- 9 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:11Castle Ducula, home for many centuries to a dreadful dynasty of vicious vampire ducks,
00:20the Counts of Ducula. Legend has it that these foul beings can be destroyed by a stake through
00:27the heart or exposure to sunlight. This does not suffice, however, for they may be brought
00:33back to life by means of a secret rite that can be performed once a century when the moon
00:39is in the eighth house of Aquarius. Blood. The latest reincarnation did not run all into
00:47plan.
00:51In the heart of Transylvania, in the vampire hall of fame, yeah, there's not a vampire
00:57as any other. Ducula.
00:59He won't bite beast of man, cause he's a vegetarian, and things never were planned for. Ducula.
01:08If you're looking for some fun, you can know which kind of fun. The wild wild one they call
01:15Ducula.
01:16Ducula.
01:17Ducula.
01:18Ducula.
01:36Ducula.
01:39Ducula.
01:40Ducula.
01:40Ducula.
01:41Ducula.
01:43Ducula.
01:45Ducula.
01:48Ducula.
01:49Ducula.
01:51Ducula.
02:02Ducula.
02:03And the sea going up and down, up and down, and up and down.
02:11Well, according to my calculations, it must be somewhere in about a part of the world here.
02:22Really, Igor, I don't know how you could just lose a castle.
02:25Me, sir? I hardly think I'm to blame. You were the one.
02:29All right, all right. I must have set it off.
02:32But you must have left off the safety catch.
02:35Me, sir? Oh, no, sir. I was doing something dastardly with sulphur in the cellar.
02:39It was probably Nanny and her...
02:41Oh, yes. It's very easy to blame. Or Nanny.
02:45Actually, sir, it is very easy to blame Nanny.
02:49Well, let's do that, then. Nanny!
02:53Oh, I'll be glad to get back to our nice kitchen at home.
02:58How could you make a cup of tea in a silly little kitchen like that?
03:02Well, Nanny, if you hadn't lost the castle...
03:05Me lost the castle?
03:06You see, she admits it.
03:08Oh, dear. I'm sorry, Master Ducular. How did I do that?
03:13Never mind, Nanny. The point is we've got to find it soon.
03:17I suppose we're lucky to have found this ship so quickly.
03:20Quite so, sir, but I must say I don't like the look of the crew.
03:24I don't like the smell of them, either. I bet they've never heard of soap.
03:28Of course I've heard of soap. I eat a bar a week whether I've needs it or not.
03:35Well, Captain, it's a fine day to be a-searching for a castle. So on and...
03:43It be that, sir. Me and the crew here are just itching to get to our destination.
03:49That's probably because of those woolly jerseys you're wearing.
03:54Look, look, look here, Captain. The Master has cleverly worked out where we can find Castle Ducular.
04:01Yes. By my calculations, it should be just here.
04:06But that be the South Sea, sir. There be nothing but water down there, sir.
04:11Why, mile upon mile of water, a man can go mad down there, sir.
04:17Mad, I tell you. Mad!
04:25Well, you must have been down there quite a bit.
04:27Here. Anyone who talks to my captain like that, I bites their heads off.
04:31Oh, man, that's my own heart.
04:34Die. And anything else I can get me teeth into.
04:37Glad to see you two are getting on. Now, Captain, are we on course?
04:41Is the ship all ship-shaped? All hands ready for inspection?
04:45That's right, ducky-boos. See, they've got nice, clean fingernails.
04:49Quiet, Nanny. Let's get on with the search for Castle Ducular.
04:53Aye, aye, sir.
04:54Oh, but, ducky darling, if we just wait...
04:58It's Nanny for the last time. Do be quiet.
05:00All right. We know best. Don't wait for the castle.
05:04All right, lads. There's seafaring work to do.
05:10Ahem. Pull in the whimbrel sheets.
05:13Find the afterperson.
05:16Pull to your left side.
05:18Light dimension.
05:20Button the foreleks.
05:21Here. Yes.
05:22You mind shipmate. I'm the captain.
05:25Oh, ahem. Aye, aye, then, Captain.
05:27I'll, um...
05:28I'll just, uh, go below and see all the charts are, um...
05:32You know, probably charted.
05:35This is the life of Igor. The deep waves.
05:38And the smell of the spray.
05:40Sounds more like a cheap hairdresser's to me, sir.
05:42Hmm.
05:43What do you say, Mr. Igor?
05:46Shall we give the crew a taste of the cack?
05:50Unless they're vegetarian, and then we'll give them a taste of the celery.
05:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:54I feel a keel hauling would be diverting, sir.
05:58I'll get the captain and arrange one, Igor.
05:59Mind you, hauling a keel through this rough sea might be a little tricky, don't you think?
06:03Quite so, sir.
06:04Woo-wee! Get in, Harry!
06:07Woo-hoo! Look what Nanny's got for you!
06:10Wow, wowie! Nanny, that's fantastic!
06:13Make a great chandelier!
06:15What did you get it?
06:16Down at the blunt end, my love!
06:19Oh, well, thank you, Nanny.
06:20Uh, hmm.
06:22Yeah.
06:22Hey, wait a second.
06:24Haven't I seen this before?
06:25More than likely, sir.
06:27It's the ship's wheel.
06:28Ship's wheel?
06:29I didn't know ships have wheels.
06:31The ship's wheel.
06:33The ship's wheel.
06:34Then what's steering the ship?
06:38I would hazard a guess, sir, the whims of the tides.
06:42The whims of the...
06:43What?
06:44Then anything could be happening up there.
06:46We could be going in entirely the wrong direction or anything.
06:50Exactly so, sir.
06:52Ah, well, ah.
06:53Ah, well.
06:54Well, well.
06:54In that case, in that case.
06:57Fine.
06:58As leader of this expedition, I, Count Duckiller, of no fixed address at this exact moment,
07:04must make a decision.
07:07It's my duty to decide what we should do next.
07:15Right.
07:16I've made a decision.
07:17Listen to me, you two.
07:19I know what we should do.
07:21Yes.
07:22What would that be, sir?
07:23Obvious to me.
07:24We should...
07:26Mummy!
07:26Ah!
07:27Help!
07:27Help!
07:28Help!
07:29Help!
07:30Right, listen to me, you sons of naughty penguins.
07:33This here expedition ain't to find no castle.
07:37You mark my nasty words.
07:40This here duck is after treasure buried in the south seas.
07:44What do we do then, Captain?
07:45Well, this here is my revolting plan.
07:48Are we gonna bite their heads off?
07:50No, we're not you horrible, ain't you?
07:53We're gonna capture that soft duck and all his friends,
07:56and dump him on a desert island.
07:59Then the map will be all ours,
08:01and we can keep the treasure for ourselves.
08:04Oh, and then we divide it 50-50, right?
08:07Right.
08:0850 for you lot, and 50 for me.
08:11Ah, that's the way, Captain.
08:12We should go 50-50 as we can.
08:14Not only have I got the most muttliest crew anywhere,
08:21but how are we gonna capture this here bunch of idiots?
08:25We bites their heads off, then ties them up.
08:27For the last time, mister mate.
08:29If we bites their heads off,
08:30they won't be able to tell us where the map is, will they?
08:33Well, maybe we could bite the bits that don't talk.
08:36Ah, quiet. Let me think.
08:38We gotta capture them moist oath and cunning.
08:42We can't expect them to rush up here and give themselves a...
08:46Help! Help! Help! Captain, help!
08:48Help! We're in your hands!
08:50Well, well. Life's full of little surprises.
08:53A minute.
08:54The ship's adrift. We'll crash into an iceberg.
08:56Save us! Save us! We'll all die!
08:58Don't overdo it, sir.
09:00Captain, I believe you mislaid this.
09:04Well, shiver me timbers, you've nicked the wheel.
09:07That's a tying up and chucking over the side offense, that is.
09:11Ha! But you can't do that, can he, Igor?
09:14It does seem a little excessive, sir.
09:15Silence! Tie him to the yardarm, men!
09:20We ain't got a yardarm, Captain. I ate it last week.
09:23Well, what have we got, then?
09:24We got a comfy sofa.
09:26I can't say, tie him to the comfy sofa.
09:30There's nothing else, Captain.
09:31All right. Tie him to the comfy sofa.
09:38Go and fix the map, Mr. Mate.
09:40And then, it's off to find the treasure.
09:44You know, Dimitri, I get very nervous at sea.
09:48Don't worry, Sviatoslav. We're only two miles from land.
09:52Oh, only two miles?
09:54Yeah, straight down.
09:59I land on the boat bow, sir.
10:04A-ha!
10:04A-ha! A beautiful tropical island covered in snow.
10:09This is where you be getting off me hearties.
10:11You and your comfy sofa.
10:14Captain, Captain, think again.
10:16You can't maroon us like this with no food, no water, and just a comfy sofa.
10:24I've never heard of anything so cruel.
10:26Oh, I'm sure I could think of something more cruel, sir.
10:29Quiet, you two, or I'll have you minced and served up for tea.
10:33No, it's too late to try to be nice to us now, Captain.
10:36That's it, lugs! From overboard!
10:39Oh!
10:41Oh!
10:41Oh!
10:42Oh!
10:42You rats!
10:43You weasels!
10:44You skunks!
10:46You...
10:46You...
10:47Giraffes!
10:48Yes, you giraffes!
10:51Giraffes!
10:52Oh, sir.
10:53In your father's day, I would have been ordered to have them hung, drawn, quartered, squeezed,
11:00drilled, plugged, thumped, starched, iron-wrapped, and sent parcel-post.
11:04Oh, Mr. Igor, you and your games.
11:08Come on, now.
11:10What we all need is a nice cup of tea.
11:12Oh, yes.
11:13And a plate of cucumber sandwiches, too, I suppose.
11:15Oh, well, no.
11:16I don't think I've got any of those, sir.
11:19Well, cheese and pickle, don't.
11:21No.
11:22All we have to do is light the stone.
11:25Allow me, Nanny.
11:31Now, that's impressive.
11:32Pity we haven't got any crumpets.
11:35Oh, Nanny's got one of those, I'm sure.
11:39Here.
11:41No, Nanny.
11:42I said crumpet, not ta-rumpet.
11:44Don't forget, sir.
11:45With Nanny, the ears are willing, but the brain is weak.
11:48Oh, silly old Nanny.
11:50Fancy making that mistake.
11:52Oh, here we are.
11:54Some nice hot muffins.
11:56You'll have to put the jab on yourselves, though.
12:16Excuse me, sir.
12:17Hmm?
12:18Yeah.
12:20What is it, Igor?
12:21We appear to have visitors, sir.
12:24We appear to have real visitors?
12:27Oh, just when we're having tea.
12:29We'll tell them to wait in the library.
12:33Visitors?
12:37Um, would you like a muffin?
12:47It's a book.
12:52Film.
12:53It appears, um, history.
12:56Ah.
12:57Frozen mice.
12:59Um, sounds like, uh, ice.
13:01It appears, my lord, that these gentlemen discovered the North Pole a thousand years ago.
13:05The ice has preserved them.
13:08And good old Nanny's tea revived them.
13:11It has a quality that would wake the dead, sir.
13:13Oh, thank you, Mr. Igor.
13:15It seems they want us to follow them, sir.
13:18And they'd like us to bring the teapot.
13:20Oh.
13:21Follow them where?
13:23There's nowhere to go.
13:24This island's shrinking.
13:26Gracious, that stove thing is melting the ice.
13:28Help, help.
13:28Quick, Igor, do something.
13:29Nanny, have you packed the master's tuxedo?
13:32What?
13:32We're about to drown and you're looking for my tuxedo?
13:35Well, at least you'll drown like a gentleman, sir.
13:41Who is that tep dancing on my roof?
13:46Gee, no peace and quietness even at the North Pole.
13:51Oh!
13:52Oh!
13:53Oh!
13:54Now my sonar vampire radar is telling me a vampire castle nearby is.
13:59An Eskimo vampire?
14:02Oh!
14:03One goose think you're a genius.
14:06That's perfectly all right.
14:08And good-looking, too.
14:10Oh!
14:11You're too kind.
14:12Oh!
14:12Oh!
14:13If only all people were as nice as I am to me.
14:17No, then.
14:20Oh!
14:21Dacula!
14:22It is Count Dacula himself!
14:25Full speed ahead!
14:29Now to get rid of him once and forever.
14:32Ah!
14:33Ah!
14:38Ah!
14:41Wow!
14:42Look at those icicles!
14:44Not much use here, ducky-boos.
14:47Their handlebars would get all frozen up.
14:50Icicles, Nanny.
14:51Icicles, not bicycles.
14:53Excuse me, my lord.
14:54It's time for North Charades again.
15:02It appears, sir.
15:04All right.
15:04All right, Igor.
15:06You can see what he wants.
15:09The duck killers aren't short of a bit of brain power, you know.
15:12Nanny the teapot.
15:13Yes, my little ducky dear.
15:15A fresh pot coming up.
15:26Ah-ha!
15:28So, so!
15:29At last I am free!
15:33At last I am free!
15:38Somehow I get the feeling we should have left her in the ice bag.
15:41Tell me, little yellow nose.
15:45How can I reward you for my freedom?
15:54Well, if it's not too much trouble,
15:57you could help us find those mutinous penguins
16:00and get our charts back.
16:02Then off the north, away, away,
16:05we must find those penguins.
16:10I hope we don't have to put...
16:12Sorry.
16:14I hope we don't have to put up with this for the rest of the day.
16:17Take the long boat from the phaser!
16:24Look straight ahead.
16:26It's the pirate penguins.
16:27Row faster, you lazy lovers.
16:29We must get that map back.
16:30Hold the guard, you lazy lovers.
16:32Birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie.
16:35Cotton?
16:36Cotton?
16:37There's a Viking boat coming up fast,
16:39just behind us.
16:40Vikings!
16:41Give them a taste of our cannon fire!
16:43Oh, that's not fair, Captain.
16:44You said I could be the first to taste that.
16:46Get on with it, Mr. Mate!
16:48Fire across their bows!
16:51Ah!
16:52They're firing at us!
16:53Igor, what shall we do?
16:54Take out some insurance, sir.
16:56Oh, I'll protect my little ducky boos!
16:59Don't worry!
16:59I'll give those naughty penguins what for!
17:02That is quite right, sir.
17:04We must stand and fight with the honor of the Duculars.
17:07This is no time for cowardice.
17:09Just tell me when it is time, Igor, and I'll come back.
17:12Come on, Staggers lovers!
17:14Go away or we'll blow you out the warmer!
17:17Do your worst, vermin!
17:19That's Captain Vermin to you!
17:23Right, men!
17:23Load up and prepare to fire another salvo!
17:27Wax your spigots!
17:29Lengthen your fragled irons!
17:31Prepare to bite their heads off!
17:33Shut up, Mr. Mate!
17:35And prepare to let loose grape shot!
17:38Captain?
17:39Huh?
17:40Why don't we use pineapples?
17:42They'd hurt more than grapes.
17:46Ah, excuse me, have any of you gentlemen seen a vampire castle?
17:52It's sort of big and sinister, and, um...
17:55It has the little torrents with the cute little windows with that...
17:59Ah!
18:00Gee!
18:01That was only a polite question asking.
18:05Quick, here's our chance to escape!
18:07Jump, Nanny!
18:09Igor!
18:13I jacked my vampire duck!
18:16Oh, my reputation will be in tatters!
18:20Wherever that might be, I'll get you yet, Count Duckula!
18:25If I could just get to the controls!
18:29Your threat's a futile, Dr. Von Goosewing.
18:32Just get your finger out of my ear, would you?
18:36If you take your foot out of my nose, I'll take my finger out of your ear!
18:42Oh, look!
18:43That's just like our dining room!
18:47Hmm...
18:47Must be the heat sending her crazy!
18:50Now that you don't find dining rooms under water...
18:53Wait a minute!
18:53Wait a minute!
18:54It is our dining room!
18:57And now we're in the library!
19:02We've found Castle Duckula!
19:08Thank you for the assistance, Dr. Von Goosewing.
19:12You made this old flunky very happy.
19:16Oh, look what you've done to my vampirometer!
19:20It's squished to little pieces!
19:24Just wait till it's fixed and I'll...
19:26I'll get a lot of you!
19:28Uh-oh.
19:28Look, we're not out of trouble yet, Igor.
19:31Hmm...
19:31Things look decidedly grim this way too, sir.
19:34Oh!
19:34Igor!
19:35Nanny!
19:36This is it!
19:37The end of the line!
19:39The last of the Duckulas meets his end in the icy wastes!
19:45Ah, not quite the end, sir.
19:48Saved by the bell, sir.
19:50Or should that be the cuckoo?
20:01Boy, what about that?
20:02The luck of the Duckulas!
20:04Phew!
20:05We got away just in time!
20:07It's like I was trying to say to your ducky boos back on the pirate ship.
20:12Oh, we didn't have to go all the way to the North Pole and fight all those nasty penguins and
20:19all!
20:20Oh, Nanny, we had to get the castle back!
20:22It won't just come back on its own, you know.
20:25It...
20:25Oh, no!
20:27Of course!
20:27What an idiot!
20:28It always comes back on its own!
20:31At dawn, Eastern Transylvania Standard Time, sir.
20:35Nanny, I apologize.
20:36You were right all along.
20:38You tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen.
20:40Oh, no, ducky boos!
20:42You're clever, really!
20:44We all know that!
20:45Oh!
20:46Do you really think so?
20:48Oh, yes, sir!
20:50Oh!
20:51Then let's celebrate me having brains and getting us home safe and sound!
20:56Hooray!
20:57And up she rises!
20:58Hooray!
20:58So, as night settles on Castle Duckula, we leave it once again with its petrified peasants cringing at the bottom
21:07of the hill and with a warning to you all.
21:09Never go out at night with a duck call.
21:13You never know who might answer.
21:16Good night out there, whatever you are!
21:19Ha, ha, ha, ha!
21:21Ha, ha, ha!
21:27If your feelings...
21:29Oh, you're kind of...
21:31...could be your man up with...
21:33Dokuma!
21:35If your knees go, and your teeth go, maybe you'll bump into Docula.
21:43He flies through the night, looking for a bite, but he's back home by daylight.
21:49Docula.
21:51I'm kicking.
21:52If you're sort of, or you're a little, it's certain you run into Docula.
22:00If your heart goes, or your mind goes,
22:04man you had a rush with, Docula.
22:08Search out for the, beware of the,
22:12and play you'll never meet with, Docula.
22:16Count Docula.
Comments