- 2 days ago
Barbara's Emergence
Hoping to attract desirable males, Barbara decides to change her image.
Hoping to attract desirable males, Barbara decides to change her image.
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TVTranscript
00:01This is it. This is it. This is life. The one you get. So go and have a ball. This
00:10is it. This is it. Straight ahead and rest assured. You can't be sure at all.
00:16So while you're here, enjoy the view. Keep on doing what you do. Hold on tight. We'll muddle through one
00:25day at a time. So up on your feet. Somewhere there's music playing. Don't you worry not. Just take it
00:36like it's on one day at a time.
00:38One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.
00:46One day at a time. One day at a time.
01:00Hi Barbie. Hi.
01:17Book! Wrong book!
01:46What? What's the matter with you, twerk?
01:51Don't call me twerk.
01:56I'm sitting here.
01:58What is your problem?
02:00Nothing.
02:03Boy, I'm starved.
02:05I should have this salad, but I'm dying for a hot fudge sundae.
02:08I'll compromise and have them both.
02:11I should have the hot fudge sundae.
02:14That's not balanced.
02:16I'll have the hot fudge sundae and some fries, right?
02:22Uh-huh. Puberty strikes again.
02:25I hear you.
02:27Barbara, don't hyperventilate. Forget him.
02:29Hank Basso is way out of your league.
02:32You've been moping around for him for a full week,
02:33and he hasn't even spoken to you.
02:35He has, too.
02:36What'd he say?
02:37Get the hell out of the boys' room.
02:40You followed him into the boys' room?
02:42I didn't see where he was going.
02:44Love sure is blind.
02:46I'm so embarrassed.
02:51You really want to meet this guy, huh?
02:54No.
02:55No.
02:56No.
02:56Just don't.
02:57No.
02:59I did not.
03:00You just found it.
03:01I found it.
03:01Come on.
03:06Well, go for it, kid.
03:09It's just yours.
03:09I found it.
03:10Oh, hey, yeah.
03:11Thanks.
03:12I ought to be sure.
03:13What's your name, Hank?
03:14I mean...
03:18What's your address?
03:19I'm not so sure I should give that out.
03:21Yeah.
03:22Here.
03:23Maybe you'd better give me your name, in case there's a reward.
03:27I'm Carby Booper.
03:29I mean, I'm Barbie Cooper.
03:32Didn't I run into you someplace before?
03:34No, that wasn't me.
03:35Oh, wait.
03:36In the boys' room.
03:37You're the peeper.
03:38I wasn't peeping.
03:39I was, um...
03:40I was...
03:41I was following you.
03:42I'm standing in front of the mirror, right?
03:43I'm combing my hair.
03:44You come walking in.
03:46I wasn't...
03:46You want a toothpick?
03:51Barbara, get out of the shower and help me make dinner.
03:55You lazy lump.
03:56I'm not your maid.
03:58Julie, guess what?
03:59You'll never believe it.
03:59Oh, Mom, I'm sorry.
04:00I thought it was Barbara in the shower.
04:02What happened?
04:02Okay, remember when I was standing in your tent?
04:03Yeah.
04:04Hi, girl.
04:04Hi, Mom.
04:05Hi, Mom.
04:05Hi, Mom.
04:07Mom!
04:08Um...
04:08Who's in the shower?
04:10Come on, come on.
04:11Go get cheap.
04:12You don't have a shower.
04:14Here, by John, the toe will make you scream and shout.
04:17Look out!
04:18Look out!
04:19Look out!
04:19Look out!
04:21What are you doing here?
04:22What are you doing here?
04:23What am I doing here?
04:24What are you doing here?
04:25Did you not ask me to install a new aqua jet massage shower head?
04:29Yeah.
04:30Well, I did.
04:31But it come with the wrong size regulator for this building.
04:33So a jet one should massage.
04:36I got all wet.
04:38But don't worry about the ceilings and the wall.
04:41I dried them all off.
04:43And don't worry about your towels that I used to dry them all off.
04:46I hung them out the window to dry.
04:50And don't worry about the cop.
04:52What cop?
04:54The one that the towels fell on.
04:56Right.
04:58Well, I yelled, look out, he looked up and the towels hit him in the face.
05:02What are you doing?
05:03I'm cleaning the wrench.
05:04With my towel.
05:05Oh, I'm sorry.
05:06That's gross.
05:06But what are you doing here anyway?
05:09According to your date book, you're all supposed to be over to your aunt's having dinner.
05:13Yeah, you're right, but you're canceled out.
05:14Mom!
05:15I met this super guy today.
05:16Wait a minute, Barbara.
05:19Schneider!
05:20How did you know what was in my date book?
05:23How did I know?
05:24Yeah.
05:25How did I miss?
05:28It was there.
05:29It was right there under your mail.
05:31I couldn't miss it.
05:33Look, can I cut this short?
05:35My tools are rusting.
05:37A super thing in my life has happened and nobody cares?
05:41Oh, I care, Barbara.
05:42What is it?
05:43Let me guess.
05:48Hank Basso is coming over tonight.
05:51How did you know?
05:52He called while I was answering the phone.
05:55Barbara?
05:55Hank Basso?
05:56How did you mad expose Hank?
05:58Mom, he is the biggest hunk in school.
06:01He hates Trish the Dish.
06:03I don't know why he wants to settle for Mary Poppins.
06:05You, your sister happens to be a married nice girl.
06:09Yeah, wait till he finds that out.
06:11Julie!
06:12Mom!
06:13Schneider!
06:13Ah!
06:15All right.
06:16All right.
06:18Now, a guy like that is coming over here.
06:23And you're going out to a sale, huh?
06:26How'd you know I was going to a sale?
06:27It was circled in a newspaper by the john.
06:32Bye-bye, Schneider.
06:36Bye-bye.
06:38All right.
06:39Bye-bye.
06:40Bye-bye!
06:41Bye-bye.
06:42But I would not leave this child alone with the most gorgeous hunk in school.
06:49And I know whereof I speak perchance because I used to be the most gorgeous hunk in school.
07:03Bye-bye.
07:06Uh, Mom, Schneider is right.
07:08Barbara shouldn't stay here alone with Hank.
07:10Why not?
07:11Aren't you going to be here?
07:12No, I'm going over to Cheryl's.
07:14You were?
07:15Oh, Mom.
07:16Look, I don't want them here alone.
07:18Why not?
07:19All we're going to do is goof around.
07:22Mom, don't you trust me?
07:24Oh, my darling, it's not a matter of trust.
07:26It's a matter of propriety.
07:28I want to protect your reputation.
07:29She doesn't have a reputation.
07:31Hmm.
07:32That's the one I want to protect.
07:35Look, Barbara, somebody has got to be here.
07:38Why?
07:38When Julie has guys over, you go in the bedroom while she necks up a storm on the sofa.
07:43Thank you, Barbara.
07:46You know, that is the last time I am going to steal a wallet for you.
07:50What?
07:52Julie.
07:52What are you talking about, stealing a wallet?
07:54Oh, Mom, I don't know.
07:55Ask Barbara.
07:56Barbara, what is she talking about stealing a wallet?
07:56I don't feel like talking about it anymore.
07:58Stole a wallet?
07:59Julie.
08:00Barbara.
08:05Out of those cookies.
08:06They're for Hank.
08:07Pardon me.
08:08Do you think I want to play Scrabble?
08:11I want to serve them.
08:13Milkshakes?
08:15Cookies?
08:16Cookies?
08:16Scrabble?
08:17Milkshakes?
08:18He's Hank Basso, not Pat Boone.
08:24Okay, okay.
08:25As long as I'm stuck here, I may as well give you the benefit of my mature experience.
08:30First of all, you look like a 12-year-old.
08:32Get rid of that t-shirt and put on my halter.
08:34Why?
08:34I've got nothing to halt.
08:38Okay, uh, just don't give him a milkshake.
08:41Serve him a beer.
08:42Then how would it look if he had a beer and I had a milkshake?
08:45That's right.
08:46If he tried to kiss you, you'd both barf.
08:49Julie, I've had dates before.
08:51Not one that shaves.
08:53Billy Benton has long sideburns.
08:55Did you ever lift him up?
08:56It's all overhang.
08:59Now look, Barbara, Hank Basso is big time.
09:03Why don't you get him here?
09:03You've got to keep him interested or nothing is going to happen.
09:06I don't want anything to happen.
09:08I mean, I want something to happen,
09:10but I don't want that to happen.
09:12Well, that doesn't have to happen.
09:14You just want him to think that it might.
09:16I know what's going to happen.
09:18Our eyes will meet and he'll hold out his arms
09:22and I'll just sort of melt into them.
09:25Then our lips will touch.
09:27An electric shock will go through me.
09:29It'll be a long, beautiful kiss.
09:31At least three full minutes.
09:35Then I'll say, I love you, Hank.
09:38And he'll say, I love you too, Barb.
09:42I haven't heard anything that sickening
09:44since Burt Park sang Miss America.
09:52Oh, Barbara, look.
09:55Face it, it's not going to happen that way.
09:57It will too.
09:59He's here. What do I do?
10:01Well, for openers, you can let him in the door.
10:04Oh, yeah.
10:05Don't run. Don't be so eager.
10:07Then again, if you're kind of panting when you answer the door.
10:09Julie!
10:11What do I do?
10:14Remember, uh, I'll be in the bedroom.
10:17Scream if he doesn't make a pass.
10:25Hi.
10:26Hi, Hank.
10:27Come on in.
10:31Can I hang up your helmet?
10:32No, that's okay.
10:34Yeah.
10:34What are the stars for?
10:36Oh, it's kind of a calendar.
10:39April, May, June, Trish.
10:45Hey, it's a joke.
10:48Joke?
10:48Yeah, it's funny.
10:51I've, uh, seen you with your motorcycle.
10:54I mean, I've seen you riding it.
10:55Yeah, it's a 450 with upswept pipes,
10:58extended front forks, reed valves,
11:01and a five-speed gearbox.
11:03Yeah.
11:04Here comes Chaperone.
11:06I forgot my book.
11:07Uh, this is Julie, my sister.
11:09Hi.
11:09Hey.
11:10Hey, didn't we have a class together?
11:12Hey, yeah.
11:13Me and you, we was in dumbbell English.
11:15Right.
11:16Uh, can I get you something to drink?
11:18A beer shake?
11:22How, how about a beer?
11:24Yeah, hold the shake.
11:25Shoot, one beer coming up.
11:28Well, how's the bike?
11:29Great.
11:30You right?
11:30Well, you know, I've been in a couple of runs.
11:32I go out with Chuck Butterfield.
11:34He had a chopped hog, but he traded it for a van here.
11:36Hey, hey.
11:37Hey, you're Julie.
11:39Julie Cooper, sure.
11:40The one who ran away with Chuck.
11:43You know about that.
11:44Who doesn't?
11:45Super Cooper.
11:50You were the highlight of senior problems, class.
11:54Well, uh, don't believe half of what you've heard.
11:57Half is enough.
11:59Here's suds in your eye.
12:00Listen, if you need any more ice, we got plenty in the freezer.
12:02Ice?
12:05Beer on the rocks.
12:08Well, it was warm.
12:10And, uh, I'm not really into beer except when I shampoo.
12:14Uh, I'll take a ginger ale.
12:16Yeah, I'll get it.
12:17Uh, don't do anything I wouldn't.
12:19Why don't you guys sit down?
12:21Why not?
12:40Uh, do you know Dave Bardo?
12:43No.
12:46It was so funny.
12:47He was riding his bike, right?
12:49He drove it right through the market to the other side
12:51and ran right into a police car.
12:53That's wild.
12:55Hey, hey, is he the guy with the Harley?
12:57No, Schwinn.
13:01Oh.
13:04Barbara?
13:05Barbara?
13:06Uh, excuse me.
13:11You're blowing it, kid.
13:12He's looking for chicks, not turkeys.
13:14I know.
13:14I don't know what to say to him.
13:16Talk sexy.
13:17He's used to Trish the Dish.
13:19Tell him about all the dirty movies you've seen.
13:22Like what?
13:22The uncut version of Bambi?
13:31Here you go.
13:32Thanks.
13:34Uh, excuse me.
13:35Sure.
13:38You wanna play Scrabble?
13:42Scrabble?
13:45Uh...
13:46Oh, hey, I just remembered.
13:48This is Tuesday.
13:50I'm supposed to take my dad to a PTA meeting.
13:54You're going?
13:54Yeah, I'm sorry, but I have to.
13:57It means so much to Dad.
13:59Sure.
14:00Uh, I'll call you.
14:02Bye.
14:03See you, Julie.
14:05Hank!
14:08Hey!
14:09You forgot your scoreboard, big shot.
14:12Hey.
14:13The kid's not my type.
14:15But you are.
14:18What are you doing Saturday night?
14:19Nothing with you, creep.
14:22I'll call you.
14:23Oh, please.
14:25Thank you, sister.
14:26Now I know why you wanted to stay home.
14:28To steal my date!
14:30Barbara, no!
14:32Barbara, let me in.
14:33Come on!
14:37He doesn't mean anything to me.
14:39Didn't you hear me?
14:39I called him a creep.
14:40With sexual overtones.
14:44Hi!
14:45Barbara, I was just trying to help.
14:47Yourself to my date.
14:48What happened?
14:48Why don't you just ask Super Cooper here?
14:51The star of Senior Problems.
14:53It's not my fault you bombed out.
14:55What happened?
14:56Mom, please.
14:57Barbara, the guy is a jerk.
14:58Forget him!
14:59He is not!
15:00You are!
15:02I am.
15:04What happened?
15:05That boredom out of his gourd.
15:09Oh, I can't believe that.
15:11Believe it.
15:15It doesn't matter with me anyway.
15:18Nothing.
15:20Honey, you're a very nice girl.
15:22I don't want to be a nice girl.
15:24I want to be like Julie.
15:28Barbara.
15:29Well, she's right.
15:30I mean, sex is the only thing that counts.
15:40You tell her that?
15:41No!
15:43What?
15:44Not exactly.
15:47Barbara.
15:48Honey, look.
15:49If that's all Hank wants, he's not worth it.
15:51I don't want you to worry about him.
15:53You've gone out with a lot of nice boys.
15:55Ma, I want to come home smelling of brute, not clearasil.
16:00I mean, let's face it.
16:02The only girls who get the guys are the ones that turn them on.
16:05Trish the Dish, Dorothy Davis.
16:08Guys go by her house honking their horn every night.
16:10I don't even get whistles.
16:12Dorothy Davis.
16:13Known to the boys as the community chest.
16:20Hey, Barbara, you don't want to be like that.
16:23I know.
16:25Okay.
16:26Come on now.
16:27Forget about Hank.
16:29I got some terrific things at the sale.
16:31What time for you, Ma?
16:32Well, I got this blouse.
16:33I really don't know if it's gonna fit,
16:34but if it doesn't fit you, it'll fit me.
16:36Okay.
16:43I'm gonna be sexier.
16:45Maura!
16:46Come on!
16:54Did you hear what we had to read in English Lit?
16:56What?
16:56Under the Grandstand by Seymour Butts.
17:01You guys are naughty.
17:02You shouldn't tell me jokes like that.
17:04Got any more?
17:06Yeah.
17:07A lot more.
17:09Ooh.
17:10It's so rough.
17:11You must shave at least twice a week.
17:14Yeah.
17:14At least twice.
17:16Aw.
17:17Poor boy.
17:18I'm getting an electric razor for Christmas.
17:22I'll wait.
17:24Okay.
17:32You wanna smoke?
17:33Um, I can't.
17:35I gotta resist it.
17:36I can't.
17:37It's 12.30.
17:38I can't have another one for 16 minutes.
17:40I'm tapering off.
17:42Smoking limits your lung capacity.
17:44Wow.
17:52Uh, listen.
17:53I gotta go check out the football team.
17:55I'll see you guys later.
17:56Okay.
17:58Bye-bye.
18:00See ya.
18:01Bye.
18:01Anytime.
18:03Lil.
18:04Uh, Fujifel.
18:12I can't have lunch, shopping.
18:14Uh huh.
18:17Uh, what do you want them to do?
18:18Make this place off limits?
18:20Who mean?
18:20Little Mary Poppins?
18:22I gotta talk to you.
18:25Now, uh...
18:26Beth Randall says you're on the pill.
18:27She saw some in your purse.
18:29Really?
18:30Are you on them?
18:31No, no, those were just aspirins I spilled in the library.
18:34Why did she think they were the pill?
18:36I told her they were.
18:39Little dummy, don't you realize what you're doing?
18:41It's all over school.
18:42Ha! Fantastic, I knew it would work.
18:45I wonder what happened to my little sister.
18:47All she wanted was a three-minute kiss and a couple of I love yous.
18:50I still do, but you gotta hook the fish.
18:53First.
19:00Hi, Mom.
19:00Barbara Jean Cooper.
19:02Bye, Mom.
19:02Hold it.
19:03Sex pot, close the door.
19:07Julie told you.
19:08Yes, thank God.
19:09And what is all this about the pill?
19:10I'm not on it.
19:12I just want the guys to think I am.
19:14If they think you are, you'd better be.
19:19Well, it's getting me a lot of dates.
19:21Oh, come on, Barbara.
19:23You know that's not the way to get dates.
19:25No, but it's a shortcut.
19:26Barbara.
19:28You have got a terrific personality.
19:30You're usually very bright.
19:32And you're much too pretty for your own good.
19:34You mean look, but don't touch.
19:36Don't get flicked with me.
19:38Stop.
19:42Hey, guys, what you doing?
19:44That's what you want, huh, Barbara?
19:46The guys honking their horns and you just go running?
19:48You didn't even know who that was.
19:49It was Arnie.
19:50He has a finger painted on top of his roof for the police helicopter.
20:01Prince Charming.
20:03I didn't even know he was coming by.
20:04Then you just learned something, kiddo.
20:06You're over-advertising.
20:09Mom, I know what I'm doing.
20:11It's just a game.
20:12So is Russian roulette.
20:14You play it yourself.
20:15Now, how about when you ran that stop sign?
20:17Ooh, officer, I didn't even see that little sign.
20:22No way was it like that.
20:24Oh, sure.
20:25But you did run the sign and you didn't get the ticket.
20:27And he did call the next day.
20:29To return my license, he forgot to give it back.
20:32I wonder why.
20:32One more word out of you, young lady, and you'll be grounded for a month.
20:36And neither one of us is going to have to worry.
20:38I'm sorry.
20:40It's just scary.
20:43What is?
20:44Not being popular with the guys.
20:47Barbara.
20:49Listen, nothing's going to happen until the right guy comes along.
20:53Oh, honey, the way you've been carrying on, the right guy may come along and not recognize you.
20:58I won't get it.
21:06How many times do I have to tell you, Mr. Romano, do not park in front of the trash on
21:10Tuesday night?
21:11Oh, right, Schneider.
21:12You park in front of the trash, we got problems.
21:14We got rats, we got cockroaches, we got the border health, we got winos with bundles.
21:18Right.
21:20Have you heard all those horns honking outside?
21:24Yep.
21:25And those guys driving by whistling?
21:27I have.
21:28It's embarrassing.
21:30I gotta stop working out with the shades up.
21:46Hey, guys.
21:48Yeah.
21:51Be right back.
21:58Hi.
21:58Hank, hi.
22:01Just dropped by to find out who the real Barbie Cooper is.
22:05Well, who'd you think?
22:07You sure had me fooled the other night.
22:09Yeah, well, I don't like a guy to be too sure of himself.
22:13I've been hearing a lot about you around school.
22:15Me?
22:16Tell me more.
22:31I love you, Hank.
22:34Huh?
22:37Oh, yeah, sure.
22:39Uh, let's, uh, let's go to your room.
22:42What?
22:43Come on, let's not waste some time.
22:45Hank, don't.
22:46What do you mean?
22:47Stop playing games.
22:48I'm not, Hank, you got me wrong.
22:49Oh, no, I haven't.
22:50Everybody knows you're on the pill.
22:51I'm not.
22:51I was just pretending.
22:52That's not what I hear around school.
22:54You heard wrong.
22:55Hank, stop it.
22:56Don't.
22:56Hey, what about your reputation?
22:57Don't you want to live up to it?
22:58I don't have a reputation.
22:59Hank, stop it.
22:59Come on, Barbie.
23:00What did you invite me over here for?
23:01I didn't invite you over here.
23:02What do you mean you didn't invite me over here?
23:03Stop it.
23:04Come on.
23:05Hank.
23:10Now, just get the hell out of here.
23:11Okay, why kick me?
23:13She started it.
23:14Kick her butt.
23:17You satisfied, Barbara?
23:18You asked for it and you got it.
23:20You like all this terrific popularity?
23:27Okay.
23:29All right, baby.
23:30Cry it out.
23:31Let it go.
23:36Had to learn the hard way, huh?
23:40Well, you're lucky.
23:43Could have been worse, huh?
23:44Yeah.
23:45Come on.
23:45Let's go fix dinner and we'll talk about it.
23:48Okay.
23:54Hello?
23:56Ooh.
23:57Hi, handsome.
24:01This weekend, just you and me all alone.
24:06I wouldn't miss it.
24:07Just a second.
24:09Mom?
24:10It's Daddy.
24:14You're back.
24:16You are really bad.
24:18You are really bad.
24:55Thank you very much.
24:58Thank you very much.
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