- 3 months ago
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00:00:00Since the beginning of time, man has looked to the stars and wondered if others like ourselves
00:00:17existed. Would they be super intelligent, peaceful, sensitive? Our story will go some
00:00:26way to answering these eternal questions.
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00:03:08Keep space tidy, thank you.
00:03:13Keep space tidy, thank you.
00:03:16Keep space tidy, thank you.
00:03:26Mission successfully completed.
00:03:29We repeat.
00:03:30Trailblazer Desmond Brock has safely returned to Space Podule Exxon Mark IV.
00:03:35Mission successfully completed.
00:03:38We repeat, repeat, repeat.
00:03:41Well?
00:03:42Well, what?
00:03:43Was it there?
00:03:44No, it wasn't.
00:03:45Now we're really inconvenienced.
00:03:47They're blue with silver nipples and there's a long piece of...
00:03:50Yes, I know what a fuse looks like.
00:03:52We're lost in space.
00:03:54Lost?
00:03:55We're not lost.
00:03:57Well, where are we then, Bernard?
00:03:58That's what I'd like to know.
00:04:00Now, there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
00:04:04Right, Julian?
00:04:06This is just like space crews to nowhere.
00:04:08No, it is not.
00:04:09They drifted for days.
00:04:10Years in the end.
00:04:11Oh, for heaven's sake.
00:04:13All we have to do is put out an emergency repair cord somehow.
00:04:18Drifting.
00:04:19Drifting.
00:04:20They all turned into skeletons in the end, of course.
00:04:23Ah!
00:04:24Yes, there we are.
00:04:25With little bits of floppy skin hanging off.
00:04:28There.
00:04:29Lovely spot.
00:04:30Right, come on.
00:04:31Chop, chop.
00:04:32Spaceball, anyone?
00:04:34Beautiful, isn't it?
00:04:43Where are we then?
00:04:46Ah, well, this is technically what we call deep space.
00:04:49Well, it's technically what I'd call sod off.
00:04:52Oh, look, come on.
00:04:53Cheer up, everyone.
00:04:54We are 15 million light years from the nearest space route.
00:04:56There is no intelligent life around here anywhere.
00:05:03So, a happy ending for one man and his dog.
00:05:06This is Alistair Forbes, wishing you a very good evening.
00:05:09And remember, we'll be back with an update in two hours, at midnight.
00:05:16That's the one.
00:05:17That's it, everybody.
00:05:18Back in two hours.
00:05:21That's the one, two hours.
00:05:23Hang about.
00:05:26Oh.
00:05:29Uh, Graham.
00:05:30Uh, yeah.
00:05:31Uh, Mr. McKenzie and me have got an important rendezvous with, uh, contact.
00:05:35A big story, I guess.
00:05:36It could be, it could be.
00:05:37So, you look after the phones.
00:05:39Sure, yeah.
00:05:42If the Third World War breaks out, just make a note of it, will you?
00:05:45Yeah, yeah.
00:05:46You can rely on me.
00:05:47Have a good meeting.
00:05:52Spaceballs must not be kicked out of the recreation area.
00:05:56Spaceballs must not be kicked out of the recreation area.
00:06:02Oh, look at them.
00:06:10How embarrassing.
00:06:15Put on the furniture.
00:06:16Hello?
00:06:17What?
00:06:18What?
00:06:19What?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21What?
00:06:22That's my dad.
00:06:23Oh, look.
00:06:24What?
00:06:25Water.
00:06:26Desmond.
00:06:29Oh, look.
00:06:30Oh, look.
00:06:31Oh, look.
00:06:33I'll see you later.
00:06:34Oh, look.
00:06:36Oh, look.
00:06:37Oh, look.
00:06:38Ah!
00:06:39Oh, look.
00:06:40Oh, look.
00:06:41Oh, look.
00:06:42really don't play with it you don't know how to work it
00:06:51desmond put it back where it was
00:07:12well where are we going that's what i'd like to know somewhere i can get a drink hopefully
00:07:19what about bernard what about bernard des well he's happy
00:07:23how do you stop these things
00:07:27we're gonna hit it we're gonna hit it
00:07:30we're going too far
00:07:34i am just a boy from tennessee
00:07:42and music always was my life just made the words
00:07:48i can play
00:07:49i mix them with a little tennessee
00:07:54watch that free boy
00:07:59i got one i got one i got a spaceship
00:08:10i got a spaceship
00:08:14they're coming from outer space they're coming
00:08:17they're gonna enter our atmosphere
00:08:20we have a target we have a target
00:08:32we have a target we have a target
00:08:44impact 50 seconds including if the ocean is targeted
00:08:49give me the indian ocean
00:09:05i am locating sir
00:09:08give me an ocean coming up sir
00:09:09where's the man doing
00:09:10where's the man doing
00:09:12that die
00:09:27a
00:09:27Oh, my God.
00:09:57What is it? Good grief!
00:10:00Get off the motorway!
00:10:03But it's still following us!
00:10:07Don't look behind you!
00:10:24It shouldn't be allowed. It's madness!
00:10:27Oh, that. Did you get his number?
00:10:32No.
00:10:35I think he was Belgian.
00:10:36No!
00:10:38Oh, my God.
00:11:08Uh, hello, love. Just reporting a bit of congestion between exits 8 and, say, 23.
00:11:23Uh, looks like a spaceship of some description. Over.
00:11:27Shall I put the cones out, Sarge?
00:11:30Yeah, might as well.
00:11:38Hello?
00:11:42Just, just, just hold on, hold on a minute. Just a minute. Can you hold for just a minute?
00:11:46Can you, can you hold for just, can you, can you hold for just a minute?
00:11:50Hello? Hello?
00:11:51can you hold for just a minute please hold on just a minute please hold on can you yes what
00:11:58and the government has no intention at this stage to change immigration laws
00:12:05not only would we consider it to be totally red phone minister ah
00:12:10excuse me yes oh is there a commander matterson here yes oh it's for you
00:12:25oh hello no no no not very aliens what do you mean aliens what do you mean from another planet
00:12:40yes it's a tricky one isn't it mm-hmm well if they're still alive don't let them out of their
00:12:44flying saucer we don't want a lot of little green men tellurizing the home counties during
00:12:49ask at week do we hmm yes all right full emergency come on a madison yes all right
00:13:00I'll try to join you for coffee in the library
00:13:10I want the press kept out of this
00:13:22I'm fresh
00:13:50blah blah blah blah blah hold the front page blah blah shut up look at this office look at it
00:13:56sorry end of a chinese mill the biggest story since adam and eve got evicted and where were you all
00:14:02in the pub with you stanley yes so who have we got on the spot hey I'll tell you no one wait a
00:14:11minute stanley what's that mr benson an alien spaceship has landed on the m1 taken camera unit to cover
00:14:23everything under control well at least someone here knows what's going on someone who can can seize the
00:14:31moment by the horns as it rises who is it hey grand sweetly oh my god aliens have landed on god idiot
00:14:41running around the country with my camera unit wait a minute stanley we don't even know if it was an alien
00:14:45spaceship yet listen i've been in television for over 40 years and i can recognize the inexplicable and
00:14:52unknown when i see it all right everybody all right you lot let's make television your time has come you
00:15:04smart bastard the aliens here we're all going to die
00:15:11the aliens are here
00:15:13the aliens are here
00:15:16the aliens
00:15:19the aliens
00:15:22what's wrong with it you're standing on it
00:15:50he's dead Julian no no I'm not sand good job burners not here why be angry about
00:16:18the mess with me
00:16:48I'm
00:16:50I'm
00:16:52I'm
00:16:54I'm
00:16:56I'm
00:16:58I'm
00:17:00I'm
00:17:02I'm
00:17:04I'm
00:17:08I'm
00:17:10I'm
00:17:12I'm
00:17:14I'm
00:17:16I'm
00:17:20I'm
00:17:22I'm
00:17:24I'm
00:17:26I'm
00:17:28I'm
00:17:30Back! No one's going anywhere!
00:17:32Come on, now!
00:17:33Chief Inspector Miller, local police.
00:17:35Chief here, how's it going?
00:17:36Hell of a mess, sir!
00:17:37It's attracted every crackpot in the country!
00:17:39Oh!
00:17:40Right, sir. Local fire department.
00:17:42How's it going?
00:17:43Oh, terrible. Lost three men. The flames are completely out of control.
00:17:45Good, good. Well done.
00:17:47If you wouldn't mind, sir.
00:17:48Oh, of course.
00:17:51It's Geoffrey, isn't it?
00:17:54Get off my land, all of you, and take your army with you!
00:17:57Have that woman shot, will you?
00:18:03There's a sort of pod, Jules.
00:18:05I beg your pardon?
00:18:06Down there. It looks undamaged.
00:18:50Gentlemen, Colonel Larrabee. Cultural Attaché at the American Embassy.
00:18:55Sir!
00:18:59Commander, you probably don't know this, but my mother was a great military strategist.
00:19:04No, no, I didn't.
00:19:06Well, there's no reason why you should.
00:19:08One hell of a woman, Mattison.
00:19:10Yes, yes, I think she was.
00:19:12I'm only sorry she can't be here now to see this.
00:19:16So am I.
00:19:17The Archbishop of Canterbury on the line, sir.
00:19:19Tell him I'm at prayer.
00:19:20Let's face it, Commander, the people of the world as we know it are...
00:19:24What's the word I'm looking for?
00:19:30Doomed?
00:19:31No.
00:19:32Saved?
00:19:33No, no.
00:19:34Not alone?
00:19:35The people of this world are not alone.
00:19:38I think you know what I'm talking about, Mattison.
00:19:41So broadly, you're in agreement?
00:19:44Commander, the quicker you can make your move, the better.
00:19:47Go for it.
00:19:49Just remember, we're not playing polo in Westminster Abbey now.
00:19:53These beings are of a higher intelligence.
00:19:57Well, don't just sit there, Desmond.
00:19:59Do something.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Well, start the engine and let's get out of here.
00:20:06Well, I can't do that, can I?
00:20:07Why not?
00:20:08Well, because it's broken.
00:20:10How do you know?
00:20:11Because it looks brilliant, doesn't it?
00:20:17Here is a statement issued at 20 through 30 hours.
00:20:20April 16th.
00:20:21I will read it once.
00:20:22There will be no questions.
00:20:23There has been an accident on the M1 west south of Luton.
00:20:26What is Sweetly doing pictures?
00:20:28I must have pictures.
00:20:29OB coming through.
00:20:31That's more like it.
00:20:32Good boy.
00:20:33Good boy.
00:20:35Sound!
00:20:37I must have sound!
00:20:38Sound!
00:20:41The simple explanation is that the vehicle in question was a prototype seven-story helium-driven
00:20:46hovercraft blown off course while undergoing tests in the Solent.
00:20:50That is the end of this statement.
00:21:20It's...
00:21:21fahrenheit.
00:21:22There has come to the
00:21:26zone...
00:21:28Greetings!
00:21:29Had trouble finding you.
00:21:32Your signal was weak.
00:21:36Where are you going?
00:21:49Oh, uh, I'm easy, you know.
00:21:57I'm just bumming around the spaceways, you know, doing my own thing.
00:22:01Very much like yourself.
00:22:03Except you've obviously been up to it a lot longer than I have, judging by the, um, what would you call that, sort of floppy skin, sort of hanging off.
00:22:13It's a lovely, lovely spaceship, isn't it?
00:22:15That's not bad.
00:22:17I bet you've got a bit of poke when you pump the gas, eh?
00:22:19Are you male or female?
00:22:26Pardon?
00:22:27Are you the male of the species or the female?
00:22:33Um, uh, male, male, male.
00:22:35I'm a man.
00:22:36I'm a man, definitely.
00:22:37I'm a human man, part of mankind, but very definitely the male part or parts.
00:22:43Oh, shit.
00:22:45Oh, shit.
00:22:45Also, I'm a man.
00:23:06Oh, shit.
00:23:06Shut up!
00:23:36...scheduled for de-contamination. Proceed to the de-contamination unit in the de-contamination lock for immediate de-contamination.
00:23:53Colonel Alivier?
00:23:54Commander Madison.
00:23:56Ah, Simpson.
00:24:00Has there been any further activity?
00:24:02I know, sir. We alerted you as soon as we heard the noise. What, oh, three hours ago.
00:24:07It's been quiet, sir.
00:24:08And you think it's some sort of life before?
00:24:10Well, we're naturally taking orientation precautions.
00:24:12Disguise.
00:24:16Where's Professor Trousseau?
00:24:18I beg your pardon?
00:24:19Trousseau.
00:24:20Oh, the prop.
00:24:21He's setting up his equipment next to the podule now.
00:24:24Oh, good.
00:24:25Who is it?
00:24:26I had him flown in.
00:24:27Did you?
00:24:28Yes. Trousseau, the world's number one expert in lingophonic communications.
00:24:31Of course he is.
00:24:32He certainly has a fair amount of tackle.
00:24:34Listen, if the man who got a dolphin asked permission before pissing in his pool needs a lot of equipment, he needs a lot of equipment.
00:24:39Yes, I can imagine.
00:24:41Yes, Mr. Chairman.
00:24:42I mean, this is, I have to go outside.
00:24:43OK, we're going outside.
00:24:44Yep, we're going outside.
00:24:45You're going outside.
00:24:46OK, we're going outside.
00:24:47OK, we're going outside.
00:24:48Whoa.
00:24:49All right, we're going outside.
00:24:50We're going outside.
00:24:51And no one is going outside.
00:24:53Commander Madison, am I wearing the right clothing?
00:24:54This is not my suit.
00:24:56Where's my suit?
00:24:57This is not my suit! Where's my suit?
00:25:20Professor Trousseau!
00:25:27Professor, thank God you're here.
00:25:31If ever there was a time when the skills that you are endowed with
00:25:34were what we have need of, then this is it.
00:25:37Gentlemen, may I present the man
00:25:39who will unravel the mysteries of the alien's language.
00:25:44This is the big one.
00:25:47What do you mean? I don't understand.
00:25:49There's someone who speaks French? No?
00:25:51The big one.
00:25:53The big one.
00:25:57The big... one.
00:26:01Talking to the aliens. The Padule.
00:26:05Padule. Padule.
00:26:09Padule.
00:26:11Padule. Padule.
00:26:13Talk. Speak.
00:26:15Professor Simpson.
00:26:17Professor Simpson.
00:26:19The noise has come back, sir.
00:26:27Oh.
00:26:29Oh.
00:26:31Oh.
00:26:33Oh.
00:26:35Oh.
00:26:37Oh.
00:26:39Oh.
00:26:41Oh.
00:26:43Oh.
00:26:45Oh.
00:26:47Oh.
00:26:49Oh.
00:26:51Oh.
00:26:52This is a much more positive signal.
00:26:53Is it?
00:26:54Yes.
00:26:55The first bout only lasted 20 seconds.
00:26:57Oh.
00:26:58Oh.
00:26:59Oh.
00:27:00Oh.
00:27:01Oh.
00:27:02Oh.
00:27:03Oh.
00:27:04Oh.
00:27:05Oh.
00:27:06Oh.
00:27:07Oh.
00:27:08Oh.
00:27:09Oh.
00:27:10Oh.
00:27:11Oh.
00:27:12Oh.
00:27:13Oh.
00:27:14Oh.
00:27:15Oh.
00:27:16Oh.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:19Oh.
00:27:20Tess?
00:27:42Tess?
00:27:44Tess, I hear music.
00:27:46So can I, Sand.
00:27:48I thought you were asleep, you dirty little git.
00:27:51Don't stop, Tess.
00:27:54Born free, as free as the wind blows.
00:27:59As free as the grass grows, born free to follow your heart.
00:28:04We don't need a goddamn word!
00:28:06Live free, and beauty surrounds you.
00:28:11The world still storms you, each time you look at a star.
00:28:16Take this world, sir, and shut up your...
00:28:19Sir?
00:28:29Oh, my God.
00:28:31Uh...
00:28:33Tess?
00:28:39Tess?
00:28:40Tess?
00:28:41TESS.
00:28:42TESS?
00:28:44Tess?
00:28:46TESS.
00:29:01Des?
00:29:20What?
00:29:21Would you come here a moment, please, my darling?
00:29:25Oh, for God.
00:29:27Would you just come here, please, Desmond?
00:29:30Sound?
00:29:32I wonder what that...
00:29:34Desmond?
00:29:35I'm trying... I'm...
00:29:37All right.
00:29:47You pull that door off!
00:29:49Hello, can I speak to Miss Benson, please?
00:29:51Mr Benson.
00:29:54This is very urgent, actually.
00:29:57Hello.
00:29:58Miss Stanley.
00:29:59This is teabag.
00:30:01We lead with our hovercraft, eh?
00:30:03I think there's somebody coming.
00:30:09We need a picture of a hovercraft.
00:30:11And we'll need a diagram.
00:30:13All clear.
00:30:15All clear.
00:30:16All clear.
00:30:17All clear.
00:30:18What are you doing?
00:30:29Look, it's old and a bit like...
00:30:30But you finish jazz it up.
00:30:31gentlemen professor simpson and his team have just completed a thorough physical examination
00:30:49of the aliens and he has come to the conclusion that they are human human human yes it's quite
00:30:58feasible a parallel world a planet a whole new life form developing in much the same way as our
00:31:03own in a distant solar system it's all here in document 14 all right gentlemen no more pussy
00:31:13footing around let's go
00:31:43sit down will you
00:31:44mm-hmm over here
00:31:50we'd like to start at the beginning
00:32:00yes good good place to start i think you have come to our planet from another planet no we come
00:32:15from our own planet not another one that's what we mean why didn't you say so then yes why didn't
00:32:23you say so let's start again at the beginning if you like i don't mind it's him that gets confused
00:32:28sit down since the planet that you come from yes what do you call it
00:32:36what do i call it yes what do you call it what's it known as what's its name
00:32:45forgotten you've forgotten yeah silly me i'll forget my own name next
00:32:55okay give me a clue
00:32:59now can you complete that
00:33:04Now, can you complete that?
00:33:23Can you?
00:33:24Of course.
00:33:25What are you asking me for?
00:33:34Greetings.
00:33:46My name is Bernard.
00:33:50I have traveled far to your planet.
00:33:54I come in peace.
00:33:57Will you speak with me?
00:34:01No, I understand.
00:34:04I would like to meet with your leader.
00:34:08Is that possible at all?
00:34:12I will return here in 24 hours
00:34:15when the moon is in the heavens again.
00:34:24Good.
00:34:25This shouldn't rest you, Lutz.
00:34:26This is the sort of thing we have on our planet.
00:34:34See this?
00:34:41Nope.
00:34:44Just by touching this, see,
00:34:47we can make signs.
00:34:52What we call letters and words.
00:34:58Yeah?
00:35:00P-L-E-N-N-I-T.
00:35:08Planet.
00:35:10I mean, you'd have a bit of a job
00:35:13carrying one of them around your top pocket, wouldn't you?
00:35:15Yeah?
00:35:15And we call this
00:35:18a pen.
00:35:22P-E-N.
00:35:26N.
00:35:28Ooh, ooh, show it to me?
00:35:31Um...
00:35:32Where are you now I'm up?
00:35:36Tempt me sideways?
00:35:37You must have heard of tempt me sideways.
00:35:41Oh, I just...
00:35:42It's such a...
00:35:50But it's true.
00:35:53When you are in my arms,
00:36:06why does the sky go blue?
00:36:09My heart goes bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim
00:36:12when I'm with you.
00:36:15Make my dreams come.
00:36:17Two.
00:36:27So, let's just recap, shall we?
00:36:33It's very big, possibly huge,
00:36:37but also wide and rough.
00:36:40It's a greeny,
00:36:45sort of bluey,
00:36:48sort of all bright colours,
00:36:50and covered with all
00:36:51wispy clouds.
00:36:57And all in all,
00:36:59a funny old place.
00:37:03And there's nothing else
00:37:04you can tell us about your planet?
00:37:09Oh!
00:37:10I just remember what it's called.
00:37:15What?
00:37:16Blob.
00:37:18Blob?
00:37:20Blob.
00:37:22Blob.
00:37:25Blob.
00:37:30Ah!
00:37:32You're early!
00:37:34Greetings.
00:37:35Once more.
00:37:36Leader not here, then?
00:37:48You seem strangely silent tonight.
00:37:51You haven't told him, have you?
00:37:54What is the point
00:37:55in people making arrangements
00:37:56if we...
00:37:57What can I say?
00:38:09This
00:38:10is a great moment.
00:38:13A great moment.
00:38:14Hey, Melvin,
00:38:18there was a strange
00:38:19he dressed man of the forest
00:38:20back there,
00:38:21and you know,
00:38:21I think we hit him.
00:38:24Good.
00:38:25Oh, no, Melvin,
00:38:26please,
00:38:27stop.
00:38:27We've got to get some help.
00:38:35Definitely a strain
00:38:36of the ankle.
00:38:36Some abrasions,
00:38:37possibly slight bruising
00:38:38of the toes.
00:38:39He'll be okay.
00:38:40Severe concussion.
00:39:04Multiple fractures,
00:39:05hemorrhage,
00:39:06and possible broken toes.
00:39:07Will somebody
00:39:08give me an okay
00:39:08on immediate surgery?
00:39:10Somebody find the doctor.
00:39:11We've got a sick man here!
00:39:14Where am I?
00:39:15It's okay, honey.
00:39:16You're gonna be all right.
00:39:23I must go home.
00:39:24Yeah, sure, honey.
00:39:26I must leave
00:39:27this planet at once.
00:39:29Has anyone seen
00:39:31my spaceship?
00:39:32He's delirious.
00:39:33Take me to your leader.
00:39:35It's gonna be okay, honey.
00:39:36Just relax.
00:39:37Everything's fine.
00:39:38Look,
00:39:38I am not talking to you.
00:39:40I'm talking to him.
00:39:44Get the doctor.
00:39:47I'm sorry to call you
00:39:48so late, sir.
00:39:48You asked to be kept in four.
00:39:50Have they tried to escape?
00:39:51No.
00:39:51Have they given something away?
00:39:52They've started playing
00:39:54with the chess set.
00:39:55Oh, this is a development.
00:39:57No, it isn't.
00:39:58I see.
00:40:00Come on, Madison.
00:40:01I don't wish to dwell
00:40:02on technical matters,
00:40:04but these visitors
00:40:05from outer space,
00:40:07Yes?
00:40:08They are what we scientists
00:40:10call brainless.
00:40:12Brainless?
00:40:13They are thick,
00:40:13stupid,
00:40:14dum-dums.
00:40:15Cruds.
00:40:16Cruds.
00:40:17Twits.
00:40:17Twits.
00:40:17Morons.
00:40:18Look at them now.
00:40:19Well, they're posing
00:40:21in the mirror.
00:40:21I had the mirror
00:40:22taken out yesterday.
00:40:26Some years ago,
00:40:26we were in the habit
00:40:27of sending chimpanzees
00:40:28into outer space.
00:40:29Someone, somewhere,
00:40:30has gone one better.
00:40:33They're completely worthless.
00:40:34They know as much
00:40:35about the secrets
00:40:36of the universe
00:40:36as my mother's Labrador.
00:40:38They've got you
00:40:39exactly where they want you,
00:40:42running around
00:40:43and around in circles
00:40:44until they're ready
00:40:46to strike.
00:40:47Will they?
00:40:48You don't see it,
00:40:49do you?
00:40:52The moment
00:40:53that they get out
00:40:54on the streets,
00:40:55their heads
00:40:56will split apart
00:40:58like ripe peaches.
00:41:00Spletch!
00:41:04Like maggots,
00:41:06swarms of them,
00:41:08reproducing
00:41:09until we have
00:41:10no power
00:41:10with which
00:41:11to resist them by.
00:41:12I think we all
00:41:13need a good night's sleep.
00:41:15We'll try
00:41:15a different approach
00:41:16in the morning.
00:41:17Ah.
00:41:19Hello, Stanley?
00:41:20Yes, I know it's late.
00:41:21This is teabag.
00:41:23Again.
00:41:24And, and,
00:41:25and there's someone
00:41:25coming, aren't I?
00:41:33Tickleys!
00:41:38What's all this?
00:41:39Shut up.
00:41:40What?
00:41:40Shut up.
00:41:43Now listen, boy,
00:41:45listen good.
00:41:47We're not gonna leave
00:41:49this room until I know
00:41:50how your spacecraft
00:41:51was powered.
00:41:52I've told you,
00:41:54I drove it.
00:41:57Ah!
00:41:58Ah!
00:41:59Well, look,
00:42:00you've got two pedals,
00:42:02right?
00:42:02And you,
00:42:03you press one
00:42:04and that makes you go.
00:42:06And you,
00:42:06you press the other
00:42:07and that makes you stop.
00:42:08See?
00:42:09Pedals.
00:42:10P-E-D-D-E-L-S.
00:42:15Pedals.
00:42:15P-E-D-E-D-E-L-S.
00:42:17Ah!
00:42:18Come on.
00:42:19Shut your tentacles.
00:42:20What?
00:42:21Come on.
00:42:23Throw off
00:42:24the disguise.
00:42:26What?
00:42:27Come on.
00:42:29Let's have a look
00:42:30at the real alien.
00:42:31Ah!
00:42:32Ah!
00:42:34Keep him away from me,
00:42:36will you?
00:42:37He's mad.
00:42:41So I knew this
00:42:42would have to happen
00:42:42eventually, you know?
00:42:44Well, he spends much time
00:42:45buzzing around in space
00:42:45as I do.
00:42:47Bound to make contact
00:42:47with the old intelligent
00:42:48lifeformer.
00:42:49Yeah.
00:42:51Ah, yes.
00:42:51This is very good.
00:42:52Don't be too careful.
00:42:57I, uh,
00:42:58I think you'll find
00:42:59I'm clean.
00:43:01This way, is it?
00:43:04Fraternal greetings
00:43:05to your palace.
00:43:06Yes.
00:43:06Keep it up.
00:43:09May I say
00:43:10on behalf of my planet
00:43:11how I'm proud
00:43:13and privileged
00:43:14I am
00:43:15to be of this
00:43:16coming together
00:43:17of two migrant
00:43:17civilisation.
00:43:22Good evening.
00:43:23I'm here to see your leader.
00:43:24I believe he's expecting me.
00:43:25Well, George Washington's
00:43:26taking a nap right now.
00:43:27Julius Caesar
00:43:28is watching TV.
00:43:29but I'm sure
00:43:30one of the Napoleons
00:43:31will be able
00:43:31to talk to you.
00:43:32I ain't got all that.
00:43:33Explicated.
00:43:33Oh!
00:43:40And we consider it
00:43:42a regrettable incident
00:43:43that we must put behind us,
00:43:45especially today
00:43:46because
00:43:47I have
00:43:48a very important
00:43:49announcement
00:43:50to make to you all.
00:43:52You'll have to wait.
00:43:53Colonel Larry Baird,
00:43:56I've been very patient
00:43:58with you
00:43:58but as long
00:43:59as I control
00:43:59this operation...
00:44:00Commander Madison,
00:44:02you no longer
00:44:02do control
00:44:03this operation.
00:44:04I do.
00:44:16Gentlemen,
00:44:17when you're in the tub
00:44:19and a man-eating spider
00:44:20crawls out of the faucet,
00:44:21you don't
00:44:22ask him to pass you
00:44:23the soap.
00:44:28I'm telling you,
00:44:29we have got something
00:44:30in our plumbing
00:44:30and I don't like it.
00:44:34These are no pinheads
00:44:35from another planet.
00:44:37These are no pea brains
00:44:38from beyond.
00:44:40Right.
00:44:43These are mind suckers!
00:44:48I can hear my mother now.
00:44:56She's saying,
00:44:57get out there, Eamon.
00:44:59Get out there
00:45:00and get those leeches
00:45:01before they get you.
00:45:04My God.
00:45:06Haven't any of you
00:45:07seen Invasion
00:45:08of the Body Snatchers?
00:45:11Let's kill them.
00:45:16Wait, wait!
00:45:17I'll take the ugly one
00:45:19with the drink problem.
00:45:20Yeah!
00:45:22Kill!
00:45:22Kill!
00:45:23Kill!
00:45:24Kill!
00:45:25Kill!
00:45:25Kill!
00:45:26Kill!
00:45:27Kill!
00:45:28Kill!
00:45:28Kill!
00:45:29Kill!
00:45:29Kill!
00:45:30Kill!
00:45:31Kill!
00:45:32Kill!
00:45:33Kill!
00:45:34Kill!
00:45:35Kill!
00:45:36Kill!
00:45:37Kill!
00:45:38Kill!
00:45:39Kill!
00:45:40Kill!
00:45:41Kill!
00:45:42Kill!
00:45:43Kill!
00:45:44Kill!
00:45:45Kill!
00:45:46Kill!
00:45:47Kill!
00:45:48Kill!
00:45:49Kill!
00:45:50Kill!
00:45:51Kill!
00:45:52Kill!
00:45:53Kill!
00:45:54Kill!
00:45:55Kill!
00:45:56Kill!
00:45:57Kill!
00:45:58Kill!
00:45:59Kill!
00:46:00Kill!
00:46:01Oh, my God!
00:46:31the ventilation shaft sir after them not to what is what would you do if you
00:46:53are being chased hide let's hide
00:47:17hi hi just a minute just a minute how am i supposed to escape if you keep running away
00:47:22now i know you're frankly confused but just get in the car will you
00:47:31hold her on fire they're not inside they're outside
00:47:35come on come on come on
00:47:42can somebody just explain to me what's going on here quick
00:47:46if it's not too much to us don't push me
00:47:49get in please just get off the key ollie ollie action free adios alien
00:47:58sir
00:47:58do you think they're all right
00:48:07not really now wait
00:48:14i have to talk to you can't we behave like bees and of all human beings
00:48:18are they enough i can't let you escape like this stop the lorry oh yes yes you'd like me to stop the
00:48:28lorry wouldn't you well i can't i'm taking these people someone that we cared for someone that we
00:48:34looked after
00:48:43love you what did he say oh sandra you came from outer space but when i saw your face
00:48:51somehow i what's up with him he's singing
00:48:54your nose dived into my atmosphere you dropped your landing gear and my heart flew
00:49:04graham let me in this is the scoop of a lifetime don't do this to me not your own father you're
00:49:12not my father stanley you can't keep this to yourself the world is waiting no he isn't didn't
00:49:18my wife suckle you at her breast no she did not would you like her no thank you ignore him he'll
00:49:25go away graham he says to go away you could have anything you want anything yeah graham just fill
00:49:38in your own about all right nobody move we have the building completely surrounded you must hand over
00:49:49the aliens to me immediately no one will come to you if you give up without a struggle if you don't
00:49:56believe me look out of the window come out one by one with your hands high come out with your hands up
00:50:07slowly find a couch it billy billy don't come any closer really we interrupt this broadcast to bring
00:50:17you an urgent news flash we'll return to our western as soon as possible ukbc can exclusive
00:50:23what happened to the cowboy phone thank you for your help well you'll be quiet i need this
00:50:29last week yes sure stanley they are hold up here that's us 132a mornington avenue that's us we're on
00:50:39the news home of unscrupulous unemployed former junior assistant graham sweetly that's the incredible
00:50:49story tonight earlier this evening the head of special operations on site commander grenville
00:50:56mattison was prevailed upon to issue a statement he said there are three extraterrestrials of humanoid
00:51:02caucasian appearance the leader is male about 31 62 190 pounds pallid complexion length greasy hair
00:51:10the second is of indeterminate sex 28 5 10 145 pounds short dark hair pale skin the female is 26 looks
00:51:20younger she has a delicate complexion and excellent bone structure her eyes are hazel flecked with gray and
00:51:26sometimes a little sad her voice is throaty hands exquisite and she said to have a certain
00:51:32indefinable something a commander madison added that they were highly intelligent and potentially
00:51:38dangerous we'll be going back to england for on the spot you've got it wrong they've got it wrong
00:51:44they've got it wrong they've got it wrong listen to me woman i shouldn't be here i should be over
00:51:48there in uh in what's it called england don't you understand you can't let those idiots talk to your
00:51:52civilization they have enough trouble talking to each other bernard i think we'd be better off
00:51:57downstairs look i'm quite calm is that the time i promise to give the eskimo chief a ping-pong lesson
00:52:10you're wasting your time with me
00:52:11come on watch someone else hey look that that man's gonna throw something what is it
00:52:24well it's some sort of brick i think that could have been dangerous that i'm hungry
00:52:29it wasn't our fault we crushed on their planet was it's aren't no it was tess's fault
00:52:44this is madness madness i can't i can't let them do this i can't
00:52:50i can't let them do this i can't let them do this i can't let them do this i can't let them do this
00:52:59so space travelers come halfway across the universe to this planet and this is how we greet them is
00:53:03it yeah he's right he's right he's right with rocks and with with avocados how much are avocados
00:53:12you ought to be ashamed of yourselves these are these aren't space monsters with tv aerials stuck
00:53:22on their heads they haven't come here to zap your planet with their ray guns
00:53:28these are fellow beings come in peace to do a bit of shopping people of earth people of earth
00:53:38we should count ourselves privileged yeah you're privileged to greet these intrepid pioneers
00:53:44who've come so far across the spaceways because they didn't do that without courage
00:53:51yes and without fortitude and without wisdom
00:53:55they've seen the light uh your cookers on fire you stupid imbeciles
00:54:15you haven't been on holiday with them
00:54:30oh
00:54:54i love you
00:54:58Come on, Manny.
00:55:08Come on. Come on, that's it.
00:55:11No, don't.
00:55:28Come on, Manny.
00:55:58Friends, this is where our paths must divide.
00:56:03I have a mission, but I must go alone.
00:56:06Which way is England?
00:56:11Bobby, there's nothing to be frightened of now.
00:56:14On my planet, all of you would be free men, not lot away like animals.
00:56:18Be free. Find your own happiness.
00:56:24Farewell.
00:56:28Are you all needing a lift?
00:56:51Yes, yes, ma'am.
00:56:55Oh, by the way.
00:56:56Yep.
00:56:57I'm a man.
00:57:00Are you?
00:57:01Yes.
00:57:02Good.
00:57:03Good.
00:57:04Good.
00:57:11So, where are you all from?
00:57:14Originally.
00:57:15Yep.
00:57:16Well, originally I come from a long way away.
00:57:19You see, what happened was, I was with my friends and we were in our spaceship.
00:57:24Uh...
00:57:25Ah!
00:57:26Ah!
00:57:27Ah!
00:57:34Oh, here they come.
00:57:39Who's this?
00:57:40Countess Gretel of the Netherlands, may I present to Sandra Brock.
00:57:43Oh, you've got the girl, love.
00:57:46Have you seen this?
00:57:47Have you seen this?
00:57:48King Alexis of Moravia.
00:57:53Yeah.
00:57:54Sandra, I have to talk to you.
00:57:56Leave her alone.
00:57:57It was the only way.
00:57:58No.
00:57:59Look, Sandra doesn't like you.
00:58:01All right.
00:58:03Admiral of the fleet, Sir Arthur Ford.
00:58:04There's a quiet ante room.
00:58:06Somewhere where we can talk.
00:58:08A lady with a crown.
00:58:09Just the two of us.
00:58:11How are you shoving me?
00:58:12Get back in line.
00:58:13Oh, for goodness sake.
00:58:16I don't know what people see in her.
00:58:18She's perfect.
00:58:20Perfect?
00:58:21I've got bigger tits than she has.
00:58:34Yes, yes, I understand.
00:58:35But I'll be with you in just a minute, because there's somebody on the other phone.
00:58:37Excuse me, hold on for a moment.
00:58:38Hello, this is the Aliens residence.
00:58:40Can you hold for just a minute, please?
00:58:41Aren't you lot up yet?
00:58:43We're having a bit of relaxation.
00:58:45I'm sorry about that.
00:58:46Yes.
00:58:47Yes.
00:58:48Sir?
00:58:49Sir?
00:58:50It says here you're a big pop star on blog.
00:58:52Is somebody on the other phone?
00:58:53Does it?
00:58:55Hello, Aliens suite.
00:58:56Sandra?
00:58:57Brock said yesterday that...
00:58:58Well...
00:58:59Hello, hello.
00:59:00They exaggerate, don't they?
00:59:01No.
00:59:02Look, these are ambassadors from another planet.
00:59:04They're not interested in advertising, no.
00:59:06She went on to say that her husband, Des, is a well-known millionaire scientist on their planet.
00:59:10Yeah.
00:59:11Sure.
00:59:12Some hope of that.
00:59:13I see.
00:59:16Honestly, they wouldn't do it for a million dollars.
00:59:18You're offering a million dollars.
00:59:20You don't understand.
00:59:22There is nobody here who has the slightest interest or concern for mouthwash.
00:59:27No.
00:59:28No.
00:59:29Non.
00:59:30Niente.
00:59:31Nine.
00:59:32No, not nine million.
00:59:34No.
00:59:35You don't understand.
00:59:36The money is entirely irrelevant.
00:59:38No.
00:59:39That doesn't mean they'll do it for free either.
00:59:41No.
00:59:42Please.
00:59:43Stop bothering me, will you?
00:59:44I'm gonna put the phone down now, you see?
00:59:45I'm gonna...
00:59:46Just go away.
00:59:47Look, I'm...
00:59:48Hello.
00:59:49Hello.
00:59:50I'm sorry about that.
00:59:51Yeah, that tastes just like lube.
00:59:52Oh, my God.
00:59:53For charity, yes.
00:59:55I'm afraid of barking up the wrong tree here.
00:59:58Well, they don't even know what golf is.
01:00:00And I don't think it would be fair to ask them to do it.
01:00:02So the answer is no.
01:00:03Yes.
01:00:04Could you get that for me, Julian, please?
01:00:06Doesn't look like lube.
01:00:08They're tear-saked, though.
01:00:10Up your flaps.
01:00:12Oh, don't drink it, Des.
01:00:14Looks like weed.
01:00:15I see.
01:00:16Thank you very much.
01:00:18Lube's green, Desmond.
01:00:21Good luck for the tournament, and up yours too.
01:00:24Graham!
01:00:25Get me a crate of this stuff.
01:00:27Will you?
01:00:28Yes, I'll get it in just a minute.
01:00:29You haven't got time to do that, Graham.
01:00:31You promised you'd take us to Scotland.
01:00:32Scotland, in fact.
01:00:33We're going there...
01:00:34Graham, I can't get any more charity.
01:00:35I'll be with you in just...
01:00:36You promised we'd be going to do some shopping in Scotland.
01:00:38Just a minute, please.
01:00:39Oh, yes, we were right.
01:00:40You promised!
01:00:41Oh, shut up!
01:00:42What am I doing?
01:00:43What am I doing?
01:00:44This is what my life has come to, is it?
01:00:46Dancing attendance on you three greedy interplanetary pillocks.
01:00:49Well, I've had enough.
01:00:51I'm finished.
01:00:56Very funny.
01:00:57All gone away.
01:00:58There's no water coming out.
01:00:59Julian.
01:01:00Graham.
01:01:02Graham.
01:01:05Ray.
01:01:09Julian's got his fingers back in a tap.
01:01:11Graham.
01:01:13Please.
01:01:21Glass for Miss Brock.
01:01:23Oh, Sandra, you may move later from outer space, but when he saw your face, somehow he knew...
01:01:39How dare you, sir!
01:01:40Look at me now!
01:01:42Sandra!
01:01:43Yeah, hello, love.
01:01:44Yeah.
01:01:45Can you give me a plumber?
01:01:46A plumber, yes.
01:01:47And a brewery and a couple of thousand tons of green dye.
01:01:5061!
01:01:5111.
01:01:52Yes, sir.
01:01:53Yes, sir.
01:01:54I'm not allowed.
01:01:55All right, you're about 10,000 tons of green dye.
01:01:57Ready, ready, ready.
01:01:58All right, you.
01:01:59Oh, better-o, better-o, better-o, better-o, better-o, better-o, better-oore.
01:02:01Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:02:22Hey, care of you guys.
01:02:23You're out in a minute.
01:02:25Get those hands around.
01:02:26Hey.
01:02:27It's our charmed on the line.
01:02:29Hey, Lucy, turn it off.
01:02:30OK.
01:02:31When you are in my arms, why does the sky go blue?
01:02:38My heart goes dim, dim, dim, dim, dim, when I'm with you.
01:02:43When I feel happy, young men look twice.
01:02:49My head ain't seems to go away, my hair looks light.
01:02:55But if you ask me why, I sometimes look annoyed.
01:03:01It is because my husband's drunk is unemployed.
01:03:06That's why I'm a...
01:03:10Girl!
01:03:14This show is brought to you live from England.
01:03:27That was great, Sandra. Really great.
01:03:31Now, where were we?
01:03:33Ah, yes.
01:03:34University.
01:03:35Yes.
01:03:36What subject did you read at university, Sandra?
01:03:38Shoes.
01:03:43Yes, I did shoes.
01:03:44And hair.
01:03:47Black and yellow.
01:03:49And...
01:03:50And...
01:03:51Oh, and advanced dancing.
01:03:52Oh, yes.
01:03:53And Julian.
01:03:55Yes?
01:03:56You were a world famous manicurist on Blob.
01:04:01Was I?
01:04:03Famous manicures.
01:04:05I remember.
01:04:07Oh, yeah.
01:04:08Anything you say, Sam.
01:04:09Let's get over to you, Des.
01:04:10Get over here.
01:04:12So Julian also read dancing at university.
01:04:14Yes, but only preliminary.
01:04:16And colouring.
01:04:17Not much preparation for piloting a spaceship.
01:04:18No.
01:04:19No.
01:04:20No.
01:04:21No, Bernard did all of that.
01:04:22Bernard?
01:04:23Bernard?
01:04:24Bernard?
01:04:25Who is Bernard?
01:04:31Umm.
01:04:32Who's Bernard?
01:04:36No, Bernard did all of that.
01:04:47Bernard?
01:04:49Bernard?
01:04:52Who's Bernard?
01:04:54He's Des's brother's friend.
01:04:57Des, Bernard was with you, was he?
01:04:59Yes.
01:05:00No.
01:05:00Yes, he was.
01:05:03Wasn't he?
01:05:05Where's Bernard now?
01:05:07Well, he's up there.
01:05:09Lost in space.
01:05:11I hope.
01:05:26Don't try and stop me.
01:05:27Okay.
01:05:28Why, honey, why?
01:05:29It can't be as bad as all that.
01:05:32Why?
01:05:34Why?
01:05:34I'll show you why.
01:05:38You just look at that.
01:05:40Look at that.
01:05:42Recognize them?
01:05:43Eh?
01:05:44My three so-called friends, rich and famous.
01:05:48And me, destitute.
01:05:51Nowhere to go.
01:05:52No money.
01:05:54And home.
01:05:5414 million light years away.
01:05:58Nothing.
01:05:58Nothing.
01:05:59Nothing.
01:06:00Nothing.
01:06:02That is bad.
01:06:03You better jump.
01:06:04Thank you, madam.
01:06:04You've been a great help.
01:06:06Wait a minute.
01:06:08You're not called Bernard, are you?
01:06:11That is my name, yes.
01:06:13Hey, you must be the fourth alien.
01:06:15Yes.
01:06:16The one they talked about on the chat show just now.
01:06:18Yes.
01:06:18The one with the body odor problem?
01:06:20Yes.
01:06:21Yes.
01:06:21That's me.
01:06:22Oh.
01:06:23I'm saved.
01:06:24Yeah.
01:06:24I'm saved.
01:06:26Oh.
01:06:27I won't be needing you anymore.
01:06:31Ah!
01:06:33It's a rock.
01:06:34Excuse me.
01:06:35You'll want it back in the studio.
01:06:36Okay, fine.
01:06:39Ow!
01:06:39Hey, cool.
01:06:40Okay.
01:06:42What's up?
01:06:43What's up?
01:06:44Wait a minute.
01:06:45Wait a minute.
01:06:45A false Sunni from the planet.
01:06:46Bob is trying to park his flying saucer.
01:06:48But don't tell Graham.
01:06:49Tell the whole world over there breakfast.
01:06:50Well, it's not at all.
01:06:51We'll tell the whole world.
01:06:51He's still up.
01:06:52Well, it wasn't that great.
01:06:52He's still up.
01:06:53I don't want to hear it.
01:06:54I don't want to hear it.
01:06:54It's difficult.
01:06:56I've got you.
01:06:57I've got you.
01:06:57The biggest contract.
01:06:59The biggest contract.
01:07:00Since.
01:07:02Since the last contract I got you.
01:07:04And that was a big contract, wasn't it?
01:07:05Yes, it was, Graham.
01:07:06It was, Graham.
01:07:07That's great.
01:07:07I might as well flush this down the...
01:07:10Excuse me.
01:07:11Um, tell me stories.
01:07:18Honestly, Graham.
01:07:19Burnhead's dead.
01:07:21I hope so.
01:07:24Do you think he's dead?
01:07:30Not yet, Madam.
01:07:32No.
01:07:35Oh, Mr. Cole.
01:07:37Oh, Mr. Tobe.
01:07:40Oh, Mr. Tobe.
01:07:42The maid has reported a hotel towel missing from your bathroom.
01:07:48Oh, goodness.
01:07:50Yes, look.
01:07:52Packed in by mistake.
01:07:54And an alabaster ash tray with simulated gold fittings.
01:07:57Oh, yes.
01:08:00Oh, yes.
01:08:01And a bedside lamp stand.
01:08:04Yes.
01:08:07Yes.
01:08:07And, uh, an antique hormonal telephone.
01:08:11Oh, yes.
01:08:12Thank you very much.
01:08:13Yes.
01:08:14Yes.
01:08:15And a chamber.
01:08:20What is all this?
01:08:21We own this hotel.
01:08:23He can take what he likes.
01:08:24Come on.
01:08:32Good evening.
01:08:34My name is Bernard.
01:08:35I am the fourth alien.
01:08:37Yeah, okay.
01:08:39Very impressive.
01:08:40Now go to the back of the line.
01:08:46You hear the news?
01:08:48The three aliens are coming to New York.
01:08:50One night only.
01:08:51Two thousand dollars a ticket.
01:08:52Well, let's go.
01:08:52Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:09:08Julian!
01:09:09It's me!
01:09:11Julian!
01:09:12Look!
01:09:15Julian!
01:09:15Oh, Julian!
01:09:20Oh, Julian!
01:09:22Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!
01:09:27Johnny! Johnny!
01:09:29It's me!
01:09:31Somebody please lend me $2,000.
01:09:33I promise you'll get it back just as soon as I've seen my friends.
01:09:36You see, I am an alien. Hello.
01:09:38My name's Bernard. Hello, I'm an alien.
01:09:42Right, everybody out. What is all this?
01:09:44For Christ's sake, Ambrose, earn your money.
01:09:46Come on, let's go. Out, out, out, out.
01:09:48Have you all? Out, out, out.
01:09:50Come on, come on. Not you. You're on in five minutes.
01:09:54Graham, we've been thinking.
01:09:57Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything. Get dressed.
01:10:03Thank you!
01:10:06Thank you, America!
01:10:11We're not happy, are we, Julian?
01:10:15We think we're going in the wrong direction, artistically.
01:10:18We're thinking of retiring.
01:10:20Retiring?
01:10:23You haven't done anything yet.
01:10:25Get your clothes on.
01:10:27I don't think you appreciate the kind of pressure that we're under.
01:10:31Self! Self! Self!
01:10:33That's all you think of, isn't it?
01:10:36You don't mind the 400,000 ordinary Earth people out there!
01:10:40No, you surprise me. You really do.
01:10:42I really thought you were better than that.
01:10:46I blame myself.
01:10:48I've turned you from nice, ordinary guys into monsters from outer space.
01:10:54No, don't say that, Gray.
01:10:55No, I suppose I just hoped for too much, didn't I?
01:10:59I just hoped that you could show this crazy, mixed-up planet we live on, torn by war and strife and suffering, that there was something up there.
01:11:10Something beyond our, our own petty concerns.
01:11:14Something we could believe!
01:11:20Well, I was wrong to hope, wasn't I?
01:11:24I was wrong to hope.
01:11:26For something sincere.
01:11:28And truthful.
01:11:30What do you think, Gray?
01:11:36You look fine. Get out there and slay them!
01:11:39Let's have a big hand for the alternative gospel singers.
01:11:42They're God's people from outer space.
01:11:45The Ink Blobs!
01:11:51How, how did we go
01:11:54Before the Pardule, the Pardule of Woe
01:12:00Came, came from above
01:12:06Pardule of Love
01:12:09Pardule of Love
01:12:13They came, yes they did, they came from Heaven
01:12:17At above 10 past 11
01:12:20Right by Junction 7
01:12:22That Pardule of Woe
01:12:24Tell me how
01:12:25How, how did we go
01:12:27Before the Pardule, the Pardule, the Pardule of Woe
01:12:32Before the Pardule, the Pardule of Woe
01:12:36Or the Pardule, the Pardule of Woe
01:12:37All right, all right!
01:12:50All right, all right.
01:13:20And now, guys and gals, the moment you've been waiting for.
01:13:44The aliens are about to materialize before your eyes.
01:13:50They came to us from a far distant planet, and now here they are in our midst.
01:13:56I insist, let's give it for the aliens.
01:14:20Are you ready for that?
01:14:38Hey, it's great to be on your planet!
01:14:44Hey!
01:14:45Hey!
01:14:46Hey!
01:14:47Hey!
01:14:48Hey!
01:14:49Hey!
01:14:50Hey!
01:14:51Hey!
01:14:52Hey!
01:14:53Hey!
01:14:54Hey!
01:14:55Hey!
01:14:56Hey!
01:14:57Hey!
01:14:58Hey!
01:14:59Hey!
01:15:00Hey!
01:15:01Hey!
01:15:02Hey!
01:15:03Hey!
01:15:04Hey!
01:15:05Hey!
01:15:06Hey!
01:15:07Hey!
01:15:08Hey!
01:15:09Hey!
01:15:10Hey!
01:15:11Hey!
01:15:12Hey!
01:15:13Hey!
01:15:14Hey!
01:15:15Hey!
01:15:16Hey!
01:15:17Hey!
01:15:18Hey!
01:15:19Hey!
01:15:20Hey!
01:15:21Hey!
01:15:22Hey!
01:15:23Hey!
01:15:24Hey!
01:15:25Hey!
01:15:26Hey!
01:15:27Hey!
01:15:28Hey!
01:15:29Hey!
01:15:30Hey!
01:15:31Hey!
01:15:32Hey!
01:15:33Hey!
01:15:34Hey!
01:15:35Hey!
01:15:36Hey!
01:15:37Hey!
01:15:38Hey!
01:15:39Hey!
01:15:40Hey!
01:15:41Hey!
01:15:42Hey!
01:15:43Hey!
01:15:44Hey!
01:15:45Hey!
01:15:46Hey!
01:15:47Hey!
01:15:48Hey!
01:15:49Hey!
01:15:50You're a complete animal, Desmond!
01:16:20Oh, he's ruined everything!
01:16:33Whoa!
01:16:34Hold it!
01:16:35Hold it!
01:16:36I'll never be able to hold my head on again!
01:16:41I thought it went really well!
01:16:48Sand!
01:16:51Sand!
01:16:57Hello.
01:16:59What do you want?
01:17:11What do I want?
01:17:13What do I want?
01:17:14What a damn stupid question, isn't it?
01:17:16Well, you're not having any of it, so...
01:17:19Oh, Sandra!
01:17:21Julian!
01:17:23Me old mate!
01:17:25Des!
01:17:26It's your old pal, Bernard!
01:17:29The fourth alien!
01:17:30There is no fourth alien.
01:17:31Come on, here!
01:17:32Look!
01:17:33Look!
01:17:34Look at you!
01:17:35Don't even look like an alien!
01:17:36Ambrose!
01:17:37Will you get rid of this autograph hunter?
01:17:39Stop here!
01:17:40That's him!
01:17:41Look!
01:17:42Don't!
01:17:43And help me!
01:17:44You've said what I don't do!
01:17:45Don't you understand?
01:17:46I'm the fourth alien!
01:17:47I am a personal friend from the leader of your people!
01:17:54Come on!
01:17:55Let's go!
01:17:56Let's go!
01:17:57Hey!
01:17:58Green watch the alien!
01:18:00Green watch the alien!
01:18:02Green watch the alien!
01:18:04Green watch the alien!
01:18:06Green watch the alien!
01:18:20Johnson504
01:18:23Green watch the alien!
01:18:26Green watch the alien!
01:18:28Hey!
01:18:30Hey!
01:18:33What's going on?
01:18:56I don't know what's happening.
01:19:03I don't know, I can't tell you about one second.
01:19:10Out my way, Desmond.
01:19:12No, I don't want...
01:19:15Out of the way, out of the way, we're going to get here.
01:19:26Thank you very much.
01:19:28Out of the way, Desmond.
01:19:58Did you rent a space podule, Exxon Mark IV?
01:20:07Erm...
01:20:08So what if we did?
01:20:09It was supposed to be returned five weeks ago.
01:20:11It crashed, actually.
01:20:13Well, I hope you're fully covered.
01:20:17Where is it?
01:20:19Well, there's not much left, and that's in a museum.
01:20:26I suppose you'd better come back with me, then.
01:20:31What are you dressed like that for?
01:20:34Oh, nothing, really.
01:20:38You're coming or what?
01:20:39I can't hang around.
01:20:45You're coming or what?
01:20:46I can't hang around.
01:20:47You're coming or what?
01:20:48I can't hang around.
01:20:52I can't hang around you, my husband.
01:20:55I can't hang around!
01:20:56You're coming.
01:20:57I can't hang around here!
01:20:58I can't hang around.
01:20:59So is that the people that DON'T TELL YOU ARE
01:22:51Now, I'd like to have a little talk with you because, um, well, for one reason or another,
01:22:57some of the things that have happened today have obviously excited the two of us, haven't
01:23:00they?
01:23:00I should introduce myself sweetly.
01:23:02Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
01:23:04Now, this, um, this whole shebang.
01:23:06Everybody wonders why we walk around with this blank expression on our face.
01:23:23There goes that crazy bunch, they're really out to lunch, that bunch of jerks from outer space.
01:23:31We're morons.
01:23:34Welcome to our pleasure dome.
01:23:36Welcome to our home, our home.
01:23:38Up in the sky.
01:23:41We're morons.
01:23:43People say we've gone too far.
01:23:45But we don't know where we are and we don't know why.
01:23:49Superbird has landed on your motorway.
01:23:55No one could have guessed what was inside.
01:24:00Hey, look, they're drinking tea.
01:24:02Hey, look, it's on TV.
01:24:04Turn on and see two worlds collide.
01:24:07We're morons.
01:24:10Welcome to our pleasure dome.
01:24:12Welcome to our mobile home.
01:24:14Up in the sky.
01:24:17We're morons.
01:24:19People say we've gone too far.
01:24:21But we don't know where we are and we don't know why.
01:24:26We don't know why.
01:24:27Someone out there's watching me and I don't know trying to predict what I will do.
01:24:44What have we got to lose?
01:24:47I think I'll buy some shoes.
01:24:49Maybe a home computer too.
01:24:52Travel incognito on the underground.
01:24:58Form ourselves into a tidy queue.
01:25:02We'll charge enormous fees to mention frozen peas.
01:25:07We'll paint our faces green and we're a slot machine.
01:25:12We'll take a peaceful nap if we've got time to.
01:25:16Clap your hands if you're a moron too.
01:25:20Hey, hey, we're morons.
01:25:21And we cruise the stratosphere.
01:25:24What a space for ear to ear.
01:25:26There's nothing there.
01:25:29We're morons.
01:25:31And we come from outer space.
01:25:33We're going to another place.
01:25:35But we don't know where.
01:25:37And we don't much care.
01:25:39Morons.
01:25:40Welcome to our pleasure dome.
01:25:42Welcome to our mobile home.
01:25:44Up in the sky.
01:25:47We're morons.
01:25:48People say we've gone too far.
01:25:51But we don't know where we are.
01:25:53But we don't know where we are.
01:25:53And we don't know why.
01:25:56We're morons.
01:25:57And we cruise the stratosphere.
01:26:00We've got a space for ear to ear.
01:26:02There's nothing there.
01:26:05We're morons.
01:26:06And we come from outer space.
01:26:09We're going to another place.
01:26:11But we don't know where.
01:26:13And we're morons.
01:26:15We're not at all nor we're morons.
01:26:16Welcome to our pleasure dome.
01:26:17You're welcome to our mobile home.
01:26:19Welcome to our mobile home.
01:26:21Enjoy.
01:26:22You
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