- 1 day ago
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00:28Don't put you there.
00:30Take it easy.
00:33Come in.
00:35Have you been all right, Mr Martin?
00:37I'm rather busy at the moment, Gavin.
00:39Is it important?
00:40You said we had a management meeting.
00:41Ten o'clock?
00:42I'd better postpone that, I'm afraid.
00:43I should be tied up most of the day
00:45with these life management counselling sessions.
00:47Oh, right.
00:49Gavin, can I trouble you to get the intercom, please?
00:51Intercom?
00:52Over by the window.
00:53Right, Mr British.
00:59There we are.
01:02Julie, can we have a cup of tea for Susie, please?
01:05One of the yellow pills, I think.
01:07Does she want sugar?
01:09She'll take it just as it comes.
01:12Gabby, Carol's next.
01:13Tell her to come straight up
01:14and ensure someone suitable takes over at the desk.
01:17Yes, Mr Prince.
01:17You sure there's nothing, um...
01:19No.
01:19No, right.
01:23We exchange ideas in this centre.
01:25We do not bite.
01:28There's a good little girl.
01:29Now, you have a nice sleep.
01:30Mummy, see you later.
01:32Oh, Colin, how kind.
01:34It's this one here.
01:35Sorry?
01:35It seems to be getting stuck at the top
01:37and I have to bang it shut
01:38and it tends to disturb little Jessica
01:39when she's trying to sleep.
01:40I was going to mend that draw for you, wasn't I, Carol?
01:42I thought that's why you have the toolbox.
01:44Oh, no, this isn't my toolbox.
01:46This is dog business.
01:48First job of the morning, there I am out on that field
01:50collecting all the little messages
01:52that have been left since last night.
01:54Though some of the messages aren't so little,
01:56let me tell you.
01:57Just feel the weight of that.
02:00I used to collect them up in a couple of polythene bags
02:02but Mr. Britton said
02:03not everyone wants to see that sort of thing
02:05carried through the canteen.
02:07No.
02:08So now I use this,
02:10looks a lot more official, don't you think?
02:13I'll be back to mend that draw
02:14just as soon as I've got rid of this lot downstairs.
02:17Carol, Mr. Britton's ready to see you now.
02:19Oh, goodness, already.
02:20Yes, don't worry.
02:21I'll get someone to take over reception for you.
02:22Any problems?
02:23No, I don't think so.
02:24Jessica's asleep.
02:25Jack and Ben are playing in the cupboard.
02:26Oh, could you tell whoever comes
02:28to put some of this on Jessica's box
02:29if she starts scratching?
02:30What?
02:31She's not over the chicken pox,
02:32poor little thing.
02:33Hello, hello.
02:34Hello.
02:35Now, the buns are due out of the oven at 20 past,
02:37oven gloves in the lost property drawer,
02:39and if you could put them to cool on this.
02:41Oh, I forgot.
02:42If I'm not back by the time the TV repairman calls,
02:45could you tell him it's the horizontal hold
02:46on Ben's television?
02:48You don't know what Mr. Britton just wants to see me for,
02:50do you, Gavin?
02:50Perhaps he thinks he needs some help back here, Carol,
02:52like an au pair.
02:53Oh, yes, well, that'd be well.
02:55Gavin.
02:59Tim, could you man reception for me
03:01until Carol gets back, please?
03:02Me?
03:02Yeah, she's had to go up and see Britton.
03:04Oh, does it have to be me?
03:05Well, you're not doing anything.
03:06Since when I was reading a book,
03:07been not doing anything.
03:08Tim, could you just get out of here, please?
03:10Oh, of course, it's today, isn't it?
03:12What?
03:12He decides whether you get to be full deputy manager,
03:14doesn't he?
03:15Tim, Mr. Britton has asked me to ensure
03:17that somebody suits me.
03:18Oh, you don't even know you're doing it, do you?
03:19Doing what?
03:20Mr. Britton has asked me to ensure.
03:22Tim, are you going to get out here or not?
03:24Now, let me see.
03:25The choice is either rushing around
03:27to make you look good in front of Britton
03:29or fritting away another ten minutes
03:30with Princess Di.
03:31I think I'll stick with the book.
03:33Well, thank you.
03:36Linda?
03:37Yes, Gavin?
03:37Why are you manning the desk?
03:39Well, Laura was a bit worried
03:40because there was no one here.
03:41She asked me to do it.
03:42Is anything wrong?
03:43Well, it's just that Mr. Britton
03:44has asked me to look into that particular problem.
03:46Oh, I'll go if you like.
03:46No, no, no, it's not important.
03:48If we all go around duplicating each other's jobs,
03:50it does make one wonder
03:50what the point of having a management structure is.
03:53Yes.
03:56Do you want to see me, Mr. Britton?
03:57Sit down, please, Carol.
03:58Oh, thank you.
03:59I've just put this here on your desk.
04:01Jessica's still a little bit poorly, you know, and...
04:03Sorry.
04:04Now, Carol, I have here the results
04:06of the compulsory staph urine test for drugs.
04:10It's all right, darling. Mummy's here.
04:12See you soon. Go back to sleep.
04:15What's your saying?
04:17I was saying, Carol,
04:18that I have here the results
04:20of the compulsory staph urine test for drugs.
04:22Oh, yes.
04:23And they reveal that once again you are pregnant.
04:28Julie, can you have another cup of tea for Carol, please?
04:31And some more of the yellow pills.
04:33Right, here we are.
04:38Where am I?
04:39You're in my office, Carol,
04:41and I've just informed you that you're pregnant.
04:44Stick with it, Carol.
04:47Pregnant, but I can't be.
04:48I seem to remember that's what you said last time, Carol.
04:51I take it you don't know who the father is.
04:53You don't understand, Mr. Britton.
04:55I can't be pregnant, because I haven't...
04:57I know I haven't.
04:58I had to remember.
05:00We've been here before, haven't we, Carol?
05:02Yes, but I knew something that happened last time, Mr. Britton.
05:05This time, honestly, I can't remember anything.
05:07My wife assures me that can sometimes be the case.
05:11Let's see if we can refresh your memory, shall we?
05:13Now, your last staph urine test,
05:14which showed you as normal,
05:16was on the 17th of last month.
05:17This one was ten days ago,
05:20which means that whatever happens,
05:22happens over the Easter period.
05:24Were you doing anything unusual over Easter?
05:27No.
05:28No, I was staying with a friend.
05:30Yes?
05:31Well, he isn't anyone who would...
05:32I mean, we only...
05:33It was a male friend, was it?
05:35Yes, as I said...
05:37Oh, goodness.
05:38Yes?
05:39I've just thought.
05:40I was unconscious for a good deal of the time.
05:45How long, exactly, Carol?
05:47I think the ambulance people thought about three days.
05:51Here we are.
05:53Thank you, Julie.
05:54Oh, and, er, would you like some biscuits?
05:56Biscuits?
05:56I've got some this morning, in case.
05:58Thank you, Julie.
05:59That'd be very nice.
06:01Julie?
06:02Yeah?
06:03Everything all right, is it?
06:04Yeah, fine.
06:05Why'd you ask?
06:06It's just you seem rather...
06:08Never mind.
06:12Now, Carol, let's start at the beginning, shall we?
06:15Who was this man you were unconscious with over Easter?
06:19Oh, Laura, there you are.
06:20Morning, Helen.
06:21Coffee?
06:22Do you know where I can find Susie?
06:23I think she's gone home.
06:25Already?
06:25Yes, unfortunately, she got involved in another fight.
06:29Mr Quittus had to call her brother from the dog handling unit
06:31to go away in his van.
06:33You don't happen to know what set her off this time, do you?
06:35Well, I think it started when Mr Quittus told her she was pregnant.
06:39Oh, God, I knew it.
06:41What's the matter, Helen?
06:42It wasn't her sample, Laura.
06:45What?
06:46The urine test.
06:47It wasn't her sample.
06:48It was mine.
06:50Yours?
06:50How?
06:51I know I shouldn't have done it,
06:53but she was worried those bodybuilding drugs would show up in her test,
06:56so I just did it for her.
06:59So, she's not pregnant, but...
07:04Well, congratulations.
07:06Thanks.
07:07Mr Quittus will be pleased.
07:09He's always saying how much he'd like another child.
07:11Maybe it'll be twins again.
07:12Laura, please.
07:14You don't think there could have been some sort of mistake, do you?
07:16At the lab?
07:17It's possible.
07:19I'll go and tell Gordon to check.
07:22Colin?
07:24You're saying the father of your child is Colin?
07:28I didn't know it was him, Mr Quittus.
07:29As I said, I was unconscious for a good deal of the time.
07:36Jessica, Mummy's rather busy at the moment.
07:37You'll just have to wait.
07:40What am I going to do, Mr Quittus?
07:42Well, that's not a very easy question, Carol.
07:44I suppose I could double up on lost property.
07:45What?
07:46Well, if I move the lost property to the drawer on the right,
07:49that would leave the middle drawer free.
07:50Carol, you cannot go on filling the drawers of reception
07:53with illegitimate children.
07:55No, Mr Quittus.
07:56We have to face the moral issue here, Carol.
08:01Julie, tell me where I'd find Colin at the moment, please.
08:04Oh, he'll be down in his little room.
08:07Do you want me to bring him up?
08:10You're offering to go down and get him?
08:12If you like.
08:14Julie, are you taking some form of medication?
08:18Gordon, I need to know about Susie.
08:20I'm rather tied up at the moment, my darling.
08:22Is it true she's pregnant?
08:23My darling, that's confidential information.
08:24Gordon!
08:27Yes, I believe she is.
08:29Well, I think you ought to check.
08:30There might have been some sort of mistake.
08:32I rang the lab, my darling.
08:33It's definite, I'm afraid.
08:35Oh, God.
08:36Yes, if only I'd been here,
08:38I might have been able to prevent it.
08:40What?
08:41It was Easter, you see.
08:42If you remember, I was away in Brussels.
08:44What's Brussels got to do with it?
08:45That's when all the dates go back to, my darling.
08:48That's when whatever happened must have happened.
08:50Were you worried?
08:53What?
08:54Were you worried about Susie?
08:56Oh.
08:57No, it's just...
08:59nothing.
09:00Some other tone.
09:01If you see Linda, my darling,
09:03would you tell her I might be a bit delayed?
09:05What?
09:05Tell her to come straight up to the office
09:07and I'll be back as soon as I can, all right?
09:09Right.
09:10Come on, Carol.
09:11Where are we going, Miss Briss?
09:12Well, you are going to have a sit-down in the canteen
09:14while I go and have a chat with Master Colin.
09:17What are you going to say to him, Miss Briss?
09:19There's only one thing to say, Carol.
09:21As the father of your child,
09:23he has to accept the consequences of his actions.
09:26He has to marry you.
09:29Yes.
09:30So you see what I mean, Linda?
09:31There's a sort of principle at stake here.
09:33Yes, Govan.
09:34If one person's in charge,
09:35then all the rest of us know where we are.
09:37Yes, Gavin.
09:38So the next time somebody asks you
09:40whether you're on or off the desk,
09:42I think it might be helpful if you said something like,
09:44I think Gavin's in charge of reception today.
09:46I'd better clear it with Gavin first.
09:48Something like that, eh?
09:48Right.
09:49Linda, Gordon wants to see you in his office.
09:51I'll look after the desk for you.
09:52Oh, thanks, Mrs Briss.
09:53Mrs Briss, I...
09:54Oh, don't worry, Gavin.
09:55Any idiot can man a desk for five minutes.
09:57I want to use the phone, anyway.
09:58Yes, but, Mrs Briss,
09:59technically you're not a member of staff
10:00and Mr Briss has always been very insistent
10:02that only staff members make you...
10:04Hello, it's me.
10:06This is going to be private call.
10:08Sorry.
10:17Oh, Mr Briss!
10:24A word, if I may, Colin.
10:26Always time for a chat with you, Mr Briss.
10:28I'll get to your seat.
10:33Fire ahead, Mr Briss.
10:37I've just been talking to Carol, Colin.
10:40Oh, yes?
10:41I'm afraid I had to give her some rather disturbing news.
10:44Oh, dear.
10:45Yes, I had to inform her that apparently
10:47she's expecting another child.
10:49My word, another one.
10:51How does she do it?
10:52Well, she doesn't do it on her own, Colin.
10:54No, of course.
10:56I questioned her rather carefully
10:58and it seems that on this occasion
11:00she does at least know who the father is.
11:02Oh, good.
11:03She says it's you.
11:05Me?
11:07Conception took place over the Easter period
11:10when I gather she was staying with you,
11:12alone in your house.
11:14So you mean Carol and I...
11:16We...
11:18Are you quite sure about this, Mr Briss?
11:20You don't remember it either.
11:22I remember very little about Easter, Mr Briss.
11:24If you recall,
11:25that was the week when the chemical waste deposits
11:28on which my house is unfortunately built
11:29combined together to produce a cocktail
11:32of hallucinogenic gases
11:33which rendered Carol myself unconscious.
11:36I hope you're not going to try
11:37and wriggle out of this one, Colin.
11:39I'm not exactly wriggling, Mr Briss.
11:41That girl is expecting your child.
11:44The only honourable course of action you have open,
11:47as I see it, is to marry her.
11:49Marry?
11:49Unless you have a better idea.
11:51My word, this is turning into a morning of surprises.
11:56Well?
11:57I'm not saying I won't, Mr Briss.
11:59It's just...
12:01Well, I have other commitments.
12:03Relationships.
12:04You mean the milkman?
12:06My relationship with Pauline,
12:08while not being as physical as the one
12:10that I apparently have had with Carol,
12:12we have grown to mean a great deal to each other.
12:15Colin, you cannot let Carol down on this one.
12:18No, if I'm responsible,
12:20there's no question of that, Mr Briss.
12:22I'll stand by her.
12:24Good.
12:25Good.
12:25I'll send her down
12:26and you can sort out the details between you.
12:29Well done, Colin.
12:30Good man.
12:31I think you'll find you've made the right...
12:38How did he take it?
12:40What?
12:40Mr Briss, how did he take the news?
12:42Oh, I haven't told him yet.
12:43It's a bit more complicated than I thought.
12:45Is it?
12:46Well, apparently he was in Brussels when it happened.
12:49Oh.
12:49I've rung John.
12:50He's the other obvious possibility,
12:51but he says it can't be him.
12:53It's something to do with a school trip to Windscale in 1971.
12:58I've been sitting here racking my brains to think who else it could be.
13:02I'm just nipping outside for a bit, if that's all right.
13:05OK, Julie.
13:06Now, I would have asked Mr Briss for permission,
13:08but I don't like to interrupt him, not when he's busy.
13:11No.
13:13What's wrong with her?
13:14What?
13:15Julie, she's never called him Mr Briss before.
13:17I think I'll just go into town and go to the chemist,
13:19get one of those kits just to check again.
13:21Would you mind doing the desk?
13:22No, no, of course not.
13:23You might see what Julie's doing while you're out there.
13:25Oh, she looks perfectly happy to me.
13:27What's she up to?
13:27She's sitting in a Range Rover with a man.
13:30Quite a good-looking man, actually.
13:32Pregnant?
13:34That's what the tests show, Linda.
13:35Me?
13:37Pregnant?
13:37No question of doubt.
13:39It's down here in black and white.
13:40Oh, I don't mind what colour it is.
13:42As long as it's a baby.
13:45Pregnant.
13:46Gosh.
13:47I take it this comes as something of a surprise, Linda.
13:49It does, rather.
13:50We only decided to start trying last Friday.
13:54That's when Edward retired.
13:56Edward the headmaster?
13:57That's right.
13:58Now he's 65, we thought,
14:00what better time to start a family
14:01than when he's home to help look after them?
14:04Yes, well, I suppose it's something
14:05that you actually know who the father is.
14:08The big question, of course,
14:09is how long can you carry on with the trampoline training?
14:15Have you heard about Colin and Carol?
14:16No.
14:17I've just been talking to her in the canteen.
14:18She's going to marry Colin.
14:19Oh, come off it, Tim.
14:21It's true.
14:21She's actually looking forward to it.
14:23She says it's the answer to all her prayers, in a way.
14:25What way is that, exactly?
14:26Well, deep down,
14:27she's always wanted to be a simple housewife.
14:29And Colin's got a house.
14:30You sure about this marriage, isn't it?
14:31Positive.
14:32She said the important thing to remember
14:34is that Colin is a warm, kind and loving man.
14:36More than some of us have got.
14:37Yes, but Colin...
14:39Well, I think she's lucky.
14:40At least he cares more about her
14:41than he does his career
14:42or what Mr Brittus thinks.
14:44You all right, Julie?
14:45Er, you sure?
14:46Yeah.
14:47Tim, look after the desk.
14:49Come on.
14:50Let's go and have a talk.
14:51Oh, no, I can't.
14:52I've got to do some typing for Mr Brittus.
14:54My word, you are in a bad way, aren't you?
14:58You changed your mind, then?
14:59What?
15:00About manning the desk?
15:01Oh, that?
15:01Well, Laura asked me because...
15:02Oh, Laura asked you?
15:03Yes, well, that would make it all right, wouldn't it?
15:05It's only people you live with
15:06you don't want to help, isn't it?
15:07Oh, no, look, Gavin...
15:07Anyway, Mr Brittus wants to see you in his office.
15:09Gavin!
15:13It's funny how things turn out, isn't it?
15:15Yes.
15:19Colin!
15:19Just when you think life's going in one direction,
15:21you wake up one morning,
15:23and whoosh!
15:24Off you go in the other direction.
15:29Colin.
15:31Yes?
15:32You don't have to, you know.
15:36You don't have to marry me.
15:38I don't want you to feel forced
15:39into doing anything you don't really want.
15:42I've always admired you, Carol.
15:45Have you?
15:46You have that capacity
15:47when bad things happen to you,
15:49and they do happen to you
15:50rather frequently, don't they?
15:52They do a bit.
15:53But you always bounce straight back, don't you?
15:56Next morning, there you are
15:58with your cheerful smile and your...
15:59How can I help you?
16:02Bright as ever,
16:03and looking, if I may say so,
16:06extraordinarily attractive.
16:15Anyone can be happy
16:16when life's going well for them, Carol.
16:18But when things go wrong all the time,
16:20when all your plans go straight down the toilet,
16:23and you're still smiling...
16:27You know, in many ways,
16:29you remind me of Mr Brittus.
16:31Oh, sorry.
16:33Oh, you're very kind.
16:35I wonder, Carol,
16:37if you would do me the honour
16:38of accepting this.
16:43Oh, Colin.
16:45It's been in my family a good many years.
16:48It was last worn, I believe,
16:49by my great-great-grandmother.
16:51Your great-great-grandmother?
16:53Interestingly enough,
16:54the last woman in England
16:55to die of the plague.
16:57LAUGHTER
17:01There's something else I want to show you.
17:05Ta-da!
17:11It's a...
17:12a crib.
17:13Would you like to see it going?
17:15Going?
17:16And motorise it, you see,
17:17so we won't have to push it all the time.
17:19I've got this engine
17:20from an old Suffolk Punch motor mower,
17:22and I've attached it to this simple ratchet system.
17:25And...
17:30There you are, you see?
17:32And the baby just drops off quietly to sleep.
17:36What?
17:37I say the baby
17:38just drops off quietly to sleep.
17:43Is it safe?
17:44Yeah, yeah, it's quite safe.
17:46It's just slipping a bit on the ratchet.
17:47I'll give it a bang.
17:51LAUGHTER
18:08You know, Carol,
18:10I'd rather looking forward to being a father.
18:13LAUGHTER
18:15Oh, you were just like in the movies, Laura.
18:17I was gone as soon as I saw him.
18:19Sounds wonderful.
18:21Oh, but he's not.
18:22It all went wrong right from the start.
18:24That's his name, is it?
18:25Yeah, I mean, I should have known.
18:27What sort of man has a name like?
18:28Alexander Chomley Hume Bart.
18:31Bart's not actually part of his name, Julie.
18:33What?
18:34That's his title.
18:35It means he's a baronet.
18:36Oh, God, I really pick him, donor.
18:38So, what were you doing
18:39at the Young Conservative Spring Ball?
18:41Oh, I was serving drinks.
18:43I was standing there with me tray.
18:45I'd come over and started chatting a bit
18:47about beer and collies.
18:49And then I took him off upstairs.
18:51Upstairs? Upstairs?
18:52Yeah.
18:53Oh, it was wonderful, Laura.
18:54Really their business, you know.
18:57And afterwards, he asked me
18:58if I wanted to see him again.
18:59Ah, one of the old school.
19:00Mm.
19:01I said a night.
19:02And then he said,
19:03I'm sorry, I thought it meant
19:04more to you than that.
19:05And that was the last I saw of him.
19:07You did want to see him, did you?
19:09Of course I did.
19:10Yeah, I wondered in that case
19:11why you didn't say,
19:12yes, I'd love to see you again.
19:13When do you suggest?
19:14Come off it, Laura.
19:15I didn't want to sound a complete prat.
19:19So, he hasn't been in touch since then?
19:21Yeah, today.
19:22He sends up this message
19:23saying he wants to see me
19:24out in the car park.
19:25Says he can't get me out of his mind
19:26and he thinks we should clear the air
19:28and he wants to know
19:29how I feel about him.
19:30Did you tell him?
19:31Yeah.
19:32What did you say?
19:32I said I thought he were all right.
19:34Another green light, eh?
19:36And he stares at the windscreen
19:37and says,
19:38in that case,
19:39there's not much point
19:40in seeing each other again,
19:41is there?
19:43Julie.
19:44Oh, Laura,
19:44I've never felt like this
19:45about anyone.
19:47I thought he'd like me.
19:49I think he does.
19:50What?
19:52There's something you should know
19:53about us poor Southerners, Julie.
19:55The game's up, Tim.
19:57Mr Bridges?
19:57Your rumble, Timothy.
19:59Your number has been called.
20:01Your secret is out.
20:02What?
20:03What secret?
20:04I should have seen it
20:05a long time ago.
20:07No girlfriends,
20:08always hanging around with Gavin,
20:10those pelmets you made
20:11for the staff restroom.
20:13What puzzles me
20:14is how you thought
20:16you could get away with it.
20:17I haven't been trying
20:18to get away with anything,
20:19Mr Bridges.
20:19Do you realise
20:20how serious this is, Tim?
20:22Well, frankly,
20:22no, I don't.
20:23Take my word for it.
20:24You are in very hot water.
20:27I suppose you thought
20:28it was the only way
20:29you could get a job here.
20:30What?
20:30I've been through
20:31the records, Tim.
20:33When you applied,
20:34we'd already taken on
20:35our full quota of women.
20:37Mr Bridges,
20:38what exactly
20:38are you talking about?
20:41Timothy,
20:42you're a woman,
20:42aren't you?
20:48I'm a what?
20:50I have the lab report
20:51on your sample, Tim.
20:54By the way,
20:54you're also pregnant.
20:57Mr Bridges?
20:58You probably didn't know that,
20:59did you?
20:59Mr Bridges,
21:00I am not a woman.
21:01You're denying it?
21:01Oh, I certainly am.
21:02Well, there's one simple way
21:04to find out,
21:04isn't there?
21:10I had hoped it
21:11wouldn't come to this team.
21:12Mr Bridges,
21:13what are you doing?
21:14It's like another language,
21:16isn't it?
21:16I suppose it is, really.
21:18It works both ways,
21:19of course.
21:19Oh, how do you mean?
21:20Well, when he said,
21:21what was it,
21:22gosh, Julie,
21:23you're a real whiz,
21:24I really think
21:25he meant it as a compliment.
21:26You're kidding.
21:27No, no, I'm not.
21:28Come on,
21:29with a bit of luck,
21:30he may still be in the car park.
21:32Now, don't forget,
21:33the basic rule of thumb
21:35is if he laughs nervously,
21:37he's almost certainly
21:37trying to be serious.
21:39And then when he goes
21:39all frowny and concentrated,
21:41he's probably trying
21:42to remember a joke.
21:43Laura!
21:43Yes, Mrs. David,
21:44Gavin,
21:45good luck.
21:46And remember,
21:46you must be gentle with him.
21:48He's probably never
21:49been to Rotherham.
21:51Yes, Gavin,
21:52what's the problem?
21:53It's Mr British.
21:54Yes?
21:54I knew he got you wrong.
21:55Ellen!
21:56Look, he's not blue at all.
21:57Mrs. British,
21:58would you mind if...
21:59I knew I wasn't pregnant.
22:00Typical.
22:01I'm getting it all
22:01wrong again.
22:02Mrs British.
22:03I'd better go upstairs.
22:04Oh, and Susie
22:04would want to know as well.
22:05For God's sake,
22:06Mrs British,
22:06will you listen
22:07to somebody else
22:07for a change?
22:09This Mr British
22:10is doing things
22:11to Tim.
22:12Doing things?
22:13In the drawer.
22:17I want those
22:18tree ovaries off Tim
22:19and I want them off now.
22:22Is that...
22:23Is that Gordon?
22:24Yes.
22:25What's he doing?
22:26He's trying to take
22:26Tim's trousers off.
22:31You've torn my shirt.
22:32He's gone mad.
22:33He sounds like it.
22:35You've no right.
22:36I have every right
22:37when the safety of my staff
22:38is concerned, Tim.
22:39Now let go of that belt.
22:40Help!
22:41I'm not going to stand
22:41and listen to this anymore.
22:42Help somebody else!
22:43Hang on, Timmy,
22:44I'm coming!
22:49Mr British,
22:50you have to stop doing that!
22:52Gordon,
22:52what the hell
22:52is going on?
22:53Grab her shoulder
22:54scamping!
22:54Don't let her get away!
22:55Mr British,
22:56what are you doing?
22:57Let's go later,
22:57Laura.
22:58Undo her fly!
22:59Help!
23:03You all right?
23:04You went mad.
23:05You've really done
23:06it this time, Gordon.
23:06If they send you to prison,
23:07don't expect any visits
23:08from me.
23:09He kept saying
23:09he was a woman.
23:10Well, he is a woman.
23:11How could he be pregnant
23:12if he wasn't a woman?
23:13He says he's pregnant.
23:15According to this,
23:16the lab does.
23:17What?
23:17There you are,
23:18scientific proof.
23:19Now,
23:19someone can help me
23:20get those shorts off.
23:22There are an awful lot
23:23of pregnancies here,
23:24Mr British.
23:24That list is confidential,
23:26Laura.
23:26I make it 17 altogether.
23:27Which is a lot of
23:28counselling sessions
23:29to get through in one day,
23:30so if everyone could just...
23:31For grief,
23:31it's all the women
23:32on the staff.
23:33Including those three
23:34in their 70s
23:34and Mrs Delgado
23:35who's had a hysterectomy.
23:37Game lab, Laura.
23:38I've been double-checked.
23:39Yes.
23:40Who arranged for the collection?
23:41What?
23:41Who actually took
23:42the samples down to the lab?
23:43Well, I don't know.
23:44I was away.
23:45I gave mine to Julie.
23:46I think we should
23:47talk to Julie.
23:49Oh!
23:52Are you really serious?
24:04Could I have a word
24:05with my secretary, please?
24:06What is it?
24:07It's a confidential matter, Julie.
24:09I think it might be best.
24:10I'll be right back.
24:12I'll be right back.
24:17Well?
24:18You took the urine samples
24:19down to the lab last month.
24:21What?
24:21The drug test samples.
24:22You collected them
24:23and took them around to the lab.
24:25You took them there yourself.
24:26You didn't give them
24:27to anyone else.
24:29If anything happened, Julie,
24:31I think you should tell us.
24:33All right.
24:33I dropped them.
24:35You what?
24:36Well, just the women's
24:37and maybe one or two
24:39of the others.
24:39So what did you do?
24:41Well, there wasn't time
24:42to go around again, was there?
24:43And nobbed it
24:44except Susie uses drugs anyway.
24:46So I filled them up myself.
24:48What?
24:4817 of them?
24:49I did a couple of pints
24:50at lunchtime.
24:51I cannot believe
24:52I'm hearing this.
24:53You falsified
24:54official scientific records.
24:56Mr. British,
24:57do we have to do this now?
24:58What?
24:59Well, it may not seem
25:00much to you,
25:01but Alex and I
25:02are trying to talk.
25:03It's important.
25:04So is this, Julie.
25:07He's just asked me
25:08to marry him.
25:09Julie!
25:11Can we get back
25:11to the matter in hand, please?
25:13Julie here
25:14has falsified
25:15official scientific records.
25:17I don't know
25:18if I'm ready for marriage.
25:19I mean, what would I do?
25:21You'll be busy enough.
25:24I think you'd better
25:24have a look at this, Julie.
25:27It's quite definite, Julie.
25:28It's been checked
25:2917 times.
25:34I suppose you've heard?
25:35Yes.
25:36Yes.
25:37Wonderful news.
25:39Yes.
25:40Julie's engaged.
25:41I'm not pregnant.
25:43We don't have to get married.
25:45No.
25:47You'll be off out, then?
25:49A lot of the owners
25:50like to give their dogs
25:51a walk in the afternoon.
25:52I like to keep
25:53on top of the job.
25:55Make sure everything's clean
25:56for when the children
25:57come home.
26:00Well.
26:05Colin!
26:06Yes, Carol?
26:10I've just remembered.
26:14Thanks.
26:21Come in.
26:24Ah, Laura.
26:25I nearly made a bit
26:26of a fool of myself
26:27back there, didn't I?
26:29Well?
26:3017 simultaneous pregnancies.
26:32I should have realised
26:33it was something
26:34a bit strange.
26:36Well.
26:36But in many ways, Laura,
26:38that's what management
26:38is all about.
26:39Making mistakes.
26:41And you do it
26:42extraordinarily well,
26:43Mr. Britter.
26:44Thank you, Laura.
26:45Right, let's get on with
26:46this management meeting,
26:48shall we?
26:48Where's Gavin?
26:49He's gone home.
26:50What?
26:51Well, he rather presumed
26:52in the circumstances
26:53he wouldn't be welcome.
26:54What circumstances?
26:56Punching you in the face,
26:57mostly.
26:58Oh, that!
27:00I'd rather approved
27:00of that, actually.
27:02Did you?
27:03Frankly, Laura,
27:04I've always wondered
27:05whether there isn't
27:05something a little bit
27:06girly about Gavin.
27:08Well, seeing him
27:09leap to the defence
27:10of his friend
27:11in what must have
27:11seemed a very strange
27:12situation.
27:13It did rather?
27:14Yes, I was rather impressed.
27:16In fact, I think we should
27:17make his management
27:18post official.
27:19Oh, good.
27:21Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?
27:23What?
27:23Having everything
27:24back to normal.
27:26Well, you know,
27:27Tim and Gavin
27:28are sorted out,
27:29Linda and Carol
27:29aren't pregnant,
27:30Colin doesn't have
27:31to get married,
27:32Helen's gone home
27:33to cook a lovely supper
27:34for you,
27:34and Julie's...
27:35Ah, Julie.
27:36Julie,
27:37minute to the last
27:38meeting, please.
27:39Look, if you want
27:40any minutes,
27:41you can tab him yourself.
27:42And don't expect me
27:42back till Wednesday.
27:43I'm off to Scotland.
27:46Like I said,
27:47everything back to normal.
27:50I'm off to Scotland.
28:23I'm off to Scotland.
28:44You
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