- 15 hours ago
مسلسل Last Man Standing مترجم - Episode 3
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00:03If Elway had had any other receivers like a Jerry Rice, we'd have five Super Bowls.
00:08We would.
00:08Huh?
00:09Coffee.
00:10Let's get coffee.
00:11A big double shot for you.
00:12Keep you up all day.
00:14Yay, coffee.
00:15Okay, Daddy, I'm going to have this today and two Marshmallow Peeps, and that's all.
00:19If I'm good.
00:20Good to set goals.
00:22Good morning.
00:23Good morning.
00:25Has anybody seen Boyd's Whoopee?
00:26I haven't.
00:28It'll grow.
00:31I believe she was referring to this.
00:33Oh, why don't you wean him off that dish rag?
00:36No, this is what I use to wean him off of me.
00:40Honey, everybody has their thing.
00:42Mandy had her pillowcase, Eve has Mr. Buttons, and you have your rational attachment to the Denver Broncos.
00:51Since when do you drink coffee?
00:52Since Victor Blake said tea is for losers.
00:54Could he stop by and make me some since it's all gone?
00:58Honey, don't forget we have grandparents' day at Boyd's school at noon.
01:02Oh, gosh, I can't do that today.
01:04Why not?
01:05Well, at work we've got a new chipmunk oscillator coming in with a new canooder valve.
01:09You know, you know, you know, you don't have to lie.
01:13If you don't want to go, just say you don't want to go.
01:15I don't want to go.
01:16You're going.
01:18This is stupid.
01:20Dad, we don't use the S word around Boyd.
01:23That's not the S word.
01:23The S word is socialism.
01:27Honey, it's important to Boyd that we go.
01:28He's two.
01:29He's not going to know we're there.
01:30He's not going to know he's there.
01:31No offense.
01:33I'll see you at noon, and don't wear that.
01:38Guys, don't waste coffee.
01:40Come on.
01:41This stuff doesn't grow on trees.
01:43Well, actually, it does grow on trees.
01:53Don't you open?
01:54No.
01:55Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
01:57Come on.
01:57For Kristen and Boyd.
01:59Come on.
02:00Aw, look at all those grandmas.
02:01Come on.
02:02They're adorable.
02:03Yeah, until they drive through a farmer's market.
02:06I'm going to check out the snack bar.
02:11You look familiar.
02:13Do you do chair yoga at the Y?
02:15Oh, no, I'm sorry.
02:16I don't even know what that is.
02:17Oh, back pillow store.
02:19Oh, there's a back pillow store.
02:20Well, sure.
02:22Old broads like us can't sit for long periods
02:25without our back pillows.
02:27Old broads like us?
02:31Hey, I have those same pants.
02:36I never thought I'd see the day
02:38when I'd be wearing pants with an elastic waist,
02:41but you get to be our age.
02:43Who cares?
02:46I care.
02:49What the heck is a Kelp Newton?
02:51Healthy crap is what it is.
02:53How about this?
02:55Milk made from soybeans.
02:57How do you get milk from a bean?
02:59Well, it's a small farm.
03:00It's very little stools and good eyesight.
03:03That is hilarious.
03:07Oh, whoops.
03:08That is Phoebe's art project.
03:12So, let me ask you something.
03:14Does Phoebe have any other interests?
03:15Oh.
03:17Oh, this might look unconventional to you,
03:19but we want to make sure
03:21that none of Mother Earth's resources are wasted.
03:24Somebody's wasted.
03:26Okay, friends.
03:27Why don't we gather around the community circle, huh?
03:31No.
03:32No.
03:32Yeah.
03:35Come on.
03:36Gather around.
03:38Oh.
03:39Oh.
03:40Oh.
03:41Oh.
03:45There you go.
03:49Ew.
03:51Yeah, that's good.
03:54Okay, friends.
03:55Why don't we teach our guests
03:56the happy, happy welcome song, huh?
03:59Okay.
04:00We're happy.
04:02We're clappy.
04:04Clap, clap, clap.
04:05We're happy.
04:06We're snappy.
04:08Snap, snap, snap.
04:10Oh.
04:11Oh, uh-oh.
04:12A friend is having a feeling.
04:17Why don't we validate that feeling?
04:20Are you feeling sad?
04:22Did someone steal your rainbow?
04:25Hey, somebody stole my patience.
04:28Oh, okay.
04:30Why don't we dig down deep
04:31and try to find that feeling, Doug?
04:33Doug?
04:34That's a dude?
04:38Who said that?
04:39He did.
04:40What?
04:41Doug made the choice to be a princess today,
04:44and we validate that choice.
04:46That's stupid.
04:51Boyd, we don't use the S-word here.
04:54It's just a word.
04:55It's a normal word.
04:56We don't use the word normal.
04:58It implies abnormal,
05:00which we also don't use.
05:02They're just words.
05:03We've got to use words.
05:04Okay, everybody, everybody.
05:06We're happy.
05:07We're happy.
05:08Happy, happy, happy.
05:10Okay, silent time for everybody.
05:15Mr. Baxter.
05:17Oh, don't you know that words
05:20can hurt just as much as weapons?
05:23Can they?
05:23Let's step outside.
05:25You shout a few words at me,
05:26I'll shoot you in the foot with a crossbow.
05:29Okay.
05:31Mr. Baxter,
05:32I'm going to have to ask you
05:33and your energy to leave.
05:35Okay, why not?
05:36Why don't we just do that?
05:47Here along Tanzania's Grumeti River,
05:49the feeding ritual of a bloat of hippopotami
05:52takes place.
05:53Known to fight over territory,
05:55two females spy the same patch of grass
05:57and a lively battle ensues.
06:00Usually the challenging hippo
06:02will stop fighting,
06:03but it is clear that the other hippo
06:04is stronger.
06:07But not always.
06:10Guys, what?
06:11I'm trying to watch a bloat of hippos fight.
06:13What's happening?
06:15Eve has been using my shampoo,
06:17my evil L'Goria shampoo.
06:18I did not.
06:19Dad, would you please settle this
06:20and smell her head?
06:22I'm fairly certain
06:23I'm not going to do that.
06:24I want you guys to take care of this yourselves.
06:26Go upstairs, do it quietly.
06:29Dad?
06:30What?
06:33I just got off the phone
06:34with Happy Happy Rainbow.
06:35Congratulations.
06:36Boyd is the first kid ever
06:38to be expelled.
06:41Expelled?
06:42He got expelled from a preschool?
06:45That's terrible.
06:47Yeah, they say that our family energy
06:49doesn't mesh.
06:51This totally sucks for Boyd.
06:53All of his little friends
06:53go to that school.
06:54Baby, he's two years old.
06:56They're not friends.
06:57They're just little blobs he talks at.
07:00Okay, I need you to get on the phone
07:02and beg them to take Boyd back.
07:03Can't.
07:04Why not?
07:04Don't want to.
07:06You know, he imitates your behavior
07:08and it's not cute.
07:09Well, it's kind of cute.
07:11There's only two-year-old I know
07:12that can do a good arm fart.
07:16Dad, this is a real problem.
07:18What am I supposed to do with Boyd?
07:20I can't take him to the diner with me.
07:21Well, we find a new preschool.
07:22How about that?
07:23When?
07:24Tomorrow?
07:24Because it took me six months
07:26to get him into that one.
07:27Does that make any sense?
07:28It's so competitive to get into a school
07:30that doesn't like competition.
07:33Dad.
07:33All right, all right.
07:34Well, for the next couple days,
07:36I can take him to work with me.
07:37Fine.
07:39I'm desperate and I don't see any wolves
07:42available to watch him,
07:43so I guess you're the next best thing.
07:44You know, for your information,
07:46Earth Mom,
07:48wolves are very nurturing to their young.
07:54Hey, I want to apologize
07:55for my very justified behavior
07:57that communist preschool avoids.
08:01Honey, that's your mess.
08:03You're going to need to clean that up.
08:04Meanwhile, back to my neck.
08:07What's the matter with your neck?
08:09Can you believe that old bat
08:10thought I was her age?
08:12I mean, look at me.
08:13I'm way too young
08:14to have an adult daughter,
08:15never mind a grandson.
08:17Yeah, babies having babies.
08:18Yeah, yeah.
08:19And the one day
08:20I wear comfortable pants,
08:21I get called out as an old lady.
08:24Honey, be honest.
08:24How old do I look?
08:2625.
08:27I'll be serious.
08:28All right.
08:2945.
08:30Not that serious.
08:3235.
08:3317.
08:34Please make this stop.
08:37Hey, Mom.
08:38I wouldn't.
08:39What was Eleanor Roosevelt like?
08:41You really think I'm that old
08:43that I knew her?
08:45No, but you know about history, though.
08:47Like, when did the Great Depression end?
08:49Trust me, I just started!
09:01Excuse me.
09:02Hi.
09:03Uh, do you work here?
09:04Oh, is the music too loud?
09:06Do you want to see a manager?
09:07No, no, no.
09:08I love it.
09:09Turn it up, I say.
09:11No, just, um, shop and...
09:14Oh, great.
09:15Are you looking for something
09:16for your daughter?
09:17Nope.
09:18Granddaughter?
09:19Nope.
09:19Great-granddaughter?
09:23Now I'd like to see a manager.
09:34Hey, Mike.
09:35Mike.
09:36What the hell is this?
09:38It's a bouncy house.
09:39I put a Sierra tent
09:41on some inflatable rafts.
09:43Looks like fun.
09:44Yeah.
09:45Get it out of here.
09:47Hey, boss.
09:48Boss.
09:48Ed, Ed.
09:49It's for Boyd.
09:50I got him kicked out
09:51of a preschool,
09:52which I can't say
09:52without smiling.
09:55Hey, this is a business,
09:56not a daycare.
09:57You won't slow anybody down.
10:01That is awesome.
10:03Hey, this is exactly
10:05what I'm talking about.
10:06We need people working.
10:07Instead, you've got,
10:08you've got Kyle in there
10:09bouncing around with Boyd.
10:11Boyd's not in there.
10:12What?
10:12He's off making s'mores
10:13with Frank and camping.
10:15Everybody's pretty psyched
10:16to hang out with him.
10:17Can't you put that kid
10:18in a little crate?
10:20You know,
10:20I can see why you're not
10:21close to your children.
10:32Oh, wow.
10:34Oh, that is cute.
10:37That's pants.
10:48Are they half off?
10:50Because they're short.
10:53Yeah, I get it.
10:55So, do you have him in a six?
10:58We have zero
10:59all the way through two.
11:04Uh, I'll try three twos.
11:07Okay.
11:13Mom?
11:14Mandy?
11:15Have you run out of ways
11:16to embarrass me?
11:17Well, aren't you supposed
11:19to be studying?
11:19I'm on a break.
11:21What are you doing here?
11:22I'm just, I'm shopping.
11:23I'm trying to find
11:25a cute, um,
11:26one of these things.
11:28Oh, Mama.
11:29You're ready for a new look.
11:30Listen to me.
11:31I'm going to fix you.
11:32Come on, babe.
11:33Mom, it is going to be amazing.
11:35You are going to look funny.
11:37We didn't have three twos,
11:39so I brought you six ones.
11:46Almost done, boss.
11:48Hey, Kaya, what is this?
11:49I said a fort for Boyd,
11:50not a shantytown.
11:53I'm doing the best I can.
11:54I'm not an architect.
11:56Go ahead.
11:56Be disappointed in me
11:57like my father.
11:58The architect.
12:01Boy, quit crying, Aunt Susan.
12:03I just asked you a question.
12:06Hey, uh,
12:06isn't that Don from Shipping?
12:08Isn't he supposed to be
12:08taking Boyd for a ride
12:09on the forklift?
12:10Uh, no.
12:11Uh, Neil from Edge Weapons
12:12took him to pet
12:13the animal heads.
12:15Neil's in my office.
12:16So who's got the kid?
12:17What are you feeding this kid?
12:21I've seen bears drop
12:23smaller loads
12:24than this little bombardier.
12:27Look who's come around
12:28a boy.
12:29Well, I'm not made of stone.
12:31I've got some titanium
12:32in my left leg,
12:33but no stone.
12:34Look at this.
12:36Pack of wolves
12:37taking care of its cub.
12:39We don't need
12:39no stinking preschool.
12:41You got Papa Wolf there
12:43changing diapers.
12:44You got Timberwolf here
12:45building a nice little fort.
12:47You got Curly Wolf here
12:48foraging for pork rinds
12:50for the boy.
12:51Come on.
12:53Oh.
12:54I'm exhausted.
12:56Yeah.
12:56It's been a long day.
12:58I say.
12:59We head home,
13:01we start first thing
13:02in the morning, huh?
13:04It's 11 a.m., Mike.
13:09We gotta find you
13:10a preschool.
13:19Yeah, I understand
13:20everything, sure.
13:21Kenny, start Monday.
13:23Great.
13:24He'll start
13:2514 months from Monday?
13:28What?
13:29That's like high school.
13:31It's not gonna work.
13:32Yeah, thanks a lot.
13:35How we doing
13:35on that search, Mike?
13:36Not so good.
13:38I got him waitlisted
13:38at a cooking school.
13:39It's the best I can do.
13:41Oh, for God's sakes.
13:43The guys are exhausted.
13:45We got no work done.
13:46Come on, please.
13:47Call that school
13:48and apologize.
13:49Apologizing to that guy
13:50would go against
13:51everything I believe in.
13:54Bye.
13:57Let me tell you
13:58a little story.
14:00I once had
14:01a buckshot supplier,
14:03a real Jack Wayne,
14:05who demanded
14:06that I apologize
14:06for something
14:07I did not do.
14:09Right?
14:10Now, my pride
14:11was gonna cost me
14:12a bundle.
14:14Ask me what I did.
14:15All right.
14:15I'll tell you what I did.
14:16Yeah, all right.
14:17I apologized.
14:19And it was hard.
14:20But it was the right thing
14:21to do.
14:21And at the end of the day,
14:23I felt very good about it.
14:24All right?
14:25So,
14:27especially after
14:28I hired a guy
14:29to take a shovel
14:30to his Maserati.
14:36Are you sure
14:37we don't look silly?
14:38No, Mama.
14:38We look hot.
14:40I don't know about hot.
14:42Do I look hot?
14:44Uh, Mom?
14:46Why do you look like Mandy?
14:47Hey, check it out.
14:48We totally got
14:48rooster feathers in our hair.
14:49Look.
14:50Yeah, you totally did.
14:53What do you think?
14:54You went over
14:55to her side?
14:55No, I'm not
14:56on anybody's side.
14:57But I needed you
14:57to help me
14:58with my history homework.
14:59I can still help you.
15:00You can't look like her
15:01and no things.
15:03You know, personally,
15:04I'd rather be attractive
15:05than smart.
15:05Yeah, you made
15:06that pretty clear.
15:07Get out of here.
15:08Eve, honey,
15:09it's no big deal.
15:10I'm just,
15:10I'm trying to be
15:11more fashionable.
15:13Yeah, but what I love
15:14most about you
15:14is you just don't care
15:15how you look.
15:17That's really nice
15:18and deeply insulting.
15:31Those feathers?
15:32Yeah.
15:33Okay.
15:39So, uh, so,
15:39so you hate them?
15:41What?
15:41The feathers.
15:42You hate them.
15:44Forget it.
15:44I don't care.
15:45I'm just, I'm...
15:45Something's wrong.
15:46No, no, no.
15:47I know when something's wrong.
15:48You know how I know?
15:49Because I'm in tune
15:49with your lady moods.
15:50Right?
15:53Plus, I noticed
15:54somebody pounded down
15:54a brick of Baker's
15:55chocolate back then.
15:59I'm a grandmother.
16:02You just found that out?
16:07I knew I was a grandmother,
16:08but I just,
16:09I just, I never thought
16:11of myself as a grandmother.
16:13But, but it's true.
16:14I, I, I, I do all these
16:16old lady things.
16:19What old lady things?
16:20I wear sensible shoes.
16:22I, I, I always have
16:23candy in my purse.
16:25I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
16:29I enjoy getting knots
16:30out of jewelry.
16:33I wish I'd known you
16:34always have candy
16:35in your purse.
16:42Where did our youth go?
16:44Girls took it from us.
16:47Come on, baby.
16:49There's no reason
16:49to get upset about this.
16:50If you're so okay
16:51with getting older,
16:52why don't you let
16:52Boyd call you Grandpa?
16:54It's not my fault
16:55that he insists
16:56on calling me Champ.
16:58He calls me
16:59Granny Goose.
17:02That may, in fact,
17:03be my fault.
17:06Come on, babe.
17:07It's silly.
17:08It's the march of time.
17:10Days go by.
17:11We can't stop that.
17:12We both get older.
17:13That's how it is.
17:15Let's have a baby.
17:18What?
17:19Yeah.
17:20Women my age
17:21are having babies
17:22all the time.
17:22Where?
17:25Everywhere.
17:27Some places.
17:29New York.
17:31I looked so young
17:33when I was pregnant.
17:35Because you were young
17:36when you were pregnant.
17:38You've got to be kidding me.
17:39We can't do it.
17:40I don't have the energy.
17:41I had Boyd for eight hours
17:42a day at work.
17:43A team of seven men
17:45were exhausted.
17:46Two of those men
17:47climbed Everest
17:48with no oxygen.
17:50Do you remember
17:51when I was a new mother?
17:52I was just,
17:52I was so vibrant.
17:53No, no, no, no, no.
17:54You were sleep deprived.
17:55You were crazy.
17:56And no one cared
17:58that I always had food
17:59in my hair.
17:59We all cared.
18:00We just talked
18:00behind your back.
18:02My boobs were giant.
18:04We could talk
18:04about it, kid.
18:08Mom!
18:09Mom!
18:10I caught him
18:11using my shampoo.
18:12I was moving.
18:13It's because of my shampoo.
18:14I don't want to smell
18:15like Abel Algorio.
18:16She smells like lavender
18:18and all things pretty.
18:21Girls,
18:22go to your rooms
18:23and shut your doors.
18:27Okay, maybe not
18:28another baby.
18:30Listen,
18:31for whatever it's worth,
18:32I think you're beautiful.
18:33And I think you're getting
18:34more beautiful
18:35every single day.
18:36And there's no one
18:37I would rather walk with
18:39towards a sweet release
18:40of death
18:41than you.
18:46It's a good thing
18:47you don't write songs anymore.
18:53What?
18:55What smells like lavender?
18:58Nothing.
19:01You're using Mandy's
19:03Eva Longoria.
19:05No, I'm not.
19:07Oh, I don't believe you.
19:10I'm a big fan of hers.
19:18Thanks for doing this.
19:20What's the right thing to do?
19:22Sorry to keep you waiting.
19:23I was meditating
19:24and I ran long.
19:28Well, it could happen
19:29to anybody.
19:31Listen, I want to apologize
19:32for my behavior
19:33the other day.
19:33Everything I said,
19:35everything I did,
19:35everything I am.
19:36From a molecular level,
19:37I am just sorry.
19:39Wow.
19:40I think that is wonderful.
19:43I really like what you've said
19:45here today.
19:46So we're good.
19:47We're good.
19:47Yeah.
19:48We're good.
19:48Uh-huh.
19:48Let's get Boyd back here
19:50on Monday.
19:50We've got to unteach him
19:51all the stuff that Grandpa
19:52taught him.
19:53Great.
19:53We'll see you Monday.
19:54Oh, wait.
19:54You say this school
19:55is all about acceptance,
19:56but you're being kind of
19:58judgy about my dad.
19:59Hey, no harm, no foul.
20:00What do you say
20:00we get out of here?
20:01Well, there is a lot to judge.
20:03It would take all of my charcoal
20:05to sketch his aura.
20:06Well, you'd need more
20:07than charcoal.
20:09Hey, my dad did a pretty good job
20:11raising three girls.
20:12Well, two out of three.
20:15And if Boyd ended up
20:17like his grandpa,
20:18I would not be devastated.
20:19So, we'll see you Monday.
20:21You know what?
20:22I don't even know
20:22if I want my son
20:23coming to this school.
20:24Oh, sure you do.
20:24I would rather than he spend
20:25every day at work
20:26with my dad.
20:27Happy, happy, snappy,
20:28happy, crappy, snappy,
20:29happy, happy.
20:36Hey.
20:37Hi.
20:38Well, if it isn't
20:39the most beautiful,
20:40sexy, youthful wife
20:41that I know.
20:43Me?
20:44Yeah.
20:45Oh, wow.
20:48And guess what
20:48we're going to do tonight?
20:49What?
20:50Get dressed up,
20:51go out to a nice dinner,
20:52then maybe we'll go dancing.
20:54I mean, tell Don,
20:55let's party.
20:59That sounds like
21:00a lot of fun.
21:01Doesn't it?
21:02It does.
21:03It does.
21:04Huh?
21:06Or
21:10we could eat cereal
21:11in bed
21:12and read our books.
21:15I was hoping
21:16you'd say that.
21:18Oh, high fiber for me.
21:19It's easier to digest.
21:21Preaching to the choir.
21:26Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky.
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