- 2 hours ago
Hyacinth's plan to take Daddy on a picnic backfires when he takes the car, leaving the rest of the family stranded.
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00:12I heard a noise
00:13There's no one there
00:15Are you sure everything's locked?
00:17Everything's locked, bolted bar
00:19You check the windows?
00:21I check the windows
00:22What about the garage?
00:25Yes, it's still there
00:29I can't understand why we've never been burgled
00:34It's common knowledge that I have some very valuable objet d'art
00:39Objet d'art?
00:40My royal d'ulton
00:42Oh, that
00:43And the figurines that were grandmamas
00:46Yes, those
00:49The Wilkinsons were burgled
00:52On his income, I can't understand how they could afford to be burgled
00:58Quite honestly, in their circumstances
01:00I think it's a mite pretentious of them to be burgled
01:06One day there'll be Sheridans
01:09The Wilkinsons
01:12Don't be silly, dear
01:13My objet d'art
01:18Hi, I think sometime we ought to have a talk about Sheridan
01:23Oh, you know how I love to talk about Sheridan
01:28Yes, I do know
01:30But not that kind of talk
01:31Something a little more serious
01:33What on earth do you mean, dear?
01:35Well, we put him to higher education because you wanted him to be a quantity surveyor
01:41So why has he dropped maths in favour of needlework?
01:49Because he started to make all his own clothes, that's why
01:53Don't you worry about him?
01:55I worry about all my family, Richard
01:57I worry about Daddy
01:59Am I neglecting him?
02:01We ought to take him out more
02:03Do you think he'd notice?
02:06It's my duty
02:14Good night, Richard
02:16Good night, Hyacinth
02:22Someone outdoors
02:23You take Daddy somewhere outdoors for a picnic
02:27It's one o'clock in the morning
02:30I don't mean now, dear
02:32I mean tomorrow, when you have the day off
02:34We'll take Daddy somewhere nice in the country for a picnic
02:38Oh
02:39I should have thought of it before
02:41It's ideal for Daddy, a picnic
02:43He can drop as many crumbs as he likes
02:47I'll ring Daisy in the morning and tell her to get him ready
02:51Can we go to sleep now?
02:53Yes, of course, dear
02:55It's been preying on my mind
02:57I mustn't neglect Daddy because he's sometimes difficult
03:01I know my duty
03:02I trust I shall always be a caring daughter
03:13Good night, Richard
03:21Why don't we make a list
03:23Of Daddy's favourite snacks
03:27Come on, dear
03:30And what can I wear that won't spoil if it's splashed or dribbled on?
03:40You swine
03:41I told you I never wanted to speak to you again
03:44Oh, it's you, Hyacinth
03:47No, I was expecting a call from a Mr Butterfield
03:51Daddy?
03:52Yes, yes, we can get him ready
03:55A picnic
03:57Oh, I think that's a lovely idea
03:59Now get off the phone
04:06What's the matter?
04:08It's Rose, she was very rude
04:11Do you think she's emotionally involved again?
04:13Rose is always emotionally involved
04:15She was very excitable
04:16Oh, she'll get over it
04:18She always does
04:20She mentioned the gentleman's name
04:24Butterfield
04:24Now the only Butterfields I know
04:27Are the quality car people
04:28That rather prestigious showroom
04:30With the leather furniture
04:31It's probably not those Butterfields at all
04:33Oh, I believe it is
04:35And I think it's the real thing this time
04:37You can tell in her voice
04:39I shall have to take her in hand
04:41The benefit of my experience
04:43Could considerably aid her social advancement
04:46Where's your tie, Richard?
04:48Hmm?
04:48Your tie, dear
04:50Well, I thought since we were going on a picnic
04:53Richard
05:06My sister Rose
05:09Mrs. Butterfield
05:11My sister Rose Butterfield
05:17You've met my sister Rose
05:19Mrs. Butterfield
05:21You know
05:23The executive car people
05:26Has she asked him if he wants to go on a picnic?
05:30I don't know why she can't leave him alone
05:32He's been quiet for the last few days
05:35I noticed that
05:36I thought he must be dead
05:41Has anybody checked?
05:45That's not funny, Onslow
05:47I know
05:48Terrible thing is a picnic
05:51Where are they going on this picnic?
05:53Oh, I don't know
05:55And I can't stand here gabbing about it
05:59I'm expecting a call from Mr. Butterfield
06:01It's all right saying
06:03Get him ready
06:04Getting him ready for our house
06:06That's really getting him ready
06:10Does she mean I've got to do sandwiches?
06:13Your eye synth will never be seen in public
06:15With one of your sandwiches
06:18Now me, for instance
06:19That's a different matter
06:20I could just murder a bacon butty
06:22Well, you've had it
06:23I've got to get father ready
06:25Oh, nice
06:35Is this tie all right?
06:40Yes, that's fine, dear
06:43I don't know which glasses to take
06:46I'll have to take something presentable in case we're overlooked
06:50You shall be overlooked if we find somewhere quiet
06:52I'll take these
06:54These won't let us down
06:57Can your father handle a glass?
06:59Hmm?
07:00Oh, Daddy can have a beaker
07:03But I'll take a glass as well in case there are passers-by
07:07I'm not having rumours circulating that Daddy drinks out of a beaker
07:12Oh, I'll answer that, dear
07:13You finish packing the glasses safely
07:17Glad you like the tie
07:21The bouquet residence
07:23The lady of the house speaking
07:26Oh, it must be Sheridan
07:28Yes, of course, we'll accept the charge
07:33Sheridan
07:33How thoughtful of you to ring Mummy, dear
07:36It's Sheridan
07:38What does he want?
07:41I don't know that he wants anything, dear
07:44It's just a personal, thoughtful little call to his mummy
07:50You need what, Sheridan?
07:53Some pyjamas?
07:54Well, I don't see why not
07:56Now, you surely can't begrudge the boy a pair of pyjamas
08:01Daddy says, of course, you may have some new pyjamas
08:05I'll get some and send them on to you
08:08Oh, you've seen some that you like?
08:12Well, yes, it's no problem
08:13We could send the money instead
08:17How much?
08:19How much?
08:23Would you repeat that, Sheridan?
08:26I think I misheard, dear
08:29No, I didn't mishear
08:31But why do they have to be pure silk?
08:36Your friend Tarquin only wears pure silk pyjamas
08:40I see
08:42No, of course you wouldn't want to be left out
08:46Goodbye, dear
08:50Hyacinth
08:51I think it's splendid that Sheridan is mixing
08:55So it's such a nice class of person
08:56Now, I've got to get these
08:58You can't come in
09:16I'm expecting a personal telephone call
09:18Good
09:19If there's nothing on the telly
09:20I can listen to you
09:22Don't be a swine, Onslow
09:24I don't see why I should start changing the habits of a lifetime
09:33Where's Daddy's brown shoes?
09:34Have you seen his brown shoes?
09:36No good asking me
09:37I've got other things on my mind
09:59I was looking for that
10:02How long have you been crushing my girdle?
10:05Off the top of my head, I'd say I haven't
10:09Not for a while
10:27I don't know why you're being so sniffy about a pair of pyjamas
10:31At that price
10:35If he's mixing in the better circles
10:38I will not have my Sheridan looking like a poor relation
10:43Are you there, Elizabeth?
10:45There's no one there
10:47You give up too easily
10:49There's one thing you can say about me
10:52Is that I give up too easily
10:58Did you want me, Hyacinth?
11:01In view of the Wilkinson's burglary
11:03I thought it best to let you know that we're popping out for an hour or two
11:06I'm taking Daddy on a picnic
11:08Oh, that's nice
11:12A little fresh air will do him good
11:14Yes, I'm sure it will
11:16I've just been speaking to Sheridan
11:18He thinks it's a good idea too
11:20He's such a thoughtful boy
11:22Is Sheridan well?
11:24Fair enough to be buying silk pyjamas
11:27Anything coarser irritates
11:29He was always very soft-skinned
11:32He takes after me, I'm afraid
11:41Find the old lady on the pavement
11:43I'm not going on the pavement
11:45Supposing she suddenly leaps off?
11:48What old ladies do?
11:50Make sudden leaps
11:53And there's a cyclist
11:54I can see him
11:59Turn right here, dear
12:02Right
12:02Your sister's in the other direction
12:06We'll call for petrol
12:10We can call somewhere on the way to Denzi's
12:12No, we'll call somewhere this way
12:15Why?
12:17Oh, I see
12:20We'll fill up here
12:22If Rose is going to be connected with the family
12:24We might as well start using here
12:29You don't even know if it's the same butterfield
12:32Now, how many butterfields do you think there are in a small town?
12:53Are you planning to fill it yourself?
12:56Self-service
12:57Well, not for those connected with the family, surely?
13:01Look, let's not make that for us
13:03Oh, very well
13:14Hello?
13:17It's for you
13:18It's your cousin, Ralphie
13:32Heyo, Parkhead
13:33Don't hog the phone
13:35I'm expecting a call from Mr Butterfield
13:38Well, I'm fairly busy, Ralphie
13:40Of course, it's not easy getting out from under this dog
13:45Has it got to be done today?
13:48I haven't got a roof, Ralph
13:52Well, how heavy is it?
13:55Well, he's ready
13:56I mean, for me, he's ready
13:58Whether he's ready for our house, since we'll find out
14:00Will you get Onslow off the phone with their Ralphie?
14:04What's Ralphie want?
14:06Stuff him
14:11We must never let Rose bring a Butterfield here
14:13We should arrange a little meeting at home
14:17I could surround him with coffee and petite four
14:19And you could talk to him intelligently
14:22Perhaps you ought to start brushing up your knowledge
14:24On the problems of the luxury carriage trade
14:27That sounds fun
14:42It's the dustbin, men, I feel sorry for
14:44I mean, how can they distinguish
14:46Between what they're supposed to take
14:48And what's supposed to stay?
15:10Leave it, leave it
15:33Is Daddy ready?
15:35He's ready
15:35Daddy, it's Hyacinth, dear
15:39No, don't get under the bed
15:41At least I hope he's ready
15:44Hasn't he got a tie?
15:46For a picnic?
15:48Just because it's alfresco
15:50It doesn't mean it's any the less a social occasion
15:52I'll get a tie
15:55The car's outside, Daddy
15:57Be with you in a moment
15:59I just want to have a word with Rose
16:08I haven't got your ball
16:11Richard, do stop playing with that animal
16:17You're a louse
16:19You've always been a louse
16:21And what's more, you've got hairy toes
16:24You're the first man I've ever known with hairy toes
16:27Ted Butterfield
16:27And it looks like a bad sign
16:31Rose!
16:32You cannot speak like that to a Butterfield
16:34Good gracious girl
16:35Think of the bright future ahead
16:37Bright future?
16:38Do you know the Butterfields?
16:39Of course we know the Butterfields
16:41We've just been there
16:42My sister won't keep you a moment, Mr Butterfield
16:45We call regularly at their place of business
16:48What place of business?
16:49My sister's standing here
16:50In the grip of a very powerful emotion
16:52You mustn't take any notice of her harsh words
16:56It's just a crust that she's had to develop
16:58To cover her purity and simplicity
17:00We're like that as a family
17:01The higher standards prevail
17:03My son wears pure silk pyjamas
17:07Rose!
17:08Pull yourself together
17:09You'll have to learn to behave
17:11If you're going to maintain a relationship
17:12With one of the town's leading commercial families
17:15What?
17:17A commercial family?
17:19The executive motor showroom, the garage
17:21Their four-court service is unparalleled
17:24He's not that, Butterfield
17:26This one's a total drick
17:28Without a penny to his name
17:31And furthermore
17:32Will you kindly stop bothering my sister?
17:37What have you done that for?
17:39I love him
17:40How can you love him?
17:42The man has hairy toes
17:46Now
17:49That's a much smarter daddy with the tie
17:52Wait there until we fetch you
17:56And don't disarrange yourself
18:00Has he got a handkerchief?
18:01One of Onslow's
18:05Is it clean?
18:07It's clean
18:09Where is Onslow?
18:10I suppose he's still in bed
18:12He's not still in bed
18:13He's gone to borrow a roof rack
18:15What for?
18:16He's got to help there, Ralph
18:17Remove something
18:18Whatever next
18:22If someone
18:23If anybody's listening
18:26I'm under here
18:28Richard
18:29I told you to stop playing with that dog
18:33I don't want hairs all over our old sofa
18:37Daisy
18:37As well as a handkerchief
18:39I think daddy ought to have a small towel
18:41A small, clean towel
18:45Oh, look at your clothes
18:47You're covered in hairs
18:49Well, that's an improvement
18:50For the past half hour
18:51I've been covered in dog
18:54And where is everybody
18:56When you need them?
18:57Onslow's gone
18:58Borrowing a roof rack
18:59And then he's off
19:00On some appalling
19:02Unstylish errand
19:03For their wraith
19:15Oh, nice
19:18Oh, no
19:24There goes daddy
19:25With my tuna mayonnaise
19:26And my car
19:28Well, who was supposed to be watching him?
19:30I was in the kitchen
19:32I was under the dog
19:37Impulsive daddy
19:39I hope he's not going to drive
19:40At speeds
19:41Incompatible
19:42With my cut glass condiment set
19:44My car
19:45How are we going to catch up with him?
19:48We'll have to go in mine
19:56How are we going to catch up with him?
20:16I'm not going to catch up with him
20:18I'm not going to catch up with him
20:31Richard's car
20:32I could have sworn that was Richard's car
20:34I don't know who the damn fool behind the wheel was
20:37All I could see was a cap
20:38A car being driven by a cap
20:45There goes me roof rack
20:51He's getting away
20:52He's got a newer car, hasn't he?
20:55Let's hope he keeps it that way
21:06He'll slow down in a bit
21:08Why should he slow down?
21:10Because he gets tired
21:13I know what he's like
21:14He has bursts of energy
21:16And then he goes to sleep
21:18Behind the wheel
21:19That should be interesting
21:21Poor daddy
21:22Oh my poor car
21:24He does
21:25He could be talking to a person
21:27And in the middle of a sentence
21:29Wallop
21:29He's asleep
21:49He's slowing down
21:50I told you
21:52He's feeling tired
21:59Can't you overtake him?
22:00On which side?
22:03Oh, poor daddy
22:06Asleep at the wheel of a strange car
22:08It's not the car that's strange
22:10It's your father
22:13I should be with him in his hour of danger
22:16He might have an accident
22:19I can't bear to think of him lying injured
22:22His dear bald head
22:24Covered in my tuna mayonnaise
22:28Oh no
22:29I think my gasket's gone
22:50I liked it better when you were chaplain of a prison
22:53Well, I didn't
22:54It's beginning to speak out of the side of my mouth
22:56It's a friendly parish here
22:58Some of the women are too friendly
23:00Now, that was an evil thought
23:09Oh damn, it's the bucket woman
23:11She didn't say damn like that
23:13Not normally, no
23:14What are you doing?
23:16I'm turning round
23:17You can't turn round
23:18You have to help those people
23:21Oh, I suppose you're right
23:32Damn
23:33It's the vampire's sister
23:35They're round
23:36Too round
23:36Too round
23:38They've seen us
23:45May I be of any help?
23:47That's very, very kind of you, Vicka
23:49Perhaps you could give us a lift
23:52It's not our car, of course
23:53We're just here on charitable purposes
23:56Room for a couple
23:57Thank you very, very much
24:01Thank you, Vicka
24:05Thank you, Vicka
24:06Thank you, Vicka
24:07Go on, Vicka
24:16It's good
24:18Yes
24:20Down, go
24:24I do think he's got lovely air for you, Vicka
24:36I can't think how long it is
24:38Until I sat on your lap, Onslow
24:40Makes your eyes water
24:41I know that
24:44How fares the church worldwide, then, Vicka?
24:47For example
24:48What is the missionary position in China these days?
24:57I think that dog's had a couple of your plums
25:06This will do fine, Vicka
25:08This will do fine, Vicka
25:12Why are we stopping here?
25:14I promised our Ralphie
25:21We must do this more often
25:23It's easier helping our Ralphie move something
25:33Ralphie's always wanting him to move something
25:38Like an arm, possibly
25:40Like an arm, possibly
25:41What about my car?
25:43What about my picnic?
25:46What about my daddy?
25:48Can you give us a lift with this stuff, somebody?
25:51I'll go
25:56Here, Ralphie, just get on this stuff, will you?
26:00Bye, Gail
26:01Bye
26:05That looks a bit dodgy
26:15I thought Harrison said she was going for a picnic
26:17Looks as if they're prepared for every contingency
26:34Hello, welcome to England
26:37Hello, welcome to England
26:41Hello, welcome to England
26:44Hello, welcome to England
26:48Hello, welcome to England
26:49It's much more than fish and chips
26:51We've got chicks with the tits and the big filled lips
26:53Ballied up kids and the RS6
26:54Big two fiddies, small fiddies with a kick
26:56Lies with more grips, little creep in your crib
26:58I smell bacon, I smell pigs
27:00Take the cash down, get into the whip
27:01Leeds road racing, I'm feeling like Hamilton
27:03Weegros amazing, Cropsy, I'm grabbing them
27:05Don't give a fuck in the truck and I'm ramming them
27:07From the West Yorkshire police here, it's running them