- 4 months ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00What time is it?
00:307.30 a.m.
00:33Have you got a bar here?
00:35No, sir.
00:37Now.
00:44It's mine! It's mine!
00:46Get it! I'll be!
00:48That was the last of the drink, you bastard!
00:50I bloody stole it!
01:00Here! You're a policeman!
01:04You could get a pub open at this time of the morning, couldn't you, eh?
01:14Sir Larry?
01:15Ah, welcome. Come in, gentlemen.
01:17Everyone's been dying to meet you.
01:19I always say that.
01:21Oh, thank you.
01:23Lovely, aren't they?
01:24They're a pair, you know.
01:26Now then, don't tell me.
01:27You're the off-license explosion.
01:29Seems awfully unsafe, the off-license trade these days still.
01:33One man's meat is another man's poison.
01:35Life goes on, or rather it doesn't, thank God.
01:38Leg! Anyone?
01:39Just joking?
01:40No, sir. The hotel death page.
01:43Well, now, he's over here, mostly.
01:45Yes, they're awfully good fun, aren't they?
01:47Would you care to examine the body?
01:49Is it a girl?
01:50Well, now, it's funny you should say that.
01:53It's fatty!
01:55Where did you get to?
01:56We were in the middle of a game of cards!
01:57Yeah, we got tired of waiting, so we looked at yours and you lost.
02:01You owe us 50 quid and your carcass...
02:03Wake up! Wake up!
02:05You owe us money!
02:06Yeah, wake up!
02:08I'm afraid he's dead.
02:10Ah.
02:12Well, who's got his money, then?
02:13Yeah, did you find his credit cards? He promised his to us.
02:15Well, we won them in a card game, actually.
02:17So where are they?
02:19Well, that's a strange feature.
02:20Because when he came in, he was wearing nothing but this.
02:25That's our property!
02:26Yeah, we rented it to him!
02:27Gentlemen, please!
02:29Show some respect!
02:30Tell him that he owes us a hundred quid!
02:32Are you sure you haven't got a bar in this place?
02:33Yes, sir.
02:34What, it's that alcohol smell, then?
02:37Embalming fluid!
02:38Balmy fluid!
02:39Right!
02:40I'll have some of that, then!
02:42I'll have some of that.
02:45Aha!
02:49Gentlemen, please, do you know who this body is?
02:51Yes, it's Fatty!
02:53And who is Fatty?
02:54He is Fatty!
02:56Look!
02:57We don't know who he is.
02:59All we know is his name is Fatty and he was a client.
03:02A client?
03:03Yeah.
03:04I think he should be grateful.
03:05We showed him a bloody good chest!
03:07We did, and he didn't even bloody pay!
03:10What do you mean, didn't even bloody even pay?
03:12Excuse me!
03:18Looking for a good time?
03:21So are we.
03:25Dreamy time escorts.
03:28That's us, matey!
03:29Escorts, bastards!
03:30Yes!
05:09But to show you there's no hard feelings, I'm prepared to order one plate of tonic water.
05:14Tonic water, is it?
05:16Yes.
05:17Tonic water.
05:18Tonic water, he says.
05:20Oh, really?
05:21Tonic water?
05:22Did you say tonic water?
05:23Yes.
05:24Tonic water.
05:25He said tonic water.
05:26You say tonic water, do you?
05:28Yes.
05:29Tonic water is what I say.
05:30It's fine.
05:31If it's tonic water you want, it's tonic water you'll get.
05:33Come on.
05:34Don't.
05:35It's fine.
05:36Don't.
05:37Oh, my God.
05:39I don't know.
05:41I don't know.
05:43I don't know.
06:01Ah-ha-ha!
06:03Come on!
06:04Ha-ha-ha! Come on, then! Come on!
06:08Get him! Get him! Faster! Faster!
06:25Got it!
06:29Well, it'll be open any day now. Won't be long.
06:32God bless Jaime Henderson.
06:34Living above and off license, what could be better?
06:37Living in one?
06:39You're right. We must become a lot more friendly with Jaime Henderson.
06:43Why don't we go here, then?
06:46Cheese sandwich and half an apple.
06:49Good Lord, you'd think you'd have a drink with this lunch.
06:52Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
06:58Morning, Mr Jolly.
07:00Good.
07:03Large one.
07:04Don't mind if I do.
07:06Well, that's fatty's money out of the window.
07:10Yeah.
07:11And fatty!
07:12Well, it's his own fault.
07:13You're not getting fat.
07:14No, you're not getting fat.
07:15You're not getting fat.
07:16But we'll get into it.
07:17Well, it's his own fault.
07:19You're getting fat.
07:20Yeah.
07:21Well, it's his own fault.
07:22Well, it's his own fault.
07:23Good. Large one.
07:27Don't mind if I do.
07:31Well, that's fatty's money out of the window.
07:36And fatty.
07:38Well, it's his own fault.
07:40You shouldn't play Let's See Who Can Fall Out Of The Window the best when you're drunk.
07:44Not on the 18th floor, no.
07:53Running a bit low on alcohol?
08:02Yes.
08:03That's the stuff we started yesterday.
08:06Should be finished by now.
08:16Well, let's have a look at that, then.
08:18OK.
08:21Bloody table.
08:23Oh, that's a bit flat.
08:28Ha!
08:29Wait just one moment.
08:50That's very good.
08:52I'll have another.
08:54Quick!
09:01Brilliant.
09:05Get some gin!
09:06Tonic!
09:07Sorry.
09:19So am I.
09:20Love Bucket's incredibly sparkling tonic water.
09:21Well, we're all right for tonic water, then, aren't we?
09:22We're having a bloody tonic water party!
09:23We're having a bloody tonic water party!
09:24Oh!
09:25Oh!
09:26Oh!
09:27Oh!
09:28Oh!
09:29Oh!
09:30Oh!
09:31Oh!
09:32Oh!
09:33Oh!
09:34Oh!
09:35Oh!
09:36Oh!
09:37Oh!
09:38Oh!
09:39Oh!
09:40Oh!
09:41Oh!
09:42Oh!
09:43Oh!
09:44Oh!
09:45Oh!
09:46Oh!
09:47Oh!
09:48Oh!
09:49Oh!
09:50Oh!
09:51Oh!
09:52Oh!
09:53Oh!
09:54Oh!
09:55Oh!
09:56Oh!
09:57Oh!
09:58Ah!
10:00Ah!
10:02Ah!
10:04Ah! Ah! Ah!
10:06Bloody hell!
10:08I mean, Henderson's taking delivery
10:10of exploding tonic water!
10:12That's gonna be a whacking off-licence when it opens!
10:14Open the bloody window!
10:16Pardon? Open the bloody window!
10:18Open the bloody window!
10:20Ah! Ah! Fingers!
10:22Fingers! Fingers!
10:24Back!
10:28What was that for? That's for the bloody tonic water!
10:30I thought you'd drop me in a bucket
10:32for the tonic! Don't be clever all the time!
10:38Now come away from the window!
10:44Now listen!
10:48Quick! Quick!
10:58Come in!
11:02Hello!
11:06Hello!
11:08Oh!
11:12Business is a bit slack!
11:16Ah! Hang on!
11:18Oh!
11:20Oh!
11:22Oh!
11:23Oh!
11:24How's the fluffy toy business?
11:25Who the bloody hell are you?
11:26What fluffy?
11:27Oh!
11:28Oh!
11:29Brilliant!
11:30Now, are you sure nobody knows where you are?
11:31Yeah, but that's so large!
11:32Yes, of course it was!
11:33Shut up!
11:34Come in!
11:40Come in!
11:50Come in!
11:52Now, are you sure absolutely nobody knows where you are?
12:14Nein!
12:15Right!
12:16Did you hear that?
12:20Yes!
12:21Well, the bell's working then!
12:22Ah!
12:23I see old jolly has got off to an early start!
12:25It's not unusual to be loved by anyone!
12:28It's not unusual to have fun with anyone!
12:32But when I see you hanging about with anyone!
12:37Hi!
12:38Hi!
12:39Hi!
12:40Hi!
12:41Hi!
12:42Hi!
12:43Hi!
12:44Hi!
12:45Hi!
12:46Hi!
12:47Hi!
12:48Hi!
12:49Hi!
12:50Hi!
12:51Hi!
12:52Hi!
12:53Hi!
12:54All I'm saying is the one advertisement in the Times saying,
12:57what are you doing this weekend, fancy getting drunk, won't work!
13:01You gotta put the telephone number!
13:04But we know the telephone number!
13:09Escorts!
13:10Escorts!
13:11Coming if you're saucy!
13:13Can I borrow some Fairy Liquid?
13:16What?
13:17Again?
13:18Shut up, shall I-
13:19Of course you can, Ralphie!
13:20You alright, Ralph, if you cut yourself shaving?
13:21I'll bring it back.
13:29He goes through a lot of fairy liquid, doesn't he?
13:32Huh. Maybe his lager's flat.
13:35Why must you always be so rude to Mr Jolly?
13:39You are jeopardising our relationship with him.
13:42I'm what?
13:43I said you're jeopardising our relationship with Mr Jolly!
13:46If I'm stop squishing!
13:51What?
13:56Telephone!
14:01Dreamy time, Ascouts!
14:03Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
14:08Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
14:13Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
14:17Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
14:20Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
14:26OK.
14:31What was that?
14:33Wrong number.
14:37Only joking!
14:39It's an engagement for this morning.
14:41Ten o'clock.
14:42A Mr Yakimoto.
14:44Oh, God!
14:46Another French bastard!
14:48Yes!
14:49He's at the Holiday Inn for a conference
14:51and wants two young attractive live escorts
14:54for a really good time.
14:58Should be a doddle.
15:00Ah!
15:01Well!
15:02Things are looking up!
15:05Uh-huh!
15:06Aha!
15:10Ah!
15:12He'srist!
15:15Huh...
15:17That's a cool hark.
15:20Hmm...
15:21Like a
15:35Where's this yucky, my toe fella?
15:37I couldn't walk.
15:39This way.
15:41Okey-dokey.
15:47Dreamy time escorts!
15:49No job too big, door to door.
15:51We are on the phone.
15:55Dreamy time escorts, monsieur!
15:57Do you want to go to that toilet now?
15:59Do you mind if I use your telephone?
16:01Come on, let's make it messy!
16:05Get me room service!
16:07Come on, let's start!
16:09Room service, get me eight gins.
16:11Now I'm going to make that 16 large ones.
16:13Who dares gins?
16:14Hang on, I'll find out.
16:15What's the room number?
16:16Nebushi Shanghai.
16:18Nebushi Shanghai!
16:20Okay!
16:23Bloody room service!
16:24You can never get a drink when you want!
16:26Bastards!
16:27Saijian! Saijian! Saijian!
16:29Oh, shut up!
16:30You want a drink?
16:31Drinky!
16:32Drinky!
16:33What a remarkably wise choice, sir.
16:36That'll be £4.80.
16:38Well, that's very kind, yes.
16:39I'll have one myself, yes.
16:40£9.60.
16:42You got a wallet, have you?
16:43Well, that's very kind.
16:44We'll call it 20.
16:45Thank you very much.
16:46What a nice man!
16:47Off we go!
16:48Off we go!
16:49Off we go!
16:50Off we go!
16:51Off we go!
16:53You got a wallet, here!
16:54ыйes
17:11A typical chirpy cock made.
17:19Arapana Castle, stick it up your arsehole.
17:22Famous number 10 Downing Street.
17:24And look, there goes Winston Churchill on his way to buy some cigars.
17:31And they're open.
17:33Now this is what we call an Old English pub.
17:36And oh look, here comes Dick Turpy.
17:39Good morning, unsticker.
17:40Right, I'll have a large gin.
17:42It's thirsty work, this highway.
17:44Come on up.
17:46And here we are inside the traditional English pub.
17:51Two large gins, please, landlord.
17:54Another Old English pub.
17:56Cheers.
17:58And another Old English pub.
18:02Another Old English pub.
18:05That's right, mate. Bottoms up.
18:08Cheers.
18:09Cheers.
18:10Yeah, this is another traditional Old English pub, which is very close to closing time, if you don't mind.
18:17Right, I've told you four times already. We're closed. You two out now.
18:22Look, buster.
18:24Brenda?
18:27And stay out!
18:29Oh, look. A traditional Old English illegal drinking establishment.
18:37Hey, squaw, squaw, squaw, squaw. I think you're going to like it here, mate. We're regulars, you know.
18:51Hey, Monica! Get home all right the other morning.
18:54Ooh!
18:54What are you talking about? What do you want?
18:59Well, I think we'll indulge in two massive gins, please, Monica. Nothing for the French geyser. Sorry, mate, you have to be a member.
19:05Yeah. Well, I think we're going to have a very nice time here. I think we are here.
19:09I think we're going to have a very nice time here.
19:14Prince Charles!
19:16You know Mr Jolly, don't you?
19:18Know him?
19:19He borrows our fairy liquid.
19:21Yes, we live next door to him, actually, haven't we?
19:23Do you know who's coming in today?
19:24Um, he was doing a spot-off cleaning.
19:28Give this to him, please, and say that someone left it for him, said there was a drink in it for the person that delivered it.
19:33Oh, let's open it up, then.
19:35Drink on the house, stupid.
19:36Yeah, drink on the house, stupid.
19:38Right, so you're just coming for that one, then?
19:40Have you got the money this time?
19:42Oh, of course, Monica. A wallet, monsieur.
19:46Ah, I wonder if you could organise some sort of drink-now-pay-later scheme.
19:49Molly-wolly-wee-wee-wee-plot-plot.
19:51Come on.
19:52Ow! Ow! Ow!
19:59What's Mr Jolly got that we haven't got?
20:04Ah, bloody fairy liquid.
20:07Oh, dear.
20:08Don't shut up.
20:17Shut up!
20:20Shut up!
20:26Bloody hell!
20:27One thousand five hundred and seventy-four gin and tonics, please, Monica.
20:43Large ones.
20:44Aw!
20:46Oh, dear, as well.
20:49Oh, dear.
20:50Ah, gross!
20:56Ah!
20:57Don't you?!
20:57Ah, my god!
21:03And let me pull her.
21:03Oh, my god!
21:04Oh, my god!
21:04No!
21:05Oh, my god!
21:07Oh, my god!
21:08Ah, my god!
21:09Oh, my god!
21:10Oh, my god!
21:11Oh, my god!
21:12I've been doing myself so much for years.
21:24It's your round. Hurray! How much money have we got?
21:27Well, have a look.
21:29We have got four quid and a note from Mr. Jolly.
21:36What does it say? It says,
21:38Check out Mr.
21:41Well, it's upside down.
21:43Well, it's bloody useless then, isn't it?
21:49Dear Mr. Jolly, here's 3,000 quid.
21:55Take out Nicholas Parsons tonight.
21:58BBC TV Centre at 6 o'clock.
22:01Mr. Jolly's gonna be pretty annoyed when we give him the note and eight quid.
22:07Nicholas Parsons!
22:09Why does Mr. Jolly get all the best jobs?
22:12What are we gonna say to Mr. Jolly?
22:14Nicholas Parsons!
22:16Yeah, we're gonna say, Nicholas Parsons!
22:20It's not gonna get us very far, is it?
22:22We've drunk all this money!
22:24What are we gonna do?
22:26Don't tell him.
22:28What about Nicholas?
22:29He's expecting someone to take him out.
22:32He's probably tired and sweaty after a long day in the studio, waiting somewhere, fruitlessly.
22:39Poor Nicholas.
22:41Well, we must do it.
22:44Of course!
22:45Escorts!
22:46Escorts!
22:47Escorts!
22:48It's the chance of a lifetime!
22:50It's the pinnacle of escorting!
22:52Nicholas Parsons!
22:54What's the bloody one right, son?
22:58Come on!
23:01Nicholas Parsons!
23:03Nicholas Parsons!
23:04Nicholas Parsons!
23:05Nicholas Parsons!
23:06Nicholas Parsons!
23:07Nicholas!
23:08Nicholas Parsons!
23:09What?
23:11What about you, Cheechy?
23:13Look at that police.
23:16Ah, good, officer. You found our van. It was stolen, you know.
23:19In fact, he stole it. Yeah.
23:21Take it away.
23:23Are you drunk, sir?
23:25Of course I am. I'm out of my bloody mind. I am. I just spent 3,000 quid in there.
23:28It's all right, officer. He's not driving.
23:31I am.
23:32Are you sure you're right to drive?
23:34There. I told you it'd only take us six and a half hours.
23:41He's so handsome, isn't he?
23:43We'd like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons because we respect him.
23:47And we feel sure that he would respect us as loyal and devoted fans.
23:52To think they chose our entry out of the thousands and thousands of others.
23:57Imagine an evening for two in London with Nicholas Parsons.
24:01And to think it was only 14 years ago, we were presented to Mr Roy Castle, weren't we?
24:06Handed us 86 miles to the gallon.
24:08No, they said we had to meet Nicholas outside BBC TV Centre at 6 o'clock.
24:13Mind you, that's the beauty of a two-stroke engine.
24:17You go get us there on time, my love.
24:19My little chauffeur.
24:22Safest car in the world.
24:31Which way do the BBC, you old git?
24:43That way, Gov and Taylor.
24:45Right, thank you.
24:46And have a nice day!
24:47Nicholas!
24:48Nicholas!
24:49Nicholas!
24:50It's us!
24:51We're here!
24:52Oh, hello.
24:53Come on!
24:54Looking for a good time?
24:55So are we!
24:56We've got the cash!
24:57No, no, no.
24:58It's all right.
24:59The BBC are playing.
25:00It is, isn't it?
25:01What?
25:02It's Nicholas Parsons!
25:03It's Nicholas bloody Parsons!
25:04Look, everybody!
25:05It's Nicholas bloody Parsons!
25:06Look, everybody!
25:07It's Nicholas bloody Parsons!
25:08We're gonna take out Nicholas Parsons!
25:09Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations.
25:10My car's over there.
25:11No, Nicholas!
25:12You get in here!
25:13That's right!
25:14You drink, we drive!
25:15Oh!
25:16Oh!
25:17Oh!
25:18Oh!
25:19Oh!
25:20Oh!
25:21Oh!
25:22Oh!
25:23Oh!
25:24Oh!
25:25Oh!
25:26Oh!
25:27Oh!
25:28Oh!
25:29Oh!
25:30Oh!
25:31Oh!
25:32Oh!
25:33Oh!
25:34Oh!
25:35Right.
25:36Where do you want to go?
25:37Mad Kenny's all-night drinker?
25:38Fatty Amal's kebab and off-licence?
25:40Or straight to the peep show?
25:41Well, actually, I have reserved a table for three at the Dorchester.
25:44The Dorchester?
25:46Yes, the Dorchester.
25:47The Dorchester with Nicholas bloody Parsons!
25:52Brilliant!
25:53Let's go!
25:54And she said, well, I don't think you're a fishmonger.
26:04I think you've done a plop in the wrong lavatory!
26:07Ah!
26:08Oh, dear.
26:09So, Nicholas.
26:10I hear they're making Sailor the Century into a film.
26:11Hey, Nicholas, look!
26:12I can line my flops!
26:13Oh!
26:14Oh!
26:15Oh!
26:16Oh!
26:17Oh!
26:18Oh!
26:19Oh!
26:20Oh!
26:21Oh!
26:22What exactly was your winning slogan?
26:25Never ever bloody anything ever!
26:29And that was your winning slogan?
26:31That's the one, Nicky.
26:32I've lived my life by that rule!
26:33Hey, Nicholas!
26:34I wonder if I can like my burps!
26:37I would like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons because never ever ever bloody anything
26:50ever!
26:51You're pissed, aren't you, Nicholas?
26:54Hey, Nicholas!
26:55I'm a fire extinguisher!
26:58So, Nicholas, I suppose you spend most of your time opening supermarkets and heliports
27:05these days?
27:06Oh, yes.
27:07You know how it is.
27:08As a matter of fact, tomorrow I am opening an off-licence.
27:13You're opening an off-licence?
27:16Yes, an off-licence.
27:18God!
27:19Imagine being so important you can open an off-licence!
27:23And we're with him right now, aren't we, Nicky Baby?
27:27Come on!
27:28Let's go and have a tattoo!
27:30Yeah!
27:31One that says, I've been out with Nicholas Parsons!
27:34And you can have one that says it's true!
27:36I was the bloke that took them out!
27:37Yeah, we can worry about the spelling later!
27:39And then we'll go back to your place and drink all your stuff!
27:42Come on, let's go!
27:44Get out of the way!
27:45Get out of the way!
27:46Get out of the way!
27:47Get out of the way!
27:48Get out of the way!
27:50Get out of the way!
27:52This is Nicholas Parsons!
27:54Get out of the way!
27:55Get out of the way!
27:56Get out of the way!
27:57Get out of the way!
27:58Get out of the way!
27:59Get out of the way!
28:00Get out of the way!
28:01Get out of the way!
28:02Yes, yes, yes!
28:03It's a fantastic house, Nicholas!
28:06Now, have you got any dirty films?
28:09No!
28:10You bastard!
28:12I...
28:13I...
28:14I...
28:15I...
28:16I said...
28:17Are you all right?
28:18I know, Nicholas!
28:19What?
28:20Yes?
28:21Let's have some fun!
28:22What kind of fun?
28:23Let's play a game!
28:24Not Fatty's game!
28:25No, no, no!
28:26That's all right!
28:27Not Fatty's game!
28:28You're all right with us, Nicholas!
28:30What...
28:31What is this game?
28:32Well, these are the rules!
28:33Yes!
28:34I go out of the room!
28:35Yes!
28:36And then?
28:37Yes!
28:38I come back in!
28:39Yes!
28:40You got that?
28:41Yes!
28:42Right!
28:43I'll go first!
28:44I'll go first!
28:47Oh, no!
28:48No!
28:49No!
28:50No!
28:51No!
28:52No!
28:53No!
28:54No!
28:55No!
28:56No!
28:57No!
28:58No!
28:59No!
29:00No!
29:01No!
29:02No!
29:03No!
29:05No!
29:06No!
29:07No!
29:11No!
29:12No!
29:19They're stupid bastards!
29:24They've put it on the wrong way round!
29:26Stay round!
29:33More Scots!
29:35But you're my agent. You've got to do something.
29:38Well, they're the strangest Mr. and Mrs. Cooper I've ever met.
29:42Are you sure they're not Terry Scott's winners?
29:45Hey, Nicholas! Some of these bullets have got tax on!
29:47I can't call the police.
29:49If they call me here with these two, it'd ruin my reputation.
29:52I'm a family entertainer, remember? You've no idea what...
29:56Oh, my God. It's getting worse.
29:58You want to watch those stairs, Nicholas?
30:00Well, you've got to do something. They're breaking the place up.
30:02Nicholas!
30:03Yes?
30:04This bottle is empty.
30:06Have you got one that's exactly the same but unopened?
30:10I haven't got any more bottles.
30:13Right. Good night.
30:16Good night?
30:18Good night, Nicholas.
30:19Oh, good night!
30:20Good night, Nicholas.
30:22And now,
30:24Pissed from Norwich!
30:26Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
30:27Look!
30:28There's Nicholas Parsons!
30:29Oh, James, and don't spare the monkeys!
30:31Where's the van?
30:32Đã-da-da-da-da-da!
30:40Đã-da-da-da-da!
30:42Dã-da-da-da-da-da!
30:43I can't eat this.
31:13Is it too cold, Mr Lovebucket?
31:16I'm sure it's very tasty, but I'm just in a bad mood.
31:19Everyone for coffee?
31:20Oh, yes, please, Mr Lovebucket.
31:22Right.
31:26Now then, Reg, Norman, Ron, Hillary.
31:30As you know, last week someone wrote on the back window of my car,
31:34Mr Lovebucket is a wanker.
31:37Now, I don't understand this because I'm married.
31:41So not only is it very wrong, it's also very unkind.
31:49So I think whoever did this has to be made to regret it.
31:56Now, thanks to my contacts in the Metropolitan Police,
31:59I was able to get forensic analysis of the fingerprints involved.
32:04So I know who you are.
32:07And you know who you are.
32:09So why don't you step forward, Reg?
32:12I'm sorry, Mr Lovebucket.
32:22I know you are.
32:24You're leaving the house, Mr Lovebucket.
32:28Nobody, but nobody lays a finger on my car.
32:51They're leaving the house, Mr Lovebucket.
32:58What the bloody hell can I'm driving to call that?
33:09Show us your bloody licence!
33:11You're waiting to get your licence in a crack house!
33:13Shut up!
33:14I hate to fight you, one of these!
33:18That's it! That's it! We surrender!
33:20Good morning.
33:21Good morning, sir.
33:23Which one of you is Mr Jolly?
33:26Hey?
33:26Yesterday, I paid you £3,000.
33:30I am Mr... or rather, he is Mr Jolly.
33:33Mr Jolly, there's someone to see you. I'm just Mr Jolly's assistant.
33:36Could I have a name, please?
33:37Quiet you.
33:37Mr Quiet You to see you, Mr Jolly. He's a Hungarian, I think.
33:40I'll just go away.
33:42Where's the body?
33:43Under the head?
33:44No, I mean Nicholas Parson's body.
33:47Under Nicholas Parson's head?
33:49Under the Parson's nose, as it were.
33:51Look, where's Nicholas Parson's head, Nicholas Parson's body,
33:54and Nicholas Parson's nose?
33:55Er, probably in bed.
33:58We had a bit of a rough night last night.
34:00Look, did you or did you not take out Nicholas Parson's?
34:02Yes!
34:03You did?
34:04Yeah, we took him to our door, Chester.
34:05I know, but did you take him out?
34:07Yeah, look, I've got the tattoo to prove it!
34:09No, no, I meant take him right out.
34:11Take him right out? What?
34:13Dorking?
34:13No, no, I meant kill him.
34:17Oh, kill him!
34:24Now, if you don't kill Nicholas Parson's by 12 o'clock, I'll kill you.
34:31Make it tidy, but if you can't do that, make it messy.
34:36Yeah, and if you can't make it messy, make it noisy.
34:43And if you can't make it noisy, make it stupid.
34:47Stupid.
34:49Any questions?
34:50I don't think so. How about you?
34:53No.
34:54Right then.
34:55Do it!
34:56Do it!
34:57Do it!
34:58Do it!
34:59Do it!
35:00Do it!
35:01Do it!
35:02Do it!
35:03Do it!
35:04Do it!
35:06Do it!
35:07Do it!
35:08Do it!
35:09Do it!
35:10Do it!
35:11Oh, my beautiful friend.
35:21Freeze!
35:28Go! Go!
35:30This is probably gonna do it. This is for real.
35:32Right, come on, look, shoot, shoot!
35:35Quiet! No!
35:36Very quiet!
35:37He's the Lord's bone!
35:39We're supposed to save him by surprise!
35:41Hide, hide!
35:45Right, Parsons, you're dead!
35:47Lucky!
35:49Because we've got a titan saw,
35:51we've got any jumps you want to hear with a titan saw?
35:53Brody!
35:54Chopping fences in half!
35:56Thank you very much, boys.
35:57And ultimately...
36:20No time! No time!
36:22No time!
36:27Ah!
36:29Ah!
36:30Ah!
36:31Morning, Nicholas!
36:33We're... we're just leaving!
36:35Bye!
36:37How long does it take Parsons to get from the breakfast table to the front door?
36:48I don't know!
36:49Right, I'll mime it.
36:50Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum, pita-pada-pita-pada, open the door.
36:52How long was that?
36:53I don't know, I wasn't timing it.
36:54Well, we'll call it five seconds.
36:55Okay, it was five seconds.
36:56And how long's the fuse on these things?
36:58About ten seconds.
36:59Right.
37:00I'll count to five, and you stick these through the letterbox.
37:02One, two, three, four, five!
37:05No, through!
37:06Through!
37:07Push them!
37:08Push them!
37:09Push them!
37:10Right, take them out!
37:11Put them in your pockets!
37:12Put them in your pockets and run over there!
37:13Run very quickly!
37:14Run, run, run!
37:15Off you go!
37:16Off you go!
37:17Ah!
37:18Ah!
37:19Ah!
37:20Ah!
37:21Happy birthday!
37:22Ah!
37:27Now this is the master plan.
37:29Parsons bends down to see what it is.
37:32Eh?
37:33And you, smash his brain out with this.
37:36What do you think?
37:37It's a scorcher.
37:47Nicholas!
37:48Nicky, wicky, wicky, wicky!
37:51Sherry!
37:52Darling!
37:53I've got to go!
37:54Just stay upstairs until I get back!
37:57Oh!
37:58Oh!
37:59Oh!
38:00Oh!
38:01Oh!
38:02Oh!
38:03Oh!
38:04Oh!
38:05Oh!
38:06Oh!
38:07Oh!
38:08Oh!
38:09Oh!
38:10Oh!
38:11Oh!
38:12Oh!
38:13Oh!
38:14Oh!
38:15Oh!
38:16Oh!
38:17Oh!
38:18Oh!
38:19Oh!
38:20Oh!
38:22Oh!
38:23Oh!
38:24Oh!
38:25Oh!
38:26God!
38:28That really helped you find yourself.
38:39They've let him go!
38:40Parsons off and a chopper!
38:42They bastards.
38:43Let's get them.
38:44Follow that helicopter!
38:46Pull out that helicopter!
39:11It's the Jolie Brothers!
39:16Faster! Faster! Faster!
39:25Well, this is a turn-up for the books, isn't it?
39:28Yeah! You thought he'd have shown us this chopper last night?
39:31Yeah!
39:46Faster! He's getting away!
39:52I said, faster!
39:59Oh, my God!
40:01Get me out of here!
40:03Get me out of here, quick, before I shit my puns!
40:06Too late!
40:07Get me out of here!
40:08Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
40:19Corey! That's it! Down there!
40:21And, oh, God!
40:23Oh, God!
40:24Oh, God!
40:25Oh, God!
40:26Oh, God!
40:27No!
40:28No!
40:29Get away!
40:30Get away!
40:31Get away!
40:32Get away!
40:33All right!
40:39Get those straight! Get the...
40:41Go, you know, and he's faster!
40:42No!
40:43Come on!
40:44Faster, faster!
40:45Careful, careful!
40:46Go left!
40:47Go left!
40:48Go left!
40:52Oh!
40:53Hello, everybody!
40:55Thank you!
40:56Thank you!
40:59There's nobody here!
41:00There's nobody in the way!
41:02Go on!
41:03On!
41:04Faster!
41:05Faster!
41:06Mr Henderson!
41:07You've made this bloody machine go any faster!
41:11No, I bloody can't!
41:12Forget the whole bloody thing, then!
41:24Sorry.
41:31Mr Henderson!
41:32Mr Henderson!
41:36Mr Henderson!
41:38Miss...
41:39God, what a place!
41:41Mr Henderson!
41:58Who is it?
41:59A Nicholas Parsons!
42:00Fuck off!
42:01I...
42:02I said Nicholas Parsons!
42:03I know!
42:04Fuck off!
42:05I don't care for your bog monk house!
42:07Fuck off!
42:17Do you think I could use your telephone?
42:20Do I have to spell it out?
42:22If you...
42:23No, no, you have made that abundantly clear...
42:25Look!
42:26Anybody know you're here?
42:27Apparently not!
42:29Come on in!
42:30Oh, thank you very much!
42:31I...
42:32I hope I'm not interrupting your...
42:33Hold tray!
42:34What I mean!
42:42Right!
42:43Made it!
42:44Get the suitcases!
42:45We're going to Rio!
42:46But what are we gonna do?
42:47We'll never find Nicholas Parsons before 12 o'clock!
42:49I just told you!
42:50We're going to Rio!
42:51Now park everything!
42:52Yes, but what are we going to do?
42:53We're going to bloody Rio!
42:54What are we going to bloody do?
42:55Shut up!
42:56Take it easy!
42:57What are we gonna bloody do?
42:58Well, none of this would have happened if you killed Nicholas Parsons properly!
42:59I don't seem to want to get these dummy guns in without smashing them!
43:00Oh, John!
43:01What's new, Pussycat?
43:02We have the nearest team does it!
43:03What's new, Pussycat?
43:04What's new, Pussycat?
43:05Hooray!
43:06What's new, Pussycat?
43:07Why are we going to die?
43:08What's new, Pussycat, how do weibel ham?
43:09What do we could do?
43:10On your way?
43:11I know it costs!
43:12I'd love to get these dummy guns in without smashing them!
43:14Oh, God!
43:15What's new, Pussycat, what's new, Pussycat?
43:17What's new, Pussycat?
43:19I've got thousands of GPUs.
43:21What's new, Pussycat?
43:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
43:29Pussycat, pussycat
43:31I've got flowers and lights
43:34To spend with you
43:36So go and pound a yacht, you little pussycat
43:40Pussycat, pussycat
43:43Pussycat, pussycat
43:44Wait, wait, we'll take the lift
43:46That way nobody will spot us
43:47Good, thank you
43:48What can I do
43:50For you and your pussycat
43:52Nose
43:54What's new, Pussycat?
43:56Oh, where's my hands?
43:58Shut my pants!
43:59What's new, Pussycat?
44:00Oh, my, my
44:06Pussycat, pussycat
44:08You're so thrilling
44:10And I'm so willing to care
44:12For you
44:14So go and feed your
44:16Little Pussycat
44:26Yeah?
44:27We're looking for Mr Jolly
44:28Are we talking fluffy toys?
44:32We're talking a very fluffy toy
44:34Come on in then
44:36Excuse the mess
44:38I
44:40Had my godchildren round
44:42Rascals
44:50Now then, where is Mr Jolly?
44:52I'm Mr Jolly
44:54Eh?
44:56Very quiet
44:58Very quiet
44:59Quiet
45:00Go back
45:01Go, go, go
45:02God
45:03Oh, God
45:04Oh, God
45:05Oh, God
45:06Oh, God
45:14Let's get this straight
45:15You're saying you are Mr Jolly
45:17Of course I am
45:18Now what about this street grand?
45:20Are you sure?
45:21Of course I'm sure
45:22Now what about the money?
45:24He ain't Mr Jolly
45:26I am Jolly
45:28You don't look very Jolly
45:30Look, just because my second name is Jolly
45:33Doesn't mean I have to be Jolly all the fucking time
45:37Here
45:44Let me check out that office
45:54Pastor, Pastor, Pastor, Pastor
45:55Come on, come on, come on
45:56Get me down to the floor you total geek
45:58Come on
46:05Nicholas Parsons
46:06Nicholas Parsons
46:07Nicholas Parsons at Jaime Henderson
46:08Nicholas Parsons is coming here today
46:10Rum
46:11Six pounds forty
46:14Jaime
46:15Jaime, is it true?
46:16Yes it is
46:17Nicholas Parsons is coming here today
46:19But this is a dream come true
46:22Come on
46:23Come on
46:26I know you're excited
46:27But you'll just have to be patient
46:29Patience my bottom
46:30Hit him
46:32Come on
46:34Matthias Rosé
46:36Hill on down
46:37Paul Masson
46:38All the great
46:39This is fantastic
46:40All we have to do
46:41Is hole up here
46:42Wait for Nicholas Parsons to arrive
46:44And then kill him
46:45I beg your pardon
46:46Kill him
46:47Um
46:48No
46:49Oh God
46:50Oh God
46:56If you're Mr Johnny
46:57Where is Nicholas Parsons?
47:00Oh I just killed him
47:02Hold him
47:03You're a liar
47:04Have it your own mind
47:05What is going on?
47:10Oh my God I just killed somebody
47:11Yes
47:12I mean you've just killed somebody
47:14Did I?
47:15Yes
47:16Bloody hell I need a drink
47:17So do I
47:18What do you fancy?
47:19Gin and tonic?
47:20That'll do nicely
47:21Ha ha
47:22Ha ha
47:51No
47:52Deal
47:53Nothing
47:54No
47:55It's
47:56No
47:56I know
47:57It's
47:58No
47:59Kind
48:00Do
48:01I know
48:02That'll do nicely
48:04It's
48:05Yeah
48:06No
48:07We're
48:08How
48:08It's
48:09It's
48:10It's
48:11It's
48:12A
48:13And
48:14It's
48:16It's
48:17And
48:18It's
48:19What?
48:49What the bloody hell did you do that for?
49:19What the bloody hell did you do that for?
49:36What the bloody hell did you do that for?
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