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00:00Schau, warum sind Sie die Nails in der Tür geschlagen?
00:07Um die signen zu fallen.
00:09Sie wissen nichts über Gravity?
00:12Gib mir die Hammer.
00:14Danke für die Aufmerksamkeit, aber die Arbeit ist bereits fertig.
00:21Morgen. Morgen, Dad.
00:23Haben Sie die Pfeile?
00:25Ja, aber ich...
00:27Aber nichts.
00:29Goodbye, Grandma.
00:31Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye.
00:33Goodbye, Grandma.
00:35Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye.
00:37Hm, maybe another goodbye in there.
00:40Oh, uh, what's this stuff in this bag?
00:44I prepared a little flight kit.
00:46Nothing special, just a few travel necessities.
00:50I emphasize the word travel.
00:53Magazines, Kleenex,
00:56Rough mints, antacids, and moist towelettes.
01:02If she stops for anything, she might miss her plane.
01:05I'm very thoughtful of you.
01:07And of course, the bag will come in handy in case of turbulence.
01:11Or if they show Howard the Duck.
01:13Guess what?
01:15I'm not leaving.
01:19Why not?
01:21Ralph, don't be rude.
01:23Why not, Dorothy?
01:26I could just kill Estelle.
01:30She's decided to spend a few more days with her daughter.
01:33Now, now, where does that leave me and all my plans?
01:36Honestly, I hate doing this, but...
01:39Well, I'm gonna have to stay here a little while longer.
01:42You know, there's a nice motel down the street.
01:47Just a thought.
01:49I'm gonna have to stay here a little while later.
01:55I have to stay here a little while later.
01:58I will be not.
02:02I'm not gonna have to stay here a lot.
02:05I know.
02:07It's gonna go out of here, though.
02:10I know.
02:11I know.
02:12I know.
02:13You'll be right there.
02:14I know.
02:15I know.
02:16I know.
02:17Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
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04:52If you're not stuffing your snout, you're watching television.
04:57Al!
04:58What?
04:59You know what?
05:00I want to see the x-rays.
05:01No!
05:01Let me guess.
05:02Arguing about the television again.
05:04Well, Kate, you know how much I love One World to Hope for.
05:09The orange bathmat here won't let me watch.
05:13Orange bathmat?
05:14Listen here, you Bronx giraffe.
05:18My mother is a guest in this house.
05:21I want you to treat her like one.
05:22Well, thank you, Kate.
05:25Guest?
05:26Isn't there a statute of limitations on that word?
05:29Al!
05:29Kate, the woman doesn't respond to subtle hints.
05:33Alf, my mother is welcome to stay here as long as she wants.
05:38However long that may be.
05:43As a matter of fact, Mom, why don't I put your suitcases in the closet?
05:48Oh, sure, honey, if you feel they're in the way.
05:51Dust off the cobwebs first.
05:54You feel like going out?
06:12Yeah.
06:13Let's party.
06:15Gee, I wish she wouldn't let it get to you.
06:17You know where she is right now?
06:19She is at the market buying a decent tile cleaner.
06:24Decent tile cleaner?
06:27This should be gone in a couple of weeks.
06:29Sure.
06:29First she said a few more days, then she said another week.
06:32Now she says two more weeks.
06:33She didn't know that Estelle was going to sprain her ankle, you know.
06:36What is a woman Estelle's age doing on a skateboard?
06:39And why does Mother have to wait for her anyway?
06:44She's a grown woman.
06:45She can fly by herself.
06:48She's a grown woman.
06:50You're going to put that bag down, honey.
06:52You're going to cut off your oxygen.
06:53That's what I'm trying to do.
06:56Excellent response.
06:57Say, what are you writing down over there anyway?
07:04Who, me?
07:06No, the man in the moon.
07:10Oh, Fred.
07:11I don't know.
07:12He never writes.
07:13He never calls.
07:18Hurry up.
07:19The show's about to start.
07:21I can't believe you're actually forcing me to watch One World to Hope For.
07:25Well, this is a very special episode.
07:27Now sit in the middle here, Dottie Kins.
07:30Best seat in the house.
07:32Yesterday, you said the fireplace was the best seat in the house.
07:35That was yesterday.
07:38Look, there's Alf's name.
07:41Written by Alf Shumway?
07:43You wrote a TV script?
07:45Yes, I wrote it.
07:46What, all you have to do is write a script and they'll put it on the air?
07:50Well, you have to send it in first.
07:52Oh, it's starting.
07:57It's your mother, isn't it?
08:00Yes.
08:01She's been here forever.
08:04Well, what is she talking about?
08:05That character doesn't even have a mother.
08:08She's driving me crazy.
08:10Do you know where she is right now?
08:13At the market.
08:15Buying a decent tile cleaner.
08:17Put the bag down, Monica.
08:21You'll cut off your oxygen.
08:22That's what I'm trying to do.
08:25I have to stir the cheese.
08:28Sit still, Kate.
08:29The cheese can wait.
08:31She's here.
08:32My mother's here.
08:34Back with the tile cleaner.
08:36Hello, Mother.
08:41Hello, Dorothy.
08:43Her name is Dorothy?
08:45Yeah, but that's not the right tile cleaner.
08:49Why are you staring at me like that?
08:52You look like you want to ask me something.
08:54Well, actually, I do.
08:58So?
08:58Go on, ask me.
09:00What, are you going to leave already?
09:02Leave?
09:03You want me to leave?
09:05No, I want the man in the moon to leave.
09:08Yes, I want you to leave.
09:10I want you to go home
09:12and live with your friend, Crazy Miriam.
09:17Mom, wait.
09:25Worked for me.
09:35How can I write dialogue if nobody's going to talk?
09:49Come on, people.
09:50I've got a deadline.
09:53You've got a poison pen is what you've got.
09:56Turning our private conversations into a public spectacle.
10:00How insensitive can you get?
10:02Hey, would you mind if I tape this?
10:05There will be no tape recording and no writing.
10:09Kate, that's dangerously close to censorship.
10:12You are dangerously close to being evicted.
10:14Point made.
10:15Look, uh, I realize what I did was wrong,
10:18but I'm going to make it up to you in this new script.
10:21Well, I'm glad somebody cares about my feelings.
10:25Oh, Mom, I care about your feelings.
10:28I'm sorry that I hurt you.
10:30It's okay.
10:32Listen, maybe I should leave.
10:35I'll call Estelle.
10:37I'll go home today.
10:38I thought Estelle had a sprained leg.
10:43Uh, it wasn't her leg.
10:46It was her ankle.
10:48And I made it up.
10:51What?
10:52Well, I made it up.
10:53I made up the whole story about her ankle
10:56because I didn't want you to know
10:59that I couldn't stand my best friend anymore.
11:02I mean, she was impossible to live with, so I left.
11:05Wait a minute, wait a minute.
11:06Are you telling me that you moved out of Estelle's house?
11:11Yes.
11:12Well, you can't stay here.
11:15How would you like to become a sweater?
11:19Have Dorothy burst into flames.
11:23Why didn't you tell me about you and Estelle before?
11:26Well, you would just feel sorry for me,
11:29and then you'd ask me to stay.
11:32Good, good. Work it out.
11:33I don't have to feel sorry for you
11:36to ask you to stay in my house.
11:38Are you asking me to stay?
11:41I'll get the phone.
11:44Yeah, then leave it off the hook, will ya?
11:46We're on a roll.
11:50Hello?
11:51Who?
11:52Oh, yes.
11:57Yes.
11:59It's for you.
12:00The head writer on One World to Hope for
12:02wants to know where the script is.
12:04Says they're shooting it tomorrow.
12:07Oh, good.
12:08And I don't have squat.
12:09Hello, Trish, doll.
12:14Yeah.
12:15Yeah, oh, I know I said it I'd have it in your hands today,
12:18but I had to make a few changes.
12:20Yeah.
12:21Oh, it's a much better script now.
12:22I thought you didn't have squat.
12:25Well, anyway, here's the new ending I decided to go with.
12:27See, I think we need to put more warmth
12:29and likability into these characters.
12:31Oh, you all right?
12:51Oh, yeah.
12:52Everything's fine.
12:54Why?
12:56Why do you have those clothespins attached to your head?
12:59It's a form of acupressure.
13:02On NOMAC, we use it to relieve writer's block.
13:06Still having trouble with the script, eh?
13:08Oh, read it yourself.
13:11Scene one, interior living root.
13:14Interior living root.
13:17It's a typo.
13:18I mean, give me a break.
13:19I've only got eight fingers.
13:20I'm sorry.
13:21Uh, Monica enters.
13:23She says, good morning.
13:25Well, what's wrong with that?
13:27Bully, there's no one else in the room with her.
13:29I've got the woman talking to chairs.
13:32Oh, I'll never have this finished by tomorrow.
13:35Listen, you ought to try to relax, Elf.
13:38Relax.
13:38Sure, relax.
13:40I've got a deadline.
13:41I mean, I promise to put likability and warmth into these characters.
13:46You know, I had a case of writer's block once.
13:49I was writing a term paper for my art history class.
13:53Or was it my comparative religion class?
13:56What are you, dictating your autobiography?
13:58I'm trying to help here.
14:00Go back in the house.
14:01I can't go back in the house.
14:03There are two women in there who aren't speaking to each other.
14:06Or to me.
14:07Or to you, in fact.
14:10Elf, you've written us into this mess.
14:12Now you've got to write us out.
14:15All right.
14:16All right.
14:17I will.
14:18Put on another pot of coffee.
14:19And get some more clothespins.
14:31You're all going to love this episode.
14:34I promise.
14:35This script is so full of love, compassion, and understanding that you'll throw up.
14:41That good.
14:43Oh, hi.
14:44I'm sorry I'm late.
14:45Did I miss anything?
14:46Just lunch.
14:47Oh, honey, there's some blintzes on a plate.
14:49Right near the stove.
14:49Oh.
14:50Those were for him?
14:53Look, look.
14:54There's the mother.
14:55How about that, huh?
14:56They even dressed her nicer.
14:59Good morning.
15:01Mother.
15:02Does this mean you're speaking to me again?
15:05Monica.
15:07You're my daughter.
15:09Not some alien from another planet.
15:11I wrote that as a joke.
15:14I wrote that as a joke.
15:14They left it in.
15:15Mothers and daughters are bound to have their little quarrels and conflicts.
15:20It's part of this whole wonderful thing we call life.
15:23You're right.
15:24It is nauseating.
15:27I think that it's sweet.
15:29I mean, it lets us know that just because a person says a few unkind things about someone,
15:35it doesn't mean that they don't love them.
15:36So, by the same token, I hope you'll be able to forgive me when I tell you what an ungrateful,
15:46self-centered little tramp you are.
15:49Self-centered little tramp?
15:51Just who do you think you're talking to, you bossy, loud-mouthed freeloader?
15:59Trim?
16:01Freeloader?
16:02They changed my script.
16:04I am not going to sit here and eat toast and listen to this.
16:10Alf, how could you?
16:11I'm telling you, I didn't.
16:13They were hugging and kissing in my script.
16:16I had nothing about toast.
16:19How did you see that centerpiece?
16:21I mean, who's doing props over there?
16:23Rip Taylor?
16:25Well, I am sick of having this entire visit shoved in my face.
16:30Where are the famous suitcases?
16:32Mom, I don't want you to go.
16:34Well, once again, you've brought harmony to our household.
16:39That's not what I wrote.
16:43Here, here, this is what I wrote.
16:46Read it.
16:48There's not one word of violence in there.
16:50Well, I'm just going to pack the rest of my things.
16:53Come back here.
16:54You're not going anywhere.
16:57I mean, not until you read the scene I really wrote.
17:00You could at least give me that.
17:03But you, you just give me one good reason why I should.
17:06Okay.
17:07I'll give you one reason.
17:09Kate.
17:09Now, come on.
17:13Turn to page 18.
17:15Let's all read it out loud.
17:17Kate, you be Monica.
17:19Dorothy, why don't you be Dorothy?
17:21Mom, it's not that I don't want you to live here.
17:34It's just that I'm a married woman.
17:36I have a life of my own, you know.
17:42This is so silly.
17:44Come on, come on.
17:45Just read it.
17:45You're right.
17:48It was wrong of me to impose.
17:50But, you know, I just couldn't help it.
17:52I tried.
17:53But, you know, I couldn't.
17:54Say, doesn't the father have any lines?
17:58Willie, sometimes less is more.
18:01Monica?
18:04You feel a little lost since Dad died, don't you?
18:07It's not easy living alone.
18:16That's why I moved in with Miriam, crazy as she is.
18:19It was someone to talk to, you know?
18:23Miriam asked you to move out, didn't she?
18:27Yes.
18:30Estelle asked you to move out?
18:34That's why your mom came here.
18:35She didn't want to be alone again.
18:38How did you know?
18:40Writer's intuition.
18:42I also called Estelle.
18:44And by the way, you're right.
18:46She is crazy.
18:49Estelle told me that I was bossy and meddlesome
18:52and she couldn't stand another day living with me.
18:57I don't care what Estelle said.
18:59You're my mother and I love you.
19:05I don't know what to say.
19:08Right there.
19:09Middle of the page.
19:11The script.
19:14Oh.
19:18You know what, Monica?
19:20My best friend didn't kick me out.
19:24My best friend...
19:26is right here.
19:29Oh, Mom.
19:31No!
19:32No, no!
19:33First you open the champagne.
19:36Then you hug.
19:37Nobody reads stage directions.
19:39She's a baby dating.
19:55I know.
19:56It's a little bit...
19:57Hi, honey.
19:57Oh, hi, guys.
19:59Willie.
20:03Are you all right?
20:04Yeah.
20:06Yeah.
20:07Say, Dorothy.
20:09Are you sure you don't want me to store these up in the attic?
20:11Uh, no, Willie.
20:13Listen, I plan to find a place of my own as soon as possible.
20:17Well, you know, you're more than welcome to stay here as long as you like.
20:21Now, I know that, kids.
20:22But Alf is right.
20:24I've got to try...
20:26Wait a minute.
20:26How do you phrase that?
20:28I've got to start to make a life of my own.
20:32Alf told you that?
20:33Well, not exactly.
20:35It's in his new script.
20:37New script?
20:40Alf, would you come out here?
20:41We'd like to talk to you for a minute.
20:44Make it quick, Kate.
20:46Things have just started to flow again.
20:48Alf, um, I thought that you gave up script writing.
20:52Yeah, I thought you were so upset with the rewrites
20:54you were never going to write another script again.
20:56I wasn't.
20:57So what happened?
20:59The check came.
20:59I didn't.
21:03I didn't.
21:16I don't know.
21:17I didn't.
21:18We'll see.
21:18Bye.
21:18Bye.
21:18Bye.
21:21Bye.
21:21Bye.
21:27Bye.
21:27Bye.
21:28Bye.
21:28Bye.
21:29Bye.
21:29Bye.
21:30Bye.
21:30Bye.
21:30Ah, ha, ha, ha!