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TVTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Honey, I'm home.
01:01Open up.
01:02Uh-uh.
01:03Come on.
01:04Uh-uh.
01:05I know your mouth hurts.
01:07It's because your teeth are coming in.
01:09Mine are going out.
01:11It's a cycle of life.
01:12A beautiful thing.
01:14Now eat this or I'll kill you.
01:17Now, was that so bad?
01:26Hi, Mom.
01:27Does his mouth still hurt?
01:30He's working through it, but we're running out of spoons.
01:33Aw, I know it hurts when you're teething, but Mommy brought you some num gum to make it all better.
01:40Open your mouth.
01:49Hey.
01:51Mama make me all better.
01:53Mommy make more...
01:54Beep.
01:56More...
01:57Beep.
01:58It makes his whole mouth numb.
02:01Oh, isn't that precious?
02:03He's drooling just like his father.
02:06I don't know.
02:07Maybe Earl and I shouldn't go out to dinner tonight.
02:10You go out.
02:11Have a wonderful time.
02:12Who knows?
02:13Maybe you'll meet somebody.
02:15I'm going out with Earl.
02:17Doesn't mean you have to come back with him.
02:27Hello, honey.
02:31Hi, Daddy.
02:33Oh, hi, Charlene.
02:33Can I have ten dollars?
02:35No, absolutely not.
02:36What do you want it for?
02:38Um, college?
02:41Okay, not college.
02:43But it's education related.
02:44I need to accessorize my gym outfit.
02:46It just doesn't say me yet.
02:49Charlene, this thing is a dollar.
02:52Do you have any idea what the value of a dollar is?
02:55A dollar?
02:57Okay, technically you're right.
02:58But it's a lot more complicated when you have to earn that dollar.
03:02I remember the first dollar I ever earned.
03:04What a weak dad was.
03:05Hey, Dad, can I have ten dollars?
03:07Certainly, son.
03:08Here you go.
03:09Hey!
03:09Problem, sis?
03:11Yeah.
03:11How come you get money and I don't?
03:14Because I earned it.
03:14Hey, I cut the grass.
03:16I took out the trash.
03:17I listen to Dad talk about the old days.
03:19And your brother is older than you.
03:20He knows the value of money and how to spend it wisely.
03:24Go on, son.
03:24Tell your sister the responsible plans you have for this money.
03:27Oh, well.
03:28Me and Spike are gonna hang out at Goofy Golf and try to pick up girls.
03:32Godspeed, son.
03:33Thanks.
03:36This is so unfair.
03:38Good kids.
03:40Oh.
03:41Honey, your mouth feel good?
03:43Bleepy mouth.
03:44Bleep I say.
03:45Well, Grandma will give you dinner later.
03:48Mommy and Daddy are going out tonight.
03:49Franny, tell me honestly.
03:51If some guy, out of the blue, calls up somebody my age and asks her out on a date, you
03:57think she should go?
03:58Of course, Mom.
03:59See ya.
04:01Don't you roll away from me.
04:03You're babysitting tonight.
04:05Mama Bleepy.
04:06Mama Bleepy.
04:08Franny, when was the last time I spent an evening alone with a consenting male?
04:12I can't remember.
04:14Neither can I.
04:15Good night.
04:16Uh, uh.
04:18Mom?
04:18I can do it.
04:19Oh, let me do it.
04:20Let me do it.
04:22I'm responsible.
04:23Some family members think I'm not responsible, but I am.
04:26Pay me and I'll show you.
04:27I appreciate your enthusiasm, but Robbie's older, he'll stay with the baby.
04:32Why does he always get to be the older one?
04:35Ugh.
04:36Oh, Daddy.
04:37Daddy, Grandma can't babysit tonight.
04:41Let me.
04:42This way I could earn some money.
04:44You in charge of a baby?
04:45Yeah.
04:45That's a good idea.
04:47Why don't we just hand him over to scavengers?
04:49Ugh.
04:49Daddy.
04:50This is an infant, Charlene.
04:52He's vulnerable.
04:53He's helpless.
04:54Look at him.
04:55Such a sweet little thing.
04:58Don't pinch his cheek.
05:11I think the num gum wore off.
05:14What was your first clue, Fred?
05:21Dad, please don't make me babysit.
05:24It's so humiliating.
05:26How am I going to hold my head up at Goofy Golf?
05:28Oh.
05:29Robbie, you're getting two bucks an hour.
05:31Now quit your griping.
05:32Come on, friend.
05:35All righty.
05:37We're late for our romantic evening.
05:39Get the lead out.
05:40All right, all right.
05:42Just one last squirt before we go.
05:49Oh, I love you too.
05:53Robbie, we won't be late.
05:55I wrote down the number of the restaurant.
05:57Don't you dare call.
05:58Yes, Dad.
05:59We'll be back at 11.
06:00Will you come on?
06:01You know where the first aid kid is,
06:03and don't let any predators into the house.
06:05Out, out, out.
06:06The boy is completely capable.
06:08I have the utmost confidence in him.
06:10He would never betray our trust.
06:14Bye.
06:18Okay, here's the deal.
06:20I'm cutting out.
06:21You watch the kid.
06:22What?
06:23Hey, if they think I'm babysitting on a Friday night,
06:26they're crazy.
06:27Who gets the cash?
06:29I do.
06:30Hey, I'm taking a big risk leaving you in charge here,
06:32but I'm looking out for you.
06:33You get all the glory.
06:35What glory?
06:35I'll tell Mom and Dad I got real sick
06:38and you took over for me.
06:39You were responsible all over the place.
06:41Bang!
06:41Your babysitting career is off and running.
06:43You're a star.
06:44Then I want half the cash.
06:46You are vicious.
06:47Ooh, how do you live with yourself?
06:49Oh, is that the sound of ladies' night at Goofy Golf?
06:52Oh, Robbie, we're holding our clubs wrong.
06:55We're cute.
06:56Please come and help us.
06:57All right.
06:58All right, half.
06:59But please don't screw this up.
07:01Okay.
07:03Yes!
07:05Okay, Junior.
07:07It's just you and me.
07:09Hmm.
07:10Don't play games with me.
07:13Ow!
07:14Ow!
07:17Major Locke!
07:19You come down here this instant.
07:21Okay!
07:22Wee!
07:23Oh!
07:24Hmm.
07:25Again!
07:26Well, aren't you the cutest little thing?
07:31Then Goldilocks took a bite of the second one, but its flesh was too soft.
07:36Then she took a bite of the itsy bitsy baby one, and its flesh was just right.
07:41So she ate them all up.
07:43Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
07:45Now isn't this fun?
07:46Let me go!
07:47Oh, don't get up.
07:49I'll get it.
07:50Oh, la la la la.
07:52Whaa!
07:54Whaa!
07:54Whaa!
07:55Whaa!
07:55Whaa!
07:55Whaa!
07:56Whaa!
07:57Hello?
07:58Oh, hi Mindy.
07:59No, I'm not too busy.
08:01You're kidding!
08:03Oh, I'm one of your every detail.
08:05Whaa!
08:06Whaa!
08:06Whaa!
08:06Whaa!
08:07Whaa!
08:07Whaa!
08:07Whaa!
08:13Whaa!
08:13Whaa!
08:14Franny?
08:15What is wrong?
08:16Aren't you hungry?
08:17Your appetizer is getting cold.
08:19Whaa!
08:20I was just thinking about mom not being there and the kids all by themselves.
08:25No!
08:25No kids!
08:26This is supposed to be an evening of love.
08:28Can't we just pretend they're dead?
08:30Whaa!
08:31Please?
08:32I'll make one quick phone call.
08:34Then I'm all yours, big boy.
08:37Whaa!
08:38Whaa!
08:39Females.
08:40They can't help worrying.
08:43Yeah.
08:43I'm kinda worried myself.
08:45Heh.
08:46So Brad goes, no way.
08:47And I'm like, yes way.
08:48And then Cindy goes, Brad's right.
08:50I go, Cindy, I don't remember asking you.
08:52Then she throws me all this attitude like, oh, you hurt my feelings.
08:56It's...
08:56Oh.
08:57Oh, that, that's nothing.
08:58Just my stupid baby brother.
09:00You know, feed me, change me, untie me.
09:03Anyway, I'm standing in the hall and I am talking to Cindy and Brad.
09:07I really want Cindy to disappear, but like you know her, she just stands around forever.
09:11So I'm trying to have a special conversation with Brad.
09:15And...
09:15We've been totally...
09:16Forgot.
09:17Can't walk.
09:24Hello, little fellow.
09:27Who's that?
09:28A friend.
09:30In the refrigerator.
09:33I've got lots of surprises for you.
09:37That's it.
09:38What a clever little fellow.
09:40Now open the door so we can play.
09:44Uh-uh.
09:46Please?
09:47Uh-uh.
09:48Open it.
09:49Mama said don't talk the fridge.
09:51I'll give you a present.
09:53Okay.
09:54Excellent.
09:59Whoa!
10:02Carole hunter!
10:04He's alright!
10:05He-he-he!
10:07He-he!
10:08He-he!
10:08He-he-he!
10:09Ha-ha!
10:09Ha-ha!
10:09Ha-ha!
10:10Ha-ha-ha!
10:13So, Cindy was wrong again.
10:15She's like a total liar!
10:17I don't know why Brad likes her.
10:21It's my adorable little brother again
10:23This won't take long
10:24Hold on
10:27Okay, you little pink pest
10:28How many times have I got
10:30What?
10:32Did you?
10:33Oh, like I need this now
10:36I'm not cleaning this up
10:39Kids
10:40I wish I were an only child
10:44Mindy, I gotta go
10:46I gotta go kill my baby brother
10:53Mindy, I gotta go
10:54But we're here
10:56Charlene
11:03What's that line?
11:08Hello?
11:09Charlene, is everything okay?
11:11The line was busy
11:12Oh, Mom, yeah
11:14Robbie's babysitting and I'm not
11:16And, uh, everything's fine
11:20What's that noise?
11:21Do you have friends over?
11:23No, uh, just the TV
11:29So, you guys coming home soon?
11:32Not for a while
11:33How's your little brother?
11:35Um, fine
11:38Well, as long as everything's okay
11:40We'll see you soon
11:41Bye, honey
11:42Bye, Mom
11:43Uh, Mom
11:44I love you
11:46Oh, oh
11:49Oh, oh
11:51Oh, Charlene
11:52So good of you
11:54To come to our little
11:58Party
12:10So, Charlene
12:11We meet again
12:13We do?
12:14Don't play the fool with me
12:16In the Christmas section
12:18They call me Chow
12:20Chow the Merciless
12:23But you know me
12:26As Chow the Delicious
12:29That was your hand?
12:31Oh, you're from the refrigerator, am I right?
12:34How astute
12:35I trust my cabbage needs no introduction
12:38Um, uh, no
12:40Of course not
12:41We are the survivors of your family's incessant eating
12:45I'm trying to cut down
12:46Hey, I only ate
12:48Do you know what it's like in there?
12:50I spent four months in the cheese bin
12:53Crouched behind a wedge of Gouda
12:56Never knowing when the refrigerator light would come on
12:59Light
13:00Light
13:00Oh
13:02You're spoiled
13:03You've gone rotten
13:05Silence
13:06Oops
13:06We have your baby brother
13:10What?
13:11Unless you do what we say
13:13You'll never see him again
13:15What do you think of that?
13:17You're just food
13:19I eat guys like you for lunch
13:22Do not toy with me, Charlie
13:24We are desperate
13:25And ruthless
13:26And know not the meaning of fear
13:34Boo
13:35Robbie?
13:37Duh
13:37How's the kid?
13:38The food
13:39The food got him
13:40He got out of the refrigerator
13:42Then there was this big noise
13:43And then the lights went out
13:44And the phone went out
13:45And then a voice on the phone
13:46And then the food was laughing at me
13:47And Chow
13:48And then the cabbage
13:49And they took the baby
13:50Oh, how could you do this to me?
13:53Mom and dad left me in charge
13:55You think this means we won't get paid?
13:57Paid!
13:58What?
13:58We're gonna get killed
13:59Mom and dad really like the baby
14:01It's not my fault
14:02Oh, oh, it's my fault?
14:04You left me in charge
14:06What were you thinking?
14:07I was thinking
14:09Maybe I could leave the house for an hour
14:11And not come back
14:12To find the baby kidnapped
14:13By crazed leftovers
14:15Okay, we gotta find him
14:16Okay, let's split up
14:18And search the house
14:19All right
14:20But whoever finds him
14:21Gets all the babysitting money
14:23Deal
14:23All right
14:36I can find you
14:37Are you there?
14:39Are you there?
14:46Three, two, one
14:48Timber!
14:54Robby, it's me, Charlene
14:59Help me!
15:02Charlene, are you okay?
15:05Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
15:14The kids are fine
15:15If they're not, we can make more
15:17Just enjoy yourself
15:18Oh, you're right, Earl
15:20I know you're right
15:21It's just my female intuition
15:24Franny, please
15:25Could you just for one evening
15:27Forget you're a female
15:28So I can get romantic with you?
15:29Oh
15:33Why, after dinner
15:34I was even thinking
15:36That we could
15:39Brush everything
15:41Earl, you animal
15:45There's something wrong with my mouth
15:47Huh?
15:48Dine
15:51Brum sum
15:53Is monsieur ready to order?
15:56Please, will you call me a doctor?
15:58Ah, yes, it is
16:00Excellent tonight
16:01Thank you
16:02Thank you
16:04Well, this is a pretty picture, isn't it, Cammy?
16:07How do they look to you?
16:09Delicious
16:11Come here, come here
16:14Down, Cammy, down, down
16:16Not yet
16:18So, Charlene
16:19How does it feel to be on the other side of the foot?
16:24Ow
16:25You'll never get away with this
16:26You'll never get away with this
16:27You rancid, half-eaten piece of
16:29Silence
16:30Now, if you wish to see your baby brother alive again
16:34You must satisfy the following demands
16:37First, we want jogging outfits
16:39Yeah
16:40No cheap knock-offs
16:41Design and names
16:42Second, a comprehensive dental plan
16:45No deductible
16:45We want to pick our own doctor
16:47Yes
16:47And third, we want 40 million helicopters and a dollar
16:51Huh?
16:52What?
16:54What?
16:57Oh, thank you
16:59I stand corrected
17:0040 million dollars and a helicopter
17:03It says that the effects should wear off in about an hour or so
17:06I wanted to be such a special evening for us
17:10I know, dear
17:13Let's just get the check and go home
17:15I can't stop worrying about the kids anyway
17:19Hey
17:20Monsieur, your gun is coming to the doctor
17:25Ooh
17:26Hey, hey, hey
17:30That is not right
17:31And lastly
17:32We want our own Saturday morning cartoon show
17:35With full creative control
17:36So, those are our demands
17:38Will you meet them?
17:40Okay
17:40We'll meet them
17:42What?
17:44You will?
17:45That was easy
17:46Yeah
17:46And you said they could not be reasoned with, Caddy
17:49But we're not bringing you any of it
17:51Until you bring us the baby
17:52Ah
17:53The negotiation has begun
17:55Good
17:55This is the part I love
17:57The give
17:57The take
17:58The quid pro quo
17:59Yes
18:00So
18:01You have made your opening gambit
18:03And it was
18:06What?
18:07The baby
18:08Ah, yes, the baby
18:09Very, very shrewd
18:10Fine, done, good
18:12Bring the brat to me
18:14What are you doing?
18:16We don't have any of that stuff
18:17Trust me
18:18Oh, trust you
18:19Like I trusted you to babysit
18:20Look
18:21I got us into this
18:22I'll get us out of this
18:23Oh, yeah, right
18:25All right, then
18:26Stop this clandestine chatter
18:28Junior
18:29Oh, are you okay?
18:31We have a food
18:32As you see
18:34We have fulfilled
18:35Our side of the bargain
18:36Now you will have
18:3730 seconds
18:38To fulfill your side
18:40Or else
18:41I will feed you to
18:42Cabbie
18:43Now surely
18:44Good bread
18:47Cabbie
18:48Take yourself
18:53Cabbie
18:54You killed my cabbie
19:10Cabbie
19:11Charlene
19:12I'd be willing to listen
19:13To any suggestions
19:13You might have
19:14General Chow
19:16I think you should
19:17Eat the baby first
19:18What?
19:19Huh?
19:20Hmm
19:20That's your suggestion?
19:22Well, look at him
19:23He's so plump and tender
19:25Just feel those juicy
19:26Little cheeks
19:28They do look rather tempting
19:29Go ahead
19:31Give them
19:31A really good hard pinch
19:34Oh
19:36Okay
19:39Morning
19:57Keep him away from me
20:15You're a much more cunning opponent
20:17Than I could have imagined, Charlene
20:18Thank you
20:19No wonder your parents
20:20Trust you to guard their home
20:23Unfortunately
20:24I could not have anticipated
20:25Your secret weapon
20:28Keep him back
20:29Try to warn you
20:30I'm sorry about your friend
20:33The, uh, the lettuce
20:34He was no lettuce
20:35He was a cabbage
20:37We shall not soon
20:38See his like again
20:42Oh
20:47Thank you, Cupcake
20:48All right, men
20:51Back to the fridge
20:58Do not think
20:59You have seen the last of me
21:02Old food never dies
21:04It just goes bad
21:16Okay
21:16Now mom and dad are gonna be home any minute
21:19I don't want to hear a word out of you
21:20About any of this
21:21Pay me
21:22No
21:24Deal
21:27Huh
21:27Female intuition
21:30Everything looks just fine
21:31To my not intuitive male eyes
21:33It's the mama
21:34There, there
21:35How is mommy's little angel
21:37Are you hungry?
21:38No more food
21:39Son
21:40Here is your well-earned babysitting money
21:43My responsible eldest child
21:45Oh, uh, thanks dad
21:46Gee, Rob, look, two fives
21:49That could be one for you
21:50And one for your sister
21:52Who basically pulled your butt out of the fire
21:54Yeah
21:56Somebody want to explain what went on?
21:58I, I wasn't feeling too good
21:59And Charlene here kind of took over for me
22:02And did all the babysitting
22:03And handled it real well
22:05And we should trust her from now on
22:06And she's the best
22:07Maybe you are ready for more responsibility
22:10She's growing up, isn't she, Earl?
22:12Gee, I guess my little girl has matured
22:15Yeah
22:15This is a genuine family milestone
22:19Yeah
22:19I'm going to bed
22:21But, dad
22:23So, Robby, are you still feeling sick?
22:25Uh, well, no, mom, I, uh
22:27He just had some food that didn't agree with him
22:30Uh, that's it
22:32Yeah
22:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:42ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
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