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00:00Sabrina 90's show, Oh What a Tangled Spell She Weaves.
00:05It starts showing someone saying you should get a chain and whack a cabinet,
00:09and Hilda happily does so along with Zelda, surprisingly.
00:14Finally, Sabrina lampshades it and is told that it's their new hobby,
00:19and eventually Zelda gives a good explanation that they're letting their anchor out on it.
00:25Zelda warps the guy from the TV to her to ask him to repeat step 4-4 because this is
00:31the late 90's
00:32and she somehow didn't think to just magically rewind the show instead.
00:37He at least wonders how he got here and explains that he thinks he worked with too much varnish and
00:42started hallucinating.
00:44And that's why Zelda did something so reckless. She knew she could get away with it.
00:50Sabrina eventually tells Salem to leave her room, taking too long to do so,
00:54and ends up failing to use magic and has to remember that she's only allowed to use magic with incantations
01:00this week
01:00because of the Quizmaster.
01:03She's charged for cat hair removal?
01:08But that would only be the case if a witch made the case.
01:13Like the Quizmaster.
01:15And why? What a sadistic curse.
01:19It's not like she gets charged for anything else like she could be.
01:24She uses magic and eventually Zelda windset her for the cabinet looking different because she messed up her incantation,
01:31which is not how Sabrina's meant to be at all.
01:35Because of the sheer amount that she messed up her magic.
01:40She didn't imagine it looking this way, so it wouldn't have happened.
01:44Salem says he found the Fountain of Youth, which was a memorable and charming part of the show.
01:51But come to think of it, that wouldn't have happened either because she never knew Salem when he was that
01:57young,
01:57so she wouldn't have thought of that.
02:00Salem wouldn't be turned into a kitten because he doesn't need this.
02:05He couldn't age, and he wasn't elderly.
02:10Zelda's against undo spells that I'm sure she would have done before in this show,
02:15because it's not in the spirit of magic.
02:19Undo spells are magic.
02:21What a stupid line for a smart character.
02:26Her aunt's lecture that she needs to be more specific with her incantations.
02:30This makes it really obvious that the whole plot's going to be forced by her somehow failing to learn from
02:35her lecture.
02:37It wouldn't be so frustrating if you didn't have her get given the info she needs to avoid the plot,
02:42and she still didn't absorb it.
02:45Later on, Hilda claims she made the world round.
02:49Only if witches made it, would it not be round.
02:53The way that it naturally formed would only make it round.
02:58This is so interesting, but unnecessary.
03:01I hate that it wasn't shown.
03:04History is all so different here.
03:07Even ancient Greeks theorized the world was round.
03:11After a bunch of padding, Harvey whines,
03:14and Sabrina ends up saying an incantation to help him,
03:17and gets asked why she's talking in rhyme,
03:20and she never does explain it.
03:23Eventually, she tells Valerie that they could go with a plan of hers
03:26to save up money.
03:28And there ends up being a dark joke,
03:30because Valerie says they eventually found the kids that she lost
03:33when she was a camp counselor.
03:35Eventually, because Harvey's sneezing,
03:38Sabrina uses magic to make it hotter in school,
03:40because she's uneducated enough to think that will get rid of his cold,
03:44when she could have easily used magic to fix his cold instead.
03:49Eventually, she and Valerie need to work for an unlikable boss.
03:54There's a gag where she tells Salem to quit fooling around,
03:58because he said something we couldn't hear over the phone.
04:01I guess he ordered something not on the menu.
04:04It would have been funnier if we knew what he said.
04:07They end up making some pizza together.
04:10Valerie messes up a little,
04:12and I start to wonder if it's realistic that there's only two people here,
04:15and they're both new hires.
04:18I guess the restaurant just opened up, and that's why.
04:22Yes, that is why.
04:25She's supposed to be incompetent,
04:27because she actually is brand new to the whole restaurant thing.
04:31So that's why she got their names wrong.
04:34Didn't care.
04:35After some padding, there's a fire Sabrina has to put out,
04:38and Valerie gets so discouraged,
04:41she doesn't want to move,
04:42because she's holding a burnt pizza.
04:45Sabrina has an incantation right beside Valerie,
04:49barely reducing her voice,
04:50and somehow she doesn't question her on it,
04:53and just starts talking like she was made more efficient.
04:55So I guess part of her spell was that she wouldn't notice this,
05:00even though the other times she said an incantation,
05:04only the stuff that she said happened.
05:09Sabrina uses magic to clean her room,
05:11and the quiz master tells her she failed the test,
05:14because she said to put things back where they belong,
05:17and so somehow that was a sloppy spell,
05:19even though he never told her to literally clean the floor of her room.
05:24So literally all she needed to do is use magic to put things back where they belong.
05:29Somehow she needed the quiz master to taunt her in her locker,
05:33to tell her that she had to make it less hot in the school.
05:36Why didn't the school just turn the air conditioner up?
05:39I guess they've got really low budget.
05:43Sabrina got her undoing privileges taken away,
05:46which makes me wonder why she'll still be able to undo it by doing an incantation later on,
05:51because that's effectively casting an undo spell anyways.
05:55This makes it impossible to not overdo counteracting the heat spell.
05:59So when she goes too far,
06:02that shouldn't be treated like it was her fault.
06:07It was her fault for doing the heat spell,
06:10but not for doing the cold spell,
06:13which would also be an undo of the heat spell anyway,
06:17so that shouldn't have worked either.
06:20Sabrina wouldn't say,
06:21serious cooling.
06:25Now she is being specific,
06:27and it's bad.
06:28The teacher compliments Valerie on giving her advice to help the school.
06:33After some padding where Harvey hurts his hand on how hot the locker was,
06:37he gets made better at football,
06:39and Sabrina's incantation causes rain inside because a hot front meant a cold front.
06:45Never mind the lack of clouds in the school,
06:47which means there's no way this would have happened.
06:50Logically,
06:51this only happens because the Quizmaster causes it out of sadism.
06:56The writer really hates Sabrina.
06:59Eventually,
07:00Hilda tells Sabrina off for making her rug disappear somehow,
07:04even though she never imagined the rug disappearing,
07:07so her incantation wouldn't make that happen.
07:10Why would it affect this rug then,
07:13and not the entire universe?
07:15Sabrina would never be able to undo spells again if it was impossible to undo a can't undo spell.
07:22Every witch would be stuck with that curse eventually,
07:26so that would be overpowered.
07:29It's a stupid rule.
07:32Sabrina uses an incantation,
07:33and somehow she brings her family into a castle by accident,
07:37even though she didn't imagine that either,
07:39since she didn't know the rug went here.
07:42I guess I can let that slide,
07:44since magic clearly works by AI figuring out stuff the witch didn't already know.
07:49But I think Sabrina was under the impression the rug was somewhere in a shop.
07:54Once they've been warped through a rug shop.
07:57They get to their rug,
07:58and it's sweet when they start reminiscing about the fact
08:01that Zelda got this rug from her ex-boyfriend,
08:03Merlin,
08:04who's a sexist,
08:04according to Hilda.
08:07Somehow the ants can't warp back home,
08:09and are forced to blame Merlin for it.
08:11He eventually does small talk with her,
08:14before trapping them all in a cage,
08:15and so they'll love him again.
08:17I guess he thinks that it'll work because he's so arrogant,
08:20and he really wants to get a real love from them,
08:22so that's why he won't use a love spell.
08:25It turns out Valerie's been promoted,
08:28so only Sabrina's supposed to serve the customers,
08:31so their boss was such an idiot,
08:32she thought she could run a good restaurant
08:34with only one person working in the kitchen
08:36when it was already too much work for two.
08:40Valerie tells Sabrina how she can be a better employee.
08:43She gets called annoying for it.
08:45Valerie just sounded emotionless the whole time.
08:48All she did was give her some good advice.
08:51Sabrina's in the wrong here.
08:53Somehow Sabrina fell asleep at work,
08:55even though there's no hint she didn't sleep at all last night.
08:59So it doesn't feel as believable.
09:02Because she slept for 30 minutes,
09:05immediately falling asleep somehow,
09:08Valerie fires her.
09:09Sabrina deserves that, though.
09:12She could have said an incantation to avoid falling asleep.
09:16She might have still been emotionally attached to her
09:18and just never shows it.
09:19She just got made to value efficiency more than anything else.
09:25Eventually, after some padding,
09:27Zelda insults Merlin,
09:28gets told off for forgetting the plan to pretend she loves him.
09:32Zelda's supposed to be smart.
09:34She would have known better.
09:37Why even show us their plan, then?
09:40She tells Merlin that Sabrina's gonna save them.
09:43Somehow she thought that was a good idea
09:45and not something that caused Merlin to warp their only hope to the cage.
09:50But somehow that doesn't happen,
09:52and instead he zaps up giant dolls
09:54to fool Sabrina into thinking they're still at home
09:56because they're in the dark
09:57and she won't bother to check.
10:00Salem ends up saying it's because she's self-centered,
10:02even though she was in a justified hurry
10:05both times she walked past them.
10:07If she was the type to hug them
10:09every time she went to the same room as them,
10:11she'd still be self-centered if she enjoyed it,
10:13and that's why she did it.
10:16Eventually she finds out that it's snowing in her school,
10:19and Valerie says friendship's an inefficient waste of time,
10:22and Harvey's miserable,
10:23and she begs the quizmaster for help,
10:26and he makes her admit she's been wrong for his sloppy spellmaking.
10:30Those two must be deaf,
10:33because she's screaming in front of them,
10:36and they don't turn around
10:38and see the quizmaster warp to her.
10:41He makes fun of her before undoing the spells.
10:45So undo spells are okay for him.
10:48What was the point of him undoing her ability to do an undo spell then?
10:54Undo spells didn't get in the way of her doing incantations.
10:58She tried to do an incantation to do the undo spell.
11:01And there's a bunch more padding where he keeps making her talk,
11:05and I'm just jealous of how nice-looking his hat is
11:07while I'm waiting for the plot to start moving again.
11:11Sabrina gets told Valerie burned pizzas and got fired.
11:15We should have seen that instead of the story having padding,
11:19because we were annoyed with her.
11:22Sabrina stupidly says Harvey bulked down over the weekend in front of him,
11:26and he's nice enough to not complain.
11:29Eventually, Valerie complains that she needs an umbrella
11:32because it's going to rain,
11:33and Sabrina says it's not going to be indoors
11:35because they fixed the roof
11:36and tells him not to talk about that again.
11:38And I have to assume that last sentence is why she got made fun of,
11:41because I thought they remembered the bad weather indoors.
11:45And as for why people didn't figure out there were witches from it snowing indoors,
11:51I'm forced to assume that Sabrina found the people that were in charge of fixing the problem
11:57and failing to do it,
11:59and just used magic to brainwash them into not questioning why this was even possible.
12:04Made them think that there was a hole in the roof they couldn't find.
12:08She asks her if she skipped her breakfast again.
12:11That wouldn't explain her acting paranoid.
12:14This writer really hated Sabrina.
12:16When Sabrina was originally made the butt of a joke all the time,
12:20it was because she did something evil,
12:22so she was getting punished for it justifiably.
12:25The story ends with a quizmaster being in her locker again
12:28because his apartment's being painted and he needs a place to stay.
12:32Witches can summon anything,
12:34so why don't he summon a copy of his apartment in outer space where nobody owns the property?
12:39You'd think witches would have a spell that would make the fresh paint stop smelling immediately,
12:44so either way, you wouldn't need to stay here.
12:47I'm not going to wonder why the painter doesn't instantly paint the apartment's walls with magic,
12:51because witches can only use so much in a short period of time before they need to take weeks to
12:55recharge,
12:56so witches who paint for a living would rather save magic for their day-to-day lives
13:00and take a bunch of painting jobs in a small amount of time to use up their magic every time
13:04and run out of it for weeks.
13:07This episode by Joan Binder and David Weiss was all about making Sabrina and her family
13:12and everyone in her school suffer the consequences of her not being specific with her incantations
13:17after Quizmaster forces her to only use those to make her better at them,
13:22even though she should be an expert at them by now because it's not Season 1 anymore.
13:27It's just frustrating to watch because she went from hardly if ever being vague with her spells
13:32to being bad at them every time out of nowhere.
13:36Well, even the original Sabrina didn't think through the consequences of her magic,
13:40so that's in character.
13:42If we define sloppy incantations as they're not thinking about the consequences of every spell
13:46and then including another line in the incantation that prevents those consequences,
13:50then I bet a ton of incantations were sloppy even before this show.
13:54I remember issue 1 of the 70s comic where she didn't know Harvey being made such a great musician
13:59would cause Hilda to realize she was responsible.
14:01But not being good at long-term thinking is something every teenager has a problem with,
14:06so this is just the Quizmaster bullying a teenager for something she could only fix
14:10by magically making herself have the brain of an adult.
14:14She's not going to be able to think of the consequences super consistently no matter what he tells her.
14:19She could have predicted that her friend would fire her
14:22because it was completely forced that she fell asleep at work for half an hour
14:26despite getting enough sleep at night in the first place.
14:29Plus, Merlin would have whipped Sabrina to him so she couldn't save her family,
14:33not done something that obviously would have been discovered before he'd win over the person he kidnapped,
14:38and so of course she'd hate him.
14:40But it's believable because he was just that arrogant.
14:44The moral of the story wasn't even something that somebody could learn.
14:48It's a witch-specific lesson
14:50that she shouldn't even need to learn.
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