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00:11Castle Ducula
00:12Castle Ducula
00:13Home for many centuries to a dreadful dynasty
00:17Of vicious vampire ducks
00:20The Counts of Ducula
00:22Legend has it that these foul beings can be destroyed by a stake through the heart
00:28Or exposure to sunlight
00:30This does not suffice however
00:32For they may be brought back to life
00:34By means of a secret rite
00:36That can be performed once a century
00:38When the moon is in the 8th house of Aquarius
00:41Blood
00:42The latest reincarnation did not run according to plan
00:51In the heart of Transylvania
00:53In the vampire hall of fame
00:55Yeah, there's none of our fires any other
00:58Ducula
00:59He won't fight Beast the Man
01:02Cause he's a vegetarian
01:03And things never have been planned for
01:06Ducula
01:07If you're looking for some fun
01:10You can always count upon
01:12So worry about what they call
01:15Ducula
01:15He he
01:16Count Ducula
01:18He he he he
01:19He he he he
01:26Be warned dear viewer
01:30This place is the most horrible
01:32The most foul and reeking spot
01:35Known to man or beast
01:37No other place in our lonely planet Earth compares to this ghastly plot.
01:44And I don't mean this episode, I mean, Castle Ducula, on a wet Tuesday.
01:52Forty days of rain.
01:54Huh, will it ever stop?
01:57Ooh, at least it's warmer today.
02:00What does the forecast say?
02:04Looks like rain.
02:07Enter.
02:09Good morning, sir.
02:11And what's good about it, Igor?
02:12Oh, it's so ghoulishly gloomy, sir.
02:15Everything's so dismal and dreary.
02:17Even the manacles in the dungeon are rusting nicely, milor.
02:21Ah, carrot juice.
02:22Ooh, hey, just the thing.
02:30That's not carrot juice.
02:32No, sir.
02:33It's a 1963 Yugoslavian RH negative.
02:37Oh, well, that's all.
02:38Ah!
02:43Ah!
02:44Ah!
02:45Ah!
02:46Ah!
02:47Ah!
02:47Ah!
02:48Ah!
02:48Ah!
02:49Ah!
02:51Ah!
02:51Ah!
02:51Ah!
02:52Ah!
02:53Ah!
02:54Ah!
02:54Ah!
03:04Ah!
03:05Ah!
03:06Ah!
03:06Ah!
03:07Ah!
03:07Ah!
03:07Ah!
03:08Ah!
03:10How can we get away from this appalling Transylvanian drizzle?
03:15Perhaps Spain, milor.
03:18Spain, huh? Do they have any rain there?
03:20Mainly on the plains.
03:21Oh, well, that won't worry us. We'll go by capsule as usual, eh?
03:27The Duculars have always found a warm welcome in Spain, sir,
03:31at your cousin Don Diego.
03:32Oh, warm welcome. Friendly kind of guy, huh?
03:35No, sir, a pyromaniac.
03:36Oh, he's nothing of the sort, Mr. Igor.
03:40He just likes setting fire to things.
03:44Hmm, Spain, huh?
03:45Let's see now, whereabouts is...
03:47Oh, boy, it is hot.
03:50Just what we all need.
03:52Hey, pack my broccoli sandwiches, Nanny.
03:55We're off on our holidays.
03:57Oh, I love holidays.
03:59Oh, I'm so happy.
04:02I could give you a hug.
04:04No, no, no, Nanny, please.
04:06Don't touch me.
04:08I, um...
04:09I've got something highly infectious.
04:11Well, as long as it isn't catching, I don't mind.
04:15It's a holiday.
04:16It better be worth it.
04:18If Don Diego is as evil as they say,
04:22perhaps some of it will rub off on the ground.
04:25By the ladle-hosen of my great-grandfather.
04:30What's that noise?
04:33Hmm, someone is in trouble at Castle Docula.
04:37But I, Dr. Von Goosefink, the great-vampire Vanquisher,
04:43will bring all my skills into play to save them!
04:47Come to the Kessel!
04:56Okay.
04:58So.
04:59Evoke from here.
05:00Is that such a bad idea?
05:04Hello?
05:05What's this?
05:07Hmm, secret tunnel to Castle Docula.
05:11Mm-hmm.
05:12Oh-oh.
05:13Good.
05:13So.
05:14We shall enter the castle from the underneath.
05:19Ah.
05:21Now.
05:21Eh.
05:22What did I do with that vampirometer?
05:25No, I had it a minute ago.
05:28Gee, you put something down,
05:30and next minute, bang, it's gone.
05:34So.
05:36There it is.
05:38Spain!
05:39I can't wait!
05:40Ha-ha!
05:40Speed, race and failure, and, uh, step on it!
05:55Ah!
05:57Wonderful Spain!
05:58Huh!
05:59I can't wait to get out there in that sunshine!
06:02Huh?
06:03Huh?
06:04Huh?
06:04Huh?
06:05Achoo!
06:05Oh, that's some...
06:07That's some dusty tunnel.
06:09Hey!
06:09Hey, you!
06:10You over there, have you seen a vampire around here?
06:13Goosewing!
06:13What are you doing here in Spain?
06:16Spain?
06:17Gee, I knew that tunnel was...
06:19was long, but...
06:21but this is ridiculous!
06:23I...
06:23I must have taken a wrong turning back someplace.
06:27Oh, please excuse me.
06:28I'm so sorry.
06:29Hmm.
06:30Oh, well.
06:31No time to waste.
06:32Ah!
06:33Down to the beach at once.
06:35Ah!
06:36Smells like Nanny's burnt dinner again!
06:38I wonder what we're having.
06:43Oh, yes!
06:44Curtains!
06:45Ooh!
06:46Hmm.
06:46We don't usually have curtains on a Tuesday.
06:48We usually...
06:49Curtains!
06:50Ah!
06:52Ah!
06:53Ah!
06:54Help!
06:55Help!
06:56Help in here!
06:56Fire!
06:57Fire!
06:58Ah!
07:00Ah!
07:03Help!
07:04Ah!
07:04Ah!
07:05Don't worry, my little duckie-boos!
07:08Nanny's here!
07:09She knows what to do!
07:12Ah!
07:14Ah!
07:14Oh, Nanny!
07:15Nanny, wait!
07:15I'm back!
07:17Ooh!
07:18Ooh!
07:22Ooh!
07:23Ooh!
07:23Ooh!
07:23Well, I suppose you have extinguished the flames, Nanny.
07:27Did I?
07:28Ooh!
07:29I thought I put them out!
07:32Flooded out again.
07:34I thought we came to Spain to get away from it all.
07:42Ooh!
07:43Ooh!
07:43Ooh!
07:45Ooh!
07:46Ooh!
07:47Who is this who puts out our funfires?
07:49Ooh!
07:50I love the funfair!
07:51It's all them roundabouts!
07:53What is he talking about, eh?
07:55Take no notice!
07:56Take no notice!
07:56It's just that we...
07:58We...
07:58We...
07:58We...
07:59We forgot to turn right at the roundabout, you see.
08:02And that's why we're here, admiring your really, um...
08:06Um...
08:07Beautiful boots!
08:08Goodness, goodness, is that the time?
08:10Come on, you two, we'll miss the...
08:11Miss the, um...
08:12Coconuts!
08:13Coconuts?
08:14I always miss the coconut on the coconut shine!
08:18The only thing she wouldn't miss is her head!
08:20I would be happy to make arrangements!
08:22How wonderful to growl before a man of such intellect and sensitivity!
08:27Igor, I don't really want Nanny without a head!
08:31Why ever not, sir?
08:32Well, he wouldn't be able to see where she was going!
08:35So, Milord?
08:36Oh, she might bump into things!
08:40What are you laughing at?
08:42I don't like you laughing!
08:44Laughing?
08:44Laughing?
08:45We're not laughing!
08:46No, we're...
08:47We're smiling...
08:48Noisily at your boots!
08:49See?
08:50Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely boots!
08:53Lovely...
08:54I ain't very keen on the laces!
08:56Nanny!
08:57Listen, how would you like to be side salad to a paella?
09:01Well...
09:02I'll talk it over with my friends and come back to you on that one next week!
09:06Do not try to fool with me!
09:08I am Juan Jose Maria Velasquez Campari Ortega Mabea Maniana Calamari's Instituto Havana Banana Quevasas Humanos!
09:14In that case, I'll need a bigger autograph book!
09:16Don't move, I'll be back in a couple of days, right?
09:19Wrong!
09:19Wrong!
09:19Wrong!
09:20You're staying right here in a total daze!
09:22Ha-ha-ha!
09:22Ha-ha-ha-ha!
09:23Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
09:25Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
09:28Here!
09:29See?
09:30Did you say as you was one umbrella-rubeller-queue at the bus stop?
09:36More or less.
09:38Then who's the other one?
09:39Enough of this!
09:40Oh, more than enough of this!
09:42Seize them!
09:43Bind them, prod them, jab them, and be generally unpleasant to them!
09:46And one last thing!
09:48Yes?
09:49Are you really liking my boots?
09:57Seniors y senores!
10:00Juniors y juniores!
10:02I, Juan José María de-
10:04No, no, no, no, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.
10:06I, JJMVCOMMCIHBQBS Manus,
10:11have the honor to present His Honorable Highness-
10:17Excuse me.
10:18The dirty, diabolical, dastardly, and disgusting, Don Diego!
10:29I really must cut down from 40 explosions today. It's ruining my health.
10:35Here they are, our nastiest one. The trespassing tourists ruin a perfectly good blaze.
10:43Ah, Don Diego, sir.
10:47Don Diego, sir. May I introduce your Transylvanian cousin, Count Dracula?
10:50Hmm, this is Don Diego, Count Dracula? Why didn't you say so? Release them at once. Take them to the
11:02greater hall.
11:07My humblest apologies, my dear Count Dracula?
11:11you okay now I am NOT cuz him you set fire to my castle you must be crazy no
11:19no no only have a credit and I think I know which half I'm talking oh boy oh my
11:27darling duck is not in danger then here I'm missing all the horrible bits did you
11:37hear something oh they are everywhere watching me one of them but what should
11:46you yes all of them see just because I taller the handsome and brave and good
11:52and kind and wonderful and I I happen to chop one or two of the villagers into
11:58tiny little bits now and again as it is like a me you have to chop them out
12:07how many did you you know you chop up there well all of them oh oh just just
12:15you know just all of them huh well except for the really fatter ones I save them
12:21for tonight tonight tonight is fiesta for all vampires from all over Spain there is
12:26music and a finger buffet with a real fingers then then we chop up a whole
12:35village and there is bingo to follow stop it stop this stop this time Diego no I
12:41cannot let you do this oh you don't like a bingo okay we play something else you
12:46choose well I wouldn't mind playing no listen I mean you cannot chop up the whole
12:51village it's not right I will do anything to stop you anything
12:56anything anything then tonight you will fight the most horrible bull in all of Spain
13:04el loco oh okay listen if I fight el loco will you let the villagers go I will I will
13:14let
13:15bits of them go all of them go on no fight I can't even keep the noses no no noses
13:23okay but
13:24remember hello loco is the most a nasty thing on a four legs he will rip on your body and
13:31the bits you didn't even know you have I'm not afraid of you Don Diego or el loco
13:59you know the best way back to Transylvania I believe the subway is very reliable doctor
14:11oh it's no good Igor I'm gonna have to fight this bull not as if bull fighting were a suitable
14:18occupation for a duck of your standing it's not something you can get your your teeth into if you'll
14:26excuse the expression hey see at us love you hear that count ducky was going to fight the bull
14:33he is what do you think will happen Dimitri the ducks going to quack up he'll go down for the
14:40count
14:40his goose is cooked it'll be his swan song
14:46that's enough puns Dimitri or he won't get much further in life either quilly
14:54well I don't think it's right at all you get his nice cape dirty and who's going to clean it
15:02I'd like
15:03to know you don't want to go around being silly and acting the goat that's it acting the goat or
15:13rather
15:13acting the bull hmm what do you mean like the nanny is her we dress her up as the bull
15:19and you'll fight
15:20her she's big enough are you saying I'm fat mr. Igor yes nanny oh wow that's all right then won't
15:30they notice though Igor not if you distract them sir you could change into a bat and sink your teeth
15:38into
15:38a few young maidens yeah or even better I could sing yeah play my banjo or juggle you know I'm
15:47a
15:47very good juggler did you say jugular sir oh I do love a decent jugular maybe I could do all
15:53three hey
15:54why not
16:01come nanny we must put our plan into action before tonight's fight
16:05tonight's fight
16:17what a wonderful night honey night like tonight I could burn down half of a Spain ah hello are you
16:26having a good time is the blood curdled enough for you just a second hmm there's uh there's something
16:34familiar about you I can't think what it is oh master juggler I haven't seen you look so nice since
16:46you
16:46had those photographs taken in your rob pursuit yes that was very embarrassing nanny go on with you
16:54you look lovely nanny I was 17 and a half come nanny time for you to change well if I
17:03must but I'm not happy
17:07the changing room is just here oh dear mr. Igor
17:16time sir for the performance I'm afraid so it is hey where's nanny in the changing room sir I'll let
17:23her out
17:28wow wow wow nanny that's a great disguise oh anyone who didn't know would say you were a real bull
17:36all right all right don't get carried away now listen remember I do my song first and then you
17:42prance about a bit then I do the juggling tell a couple of jokes and you know we finish off
17:47with
17:47just you know just a little bit of a fight that's us that's us nanny we're on we're on it's
17:53our music
17:54let's go hey watch watch it nanny nanny I'm the star you know sir I feel I should point out
18:01you've got
18:02the wrong nanny I mean bull oh no he's not dear than I uh wait a minute hold this a
18:20second
18:20ha you're a vampire of course I am we all are want me to bite someone for you ha ha
18:29ha vampires vampires
18:32ha ha ha ha quick nanny the young master needs you oh oh oh ducky booze oh oh
18:48Thank you so much, Nanny. How thoughtful.
18:53I'm coming, my darlin' duck! It's all right! Nanny's here!
19:00Nanny? Nanny coming to help?
19:03Oh. Wait a minute. Who's this?
19:06Oh. Oh. Oh, it's Al O'Loco!
19:11Whoa!
19:15It's still, monster!
19:17How am I supposed to throw you in if you won't lie down yet?
19:26Away you go!
19:34I'll get my hands on you. In two minutes, you're a roast-a-beef.
19:45Thank goodness we managed to get rid of that horrid bull.
19:49Whoa!
19:50Whoa!
19:54And if those blood-curdling screams don't curdle your blood, then bully for you.
20:01Good night out there, whatever you are.
20:07kurquedoq
20:34If your feelings
20:35But he's back home by daylight
20:37Docula
20:40I'm kicking
20:41If you saw it all
20:43Or you're a little
20:45It's certain you run into
20:47Docula
20:49If your heart goes
20:51Or your mind goes
20:53Man you had a rush with
20:56Docula
20:57So watch out for the
21:00Beware of the
21:01Empire you'll never meet with
21:04Docula
21:04Count Docula
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