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00:00Good evening and welcome to the charity gala premiere performance of the new motion picture
00:25glc well as you can see it's uh certainly a glittering night for the stars here tonight on
00:32this warm evening here in the heart of london's west end earlier on this evening i spoke to one
00:38of the stars of glc charles bronson who plays the part of ken livingston there's a story about
00:44an ordinary guy whose wife and family gets wiped out by these creeps so naturally he has to follow
00:53them and and wipe them out one at a time in a in a prolonged and very cruel way i see thank you
01:00and and uh well what next for bronson well uh we'll get a new twist next time we're doing a film about
01:09a guy who's uh his wife and family aren't wiped out but who who decides to go after creeps just the
01:16same thank you very much mr bronson thank you thank you alec god bless you we've just heard that
01:21ms share has arrived with the usual phalanx of highly trained bodyguards ms share ms share
01:28uh excuse me ms share um i'm from the bbc might i have a few words with you
01:33well sure uh perhaps a little nervous there obviously rather worried about what the reaction
01:41is going to be to this highly controversial new film in which she stars as joan ruddock
01:47but now it's time for us to see what you at home think while we take a sneak preview of the exciting
01:52new motion picture glc
01:54so
01:59so
02:01so
02:06so
02:08so
02:12so
02:16you've never had it so good and thanks to the tories every home has a color tv
02:45and the shops are full of potatoes we're the caring party yes we are so vote for me vote for horace
02:59vote for free enterprise free petrol
03:04so
03:06so
03:07so
03:17so
03:18so
03:19so
03:20so
03:22so
03:24so
03:26so
03:28Hey, kids, kids, kids. Hey, take it easy. What's going on here now? Cool it, cool it.
03:39Get your hands off that child.
03:41Mommy, mommy.
03:43Who are you? What are you doing here?
03:47Isn't it a little late to be leaving your children on their own?
03:51I'm a single mother. I got no choice.
03:55Somebody's got to stop those cruise missiles, otherwise none of these kids got a future.
04:00Babies, not bombs. Makes sense.
04:04So vote for me. Vote for Horace. Vote for free gifts. Free drinks.
04:14Listen to me. This city's falling apart.
04:19And what's this guy done to help us over the last ten years? Nothing.
04:22Well said. Communist rubbish.
04:26Look, isn't there anyone amongst you who's going to take home these fat cats?
04:35Who are you?
04:37I'm Ken Livingstone. I live upstairs.
04:39Not Dr. Livingstone, I presume.
04:42No, I'm not a doctor. Well, not in a medical sense.
04:46It was a joke.
04:51A joke.
04:53So who are you?
04:54Joan Ruddock, CND.
04:57Pleased to meet you, Joan.
05:01Horace is running for the leadership of the GLC again.
05:03You're the only man who can take him on and win.
05:06No, no. Not me.
05:09I'm through with committees and long sessions and procedure.
05:11This is my life now.
05:16This old river gives me everything I need.
05:19You better find yourself another man.
05:22Or a woman.
05:24But what if I told you that Horace is going to flood the whole of South London?
05:27He's going to turn it into marina.
05:28County Hall's going to be a yacht club.
05:30He can't do that. He's crazy.
05:32It's the Ice Maiden's idea.
05:33He'll go through with it, all right?
05:36Besides, who's going to stop him?
05:38You better find yourself.
06:07Look to the left and to the right
06:12We have nobodies in sight
06:16Where is the man that we all need?
06:21We're telling him to come and rescue me
06:24So turn, turn, turn now
06:28So turn, turn, turn now
06:32Who cares the man that we all need?
06:36Who cares the man that we all need?
06:42You've done it, Ken. You've won.
06:45You're the new leader of the GLC.
06:47The results for the GLC election are as follows.
06:52Kenneth John Livingston, Labour, 9,549,602.
07:00Screaming Anthony Lord Such, monster raving loony party, 814 votes.
07:07Sir Horace, Conservative, 65 votes.
07:18Mrs. Thatcher will see you now, Sir Horace.
07:21You lost.
07:33Yes.
07:35I'm sorry, Mrs. Thatcher. I really am.
07:40I can paint hard.
07:43I did all I could to hold on to the marginals.
07:47I really did.
07:48I'm sorry.
07:51I'm very, very sorry.
07:53Come here.
08:05Of course you've worked hard.
08:07And of course you're tired and old and useless.
08:12Yes.
08:13I need to change.
08:15Of course you do.
08:17And you know what I'm going to do?
08:19I'm going to change your face.
08:25This is the Greater London Council.
08:28I'm so sorry.
08:29The council are in session.
08:30Who the hell are you?
08:36I'm the new leader to the GLC.
08:38Oh, wonderful.
08:39Come on in.
08:39Have a drink.
08:40Have a piece of cake.
08:42You know what I mean.
08:43Party's over.
08:44Put your clothes on, honey, and go home.
08:45You can't do this.
08:47You know who I am.
08:48I'm the Lord Mayor of London.
08:50Was.
08:51Look at the hell out of Cuddy Hall.
08:53You won't get away with this.
08:54I'll get you for this, you working-class scum.
08:59I'll hunt you down.
09:00You'll see.
09:03Sly, how are you making speeches?
09:05Well, I've never really...
09:07Start practicing.
09:11You're the new Lord Mayor.
09:14Oh, well, thank you.
09:17Okay.
09:18Those of you that don't know, my name's Ken Livingstone.
09:21I'm looking for councillors who ain't afraid to get their hands a little dirty.
09:26You, what do you do?
09:27London Transport, trains and buses, sir.
09:29Half the fares, old people travel for free.
09:31Sorry, sir.
09:32You heard me.
09:32Yes, sir.
09:33Joan, go to the bank, borrow some money for CND.
09:36I want those cruise missiles out by Christmas.
09:39Sure, Ken.
09:40You, I want you to take care of the black minorities.
09:44Set up theatres, sports centres, recreational grounds.
09:46Yes, sir.
09:47And equalize some women.
09:49You, start a new movement.
09:51Call it gay pride.
09:53Let's get those gays out of the closet.
09:55Oh, yes, sir.
09:56All right, let's move it up.
09:58Come on, let's shake this city up.
10:02Anybody want a lift?
10:04Something I can do for you, mister?
10:23What if I smoke?
10:26Suppose when you tell me who you are.
10:27My name is Ben.
10:30Tony Ben.
10:32Tony Ben.
10:33Well, I'll be damned.
10:36They say you were something of a firebrand in your time.
10:38That's what they say.
10:42So you in on this then, Ben?
10:46Maybe.
10:47What the hell is that supposed to mean?
10:49What the hell is that supposed to mean?
10:49You're doing this all wrong.
10:51If you're going to win, you need the support of the party.
10:54Screw the party.
10:55I'm doing this my way.
10:57I knew a guy like you once.
10:59He was a minister in the house.
11:03He didn't know what fear was until he saw the ice maiden.
11:06Then one day, he tried to take her on.
11:13Just like you're doing now.
11:15So what happened?
11:16This.
11:20Well, I'm sorry about your chest, Tony.
11:22But this is one red that ain't staying under the bed.
11:27Bulls!
11:28He's turning this city upside down and you are doing nothing!
11:32Stop him!
11:33Get rid of him!
11:34Come, he's much too popular!
11:36Then get rid of the GLC!
11:38Kill Livingston!
11:40Kill him!
11:41Kill him!
11:45Yeah, we'll double the race in the rich areas.
11:47Yeah.
11:48And I want some clamping to start around here.
11:54Joan, you look terrific.
11:57You forgot.
11:58What?
11:59Our dinner date this evening.
12:01Oh, that.
12:02Well, you see, I'm having a barrier build across the tent.
12:06I have to go and check that they put it in the right place.
12:08So, you see...
12:09So, dinner's off.
12:11I'm sorry, Joan.
12:13I need this barrier.
12:15I need to keep the sea out.
12:17No, that's okay.
12:18I ain't hungry anyways already.
12:20Go play with your damn.
12:22I'll eat alone.
12:23Joan?
12:25Joan?
12:26Joan?
12:28Joan!
12:29Go ahead, dear Livingston, you're laughing shit!
12:37Excuse me, Mr Livingston, but what colour would you like it painted?
12:40You wanted blush red, didn't you, Harry?
12:42No, marine blue, I told you.
12:43No, it's got to be lagoon blue, isn't it?
12:45Otherwise, how are you going to see it in the dark?
12:48I'm sorry, guys.
12:48I can't make your colour decisions for you.
12:51You'll have to handle it yourselves.
12:55Sable grey?
12:56Crazy colour-blind fuck.
12:58Have you ever seen sable grey when it's dry?
13:00I love your pretty barrier, Ken.
13:13What the hell are you doing here?
13:14I want my gold chain back.
13:16Yes, that was mighty unconstitutional of you, Ken.
13:21Have you met the boys, Ken?
13:22This is Alderman Crazy James Fairchild
13:24and his half-brother, Giles Cricketbat, Portland.
13:27Just get the hell off my barrier.
13:31But we paid our rates, too, don't we, crazy?
13:34Yes, it's our damn jam, too, you know.
13:36Get it?
13:38Damn, damn!
13:43You're building any hospitals, Ken?
13:45Because you're going to need one real soon.
13:47Oh, come on, darling.
14:08Let me steal this moment from you now.
14:13Come on, angel, come on, come on, darling
14:17Let's exchange the experience
14:21Can I join you?
14:37Sure.
14:43I like what you're doing to Cruz.
14:50Are you trying to pick me up?
14:53No.
14:54Well, try.
14:55What have you got to lose?
14:58No.
15:05No.
15:06No.
15:08No.
15:09No.
15:10No.
15:11No.
15:12No.
15:13Stop it.
15:15No.
15:16No.
15:17Stop it.
15:18No.
15:19Stop it.
15:22No.
15:23No.
15:24Stop it.
15:25No.
15:26No.
15:27Stop it.
15:29No.
15:30No.
15:31No.
15:32No.
15:33No.
15:34No.
15:35No.
15:36No.
15:37No.
15:39No.
15:40No.
15:41What are you staring at?
15:45Are you in love with him, Mommy?
15:48Yes. No.
15:50I don't know.
15:52Look, I'm just trying to save his life, God damn it.
15:54Get me some brandy.
15:59What are you trying to do? Kill me?
16:05How are we getting in you, Daddy?
16:08I don't know, but it looks real friendly.
16:11You've always been alone.
16:16You mean, why have I never married?
16:19I guess so.
16:21Well, you know the old saying,
16:24a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
16:28I guess you just never met the right bicycle.
16:32Maybe.
16:34What does he say?
16:36We're getting a new bicycle.
16:41I knew this would happen, and it's getting worse.
16:44Why? What's happened?
16:46She's banned the GLC.
16:48Why?
16:50Because he's too wild and too popular.
16:52Huh. Too handsome, you mean.
16:55Maybe.
16:56Who's too handsome?
16:57You are.
16:58Where are you going?
17:00I've got to see the one man who can help us.
17:06What's he talking about?
17:08Well, if I was as wild and handsome as Ken,
17:12which I'm not,
17:14but if I was,
17:16there's one person I'd want to see.
17:18Who's that?
17:19The Prince of Wales.
17:26A little sprinkle.
17:31O-dee-dee.
17:38Let's grow plums.
17:41That's interesting.
17:43Ever seen this one before?
17:45Try Chapter 10, sir.
17:47Growing plums in a clay soil.
17:50It's a good read.
17:52Yes, thank you.
17:53I will.
17:55Who are you?
17:57Your Majesty.
17:58My name's Ken.
17:59I've got to talk to you.
18:00Charlie?
18:01Charlie?
18:02Charlie?
18:04Come on, you mad money.
18:06Come on, you potty prince.
18:08Charlie!
18:08Time for your special bickies.
18:11Hey!
18:12Loobie!
18:13Where are you?
18:14I'm just coming.
18:15Listen.
18:16Your people need you.
18:17Oh, do they?
18:18Have you any idea what's happening in your kingdom?
18:20The Ice Maiden's trying to destroy it,
18:22and you're the only person who can stop her.
18:24But, you see,
18:25I have to remain impartial.
18:27It's very important for democracy.
18:30Take a look over that wall
18:31and see how impartial you feel then, sir.
18:33What are you doing up that ladder,
18:44you constitutional crappot, you?
18:46I want one of those recorder things
18:48so that I can make a speech on the wireless.
18:51It ain't even Christmas time yet, Loobie.
18:53Yeah, so get down off the ladder
18:54and come and have one of your special bickies,
18:56you raw nutcase you are.
18:57No!
19:00Good evening.
19:02It is my sad duty to have to inform you
19:05that our beloved Prince of Wales,
19:08whom all of you know has been unwell for some time,
19:12is unlikely ever to appear in public again.
19:15Of course,
19:18his head will remain on the money
19:19and on the stamps,
19:21but not on his shoulders.
19:25You can wipe that bit.
19:28I can assure you
19:30he is receiving the very best medical attention
19:34from my own personal surgeon.
19:41It's midnight, Charlie.
19:43Only six more hours to go.
19:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
20:15I brought you some hot coffee. Black with three sugars, wasn't it?
20:24You remember?
20:25I remember a lot of things.
20:28I remember a time when you would have been out there doing what Ken's doing right now.
20:32Maybe.
20:34Two parts pee to one part sand.
20:37Now that's interesting.
20:45I'd finish that book later if I were you, sir.
21:07Hold on tight. It's a long way down.
21:15Well, I'm going to make you into a hamburger.
21:23Fools, traitors, you let him go!
21:31Look after him, please.
21:43Take a look.
21:45I count twenty.
21:49Over there.
21:50Holy shit.
21:53And over there.
21:59Looks like this is it, Tony.
22:02And don't say maybe.
22:04Why not?
22:05You say it all the time. It's all you ever say.
22:08Maybe.
22:09See there, you said it again.
22:12Did I?
22:12Yeah.
22:15Maybe.
22:20Send out Cam Livingston and no one will get hurt.
22:23We only want Cam Livingston.
22:25That's all we're here for.
22:26Cam Livingston.
22:27Well, you heard what the man said.
22:34What do you want to do?
22:36Actually, I wouldn't mind actually staying to fight, but it's just I'm a family man.
22:41And I mean, really, I don't...
22:42Yeah, okay.
22:43Go to your family, Roy.
22:46Good luck, everyone.
22:52Anyone else?
22:54What about you, Kinnock?
22:55Uh, well, I...
22:58I think we want to take a vote on it.
23:01Don't you?
23:02If voting changed anything, they'd abolish it.
23:05Oh, I agree.
23:07I agree.
23:07But I think, uh...
23:08I think my time would be better served if I, uh...
23:11use my influence in the House of Commons.
23:14Yeah.
23:15Like you did in the abolition debate?
23:17I, I, I...
23:18I...
23:19I really don't know what you mean.
23:26I've been wanting that for a long time.
23:30What about you alternative comedians?
23:33You're pretty hot at the benefits.
23:34How are you in a shootout?
23:37Well, actually, I've got a voice over at five.
23:40We're doing lunch with Michael Grades.
23:41Yeah, Grouches.
23:42Um, yeah, sorry, Kinn.
23:43I'm opening a supermarket.
23:49Plums be cold and moist.
23:51There be two sorts of them.
23:53Black and real.
23:55What about you, Scargill?
23:56You've got a voice over at five o'clock?
24:00Just give me a gun.
24:08What about you, McGacky?
24:10I'm in.
24:12I'm in.
24:14I'm in.
24:18Hatton?
24:20Hatton?
24:21He's at Springfellow's.
24:23Is that everybody?
24:25I'm staying.
24:28No, Joe, not you.
24:29Oh, yeah?
24:30What about sexual equality?
24:32There's nothing sexy about one of these, Joe.
24:34I ain't going, Ken.
24:39I ain't going, Ken.
24:41Okay.
24:47Right.
24:49Let's get shooting.
24:50Oh, yeah.
25:04Oh, yeah.
25:10Oh, by this is still there.
25:11Oh, my God.
25:12Oh, yeah.
25:12Oh, my God.
25:14Oh, my God.
25:15Oh, yeah.
25:15Oh, my God.
25:16Oh, my God.
25:17Go on.
25:18Oh, my God.
25:18They have virtue to smooth and polishy bowels.
25:40What do you think?
25:42Same as you.
25:48What the hell are you doing?
25:54I'm going to speak to them like you said I should.
25:59British people haven't killed a monarch in 300 years.
26:03Doesn't mean they won't start now.
26:06One has a duty.
26:14I don't care if your blood's blue or not.
26:16But it sure ain't yellow.
26:42It's got the great soil oils!
26:46I was reminded, on my way to County Hall, of that very amusing sketch by the goons, in
27:01which Bluebottle, dressed as an Eccles cake and singing yin-tong-gid-lai-po, falls backwards
27:09into a vat of the Queen's household custard.
27:15And that's very much how I feel today, looking down on these superb weapons, trained on oneself.
27:32And that was funny.
27:33I don't get it.
27:34Looks like the kid has done it.
27:35It is therefore my profound hope that the power of this country should rest with the people,
27:39and not with a woman, whom one suspects is not of this earth.
27:44And now, it gives me very great pleasure to present to you the man who's done the most to save this great city of ours.
27:59I give you the leader of the GLC, Mr. Ken Livingstone.
28:06You better get out there.
28:07Couldn't have done it without you, Ben.
28:08Get out there.
28:09You're the handsome one.
28:13You're the handsome one.
28:24You're the handsome one.
28:28Oh, my God.
28:58Oh, my God.
29:28Oh, my God.
29:58Is she gone?
30:07Oh, my God.
30:37A tissue, a tissue, we are up for now.
30:53Oh, my God.
30:57Oh, my God.
31:07WINDOW-CHAWAY!
31:09AHHHHH!!!
31:10AHHHHH!!!
31:20Kid is the man that we all need
31:24Kid is the leader of the TOC
31:30What is the man we all need?!
31:32Hey, who the fuck is that this machine?
31:37Hey, who is near to your day?
31:41Hey, who is near to your day?
31:45Hey, who have love?
31:50We're all in, we're all out
31:53Hey, can't you see?
31:57We need a
31:59Dun-dun-dun-dun
32:05Dun-dun-dun
32:10Can't you see?
32:13Can't you see?
32:29Dun-dun-dun
32:42In
32:43Dun-dun-dun
32:44Dun-dun-dun
32:46aquelthe
32:47ilty
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