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00:00Well, what it boils down to is we've got to take a closer look at our bills.
00:08Hey, what's going on in here?
00:11We're having a family meeting.
00:13Oh, I get it. Freeze out the alien. I guess I'm not part of the family.
00:19Oh, Alf, we thought you were watching the Three Stooges.
00:21I turned it off. Somehow I just can't buy Shemp as a surgeon.
00:27Curly was a senator once.
00:29True. And Moe was Speaker of the House.
00:32Could we put an end to the Stooge talk here for a minute?
00:36Certainly.
00:41We'd like to get back to our meeting.
00:43Oh, yeah. The meeting I wasn't invited to.
00:46It's about our family budget.
00:48What'd you think I was going to do? Dominate the conversation? Be a nuisance?
00:52No, Alf, nobody ever suggests.
00:54Throw out a lot of pointless suggestions? Interrupt everybody?
00:57Oh, we never said... Never let anyone get a word in Edgewoods?
00:59Alf!
01:01You can come to the meeting.
01:03No thanks.
01:04No thanks.
01:08What's up, Ari?
01:10No thanks.
01:14No thanks, man.
01:19No thanks.
01:21Musik
01:51Let's just take a look at our electric bill.
02:02For example, it's three times what it used to be.
02:04Maybe it's the porch light you leave on every time I go out.
02:07Porch light stays.
02:10And we've been keeping the thermostat down to 70.
02:13And I turn off the dryer as soon as I wake up.
02:16Well, we're just going...
02:18The dryer?
02:19What do you mean, turn off the dryer?
02:22Why would you even turn it on?
02:24To keep me company at night.
02:26Why?
02:27Is eight hours too long?
02:29Yes.
02:30What if I just leave it on delicates?
02:33Leave it off.
02:34Now, let's get back to the rest of our money problems.
02:38No chance of you're getting a better job, I suppose.
02:40I like my job.
02:42The money's fine.
02:43Who made this call to Munich?
02:46Munich, Germany?
02:48Munich?
02:48That has to be a mistake.
02:50No, it's not.
02:52You called Munich.
02:53Why?
02:55Remember the vacuum cleaner I broke?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Well, the repair place said they couldn't get the chicken salad out of the impeller blade.
03:02And they had to send it to Germany for an overhaul.
03:05But that doesn't explain why you'd call Germany.
03:10Hey, I believe in following things through.
03:14Let's move on to another problem.
03:16Food.
03:17I'm going to go get some cookies.
03:18I don't think all of us are aware how much food costs.
03:25We're all out of macaroons.
03:27All we got are chocolate chips.
03:31Let alone how much food is being consumed, for that matter.
03:36There's something wrong?
03:40You're eating all our food.
03:42I'm beginning to realize what this is all about.
03:46The fingers are being pointed in the direction of the furry visitor.
03:49You all think I'm a parasite.
03:52No one thinks you're a parasite.
03:55All right.
03:56A freeloader.
03:57Freeloader's closer.
03:59What about a sponger?
04:00Where did you ever hear that word?
04:02That's what you called him last week.
04:05Oh, I see.
04:06Let's just settle on parasite and move on.
04:10Fine.
04:11If you want me, I'll be in my room.
04:14Not wasting money.
04:15I just checked into the Parasite Hotel.
04:35They ain't got a porter or a bell.
04:41I checked into that Parasite Hotel.
04:45Wow.
04:45Oh, I'm sorry.
04:47Was I playing too loud?
04:49I didn't know you could play the piano.
04:51Well, I was winging it.
04:53It's tough to play without the red keys.
04:56You seem kind of down.
04:58Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive about being called a freeloader, sponger, and parasite.
05:06Oh, Ralph.
05:07We didn't mean to call you any of those things.
05:09You just happened to catch us in a moment of honesty.
05:15It's just a matter of making a few adjustments.
05:17You know, we...
05:18No need to lay it out, Kateski.
05:20I hear you loud and clear.
05:22I've got to get a job.
05:24A job?
05:25That's right.
05:26It's nose to the grindstone time for this parasite.
05:29What the...
05:31What could you even do?
05:34Well, on Melmac, I owned and operated my own phlegm dealership.
05:40Phlegm dealership?
05:41Ever drive one?
05:43The phlegm turbo was a classic.
05:46Must be some other options.
05:48Well, there was a sunroof, but it was best to keep it closed.
05:53Oh.
05:54You don't need to get a job.
05:57Listen, if you really want to contribute, we'll give you a few chores to do around the house.
06:01How would that be?
06:03You mean fluffing up pillows?
06:05Stuff like that?
06:06Well, no, but you could, you know, full laundry, load the dishwasher.
06:11No.
06:12No, not that.
06:14We'll think of something.
06:18Don't worry about it.
06:21Chores.
06:22Fine for the beaver, but not exactly tycoon territory.
06:28I've got to find a way to earn money now.
06:31But how?
06:36Looking for a way to earn money now.
06:39Call this toll-free number.
06:43Opportunity knocks.
06:56Well, hello?
06:57Yeah, uh, when do I start?
06:59Huh?
07:00Oh, oh, Alf.
07:01Uh, my name is Alf.
07:02Yeah.
07:02Have I earned any money yet?
07:06What do you mean I have to sell something first?
07:09All right, fine.
07:10Send it here and I'll sell it.
07:12Uh, 167 Hemdale.
07:15It's a beige house.
07:15You can't miss it.
07:17Yeah.
07:18Great.
07:18Oh, oh, wait a minute.
07:19Before I forget.
07:20One more question.
07:22What am I going to be selling?
07:24Um, what are you doing with cosmetics?
07:26Huh?
07:27Oh, didn't I tell you?
07:27I got a job.
07:29I'm a Terry Faith girl.
07:31I thought you were an alien.
07:33Why can't I have the best of both worlds?
07:36But, Alf, how can you sell Terry Faith cosmetics?
07:38Lynn, honey, I know exactly what you're going to say.
07:41I can't do the public number, right?
07:43Ha!
07:44Well, just send that worry packing.
07:46I make it all happen over the phone.
07:49But don't you have to know something about makeup before you can sell it?
07:51That's the great thing about this company.
07:54They welcome ignorance.
07:56Have you ever had a Terry Faith facial?
08:01Can't say that I have.
08:03I think I don't know anything about this stuff.
08:05Honey, honey, that's why we have this book.
08:08The Wonderful World of Terry Faith Cosmetics.
08:11Let's check it out here.
08:13Here we go.
08:15Terry Faith was born outside of Dayton, Ohio,
08:18at a bend in the road near the turn of the century.
08:21What does it say about how to give a facial?
08:23Don't you want to hear about the early years?
08:25I don't.
08:26I don't.
08:26Let's skip to the facial part.
08:28All right, okay.
08:29Here we go.
08:30Chapter one.
08:32The facial part.
08:33Here, hold this.
08:35Let me see here.
08:37This must be the stuff.
08:40Come on, Lynn, get down here.
08:41Let's give it a shot.
08:44It says apply liberally to customers' face and neck.
08:47What do you think?
08:48Just a little bit.
08:51Yeah, yeah, okay.
08:55Oh, yeah.
08:59Yeah.
08:59There, it's going on real smooth.
09:01Just a little bit.
09:02It says apply liberally.
09:04Okay.
09:04All right.
09:04Okay, apply liberally.
09:05All right, that's what I'm doing.
09:06All right.
09:07All right.
09:07Here we go.
09:08I'm applying it.
09:09Good, okay.
09:10Good.
09:10Now, for cheek color,
09:12I think Terry suggests something like
09:15evening lobster.
09:18Can I see a mirror?
09:19Not yet, not yet.
09:20Now, I want you to suck in those cheeks real tight
09:22like this.
09:24Super.
09:25Let's do this.
09:27There we go.
09:27Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
09:39It's too quiet.
09:41For reading?
09:42For the house.
09:43Where's Alf?
09:44Oh, I don't know.
09:45He could be resting.
09:47He could be reading.
09:48He could be carrying our towels to the den.
09:49Excuse me, Alf.
09:50Yo.
09:51Why are you carrying our towels to the den?
09:53Aren't we a curious George tonight?
09:57Hello?
10:00We'd like an answer to that question.
10:03It's for you.
10:04Someone named Ginger.
10:05Oh, oh, here.
10:06Hold this.
10:06Hold this.
10:07Yeah.
10:09Hello?
10:11Hiya, Ginge.
10:13Yeah.
10:13What's cooking?
10:15Uh-huh.
10:16Yeah, uh-huh.
10:17How's Oscar's hernia?
10:20Oh, good.
10:21That's good news.
10:23Oh, Ginge, I couldn't agree more.
10:26Yeah, those hunting sachets are going to be very hot.
10:32Yeah, yeah, send me a ton of those.
10:35Hunting sachets?
10:37Newcomer of the month, moi.
10:39Oh, well, I don't know what to say.
10:42I'm floored.
10:43I'm agog.
10:45I'm absolutely silly.
10:47Yeah, okay, look, gotta run, hon.
10:49Love to Bridget and Peg.
10:51Bye-bye.
10:51All right.
10:54All right.
10:56Let's just start at the beginning.
10:57Who's Ginger?
10:59And why are you talking to her about hunting sachets?
11:02And if you'll pardon my ignorance, what are hunting sachets?
11:07All right.
11:08I was going to tell you anyway.
11:10I have a job.
11:12A what?
11:13A job.
11:14I'm in the rouge-slinging game.
11:16What?
11:17That's, uh, trade lingo for beauty rep.
11:21What?
11:21I'm selling cosmetics.
11:24Alf, I thought we decided against your getting a job.
11:27This isn't a job.
11:29It's a glittering, fast-paced career.
11:31If I play my cards right,
11:33I can bring home twice what the civil servant here does.
11:37The civil servant doesn't need you to sell cosmetics.
11:40The civil servant is doing just fine, thank you very much.
11:43Mom, where are all the towels?
11:46Oh, the towels are in here.
11:49Alf, Alf was just about to tell us why.
11:52Well, maybe he needed some storage space.
11:56Oh, you could drop the cover, Lynn.
11:58I've blown the lid off of Operation Makeup.
12:01Lynn, you mean you knew about this and didn't tell us.
12:04Well, Alf asked me not to say anything
12:06until he made enough money to bail out the civil servant.
12:09Yeah, I mean, I finally feel like a productive member of society.
12:14I'm pulling my weight, Willie.
12:16By selling cosmetics?
12:19Yeah, Dad.
12:20He is really excited about working.
12:22Let's give him a chance.
12:24Yeah, yeah, wait till you check out these goods.
12:26I'll be right back.
12:28You know, Willie,
12:30honey, it is kind of nice that he wants to help us out.
12:33Well, I guess we should be supportive for a while.
12:37Well, I don't know if he does manage to show a profit.
12:40Not that we need it.
12:41All right, here we go.
12:43Sit down, Katie did.
12:44Let's try to reverse the ravages of time.
12:48What?
12:49Hey, come on, don't fight it, Kate.
12:51It happens to everyone, all right?
12:52Really?
12:53Do I look old?
12:55Kate, honey, listen to me, all right?
12:58And I mean this.
12:58It's not that you look old.
13:02It's just that a woman of such radiant beauty
13:05should let her lasting loveliness
13:09bloom with the passage of time.
13:14Oh, brother.
13:15No, let him talk.
13:17We're all going to be supportive, remember?
13:19All right.
13:19Alf, maybe I'll buy something.
13:22What do you recommend?
13:23Well, I say that our sub-reflective chin-buffing paste
13:28is a must.
13:29Really?
13:29How much is that?
13:30Fifty dollars.
13:32Or twenty.
13:34How much you got?
13:37Five.
13:37Sold.
13:39You got a real flair for the business end of the thing, too.
13:42Hey, I didn't get voted newcomer of the month for nothing.
13:46How could you be voted newcomer of the month
13:49when you haven't sold anything yet?
13:51Ha!
13:52It's not how much you sell,
13:54it's how much you buy.
13:58Well, uh,
13:59exactly how much did you buy?
14:02I'll have to check my day planner.
14:11William Tanner?
14:12Yes?
14:13I got a delivery here for you
14:14from the Terry Faith Company.
14:16Hold it, wait just a minute.
14:17I'm not signing anything.
14:19No signatures necessary.
14:20This was all paid for over the phone.
14:23I'll be back with the rest
14:24when I get a bigger truck.
14:26Keep the faith.
14:29Four thousand dollars.
14:31Yep, that matches my total.
14:35Alf, how were you able to purchase
14:36four thousand dollars with the makeup?
14:39Plastic.
14:40I put it on your visa.
14:41Oh, incidentally,
14:42you're over your limit.
14:45You used my credit card
14:47to buy four thousand dollars worth of makeup?
14:49Come on, you'll get it all back.
14:51The markup on this stuff is outrageous.
14:54Here, look.
14:55You're already five bucks a head.
14:56Alf!
14:57Alf!
14:58Alf, what are you doing?
15:00This stuff turns green.
15:02Well, let's see here.
15:04Dayton, Dayton.
15:06Her first marriage.
15:07Puffy eyes.
15:08The return to Dayton.
15:09Oh, here we go.
15:11When things turn green.
15:14What, you're gonna leave the kid looking like that?
15:16Lynn, go help your brother take his makeup off.
15:19Okay, come on.
15:24You have abused the trust of this family
15:26far too long.
15:28You're grounded.
15:31Oh, no phone,
15:33no television,
15:34no nothing.
15:34Let's see if we get this makeup mess
15:36straightened out.
15:37My career really threatens you,
15:39doesn't it, Willie?
15:40Yes, financially.
15:42Life's funny.
15:44You try and help someone out
15:45and boom,
15:46they turn on you
15:47like a wild animal.
15:51If that's another one,
15:52you're a delivery man.
15:53No, that's probably the girls.
15:55The girls?
15:56I'm sorry,
15:57the women.
15:58What women?
15:59The customers.
16:01The ones coming to the Terry Faith party.
16:03That's what the towels were for.
16:05It is.
16:06It's women.
16:07You are not to entertain customers
16:09in this house?
16:10Of course I'm not.
16:12You are.
16:13What do you mean we are?
16:15I was trying to explain it to you.
16:17See, your role in the Terry Faith sales family
16:20is to play host and hostess
16:22to my customers.
16:24If that means selling your makeup,
16:26forget it.
16:27Willie, Willie,
16:27these products sell themselves.
16:29You don't have to do a thing.
16:32Except entertain a house full of strangers.
16:36Relax.
16:36They'll be wearing name tags.
16:39Oh, and by the way,
16:40don't take any personal checks.
16:44Willie!
16:45Don't worry.
16:46Don't worry.
16:47I'm going to put an end to this right now.
16:50Ladies.
16:51Oh, hi.
16:51What a beautiful mom.
16:53Hi, hi.
16:54No, I'm not Elf.
16:55Oh, then you must be his assistant, Willie.
16:57Where's Elf?
16:58Elf is at a, uh...
17:00At a director's meeting.
17:01Ooh.
17:02Yes, right.
17:03Ladies, if I may have your attention, please,
17:05about these products.
17:06Willie, hon,
17:07you don't have to sell us.
17:08The products sell themselves.
17:09I'll have an espresso.
17:10Ooh, gee, that sounds good.
17:12Could you sprinkle a little cinnamon on mine
17:14and don't bother to heat the strudel?
17:16Espresso.
17:17Strudel.
17:19Uh, listen, ladies,
17:19I don't know what Elf told you
17:20about these cosmetics.
17:21Oh, never mind.
17:22Here they are.
17:23Is it okay if we open this now, my dear?
17:26No, no.
17:27That's not a good idea.
17:28No, no.
17:30Oh, is that espresso coming?
17:31And a strudel.
17:32Oh, I'll see.
17:34Oh, Willie,
17:35did the mutton-free eye salve
17:36and finally come in?
17:39Okay.
17:41Tell the gals to hang on.
17:43The food is on its way.
17:45Oh, Stephen.
17:48What am I doing?
17:49We don't even have an espresso machine.
17:51Too bad.
17:52It's kind of standard at these parties.
17:54Look, let them start on these.
17:56I'll make some instant.
17:58You're not making anything.
17:59The party's over.
18:01Willie's not doing his card tricks again, is he?
18:04Oh, Willie,
18:04never mind the change.
18:05I'll take this and the guacamole skin toner
18:08and we'll call it even.
18:09What's going on?
18:10I don't know,
18:10but I think we sold something.
18:13Willie,
18:13will you take a personal check?
18:15I don't know.
18:16Should we?
18:17Get some ID.
18:19Get some ID.
18:21Willie,
18:21I think I bought enough
18:22to qualify for the luggage.
18:24What luggage?
18:24Well,
18:25Alf told me I get my choice
18:26of either soft-sided
18:27or mock-naugahyte,
18:28and I'd like to see them
18:29before I make my choice.
18:30I don't know
18:31what you're talking about, lady.
18:32I'll set you
18:33trying to talk me out of it.
18:35Myrna,
18:35forget the luggage.
18:37Just buy another $200 worth
18:39and take the trip to Dayton.
18:40You'll love the museum.
18:41It's marvelous.
18:43Right by Dayton.
18:45Honey,
18:45do you think we're doing
18:46the right thing?
18:47I don't know.
18:47We've got no choice.
18:49We're in this.
18:49Up to our necks.
18:51Necks?
18:51Oh,
18:52that reminds me.
18:53Willie,
18:53dear,
18:53where's that neck-tightener
18:55I ordered?
18:56Coming,
18:57bunny.
18:58I'll be right back,
18:59dear.
19:00Cheese whiz.
19:04Hey,
19:05Tanner,
19:05the rest of your stuff
19:06is here.
19:07Should I back the truck
19:07up to the door
19:08or what?
19:21Well,
19:23all the figures are in.
19:25How much did we make?
19:26Not so fast.
19:28I need a drum roll.
19:29Just tell us.
19:31I'm not telling
19:31until I get a drum roll.
19:33Will you give me that?
19:36Wow.
19:37We did pretty well.
19:38Pretty well?
19:40We made it all back
19:41plus a small profit.
19:42Oh, boy,
19:43can we get an air hockey table?
19:45No,
19:46I think we'll just use this money
19:47to pay for that phone
19:49called the Munich.
19:50You know,
19:50if we have a few more
19:51of these parties...
19:52No more parties.
19:53No more makeup.
19:55No more Terry Faith.
19:57Well,
19:58I want you all to know
19:59how much I appreciate
20:01you're giving me the chance.
20:03You came through for me
20:04and it all worked out
20:05and now
20:06I've got something for you.
20:09Lynn,
20:10tell them what they've won.
20:13You have just won
20:14a beautiful set
20:16of Mach-Nagahide luggage.
20:19Ow.
20:20That is really,
20:22really sweet.
20:24It looks just like
20:25real Nagahide.
20:26And that's only
20:28the beginning, folks,
20:29because next week
20:31we'll be packing
20:32those bags
20:33and leaving
20:33for beautiful Dayton,
20:35where we'll be spending
20:37three days
20:37and two nights
20:38at the beautiful
20:39Terry Land Hotel.
20:41You'll be dancing
20:42and dining
20:43in the beautiful
20:44eyeshadow lounge
20:46and visiting
20:47the Terry Faith Museum,
20:49where Terry herself
20:51is on display,
20:52gorgeously preserved
20:53in the revolving
20:54crystal castle.
20:57To preserve
20:58the dignity
20:58of this monument,
20:59there will be
21:00no flash photography.
21:01you'll be
21:02and
21:07you'll be
21:08being
21:10to
21:12to
21:13the
21:14bathroom.
21:16Untertitelung des ZDF für funk, 2017
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