- 2 days ago
David's New Job Part 02
As David works on Barbara and Julie, and as they pressure Ann to consider marrying David, Ann is faced with a serious decision..... she is not ready to marry again. David goes on without her.
As David works on Barbara and Julie, and as they pressure Ann to consider marrying David, Ann is faced with a serious decision..... she is not ready to marry again. David goes on without her.
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00:01This is it. This is it. This is life. The one you get. So go and have a ball. This
00:10is it. This is it. Straight ahead and rest assured. You can't be sure at all.
00:16So while you're here, enjoy the view. Keep on doing what you do. Hold on tight. We'll muddle through one
00:25day at a time. So up on your feet. Somewhere there's music playing. Don't you worry not. Just take it
00:36like it's off one day at a time.
00:38One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.
00:47One day at a time. And now for the conclusion of David's new job.
01:08Oh Julie. Julie. Beanpole. Yes lard bottom. Would you mind getting the tape. It's over there. Yes and I'm up
01:21here. Could you move your bones. Instead of getting married mom and David should have decided to live together just
01:28like everybody else. Bite your tongue. Marriage is one of our most sacred institutions.
01:35It's what's made this country great. Why if George Washington hadn't married Martha she never would have made the flag.
01:43Betsy Ross made the flag. Are you trying to tell me that the father of our country was fooling around
01:50with Betsy Ross? Bite your tongue again with wooden teeth. How come you never got married again Schneider? Because I
02:00have too much love for one woman to handle.
02:06Any gal that marries me might OD on a moor. Well if you have to go what better way right?
02:14Julie have you seen my house slip? No mom. I'm help you are.
02:21What is going on? Mom's been trying on dresses all morning for the wedding and she can't make up her
02:26mind.
02:27Ah ain't that cute. A nervous bride trying to look her best for her groom. Damn damn damn.
02:37Of course some brides are more nervous than others.
02:40You know she's been so uptight the past few days. Yeah I know. It's kind of hard to believe tomorrow's
02:47a wedding. Tomorrow night you're all gonna be off to California.
02:51Yeah.
02:53Well I thought you'd be excited about that.
02:56Yeah well we want to go.
02:58It's just well it sounded like a better idea a week ago.
03:01Well I guess it's not easy to say goodbye.
03:04Well now look uh...
03:08Sometimes these things happen in life.
03:11As you go along in life.
03:13I mean that's life.
03:18You're gonna be making new friends out there.
03:21Yeah I'm gonna be making friends here.
03:24Why I mean maybe a nice couple comes in here.
03:26Maybe with a couple of boys I can take them fishing.
03:31Boys are a lot easier to hang out with than girls.
03:36Yeah well we're gonna miss you too Schneider.
03:38Yeah well we'll both get old.
03:40Besides which I may be going to the coast myself.
03:42You're kidding.
03:43Really?
03:44No it's like the guy said.
03:45Go west young man.
03:48What guy said?
03:50Horace Hype.
03:53How do you like it?
03:55Oh my.
03:57That's...
03:57That's great.
03:58I hate it.
04:01Purple's wrong.
04:02I can't wear white.
04:03I'm used merchandise.
04:05Mom, come on.
04:07Stop putting yourself down.
04:08You're gonna be a beautiful bride.
04:09Some beautiful bride.
04:11I'm 35.
04:12I've got miles on me.
04:14Now I know what a clinker in a used car lot feels like.
04:19Ma, you're very young.
04:21For an old person.
04:23You know what mom?
04:25You know what I heard?
04:26I heard that a woman of 35 is nearing the height of her sexuality.
04:36See, I don't know why I even bothered with this one.
04:39Maybe I should try the yellow one with a strand of pearls.
04:41That'll look pretty too.
04:42No, it won't, but I'll try it.
04:45You know, mom is as jumpy as a cat.
04:48It's not like her to panic about a dress.
04:51You never can tell how a woman is gonna react to marriage.
04:55I mean, my ex-wife, why, she was completely calm.
04:58And then, while I was carrying the bags to the motel room,
05:01she took the keys to the car and she split.
05:06We never even got a chance to break the paper ribbon on the party.
05:15Well, it's a good thing mom has us around to calm her down for the wedding.
05:18I don't know how she made it through the first one without us.
05:23Nothing, right?
05:24Mom!
05:25Mom!
05:26I didn't have a chance to look at it.
05:27I'm telling you, she is very nervous.
05:30Now, you're gonna have to be patient with her.
05:33Anything else I can do?
05:34No, everything seems to be pretty together.
05:37Are you sure?
05:38Yeah.
05:39How about, how about rice?
05:41Got enough rice?
05:42Yeah, I think so.
05:44You know, it's funny.
05:47Americans throw rice at weddings.
05:49Chinese probably throw potato salad.
05:56Well, well, well, if it is not the bionic groom.
06:00You look like you can't wait for the nuptials to be consummated.
06:03I'm counting the minutes.
06:04One, one thousand, two, one thousand.
06:06Now, listen, you rascal.
06:07You don't come on too strong.
06:08You got a very nervous bride in there.
06:10Don't worry.
06:10Don't worry.
06:11Schneider, make sure you're not late for the ceremony tomorrow.
06:14Are you kidding?
06:15I got the tuxedo rented and everything.
06:17Bow tie, cummerbund spats, all in subdued maroon.
06:23I can't wait.
06:25Oh, Mr. Kane.
06:27Come here.
06:28Come here.
06:31Now, if you'd like me to arrange for the stag party, it's still not too late.
06:36No, Schneider, that's sweet of you.
06:38No, he can do it right down at the lodge.
06:40I told all the guys about it.
06:41They're all for it.
06:42And we got a brand new stag film in this week.
06:45Brand new.
06:46I understand.
06:49In this film, the couple actually talk before they...
06:57Really?
06:59What do they say?
07:03Ready?
07:04Yep.
07:13I'll get that.
07:17Hello.
07:18Hello.
07:18Hey, David.
07:18Hello.
07:19My little future income tax write-off.
07:23Okay.
07:24Let's give it to him.
07:24Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
07:27Here comes the bride.
07:28Here comes the groom.
07:30If you need advice on the honeymoon, we'll be in the very next room.
07:40The Pointer sisters have nothing to fear from you two.
07:44Where is the bride presumptive?
07:46What?
07:47Your mother.
07:48Oh, she's in the bedroom trying on dresses for the wedding.
07:51Now that it's getting close, the poor kid's a wreck.
07:53Mom, the loved one is here.
07:55Who?
07:58Oh, yeah, I'll be right there.
08:00David, please, no matter what she comes out wearing, tell her it's perfect for the wedding.
08:05Oh, gotcha.
08:07Hi.
08:09Anne, it's perfect for the wedding.
08:12Oh, this is real funny here, huh?
08:14You're all out here having a ball, and I still can't decide what to wear for a little occasion known
08:18as my wedding.
08:19Oh, Anne, it doesn't matter what you wear.
08:21I'm marrying what's underneath the clothes.
08:28That, uh, didn't come out quite the way I'd intended, but now that I've said it, what the hell?
08:32David, I'm a little edgy.
08:35Look, I-I know this is, uh, like the very last minute, but there's one more person...
08:39Why don't you arrange everything with the movers? I mean, with your stuff and ours, we really have a lot
08:43of junk.
08:43Yeah, don't worry. Uh, we'll finish packing tonight, and tomorrow they'll take it all out on the same truck.
08:48Now, there's one more...
08:48Julie, Barbara, uh, did you arrange to have your school records transferred?
08:52Mom, we did that three days ago.
08:54Instead of transferred, I wish I could have mine destroyed.
08:57Ann?
08:58Ann?
08:58Yeah?
08:58Oh, good. I have your attention. Look, there's one more person that we...
09:01What about the champagne, David? Do you think that we have enough champagne?
09:03We have plenty of champagne. Relax. Everything is taken care of. I-I just need to get some rice.
09:09Oh, don't worry. We got enough potato salad.
09:11Uh, look.
09:14Ann, there's-there's one more person that we have to invite. My Aunt Rose.
09:18She's very old and very wealthy. She might want to leave us some money. I wouldn't want to deny her
09:24that pleasure.
09:25Besides, I've already invited her.
09:27You know, I still say, instead of having the wedding in the apartment, you guys should get married in the
09:31forest, like my friend Susan and Eddie did.
09:34Oh, it was a great back-to-nature wedding.
09:36All she wore was a garland of flowers, and he wore a fig leaf. But the honeymoon was a wipeout.
09:40The fig leaf wasn't a fig leaf. He caught poison ivy.
09:43Ha, ha, ha, ha!
09:46Ha, ha, ha!
09:47This is getting, woo-hoo! Funnier and funnier.
09:50The David and Ann Variety Show. An hour of merement and sick jokes. Will you all just knock it off?
09:56Oh, come on, Mom. I was just trying to relax you. You've been so uptight. I just figured...
10:00I am not uptight.
10:01And I do not need my experienced daughters telling me how to run my wedding.
10:06Ann, come on. Go easy.
10:08You're not my husband yet, David. Don't tell me how to talk to my kids.
10:12Mom, we were just trying out of this, Barbara.
10:15I don't want to hear from you either.
10:23I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell.
10:27It's okay, Mom.
10:29Thanks. Um, David, look.
10:32I'm sorry. It's just a nervous bride syndrome.
10:37Sue me. I've lost my cool.
10:41Ann, I don't think you're just nervous.
10:43Oh, yeah, sure, David. That's all it is.
10:44You know me, uh, nervous Nellie.
10:48But one thing I'm sure about is this marriage.
10:52I'm excited about it. I'm glad you forced me into it.
10:59Forced you?
10:59Well, you know, I wasn't sure, and you made me sure.
11:04I love you for that.
11:06I love you for your strength.
11:09You're a rock.
11:13Well, this time tomorrow, you'll have a piece of the rock.
11:21Uh, you get the feeling they want to be alone?
11:24I get the feeling.
11:25Uh, we're gonna wrap some presents, okay, guys?
11:27Uh, listen, if you need any help...
11:29Uh, I don't think he'll be needing any help.
11:36Huh.
11:37That was very nice.
11:39Well, we had a quarrel. We had to make up.
11:42Huh. Take a note.
11:43After we're married, let's quarrel a lot.
11:46You got it, kid.
11:48Quarrel, make up.
11:50Quarrel, make up.
11:52You know, I got a great job waiting for me in California, but at this rate, I don't know how
11:56I'm ever gonna have time to do it.
12:01Ann, it's gonna be beautiful out there.
12:03Yeah, I-I know it will.
12:06Julie and Barbara are already in love with California.
12:08They can't stop talking about it.
12:10Well, it's a great place to raise kids.
12:12You know, our house is right near a terrific preschool nursery.
12:16So?
12:18For our kids.
12:20Julie and Barbara?
12:21No, the new ones.
12:23That you and I are gonna have.
12:25You know, I-I thought we'd start with a boy.
12:30You know, if we start with a boy because we already have two girls.
12:49David, uh, we never talked about having children.
12:55I didn't think we had to.
12:59Um, honey, you're-you're already getting two kids on the house.
13:05I assumed that would be enough.
13:09Oh, Ann, I-I, uh, I love Julie and Barbara, but they're your kids, and what's his names?
13:17Ed's.
13:19Look, a man wants his own children, and I assumed that you assumed what I assumed.
13:24Exactly. How many did you assume?
13:29Well, to pick a number, three?
13:34Two would be fine, you know. Two is-
13:37That would be perfect, uh, I mean, two boys, uh, to go with the two girls, a perfect match set.
13:44Of course, one, one would be-
13:46I mean, one would make me completely content.
13:50David.
13:51I have been all through that.
13:55Besides, I'm 35.
13:57So what?
13:58A lot of women have-have babies in their 40s and 50s.
14:01I read once about a woman who had a baby when she was 74 years old.
14:07One day, she just woke up from her nap, and there it was.
14:14I have had my kids.
14:15Well, I haven't.
14:17Ann, look, it's a completely natural urge.
14:20I mean, we live in an age of copying machines.
14:23What's wrong with me wanting a little Xerox of myself?
14:27David, I understand how you feel, really.
14:29But I-I've been all through that baby bit.
14:31The-the months of blimp-dom, the waking up in the middle of the night, the four-hour feedings.
14:37I would help.
14:37I breastfed Julie and Barbara.
14:41I defer.
14:43Look, Ann, as far as raising the kids, though, I could take a tremendous load off your shoulders.
14:48It goes deeper than that, David.
14:51I mean, Julie and Barbara are practically on their own now.
14:55I had Julie when I was 18 years old. I've been raising kids half of my life.
14:59I mean, now I have a chance to begin to raise myself.
15:03You don't have to answer now.
15:04Just take your time, think about it, and then we'll have a baby.
15:11You're gonna have a baby, Mom?
15:14Soon.
15:15Great! I always wanted a sister!
15:17Hey.
15:23Look, you guys, I really have enough problems here without help from the peanut gallery.
15:28Mom, it would be fantastic to have a baby!
15:30Then have one!
15:32Cancel that.
15:37Ann, you see, the whole family is for it.
15:39Well, I am not, and I do not like being pushed.
15:41I'm not pushing. We're just discussing it.
15:43What do you think this is, David?
15:44Hey, as far as I'm concerned, if anything...
15:46Guys, would you excuse us for a little bit?
15:48I think your mother and I are about to have a little argument.
15:51We are having a little argument.
15:52You know what? We're gonna go say goodbye to my chemistry teacher.
15:55That should make his day.
15:58Barbie, come on, Barbie.
16:02Ann, I never thought such a little baby was gonna cause such a big hassle.
16:06It is a big hassle. A big, huge, insurmountable hassle.
16:09Let's not say insurmountable.
16:11Insurmountable!
16:12Ann, just think about it. I don't feel I'm being that unreasonable.
16:15Of course you don't.
16:17Look, Ann, I started out wanting three children. I'm willing to settle for one.
16:21Well, you'll just have to settle for a goldfish, and that's it.
16:24A goldfish playing Little League?
16:28I see where you're at, sweetie.
16:30You wanna have all the fun while I stay home and do all the work.
16:33That's not true. I just...
16:34Just a minute!
16:37Yes?
16:39Excuse me, do I have the wrong apartment?
16:41I'm Reverend Howland.
16:44Reverend Howland? Oh, I'm sorry.
16:46I forgot to tell you I asked the Reverend to come over this morning.
16:50How are you?
16:51Fine, thank you.
16:53Right, uh, this is, uh, Ann Romano, the bride.
16:57Hello.
16:58Hello. I hope I didn't come at a bad time.
17:01Oh, no, no. We were just discussing our wonderful future together.
17:07How nice.
17:09Sit.
17:12What?
17:13Uh, uh, please be seated.
17:15Oh, thank you.
17:19As I told Mr. Cain on the phone, I wanted to meet you both.
17:24I'd like to inject a little personal touch into the ceremony.
17:29Yes, uh, that's why we felt you'd be the right man for us.
17:32Uh, Ms. Romano, uh, I understand you're Catholic.
17:37Ann divorced with two grown children.
17:40Oh, that's quite all right.
17:42You see, at our church of all denominations, we have a very liberal attitude.
17:47And, David, you're Jewish.
17:51Uh, well, actually, I've strayed a bit.
17:54Oh, oh, an atheist.
17:56In that case, I won't mention God in the ceremony.
17:59No, I'm not an atheist. I'm, uh, I'm more of an agnostic, really.
18:03Oh, well, there's no problem there.
18:05I'll merely say, if there is a God, may he bless the union of these two people.
18:12Now, you're a very enlightened couple.
18:15I imagine you want to eliminate the word obey from the ceremony.
18:19Uh, absolutely, absolutely.
18:20Just make it love, honor, and be fruitful and multiply.
18:31Well, I've never heard that before, but it has a nice sound to it.
18:36Old Testament.
18:38How about, do not sow seeds in a field that has already been reaped?
18:49Well, I've never heard that before.
18:52Old or New Testament?
18:54Farmer's Almanac.
18:57Well, you both seem to be at odds on the subject of children.
19:01We are.
19:03Uh, Reverend, uh, let me ask you something, okay?
19:06I mean, if a woman already has two grown children, is it so wrong for her not to want any
19:11more?
19:11Well, in my Mother's Day sermon, I said that...
19:14But, Reverend, Reverend, if a man has never had any children, is it so unreasonable for him to want some?
19:21In my Father's Day sermon, I said...
19:22I don't want to go through that whole life again.
19:26Well, that's understandable.
19:27Ann, you make it sound like some terrible ordeal.
19:30Having a child is the most natural thing in the world, and I want one.
19:33In Genesis, they said...
19:41I want one of my own.
19:43David, you are being incredibly selfish.
19:45May I say that...
19:46Why? Because I want something that you've already had?
19:49What?
19:49I have a cornerstone to bless.
19:51The pleasure...
19:52The pleasure of seeing my own children grow up.
19:56The joys of parenthood.
19:58Well, it's been nice chatting with you.
20:00You know, David, you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
20:02May God bless her, whoever.
20:11That's just it, Ann. I don't know what I'm talking about, and I want to know what I'm talking about.
20:16That's why I want this experience.
20:18And I think you're the one who's being damn selfish and not allowing me to have it.
20:28Look, if it upsets you that much, we won't...
20:30My God, David, don't.
20:31Don't what?
20:32Not again.
20:33Don't...
20:34Don't give in.
20:35Don't compromise for me.
20:36Look, if you don't want to have any children...
20:38There's not children, David.
20:39It's me. It's me.
20:40It's what I gotta do with my life.
20:42It's...
20:50David, it's not gonna work.
20:53Okay.
20:54It's ridiculous.
20:55Is it?
20:57I've been using you.
20:59It's really ridiculous.
21:01Take a good look at me, David.
21:03I am selfish.
21:05Oh, come on. I didn't mean that. I was angry. I'm sorry.
21:07David, you were right. Really, I have been selfish.
21:09I divorced Ed, and I wanted to be on my own, but I haven't had the guts to do that.
21:15I didn't divorce Ed. I replaced him with you.
21:18Come on, Ann. Give me a little credit, will you?
21:20I knew what was going on. I accepted it for what it was.
21:24But it's different now.
21:25It's not different, David.
21:27I've been cheating you.
21:28I can't share my life with you or with anyone until I find out what that life is.
21:32Well, I understand.
21:33You don't understand, David.
21:34I gotta make the break.
21:35I have got to.
21:36I hate what I'm doing to you and to me.
21:38Ann, I haven't been an unwilling participant.
21:40I have been using you, David.
21:42I've been using you as a crutch, a sounding board, a lover, a friend, a surrogate father to the girls.
21:47I didn't do anything I didn't want to.
21:48But it's wrong, David.
21:50It's wrong for you and for me.
21:51I can't need that anymore.
21:56Yeah.
21:57I know.
22:00In a way, I've been using you, too.
22:02I mean, I know what you want from your life.
22:06I've always known, but I let you lean on me.
22:12I enjoyed it.
22:15I guess, uh, I guess that was pretty selfish of me.
22:22It's over.
22:26And the awful part about that is, I think we've both known that for a very long time.
22:39I, I, I better, uh, I'll call the airline and cancel your reservations.
22:47And the, and the kid.
22:49Oh, uh, kid, uh, I'll catch them before I, uh, maybe I can get an earlier flight.
22:56I'll, hey, don't, don't worry.
22:59I, I can get my deposit back on the house.
23:01I just, uh, call, I'll call the coast.
23:06And, uh, line, line up an apartment.
23:10Or the wedding gifts.
23:12I, I have to return.
23:13I'll return them.
23:16Reverend Howland.
23:17Reverend Howland, I'll, I'll.
23:20David, I love you.
23:21I'll call him and, uh, and my Aunt Rose.
23:28I don't, I don't want her to be angry with me.
23:34That's, uh, that's purely a matter of greed.
23:46I love you, David.
23:56I'm scared.
24:05I'm scared.
24:13Oh, uh, one last show.
24:15But I don't know enough about it, my Aunt Rose.
24:38We have another, we take effect.
24:39One Day at a Time was recorded live on tape for a studio audience.
25:09One Day at a Time was recorded live on tape.
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