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00:00...to a super dad, husband, and earthling.
00:04That was mine.
00:07Thanks. Thanks, everyone. I'm very, very touched.
00:12Thank you, dear.
00:12Oh, happy birthday, darling.
00:14Happy birthday, Daddy.
00:15Oh, thank you, son.
00:17Many more, Dad.
00:18Thanks. Thanks, sweetheart.
00:20Thank you, Alf. Thank you.
00:27Whoa, not bad.
00:28Still waters run deep there, William.
00:35Go on the candles.
00:36Okay. One, two, three.
00:44Joke, Dad.
00:46Joke.
00:47What is this, the fifth year now,
00:49and I fall for it every single time.
00:53Hey, back off there, Willie Bob.
00:54Let me give it a shot.
00:56Oh.
00:56Ow!
00:59What?
00:59What?
00:59Oh, my God.
01:00Oh, my God.
01:02Be alive.
01:03Oh, my God.
01:04Oh, man.
01:08Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:11Oh, my God.
01:13Come here.
01:14Oh, my God.
01:15Untertitelung. BR 2018
01:45Untertitelung. BR 2018
02:15I have my health, I have a wonderful wife, I have two great kids, and I'm an alien.
02:23Okay, great speech. Let's open the presents.
02:26Okay, be right back. Come on, Brian.
02:29I hope you got me jewelry.
02:32Ralph, it's Willie's birthday. He's the one who gets the presents.
02:35The guy who has the birthday also gets the presents? Talk about your wacky planet.
02:43Okay, Dad, close your eyes.
02:47Okay. Open. Happy birthday, darling.
02:51Oh, Kate, it's the Cambridge Atlas of Astronomy.
02:54Yeah. Thank you, sweetheart.
02:56Let me see.
02:56You're welcome.
02:57Gee, I've been eyeing that book in the bookstore for weeks.
03:00You know I was going to wait until it came out in paperback, but what are you doing?
03:04I'm correcting the more glaring errors.
03:06Look at this. They left out the tenth planet.
03:09Dave.
03:09You know, I think you make things up.
03:18You told me there was a race of cucumber people on Mars.
03:22Not a race. A family. A small family. They're mean.
03:29Here.
03:31Happy birthday.
03:33Well, thanks. What is it?
03:35I don't know. Something I found in the basement behind the chemical toilet.
03:39Well, I can't exactly go out and shop.
03:43No, no, no. I mean, it is charming. It's one that's very thoughtful.
03:46Oh, thank you.
03:47Well, look at these. These are pictures.
03:49These are our high school, our college pictures.
03:51Oh, my gosh. I don't believe this.
03:53There's old letters in there.
03:54Oh, Mom, who is this gorgeous guy with his arm around you?
03:58Uh, that's Nolan Westwood.
04:00Who's this guy in the stupid-looking clothes?
04:03That's a football uniform, Alf.
04:05I know this guy. He's an old-timer. What's his name? Joe.
04:09Joe Namath.
04:11You did Joe Namath?
04:13The pantyhose guy? Wow.
04:17Mom, you really went out with some hunks.
04:20But I married the best hunk of them all.
04:23Oh, my gosh. Here's a menu.
04:26Oh, look. It's an old menu from that little restaurant that Kate and I discovered.
04:30Let's order.
04:32The restaurant's been closed for 20 years.
04:34But why are we ordering?
04:35We're not ordering.
04:37Oh, honey, look what we wrote on the back. It's our list.
04:40What list?
04:41Well, your father and I each made a list of things that we wanted to accomplish in our lives.
04:46You know, goals, dreams.
04:48Can I see it?
04:50Look what Mom wrote.
04:52To ski the eagle's nest at Squaw Valley.
04:55To have a poem published in a major literary magazine.
04:58To run with the bulls at Pamplona.
05:02She did all that, too.
05:04Whoa, Kate.
05:05You little overachiever, you.
05:08Yeah, way to go, Mom.
05:09Oh, well, you know how I am with lists.
05:11I love crossing things off.
05:13Where's your list, Dad?
05:14Oh, it's in there.
05:15I think I wrote it under the catch of the day.
05:17Let me see that.
05:18I may want sea bass.
05:21We're not ordering.
05:22All right, all right.
05:24Let me read this.
05:25Wait a minute.
05:25Willie Tanner, goals and ambitions.
05:29Number one, to build a better mousetrap.
05:33Well, that must have been a piece of cake.
05:34Not exactly.
05:35I'm still working on that one.
05:37Number two, complete that skydive.
05:42Complete that skydive?
05:44How do you skydive just a little bit?
05:46Do you jump halfway?
05:49No.
05:50You get ready to jump.
05:53You have second thoughts.
05:55You go back to your seat to sit down.
05:56Oh, you chicken out.
05:59You decide not to jump.
06:01You come to your senses.
06:02You have second thoughts.
06:03You decide not to be stupid.
06:07All right, all right.
06:08You chicken out.
06:10Now, how about some of that wet cake?
06:13Yeah.
06:13Yeah.
06:13Yeah.
06:25Yo, Willie.
06:27Yo.
06:27What are you working on?
06:29My mousetrap.
06:31Uh-huh.
06:33You might have a little trouble slipping that baby behind a refrigerator.
06:38Say, uh, don't you have some sleeping to do?
06:40No.
06:40No.
06:41I always wake up around 3, 3.30, have a couple of potatoes, and, uh, wait for my paper.
06:48What a life.
06:49Hey.
06:50So far, no complaints.
06:51Want a cold spud?
06:53No.
06:54No thanks.
06:55Because I ate the rest of the cake.
06:56I should tell you that now.
06:57That's okay.
06:58And the candles.
07:00Listen, uh, Alpha, I really like to finish this thing.
07:05Why bother?
07:07Well, because I like to finish something I start.
07:10You never finish that skydive.
07:15Did you ever set goals for yourself that you weren't able to accomplish?
07:18No.
07:19None?
07:20Well, Mackians don't set goals, Willie.
07:22We live from moment to moment.
07:24From snack to snack.
07:25Yes.
07:25We take time to stop and smell the potatoes.
07:30Did you ever jump out of a moving plane?
07:33Hey, you want to be alone, just tell me.
07:35No, no.
07:35I mean, did, did, did you ever skydive?
07:38I fell to Earth at Mach 16.
07:41What was that like?
07:42Imagine Mach 8 and double it.
07:46Was you scared?
07:47Not once I started plummeting.
07:50Hey, Willie, don't worry about it.
07:52You don't have to prove anything.
07:54You're a good provider.
07:56You've got a couple of great kids and an alien.
07:59You don't run around.
08:01And your life is incredibly predictable and safe.
08:05There's my paper.
08:06Ciao.
08:06Kate?
08:16Yeah?
08:18You ever hear from Nolan?
08:21Nolan who?
08:23Nolan Westwood.
08:26No.
08:27Why?
08:29Oh, I don't know.
08:30I just wondered if you'd heard from him since, you know, since college.
08:34Actually, I heard that he went to New Guinea and never came back.
08:41Oh, that's, that's too bad.
08:44Some tribe made him their king.
08:49Why do you ask?
08:50Oh, nothing.
08:51I was just, I was just curious.
08:54Oh.
08:54Does he have any real power or is he just a figurehead?
09:00Well, um, he's on the stamps.
09:03What about Joe?
09:14Joe who?
09:15You know, the football guy.
09:19Theismann?
09:19No.
09:21Joe Namath.
09:22Did you go out with Joe Theismann too?
09:26No, honey.
09:28Just Namath.
09:29Why are you bringing all this up?
09:31Kate, you think of me as incredibly predictable and safe.
09:37Yes.
09:41That's why I'm here with you right now.
09:47Go to sleep.
09:48You'll have a busy day tomorrow.
09:50You know, I got to take the wagon and get the radiator flushed.
09:57After that, I'm going to, uh, stop the hardware, see if the lawn sprinklers come in.
10:02Yeah.
10:04I'm having lunch with Cousin Vern and talk to me about his new edger.
10:09After that, I decided I'm going to go skydiving.
10:14I'm going to go skydiving.
10:15Mmm.
10:19Good night, dear.
10:21Good night.
10:34Excuse me.
10:35Where am I?
10:37You're at your graduation.
10:41Well, uh, well, what am I graduating from?
10:44Uh, this is a dream, Tanner.
10:46Its purpose is to point out how inadequate you are compared to everybody else.
10:51That sounds like fun.
10:53Would you mind standing off to the side?
11:02Nolan Westwood, come on out and accept your diploma.
11:07Congratulations, Nolan, on being a successful unicyclist, world traveler, and New Guinean king.
11:17Thank you.
11:17Here are some stamps and coins.
11:21He's on the money, too.
11:22Tanner, by it.
11:24I'm sorry.
11:25Listen, I've got to go.
11:26They're having a little ceremony for me back home.
11:28I'm being bumped up from king to god.
11:32Congratulations, Nolan.
11:34Thanks, bud.
11:35And now, our next recipient needs no introduction.
11:42Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Neiman.
11:46Hey, Joe, go on out for a long one, huh?
11:49Hey, I was just kidding.
11:50Here you go, Joe.
11:51Thanks.
11:52Say, what's going on here?
11:53Uh, uh, Willie's having a dream.
11:56Willie!
11:56Hello, Joe.
11:59I'm sorry to drag you into this.
12:01Oh, hey, that's cool.
12:02I've been doing a lot of dreams lately.
12:04Next week, I'm doing a Howard Cosell nightmare.
12:07Oh, gee, Joe, you've done awfully well.
12:11Say, would you autograph this for my son, Brian?
12:16Absolutely.
12:22There you go.
12:24Thanks, Joe.
12:25To Brian.
12:28Tell your mom hello.
12:31You know what?
12:32I always think about what Kate said when I proposed to her.
12:35Yeah.
12:36And that's how I got the bad knees, by the way, kneeling.
12:39She said, Broadway...
12:41She always called me Broadway.
12:43She said, thanks, but no thanks.
12:46I'm looking for someone that's predictable and safe.
12:51So long, Willie.
12:57I'm going skydiving tomorrow.
13:00I'm going skydiving tomorrow.
13:04You had your chance.
13:06And now it gives me great pleasure
13:11to introduce our man of the century,
13:14someone whose accomplishments put the rest of us to shame,
13:18a person of whom it can truly be said
13:20he changed the way we look at the world.
13:24Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
13:27Gordon Alf Shumway!
13:30Alf.
13:39Hey, Alf.
13:40Great to see you.
13:40Way to go!
13:41What a guy.
13:42He's the best.
13:43Say, Alf.
13:43Can I have your autograph?
13:44Sure, Joe.
13:45Oh, wait till my friends see this.
13:47Oh.
13:48There you go.
13:49Thanks.
13:50Alf?
13:51Willie?
13:53Alf?
13:55Willie?
13:55You're the man of the century?
13:59Yeah.
13:59What a surprise.
14:01I was happy just to be nominated.
14:03What a kick.
14:05Well, congratulations.
14:06Thanks.
14:08Hey, Willie, you never know.
14:09Next century, it could be you.
14:11I don't think so.
14:12Hey, come on.
14:15Don't be so negative.
14:17All you have to do is take this parachute and jump, Willie.
14:21Jump!
14:22Jump!
14:24Jump!
14:25Jump!
14:26Jump!
14:27Jump!
14:28Jump!
14:29Jump!
14:30Jump!
14:30Jump!
14:31Jump!
14:32Jump!
14:32Jump!
14:33Jump!
14:33Jump!
14:34Jump!
14:34Jump!
14:34Jump!
14:39Jump!
14:40Jump!
14:41Jump!
14:42Jump, Willie.
14:43Jump!
14:43Hit!
14:44Roll.
14:45Hit!
14:46Roll!
14:48How's that?
14:51Can I try it?
14:53Yeah, sure.
14:54Come on.
14:55Hit!
14:55Roll.
14:55Hit!
14:57Roll.
14:57Hit!
14:58Roll!
14:58Yes.
14:59Yes.
15:00Yes.
15:01There's nothing to this skydiving stuff.
15:04It's boring.
15:06Let's take a break here.
15:08Yeah.
15:09Good idea.
15:10You know, Alf, I had the strangest dream last night, and you were in it.
15:17No kidding?
15:18Yeah.
15:19It was really weird.
15:21There was you and these three guys that Kate used to go out with.
15:27What's weird about that?
15:29Well, what were you doing in it?
15:31Now that you've brought it up, I think Kate's been coming on to me lately.
15:35I really think you're mistaking friendliness for, uh, something else.
15:42Then I guess I shouldn't have sent her flowers.
15:46You sent my wife flowers.
15:47Okay.
15:48Break's over.
15:50Let's, uh, let's get on with this.
15:52Come on.
15:52Enough of this idle chit-chat.
15:55Hit!
15:56Roll.
15:57Hit!
15:58Roll!
15:58How about it?
16:02Not bad.
16:03If that had been a real jump, you'd have just driven your femur into your spleen.
16:08Oh, Willie, the flowers are beautiful.
16:12Honey, what's the occasion?
16:14Um, it's just because he loves you, that's all.
16:17Oh, I love you, too.
16:20Oh, what's going on here?
16:21Oh, I was, uh, just practicing my hit-and-roll.
16:24That skydiving lingo.
16:26Sky?
16:28So that is what you said last night.
16:30Yeah, I decided I'm, I'm gonna take the plunge.
16:33And don't try talking him out of it.
16:35Alf, do you mind?
16:37You're really serious about this, aren't you?
16:39Yep.
16:41Why are you doing this?
16:43I'm doing this because I feel I have to do this.
16:48Because of something you wrote on a menu 25 years ago?
16:51I thought it was 20s.
16:53Alf, 25 years ago, five people went up on a plane, and four people jumped.
17:02You didn't jump because you didn't want to jump.
17:05I didn't jump because I was afraid to jump.
17:08You're not afraid now?
17:11I am afraid.
17:13But I feel that this is something I have to do.
17:18If jumping out of an airplane at 5,000 feet is that important to you, you should do it.
17:26We'll be there watching.
17:275,000 feet, I thought it was 4,000.
17:38I think it's 10,000.
17:40We're nearing the drop zone.
17:51Hey!
17:52Hey!
17:53Are we pumped?
17:54We're pumped, all right.
17:56We're pumped as can be.
17:58Pumped as a tire, in fact.
18:00Good, that's what I'd like to hear.
18:02Mr. Tanner.
18:03Yeah.
18:03I noticed, sir, you didn't check off the life insurance box.
18:06Oh, I'm sorry.
18:08That'll be, uh, two bucks.
18:11Uh, I don't know.
18:12Would it be all right if I paid you later?
18:14Huh?
18:14Good one.
18:16Oh, boy.
18:19We are now directly over the drop zone.
18:24Skydivers, prepare for flight.
18:25And watch out for that first step.
18:30This is my first time.
18:32Nervous, huh?
18:33Yeah, a little.
18:35Nothing to worry about.
18:36Just like jumping off a cliff.
18:40Colin!
18:41Go!
18:45Polmanski!
18:46You!
18:51Barnard!
18:51You!
18:53Hey, listen, if anything happens to me,
18:55they'll have no life support system.
18:57Gotcha!
18:58Yeah!
19:02Tanner!
19:03Prison, yes.
19:04You're supposed to say yo!
19:05Oh, right.
19:06Yo!
19:12Oh, listen, I, here's what I've decided.
19:15I, I can't do this.
19:17I, I won't do it.
19:18I mean, I, I don't need to do it,
19:19so I'm not going to do it.
19:21Uh, that's, that's what I wanted to tell you.
19:23See, I was, I was sitting back there,
19:24I was listening to everybody say yo,
19:25and all that,
19:26and I thought to myself,
19:27do I really want to plummet?
19:29And, uh, I had to admit,
19:31no, uh, I, I don't feel like plummeting,
19:34so I'm not going to do it.
19:35I'm going to go back over there,
19:36and I'll sit down, uh,
19:37that's, that's where I'll be,
19:39right, right over there, okay?
19:40What?
19:43Oh, nothing.
19:44Oh, what the hell?
20:02Al!
20:04Al!
20:04Al!
20:04In here!
20:07What are you doing?
20:09Building a better cat trap.
20:15How'd the jump go?
20:16Great.
20:17He did it.
20:18Nice going, Willie.
20:19Hey, let's hear it for the tan man.
20:21You said he'd end up a red smear on the landscape.
20:25I said he might end up a red smear on the landscape.
20:31Well, honey, tell me,
20:32what's next for the conquering hero?
20:34Oh, uh, I don't know.
20:35I was thinking about that on the way down.
20:37I still like to discover that new galaxy.
20:41I don't know, maybe play pro football
20:43for a couple of years,
20:44take the whole gang,
20:46move to New Guinea.
20:48Of course, first,
20:49I have to get the radiator flushed.
20:52Oh.
20:53Ah!
20:58Well.
21:07Ah!
21:35Ah!
21:36Ah!
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