- hace 5 meses
Max's assignment in Hong Kong is to get a new secret weapon from a tailor (Leonard Strong). The new weapon, as it turns out, is a man's blazer with a button on it that activates a laser beam of great strength — a "laser blazer". However, Max doesn't know that the blazer is the weapon... in his view, he's left the tailor's shop merely with a sportscoat he didn't want. Confusion ensues afterward as various people activate the laser by mistake. Julie Newmar guest stars as the new maid 99 hires who is really an undercover KAOS agent after the sportscoat.
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TVTranscripción
00:30Now, observe carefully.
00:45Well, what do you think?
00:47Amazing.
00:48A laser weapon no larger than the size of a button.
00:51And it also comes in brass.
00:53What's the difference?
00:54Brass buttons are 450 more.
00:56When you told us you had a new laser, I expected a big, heavy piece of equipment.
01:02That's the most amazing weapon Control's ever had.
01:05What's it called?
01:06Laser blazer.
01:09Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, will be here any minute to pick the laser up and take it back to Washington.
01:14Now, he doesn't know exactly what it is he's to pick up.
01:16All he knows is it's some sort of secret weapon.
01:19Oh, then I'd better sew up this change pocket so he doesn't activate the laser accidentally.
01:24Well, I have to be in Manila in an hour, so I'd better go back to the hotel and change into my Manila makeup.
01:30Goodbye, Lin-chan.
01:31Lin-chan.
01:53At your service.
01:58I'm Maxwell Smart.
02:00I understand from some very special friends in Washington that I can get something here that they don't have there.
02:07That is true.
02:09And here it is.
02:10A beautiful blazer.
02:12No, no, no, no, no, no.
02:13You don't understand.
02:14I didn't come here to shop.
02:15I came here to get something big, something very special.
02:19Sir, you take this jacket.
02:21Believe me, you will love it.
02:23Your boss will love it.
02:25It was made especially to order for you.
02:27I didn't order a jacket.
02:29Well, you don't have to order a jacket.
02:32That's the way we operate.
02:33When you buy a suit from me, you get a blazer free.
02:36Yes, but I didn't buy a suit from you.
02:38No, then what's that you're wearing?
02:39But this, it's a suit.
02:41You see?
02:42Now take the blazer and move on.
02:44I've got this suit in Baltimore.
02:46That doesn't matter.
02:48My suits sell all over the world under different names.
02:51Yes, but this was made by Harry Goldstone.
02:53That's me.
02:55It is?
02:56Sure.
02:58Well, that's funny.
02:58You don't look at Harry.
02:59Here, you take this blazer and have a nice flight back to United States.
03:06All right, Lynn Chan.
03:07I'll take the jacket.
03:08But not in this color.
03:10What's the only color it come in?
03:12Oh.
03:13Well, in that case, let me try it on.
03:15You don't have to try it on.
03:18Believe me, it fit perfect.
03:19Yes, well, there's nothing like making sure.
03:22There, you see?
03:23Fit perfect.
03:23What do you mean it fits perfect?
03:25I haven't even got it on yet.
03:27I am a tailor.
03:28Take my word for it.
03:30Yeah, what I tell you, perfect.
03:32Are you kidding me?
03:34This is long enough to be an overcoat.
03:36Okay.
03:37So you've got long jacket or short overcoat.
03:40Take your choice.
03:41I can't even see my hands.
03:44Then you don't need gloves.
03:48Eh, look.
03:49Why don't I leave this jacket here to be altered,
03:50and I'll come back tomorrow and pick it up.
03:53Tomorrow, I ain't gonna be here.
03:55I'm gonna be in lunatic asylum.
03:58You take the jacket.
04:00Have it altered in United States.
04:02All right, Lynch Ann.
04:03I'll take the jacket.
04:05I'll take it in this color,
04:06and I'll take it without being altered.
04:08But I must have the buttons changed.
04:10The buttons?
04:11But that is the best part of the blazer.
04:13You can't get these buttons where you come from.
04:16Yes, but I don't like these buttons.
04:17I want it.
04:23Ah, well, thank you very much, Lynch Ann,
04:25for your time and your trouble.
04:36Okay, Chan, I got rid of the guy that was following me.
04:38Now, where is it?
04:39Where is it?
04:41You got it.
04:43Yes, but don't you have something else for me?
04:46Yes, this.
04:49And you tell your friends in Washington,
04:51I don't want to do business with them anymore.
04:53Well, look, if you feel that way about it,
05:00here, take your jacket back.
05:02Here, now!
05:06Holy kumquat!
05:08Holy kumquat!
05:09Holy kumquat!
05:10Holy kumquat!
05:11Holy kumquat!
05:12Holy kumquat!
05:13Holy kumquat!
05:14Holy kumquat!
05:15Holy kumquat!
05:16Holy kumquat!
05:17Holy kumquat!
05:18Holy kumquat!
05:19Holy kumquat!
05:20Holy kumquat!
05:21Holy kumquat!
05:22Holy kumquat!
05:23Holy kumquat!
05:24Holy kumquat!
05:25Holy kumquat!
05:26Holy kumquat!
05:27Holy kumquat!
05:28Holy kumquat!
05:29Holy kumquat!
05:30Holy kumquat!
05:31Holy kumquat!
05:32Holy kumquat!
05:33Holy kumquat!
05:34Holy kumquat!
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07:05Max!
07:08Max!
07:09How was your trip to Hong Kong?
07:12The worst. Absolutely the worst.
07:1499, I tell you, in all my years as a control agent,
07:17this is the most frustrating case that I've ever been on.
07:20I went to this tailor shop in Hong Kong like the chief instructed me.
07:23But there was a chaos agent following me.
07:25What happened?
07:26Well, the tailor pretended that I was a customer who had come to pick up a blazer.
07:31So I took the blazer and I left the tailor shop and lost the chaos agent who was following me.
07:35Well, didn't you go back to the tailor shop?
07:37The next day, but the tailor was gone.
07:39Couldn't you locate him again?
07:40Yes, but they weren't allowing him any visitors.
07:43Well, 99, I went all the way to Hong Kong to pick up a secret weapon and I came back with a sports jacket.
07:51Looks like I've messed everything up.
07:52Oh, don't feel badly, Max.
07:54You've messed things up before and you'll mess things up again.
07:58You're just saying that to make me feel good.
08:00That's what a wife's for.
08:01You know, 99, coming back on the plane, I kept saying to myself, how am I going to tell the chief about this?
08:07And then I figured it out.
08:08There's only one way to do it.
08:09I have to go right down to his office, stand right up to him, look him right in the eye and lie.
08:14You can tell him the truth.
08:16Oh, why didn't I think of that?
08:18Besides, you don't have to worry about him today.
08:20He's detained in Manila.
08:21He'll be back tomorrow.
08:22Good.
08:22That'll give me a chance to think up a good true story.
08:25Why don't you just relax, Max?
08:26I have to finish vacuuming.
08:28I want to get the house all cleaned up before the maid gets here.
08:31The maid?
08:36What maid?
08:37I've hired a maid, Max.
08:38I found out there just weren't enough hours in the day to be an efficient housewife and a good spy.
08:43But 99, if you've hired a maid, then may I ask what you're doing cleaning up the apartment?
08:47Well, if she comes and finds the apartment a mess, she might not want the job.
08:5199, we can't have a maid here.
08:53It's not safe.
08:54Well, we just won't leave any top-secret information lying around.
08:57Well, it's not that that I'm worried about, 99.
08:59It's the liquor that I'm worried about.
09:01Oh, Max, you don't have to worry.
09:02I got her from the Control Employment Agency.
09:05Well, that does it.
09:07You know how that bunch drinks.
09:10Please.
09:12I'm sorry, 99, but we can't afford a maid.
09:15Yes, we can afford it.
09:16We're both working.
09:2099, you don't understand.
09:22There's been a cutback at control.
09:23From now on, all Control Agents have to pay for their guns, knives, and ammunition out of their own personal pockets.
09:29Well, that won't amount to much.
09:30Why not?
09:31Because both Chaos and Control have agreed to cut down on violence.
09:35Oh, Max, that must be her now.
09:37Please, please, can't we keep her?
09:38No, we cannot, 99.
09:40I'm sorry, but we cannot afford a maid.
09:42And that is final.
09:43And I'm going to tell her that right now.
09:45How do you do?
09:47I'm Ingrid, your maid.
09:50I thought you started to be late.
09:52Oh, come right in, Ingrid.
09:54We were beginning to get worried about you.
09:55Hello, I'm Mrs. Smart.
10:00Ingrid.
10:01Could I help you with your bag, Ingrid?
10:02Oh, thank you.
10:03I hope you'll be pleased with the way I clean.
10:06Oh, I'm sure I will be.
10:07Where can I hang this?
10:08Oh, there's a closet right over there.
10:10Oh, I'll take that.
10:12She's very beautiful, Max.
10:17When you've seen one maid, you've seen them all, 99.
10:20She's an absolutely gorgeous figure.
10:22I didn't notice.
10:23Her legs are a little heavy.
10:24I didn't think so.
10:27I've changed through my uniform now.
10:28I'll help you.
10:29Max.
10:30Oh, well, I meant 99 was that I just wanted to take Ingrid upstairs
10:33and show her a place where she could change into her uniform.
10:37Oh, I'll show her.
10:38Yeah.
10:38Come on.
10:40It's right up there, the second door to the right.
10:41Thank you, Mrs. Martin.
10:47Now, tell me about your trip, Max.
10:48What trip?
10:50Yeah, that trip.
10:51Yes, I'm fine, thank you.
10:52I mean, it was fine.
10:53It was a fine trip.
10:53Great trip.
10:54Why don't you try on your new blazer for me while I get us some coffee?
10:56Right, 99.
11:04I'm afraid that this jacket doesn't fit too good, 99.
11:08I may have to have it altered.
11:10Try it on anyway, Max.
11:11Let's see how it looks.
11:16Oh, that's a lovely blazer, Max.
11:19It needs to be shortened, but it looks good on you.
11:21You really like it?
11:22You look very handsome.
11:24I forgot to unstitch the change pocket.
11:26Oh, here, use this knife to cut it open.
11:33Let me see the back.
11:35Oh, that fits well.
11:38How about some coffee?
11:39That's funny.
11:40I forgot to bring the coffee pot.
11:42I can't find the coffee pot anywhere.
11:53That's funny.
12:04I can't find the coffee pot anywhere.
12:06You think that's funny?
12:07I can't find the phone.
12:08Max, what happened to the table lamp?
12:11What happened to my suitcase?
12:13Max, there's something very strange going on here.
12:1699?
12:17I think we better keep a very close eye on that maid.
12:20Gas Incorporated, this is Ingrid here.
12:30I have the job, and we'll find a miniature laser weapon as soon as possible.
12:34I switch the apartment from top to bottom.
12:36And, if necessary, Maxwell Smart.
12:57Ingrid, what are you doing?
13:01Good morning, Mrs. Smart.
13:02I am getting familiar with the apartment.
13:04Uh, trying to find out where everything is.
13:07Oh.
13:07Well, I wish I knew where everything was.
13:09You haven't seen the coffee pot by any chance.
13:12No, no, but I'll be happy to turn the place inside out to find it.
13:20Buongiorno, Mrs. Smart.
13:21Good morning, Mr. Antonelli.
13:23How are you today?
13:24Eh, not too good.
13:26Business is just awful.
13:27Awful.
13:28Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
13:30Here.
13:30These have to be cleaned and pressed.
13:32And, Mr. Smart's blazer gets shortened right up to where the pin is.
13:36Next week will be fine.
13:37I bring them back at the end of this week.
13:39Next week, I'll be closed on account of the fire.
13:41Did you have a fire?
13:43I'm gonna have a fire.
13:48Uh, Ingrid, I'm going out shopping.
13:49I'll be back in a few hours.
13:51Very good, Mrs. Smart.
13:52Good morning, Ingrid.
14:01What are you doing?
14:02Oh, I was, uh, looking for the coffee pot that disappeared yesterday.
14:06Oh, yes.
14:06Well, don't bother.
14:07It's probably cold by now.
14:09Now, listen, Ingrid, I have an awful lot of work to do here,
14:11so if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you'd just let you...
14:14Oh, what beautiful material.
14:19Hmm.
14:21Uh, would you like to feel the lining?
14:24Yeah.
14:27Uh, listen, Ingrid, uh, why don't you...
14:29Gee, this is awfully heavy.
14:31It feels like it's got a weight in...
14:32Uh, Mrs. Smart, you know you are extremely attractive.
14:36Oh, well, I wouldn't say that.
14:37Oh, you're very handsome.
14:39That, I would say, yes.
14:41My eyes so big, so brown, so beautiful.
14:45Yes, well, sometimes...
14:47They're bigger than at other times.
14:50Are you all right, Mrs. Smart?
14:51Oh, yes, I'm fine.
14:52Never felt better in my life.
14:53But, you know, you might have pulled something and not know it.
14:55Oh, I don't think so.
14:56I feel pretty good.
14:57Um, how about a massage?
14:58Make you feel better.
15:00A m-m-massage?
15:01Yeah, yeah.
15:03A nice old-fashioned Swedish massage.
15:05Why don't you like a massage?
15:06Yes, well, I just got married, Ingrid.
15:08I can't have a massage.
15:09Maybe in six months I can...
15:11There's somebody at the door.
15:13Yes, I'm busy.
15:15Yes, well, I'm not.
15:16Oh, no, no, they'll go away, you see.
15:19Bags!
15:20Oh, hi, Chief.
15:21This is Ingrid, our massage.
15:22She's giving me a maid.
15:24She's a maid.
15:25How do you do, sir?
15:27Chief, I think I'd better explain to you what actually happened over there.
15:29You see, I lost a cufflink in the couch, and Ingrid was helping me look for it.
15:34Would you believe a tie clasp?
15:36I never saw anybody look for a tie clasp like that, Max.
15:39Yes, well, that's the Swedish way, Chief.
15:41And believe me, it's going to take the country by storm.
15:44I'll pick something for you.
15:47Toast and coffee?
15:47Uh-huh.
15:51You wanted to see me about something, Chief?
15:54Chief!
15:55Oh, Max, you and 99 deal in top security information.
15:59It may not be safe having a maid.
16:00Look, Chief, I've been an experienced control agent for a long time, and I know when somebody
16:05is all right.
16:06Now, I've had my eye on that girl every hour of every day, every day of every week, and
16:10I'm telling you that she's okay.
16:12I know her inside out.
16:13When did you hire her?
16:13Yesterday.
16:15Max!
16:16Look, Chief, what are you worried about?
16:18She was hired by the Control Employment Agency.
16:20Max, help is hard to get, and the Control Employment Agency has lowered its clearance standards.
16:25I don't even have a maid anymore.
16:26What happened to that girl that was working for you?
16:28Remember Christmas Eve at my apartment when she decorated the tree?
16:31Oh, yeah, that was a great tree, Chief.
16:33With all those colored lights, I loved it.
16:35The red and blue lights going on and off.
16:37I loved that tree.
16:38Those lights were blinking top-secret information to a Russian fishing trawler anchored off the
16:42coast.
16:43You're kidding.
16:44That's fantastic.
16:46How did you find out about it?
16:47I became suspicious when a bulb burned out.
16:49Well, why did that make you suspicious?
16:51A Russian sailor showed up to replace it.
16:53Chief, are you trying to tell me that chaos put this girl through the Control Employment
17:00Agency?
17:01Exactly.
17:03Well, then she may be a double maid.
17:06Right.
17:09Excuse me, gentlemen.
17:10Here's your toast and coffee.
17:14Chief, I think you're wrong about her.
17:16Did you take a good look?
17:17Yes.
17:18Now I ask you, are those the legs of a chaos agent?
17:21If I want anything, please call.
17:26I just want you to keep your eyes on her.
17:28Don't worry, Chief.
17:29I haven't taken them off her yet.
17:31Let's have some coffee, thanks.
17:33Well, you did a great job in Hong Kong, Max.
17:35Congratulations.
17:37Thanks, Chief.
17:38Let's see it.
17:39See what?
17:40The blazer you brought back from Hong Kong.
17:42The blazer I brought back from Hong Kong?
17:44That blazer is the secret weapon you were sent to Hong Kong for.
17:47That blazer is the secret weapon I was sent to Hong Kong for?
17:50That's no ordinary blazer.
17:51That's no ordinary blazer?
17:53It's a laser blazer.
17:54It's a laser blazer?
17:55Do you know what you're saying?
17:56I'm positive I keep hearing it twice.
18:00How do you like that?
18:01A laser blazer.
18:03The button of that blazer is actually a miniature laser.
18:06It's activated by placing your hand in the change pocket.
18:09If you press down hard enough, you can destroy an entire city.
18:13So that's what happened.
18:16Well, let's have the blazer and we'll take it to headquarters.
18:19Ingrid!
18:21Yes, sir?
18:22Would you get me my blazer, the one I brought back from Hong Kong?
18:25The cleaners picked it up just a little while ago.
18:27Come on, Max.
18:28That blazer is the secret weapon you were sent to Hong Kong for.
18:44That blazer is the secret weapon I was sent to Hong Kong for?
18:47That's no ordinary blazer.
18:49That's no ordinary blazer?
18:51It's a laser blazer.
18:52The button of that blazer is actually a miniature laser.
18:56Chaos.
18:57I've discovered where the laser is.
18:59Go at once to Antonelli Cleaners.
19:01But, Mr. Smart, I don't know what happened.
19:04I was going through all the pockets like I always do.
19:07But when I put my hand in your blazer change pocket, look.
19:10And what's worse, it burned a hole right through my pressing machine.
19:19For Mario.
19:20Who's Mario?
19:21Mario was his presser.
19:22Mario was my presser.
19:25This may come as a surprise to you, Mr. Antonelli, but that jacket was no ordinary jacket.
19:30Now he tells me.
19:31Look, what's so special about this jacket of yours?
19:34Everybody wants it so much.
19:35What do you mean, everybody?
19:36There were two other fellas in here asking for it.
19:39Chaos.
19:39They must have found out about it.
19:41You didn't give it to him, did you, Mr. Antonelli?
19:43Why would I give your jacket to two strangers I never see before?
19:47Especially when they're not even customers.
19:49Anyway, I just sent it down the street to Morgan's Cleaners to have it pressed for you.
19:53Come on, Rance.
19:56Mr. Antonelli, you've done a great service for your country.
19:59The President of the United States will probably give you a medal for this.
20:03I'd rather have it the cash.
20:04But when I was going through the pockets of your jacket, Mr. Smart, I thought I felt a draft.
20:12So I turned around.
20:23Well, where is the jacket now?
20:25Like I just told the other gentleman that were here, I sent it to Perfect Cleaners around the corner.
20:29There it is, Chief.
20:44But I think we're too late.
20:50Max, the cleaning truck just pulled up behind us.
20:52See what you can find out.
20:53And hurry.
20:53Hurry it up, Max.
21:02Max.
21:04Max, will you come on?
21:06What'd you find out?
21:07Plenty, Chief.
21:08Wait till you hear this.
21:09Not only do you get shirts and a hanger for 60 cents, but they got a one-day special on table courts and racks and rugs.
21:15Max, what about the blazer?
21:16Well, they already sent that to my apartment, Chief.
21:18Why don't you go to your apartment, and I'll call headquarters and meet you at your apartment.
21:21Now, Max, no matter what happens, don't stop or anything.
21:23Red lights, anything.
21:24Go ahead.
21:38Chaos, this is Ingrid.
21:40A blazer was just delivered, but it's the wrong one.
21:42I'm going down to the cleaners to get the right one.
21:44Is that you, Max?
21:53Max?
21:5899?
21:59Oh, hi, Max.
22:00Oh, good.
22:01Did the cleaners deliver my blazer?
22:03Yes, it's right there on the sofa.
22:05Good.
22:06Listen, I've got to get this down to headquarters right away.
22:08By the way, 99, did you have a fight with Ingrid?
22:11No, why?
22:12Well, I just passed her in the hall, and she took a swing at me.
22:14That's strange.
22:16I'm going to take a shower, Max.
22:17I'll have your dinner ready when you get back.
22:19Bye.
22:20Okay, I'll see you later.
22:24I'll take that jacket, Mr. Smart.
22:26Oh, you don't want this jacket?
22:27It clashes with your slacks.
22:28End it over.
22:29Do you know what's in this jacket?
22:30A miniature laser beam.
22:32It destroys anything it hits.
22:34Do you know what activates it?
22:35Yeah, by putting your hand in the change pocket.
22:37All right, don't anybody move.
22:38You wouldn't dare.
22:39Wouldn't I?
22:39You fellas aren't in a hurry, are you?
22:48I'm going to get the jacket.
22:59Hold it.
23:00Oh, sorry, Mr. Smart.
23:01I didn't know you had company.
23:02I delivered the wrong jacket before.
23:04This one's yours.
23:05I'll take that.
23:06Oh, wait a minute.
23:06Why don't you give the kid a tip?
23:07There's a quarter in the change pocket.
23:09All right, dummy.
23:13Let's see how tough you are without a gun in your hand.
23:21Listen, I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about dummy.
23:26Don't anybody move.
23:27I can't find the quarter.
23:29Maybe it's caught in the lining.
23:30No!
23:31There doesn't seem to be a hole in the lining.
23:33Let's just...
23:34Max, I'm sorry about your apartment.
23:42Gee, Chief.
23:43I never knew we had such a wonderful view on that side of the apartment.
23:46Don't worry, Max.
23:47Control will replace everything that's been destroyed.
23:49What about the Second National Bank?
23:51What about the Second National Bank?
23:52Well, it used to be across the street.
23:54Well, it used to be across the street.
24:22pitch to the street.
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