- 2 days ago
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00:15This is a production of the U.S. Department of Education.
00:57So we've had another little accident, have we?
00:59You can deduct all breakages from me wages, sir.
01:02You don't earn enough.
01:04No, sir.
01:05Well, perhaps if you gave me a rise.
01:08Listen, this wasn't the new gravy bug, was it?
01:10Oh, no, no, no, no, sir.
01:12I broke that yesterday.
01:15No, this was a milk jug.
01:17But think of it like this, sir.
01:19This might be the one that you wouldn't be giving to people who order black coffee,
01:23so it won't be missed.
01:24Yes.
01:26What did he break this time?
01:28Milk jug.
01:28Oh, no, that was part of a matching set.
01:31Still is.
01:31He broke the others this morning.
01:33Next time he breaks something, I shall tell him to go.
01:36Oh, you can't say that.
01:36I didn't say that.
01:37You said that.
01:38I've said it.
01:39I've said to him.
01:39I said, I said, you're useless.
01:41I said, stop coming here night after night.
01:43I said, clear off.
01:44I've said it.
01:44Clear, it's only in front of the bathroom mirror.
01:46That doesn't count.
01:48You don't tell him.
01:49I will.
01:49Right, I've been waiting for you to say that.
01:50Fine.
01:51Off you go.
01:51Albert, Albert, Albert.
01:52Vicky, has something to say to you?
01:54I don't trust you to push it off on me.
01:56Women?
01:57Oh, I know, sir.
01:58They're trouble on legs.
02:00Bridie O'Keefe used to say that, and she was half a woman herself.
02:04Yes.
02:05Four foot nothing she was.
02:06Singer with the show band.
02:07I used to fiddle with it.
02:09Do you?
02:10Oh, I played you wicked fiddle, so I did.
02:12In and out like a bee on elastic.
02:15I mind the time Seamus O'Hagan's pig got at the holy candles.
02:19Yeah, if you'll excuse me, I think there's some work for me, don't you?
02:22Right, sir, I'll wash the floor, will I?
02:24Right, just don't drop it, that's all.
02:29Did you tell him?
02:30Well, not exactly.
02:31I mean, the automatic dishwasher's due any day now.
02:33Do you think he'll take the hint?
02:34Yes, of course he will.
02:35Won't he?
02:36Well, let's face it, Robin, he's a useless object.
02:38Hello, Victoria.
02:40Ah, now we've got the full set.
02:42Hello, Dad.
02:43What can we do for you?
02:45Nothing.
02:45Deal.
02:47No, no, no, I was just passing by, I thought I'd drop in to see if I'd left my umbrella
02:51here.
02:52You are carrying it?
02:53I come from a two-umbrella family.
02:56Besides, I feel it's my duty as a partner to drop in occasionally and interfere constructively.
03:01Would you like a drink?
03:02Well, the Elsa, darling.
03:04Still, I'll try and slip a sherry past it.
03:08Well, how's business?
03:10Well, picking up, mainly off the kitchen floor.
03:13Yeah.
03:14You know, I've been thinking, this place lacks a certain something.
03:20Customers?
03:21That too, yes.
03:22But the appearance lacks something.
03:25I mean, it's a little bear.
03:27Well, we've already got one.
03:29A wall.
03:31Oh, thank you, darling.
03:31I was just saying to, uh, uh, no.
03:34Uh, we need a little colour on the walls, perhaps framed, uh, hanging here and there, you know?
03:42You mean like paintings?
03:44By George, I think she's got it.
03:46Paintings, that's what we need, yes.
03:47You really think so?
03:48Oh, well, it's Victoria's idea, not mine.
03:51Paintings.
03:52Who ever would have thought of it, yes?
03:53Well, we can't afford it.
03:54No?
03:55Oh, what a pity.
03:58Oh, well.
03:59I'll tell you what you could do.
04:00You could find some young artist and offer your walls as a gallery.
04:04I don't know any young artists.
04:06Oh.
04:07Oh, well, never mind.
04:10Just a moment.
04:13You do know one.
04:16Yes, I think I might.
04:19I seem to remember meeting an artist at a party a few weeks ago and I'll...
04:23What was the name?
04:25Just, uh, don't tell me.
04:26Just let me think.
04:27A moment.
04:28Uh.
04:36Hello, Sarah, my darling.
04:38James!
04:39Who else?
04:40Celebration?
04:41Get two glasses.
04:41Oh, lovely.
04:42What are we celebrating?
04:43The fact that we've got a bottle of champagne.
04:44Oh, yes, sir.
04:45There's one other thing, too.
04:46How would you like to put on an exhibition?
04:49Uh, let's have a drink first.
04:52In a little restaurant just after Broadway.
04:54Broadway?
04:55Uh, Fulham Broadway.
04:57The Bond Street of the underprivileged.
04:59That's marvellous.
05:01Yes, I thought you'd be pleased.
05:03Cheers.
05:04Cheers.
05:06Here we are, then, gorgeous.
05:07I thought you might like a nice hot cup of tea.
05:12Oh, I'm sorry.
05:13I didn't know you had your dad with you.
05:15Um, this is, uh, James.
05:17Uh, Paul from the flat downstairs.
05:20How do you do?
05:21Hi.
05:22Paul's a painter, too.
05:23Oh, yeah, but I've never been hung.
05:25May the day come, still.
05:29Oh, Paul.
05:30Look, I don't want to stay if I'm intruding.
05:32Good man.
05:34Yeah.
05:38Cheerio, then.
05:39Yeah.
05:47Oh, where were we?
05:49I was about to thank you properly for fixing up this exhibition.
05:53Oh, how?
05:54By giving you one of my paintings.
05:55Oh.
05:56As well.
05:57Oh.
06:01So there's me uncle Sean, right?
06:03And he decides to take a bath.
06:05On account of it's the anniversary of the last time he took a bath.
06:08But what he doesn't know is, it's full of hot gene.
06:12Oh, powerful stuff.
06:13Well, he steps in and promptly pickles his lower parts.
06:19Fascinating, Albert.
06:19Aren't you a bit early tonight?
06:20Yeah, it's a cold day, sir.
06:22Well, there he is.
06:2476 last birthday with the legs of an 18-year-old.
06:28Well, I mean, I wish you wouldn't keep Albert chatting.
06:30He's got work to do.
06:31What?
06:31The sink's bunged up with tea leaves.
06:33No, I get them out, miss.
06:34Waste not, want not.
06:39I wonder what they're like.
06:40He didn't describe them, did he?
06:41Well, I don't know.
06:42Just like any other pair of legs, a bit pay the pants.
06:46Here we are, then.
06:47Oh, can I have a hand, please?
06:51Well, they ought to be good.
06:51They're heavy enough.
06:53Ah, I see you've cleared the walls.
06:55Friendly.
06:56There you go.
06:56That's a bit of a flash whistle, isn't it?
06:59Not at all.
07:00It's a bit sort of Joe Cool.
07:03It happens to be from Yves Saint Laurent's senior swinger, Ren.
07:07Oh.
07:10Ah, Victoria, I'm afraid you've got that one upside down, darling.
07:13Oh, sorry.
07:15Silly of me.
07:16That's fine.
07:18What's the artist like?
07:20Is he young or old?
07:21Oh, he's quite young.
07:22About your age.
07:23Well, when I say he, he is really more of a she.
07:28There's a couple more in the car, James.
07:30Ah, right.
07:31Yes.
07:32Now, this is Sarah.
07:34And this is Victoria.
07:36My daughter.
07:37And this is, um...
07:38Robin.
07:39Yes.
07:40Sarah is the artist.
07:41Oh, they're very nice.
07:44Um, what's this one called?
07:46Oh, that's a copy.
07:47Black square on black background.
07:49Oh.
07:50It's very lifelike.
07:51Yes, but you know, this one is my favourite.
07:54I may not know much about art, but you know what you like.
08:00Where's the hammer?
08:01I'll show you.
08:02Excuse us.
08:07Dirty old devil.
08:10Who would have thought, eh?
08:11Man of his age, knocking about with a bit of...
08:13Oh, it's most probably not like that at all.
08:14No, I'm sure it isn't.
08:15No, he's most probably interested in her mind.
08:18Yes.
08:19Yes, yeah.
08:20Dirty old devil.
08:22You haven't got a good word to say for my father.
08:24Oh, yes, I have, I have.
08:26No, it's most probably one of those rare and beautiful relationships
08:28that sort of spring up between a mature patron of the arts
08:31and a bit of crumpet.
08:34You think of nothing but sex.
08:35Oh, you get a lot of that at my age.
08:37What, sex?
08:39No, nothing.
08:42Anyway.
08:44Even if he is friendly with her,
08:47well, it's none of our business.
08:48He's divorced.
08:49You can't expect him to be like a monk.
08:50I should hope not.
08:52They're the worst of the lot.
08:54One of them got my Auntie Moira into trouble
08:57without even getting off his bicycle.
08:59That's right.
09:02Look, Vicky, I'm sorry about laughing at your father, right?
09:06Now, we'll go back in there.
09:08We'll help him hang up the paintings
09:10and we'll play it straight.
09:11All right?
09:12All right.
09:26What's the matter with him?
09:27Oh, nothing.
09:28He's, um...
09:29He has the hammer.
09:30Oh, thank you.
09:31Oh, by the way, darling,
09:32Sarah and I thought that we would have dinner here this evening.
09:35A little corner table for two,
09:37a decent bottle of wine.
09:38All right?
09:38I'm fine.
09:39Go on.
09:39Go on.
09:43Dirty old devil.
09:59Ah, yes.
10:00There's a lot to be said to the more mature wine.
10:03It's mellow.
10:04It has experience, sophistication.
10:07It's fruitier.
10:08Yes.
10:10Well, somehow.
10:11It has so much more to offer
10:14than the younger wines,
10:16wouldn't you agree?
10:16Oh, yes.
10:17Oh, good.
10:19Um...
10:20Pudding?
10:23No, thank you, darling.
10:24Just cheese, eh?
10:27Nice, mature Stilton.
10:29So much more rewarding
10:30than a bland young cheese.
10:32Oh, boy.
10:37They're holding hands out there.
10:39Oh, what?
10:39Oh, yes, ma'am.
10:40I swear he actually blew in her ear.
10:41He's most probably trying to cool his suit
10:43when she got in the way.
10:46It's so embarrassing.
10:47For me, I mean, at his age.
10:49Oh, age has nothing to do with it.
10:51An old gun may not have any bullets,
10:53but it still goes click.
11:18It's not so much me I'm thinking of.
11:20It's him.
11:22He's going to make a fool of himself if he...
11:26Robin, you're asleep.
11:27You're not listening to me.
11:29I'm listening.
11:30And I am asleep.
11:32Oh, he's twice our age.
11:33What can they have in common?
11:35Yeah.
11:37I'm not taking this seriously.
11:39Oh, you want to talk, right?
11:40Okay, we'll talk.
11:42Now, listen.
11:43Your dad is a man, right?
11:45And if he wasn't, he'd be your mum.
11:49Go back to sleep.
11:50Fine.
11:51We'll talk about it in the morning.
11:52Yeah, right.
11:55Do you think he's serious about it?
11:57Oh, it's morning already, is it?
12:00No, I mean really serious.
12:02I mean, do you think I should have a talk with him?
12:04No, you can't.
12:05You're his daughter.
12:06I mean, it'd be embarrassing.
12:07So you'll do it?
12:08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:10No, no, no.
12:12No, no.
12:12No.
12:14No, no.
12:16No.
12:43I mean, what am I supposed to say to you?
12:45Good morning, Mr. Nicholls. How are you? Are you getting your share?
12:49I'm not bothered if it's only sex.
12:50You can't put the word only in front of sex.
12:52I just want to know if...
12:53If he's serious about this, I know. I suppose he tells me to mind my own business and he punches
12:56me on the nose.
12:57You're not frightened of him just because he's got a few boxing cups?
13:00You didn't tell me that. I'm not going.
13:02He doesn't fight anymore. Not since he killed a man.
13:05What?
13:06I'm only joking.
13:07You have worked out your excuse, haven't you, for dropping in on him?
13:10Yes, I have. And although I say it myself, I think it's pretty convincing.
13:35Good morning, Mr. Nicholls.
13:37Yes.
13:38Yes.
13:39I remember you mentioning the other day about you leaving your umbrella behind, so I thought soon as I was
13:43in the same area, you know, I'd bring it round personally.
13:45So here it is.
13:49Mine was black.
13:50Was it?
13:51Ah, wasted journey. I've come all this way for nothing.
13:54Yes.
13:57Yes.
14:01Yeah.
14:02Um, is that the coffee I smell?
14:04Yes, it is.
14:06I thought so. It's got its own sort of distinctive smell.
14:09Yeah.
14:10It's called the coffee smell.
14:12Would you like a cup?
14:14Oh, no, I don't want to put you to any trouble at all.
14:16As you wish. Goodbye.
14:16Sorry, I would like some coffee. Thank you.
14:19Stay there and I'll bring it.
14:21Well, I was wondering if I could have a quick word with you.
14:23Oh, very well. Come in.
14:27Um, I'm not interrupting anything. I mean, you are on your own.
14:29Yes, yes. Apart from Suki, she's in the bedroom.
14:32Good grief.
14:33You are getting your share, aren't you? You've got Sarah in the evening. You've got Suki in the morning.
14:36I'll, um, Suki is my care.
14:38Oh, I see. Sorry.
14:42Well, I must say, this is a very, very nice area, isn't it?
14:45It's a nice, nice, nice flat and all the breakfast.
14:48Vicky and I had some of that this morning.
14:50Uh, not that. Um, the breakfast.
14:52Um, it's a lovely day, isn't it?
14:55Did you come round for a reason or just a cosy babble?
14:58Um, well, there was something I wanted to mention to you.
15:02Uh, we have, we've sold one of Sarah's paintings.
15:05I know. I bought it.
15:06Did you?
15:07Oh, yeah.
15:09It's funny you should mention Sarah.
15:11I didn't. You did.
15:12Did I?
15:13Oh, I thought I heard her name being mentioned.
15:16She's a nice girl.
15:18Yes.
15:19I mean, you know, some people might think that, well, you know, she's all right for a bit on the
15:23side, you know,
15:23but she's not the sort of, uh, person to sort of get involved with, seriously.
15:26And some people might get a punch on the nose.
15:29And they would well deserve it because I think that is a terrible thing to say.
15:32Yeah.
15:33It is.
15:35However, I don't mind admitting, even to you, that Sarah has brought a breath of fresh air into my life.
15:42And you can call me an old fool if you like.
15:46Go on.
15:48She bubbles and sparkles.
15:52Have you noticed that?
15:53Oh, yes.
15:54She makes me feel so young.
15:57She makes me feel that...
15:58Spring has sprung?
16:00Yeah.
16:03Yeah.
16:05Of course, there is a slight age difference between us.
16:07Oh, yes, yes, I know, but, I mean, well, it's not uncommon, is it?
16:12No.
16:13No, I mean, young girl.
16:16No.
16:16Elderly man.
16:17Well, not that elderly.
16:18I mean, you know, you dress young, you're very well preserved.
16:22You make me sound like a trendy gherkin.
16:25What?
16:26I didn't mean to be rude.
16:28Oh, this is a lovely cup of boxing.
16:30Coffee.
16:33Coffee.
16:34What you need to make them grow, you know, is a dollop of horse's blessing.
16:40Horses what?
16:41It's the only polite word I know for it.
16:44When I was a lad, all the village boys had followed the horses around with the shovel.
16:49Oh, there was a lot of skill involved.
16:51If you stood too far back, you wouldn't get any.
16:55And, of course, if you stood too near, you might get more than your bark.
17:02Right, well, I'll talk to him.
17:03The times I've had me wellies full.
17:06I should be seven foot six.
17:08Football.
17:09Albert, I think the library's open now.
17:11Oh, so it is.
17:12It's amazing how time flies when you're trying to catch a cup of tea.
17:16Yeah, so we'll see you later, Albert.
17:18Right, sir.
17:19I don't know.
17:20I'm casting pearls before Englishmen.
17:24Well, what did he say?
17:26Look, it's none of our business.
17:27He's over 21.
17:28Well, he's well over 21.
17:29That's the point.
17:30Is he serious about her?
17:32Yeah, I think he is.
17:32I mean, they're having dinner here again tonight.
17:34Well, what did she think of him?
17:36Well, I don't know.
17:36I haven't asked her.
17:37Not yet, you haven't.
17:38No, no, Pricky, no.
17:40No, no way.
17:43It's open.
17:46Hello, Robin Tripp from the restaurant.
17:48Oh, hi.
17:49Come in.
17:49Thanks.
17:51I was wondering if you'd left your umbrella at our place.
17:55No.
17:56Ah, wasted journey, then.
17:57Unless you'd like it.
17:59I mean, well, it's pretty rotten.
18:00Ah, no, thanks.
18:01Can you get them all the way around here just for that?
18:03Ah, yes.
18:04Well, no, no.
18:04It's, well, she's loving me with this.
18:06It's her umbrella.
18:07Ah, no, no.
18:08And it's not Mr. Nicholls, her father's, either.
18:12How did his name come into it?
18:14Ah, well, I thought I'd just sort of sling it in smoothly, you know.
18:17Because I wanted to talk to you about him and you, you know, how you feel about him.
18:22Is that any of your business?
18:24Ah, no, it's not.
18:25Fine, right, I will go.
18:26Just a minute.
18:26No, I'm embarrassed enough as it is, really.
18:28Do you mind?
18:29I'm trying to get some shit here.
18:31Oh, I'm sorry, sorry.
18:32Ah, this is Paul.
18:33He lives downstairs.
18:34Yes, of course, I can see that.
18:37Come on, get up, you lady, Harold.
18:39The train leaves at six and you haven't packed any of yours, though, yet?
18:41Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
18:50I'll let you into a little secret here.
18:52It's not my umbrella, either.
18:56Um, sorry, are you going away?
18:58I mean, it's none of my business.
18:59Oh, well, actually, it is.
19:00You'll need the address in case you sell any more of my paintings.
19:02Aye, look, look, I know it's not any of my business, but are you going away with him?
19:07Yes.
19:08Oh, I see, yeah.
19:09Well, I know it's none of my business, but where are you going?
19:12Where?
19:13Yes, where?
19:14Where?
19:15Where?
19:16Where?
19:17Oh, where?
19:17In Hertfordshire?
19:18Yes, Paul's got a cottage there.
19:19We're going to paint.
19:20I see.
19:21Look, I know it's none of my business.
19:22No, no, no, but I mean, how long are you going to sort of be away for?
19:25Three months, six months, I don't know.
19:27See how it goes.
19:28Oh, I see.
19:28Forgot my socks.
19:30Oh, there's one over there, one over there, and there's another one under the bed.
19:37Um, aren't you supposed to be having dinner with Mr. Nichols this evening?
19:41Oh, blast, I clean forgot.
19:43Um, I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business.
19:46Uh, but why have you got three socks?
19:50One for each foot.
19:52She was downing the other one.
19:54Oh, thank you.
19:55I'd have lain awake all night, would I?
19:56Well, I'd have to go to the other one.
19:59So, she rang him, but he wasn't in, so she asked me to tell him.
20:03Well, that's a bit of a liberty.
20:04Well, listen, you're a fine one to talk.
20:05I've been playing pig in the middle for you all day.
20:07Well, I think it's for the best.
20:09I mean, compare with her, he's an old man.
20:11Oh, thank you.
20:11Do you know, I was trying to find a way to sort of put it to him tactfully, and you've
20:14given me the words.
20:15You're an old man.
20:16Go home and rot.
20:18You're not that old.
20:20There's a van outside.
20:23Hey, it's our automatic dishwasher.
20:27The day before don't want pudding, they're having cheese.
20:30Hey, lovely.
20:32Do you think he'll take all our dishes?
20:34Well, seeing as Albert broke half of them, yes.
20:36Oh, lovely.
20:37When he sees this, he'll take the hint and go.
20:39Oh, I don't know.
20:39He's not that bright, you know.
20:41You think savocada vinaigrette plays for Real Madrid?
20:45It's ridiculous.
20:46Please transfer our seats.
20:51The cannon bear's very nice tonight.
20:54Hello, darling.
20:54Hello, Dad.
20:57Well, Sarah, not arrived yet?
20:59No.
21:00Oh, then I think I shall treat myself to a little sherry while I'm waiting.
21:03Okay.
21:07He's here.
21:08Go and tell him she's not coming.
21:09But why me?
21:10Because you saw her.
21:11You spoke to her.
21:12You know what she said.
21:13Now, go on.
21:13Be tactful.
21:21Evening, Miss Nichols.
21:23Ah, good evening.
21:27May I?
21:27Of course, yeah.
21:29Oh, well, it's a warm night.
21:33Well, it isn't here.
21:34I mean, it's cold outside.
21:35Well, it's probably a cold night.
21:36Ah, she's not coming, Mr. Nichols.
21:41What?
21:43Sarah.
21:44Well, you see, I went round to her place this afternoon.
21:47And, well, I suppose it's perfectly understandable that she should go for a younger fellow.
21:52And, do you mind unclenching your fist, Mr. Nichols, please?
21:58Are you trying to tell me something?
22:00Well, I thought I already had.
22:02No.
22:02Oh, well, Paul and Sarah.
22:05Paul?
22:06Paul, do you mean that young layabout from downstairs?
22:09Yes.
22:09You're clenching your fist again, Mr. Nichols.
22:11Um, they've gone away together.
22:14Where?
22:15Yes.
22:18What?
22:19No, where?
22:21In Hertfordshire.
22:22Uh, and, well, she's said to say that, uh, you know, the last few weeks it's been really nice.
22:27Uh, I was to tell you that.
22:28Oh, yeah, once she gave me, uh, this to give to you.
22:31Uh, uh, just, just a moment.
22:33What were you doing round at Sarah's?
22:35Ah, well, you see, I thought that this is, most probably it was her umbrella.
22:39Why?
22:40Well, it wasn't mine and it certainly isn't yours.
22:43Good evening, sir.
22:44I'm sorry I'm late.
22:45I, ah, you found it.
22:46I wondered where I'd left the thing.
22:48Thank you, sir.
22:53Well, that is one problem solved.
23:01I see.
23:03She's, uh, given you the big elbow, has she?
23:06Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that, but, uh, we weren't that close, you know, she and I.
23:12No, no, no, of course not.
23:13Oh, she wants me to have a painting of hers that I particularly admire.
23:18A sort of farewell gift, I suppose.
23:23Uh, it's that well up there.
23:26Uh, do you mind if I...
23:27No, no, please, please.
23:35Yes, well, I, uh, I shan't mistaken enough.
23:37I shall just go home and, uh...
23:40Well, you, you'll, uh, you'll explain to Victoria.
23:43Yes, yes, of course.
24:07Would you have been here well on time if I hadn't been thrown off the bus?
24:12Uh, one of them packy conductors.
24:14Uh, I think he'd cut his head.
24:15It was all bandaged up.
24:19I said to him, I said, I left a perfectly good piece of chewing gum under this seat yesterday,
24:24and it's not there now.
24:27Oh, Albert, um, Robin's got something to show you.
24:30Have I?
24:31Oh, yes, uh, Albert, Albert, come here.
24:35Now, Albert, we had this installed today.
24:39Ah, isn't that lovely?
24:40What is it?
24:42It's an automatic dishwasher.
24:45Ah, you shouldn't have done it, sir.
24:48Still, it'll, it'll make me job a lot easier.
24:51I could do with a hand.
24:53I suppose I just slot the place in here.
24:57Oops.
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