- 2 days ago
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00:27If only
00:31Mr. Brittus had been here, this disaster would never have happened.
00:37Very possibly not, but the day may come when I'm not here at all.
00:43Let's just spend a moment thinking about that, shall we?
00:48OK.
00:50Can we think about it a bit longer, Mr. Brittus?
00:53Now, a brief word about basic safety techniques.
00:57The golden rule is... Linda.
01:01I'll remind you, shall I?
01:03On seeing a potential hazard, we think about it, don't we?
01:08We identify the problems, then we tell the rest of the team.
01:12Think, identify, tell.
01:14Tit.
01:15Pardon?
01:16I said tit, Mr. Brittus.
01:19Timothy...
01:19It's a mnemonic, Mr. Brittus.
01:21What?
01:22Think, identify, tell.
01:23T-I-T.
01:25Tit.
01:26I'm so sorry I'm late, Mr. Brittus.
01:28I've had a bit of trouble finding a fire extinguisher.
01:30If you remember, we lost three that time they took off your trousers and sprayed foam all over your...
01:34Stop right there.
01:36What's he done wrong, everyone?
01:39Did all promise not to mention the Rotary Club, didn't we?
01:41Gavin, I'm talking about the fact that he's not wearing a safety hat.
01:45You can't come in here without a hat, Colin.
01:46You're right, Mr. Brittus.
01:49I'm sorry.
01:50Are you going to be very much longer?
01:51Mr. Donaldson.
01:53I've got eight men waiting out there to come in and start work.
01:55There you are, Colin.
01:56You're holding up Mr. Donaldson now.
01:58All because Colin's not wearing a hat.
02:03Linda, go and get Colin a hat, please.
02:08I'll bring it back in a minute.
02:15Ah, thank you, Mr. Donaldson.
02:19Molly?
02:20Thank you, Mr. Brittus.
02:21You may now enter the room.
02:28What else has he done wrong?
02:29Anyone?
02:32Could you give them the answer to this one, Mr. Brittus?
02:34We've lost nearly an hour already.
02:35He's left a fire extinguisher in the middle of the room.
02:40Goodness me, so I have.
02:44Here's where we want it, Cole.
02:47Out of harm's way.
02:52Safety, Colin.
02:54We must think safety.
02:59Hi, Carol.
03:01Carol?
03:04It's all right, darling.
03:05Mum is coming.
03:06Oh, Michael.
03:08Welcome to it, my dear darling.
03:10How can I help you?
03:11I was wondering if Gordon was back.
03:13Oh, yes, he's upstairs, so you should be safe if you keep to the ground floor.
03:16No, no, no.
03:17I wanted to see him.
03:18Oh, well, I'll just fill you out a visitor security pass, then.
03:22Sweet.
03:23Oh, Ben.
03:25I've told you before about playing with Mummy's things.
03:29Are you OK, Carol?
03:31I'm sorry, Michael.
03:32It's just Jessica's got another ear infection, and I haven't had any sleep for three nights.
03:36Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
03:37What with that and my birthday?
03:39It's your birthday.
03:40Was.
03:41Yesterday.
03:42I had no idea.
03:44Nobody did.
03:45My presents, cards.
03:47One.
03:49From Ben.
03:50Oh.
03:53Happy birthday, Pooh-head.
03:56I won't buy him an air rifle, you see.
03:58This is terrible, Carol.
04:00You leave it with me.
04:01Just as soon as I've seen Gordon, I'm going to do something about this.
04:06Oh, for goodness sake, Ben, turn it down!
04:08There are other people trying to sleep in these doors, you know!
04:14Come in.
04:17What do you want?
04:19Ben, good morning to you, Gordon.
04:21I said, what do you want?
04:23I've come for a job.
04:25You what?
04:29I'd like to work here, Gordon.
04:31I don't know if anyone's ever explained to you, Mr. Farrell, but if you had a job, you
04:35might be expected to do a day's work.
04:37Look, I know that...
04:38And you wouldn't recognise a day's work if it jumped out of your Cayman Islands bank
04:41account and turned into a pair of silk pyjamas.
04:44I just want a job, Gordon.
04:46I'm afraid there's nothing available.
04:48Well, that's not what it says here.
04:50A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to change both you and the world you live in.
04:55Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre seeks new junior pool attendant.
04:59You can't have that position.
05:00Why not?
05:00You're an American.
05:03Married to a British national.
05:04I checked it out, Gordon.
05:05Would Julie have application forms?
05:08You leave my secretary alone.
05:10Julie, bring me in the application forms, please.
05:13I want to keep them under lock and key.
05:16Britus.
05:17What sort of emergency, Colin?
05:19Welcome home, Gordon.
05:21One moment, my darling, please.
05:22Michael, what are you doing here?
05:24Oh, I just drive by.
05:26Now, I don't know why you're bothering, because no-one's going to apply.
05:29Colin, why exactly would a builder want to set fire to his own hair?
05:33Oh, I saw you in the restaurant last night.
05:35What?
05:36Well, I was helping out in the kitchens.
05:37That's why you got an extra oyster.
05:40Sorry.
05:41I'm always doing that.
05:43All right, all right.
05:45I'll deal with it, Colin.
05:47Sorry, my darling.
05:48What is it about restaurants?
05:50Sorry?
05:50I thought you were in Manchester with your mother.
05:53Yes, I came back early for dinner.
05:56Dinner?
05:56That's nice.
05:57Who with?
05:59She had dinner with me, Gordon.
06:01You?
06:02I hope you don't mind.
06:04You had dinner with him?
06:05Just the two of you?
06:06Well, obviously not just the two of us, Gordon.
06:08No?
06:08It was a whole bunch of us.
06:09Yeah, we were celebrating Carol's birthday.
06:13Carol's birthday, and I missed it.
06:15That's why Helen wanted to be there, to represent you.
06:18Yes, yes, that's right.
06:19I went over to say happy birthday from all of us.
06:21All right, bye, darling.
06:23We'll talk about it later.
06:23I've got an emergency to deal with.
06:30Michael, that was brilliant.
06:31I don't know how to thank you.
06:33Hey, Helen, I've been there, you know.
06:35God, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Richard.
06:36Oh, never mind you.
06:38I should have realised, you know, there you were, that lawyer, champagne, oyster.
06:42Oh, it's wonderful.
06:42I do not believe it.
06:45You sacrificed a precious evening with your mother so that management could be represented
06:50at Carol's birthday.
06:51You are a ministering angel, my sweet.
06:59I've always admired that about Gordon.
07:02He really trusts me.
07:08So, you're telling me this man picked up his comb...
07:11This comb, Mr. Brittus, seems ordinary enough.
07:14And his hair caught fire.
07:16So, why would it set his hair on fire?
07:18Well, it's a mystery, isn't it?
07:20Right, here's what you do, Colin.
07:21Give him an aspirin.
07:23If that doesn't work, you'll have to send him home.
07:25We'll comb, Mr. Brittus.
07:26Now, about this party last night...
07:30Party?
07:31Carol's birthday party.
07:32Did anyone remember to give her a present?
07:34Present.
07:35I wish you'd stop repeating everything I say.
07:37I don't know anything about a party.
07:39You don't know anything about a party?
07:41Nobody told me anything.
07:42Nobody told you anything?
07:44Would you mind waiting, please?
07:46I'm trying to get some sense in and I'll get the manager.
07:48Hey, Councillor Druggett called.
07:51He wants to know about Brussels.
07:52I know you're definitely leaving.
07:53Right.
07:54I'd better deal with it.
07:55Just make sure he knows we're not liable.
07:59Is this the one that set fire to his head?
08:03Did you know about this party?
08:05What?
08:06Mr. Brittus told me that Carol had a birthday party last night.
08:09Oh, God.
08:09Did you ask if you were there?
08:10Yes.
08:10Well, what did you say?
08:11What could I say?
08:12I said no.
08:14Were many members of staff not invited?
08:16Oh, crikey, we're not ready for this.
08:18Sorry, Colin.
08:20Was I the only one?
08:23Sorry, Dermot.
08:24You want something from your lunchbox?
08:28Hang on.
08:33He's asking about the party.
08:35What?
08:35Mr. Brittus has been asking Colin about the party.
08:38Oh, Lord, what do we do now?
08:39It's all right.
08:40It's all right.
08:40As long as we all say the same thing.
08:41We just have to make sure that everybody knows the story.
08:44Listen, can you two say you were at a party last night?
08:46A party?
08:47Why?
08:47Well, Michael's told Brittus that we were all celebrating Carol's birthday at the Trocadero.
08:51So if he asks, you were there, okay?
08:53Yes, fine.
08:54It's not that important, but it would help.
08:56And we'll say Gavin was the one who organized it.
08:57Should be a few briny points there, eh?
08:59Well, I'd rather not, if you don't mind.
09:00Why not?
09:01I'd rather not say I was there when...
09:02Well, I wasn't, was I?
09:03Well, none of us were there, Gavin.
09:04That's the whole point.
09:05It's made up.
09:06Well, I'd prefer not to have to tell a lie.
09:08Oh, come on, Gavin.
09:09Oh, it doesn't matter.
09:10As long as we get enough of the others.
09:12I could bring Edward.
09:13What?
09:13As a matter of fact, I'd feel happier if he came.
09:15I'm actually quite a shy person.
09:17Linda.
09:18Oh, let her bring him.
09:19The important thing now is to tell everyone else.
09:21Oh, except Colin, because he already said he didn't know anything about it.
09:24Right.
09:25So it was the Trocadero.
09:26We got there just after eight, back just after midnight, and everyone had a wonderful time.
09:30Right.
09:30Well, I'll tell Carol.
09:31Thanks, Julie.
09:31I could do the pool in the changing rooms.
09:33And I'll catch anyone who comes in here.
09:34I'll phone Edward.
09:36Sometimes wonder if it's all worth it, you know, with all the lies, the deception, the
09:41anxiety, just for a few moments of illicit pleasure.
09:45Yes.
09:46I think it is.
09:51Looks like some of us rather overindulged last night, Carol.
09:54Sorry, Miss Briss.
09:55Good party, eh?
09:56At the restaurant, your birthday?
09:58Oh, yes, that.
09:59We went to the Trocadero, got there about eight, left just before midnight and all thoroughly
10:03enjoyed ourselves.
10:04I have no wish to spoil a festive occasion, Carol, but when an evening's enjoyment affects
10:09our performance at work the following day, I'll get Julie to drop down my pamphlet on
10:13alcohol abuse, all right?
10:16Linda, a word, please.
10:19Now, you were at this party last night, were you?
10:22I certainly was, Miss Briss.
10:23We all went to the Trocadero, got there about eight.
10:26Yes, I know that, Linda.
10:28What concerns me is Carol's present.
10:30I take it she did get one, didn't she?
10:32Oh, yes.
10:33And what was it?
10:35Um, I'm afraid Edward and I didn't see.
10:37No?
10:38It was in its little box by then.
10:40Right, so who organised it?
10:43What was it, Gavin?
10:44Was it Tim?
10:45Tim.
10:45Tim?
10:45Yes.
10:47Right, get Tim to come to my office, please, will you?
10:49Yes, Miss Briss.
10:54Tim, Mr Briss wants to see you in his office and he wants to know about the present.
10:58What present?
10:59Carol's birthday present.
11:00I told him you organised it and I didn't know what it was.
11:03Sorry.
11:04I'm really sorry, Tim.
11:06It's OK.
11:06We just have to decide what the present was.
11:09How about towels?
11:10There's not much of a present.
11:12Couldn't we get us something a bit more personal?
11:14Jewellery or...?
11:14It's towels.
11:16So I organised the collection and we gave her some bath towels.
11:18I can handle that.
11:21Well, Edward and I are giving jewellery.
11:26Are you still here?
11:28I just need an application form.
11:30Look, I've told you there's no point in discussing it.
11:33I'm not having a proven adulterer wearing the logo and uniform of this leisure centre.
11:37I'll level with you, Gordon.
11:38I need this job.
11:40I thought you had a wife to live off.
11:42Not to mention a father in Chicago worth millions.
11:45Billions, Gordon.
11:46But none of it is mine unless Laura has a child.
11:50And at the moment it looks like she doesn't want one.
11:53Well, can you blame her?
11:54You're not exactly the world's most trustworthy of husbands, are you?
11:57Well, that's exactly why I need this job.
11:59I need to do something drastic to prove to Laura that I've changed.
12:01And, well, frankly, wearing shorts to work is about as drastic as I can get.
12:06I need to show her I'm serious, Gordon.
12:09Can you understand that?
12:11I suppose I can.
12:12And then you see why I need the job?
12:15Yes.
12:15So do I get it?
12:16No.
12:18This is a racist thing, right?
12:20What?
12:22You're discriminating against my ethnic background.
12:25It's the Irish grandparents.
12:27Your grandparents are completely irrelevant, Farrell.
12:31I wonder if the Equal Opportunities Board will see it that way.
12:38Sit down, Farrell.
12:44243 questions, no blanks allowed.
12:47Great.
12:48Can I take a pen?
12:55Sign here, please.
12:57Do I have to sign for this pen?
12:59Just write your name, Farrell.
13:14You may now have access to Leisure Centre property.
13:20You wanted to see me, Mr Brittis?
13:22Oh, Timothy.
13:23Yes, it concerns Carol's present that you organised.
13:25Oh, yes.
13:26We went for the bath towels in the end.
13:27Yes.
13:28Would anyone mind if I made a contribution?
13:30You want to give me money?
13:32It's a question of staff morale, Tim.
13:35Now, how much did it cost?
13:36Ah, er, 55 pounds.
13:39Sounds rather expensive.
13:40Well, there were four.
13:41Big ones.
13:42And how many of you were there?
13:44Oh, let me just count round the table.
13:46Um, two, four, six...
13:48There were 16 altogether, Tim.
13:50So there were.
13:5016.
13:51And how many of those were members of staff?
13:53What?
13:54It's just I need to know the number, Tim,
13:56so that I can take the 55 pounds
13:58and divide it by that number, plus one, myself,
14:01so I can work out my contribution
14:03and then determine what fraction of that
14:05I need to reimburse the others with.
14:07Yes.
14:07Unless, of course, you took contributions
14:09from people who weren't at the party,
14:11like Laura, Gavin...
14:12Why shouldn't Gavin have been at the party?
14:13Well, how could he be?
14:15It's Monday night.
14:16He's not still keeping it a secret, is he, Tim?
14:18He goes to his mother's.
14:20Gavin came to me some weeks ago, Tim,
14:22and asked for advice about how he could scale
14:24the ladders of promotion,
14:26and I sent him on a management course.
14:27A what?
14:28He did extremely well.
14:29Came fifth overall in the term exams.
14:31You might tell him that.
14:32I certainly will.
14:40It's funny how the smell always lingers,
14:42isn't it?
14:42Eh?
14:43In kitchens.
14:44It's being a vegetarian.
14:46You always recognise the smell of cooked meat.
14:52My word, that is rather high.
14:54What is it?
14:55109.
14:56Has he been out in the sun at all?
14:58Oh, damn, and a sour.
15:00I'll just check his heart.
15:03Don't worry, son, this might be a little bit chilly.
15:09We've written it all down for you.
15:11Now, this is where everyone was sitting,
15:13and this is what we all ate.
15:14We've put down what people are wearing
15:16and one or two funny things that they said.
15:17OK?
15:18Right.
15:21Oh, goodness, Colin.
15:23Is there anything I can do?
15:24Please don't trouble yourself.
15:26You'll doubtless be needing your rest after the party.
15:28Oh, thank you.
15:29Linda told me what a success it had all been.
15:31Oh, yes, it was wonderful, Colin.
15:32They gave me towels.
15:33Everyone was there.
15:34Not quite everyone, Carol.
15:37No.
15:38Or didn't you notice?
15:40Oh, Colin, you weren't there.
15:42What happened?
15:43I was not invited.
15:45Colin, I'm so sorry.
15:47As it happens, I had plenty to do last evening,
15:49but it might have been nice to have been asked.
15:52How does he have a stretcher?
15:53Is it serious?
15:54Just heat stroke me think, Laura.
15:56I'm dealing with it.
15:57Do you want some help?
15:57No, thank you, Laura.
15:58I'd rather be on my own.
16:00I might as well get used to it.
16:05What's up with him?
16:06Oh, it's all my fault, Laura.
16:07I didn't invite Colin to my party last night.
16:09You had a party?
16:10Yes, we went to the Trocadero.
16:12Everyone was there.
16:13It was my birthday.
16:14Why didn't you invite him?
16:16I've no idea.
16:18I had everyone else.
16:19Michael, Tim, Julie.
16:20Michael?
16:21What?
16:22My Michael?
16:23Oh, yes.
16:24He sat two places away on my right.
16:26We have the real.
16:28You didn't tell me.
16:29Oh, no, I don't believe it.
16:31You weren't there either.
16:32Oh, I'm so sorry.
16:33I didn't invite you.
16:34I haven't invited Colin.
16:35No, no, it's all right, Carol.
16:36I was in London.
16:37No, I just wonder why he didn't mention it.
16:39Oh, well, he'll probably explain it himself when he comes downstairs.
16:42He's here?
16:43Yes.
16:43He wanted to see Miss Briss.
16:44I think I'll just pop upstairs and see if everything's all right.
16:49Although, with this bomb business, Councillor,
16:51I'm beginning to wonder if I should even think about leaving.
16:55Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
16:59Europe's need is the greater.
17:01That's a very noble thought, Mr Druggett.
17:04About five weeks, if all goes well.
17:07Well, let's hope so, yes.
17:09One last thing, Councillor.
17:11I've worked out an estimate for the building repairs.
17:15Well, it pans out round about ballpark figure of £400,000.
17:20Councillor?
17:21Mr Druggett?
17:24Laura, how are things?
17:26I wondered if you knew we just lost a builder.
17:28Another?
17:29What happened to this one?
17:30Colin reckoned it was some sort of heat stroke.
17:32I'd take it with a pinch of salt if I were you, Laura.
17:35We've already had one go home saying you've been burnt on the crotch by his lunchbox.
17:39I'm going to check what's happening.
17:42Wiser to keep out, I think, Laura.
17:44These people are usually very touchy in my experience.
17:47Down tools if you so much as talk to them.
17:50I've promised a good council that we'll keep away.
17:52Anyway, how was London?
17:54Gordon, I'm a little puzzled by question 98.
17:58Oh, Laura, you're back.
17:59Yes.
18:00How was London?
18:01Fine, thank you.
18:02How was the party?
18:03How was it?
18:03I hear you had the veal.
18:05You weren't there either, were you, Laura?
18:07Look, if you'd like to make a contribution to the present, I can recalculate the figures.
18:10You got her a present?
18:11Yes.
18:11What was it?
18:13Unfortunately, I was sitting around the corner.
18:14I didn't get to see it.
18:15They gave her towels, Laura.
18:18Rather a successful do, by all accounts.
18:20You and I rather missed out.
18:21Yes, I think we possibly did.
18:22What are you doing here, Michael?
18:24Could I explain that a little later?
18:26I look forward to it.
18:29I was going to tell you.
18:31Oh, yes.
18:32I was.
18:32I know how you feel about management.
18:34Too right I do.
18:35Do you want to end up like Britus?
18:36Well, at least he's got somewhere with his life.
18:38At least he's done something.
18:39You call that good?
18:40I just don't want to spend the rest of my life as some commoner garden pool attendant.
18:43Oh, but being commoner garden's okay for me, is it?
18:45I didn't say that.
18:46No, you didn't have to.
18:47Look, if you don't change direction, you wind up where you're going.
18:50God, you've been listening to him as well, haven't you?
18:54Look, I know what all this is about.
18:55Just because I didn't go to public school.
18:57Look, it's got nothing to do with public school.
19:00Look, Tim.
19:00Don't touch me.
19:03I'm not going to argue about this.
19:05I've got a badminton class.
19:08Look at this.
19:10We've bought a tie.
19:12Put that back.
19:13We're jumping the gun a bit, aren't we?
19:14Put it back.
19:15Hello, what are these?
19:17Leadership in Modern Management.
19:20Mobilising Resources in the Leisure Industry.
19:23And finally, say hello to success.
19:25Have you been reading these?
19:26There's just a few books from the library, that's all.
19:27Ex Libris Gordon Britus.
19:30Remember, Gavin, my door is always open to a fellow worker for the Dream NB.
19:35Please return by 9.30 Monday.
19:38Look, be careful with that.
19:39Oh, no, no, no.
19:39Oh, chapter three.
19:40If you can dream it, you can do it.
19:42Give that back.
19:43No, no, I want to be a fellow dreamer.
19:45Give that to me.
19:46Give that.
19:47Ah, young love.
19:50Do you think we ought to stop them or something?
19:52No, let's stay and watch.
19:58I know some of you feel that these unexplained burnings are something more than just bad luck.
20:04It may be possible that we've disturbed an ancient burial site.
20:11So my suggestion is we wait here until the exorcist arrives,
20:16and then we know that there'll be no more shocks and surprises.
20:31Carol, about this party last night, could I ask a few questions?
20:35Questions?
20:36Yes, just one or two things I'd like to get clear.
20:38Certainly, Laura.
20:39If you'd just excuse me a moment.
20:44Yes?
20:45Never mind.
20:48Linda, do you know who organised his party last night?
20:50Nobody, really.
20:51Nobody?
20:52No, well, there wasn't really a party, you see.
20:54We just had to say there was.
20:55And whose idea was that?
20:56Oh, Michael's.
20:57Did he say why?
20:58I don't think so.
20:59Probably covering up for something.
21:01You know what Michael's like.
21:03Oh, they're going to kill each other.
21:05Sorry, Carol, I'm going to need that.
21:06What?
21:07Like that?
21:08Come on, Michael!
21:08No, no, Julie!
21:18What's going on?
21:19He lied.
21:20All I did was go to an evening class.
21:21He lied.
21:22I said that.
21:24Everybody tells lies sometimes.
21:26You have to.
21:27Not to me.
21:27No, no, I think Gavin's got a point.
21:29What?
21:29Well, I've been thinking a lot about this recently,
21:32and I don't see how you could not tell lies in a relationship.
21:34I mean, if everyone told their partner everything,
21:37most relationships wouldn't last ten minutes.
21:39We'd all be getting divorced, and...
21:41Hello, Gordon.
21:43Right, all those who attended Carol's party,
21:46up to my office now, please.
21:48Chop, chop!
21:51Helen, I thought you were at the party.
21:53Oh, I didn't think you'd...
21:54I didn't think you'd...
21:55You'd...
22:00My suspicions were first aroused
22:02by this present you all apparently gave Carol.
22:05Such a generous gift,
22:06if I could thank you all once again.
22:07A present which Linda earlier described
22:10as being wrapped in a small box,
22:12but which later turned out to be four bath towels.
22:15Yes, I think I can explain that.
22:16Perhaps you could also explain, Timothy,
22:18why Michael Farrell was unable to see the present
22:21because he was seated round a corner, out of sight,
22:24when, according to you,
22:26everyone was seated at a circular table.
22:28Yes, I think I can see the misunderstandings.
22:29Save your breath, Tim.
22:31I've phoned the restaurant.
22:32Oh, God.
22:33It's not going to work, you know.
22:35What?
22:36This attempt to convince me that there was no party.
22:39That I have no need to feel humiliated and hurt.
22:43I appreciate your efforts, Mr. Brittus.
22:44Sit down, Collie.
22:45I feel that in the circumstances
22:47I have no alternative but to tend to my resignation.
22:49One more squeak out of you and you're fired, Collie.
22:51Great, Mr. Ross.
22:53Now, the other interesting point the manager mentioned
22:55was a couple who booked in under the name of Smith.
22:58One was a tall, good-looking man with dark, wavy hair.
23:02The other, he described, as a fluffy blonde
23:05who talked too much and spilt a lot of wine down the front.
23:08You've all been lying to me.
23:12Except me.
23:12Not now, Gabby.
23:14And the one who started all the lies
23:17was you, Helen Brittus.
23:20Now, the interesting question is,
23:22why would my wife,
23:24who we all know would never do a dishonest deed in her life,
23:27suddenly do something like this?
23:31I think the answer is bound up
23:33with a mystery man in the restaurant.
23:35Tall, good-looking, with dark, wavy hair.
23:37Who do we know who fits that description?
23:41I think we do.
23:42That's a bit of a children's grave.
23:44It was Farrell, wasn't it?
23:46Who?
23:46Michael T. Farrell III.
23:49Michael?
23:49The same.
23:51Of course, he's tall, good-looking.
23:53With dark, wavy hair.
23:54Who else could it be?
23:56Yes, Julie?
23:57I just wondered if you had any idea who the woman was.
23:59That, we shall probably never know,
24:02but in the final analysis,
24:04that is not important.
24:07What matters...
24:07So I'm completely innocent!
24:09Of course you are, my darling.
24:12What else could you be?
24:13So it's all sorted out, then?
24:15Not quite.
24:16I still want to know why my staff and my wife
24:20have been lying to me.
24:21And I think the answer
24:24is just outside this door.
24:27Mr Farrell, would you like to step this way, please?
24:29Almost finished, Gordon.
24:31Just 33 more to go.
24:35Something going on?
24:37Something has been going on, as you put it.
24:41I'm afraid your dabblings in the honeypots
24:44have finally come home to roost.
24:46Oh.
24:47Michael T Farrell III, I put it to you.
24:50This whole business of Carol's birthday party
24:52in the Trocadero restaurant
24:53is nothing more than an attempt to cover up the truth.
24:56That you were there in the restaurant,
24:58accompanied by a lady
24:59with whom you were having a secret affair,
25:01a fact you were understandably desperate
25:03to keep from your wife, Laura.
25:08What have you got to say for yourself, Mr Farrell?
25:13What can I say, Gordon?
25:14You got me.
25:20I can't believe it, Michael.
25:22No, that's true.
25:23Every word of it.
25:24No, no, no.
25:24I don't mean the Miss Marple bit.
25:25You applied for a job.
25:27Oh, that.
25:28Well, there's not much help
25:29in me getting that now.
25:30But you applied.
25:32They can't take that away from you.
25:34We'll get this framed.
25:36Thanks.
25:38Number 87.
25:40Apart from potential
25:41for spiritual and physical growth,
25:42analysing questions 15 through 67,
25:46what would be your main satisfaction
25:48in coming to work
25:49at Whitby Newtown Leisure?
25:52I'd like to spend more time with my wife.
25:55Is that true?
25:58Kind of.
26:02Well, I think that could be happening soon, anyway.
26:07I'm afraid I wasn't that honest
26:09about my trip to London, either.
26:11No?
26:12I was actually seeing our old family doctor
26:15and he was very...
26:18positive.
26:19Positive?
26:25Does this mean that...
26:30say hello to Barney?
26:33Hello, Barney.
26:35You're going to be one rich bunny.
26:40Sorry, my darling.
26:42Rather longer than two minutes, wasn't it?
26:45Never mind, Gordon.
26:45I had to call the contractors
26:47to complain about the builders.
26:50Have you seen them?
26:52I've been sitting in that van like statues
26:54for three hours now.
26:55Pretty depressing.
26:57Oh, Gordon, isn't it a lovely day?
27:00Is it?
27:01Look, over there.
27:04She trusts him completely, doesn't she?
27:06If only she knew...
27:09Well...
27:09Someone ought to tell her.
27:11Perhaps I'll pop round there myself
27:12this evening on some pretext.
27:14I don't think I would, Gordon.
27:16No?
27:17I mean, what good would it do?
27:19Well, it would doubtless mean the break-up
27:21of her marriage and very possibly destroy
27:23her faith in human nature.
27:24But at least she'd know where she stood.
27:26That's an awful shame.
27:29It's not that important.
27:31Not important?
27:32He's been unfaithful, Helen.
27:35Yes, but...
27:36I think with some people,
27:38in some cases,
27:40that sort of thing doesn't mean as much as you'd think.
27:43But she loves him.
27:44And he doesn't deserve it.
27:47Perhaps that's when you need it most.
27:49When you don't deserve it.
27:57Helen Britus,
27:59you've gone and done it again.
28:01What?
28:02I think I know your every move
28:05and suddenly you go and surprise me all over again.
28:09You've been thinking.
28:13All right, all right.
28:15I won't tell her.
28:16His secret is safe with me.
28:18I think it's best.
28:20Come on.
28:21Come on.
28:24Come on.
28:54Come on.
28:56Come on.
28:56Come on.
28:58Come on.
28:59Come on.
29:02Come on.
29:04Come on.
29:05Come on.
29:13Come on.
29:14Come on.
29:14Come on.
29:14Come on.
29:14Come on.
29:15Come on.
29:16You
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