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00:11Castle Ducula, home for many centuries to a dreadful dynasty of vicious vampire ducks,
00:20the Counts of Ducula. Legend has it that these foul beings can be destroyed by a stake through
00:27the heart or exposure to sunlight. This does not suffice, however, for they may be brought back to life
00:33by means of a secret rite that can be performed once a century when the moon is in the eighth
00:40house of
00:40Aquarius. Blood. The latest reincarnation did not run according to plan.
00:59He won't bite beast a man, cause he's a vegetarian, and things never were planned for.
01:06Ducula. If you're looking for some fun, you can always count upon,
01:12so while a black one they call Ducula. Count Ducula.
01:35On a jagged finger of rock stands Castle Ducula, known only in the nearby village as Castle Ducula.
01:46It is the grim and fearful home of the last in a long line of vampire barons, Count Ducula.
01:59It's Nanny Master Ducula with your hot cocoa and chocky-bickies.
02:04Oh, good. Come in, Nanny.
02:07Nanny, why can't you come through the door like everyone else?
02:11Oh, the door. Oh, I'd forgotten all about it. Hang on.
02:17I'm very sorry, my lord.
02:19I might have been killed.
02:20I know, sir.
02:21I haven't paid the electricity bill from the last time you brought me back to life.
02:25Yes, sir, I...
02:26Ah, got it right this time. Come in.
02:30Nanny, now look what you've done.
02:32Oh, Ducky Booze, you said to come through the door.
02:36I give up. I just give up.
02:38Coco and chocky-bickies.
02:40Oh, chocky-bickies.
02:42There.
02:44I do wish you wouldn't do that, Nanny.
02:47Not half as much as I do.
02:49Last time you killed three chambermaids and a footman.
02:52Oh, they was only part time, sir.
02:55And the little blonde one never just hit the picture rails.
02:58That is it.
02:59I am not standing any more of this.
03:01I am giving up my title. I am going to run away to South America.
03:05Oh, sir. Think of the family name.
03:08Huh. Who wants to think, Ducula?
03:10Sir, come with me into the picture gallery.
03:14Let me remind you of your proud inheritance.
03:17Uh-uh. I am not coming.
03:18Nanny will have to stay here while she rebuilds the dining room.
03:22So, what's one more time?
03:23Oh, sir.
03:28Here. Hang on, you lot.
03:30What's up, gov?
03:31I like the look of that there castle.
03:34What's the guidebook say?
03:36Um, hang about.
03:37Castle Ducula, ancestral home of the Ducula family,
03:41traditional vampire barons of Transylvania.
03:43Here, gov. Vampires.
03:44Oh, don't be stupid.
03:46It just says that to get the tourists in.
03:47Get on with it.
03:48All right.
03:49High-quality dungeons, good assortment, antique prisoners,
03:52most family silver, already nicked by Butler,
03:54but big collection, family portraits.
03:57Beware of the werewolf.
03:58Werewolf, eh?
04:00Oh, uh, when's full moon?
04:02Next week, chief.
04:03Oh, well, that's all right then.
04:04So, they got a lot of, uh, valuable paintings, haven't they?
04:08Could be our best job since we've done the Tower of London.
04:14And this, my lord, is Count Ducula III, a delightful portrait of his grace at an early age,
04:22biting the neck of his teddy bear.
04:25Igor, I really don't want to hear about these old fogies.
04:28Old fogies, sir.
04:30They were ancestors to be proud of.
04:33Oh, yeah.
04:34Why, I remember, my lord, when your great-great-grandfather.
04:39Come on, lads.
04:41Another 50 foot will have reached the picture gallery.
04:44Have you got the, uh...
04:47Oh, chief, watch that.
04:49Makes your flesh creep, doesn't it?
04:51Must be the werewolf.
04:53Come on.
04:54Now, give it a tickle with me feather duster, and it'll be as right as rain.
05:01Oh, she's tickling it with a feather duster.
05:03No wonder it's owling.
05:04Hang on a mo, lads.
05:05There.
05:08Uh, what's up, chief?
05:13What, chief?
05:21Hey, what was that?
05:22Sir?
05:23A series of thuds like falling bodies hitting the deck.
05:25That'll be Nanny making pastry, my lord.
05:27Oh.
05:28Shall I continue?
05:29Yes, please don't.
05:30Thank you, sir.
05:31Then we come, sir, to your great-uncle's great-uncle, the Archduck Maganza.
05:37Look, Igor, I don't want to know about my boring old ancestors.
05:40Boring, my lord?
05:41The Archduck was far from boring.
05:44He was a famous Egyptologist.
05:45He spent a lifetime searching the Great Pyramid.
05:48Pyramid?
05:49Where they buried the pharaohs?
05:51Exactly, sir.
05:53Isn't my family interested in anything but tombs?
05:55A pyramid, sir, is much more than a tomb.
05:58It is the storehouse of Price's treasures.
06:01In his memoirs, the Archduck wrote of strange discoveries within that massive monument.
06:07Strange discoveries?
06:08A three-wheeled deck chair.
06:10That's strange.
06:11A simulated snakeskin extendable canary lead.
06:14And that's strange.
06:16Hmm, not only that, but one day, as he penetrated the secret depths of the pharaoh Upshi's tomb,
06:22he stumbled upon a great stone altar.
06:25Ow!
06:26Aha!
06:27What great stupid idiot left there there!
06:29Then, as he mused on this marvelous discovery...
06:32Marvelous?
06:33I nearly broke my blessed foot.
06:35There entered two strange figures with weird hair, looking like the Walking Dead.
06:41I know, I know.
06:42Sylvester and Stallone, huh?
06:43Not so, my lord.
06:44Of course they weren't.
06:46No, my lord, they were...
06:47Who might?
06:48High priest of the sun god Ra, and my assistant Newby.
06:52Oh, pleased to meet you, I'm sure.
06:54Then, everything went black, and the Archduck knew no more.
07:00Knew no more what?
07:01Knew no more than I do where the mystic saxophone lay hidden.
07:05The mystic saxophone?
07:07What the Archduck was searching for, my lord.
07:09Well, you never mentioned that.
07:11I'm sure I did, my lord.
07:12No, you did not.
07:14Did he mention the mystic saxophone?
07:16I don't know.
07:20Did he mention the mystic saxophone?
07:23No.
07:24No.
07:25No.
07:25Uh, no.
07:26He never mentioned it.
07:27You see, you never mentioned it.
07:29I do apologize, sir.
07:31My lord, it's rather stuffy in here.
07:33Excuse me while I open the window.
07:43Nanny's pastry?
07:44Nanny's pastry, sir.
07:45Yes, the mystic saxophone.
07:47Yeah, now that does sound interesting.
07:49Tell me more.
07:50It was the mystic saxophone of the pharaoh Zoltan Simun the 17th.
07:55And the legend tells that anyone who plays it has the power over life and death,
08:00over all the forces of the universe.
08:03Wow, wowie, wow.
08:03I could be famous.
08:04I could fill the Hollywood Bowl.
08:06Madison Square Gardens, the Transylvania Roxy.
08:11Oh, what have I done?
08:14No matter.
08:15Think what he will.
08:16The dark powers of the mystic saxophones will lead him not to stardom, but to a life of evil.
08:25Yes, yes, that's it, that's it.
08:26We'll find the mystic saxophone.
08:28Igor, Igor, you're the greatest.
08:30We're off.
08:30We're off to Egypt.
08:32Come on, come on.
08:33Oh, muah, muah, muah, muah, muah, muah.
08:35Please, sir.
08:36What will the neighbors say?
08:39Nah, forget the portraits.
08:40No one's going to want to buy them anyway.
08:42What we're going for is this here, mystic saxophone.
08:46It'll fetch millions.
08:47Great, chief.
08:48Yeah, where is it?
08:49Oh, that's a tricky bit.
08:51Egypt.
08:51Egypt.
08:52Egypt.
08:53Egypt.
08:54That's about 3,000 miles.
08:56What, as the crow flies?
08:57Oh, shut up.
08:58Now, how are we going to get there?
09:04Now, Egypt, Pally of the Kings.
09:11Oh, what was happening?
09:13Oh, I don't like it, chief.
09:25We're here.
09:26Come on, everybody.
09:29Isn't this thick-poiled carpet lovely?
09:32That, Nanny, is the Sahara.
09:34Well, I knew it wasn't Broadloom.
09:37That's the best mirage I've seen all week.
09:40Oh, that's not a mirage.
09:41I bet you 50 piastres it is.
09:43You're on.
09:44Right.
09:45Watch this.
09:48I told you, sir.
09:51They're funny-looking mountains, aren't they, chief?
09:53Mountains?
09:54Stone of crows.
09:55They're pyramids.
09:56Oh, Transylvanian pyramids.
10:00Egyptian pyramids.
10:01We're in Egypt.
10:03Oh, that daft duck's given us a free trip to Egypt.
10:08Come on, lads.
10:10We'll get the mystic saxophone before they do.
10:15Must be a window somewhere.
10:25Isn't it lovely wallpaper?
10:28No, sir.
10:29Let me give her a pasting.
10:31Look, sir.
10:32What?
10:32A statue.
10:33Of course it's not me.
10:34I don't look anything like that.
10:35I mean, sir, that it is a statue to guard the dead.
10:38A statue of the god Anubis.
10:41Master Ducular, close your eyes.
10:43Close my eyes?
10:44I won't have you looking at people with no clothes on.
10:47What are you talking about?
10:48Not a nudist, nanny.
10:51Anubis.
10:51It's a statue of Anubis.
10:53Oh, what's the use?
10:55Where are we now, Igor?
10:56We are in the lower chamber, sir.
10:59You can tell by the hieroglyphics.
11:01Aha.
11:01And don't tell me.
11:02You know when you're in the upper chamber from the lower
11:05aglyphics.
11:07I would rather not, if I may say so, my lord.
11:10Know that.
11:12Well, come on, then.
11:13While we're at it, we'll see if we can find out
11:15where they buried your sense of humor.
11:18Sense of humor.
11:23Hey, Jatislav?
11:25Yes, Dimitri?
11:26What are they calling a pyramid with windows in it?
11:30How should I know what they are calling
11:32a pyramid with windows in it?
11:34A tomb with a view.
11:36A tomb with a view.
11:39Where is this pyramid with windows?
11:42Oh.
11:43Flap off, you silly old bat.
11:48Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
11:50Ooh.
11:51Well, there's only one thing for it, lads.
11:53Push that, Chief.
11:54We'll have to use the door.
11:55Come on.
12:00Oh, look at the mess in here.
12:03I wish I'd brought my feather duster.
12:06Or even your feather brain.
12:07Yes, that'd be nice.
12:09We must be getting close to the sacred burial place of Zooten Simoon.
12:13How do you mean feather brain?
12:22What is that, sir?
12:23According to the guidebook, it's a ritual chest.
12:25This is where the mummified entrails of the dead are stored.
12:29Oh, sir.
12:30It's home from home.
12:32And look at this.
12:33A statue of the goddess Circuit, guardian of the dead.
12:37Circuit?
12:38Circuit.
12:38It's very small.
12:40That's because she was a short circuit.
12:42A short circuit.
12:43Transylvania Roxy, here I come.
12:46Now, you lot.
12:47We're going to set a trap for Count Duck-Hiller.
12:50Stay with me and...
12:58What was that?
12:59Well, it couldn't be Nanny's pastry this time, sir.
13:05So, when Count Duck-Hiller and his lot comes through the door...
13:10Here, pay attention.
13:12Yeah, I am paying attention.
13:13That, you idiot, is a mummy.
13:14Hey, I'm over here.
13:15Eh?
13:16Oh, yeah.
13:17Sorry, Gov.
13:17Here, Gov.
13:18Oh, what now?
13:19Why are you talking to that mummy?
13:21Because...
13:22Eh?
13:22Oh, Gordon Bennett.
13:24Listen.
13:25Yes, Gov.
13:25What happens is this.
13:27They comes in through the door.
13:30Through the door.
13:31Trips over the rope.
13:32Over the rope.
13:33Down comes the slab.
13:35Slab.
13:35Wallop.
13:36Wallop.
13:36And the mystic saxophone is mine.
13:38And the mystic saxophone is yours.
13:39Haha.
13:40That's clever, that is.
13:41Which door?
13:41It doesn't make any difference.
13:43Because...
13:43Shh.
13:44Listen.
13:44They're coming.
13:45Against the wall.
13:45Quick.
13:46No, no, Nanny.
13:47This is the door.
13:48Are you sure, Ducky Boos?
13:50Ducky Boos?
13:51Yeah, yeah.
13:53He's gonna be Squashy Boos, eh?
13:54Haha.
13:55Squashy Boos.
13:56I think this is the door.
13:58Oh, all right.
13:59Have it your own way.
14:01There you are.
14:02I told you this was the way.
14:04Well, Nanny, no one can say you haven't had a lot of openings in life.
14:08Come on, Igor.
14:09Yes, sir.
14:10That's very good, sir.
14:11Openings in life.
14:16I don't believe it.
14:18I just don't believe it.
14:19I think it was meant to be a joke, Gov.
14:21Not that, you brainless.
14:22Oh, I'm just going back.
14:23Something I saw.
14:24Oh, oh, oh.
14:25Now we'll nab him.
14:26Ah, here it is.
14:27A useful piece of rope.
14:27Oh, no.
14:33Okay.
14:34Elastic bands in place, are they?
14:36Yes, Gov.
14:37Now, listen, you lot.
14:38We pushes this here rock along the corridor, okay?
14:43Okay.
14:43When we reach full stretch, the peg goes in the hole, okay?
14:48Okay.
14:49Then when Count Flippindacular and his family restrainers
14:54comes along, we pulls the peg out and wallop, okay?
14:58Okay.
14:59All together, then.
15:00Push!
15:01Ah!
15:02Push!
15:03Ah!
15:04Push!
15:06Ah!
15:06All right.
15:07Rock the peg in pigs.
15:09Rock the peg in the hole.
15:12Oh, boy, you had the peg.
15:13Oh, I'll give it to you.
15:15Oh, wait.
15:15Oh, here it is.
15:16I've got it, Gov.
15:17Whoa!
15:17Whoa!
15:22From what it said in the Archduck Maganser's memoirs,
15:26I think we must be nearing the ancient relic.
15:29No, no.
15:29We've never got away from her.
15:30Not Nanny, Master.
15:32The mystic saxophone.
15:33Yeah, you see, that was a joke there.
15:37Um, you see, Igor, I...
15:39Oh, forget it.
15:39From now on, we should look out for traps.
15:42Traps?
15:42Ingenious traps, meant to prevent anyone reaching the saxophone.
15:46I likes a bit of relish.
15:49Relic.
15:49Nanny, relic.
15:52Listen, don't talk such romantic rubbish, Igor.
15:55I mean, there aren't any...
16:02He's coming right.
16:03Oh, where am I?
16:06You are in the secret temple of the great god Ra.
16:10You who have trespassed in Upshi's sacred tomb.
16:13Oh.
16:14Oh, no.
16:15Who are you?
16:16I am Who Might, high priest of the great god Ra.
16:20And this is my assistant, Yubi.
16:22Delighted, I'm sure.
16:23Hello.
16:24Who might Yubi?
16:25Yes, I got that.
16:26No.
16:27Who might Yubi?
16:28I know, I know.
16:29You said that already.
16:30So you will not tell me.
16:31Well, I hardly need to, do I?
16:32We shall see about that.
16:34Yubi, you try.
16:35Oh, very well, Master.
16:36Listen.
16:37I am Yubi, right?
16:39No, wrong.
16:41I am, you are.
16:42Ah, there, Master.
16:44He is, you are.
16:45So you are, you are.
16:46I am not, I am not.
16:47Ah, you are not.
16:48He is not, you are, he is not.
16:49You are, you are.
16:51I am not, you are.
16:53Oh, call me not, you are.
16:54I am not, you are.
16:55I am not, not.
16:56I am Yubi.
16:58Look, let us get this sorted out, okay?
17:01I am not, not.
17:03Okay.
17:04Okay.
17:04Okay.
17:04I am not, you are, okay?
17:06Okay.
17:07But you are, who am I, and you are, you be.
17:10Okay?
17:11Okay.
17:11Who?
17:12But...
17:13Yes?
17:14Who might you be?
17:14Ah!
17:19I can't, I can't stand any more.
17:20No, of course you can't stand any more.
17:22We've tied you to the sacrificial altar and served you right.
17:24Yes, all who trespass in the great pharaoh Upshi's sacred tomb shall die.
17:29Mmm, oh.
17:31You are but the latest of many.
17:33Our legends say that when the great god Ra has had his fill of human sacrifice,
17:37then Upshi shall rise from the dead.
17:39Ah, human sacrifice.
17:41Well, more or less human sacrifice, I mean, give or take a feather.
17:44Now, wait a minute, you can't do this to me.
17:46Oh, you just hang around and see.
17:47We must, in order that our great pharaoh Upshi may rule again.
17:51Yes, he shall have his fill.
17:53Who? Ra?
17:54And Upshi rises.
17:56Hoorah, and Upshi rises.
17:58Hoorah, and Upshi rises.
17:59Hoorah, and Upshi rises.
18:01The rain in the morning.
18:02Excuse me.
18:03Put him in the long boat till he's sober.
18:04Excuse me.
18:05Put him in the long boat till he's sober.
18:07Oh, please, stop.
18:08Hey, wait a minute, huh?
18:09I think I'm going to be seasick.
18:11Well, not in here.
18:12Oh, excuse me.
18:14Oh, now then.
18:16It is Upshi, his cuss of his rapids.
18:18Here.
18:19You watch it, saucy.
18:21Upshi.
18:21Oh, yes, look at that, look.
18:26I don't believe it.
18:27Upshi rises, Upshi rises.
18:29Nothing of the sort.
18:30Don't be so silly.
18:32Here, who might you be?
18:33He knows us, he knows us.
18:35I see, he knows us, but who might you be?
18:38No, no, no, not again.
18:39I'm not going through all that again.
18:41Come on, Nanny, quick.
18:45Follow them.
18:49Oh, look at that.
18:50The poor soul.
18:51I expect he fell off his camel.
18:54No, Nanny, that's a mummy.
18:55Oh, of course.
18:56Oh, silly of me.
18:58I expect she fell off her camel.
19:01Oh, sir, wouldn't that look lovely in the lobby?
19:06Nanny, please don't.
19:07You'll drop it.
19:08What, sir?
19:09For goodness sake, drop it.
19:10Oh, very good, my lord.
19:12Now, look at that, look at it.
19:14The priceless converted to the worthless.
19:16By the brainless.
19:18Wait a minute.
19:19Look, that's it.
19:20That's the mystic saxophone.
19:22Did you hear that?
19:23I hope you wash that before you put it in your mouth.
19:27Silence, Nanny.
19:28A single blow, and we shall be the servants of the emperor of evil.
19:39Oh, what a noise.
19:41It's enough to waken the dead.
19:44The dead.
19:55Oh, oh, no.
19:57What's happening?
19:59Oh, I can't believe it.
20:01No, no, no, let go.
20:04Put me down.
20:06Oh, Nanny.
20:07Lord, make us stop.
20:09Yeah, now I think this is great.
20:12Up she rises, up she rises.
20:14Nanny, these gentlemen are requesting the next dance.
20:20I don't want to spoil the party, my lord,
20:23but it is nearly time to return to Transylvania.
20:26Oh, don't be a drag, Igor.
20:42See, I told you it was a mirage.
20:54But in the ancient desert sands, evil is once more making its foul way towards civilization.
21:06I did tell you it was time, my lord.
21:09All right, all right.
21:10Nobody likes a no-all.
21:13Look at them.
21:15Now that's a mirage.
21:18Good night out there, whatever you are.
21:32If you're feeling, or you're kind of,
21:36come be your man up with,
21:38Documa.
21:40If your knees go, and your teeth go,
21:44maybe you bumped into,
21:46Documa.
21:48He flies through the night, looking for a bite,
21:52but he's back home by daylight,
21:54Documa.
21:56I'm kicking.
21:58If you saw it all, or you're a little,
22:02it's certain you run into,
22:04Documa.
22:05If your heart goes,
22:07or your mind goes,
22:10man you had to rush with,
22:12Documa.
22:13So watch out for the,
22:15beware of the,
22:18who you'll never meet with,
22:20Documa.
22:21Count Docula.
22:38Come on.
22:38.
22:38.
22:38.
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