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00:00Sabrina 90's show, Witch Trash.
00:03Sabrina gives Zelda cocoa and massages Tilda's foot,
00:07but Zelda's smart enough to ask her why,
00:10because she's not actually in character in this show,
00:13so it's not actually like her to be nice without wanting her award,
00:16and this misses the entire point of the character
00:19from the most popular part of the series before this.
00:22But it still counts as a good thing,
00:24because they still appreciate it a little.
00:26She wants a car, and they both say no,
00:30and she starts trying to convince them anyway,
00:32without giving them a chance to explain why they don't trust her,
00:36even though she should know how strict they are,
00:38and thus unreasonable.
00:40Eventually, Zelda gives her good advice
00:42on taking responsibility for her running out of time to do something,
00:46and one of them uses magic to summon someone
00:48who at least looks like he's from centuries ago,
00:50who's ready to take her on a tour to a freedom trail for schoolwork.
00:54He would only be ready if he was either a warlock,
00:57or brainwashed, summoned mortal.
01:01And she asks if a car would have been easier,
01:04which is a stupid question, because of course it wouldn't have.
01:07It'd be just as easy for one of her aunts to summon
01:10because they've got magic and point anytime they want to summon anything,
01:13but if Sabrina had a car,
01:14she'd have to drive all the way to a place,
01:17which would take forever.
01:18And since Sabrina can zap up a car,
01:21I'm forced to just assume that the reason she asks them for a car
01:24is that she thinks he'll find out she zapped up a car.
01:28Somehow.
01:30They don't tell her she can't drive yet,
01:33which means she either knows how,
01:34or knows she can just use a spell to make herself able to drive.
01:39Since she already used a spell in earlier episodes to become an expert of something,
01:43it has to be that they aren't letting her have a car
01:46because they know someone could crash into her.
01:49Her friends visit her in the morning to get her to visit the aquarium.
01:53They can't leave because the door's stuck,
01:56which might be because of magic.
01:59Somehow, neither of the aunts just point to open the door,
02:02and Zelda just tries to open the other door without magic,
02:06and none of them try to use magic despite how obvious it is that it's a magical thing.
02:12Zelda asks Hilda if she mailed that mortgage payment,
02:15and she says she thinks she didn't,
02:18and it turns out they're trapped in here because of that.
02:21Sabrina's friends would hear this.
02:26Why does the writer keep sadistically making a gag out of her aunts
02:31refusing to let Sabrina have a car
02:33instead of just making it look like they're protective of her?
02:36And again, this is just another adaptational downgrade
02:40because the source material of Hilda was, if anything, too lenient.
02:45She nagged her about not being evil,
02:47but she didn't enforce any punishment.
02:50The story keeps wasting time,
02:52and the aunts warp to a place where a guy wastes time telling them where they are,
02:56even though they'd have to already know or they wouldn't come here.
02:58He also asks if their house is filling with sand when they'd say so if it was.
03:05How does it make sense that she has two mortgage payments?
03:11Because she had to have paid one mortgage
03:14because it's a house in the mortal realm.
03:17I guess she had enough money to outright buy the house,
03:20so then why does she have to pay a mortgage payment to the other realm?
03:27I wish that was explained.
03:29You'd think the government would be very confused about a house suddenly magicing up.
03:34So it was a mortal house.
03:37I guess she's paying for the rights to keep having an other realm closet
03:40and other realm internet.
03:43Sabrina wants to zap up something cooked,
03:46but her friends come into the room and she doesn't just tell them to leave
03:50because it'd be seen as weird and she's too stupid to come up with a good excuse.
03:53So she just looks stupid.
03:56She should have said she can't let them know her family's secret recipe,
04:00or her aunts will yell at her.
04:03There's a fire Harvey puts out while the guy keeps taking up the aunts' time.
04:08At least there isn't way too much time spent on this.
04:13He says to them that their mortgage was fully paid.
04:16The aunts get rained on by objects
04:19and eventually figures out it's a curse by their hillbilly cousins,
04:23who have to be assholes to be doing this to them.
04:26Harvey wonders if the aunts got lost upstairs,
04:28which means he's smart enough to wonder why they're taking so long.
04:32Well, then he should have said,
04:34I wonder if they snuck out of the house through the window.
04:39Sabrina tries to get her friends to leave by telling them to play pool
04:42and zaps up a pool table off screen.
04:46Friends tell Sabrina their relatives put a lock down on the house.
04:50They hate them because the magic book was left to this house.
04:54What took their relatives so long to curse them over this?
04:58They would have been told the magic book was given to someone other than them
05:02as soon as their great granny died.
05:05Sabrina's friends would hear this.
05:07They should be whispering.
05:10They're just in the other room.
05:12It should be explained to the pool table room with soundproof.
05:16One of their relatives says they're never leaving this house
05:20and complains that they were conjured to the mortal realm
05:22when they were sitting in their recliners.
05:24It turns out Sabrina wanted them invited over
05:27so they could talk things over.
05:29Wait a minute.
05:30Since she brainwashed people into being nerds no problem in an earlier episode,
05:34why doesn't she just brainwash them into not cursing them anymore?
05:39Why doesn't Hilda do that?
05:40These people are idiots.
05:42Well, I guess the writer could have explained it as
05:45they have an anti-brainwashing spell cast on them already.
05:49They could have anti-brainwashing jewelry on.
05:53Hilda and Zelda curse each other sometimes,
05:56so it's not like all witches are immune to that.
05:59Anyways, it sure is convenient for the plot that
06:03apparently they're too goody-two-shoes to brainwash family.
06:09What does one of these witches not have indoor plumbing in their house?
06:13They can zap it up.
06:15Salem gets threatened that he'd make some nice jerky.
06:19I guess that's supposed to be satisfying
06:21because he wants to be a selfish dictator over the world.
06:25Even though we're supposed to be on his side with his snarkier mark here.
06:30The things the cousins say aren't interesting enough for me to talk about.
06:34It doesn't help that I'm mostly just distracted by their hillbilly accents.
06:38So I had to go back to listen to it a second time to understand them.
06:42The story just wastes my time with this for a while,
06:45with no plot progression.
06:47It's smart of Harvey to wonder how the cousins got into the house
06:50when nobody can get in,
06:52and all they can do to explain it away is tell them they're from Hong Kong.
06:56So far, the story's only a little bit boring,
06:59but the premise is really boring.
07:01I think the concept of the main characters having to deal with hillbilly cousins is a cliche.
07:05It happened in the Archie Andrews comic and a comic of the Jetsons,
07:09and usually all it has to offer is failed attempts at funny dialogue
07:13instead of things actually happening.
07:16It proves my point when Zelda's lab gets opened,
07:18but nothing happens,
07:19which is a relief at the moment,
07:20but the episode could have started looking interesting
07:23if the potions got used.
07:25It would have been more interesting to watch these people use all of her potions
07:29to show us what they did
07:30than to watch what happened as soon as they came here,
07:33where it's just talking.
07:36Eventually, Zelda tells the relatives mortals will be here for lunch,
07:39and Hilda tells them not to do magic
07:43instead of casting a spell
07:45that would make them unable to do magic
07:47for the duration that they're there.
07:50Well, I guess that's impossible,
07:52and she doesn't trust them to put their magic into a jar.
07:57Why does she think she has to tell them
07:59not to use magic in front of mortals?
08:02Every witch knows not to reveal their witches to mortals
08:05because they'll lose their powers.
08:08And Zelda zaps up something for Sabrina
08:11to help her deal with the relatives.
08:13I have to assume the reason one of the relatives said
08:16magic book and the other said zap in
08:19despite them being in front of the mortals
08:21was that they want to annoy the family on purpose
08:23for having the magic book.
08:26And they're naturally very confident
08:29that hearing that isn't going to tell the mortals
08:31that witches exist
08:33because mortals already have the confirmation bias
08:36of believing that witches don't exist.
08:39So they'll just come up with some other explanation
08:41like they're just using a metaphor
08:44when they say magic book
08:45or she's using a funny idiom
08:48when she says zap in.
08:50And they're just crazy.
08:53One of them called Meemaw
08:55acts really disgusted upon learning
08:56that there's mortals around
08:58and refuses to sit next to them.
09:00So she's just saying this
09:01to make Zelda's family nervous.
09:04And she's naturally confident
09:06that these people aren't going to figure out
09:08she's a witch from saying this
09:09because instead all they think
09:11is that she's crazy I guess.
09:14And Zelda uses magic
09:16to make Sabrina's friends
09:17get really interested in something boring
09:19as if they're stoned
09:20so they'll run away.
09:23And later we'd see them stare into a mirror
09:25acting really interested in it.
09:27It's the best joke in the episode
09:29because they act like they're high.
09:32As cool as it was
09:33that Zelda got to use some magic
09:35so that was competent of her
09:37it was pretty incompetent of her
09:39to trust the family.
09:41Of course this wasn't going to go well.
09:44Isn't she supposed to be smart?
09:46Every time Sabrina tries to relate to
09:48and sympathize with her relatives
09:50they get annoyed with her.
09:52Why did you think it was a good idea
09:54to tell them she's got the magic book
09:55without at least telling them
09:57right away why she needs it?
09:59And it's easy to understand
10:00why they don't think
10:01that's a good enough explanation
10:03when she says why she needs it.
10:05They're selfish.
10:07It's cathartic to see Zelda
10:08tell them to stop being babies
10:10and unseal the house.
10:12They leave as she does nothing.
10:15I just have to assume
10:16the spell's locked
10:18so that they can't undo
10:19the spell themselves.
10:22Because otherwise
10:23the whole plot wouldn't have happened.
10:26Zelda goes from
10:27refusing to lower herself
10:29to being as bad as their cousins
10:31to wanting revenge
10:32because her lab got destroyed.
10:34And this explains why
10:36she and Hilda didn't just
10:37zap the hillbilly cousins
10:39over and over again
10:40until they agreed
10:41to unseal the house.
10:43Which Hilda would have done
10:45if she was faithful
10:46to the source material
10:47and that would have been
10:47more visually interesting.
10:49So I get to see
10:50the two households
10:51using magic on each other
10:52over and over again
10:53which is fun
10:54and interesting.
10:56I understand that
10:57because it's a live action show
10:59they don't have the budget
11:00to have this be
11:01most of the episode.
11:03And it makes it really sad
11:05that they had to have it
11:06be a live action show
11:08for it to be as popular
11:09as it was
11:09since the Sabrina cartoon
11:12in the 70s
11:13wasn't nearly as popular
11:15while this sitcom
11:16became a household name
11:17because it was live action.
11:19And I guess
11:20that was worth it then.
11:22It's just
11:23they should have had
11:23a different subplot
11:25to pad out the time
11:26until we got to this point
11:28than the hillbillies
11:29being in the house
11:30and just talking.
11:32I also liked seeing
11:34Sabrina's friend stare
11:35at a lava lamp
11:36so the writer really
11:37did know what he was
11:38doing with this joke.
11:40I also get to assume
11:42the reason they won't
11:42question why they're
11:43acting like this later
11:44is that they assume
11:45they got pot
11:46given to them
11:48through the food
11:49that they were being fed.
11:51Either that
11:51or they'll get a memory
11:52spell cast in them later.
11:55Wait,
11:55speaking of memory spells,
11:57Zelda could just
11:58zap them
11:59out of the house
12:00to be
12:01at the entrance
12:02of the house
12:03and then zap them
12:05so that they don't
12:06remember being
12:07teleported out of the house.
12:09Well,
12:10I don't know how much
12:11magic every spell
12:12costs,
12:12so maybe it would have
12:14cost more magic
12:15to make them
12:15get teleported out
12:17and then forget
12:19that it happened.
12:21I mean,
12:21that probably was the case
12:23because it's
12:23two spells against one,
12:25but we should have
12:26been told that.
12:27Because
12:28Zelda's supposed
12:29to be smart.
12:33They get visited
12:34by their great granny
12:35who's still alive
12:36and just passed down
12:37stuff on her will
12:38because it turns out
12:39because witches
12:39live so long,
12:40they have a tradition
12:41of passing down
12:42their stuff
12:42just to avoid
12:43being overwhelmed
12:44with stuff.
12:45And they can't just
12:46create pocket dimensions
12:48to keep their stuff.
12:49It's kind of hard
12:50to believe that
12:51this would be a
12:52common tradition
12:53among witches.
12:55I think
12:55people tend to
12:57in general
12:57will like
12:58keeping their stuff
12:59and their money.
13:01The hillbillies
13:02get brought here
13:03and the granny
13:04acts as a mediator.
13:05It turns out
13:06the hillbillies
13:07got all her money
13:08and wasted it all.
13:10It was cathartic
13:11to see the granny
13:12say that the next
13:13person who interrupts her
13:14goes straight
13:14to the corner.
13:16Zelda agrees
13:17with her
13:17and then she
13:18tells her off
13:19and hilariously
13:20floats her up
13:20to the corner
13:21even though
13:22she didn't
13:22interrupt her
13:23while she was
13:23talking.
13:25What a bitch.
13:27That made me
13:27so confused
13:28that I couldn't
13:29pay attention
13:30to the granny
13:30talking to hillbillies
13:31into not bothering
13:32them anymore.
13:34Somehow,
13:34even though
13:35they're spiteful
13:35jerks with magic
13:36who outnumber her,
13:38they still
13:39just get talked
13:40into unsealing
13:42the house.
13:43It should explain
13:44that they're all
13:45out of magic
13:45at this point.
13:46I mean,
13:47maybe they are.
13:48At least I can
13:49make this make sense.
13:51When you actually
13:52start to think about
13:52it for even a second,
13:53it makes no sense
13:54that multiple witches
13:55are scared
13:56of this one witch.
13:59I liked the one
14:00that Harvey and Valerie
14:01were leaving.
14:02Harvey was all
14:03amazed at the clouds.
14:05It makes the granny
14:06look like such a bitch
14:07that Zelda's still
14:08in the corner
14:08at the end of the story
14:09even though she was
14:10on her side.
14:12I'm just forced
14:13to assume that
14:14the spell is locked
14:15so that only
14:16her granny
14:16can undo it.
14:17I know the spell
14:18locking thing
14:19was explained
14:19in an earlier episode
14:20as being a thing,
14:21but it should still
14:22be explained
14:22as being the case
14:23every time
14:24so nobody's
14:25thinking the victims
14:26of the spells
14:27were just idiots
14:28for not undoing
14:29the spell
14:31because we can't
14:33visually see
14:34whenever a locked
14:35spell was cast.
14:36It'll never stop
14:37annoying me
14:38because anytime
14:38this happens,
14:39it doesn't take
14:39advantage of the
14:40fun escapism
14:41of having a
14:42witch main character
14:43because they're
14:43just as helpless
14:44as mortals
14:45against magic.
14:47This whole
14:47Zelda's in the corner
14:49thing would be
14:49satisfying if
14:51Sabrina reminded
14:52her that she
14:52won't let her
14:53have a car
14:53because then it
14:55would feel more
14:55like she got
14:56what she deserved
14:57because the
14:59normally strict
15:00aunt,
15:00now she's
15:01getting punished.
15:03This episode
15:04by Nick and
15:04Robin Bakay
15:06was about
15:07Sabrina's hillbilly
15:08cousins terrorizing
15:09her household
15:10because Sabrina
15:11got the magic
15:11book instead
15:12so the whole
15:13time not only
15:14am I constantly
15:15annoyed by their
15:15dialogue,
15:16but I'm wondering
15:17why this took
15:18so long to happen
15:19because she's had
15:20the magic book
15:21for the whole show
15:22so it's a
15:23continuity error.
15:24They would have
15:25been called and
15:25told what they
15:26were getting in the
15:26world a long time
15:27ago.
15:28I guess they're
15:29just too busy
15:29spending their money
15:30and didn't care
15:31about the magic book
15:32until it was gone
15:33but that should
15:33have been explained.
15:35I also wish
15:36Salem asked
15:37as a rhetorical
15:38question why
15:38Hilda didn't
15:39turn those
15:40hillbillies to
15:40stone or
15:41something right
15:42away and get
15:43told they'd be
15:44investigated by
15:44the witch police
15:45if they could
15:46find out they
15:46went here.
15:47But bringing up
15:48that there's
15:49witch police would
15:50bring attention to
15:50the fact that
15:51they should have
15:51called them to
15:52arrest them.
15:53Then it'd be
15:54forced to make
15:55the heroes look
15:56stupid by
15:57explaining that
15:58they'd rather
15:58keep this a
15:59family matter
15:59because they
16:00think that it'd
16:01be especially
16:01evil to sick
16:02the cops on a
16:03member of their
16:04own family.
16:05I say especially
16:06because cursing
16:07them is evil
16:07in the short
16:08term.
16:09The way they're
16:09using magic on
16:10each other
16:11wouldn't be legal
16:12because if it's
16:12legal for everyone
16:14then so many
16:15people would do
16:15it that their
16:16society would
16:16suck.
16:18The reason the
16:18first legal code
16:19on earth got
16:20come up with
16:21was to put an
16:21end to revenge
16:22killings that
16:23overwhelmed
16:24Mesopotamia.
16:25I think most of
16:26the petty annoying
16:27spells would be
16:28legal because nearly
16:29every witch is
16:30going to do one
16:30of those.
16:31But doing petty
16:32curses so many
16:33times in a row
16:34in such a short
16:35time span would
16:36be illegal.
16:37It'd be a form
16:37of harassment.
16:39Same goes for
16:40locking people
16:41in their homes
16:41physically so they
16:42have to warp to
16:43get out.
16:45I'm just saying
16:46that the world's
16:46building should
16:47have been cared
16:48more about by
16:49the writer.
16:50I'm not too
16:51mad because
16:51there's no proof
16:52what I came up
16:52with wasn't true
16:53to the canon.
16:55But it'd feel
16:56more like the
16:57writer cared if
16:57it was confirmed.
16:59At least if we
17:00knew all this was
17:01illegal the whole
17:01plot happening
17:02would feel like
17:03it could make
17:03sense to everyone
17:04because it'd be
17:05taking advantage
17:05of the character
17:06flaws Zelda
17:07established herself
17:08to have in this
17:08episode where she'd
17:10rather take the
17:10high road.
17:12And also she
17:13should have
17:14explained to
17:15Hilda and
17:16Sabrina that
17:17that's why she's
17:18not gonna just
17:19snap the
17:20hillbillies and
17:21why she'll punish
17:22Hilda and
17:22Sabrina if they
17:23do that.
17:24But I can just
17:25assume she explained
17:27that to them
17:27off screen as an
17:28explanation for why
17:29they didn't do
17:30that.
17:31It should also be
17:32explained that the
17:33hillbillies were out
17:34of magic and that's
17:35why they didn't just
17:35overpower the granny
17:37when she told them
17:38to unseal the house.
17:40Because of such
17:41jerks it's hard to
17:43believe that they
17:45unsealed the house
17:46because they loved
17:47her so much they
17:47wanted to humor her
17:48because they never
17:49acted like they
17:50loved her.
17:51Bottom line is
17:53this episode was a
17:53little annoying and
17:54a waste of time
17:55because it's a
17:56cliche story about
17:57hillbilly relatives
17:58being annoying,
17:59cliche morons to
18:00the main characters
18:01but with the most
18:03stereotypical witch
18:03twist you could
18:04give them.
18:05At least the story
18:06was one of the
18:07easiest to tolerate
18:08bad episodes so
18:09far because the
18:10lesson of the story
18:11wasn't being taught
18:12to Sabrina so it
18:14wasn't entirely about
18:15making her an idiot
18:16and punishing her
18:16for it.
18:17She did get made a
18:18fool out of when
18:19she thought she
18:20could relate to
18:20them and talk them
18:21into unsealing the
18:22house but it was
18:23just one scene where
18:25she was actually
18:25acting like how real
18:26Sabrina would and
18:28it taught a great
18:29lesson that way too
18:30many adults haven't
18:31learned yet somehow
18:32that trying to appeal
18:34to the humanity and
18:35people like this is a
18:36waste of time.
18:38It's too bad that all
18:39of them had to look
18:40like hillbillies or
18:41it wouldn't have made
18:42any sense that they
18:43were all there
18:43together because not
18:45everybody who's like
18:47these people looks or
18:49sounds like a
18:49hillbilly.
18:51The main moral of the
18:52story was taught to
18:53the bad guys of the
18:54episode and was
18:55about the fact that
18:55acting out jealousy
18:56makes you the bad
18:58guy and spending
18:59your money stupidly
19:00makes you lose it
19:01all so you shouldn't
19:02give a bunch of
19:02money to hillbillies
19:04that you didn't make
19:05sure were good with
19:06money first if you're
19:07too lazy to tell
19:08them how to be
19:09responsible with it.
19:10And even then they
19:11probably would have
19:12ignored the advice
19:13so the money should
19:14have gone to other
19:15people.
19:16And the granny
19:17herself is a kind
19:18of confusing character
19:19when you think about
19:20it.
19:21She's mean enough
19:22to put Zelda in a
19:24corner for talking
19:26after she was
19:27finished talking
19:28which is somehow
19:28interrupting her.
19:30But she's not so
19:31mean that she would
19:32keep her stuff and
19:34money.
19:34She passed down that
19:36stuff to other people
19:37when she was still
19:38alive because she's
19:39nice.
19:41Obviously I'm not
19:42buying the excuse
19:43that she has to clear
19:44out her stuff every
19:45so often because she
19:46lives long enough
19:47because they can just
19:48use magic to make
19:49another room to keep
19:51their stuff.
19:52They can just go to
19:53outer space and
19:56zap up a room to
19:58keep their extra
19:59stuff.
20:00They can like do
20:01that in the other
20:01realm.
20:02I'm sure there's so
20:03much room in the
20:04other realm that's
20:05just empty space
20:06that could be
20:07completely filled
20:08with vaults of
20:10witch stuff no
20:11problem.
20:12The reason I said
20:13outer space is
20:15because I know
20:15that there's a lot
20:16of empty fields
20:17that are actually
20:18government owned
20:20public property
20:21so they wouldn't
20:22be allowed to
20:23just zap up a
20:24room with their
20:24stuff in it on
20:25there.
20:26There wouldn't be
20:27any forest left
20:28in the other realm
20:29version of Earth
20:30if that was the
20:31case.
20:32focus.
20:33Together.
20:33Together.
20:34It's the
20:35host.선el
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