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00:25It's a primary principle of human resource management.
00:28What is?
00:31Pardon?
00:33Individualised incentives inculcate inherent instability.
00:39You've lost me, Gordon.
00:40What I'm saying, Jack, is this Employee of the Month competition is not conducive to good team building.
00:46Pitting one member of staff against another introduces unhealthy competition to an otherwise happy team.
00:52And what for?
00:53A weekend in Paris.
00:55You're missing the point, Jack.
00:56The point is, Gordon, I'm coming in tomorrow afternoon to present the prize, so it's make-your-mind-up time.
01:02Anyway, from what I can tell, the competition's been a big success.
01:05Everyone has been spurred on to greater efforts.
01:08I know you didn't ask for it, but I thought I'd bring you some tea.
01:14Must be thirsty work, making decisions.
01:16That's very kind, Julie.
01:18I know.
01:19And I typed out the contract for the birthday party package.
01:22Right.
01:23Oh, yes.
01:23Now, that was Gavin's idea, wasn't it?
01:25No, not really.
01:26He may have thought of it, but I'm the one who developed it to its present operational status.
01:30Yes, but it's my niece.
01:32Yes, I've added quite a few touches myself, because I'm a hands-on secretary.
01:37Right.
01:38Thank you, Julie.
01:39Do you mind?
01:40I'm trying to be nice to the councillor.
01:42You see, as a mother myself, I think I know what a kiddie wants from a birthday treat, and I
01:48think you'll find councillor...
01:49Hey, I'm the one who's judging the competition.
01:52Oh, forget it, then.
01:58Welcome to Benutton Leisure Centre.
02:00How may I help you?
02:01Carol, en bienvenue à la Leisure Centre de Witt-Purinion-Town.
02:05Comment puis-je-vous aider?
02:07Why are you speaking French, Carol?
02:09Francaise, Madame Britons.
02:10Oh, merda-lors.
02:11There I go again.
02:12I've been learning French for three weeks, and I'm practically bilingual.
02:15I just keep slipping in and out of it.
02:17Comme ci, comme ça.
02:18Oh, there I go again.
02:20You're another one trying to win this weekend in Paris, aren't you?
02:23Oh, incertainment, non.
02:25Oh, I'm trying to improve myself.
02:27I have ambitions, Miss Briss.
02:28I have European aspirations, and I'm doing lingua phonics by night.
02:32You are?
02:33I listen to tapes while I sleep.
02:34Not that I get much sleep with the family Dupont chattering away all the time.
02:38But when I wake up in the morning, I have a completely new vocabulaire.
02:42I see, which could be quite handy on a weekend in Paris.
02:46That's what I thought, Miss Briss, yes.
02:47Well, Carol, you might be learning in your sleep.
02:50But did you know you can also learn from your sleep?
02:53I'm sorry, Miss Briss?
02:54Dreams.
02:55What can we all learn from our dreams that we don't know?
02:59I know, Miss Briss.
03:00Well, I'm holding a dreams workshop tomorrow lunchtime.
03:03Do you think you can come?
03:04Oh, I doubt it, Miss Briss.
03:05During my lunch hour, I usually like to catch 40 winks with Monsieur and Madame Dupont.
03:11You see, Jack, when there are winners, there have to be losers.
03:14And that don't build a good team.
03:15One person wins, flies off to Paris, and I'm left with a team of losers.
03:20Yes, it's a difficult decision.
03:23Well, that's what management is about, Gordon.
03:26Four o'clock tomorrow.
03:26All right.
03:31I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Briss.
03:33There was a major blockage this morning.
03:36I don't want to know, Colin.
03:38There was tons of it, Mr. Briss.
03:39A huge pile.
03:41Colin, I'm trying to eat the biscuit.
03:43And I just had to sit there and wait.
03:45It's so frustrating.
03:47Colin.
03:48I shall be glad when they've finished that construction work near the bypass.
03:51There was a three-mile tailback when that earth mover dumped its load.
03:54Right, I'm with you now, Colin.
03:56What do you want?
03:57Apropos the children's party, Mr. Briss.
03:59The birthday party package.
04:00That's it.
04:01Well, I know that I'm down as Uncle Colin in charge of cloakroom facilities.
04:05Yes.
04:06But I wonder if I might also volunteer myself as Uncle Colin, better known as Mr. Magic.
04:15Sorry?
04:16Mr. Magic, Mr. Briss.
04:18But I can do a few tricks that I think the kiddies might like.
04:21And I've also been working on my wardrobe.
04:22Well, it doesn't show.
04:24You always wear that dreadful cardigan.
04:26No, not my wardrobe, Mr. Briss.
04:27My wardrobe.
04:28My actual wardrobe.
04:30I've converted it into a magic cabinet.
04:33I could do 15 minutes before the birthday party tea.
04:37Right.
04:39Well, we do have a window at 3.03 after the trampolining.
04:44All right, Mr. Magic, you're on.
04:47Thank you, Mr. Briss.
04:48I won't let you down.
04:50Goodbye, Carol.
04:51Oh, what, Mr. Dupont?
04:53Pardon?
04:54Oh, I'm so sorry, Councillor Druggett.
04:57I've been up all night with the Dupont family on the beach.
05:01Councillor Druggett, look, could I have a word?
05:03It's this birthday party package thing, incorporating a number of leisure centre activities.
05:07It was all my idea.
05:09And a very good idea it is, too.
05:10Yes, um, actually, I've got quite a lot of good ideas.
05:14Yes.
05:16Look, a word to the wise.
05:18Council will shortly be considering funding for next year.
05:21There's a very strong lobby in favour of privatisation.
05:24I think they might look favourably on a management buyout submission.
05:28Junior management, of course.
05:29You mean, it would need to be someone with a good idea.
05:33You think I should apply?
05:35I think you know what I mean.
05:38Right.
05:39That's where you've got to, Harry.
05:41Now, come here, you little devil.
05:42Now, don't you go running off again.
05:46Ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:47Don't have happy tickles.
05:50Hello, boys and girls.
05:52I'm Uncle Colin, Mr. Magic.
05:54Hello, Colin.
05:56Are you going to an interview?
05:57The suit?
05:58No, no, I'm rehearsing, Mrs. Brittus.
05:59You what?
06:00I'm building up my spot.
06:01Oh, you don't need to.
06:02It looks like it's about to burst, doesn't it?
06:04No, no.
06:05My routine, my magic act.
06:07I'm doing a few tricks for the children's party tomorrow.
06:10Oh, I see.
06:11Oh, that's nice.
06:12What's this, then, Mrs. Brittus?
06:14Dreams workshop?
06:15Oh, I hope he can come.
06:16Tomorrow could be difficult.
06:18It could change your life.
06:20I've been reading this book by Freud,
06:22The Interpretation of Dreams.
06:23Oh, it's brilliant.
06:25We can all learn so much from our dreams.
06:28Our subconscious needs and desires,
06:31our innermost secrets and fears.
06:33Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
06:35Have I touched the nerve?
06:36No, Mrs. Brittus, you haven't.
06:37It's Harry.
06:38He's on the move again, the little devil.
06:41Gotcha.
06:42Just in time.
06:44What's so, Mrs. Brittus?
06:46Dreams are a door to our inner selves.
06:48In my case, it was a grid.
06:50I'm sorry?
06:51That's what I used to dream about when I was a child.
06:53Night after night, I'd dream about this grid, you know, in the road.
06:57And I used to think, if only I could get down there,
07:00I'd find somewhere nice and safe and warm.
07:03A sort of den, you know,
07:04where me and my imaginary friends could meet and play.
07:08And, you know, the funny thing was,
07:10there was actually a grid outside my house.
07:12You could see it from my bedroom window.
07:15What does it mean, Mrs. Brittus?
07:17It means you're a very sad man, Colin.
07:20Are you serious?
07:21Yes.
07:22Yes, I know.
07:22I think that's what sparked my interest in things subterranean.
07:26Harry!
07:27Harry!
07:27Get away from there!
07:30They're born tunnelers, you know, Mrs. Brittus.
07:35You were saying?
07:37Dreams.
07:38Have you got any other recurring dreams?
07:40I could interpret them for you.
07:41Yeah.
07:42When I was about 14, I used to dream about volleyball.
07:45Women playing volleyball.
07:47But I know what that means.
07:50Aunty Linda's doing the apparatus and trampolining.
07:53Aunty Carol's doing blind man's buff and pass the parcel.
07:56So you can't be Aunty Julie.
07:57I don't need another Aunty.
07:59Well, she's my niece.
08:00I am her real Aunty.
08:02No, you're not.
08:04Not according to my roster, you're not.
08:06Very well, Mr. Brittus.
08:08There doesn't seem to be much interest in my dreams workshop.
08:11Don't worry, my darling.
08:13I'll deal with it at the staff meeting.
08:15I'll inspire them by telling them about my dream.
08:18A dream of a world where leisure pursuits bring peace and harmony.
08:22No, no, not that sort of dream.
08:24Not your vision thing.
08:25No, the sort of dreams we have at night, you know.
08:27Oh, them.
08:28I have some very interesting ones.
08:30Mostly to do with filing procedures.
08:34You'll come, won't you, Julie?
08:35Oh, well, I'm not sure I can, you see.
08:36My sister's bringing Melanie in early
08:38so she can have lunch with her Aunty Julie.
08:40Oh, I know.
08:42Fortunately, I'll have to tell her we're no longer related.
08:45Harry.
08:47Harry.
08:48Have you lost that hamster again?
08:50Yes.
08:51Excusez-moi.
08:52Où sont les Oranges?
08:53I thought he might have gone into the toilet, but no.
08:56The hamsters don't use toilets, do they?
08:57Of course not, Tim.
08:59Well, I think it's disgusting.
09:00Oh, no, Linda.
09:01Be fair.
09:02Not for a hamster.
09:04Anyway, he couldn't lift the seat,
09:06pull the chain or anything.
09:08No, I mean, it's disgusting making animals perform.
09:12They don't perform, Linda.
09:13I do.
09:16What was that?
09:18I was Freddy the Frog.
09:19You mean you've got a frog in there as well?
09:21Oh, yes, yes.
09:23Freddy's standing in for Harry.
09:24It slightly changes the act, but I think it'll work.
09:28Shouldn't be allowed.
09:29The frogs have rights too, you know.
09:31I don't know how you've been set.
09:32After you, Mr. Bretter.
09:33All right, everyone.
09:34Settle down, please.
09:36Settle down.
09:38Okey-dokey.
09:40Dreams Workshop tomorrow lunchtime.
09:42Now, it's purely voluntary,
09:44but everyone must attend.
09:48And I want you all to have a good dream tonight
09:50and bring it in with you tomorrow morning.
09:54Right, any questions, please?
09:56What if I don't have a dream?
09:57Well, just make sure you do, Tim.
09:59Yeah, but what if I don't want to give up my lunch hour?
10:00What if I just don't turn up?
10:02Then you just don't go to Paris.
10:03Well, I'm not bothered about winning the competition.
10:05It's Gavin that's keen, isn't it?
10:07What?
10:07Right, right, right.
10:09This employee of the month competition.
10:11Now, as you all know, I have my reservations about this.
10:14Where there are winners, there have to be losers.
10:17So I'm going to make sure that all those who lose win.
10:22What have you got in your pocket, Colin?
10:25Two canaries, a pint of milk and a crystal ball, Mr. Bretter.
10:30Right.
10:30So, for the runners-up, the lucky losers, a special prize.
10:35A weekend of bonding, barrier-breaking and team building
10:39where I tell you everything I know about the leisure industry.
10:42You must be joking.
10:45Magnificent, Mr. Bretters.
10:46May I be a lucky loser?
10:47I didn't want to be employee of the month anyway.
10:49Don't worry, Colin.
10:50You were never in with a chance.
10:53Thank goodness for that.
10:54Harry!
10:55Harry!
10:56What is it?
10:56I'm sorry, Mr. Bretters.
10:58I thought I saw a hamster between your legs.
11:02Colin, have you taken leave of your senses?
11:04Sit down.
11:09Colin!
11:12I'm sorry, Mr. Bretters.
11:13I've sat on a frog.
11:16I've never heard it called that before.
11:19No, I really have sat on a frog.
11:23Right, Linda.
11:24Show me this enhanced exercise program of yours, please.
11:28Well, Mr. Bretters,
11:28I've increased the output ratio on this machine by 150%.
11:32This means Mr. Thompson gets twice as fit in half the time.
11:41Excellent, Linda.
11:42So, will it help me to win the weekend in Paris?
11:46Linda, there's a much better prize to be won.
11:48Yes.
11:50Mr. Bretters,
11:51are you going to allow Colin to exploit those poor animals?
11:54That business with the frog was the absolute end.
11:56Well, I suppose it was for the frog.
12:00Linda, can you feel this floor shaking?
12:03I'd switch that machine off if I were you.
12:05I think you've got residual reverberation.
12:08Ah-ah.
12:20Helen?
12:23Helen?
12:25Helen, my darling, are you asleep?
12:27Hmm.
12:30I was just wondering what sort of dream I should have.
12:34Well, I'm just going to have my dream now,
12:36and I wanted to clear it with you first.
12:38What are you talking about, Gordon?
12:40Your dreams workshop.
12:42What sort of dream are you looking for?
12:43Oh, just go to sleep.
12:47All right.
12:58I could have the one about filing again.
13:01If that's in a loose channel.
13:02Gordon, if you dream, you dream.
13:04It's all subconscious.
13:05You can't plan your dreams.
13:07I can.
13:09Just dream your dream and then write it down in the morning.
13:12All right, my darling.
13:14Good night.
13:16Good night, Gordon.
13:26Hello.
13:27What?
13:28When you interpret these dreams, I was wondering,
13:31is there any topic I should avoid?
13:34Good night.
13:35It's just I don't want to have a dream that's going to make me look ridiculous,
13:38like the one when I was a haddock.
13:41Please, go to sleep, Gordon.
13:44Will do.
13:59What are you doing?
14:01Sharpening my pencil, ready for the morning.
14:05All right.
14:07Fortunately, my darling, you're married to a man who keeps a pencil sharpener in his bedside cabinet.
14:13Yes.
14:22To be on the safe side, I think I'll stick to the dream about filing procedures.
14:26I couldn't risk being a haddock again.
14:34Julie, where are the admissions figures for the swimming pool, Kat?
14:37How do you expect me to know?
14:38Well, you're the secretary at the moment.
14:40Oh, it's British's filing system.
14:41I just can't fathom it.
14:43Not that I've tried.
14:44Oh, Melanie's really looking forward to the party.
14:47My party?
14:48No, her party.
14:49Well, it's her party in that sense, but it's my concert.
14:52I mean, the birthday party package is all down to me.
14:54Other people are taking all the credit, but if it wasn't for me, Melanie wouldn't be here.
14:59Ooh, that'll be news for me, brother-in-law.
15:02Right.
15:03Checklist.
15:04Flags of all nations.
15:08Four pounds of sausages, Terry the terrapin, billiard balls, Larry the lobster.
15:16Then it's over to you, Monty.
15:19At the given signal, you will appear out of the hat as we rehearsed it.
15:23Now, where did I put Scotty the scorpion?
15:28Mr. British says you should be at the dreams workshop.
15:31Murderer.
15:32Linda, no-one was more upset than I was when Freddie died.
15:35Apart from Freddie, maybe.
15:37I think what you're doing is disgusting.
15:39Not at all.
15:41Oh.
15:42What's the matter?
15:43Sorry, I have a lobster in my trousers.
15:45What?
15:46From now on, to avoid accidents, I'm only working with animals with shells.
15:51Scorpions, lobsters, terrapins.
15:54What about the rabbit?
15:56Monty is not the rabbit.
15:58He is a colleague, a personal friend.
16:01Monty and I have known each other ever since he was a little rabbit, a bunny rabbit.
16:06Our destinies are linked.
16:17Friend, go free.
16:31So, Tim, what happened next in your dream?
16:33Well, then, I'm running along a beach and everything goes into slow motion.
16:37That's chariots of fire, Tim.
16:39No, no, it wasn't like that at all.
16:41I'll think you find it was, Tim.
16:42I've seen it six times.
16:44Carry on, my darling.
16:46Really interesting.
16:47Tim, it seems to me that you're pursuing something, a goal, maybe, that's retreating.
16:54Music by Vangelis.
16:55Da, da, da, da, da.
16:57Hold on.
16:59Sorry, my angel.
17:01I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Brittus.
17:02I'm sorry I'm late, and this is Brittus.
17:04Were you late too, Mr. Brittus?
17:07Sit down, Colin.
17:09I'll stand, if I may, Mr. Brittus.
17:10I have a lobster in my trousers.
17:13Why?
17:13Yeah, I'm afraid I can't reveal that, Julie.
17:16Secrets of the magic circle.
17:17Does anyone else have a dream they'd like to share with us?
17:20Carol?
17:21Well, I was in Paris, walking down the Champs-Elysées with the family Dupont.
17:27So, I don't know if it was a dream or lesson 32.
17:30Well, tell us what you saw.
17:32I saw the Eiffel Tower, and it grew bigger.
17:36And bigger, and bigger.
17:40Yeah, I can't see what that means.
17:43Gordon, any fool knows what that means.
17:46Can I tell you about my dream?
17:47Far away, Colin.
17:48Gordon, please.
17:50Sorry.
17:51Yes, Colin?
17:52I was just outside Hartlepool, and I discovered an Anglo-Saxon settlement.
17:58In amongst the pottery and trinkets was my best find.
18:02An Anglo-Saxon stool, completely intact.
18:05Good, good.
18:07Well, describe it.
18:08How many legs did it have, and what was it made of?
18:12It didn't have any legs, Mrs. Brittus.
18:14It wasn't that kind of stool.
18:19And it was just made of, well, the usual stuff.
18:24OK, who wants a hat?
18:25There you go.
18:26You're going, all right, all right, all right.
18:28There's a cone.
18:28I'm afraid the contract clearly states that the birthday party package is for eight children,
18:32and you've brought ten.
18:34Oh, yes, I know.
18:35It was just, Samantha wouldn't come without her sister,
18:37and then the little girl from over the road turned up and...
18:39Well, they can't join in any of the activities.
18:43You can't do that.
18:44It's a children's party.
18:45It was my niece's party.
18:47All right, Julie, as a concession, I'm prepared to exclude two children on a rota basis.
18:56I'm sorry, you're not allowed to watch this.
18:59I didn't wear the banana wear.
19:01You ate it!
19:03Yes, you ate it!
19:05No, I didn't, I didn't.
19:06No, no banana there.
19:09You just swallowed it!
19:11Yes, you swallowed it!
19:12No, no, it's magic!
19:15Now, for my next trick, I need a volunteer, not you.
19:22You're not allowed to look at this.
19:25My magic cabinet is here.
19:26It can make you disappear.
19:29Who would like to give it a whirl?
19:31How's about the birthday girl?
19:34Come along then, Melody.
19:38Go through the doors at the back.
19:40There's a secret compartment.
19:41Stay in there.
19:43Now, boys and girls, what's the magic word?
19:46Close!
19:47No, not that magic.
19:49Please, it is a magic word, but in actual fact, the magic word we're looking for is abracadabra.
19:55So, after three, we'll all shout abracadabra.
19:59One, two, three...
20:02Abra-cadabra!
20:08Now, I wonder where the birthday girl's gone, not a word, you.
20:14Let's see if we can bring her back again.
20:16Let's try abracadabra again.
20:18Okay, Melody, you can come out now.
20:20One, two, three...
20:23Abra-cadabra!
20:26Ta-da!
20:29Maybe we didn't shout it loud enough.
20:32Let's try it again.
20:34Come on, Melody, there's a good girl.
20:36One, two, three...
20:38Abra-cadabra!
20:47Abra-cadabra!
20:49Abra-cadabra!
20:51Abra-cadabra!
20:52Abra-cadabra!
20:53Abra-cadabra!
20:55Abra-cadabra!
20:56Shut up!
20:57I can't see she's disappeared!
21:01Well, where is she, then?
21:03I'm not exactly sure, Mr Fazakley.
21:05She was enjoying the party very much.
21:08Up until she disappeared.
21:10Do you think maybe I have actually got a bunch of powers?
21:15Don't be stupid!
21:17Don't adopt that tone with Uncle Colleen.
21:20You're not exactly in a position to criticise, are you?
21:22Even if a child has been mislaid, you're still one over the odds.
21:27Mind you, it's good news for Samantha's sister.
21:30Gavin, put it out for birthday cake.
21:32Oh, sod this, we've got to find her.
21:34Gavin, you take the squash calls in the dance studio.
21:36Julie, Julie, Julie!
21:38Uh, Carter, Rog, you come with me.
21:40It'll be all right, I promise.
21:41Julie, haven't you forgotten something?
21:43Procedure 47B?
21:45Lost property.
21:46Strategy for location and recovery thereof, Mr Biggerson.
21:49Exactly, Colin.
21:50She's going about it in all the wrong way.
21:52Let's start at the very beginning.
21:54That's a very good place to start.
21:57I hope they still like the cake.
21:58I mean, I spent a lot of time...
21:59Oh, will you shut up about the cake?
22:02Birthday party package wasn't all my idea, you know.
22:04Yes, it was.
22:05No, not entirely.
22:06Yes, it was.
22:07You said it was a good idea.
22:08Well, it is a good idea in principle,
22:10but my idea was to have the birthday party first and then...
22:12Lose the guest of honour?
22:13No, no, no.
22:15Wait a minute, Colin.
22:16Oh, no!
22:18Monty's disappeared as well!
22:20Colin!
22:29Pass me a rope, please, Colin.
22:33Shall I let you down, Mr Britus?
22:35I think you already have, Colin.
22:39Have you got any other children?
22:41Because I always think that helps.
22:44I know when I lose one of mine, I always think,
22:47oh, well, not to worry.
22:48I've got three more at home.
22:52I'm going to thump you in a minute.
23:00This is very strange.
23:02It certainly is.
23:03It reminds me of a dream I used to have as a child.
23:06I used to go down this grill and there'd be this underground world.
23:10Yeah, it is like a dream.
23:12A bad one.
23:14Maybe that's what it actually is, Mr Britus.
23:17Maybe one of us is dreaming.
23:19Sorry?
23:21Well, is it you or is it me?
23:24What?
23:25Can you see any women volleyball players?
23:28Well, of course I can't.
23:31Then it's your dream.
23:32And I say it's an honour to be in it, Mr Britus.
23:35Shut up, Colin.
23:40Colin, there's a hamster by your foot.
23:43Thank you, Mr Britus.
23:44You're dreaming about Harry for me.
23:46No, I'm not dreaming.
23:47There's a hamster by your foot to pick it up.
23:52Mr Britus, you don't think...
23:54No.
23:54They're born tunnelers, you know.
23:56It's a bit ambitious, Colin.
23:58Even for Harry.
23:59Look, Mr Britus.
24:01There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
24:03Yes, Colin, it usually is.
24:07Afternoon, Carol.
24:09Oh, welcome to Harry.
24:13What's going on?
24:14Apparently we've lost a child.
24:16Nous avons père d'oeuf ou un enfant.
24:19Business as usual, then.
24:27Oh, I wonder what's in here.
24:30It'll be a den.
24:34Are you the surveyors?
24:36We're miles off course, you know.
24:38I said to Tommy the other day,
24:39this is never the way to Bristol.
24:40I blame the site foreman.
24:42He said to Mick, just follow your nose.
24:44Have you seen Mick's nose?
24:47What are you doing here?
24:48We're building the Bristol spore
24:50to the Channel Tunnel.
24:52Are you responsible for the hole
24:53in my leisure centre?
24:55Very probably.
24:56It's a ventilation shaft,
24:57but it's in the wrong place.
24:59We should have turned left at the bypass.
25:01It's Monty, isn't it?
25:02No, it's Donald.
25:04Monty's down the tunnel
25:04walking on the railway line,
25:06now that the Eurostar's gone through.
25:07No, no, no, this is Monty, my rabbit.
25:10Colin, never mind your rabbit.
25:12Have you seen a little girl down here?
25:15No, sir.
25:15It's an entirely male workforce.
25:17No, I mean a little girl.
25:20Seven, eight years old.
25:21Eight today, actually, Mr Bridus?
25:22Good heavens, no.
25:24They'd never imply an age-year-old girl.
25:27She wouldn't be able to lift a shovel.
25:29Come on, Colin, we're getting nowhere.
25:31Oh, yes, we are.
25:32We're getting to Bristol.
25:34It's just that we're taking the scenic route.
25:37Just go away, will you?
25:38Go and counsel someone else.
25:40But Julie, this is a big chance for me.
25:41I've read the whole chapter on bereavement.
25:43I am.
25:44I'm going to thump you as well in a minute.
25:46Calm down.
25:48You've had a bad enough day as it is.
25:49You don't want a broken arm to go with it.
25:51All I'm saying is,
25:52would you put in a good word about the cake?
25:54That's all.
25:58Hello?
26:00Sorry?
26:01Are you drunk or something?
26:04Oh, he's French.
26:07Yes?
26:09No, I'm afraid my bilingual receptionist is unconscious at the moment,
26:13but I do speak a little French myself.
26:18How can I help you?
26:22You're the manager.
26:25Really?
26:27Excellent.
26:28Come on, Charlie.
26:29I mean, there was nothing in that cake with shop, boss,
26:31because of proper good Victoria's Bundy.
26:33All right, everyone, calm down, please.
26:35Calm down, everyone.
26:36Mrs. Fazzackley, dry those tears.
26:38I've found your daughter.
26:40Where is she?
26:41Well, I say found her.
26:42I have located her.
26:44Where is she?
26:44At this present moment in time,
26:46she's somewhere underneath the English Channel,
26:48hurtling towards France on a Eurostar.
26:51What's she doing on that?
26:52Playing I Spy with a driver, apparently.
26:54They've got stuck on T for tunnel.
26:56Nah.
26:57How did she get on a train?
26:59Illegally.
27:00I think the phrase is,
27:02she jumped a freight.
27:03You're going to go and have to pick her up.
27:05Right, Councillor Druggett,
27:07Employee of the Month competition.
27:09The prize is a weekend in Paris.
27:12We'll take those.
27:13And I'm going to sue you.
27:16Councillor, if I were you,
27:18I'd close this place down.
27:20Oh, these people here.
27:21They're a bunch of useless,
27:25sad incompetents.
27:30That's gratitude for you.
27:32Right, where were we?
27:34Employee of the Month competition.
27:35The prize this month goes to...
27:37He's just taken it.
27:38It doesn't matter.
27:39The prize this month...
27:40There is no prize.
27:42Exactly.
27:43The prize this month goes to...
27:46Nobody.
27:48Because it will be invidious
27:50to single out any one of my
27:52excellent, hard-working members of staff.
27:54Oh.
27:55Don't be upset, Colin.
27:57Oh.
27:57Don't be disappointed, Colin.
28:00I told you,
28:01you were never in with a chance.
28:03It's not that, Mr. Pitters.
28:05I think I've just found
28:06Scotty the Scorpion.
28:08No.
28:09No.
28:20No.
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