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00:00If anybody wants me, I'll be in the Whirling Hot Tub.
00:05We don't have a Whirling Hot Tub.
00:08I know. I'm gonna improvise.
00:13Any milk for me?
00:15No, sorry.
00:16How about me?
00:18All of it.
00:22But Alf, I don't want you joining any more record clubs.
00:26Fine, fine.
00:27Oh, hey, before I forget, I'll need you to write out a couple of checks.
00:31One to Greenpeace, the other to the Auto Club.
00:35You're a member of the Auto Club?
00:38I like the magazine.
00:40I'm not writing any more checks.
00:42Well, fine. My checks just came.
00:46Oh, darn. I ordered sunrise. They sent me sunset.
00:52Go take your bath.
00:54Fine.
00:54I wish these insurance companies would leave me alone.
00:58I'm already fully covered through the Auto Club.
01:03I just know he's gonna get hair in the drain.
01:06He was wearing a shower cap.
01:12Why was he carrying my mixer into the bathroom?
01:15He said something about a Whirling Hot Tub.
01:18Whoa!
01:19Oh, my gosh.
01:24Alf?
01:25Are you all right?
01:29Alf?
01:31There must be some mistake.
01:34I'm Wayne Schlegel.
01:35Michigan Life and Casualty.
01:37Okay.
01:53There must be some misericrias.
01:53Okay.
01:54Okay.
01:55There must be.
01:56You have to wear it.
01:58You have to wear it.
01:59Okay.
02:00물 is wearing it.
02:01Can we have to wear it.
02:03Okay, starts arts.
02:03Do you wear it?
02:04We must wear it.
02:05Oh, okay.
02:05Untertitelung. BR 2018
02:35Untertitelung. BR 2018
03:05Untertitelung. BR 2018
03:07I-I think he's trying to sell us insurance.
03:11Maybe the bump on his head did something to his memory.
03:14Well, he seems okay otherwise.
03:17He just thinks he's Wayne Schlegel.
03:19Michigan Life and Casualty.
03:24Look, he must have been reading this insurance stuff in the bathroom.
03:27Please, take one of our free calendars.
03:30Thank you.
03:31Are the metric tables.
03:35Listen, Alf.
03:36Wayne.
03:37Wayne.
03:39I-I think that you should sit down.
03:42Don't mind if I do.
03:43What was your name again?
03:45Kate.
03:46And I'm Lynn.
03:48Tanner.
03:49Right.
03:51Kate and Lynn Tanner.
03:52Don't tell me.
03:53You two are sisters, right?
03:57Alf, I want you to stop this.
03:59You are not an insurance agent.
04:02You are an alien from the planet Melmac.
04:06Whatever you say.
04:07The customer's always right.
04:09Now, if I can find my actuarial table...
04:11Alf, she's serious.
04:13Don't you remember?
04:14Willi?
04:17Willi, what's that?
04:19Oh, my gosh.
04:21It can't be.
04:23The lights!
04:24What happened to the lights?
04:26Daddy, Daddy!
04:27What's that thing in the sky?
04:28What's going on?
04:30It's closing in fast.
04:31I think maybe we better...
04:33We...
04:46We have a visitor.
04:53Will?
04:54Well, offhand,
04:56I could think of several policies
04:58that cover roof damage.
05:00But, of course,
05:00since this is a pre-existing condition,
05:03you couldn't claim it
05:04under a new policy.
05:06We're not getting through to him.
05:08What are we gonna do?
05:10I don't know.
05:11Just don't sign anything.
05:15Back.
05:16You must be Mr. Tanner.
05:18Good guess.
05:19Alf.
05:21Wayne Schlegel.
05:23Michigan Life and Casualty.
05:26What's going on here?
05:28Alf is
05:29an insurance agent.
05:31You got a job?
05:32No.
05:33Dad, Alf took a bad fall
05:35on the hot tub
05:35and we think he lost his memory.
05:37Oh, no.
05:38But
05:39we don't have a hot tub.
05:41Well, that's good, Willie,
05:42because
05:42we don't cover hot tubs.
05:44It is Willie, isn't it?
05:46Yes.
05:46We don't cover hot tubs.
05:50We've been trying
05:50to snap him out of it.
05:52Maybe we should call Dr. Jeff.
05:54No, no.
05:55Dr. Jeff doesn't handle
05:56this kind of a thing.
05:58Who does?
05:59Dr. Demento.
06:02Alf.
06:03Wayne.
06:03Wayne.
06:04Willie.
06:04Al.
06:06You're not an insurance agent.
06:08It's not that we have anything
06:09against insurance agents,
06:10but that's not what you are.
06:12You're an alien.
06:13I can't believe it.
06:17What do you think it is?
06:19A real alien.
06:22Willie.
06:24Willie, what is it?
06:27Brian's right.
06:28It's an Alf.
06:29What?
06:30An Alf.
06:31An A-L-F.
06:32That's short for alien life form.
06:35Can I stay in my room?
06:37No.
06:38No, this thing is not staying
06:40in anyone's room.
06:40It's not staying.
06:41Why not?
06:42E.T. got to stay.
06:44E.T. was a movie.
06:45This is real.
06:47This is on our coffee table.
06:51Well, you people
06:52sure spin some crazy yarns.
06:55Mind if I use your phone
06:56to call the office?
06:58Office?
07:00I seem to have forgotten
07:01my number.
07:02Well, it's right here
07:04on your business card.
07:07Willie, let him call.
07:08Maybe he'll realize
07:09he isn't Wayne Schlegel.
07:12Hi, hon.
07:13Wayne.
07:14Yeah, I'm at 555-4044.
07:19Any messages?
07:20Wayne, why do you sound so funny?
07:24Is your wife with you?
07:27No.
07:27Good, then we can talk.
07:30Where were you today?
07:31I waited at the motel
07:32for over an hour.
07:34Uh, I don't remember.
07:36Yeah, well, listen, Buster,
07:38if you think I'm gonna wait
07:39around for you forever,
07:40you are out of your mind.
07:41If you ask for a divorce tonight,
07:43we are through.
07:45Okay, okay.
07:46I'll ask her for a divorce tonight.
07:51Boy, you have a couple of drinks,
07:53a few laughs,
07:54they think it's forever.
07:56This has gone far enough.
07:58You obviously haven't met Brenda.
08:00Neither have you.
08:02Now, look,
08:03you're not an insurance agent.
08:05You don't know anything
08:05about insurance.
08:06A few months ago,
08:07you didn't know anything
08:08about this planet.
08:11It's the day before Christmas.
08:13I've hidden all the eggs.
08:16Alf, we hide eggs at Easter,
08:18not at Christmas.
08:20Oh, that's right.
08:21Christmas is when
08:22we carve the pumpkin.
08:24Well, there's plenty
08:25to keep you occupied.
08:26We've got magazines.
08:28This is a jigsaw puzzle.
08:35It's broken.
08:36That's the object.
08:37You're supposed to put it together.
08:40Why?
08:40I didn't break it.
08:42Alf, how would you like
08:43to go outside
08:44and throw around
08:45the old frisbee?
08:47The old what?
08:48The old frisbee.
08:49Yeah, here.
08:49I'll show you how it goes.
08:53I guess I'm not in the mood.
08:55All right.
08:56Let me see if I've got
08:57this reindeer thing straight.
09:00There's, uh,
09:00there's Dasher,
09:02Dancer,
09:03Comet,
09:05Cupid,
09:06Matthew, Mark,
09:07Luke, and John.
09:08No, it's
09:10Prancer,
09:11Dancer,
09:13Vixen,
09:14Blitzen,
09:16Yui,
09:17Dewey,
09:17and Louie.
09:18No,
09:19those are ducks.
09:21Then how do they
09:22pull the sled?
09:24Just keep your distance,
09:25all right?
09:26And try to be
09:27considerate.
09:29No problem.
09:29That is not
09:31considerate.
09:32That is
09:33the opposite of
09:34considerate.
09:35That is
09:35inconsiderate.
09:36So, now,
09:39isn't it obvious
09:40you're not this
09:41Wayne Schlegel?
09:43The only thing
09:43that's obvious
09:44is that your minds
09:45aren't on insurance.
09:47Listen,
09:48nobody likes to think
09:50about the inevitable,
09:51but you do have
09:52a responsibility
09:53to your family.
09:55He's right, Dad.
09:56We don't need insurance.
09:58And I hope
09:59you never do,
10:00knock wood.
10:02But I'll leave
10:02some brochures.
10:04You can call me
10:04when you're ready
10:05to talk.
10:05By the way,
10:07Willie,
10:07are you parked
10:07behind me?
10:08I don't think so.
10:09Good.
10:11Where did I put
10:11my coat?
10:14In fact,
10:15where did I put
10:16my pants?
10:17Oh, my God.
10:18I'm naked.
10:20Well,
10:20not to us,
10:21you aren't.
10:22Okay,
10:22so you're
10:23free thinkers.
10:24Well, I'm not.
10:25I want my keys,
10:26I want my pants,
10:28and I want to leave.
10:29Don't let him go.
10:29Oh, oh.
10:32Out of my way,
10:33all of you.
10:33No.
10:35Oh, no.
10:37First,
10:37you stripped me.
10:39Now,
10:39you're holding me
10:40prisoner.
10:41I've heard about
10:42this happening
10:42to other insurance
10:43agents,
10:44but I never thought
10:45it would happen
10:46to me.
10:53You can't keep me here.
10:55This is for your own
10:55good, Wayne.
10:56I mean,
10:57Alf.
10:57You're in big
10:58trouble, mister.
10:59You're gonna go
10:59to jail for this.
11:00You may never
11:01get out,
11:02and if you do,
11:03just try getting
11:04insurance.
11:06Please,
11:06please, Alf.
11:07Just,
11:08just try to calm
11:09down,
11:09and maybe,
11:10maybe things
11:10will start
11:11coming back to you.
11:12I don't want
11:12to calm down.
11:13I'm a high-energy
11:14salesman.
11:15How do you think
11:16I made the
11:16million-dollar club?
11:18Look around you,
11:19Alf.
11:19Doesn't any of this
11:20seem familiar to you?
11:22Is that what
11:23this is all about?
11:25Did I have an affair
11:26with your wife, too?
11:35Morning.
11:36Hey, I'm sorry.
11:37One thing just led
11:39to another, Willie.
11:40No, no, no.
11:41No, I think we can
11:42be reasonably sure
11:43that that did not
11:44happen.
11:45In fact,
11:46at first,
11:46the two of you
11:47didn't even really...
11:49She detested you.
11:50Yes.
11:56What's going on there?
12:02Nothing.
12:03Just screaming.
12:05Move out of the way.
12:06No problem.
12:11Let me put it this way,
12:12Willie.
12:13I don't think
12:14this is going to work out.
12:15I'll take care of it.
12:17Everything's fine.
12:18Everything's under control.
12:19Interesting concept.
12:30So we've
12:31straightened that out.
12:32I didn't have
12:33an affair with your wife.
12:34Now,
12:35if you'll just
12:36give me my pants...
12:37I can't but to leave.
12:39Look,
12:40if the plan
12:41is to hold me
12:41for ransom,
12:42you could forget
12:43about it.
12:44My company
12:44has a policy
12:45of not negotiating
12:46with terrorists.
12:47We do, however,
12:50have some other
12:51policies you might
12:51be interested in,
12:52Willie.
12:53In fact,
12:54I could set you up
12:55with a whole life...
12:56How old are you?
12:57I'm 45.
12:58Hmm, 45.
12:59We better act fast.
13:01I could set you up
13:02with a whole life policy
13:04that will benefit
13:05you and your family
13:06for years to come.
13:07Just think about this,
13:08Willie.
13:10Oh, uh,
13:11hello, Dr. Schneckmeyer.
13:13Uh, yeah.
13:13Uh, listen,
13:14uh, doctor,
13:16it seems that, uh,
13:16a house guest of ours
13:17has, uh,
13:18uh, come down
13:19with amnesia.
13:21No,
13:22we can't bring him in.
13:23Uh, listen,
13:23isn't there some kind
13:24of, you know,
13:24home remedy we can try,
13:26you know,
13:26breathing into a paper bag
13:27or...
13:28What?
13:29What does he say to do?
13:31Hit him on the head
13:32with a rolling pin.
13:35No, I don't think
13:35that's funny.
13:37No, I don't watch
13:38the Three Stooges.
13:40You're right,
13:41I should.
13:42Uh, listen, doctor,
13:42I think we'll try
13:43the hospital.
13:45Yes, I'm sure
13:46he has insurance.
13:47Bye-bye.
13:49Should I get
13:50the rolling pin?
13:51No, we can't
13:53hit him on the head
13:53with a rolling pin.
13:55At least we shouldn't.
13:57We certainly can't
13:58take him to the hospital.
14:00So we're stuck
14:00having an insurance agent
14:02living in our laundry room.
14:03Why does Alf
14:04keep doing things like this?
14:05Oh, Mom,
14:05it's not like
14:06this is his fault.
14:07He's like a three-year-old,
14:08you have to keep
14:09your eye on him
14:09constantly.
14:10So, how was the shower?
14:15Look at this place.
14:16What in the world?
14:18Alf, what are you
14:19doing in my dress?
14:21Sorry, I thought
14:22it was Lynn's.
14:24You've really done
14:25it this time.
14:26Any semblance
14:27of faith or trust
14:29I had in you
14:30is gone.
14:31Willie, my jewelry
14:31box is missing.
14:32So are my good
14:36gold cufflinks
14:37and my good watch.
14:40And my antique cameo.
14:42Where are they?
14:43Probably being pawned.
14:45The police are here.
14:47What'd you do, Alf?
14:49Sure.
14:50Blame the guy
14:50in the dress.
14:52Now, don't make a sound.
14:53Stay right here
14:54and take off
14:55the dress.
14:57All right,
14:57but I feel it only
14:58fair to warn you
14:59I'm not wearing
15:00anything underneath.
15:02Willie, my man.
15:05I gotta tell you
15:06this thing flies
15:08like the wind.
15:10Where are you?
15:11What happened?
15:12I don't know.
15:13All I did was
15:14turn the engine on.
15:16Before I knew it,
15:17I was on the freeway.
15:19What freeway?
15:20The one headed
15:21for Oxnard.
15:23Nice move, buddy.
15:25Yeah, you're another one.
15:27Alf, Alf,
15:28pull off the road.
15:28Pull the car
15:29off the road.
15:30I can't.
15:31I'm in the fast lane.
15:32Although you'd never know
15:33it by the way
15:34these clowns are driving.
15:36Come on, lady.
15:37This ain't a parade.
15:39Alf, don't yell
15:41at the other drivers.
15:42They'll see you.
15:43No way.
15:44I'm driving too fast.
15:46Hey,
15:46ever hear a turn signal?
15:48Just look, Alf.
15:49Listen to me.
15:50Look at the road signs.
15:51Try to find out.
15:52Look at exactly
15:53where you are.
15:54Well, uh,
15:55I just passed
15:56the Motel 6.
15:59Hey,
15:59they're having
16:00a beekeepers convention.
16:02Ouch!
16:02Ow!
16:03Ow!
16:03Ow!
16:04Oh, gotta go!
16:05Can you hold this wire
16:07while I turn on the juice?
16:08Sure.
16:08Right there.
16:09No, that's my short wave
16:10radio!
16:14Do you know
16:15how long
16:17I...
16:19long?
16:19It took me 10 years
16:23to put that thing together.
16:25I'm glad to see
16:26you haven't wasted
16:27your life.
16:29First the phone
16:30and now the radio.
16:31Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:32What about the phone?
16:33You're on it all the time.
16:35Fine.
16:36First I can't use
16:37the radio.
16:38Now I can't use
16:39the phone.
16:40What next?
16:42The curling iron?
16:43Your toothbrush?
16:45You use my toothbrush?
16:46Yours is the green one,
16:47right?
16:49It was.
16:53William Tanner?
16:54Yes?
16:54I've got a delivery
16:55here for you
16:56from the Terry Faith Company.
16:57Hold it!
16:57Wait just a minute!
16:58I'm not signing anything!
17:00No signatures necessary.
17:01This was all paid for
17:02over the phone.
17:04I'll be back with the rest
17:05when I get a bigger truck.
17:07Keep the faith.
17:11$4,000.
17:13Yep, that matches my total.
17:16Ow!
17:17How were you able
17:17to purchase $4,000
17:19with the makeup?
17:20Plastic.
17:21I put it on your visa.
17:23Oh, incidentally,
17:24you're over your limit.
17:26Here.
17:30Ah!
17:31Ah!
17:34Ah!
17:35Ah!
17:35Ah!
17:36Ah!
17:37Ah!
17:37Ah!
17:38Ah!
17:38Ah!
17:39Ah!
17:39Ah!
17:40Ah!
17:40Ah!
17:41Ah!
17:41Ah!
17:42Ah!
17:42Ah!
17:43Ah!
17:43Ah!
17:44Ah!
17:44Ah!
17:45Ah!
17:45Ah!
17:46Ah!
17:46Brace fire!
17:47Brace fire!
17:48Ow!
17:49Oh, no.
17:49Oh, no.
17:52Never mind the curtains.
17:53Put me out!
17:55Well, we did get new curtains.
17:58The other curtains
17:59were new curtains.
17:59Maybe we can get Wayne to give us Alf insurance
18:03Before we moved offices
18:06We must have only had maybe 12
18:081500 square feet
18:11We were literally
18:12Packed in there like sardines
18:14Boy that place was so small
18:17I had to go into Sadowski's office
18:19To change my mind
18:21Where are you going with that?
18:26I thought Mr. Schlegel might want a snack
18:27Of course in our new place
18:34Oh by the way
18:35Did I give you a business card?
18:38In the new place
18:39The traffic flow is much better
18:42And we've got a men
18:43And a woman's restroom
18:45Yeah, oh the underwriters are pretty happy about that
18:48Boy they sure are
18:50I've never seen them so
18:51Are you listening Willie?
18:56You know I liked you better
18:57As an alien
18:58You were annoying
18:59But you were never boring
19:01Oh hi Brian
19:06I brought you a snack Mr. Schlegel
19:10At least somebody has compassion
19:13What is this junk?
19:17Your favorite food
19:18Donuts and brownies
19:19What are you trying to do?
19:21Kill me?
19:22I'll have you know
19:23I've got a very delicate stomach
19:25Nice meal King
19:30Even though the portions were extremely small
19:33Sorry we only had one pot roast
19:36Oh you two get these holidays straightened out
19:39I think I'll just go make breakfast
19:41Not necessary
19:42I already made breakfast
19:44Sloppy Joes and fiberglass
19:46There's hair in this tuna fish
19:49I like it
19:53You must be hungry
19:58You didn't even say grace
19:59Grace
20:02There's something wrong?
20:09You didn't eat all the cat food too
20:11Did you?
20:12No way
20:13I draw the line
20:14At intestinal byproducts
20:16Take this food away son
20:18I'm not eating
20:19Till you let me go
20:20What am I going to do?
20:30I know
20:31What if I
20:33What if I show you a mirror?
20:34All right
20:38Maybe I need a shave
20:39Is this the face
20:42Of an insurance agent?
20:44Yeah
20:44All right
20:45I'm no Burt Sadowski
20:47But
20:47Then Burt Sadowski
20:49Is not in the million dollar club
20:50This isn't
20:52You're not an insurance agent
20:53You're an alien
20:54Can't you see that?
20:56Listen Willie
20:57What do you want from me?
20:59You obviously don't want a policy
21:01I want you to get your memory back
21:03Is that it?
21:04Okay
21:05Hey
21:06Hey
21:07It's coming back to me now
21:08It's like a veil being lifted
21:10I'm
21:11I'm an alien
21:12Yeah
21:13That's what I am
21:14And I'm from the planet
21:15Millsap
21:16No Mac
21:17Fine
21:18Can I have my pants now?
21:20You're not going to leave here
21:21Hey
21:22We had a deal Willie
21:23I'm sorry
21:24You're just going to have to trust me
21:26It's far too dangerous for you out there
21:29Mrs. Tad
21:30I would have received an anonymous tip
21:31That you might be harboring a space creature
21:34A space creature?
21:36Yes
21:36Hairy
21:38About three feet tall
21:39Is
21:41Is he considered dangerous?
21:44Hard to tell until we get in the lab
21:46And
21:47What would you do with him
21:49If you did get him
21:50You know
21:50In the lab?
21:51Usual battery of tests
21:53We'll see how it responds to intense heat
21:55Freezing cold
21:57High voltage
21:58Toxic substances
22:00Pain
22:01Sleep deprivation
22:03Inoculation
22:05That's needles
22:06And of course
22:08Dissection
22:08Why don't you just
22:11Pull its toenails out?
22:14You didn't let me finish
22:15You know what that is?
22:21It's an anteater
22:22Are you sure?
22:25Yeah
22:25And it's against the law
22:26To shoot anteaters
22:27What are you talking about?
22:33You could shoot anteaters
22:34I don't care what he is
22:39I'm going to take him out
22:39And butcher him
22:40Why do you always get to do all the butchering?
22:45Because
22:46You usually end up mutilating all the good meat
22:49I'll get the chainsaw
22:51You make the salad
22:52Trevor
23:02Is there such a thing as a cross between a kangaroo and an aardvark?
23:06Stop putting yourself down
23:08I'm not talking about me
23:10I'm talking about that thing staring at me from the bathroom window
23:13What?
23:17I don't see nothing
23:19Well it was there a second ago
23:20And I think it was shaving
23:22Yeah right
23:23And I'm Sean Penn
23:25All right
23:31Let's see if I'm following this Willie
23:33There are people out there who want to hurt me
23:36So you're protecting me
23:38By locking me
23:40Naked in your bedroom
23:41And feeding me sugar
23:42Something like that
23:44I'm going to go find Kate
23:48And see if she's found anyone to help you
23:50Yeah
23:50See if she can find any help for you
23:52It's obvious I'm not going to make this sale
23:57Well I'm not getting anywhere with him
24:01Did the doctor give you any advice?
24:04Yeah
24:04But it didn't help
24:05Mrs. Akmonic has my rolling pin
24:07Dad isn't there some sort of a psychiatric hotline we could call?
24:12Yes
24:12555-8533
24:14I memorized that number when Alf moved in
24:17Oh sorry Alf
24:19Alf
24:20What are you doing on the phone?
24:22Ha
24:22Your goose is cooked now bucko
24:25I've called the police
24:26He's called the police?
24:41I can't believe you called the police
24:44Believe it pal
24:45What goes around comes around
24:47What are we going to do when the police come here?
24:50Well why don't you tell them that they're aliens
24:53And then take their clothes
24:55Look who took whose clothes?
24:58You don't know the mistake you just made
25:01Yeah
25:01Well you're the one who's making a mistake
25:03Tangling with a man from Michigan life
25:06Life and casualty
25:08Now the cops are going to lock you up
25:12And you'll get a taste of what it's like to be a prisoner
25:15I already know what that's like
25:17Thanks to you
25:19I can't believe Alf actually used your shortwave to call the president
25:23Shh
25:23I don't know what happened
25:29All I know is somebody used my radio
25:31And now I'm a criminal
25:32And they're going to hang me
25:33Lily
25:34I don't think they hang people anymore
25:37But they think I'm a threat to national security
25:39A terrorist
25:41Kate
25:41I'm not a terrorist
25:44Honey
25:45I know that
25:46I'm not going to prison
25:48I saw Midnight Express
25:50You remember?
25:51They made him eat bugs
25:53That was Papillon
25:54In Midnight Express they broke his feet
25:56I stand corrected
25:58How about stir crazy?
26:00That wasn't so bad
26:01That was a comedy
26:02Lily stop
26:05It's obvious you have to tell the truth
26:07Of course the truth
26:08I'll just
26:09I'll explain it to them
26:10An alien took control of my radio
26:12Why would he do that?
26:14They'll ask
26:14And I'll say
26:15Because I wouldn't let him use the phone
26:17So you were an ex-con
26:21Then you're familiar with your Miranda rights
26:24Look
26:25I'm not the one
26:26Who's going to jail here
26:27Buddy
26:28You're not my buddy
26:30You're not my buddy
26:32But you could have been
26:34If you hadn't taken my pants
26:36Hello
26:42It's for Wayne Schlegel
26:54Hello
26:55Wayne
26:56Wayne
26:58I'm sorry I lost my temper
27:01But you see
27:03Tubby had just come in
27:04And dumped a whole stack
27:05Of workman comp files
27:06On my desk
27:07And then
27:07He had the nerve
27:08To ask me to alphabetize them
27:10And
27:10Oh
27:11I guess I just took it all out on you
27:14Look honey
27:15I pressured you Wayne
27:17And I'm sorry
27:18I know that wasn't part of our arrangement
27:21Look
27:22If I have to share you
27:25So be it
27:26There's enough of Wayne Schlegel
27:29To go around
27:30So let's just pretend
27:31The whole thing never happened
27:33And I'll meet you
27:33In our usual place
27:34In half an hour
27:35Okay
27:35I'd love to
27:36But I can't
27:37I'm being held hostage here
27:40Oh sure
27:41Just like the last time
27:42When you had to go to Sweden
27:43To accept the Nobel Prize
27:44We are through
27:46Mr. Schlegel
27:47In fact
27:48Right after I finish
27:49Alphabetizing these files
27:50I'm going over to your house
27:51And telling your wife
27:52Everything
27:53Goodbye Wayne Schlegel
27:55No
27:57Hello
27:57Hello
27:58Hello
27:58I've just lost
28:08A perfectly good marriage
28:10Thanks to you
28:10Not to mention
28:12A fantastic
28:13Hey
28:13Secretary
28:15What are we going to do
28:18Let's look at our options
28:20We have no options
28:21The police are going to come here
28:23And search our house
28:24For a kidnapped insurance agent
28:26Named Wayne Schlegel
28:27Michigan life and casualty
28:30I thought we didn't have a Wayne Schlegel
28:32Wayne Schlegel
28:33We don't have a Wayne Schlegel
28:35Instead we have an alien from outer space
28:37They'll just have to be content with that
28:39So we're just going to give up
28:41Is that what you're saying?
28:42Well it looks like we may have no other choice
28:43That's very sensible of you
28:46I'll talk to the judge
28:47And tell him I was treated very well Willie
28:50Well I'm not going to give up
28:52Look Alf
28:53Wayne
28:54No you're Alf
28:55And I'm Lynn
28:56We're friends
28:58Don't try to strike an independent deal
29:01Don't you remember how close we were?
29:06Oh Alf
29:07What are we going to do with you?
29:11I guess you'll just have to love me
29:12For as long as it lasts
29:14We will
29:16You even wrote me a rock song
29:20I'll play the video for you
29:22I'm against rock videos
29:27They contribute to the delinquency and destruction
29:30Of the family unit
29:32Well this video hasn't done that
29:34Not yet anyway
29:35Take a look at
29:57Me
29:57And tell me what you see
29:59Just another pretty face
30:02Some clown from out of town
30:05Who came to hang around
30:07And look a little out of place
30:09You say you wonder what I'm doing here
30:14I'm only here to tell you girl
30:17I may be an unknown from the twilight zone
30:22But you're the one who's out of this world
30:25You're the one who's out of this world
30:30Sweet baby
30:31You're the one who's out of this world
30:34I'm spinning in an orbit
30:37I ain't never been in
30:39Because you're the one who's out of this world
30:39Because you're the one who's out of this world
30:41Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
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33:51Happy birthday, Daddy.
33:53Thank you, son.
33:54Many more, Dad.
33:55Thanks, sweetheart.
33:57Thank you, Alf.
33:59Thank you.
34:04Whoa, not bad.
34:06Still waters run deep there, William.
34:13So I'm part of the family, huh?
34:15Well, then tell me,
34:17what side of the family does this nose come from?
34:19Ah!
34:21That's Alf's laugh!
34:23Whoa.
34:25Where did that come from?
34:27You're not a blood relative.
34:29You're a part of our family
34:31because of the way you've affected our lives,
34:34made them more interesting.
34:35Unique.
34:37Fun.
34:38Bizarre.
34:43I'm going into a trance now.
34:47Ah!
34:49You don't have to make rude noises.
35:00That's all right.
35:01I don't mind.
35:03Hey, Willie, come here.
35:04Listen to this.
35:06Let me know when this gets irritating, okay?
35:11Now.
35:12Now!
35:12It's irritating almost at once.
35:15Let me see what Willie's got in scope.
35:17Oh, my gosh!
35:20It's somebody's hand!
35:22Some glove.
35:23Oh.
35:24We appreciate all the trouble you've gone to.
35:27I mean, cutting roses so they look like radishes.
35:31And making pâté.
35:33And very good pâté, too.
35:35What's in it?
35:36Let me guess.
35:37There's lobster.
35:38There's sour cream.
35:40But there's...
35:41There's something else.
35:43Play-Doh.
35:45That's it.
35:46The fluorescent kind.
35:48I wanted it to be special.
35:50I'm just going to go brush my teeth.
35:52Oh, gross!
35:57What is that?
35:59It's a slime ball.
36:02Alf!
36:02I know what you're going to say.
36:04I shouldn't bring treats to the table unless I have enough for everyone.
36:10Well, we're in luck.
36:11No, we're not.
36:13You sure?
36:14There's a surprise in the center.
36:16Alf, where did you get those?
36:18No, Mac.
36:20I usually buy wild cherry, but all they had left was slug.
36:24Oh!
36:28I just checked into the Parasite Hotel.
36:34They ain't got a porter or a bell.
36:40I checked into that Parasite Hotel.
36:45I'm sorry.
36:46Wasn't playing too loudly.
36:48I didn't know you could play the piano.
36:50Well, I was winging it.
36:52It's hard to play without the red keys.
36:55I think you should leave this for a qualified repairman.
36:58Well, Mr. Smarty, it's Mr. Science.
37:03For your information, I've located the problem.
37:06There's no power going into the high-voltage transformer.
37:12Hey, you want power?
37:13That would help.
37:15Your call.
37:16Your call.
37:17It was an accident.
37:25An accident?
37:27You almost killed me, and you say it was an accident?
37:31All right.
37:34Let's call it a mistake.
37:36So, the droid says to the Cranville, to tell you the truth, I'd feel even better if she lived
37:42another six light-years away.
37:43I think that really wasn't going to be six light-years away.
37:43I guess you ought to be there.
37:58I was.
37:59I'll tell you my favorite droid joke.
38:07Wait.
38:09What's a droid?
38:11You're remembering.
38:12You're remembering.
38:13Alf, you aren't in there.
38:14He's starting to remember.
38:15He's starting to remember.
38:26Yeah, it must be working.
38:27Jane.
38:28Quick, let's remind him of other things, like the time you washed Dad's camera in the washing
38:32machine, or the time you waxed the driveway.
38:34Or the time you built the termite farm in the attic.
38:37Yeah.
38:38Hey, hey, I heard it was the food of the future.
38:40You do remember.
38:41No.
38:42I, I don't even know why I said that.
38:45You're getting me all confused.
38:47You're, you're brainwashing me.
38:49We just want our Alf back.
38:51Why are you so hung up on this guy anyway?
38:54He seems like nothing but a pain in the neck.
38:57What?
38:58Not entirely.
38:59See, why do you think we were so upset about you calling the police?
39:03It's, it's not because we were afraid of getting caught.
39:06It's because we were afraid of losing you.
39:09I don't want to lose you.
39:11Well, you're my best friend.
39:13Come on, Brian.
39:16Give us a hug.
39:18Oh, Alf.
39:21Happy birthday, kid.
39:24I love you.
39:26Yeah, me too.
39:29Well, I'm in the wind.
39:32I'm in the wind.
39:34Ciao.
39:37Arrivederci.
39:40Goodbye.
39:43And good night, Mrs. Akmanek.
39:46Wherever you are.
39:48You missed your ride.
40:03Yeah.
40:04I guess I did.
40:05He's staying.
40:07I'm staying.
40:09You gave up Ronda for us?
40:11Ah, she'll only want me more after a couple of centuries.
40:15Aren't you gonna miss her?
40:17Yeah.
40:19But, uh, I guess what it boils down to is, I'd miss you more.
40:26You love us that much?
40:32Yeah.
40:33I guess I do.
40:35We love you too, Alf.
40:38We really do.
40:39Let's not get maudlin.
40:42Welcome home, Alf Meister.
40:45Say, what is that scratching noise?
40:50What scratching noise?
40:52It's coming from your suitcase.
40:54What suitcase?
41:00Lucky, you bad boy.
41:02What are you doing in there?
41:04I told him, no suitcase, no suitcase.
41:06Aww.
41:07Why would I be putting a cat in a suitcase?
41:12On a dinner plate, I could understand.
41:15Breast of cat.
41:17But...
41:18Wait a minute!
41:19That's crazy!
41:21But it does sound tasty.
41:24Yo, Kate.
41:26Where do you keep your casserole dishes?
41:28Why?
41:30The cat won't fit in the toaster.
41:34That hurts.
41:35Oh.
41:36I'm so embarrassed.
41:38Persian.
41:3978.
41:41Could be a 79.
41:46Your eyelids are getting heavy.
41:50You are getting sleepy.
41:54You are no longer a cat.
41:57You are a bagel.
42:00You scared me.
42:01You ought to wear a belt.
42:03What's going on here?
42:05Uh, um, I was just, uh, teaching Lucky how to tell time.
42:11He's quick.
42:12I'll give him that.
42:20No! It's not true!
42:22Brian, go get Lucky.
42:23I'm Lucky.
42:24All right.
42:26Syllogism.
42:28Insurance agents do not eat cats.
42:31I am an insurance agent.
42:33Therefore, I do not eat cats.
42:36But you do!
42:38I don't!
42:39Right now, I could walk over to that refrigerator over there.
42:42You know?
42:43Take out a couple of slices of whole wheat bread.
42:47A little mayo.
42:48And slap together a BLT.
42:51That's bacon, Lucky, and tomato.
42:55Yeah!
42:56I could do that.
42:57But I won't.
43:00And why is that?
43:03Because...
43:07They trust me.
43:11But don't get too comfortable.
43:13I don't know anymore.
43:14Maybe I do.
43:15Maybe I don't eat cats.
43:16I don't know!
43:17I don't!
43:18I don't!
43:19Lucky!
43:21It worked!
43:22He's back!
43:24What about my back?
43:26Yep, he's back.
43:27Are you okay?
43:28What do you remember?
43:29Let's see.
43:30The last thing I remember is this big flash of light.
43:34I smiled because I thought someone was taking my picture.
43:38And that's about it.
43:40Oh, and also that term insurance is cheaper than whole life.
43:44Oh, and also that term insurance is cheaper than whole life.
43:47Well, it's a start.
43:51Oh, my gosh!
43:52It's the police!
43:54Now what did you guys do?
43:55I swear, if it's not one thing with this family, it's another.
43:59Hey, what am I doing in this cheap polyester suit?
44:03Come on now, you better go.
44:05Fine.
44:06If you all need me, I'll be in the whirling hot tub.
44:09If you all need me, I'll be in the whirling hot tub.
44:17Okay, thanks.
44:19Good news.
44:20We located Wayne Schlegel.
44:22He was in the hospital.
44:24His wife got to him first.
44:26We'll have to go visit him.
44:29I'm so glad we got that cleared up.
44:30I just knew the whole thing had to be a practical joke.
44:34Sorry we had to search your home.
44:36I'm sure you understand.
44:38No problem.
44:39I'll send you one of our safety brochures.
44:41And remember, 33% of all accidents happen in the home.
44:48And that number goes up when you live with an alien.
44:50Is the heat gone?
44:56Yes.
44:58But I hope you remember what he said about misusing appliances.
45:02No.
45:03I was hiding in the dryer.
45:20No.
45:21And that number goes down.
45:23Yes.
45:28Yes.
45:30No.
45:31Yes.
45:32Yes.
45:33Yes.
45:34Because of the 사람들,
45:39I hear the experiments and SFV this comparison.
45:40Yes.
45:41Yes.
45:42Yes.
45:43And he lookedين them up until later.
45:46No.
45:47Untertitelung des ZDF für funk, 2017