.
00:58:23It's climbed the same mountains, it's driven along the same rutted tracks, it's forded the same small rivers.
00:58:30It's absolutely brilliant. I love it.
00:58:32On this trip, the camera and production teams have lost six almost new Toyota Land Cruisers.
00:58:45Hammond has lost a half-shaft.
00:58:48May's lost most of his electrics and the starter motor.
00:58:53But this, nothing, nothing has gone wrong.
00:58:57It's taken everything that Colombia could throw at it.
00:59:02Temperature extremes, altitude extremes, roads like you wouldn't believe, and it's just gone, yeah, what?
00:59:11Yes, it's desperately uncomfortable.
00:59:13If you hit a pot hole hard enough, it would put your spine through the top of your skull.
00:59:18But, and this is more important, I liked it when we got here, and I like it even more now.
00:59:27It has a sturdy heart.
00:59:36I do realise that James Bond doesn't drive a monster truck.
00:59:41Nobody in a suit, in fact, has ever driven a monster truck.
00:59:45They're not cool.
00:59:47You could argue, as the other two have, that they're moronic and stupid.
00:59:51Or, you could argue, that they're fun, because that's what they are.
00:59:56They're built to make you smile.
00:59:58And what amazes me is that even with the modifications done to it, all of which have made it worse,
01:00:03it's too tall, too wide, too slow, it overheats.
01:00:07Still, it's done everything the other two cars have done, which makes it the best.
01:00:12Easily, in my opinion.
01:00:13Oh, my car's gone again.
01:00:18My car has just died again.
01:00:20I'm pulling over.
01:00:22Had you just done a piece of camera saying what a great truck it was?
01:00:26I'm air done.
01:00:27Eventually, the Trump truck was back in business.
01:00:40And soon, we were close to our final destination.
01:00:48Right, this, apparently, is the area where the businessman lived.
01:00:52And if you go down his escape road here...
01:00:55His what?
01:00:55The escape road, he built it in case the police came, and so he could get away.
01:01:01It wasn't very good, then, was it?
01:01:02No, it wasn't.
01:01:03Anyway, if you go down it, there's a pool where the hippos are now living.
01:01:08Target acquired.
01:01:09Let's do it.
01:01:10Let's do that.
01:01:11Hippos!
01:01:17So, quick dash down the escape route, to the water, grab a shot of a hippo.
01:01:25Yes, viewers, about a kilometre to go, and I haven't been run over by a monster truck.
01:01:35I'm absolutely delighted.
01:01:39Hammond, I can only see you behind me.
01:01:41Can you see Clarkson behind you?
01:01:44No, just looking for him.
01:01:45At that moment, though, we were distracted by what lay in front of us.
01:01:51That is a pond.
01:01:59That's a pond.
01:02:01Yes.
01:02:05We're in with a shout here.
01:02:06What?
01:02:07Well, that looks like a hippo sort of pond, doesn't it?
01:02:09Who put that?
01:02:10Did you put that on my car?
01:02:12What?
01:02:12That sticker.
01:02:13No, I thought you did when you did your mods.
01:02:15Don't be ridiculous.
01:02:16Well, I was surprised.
01:02:17It's a strong statement for you, but...
01:02:19You did that at that fuel stop, didn't you?
01:02:21It's been there since your mods went on, mate.
01:02:23No, it hasn't.
01:02:23You can shout it loud and proud.
01:02:24I wouldn't let your friends see it.
01:02:27Anyway, important business to be done.
01:02:29Rather than wait for Jeremy, we decided to be ready in case our final target appeared.
01:02:59Hammond.
01:03:13Malfoy's saying you are in my sights.
01:03:24Look at his big, fat face.
01:03:29Yes.
01:03:38Well, that's it.
01:03:40That's tremendous.
01:03:43Hippo Potter must.
01:03:45Photos of a hippo.
01:03:47Congratulations.
01:03:48Well, then us.
01:03:50Well, say, I say we've done it.
01:03:51We've done it.
01:03:52Where's...
01:03:53And I've been worrying about that.
01:03:55Well, if it gets here, you realise that'll be the first time any car on any of these...
01:03:59trips has ever got to the end without a single fault.
01:04:02Nothing's gone wrong with it.
01:04:03See, that's about the only time that's ever happened.
01:04:05A car get to the end.
01:04:06No, you're right.
01:04:06It hasn't broken at all.
01:04:07That's a record.
01:04:11You don't think you fell off that little scary bridge you did?
01:04:13I don't know.
01:04:15He overcooked it because it's near the end and tried to do some...
01:04:19Hang on a minute.
01:04:19Oh.
01:04:20Is that?
01:04:20It is.
01:04:21Oh.
01:04:22Brief moment of elation followed by plummeting depression.
01:04:29Where have you been?
01:04:30Welcome.
01:04:31I've been mending my camera.
01:04:33You don't need it.
01:04:35What?
01:04:35We've done it, mate.
01:04:36We've got shots of a hippo.
01:04:37It is done.
01:04:38We're finished.
01:04:38We've done it.
01:04:39Behold the hippo.
01:04:40We've got shots of a hippo just then.
01:04:41Came out a couple of minutes ago.
01:04:43So that's the end.
01:04:44That is the end.
01:04:45And we've got through the whole programme without once mentioning cocaine.
01:04:49Oh.
01:04:50James, we said before we came out here we weren't going to use the C word.
01:04:55We were going to be the first people ever to go to Columbia and not talk that.
01:04:59Sorry.
01:05:00I just slipped out.
01:05:03Well, on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end.
01:05:05We hope you enjoy looking at the photographs we've taken.
01:05:08They won't.
01:05:09Well, some of them are quite good.
01:05:10Well, one or two of them are good.
01:05:11No.
01:05:12Well, whatever.
01:05:13We'll see you very soon.
01:05:14Goodbye.
01:05:15Bye.
01:05:44Bye.
01:05:45Bye.
01:05:46Bye.
01:05:47Bye.
01:05:48Bye.
01:05:49Bye.
01:06:14Bye.
Recommended
1:08:54
|
Up next
1:07:51
1:07:09
1:01:58
1:02:11
57:43
1:04:59
1:11:05
1:04:43
1:03:48
1:01:16
1:02:29
1:03:52
1:01:34
1:10:13
1:02:10
44:31
1:02:38