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00:12Calm down, calm down, calm down!
00:19Everything is under control!
00:27Oh, and good news!
00:29The new special is Louisiana Blackened Pizza!
00:43It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
00:50The love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even harder to find.
00:57Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.
01:05Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of everything.
01:12As days go by
01:17We're gonna fill our house with happiness
01:21The moon may cry
01:24But we'll smother the blues with tenderness
01:28As days go by
01:30There's room for you, room for me
01:35For gentle hearts and opportunity
01:37As days go by
01:42It's the bigger love of the family
02:01Hurry up, Winslow!
02:03I don't like to be kept waiting.
02:05Promise you won't laugh?
02:08You have my word as an officer and a gentleman
02:10Give up a moment
02:12You have my mother
02:14I don't like to be quiet
02:31That's true!
02:39It's the only thing you care
02:40I haven't said to you
02:45You promised me you wouldn't laugh.
02:48I had my fingers crossed, man.
02:53Oh, you're beautiful when you're angry.
02:58Okay, that's it.
03:00As of now, I am unvolunteering for this operation.
03:12Fine, Winslow.
03:14You want to be a sergeant for the rest of your life, that it?
03:17Well, no, but...
03:18Listen up.
03:20Some lowlife mugged the wife of our beloved police chief.
03:24Now, if we capture that lowlife,
03:27how do you think our beloved police chief will reward us?
03:31With a promotion?
03:34That's the least we can expect from that old rummy.
03:38Well, let's get this over with.
03:46May I?
03:51I'll put my face on in the car.
03:56Wait, wait, wait.
03:57Wait, wait.
04:02Allow me, babe.
04:09Don't you even think about it.
04:20I'm Rachel.
04:21Yes, sweetie.
04:22Have you checked out the guy on table four?
04:24Six foot two, tweed jacket, brown eyes, gold watch,
04:27no wedding ring, small scar on chin.
04:30That's him.
04:31Hardly noticed him.
04:34Right.
04:34Well, he has to see the manager.
04:36Oh, no.
04:37What's wrong?
04:37He didn't say.
04:38When you go over there,
04:39check out his dimples when he chews.
04:48I'm the manager, sir.
04:49Is there a problem?
04:50Hmm.
04:51As a matter of fact, there is.
04:53I've got this delicious dinner in front of me,
04:55and I have to eat it all alone.
04:57Unless...
04:57Would you join me?
05:03Well, it's the after-school rush,
05:06and as you can see,
05:07I'm really very, very...
05:08Sure.
05:21Vonda Mahoney.
05:23In the flesh.
05:24And oh, what flesh it is.
05:29What you gonna do, Eddie?
05:31I'm gonna put the moves on Vonda.
05:33Word is she's fast.
05:35I could beat her.
05:39Those high heels would slow her down.
05:44No, man.
05:45Guys who go over with Vonda get instant reps.
05:48We'd be studs instead of what we are.
05:52No.
05:54Virgins?
06:09Hi, Vonda.
06:11Can I buy you a soda?
06:12A burger?
06:13A motorhome?
06:16That's a great line.
06:17Thanks.
06:18Now go away.
06:22Why?
06:22What's wrong?
06:24I got a D on my algebra test this morning,
06:26and if I can't get at least a B on the midterm,
06:28I'm gonna flunk.
06:30Well, maybe I can help you out.
06:32Really?
06:35You any good at algebra?
06:39Oh, please.
06:41Does this look like the body of a guy
06:42who's good at algebra?
06:46Then how can you help?
06:47Oh, well, I know the smartest kid in the school.
06:49He got me through my math classes,
06:51and I'm sure he could do the same for you.
06:52Um, really?
06:53Mm-hmm.
06:54Um, if you can get him to tutor me,
06:57I'll be very grateful to you.
07:04Very grateful?
07:07Very, very grateful.
07:15Uh-oh.
07:16Excuse me.
07:19Oh, what'd I do?
07:21What'd I do?
07:21Steve, I need your help.
07:25Now, Eddo, I'm busy, and I don't blow mama.
07:32That's Vonda Mahoney.
07:33She's flunking algebra.
07:35If you tutor her and she passes,
07:36she'll go out with me.
07:38Gotcha.
07:39And what's in it for the Steve Arena?
07:44Friendship.
07:45We'll be best buddies.
07:47Really?
07:48Really?
07:48Even when other people are around?
07:52Well, I was asking a lot.
07:57Okay.
08:05Excuse me, Greg.
08:06I have to go help my help.
08:08Oh, that's too bad.
08:09I wasn't done flirting.
08:10Well, neither was I.
08:12Is that my check?
08:13No, your meal's on the house.
08:15That's my phone number.
08:25You know, Harriet,
08:27I've been parading around in this getup
08:28for a whole month now,
08:30and I haven't attracted one single sleazeball.
08:34To tell you the truth, Carl,
08:35I'm not surprised.
08:37What's that supposed to mean?
08:40Well, isn't the object of this
08:41to look as much as possible like a woman?
08:44Well, of course.
08:45There might be a small problem
08:47with your mustache.
08:49Oh, no, no, no, no.
08:51The police chief's wife
08:53has a bigger mustache than me.
08:58I don't know.
08:59Apparently this guy is hot for hair.
09:04Something else must be wrong.
09:10There is.
09:12Carl,
09:13you don't walk like a woman.
09:15You walk like a linebacker.
09:19Oh, and I suppose that you
09:21know how to walk like a woman?
09:25I've had a few years' experience.
09:28Watch me close.
09:35See, a woman is daintier.
09:39More feminine.
09:41She...
09:42lies.
09:45Hey, you are good.
09:46I know.
09:48Let me try.
09:49Okay.
09:57Okay.
09:58Slow, slow.
10:00Slow.
10:00Slow, baby.
10:01Okay.
10:01Slow.
10:02Okay.
10:02Slow.
10:03Left to right.
10:04Left to right.
10:05Are we cooking with grease now, baby?
10:08Yeah.
10:12Sweetheart,
10:12I don't know if I'll catch a mugger,
10:14but I sure need a good laugh to smoke.
10:26Oh, unhand her, madam.
10:30Steve, take it easy.
10:32Laura, how can you be so blase about this?
10:36My God, girl, you've been watching too much Geraldo.
10:41Steve, it's me, Carl.
10:46Oh.
10:48Ow.
10:50Ow.
10:53Steve, relax.
10:54I'm working, undercover.
10:56I'm a mugging decoy.
10:58Oh, boy, that's a big relief.
11:01Carl, I need the car tonight,
11:03so I'm gonna have to drive you to work.
11:04Oh, okay, honey.
11:05Oh, wait a minute, sweetheart.
11:07That's my bag.
11:08Oh, excuse me.
11:08Oh, that's all right.
11:10Easy, easy, Carl.
11:11Now get all the way over there.
11:12I got it now, baby.
11:13I won't fall.
11:13I won't fall.
11:14Come on.
11:15Here we go.
11:24Steve, Steve, Steve.
11:26At your service.
11:27I passed my algebra exam,
11:28and it was thanks to you and your tutoring.
11:30Oh, congratulations.
11:32But you're the one who deserves most of the credit.
11:34Your own brain got you there.
11:35I just pointed it in the right direction.
11:37Wow, I still want to thank you, Steve.
11:40Oh, you're welcome.
11:42No, you don't understand.
11:43I want to really thank you.
11:50Oh, you're really welcome.
11:55No, no, no, um, you don't understand.
11:58There's a certain way that I show my gratitude.
12:02Oh?
12:03Well, I am partial to cheese.
12:08No, no, I was thinking we could go out on a date.
12:12A date?
12:13Mm-hmm.
12:14Oh.
12:14With me?
12:16Mm-hmm.
12:16Oh, a date date?
12:18Mm-hmm.
12:19Oh, with me?
12:20Mm-hmm.
12:22Mm-hmm.
12:34Steve!
12:35Steve!
12:36Huh?
12:36Huh?
12:37Are you OK?
12:38Huh?
12:38Huh?
12:38Huh?
12:39Oh, oh, I'm fine.
12:40I'm fine.
12:41I'm fine.
12:41I am calm, I am cool, and I am collective, eh?
12:46Uh-huh.
12:51I'm making you nervous, aren't I?
12:53Oh, just a little.
12:56Now, look, Vonda, I'm overwhelmed by your generous offer,
13:00but I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you down.
13:03Why?
13:04Oh, you're good.
13:08Steve, don't you understand that one date with me
13:11is going to change your entire life?
13:14Oh.
13:16Well, how exactly?
13:19Don't some of the kids think that you're, uh...
13:22Well, what's the word I'm looking for?
13:23The word is nerd.
13:25Yeah.
13:27Well, after you go out with me, your rep would change.
13:30You'd become, uh, ladies, ma'am.
13:34Yeah.
13:38Wow.
13:40From dead to stuck.
13:48He's coming!
13:49No!
13:50He's coming!
13:51He's coming!
13:51Oh, my God!
13:52Steve Rekle is coming!
14:19Yo, girls, sweat patrol.
14:21Oh, my God!
14:24Oh, my God!
14:25Oh, my God!
14:27I'd give anything to be like Steve Rekle.
14:31Face it, Eddie.
14:32There can only be one Steve Rekle in this world,
14:34and Steve Rekle is one of them.
14:42Oh!
14:45Laura, I saved my best perspiration for you.
14:51Care to mop my brow?
14:54Forget it.
14:57No sweat, my pet.
15:00In your dreams.
15:01Hey, this is my dreams.
15:04Hey, this is my dream.
15:05Well, then, not even in your dreams.
15:09I can't believe this.
15:11I'm being rejected in my own fantasy.
15:17Steve.
15:18Steve.
15:19Oh, look, Bonda, sit down a sec.
15:24Oh, now, we need to talk.
15:26About what?
15:27Well, about reputations.
15:29Now, we'll start with Mark.
15:31Now, I wouldn't be comfortable being a ladies' man.
15:33I just want to be one ladies' man.
15:35Laura, right?
15:36Yes, indeed.
15:38And, now, if I have the reputation of being a nerd,
15:42well, that makes no never mind to me,
15:44because I like myself.
15:47Hmm.
15:48Well, good for you.
15:49I'm glad.
15:50Now, um,
15:51you have a reputation, too, don't you?
15:59I don't know.
16:01Well, some of the guys in school say that you're, um,
16:04well, that you're, um,
16:07easy.
16:08Yeah, that's it.
16:10Hey, Steve,
16:12I want to be popular, okay?
16:15But, Bonda, you're terrific.
16:16You're pretty, you're smart, and you're nice.
16:19Like, you don't have to be easy to be popular.
16:23But I want guys to like me.
16:26They will,
16:27but first you have to like yourself.
16:30Now,
16:31do you like yourself?
16:38Not always.
16:41Well, you can change that.
16:44Oh, but I'm supposed to go out with Eddie Winslow tomorrow night.
16:47Steve, he's expecting me to be very,
16:50very grateful.
16:52Oh,
16:53pish tosh!
16:56Eddie is my best bud,
16:58and he happens to be a true gentleman.
17:03Eddie Winslow?
17:05I guarantee you,
17:07he will be the first
17:08to congratulate you on your new life.
17:11Actually,
17:12he'll be the second one.
17:17Congratulations, Bonda!
17:27Oh, gosh.
17:28I am telling you,
17:29I never knew that hockey
17:31could be so much fun.
17:32Well, there's always great action on the ice.
17:34Yeah.
17:34Hey, now,
17:34what were the players doing
17:35when they weren't punching and gouging
17:37and slapping each other with those sticks?
17:39Oh, that?
17:39That was hockey.
17:40Get out of here!
17:43I tell you,
17:43you can sure get rid of all your aggressions,
17:45that way.
17:45Oh, yeah, it's a terrific game.
17:46Yeah.
17:48Well, thanks for another great evening, Greg.
17:51My pleasure.
17:52Rachel,
17:52I think you're terrific.
17:53In fact,
17:54so is your whole family.
17:56They're good,
17:57solid,
17:58salt-of-the-earth people.
18:01Hey, Greg,
18:02hey, Rachel.
18:03Great news.
18:04I got mugged.
18:07Harry is gonna be so proud.
18:10Hey, honey!
18:11Sweetheart!
18:12It worked!
18:13Hey, Harry!
18:20Yeah, we're good,
18:21solid,
18:22salt-of-the-earth people.
18:27Well.
18:29Well.
18:30Good night, Greg.
18:32Good night, Rachel.
18:43Look, why don't you call me tomorrow, okay?
18:50Okay.
18:59Rachel,
19:00I need to know something.
19:02We've gone out several times now,
19:04and I think we're good for each other.
19:07Well,
19:09I think so, too, Greg.
19:10You do?
19:12Then why don't you feel you're always backing away from me?
19:15I don't think I'm...
19:16Rachel,
19:18I'd like for this relationship to go somewhere.
19:21But if you're not ready for that,
19:23well,
19:24I'd like for you to let me know now.
19:26That way we don't waste each other's time.
19:30I am ready for a relationship.
19:32Oh?
19:34Then why are you still wearing your wedding ring?
19:41I'll call you tomorrow.
19:44Sleep tight.
19:45You, too.
20:18Oh, hi, Anna.
20:20Hi, Vonda.
20:21Hey, Steve.
20:22Doesn't Vonda look great?
20:23Oh, yes, as usual.
20:25I just picked Vonda up.
20:27We're gonna grab a quick bite,
20:28and then it's right back to Vonda's.
20:30Her parents aren't home.
20:33Hey, here's a thought.
20:34Let's get the food to go.
20:37Vonda,
20:38did you tell Anna all the good news?
20:40What good news?
20:41The good news ain't happened yet.
20:46Uh, Eddie?
20:48Steve and I had a nice talk,
20:50and, um,
20:52he helped me realize
20:53that I don't have to be easy to be popular.
20:58You don't?
21:01No, I don't.
21:03So from now on,
21:04I'm not even gonna kiss on the first date.
21:06Thanks to Steve,
21:07I have respect for myself now.
21:10That's great.
21:13Excuse us.
21:15Anna,
21:16is there a problem, Anna?
21:18What's the matter?
21:19Anna?
21:20Ooh, ooh, Anna.
21:21Okay.
21:25Hi, everybody.
21:26Hey, guys.
21:27Hey, sweetie.
21:28I got my commendation
21:29for catching the muggers.
21:30Oh, girl, that's great.
21:32But would you believe
21:33that Lieutenant Murtaugh is jealous?
21:35What?
21:35He says he won't rest
21:36until he gets a commendation, too.
21:40What is it?
21:44Hurry up, will ya?
21:45The clock is ticking
21:46on this 18-hour girdle.
21:49After you, babe.
21:52Don't even think about it.
21:54It would work.
21:56Yeah, apart.
21:59Yeah, apart.
22:03Thank you, babe.,
22:05good, baby. And
22:16guess what? Honestly,
22:20there's no doubt you didn't
22:20get this pit. To be honest,
22:21No 13. That's
22:24Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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