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مسلسل My Lady Jane مترجم - Episode 1
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00:07Transcription by CastingWords
00:08Long, long ago, in a land not that far away,
00:11a succession of kings believed God granted them the right to rule England however they chose.
00:18You know Henry VIII, giant red-headed Tudor king,
00:21treated his wives like Kleenex one blow and you're out.
00:24Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.
00:29Next on the throne was his son, Edward.
00:33Oh dear, when he died, the kingdom expected the crown to go to his half-sisters,
00:38Mary or even Elizabeth, but instead came a total bloody shocker.
00:42Lady Jane Grey.
00:46Intellectual rebel, a bit of a pain in the arse,
00:49and a political pawn for her ambitious noble family.
00:52Jane was married without her consent and crowned queen against her will.
00:56Then, just nine days later, she was branded a traitor.
01:02And, wham, off with her head.
01:07Jane could have been the leader England needed,
01:10but instead history remembers her as the ultimate damsel in distress.
01:15Fuck that. What if history were different?
01:20Never do anything you don't want to do.
01:22I do want it though, Lady Jane.
01:25Well then my advice is if his member looks pustular, don't shag him.
01:28Wise words, Susannah.
01:30I made this salve to cure you rich.
01:32Aren't you clever?
01:34Isn't she clever?
01:35So, when's my cunny set for shagging?
01:38A few weeks.
01:40I can't abstain for a few weeks.
01:42Could you?
01:43I couldn't.
01:44Jane wouldn't know.
01:45She's a lady.
01:46Saving herself for marriage.
01:47Saving myself for myself actually.
01:49In fact, I may never marry.
01:54Yes, mock the person who's curing your vagina.
01:58How will you live?
02:00What will you do?
02:01What would your mother say?
02:02Lady Frances doesn't know.
02:03I don't really care what she thinks.
02:05I've got bigger plans.
02:06Go on, tell her.
02:08I'm writing the world's first complete compendium
02:10of England's medicinal herbs and their uses.
02:13Herbs.
02:14Herbs.
02:14Herbs.
02:16Text and drawings for those who can't read.
02:19I intend to publish it and sell it.
02:21Perhaps I can make enough money to actually live independently.
02:24Where is the bloody calendula officinalis?
02:27Jane.
02:28Found it.
02:28The Duke of Leicester is coming.
02:30Bollocks.
02:30Is that today?
02:32She told me to get flowers.
02:35Use it twice a day.
02:45Jane, look.
02:47Me stable boy.
02:49Losh.
02:50He's teaching me how to ride.
02:52They put you down.
02:53They say I'm wrong.
02:55You tacky thing.
02:57You put them on.
02:59Level, level, put on your dress.
03:03Level, level, your face is a mess.
03:06Level, level, how could they go?
03:09I'm catching.
03:11I love you so.
03:19I love you so.
03:21How'd you chew them?
03:23Shut up, Margaret.
03:23Oh, lovely.
03:24Shut up, Catherine.
03:25Shut up, all of you.
03:26And smile.
03:27Earn your key.
03:28When Jane's father died with no male heir, his great uncle once removed, the Duke of Leicester, inherited everything, leaving
03:38the grey widow and daughters dependent on Leicester's charity for their very survival.
03:51Dastardly crowds on the London Road were hanging at Chepster.
03:54Oh, no.
03:55What a bother.
03:56I think we should burn them all.
03:58Margaret.
03:58I quite agree, Poppet.
04:01The latest division laws stipulate death for the trespassing Aethian menace, but not method.
04:08And interpretation is the enemy of efficiency.
04:14You've grown up, haven't you?
04:16Yes, you can.
04:19You'll be prettier if you smiled.
04:22Would I?
04:23Your Grace.
04:23Now, do you have the...
04:29Elevation eases my gout.
04:32Cherries are good for that.
04:34You know I read that...
04:35You read?
04:36In a book?
04:38I never permitted my wives, all dead in childbirth, the fruits of my loins are very large.
04:47I never permitted any of them to read or even own any books at all.
04:52Yes, why did you burden us with all this education, Mother?
04:55Because stupid women are tedious.
04:56What about stupid men?
04:58Eh?
04:58What's that?
04:59Oh, nothing, nothing, Your Grace.
05:00Lester, pray tell.
05:01Do you have the confirmation?
05:03Ah!
05:03Yes, indeed I do.
05:05Jane!
05:06Sweet child.
05:07We have secured for you the most thrilling honor one can bestow upon a young noble woman.
05:16Your marriage.
05:17Oh, shit.
05:20My marriage?
05:23What?
05:24What would you say to believe that you're going to die a ring?
05:27Shut up!
05:28I'm sorry.
05:29You should be.
05:31You're wrong about everything.
05:32I do not look prettier when I smile.
05:34And I am not destined to be wretched.
05:37I am...
05:37Overwhelmed by the wonderful news.
05:39Now I will escort Jane to her chambers.
05:42Come along.
05:43Forgive her, Your Grace.
05:45I don't.
05:47How dare you plot my life with that cretin!
05:49You drove me to this.
05:50But I don't want to be married!
05:52You no longer define your life by what you don't want.
05:55You refuse to discuss suitors, or hunt, or dance, or do anything except for gossip with
06:01your servant and fiddle with those infernal herbs and books.
06:04Lord Guilford Dudley will be your husband.
06:08Guilford Dudley?
06:11Guilford Dudley?
06:13I've heard of him.
06:14The girls at court say he's vile.
06:16He...
06:16He drinks, fights, gambles.
06:18He cavorts with women of ill repute.
06:20He is the last man I would ever marry.
06:23Jane, this marriage protects us.
06:25Lester will soon tire of his charity towards us.
06:28And I do not intend to leave my house for a wretched hovel in Croydon.
06:32Your father left us nothing.
06:34Our only wealth is blood.
06:37And you are pure Veritian cousin to the king.
06:40The Dudleys will do anything for power.
06:42And they are very, very, very rich.
06:45You mercenary bitch.
06:48We do not do that anymore.
06:51In three days' time, you will be wed.
06:55I will do everything in my power to get out of this marriage.
07:00Jane, you have no power.
07:05My book.
07:08Where is my book?
07:10What did you do?
07:13I threw that wretched thing on the fire.
07:34There comes a point in everyone's life when you realise you simply cannot put up with your mother's bullshit for
07:41another moment.
07:55Tell me what pleases you.
07:59How this works.
08:08What, let's go.
08:13What, let's go.
08:25Okay.
08:34We're leaving.
08:35I was rather enjoying that.
08:37Wait, what did you say?
08:38We're leaving now. Right now.
08:40We'll go north. Find a village when everybody knows us.
08:42I'll make my cures and you can sell them.
08:44Are you crazy?
08:44I have been trapped here my entire life.
08:46If I marry, I will be trapped somewhere else.
08:48Now that is crazy.
08:49Jane, you don't know what it's like here.
08:50You sound like...
08:53Like my mother.
08:54It's nearly dawn. We must hurry.
08:56It's very dangerous.
08:57Aethians, the pack. People talk of civil war.
08:59You don't really believe that now, do you?
09:01I mean, when's the last time you even saw an Aethian?
09:03What do you know? You don't go anywhere.
09:06Jane, when I was a kid...
09:08Your family kicked you out?
09:10Yes, you told me.
09:11There was a man involved.
09:12No, that's not... You won't be safe.
09:15I will never be safe when my mother is trying to barter me.
09:19I want my life to be mine.
09:21Forever.
09:23Jane.
09:23Then stay.
09:25I'll be fine on my own.
09:26You'll be dead in a week.
09:30We'll need some money.
09:33Do I have a ring?
09:35My sweet mother is a sound sleeper.
09:37The only time I feel alright is by your side.
09:43Oh, I want to be with you all the night time all day.
09:49Throw the old path from Arlo.
09:51Hop the river barge.
09:52Start our lives.
09:54I want to be with you all the night time all day.
10:04I want to be with you all the night.
10:06I want to be with you all the night.
10:06Wait, Jane.
10:07What?
10:10What's that sound?
10:17Run.
10:29Come on.
10:31I'm coming.
10:38I'm coming...
10:53Stop!
10:54They're here!
10:58That's the thief that stole my ring and kidnapped my daughter.
11:01She did it!
11:02Let go of her!
11:03It was me!
11:04It was me!
11:05Get off me, you langer!
11:06It was not you.
11:07Understand?
11:08I forced it to come!
11:09Your maid will be hanged for stealing if she doesn't die in prison first.
11:16Jane, forgive me.
11:25Aethion.
11:26Have you forgotten the punishment for hiding Aethion?
11:30I had no idea.
11:31Then you're a fool.
11:33Go home!
11:43A hawk.
11:45Yes, Susannah is a hawk.
11:48Did I mention that in this world,
11:50some people can transform themselves into an animal?
11:53They're called Aethions.
11:55Everyone else, like Jane, is Verity.
11:58Jane has always known about Aethions, of course.
12:01She just never expected that her maid, her friend, was one of them.
12:06Jane was taught that Aethions are dangerous abominations sent by Satan to destroy the Verity way of life.
12:13Poppycock, of course.
12:14As an Aethion, you can't choose your animal form, but you can switch back and forth whenever you please.
12:21Aethionism skips generations and pops up now and again, usually in puberty during a moment of high emotion.
12:28One minute you're fighting with your sister, the next, bam, you're a badger.
12:33It's just one of those things you're born with, like being left-handed or the colour of your eyes.
12:39For decades, Aethions have been reviled, persecuted, banned, and then King Henry, renowned shithead that he was,
12:46exiled them to the wilderness where they must hunt, beg or steal to survive.
12:53Jane has always wondered what it's like to be an Aethion, but she'd never known one in real life.
13:01And real life, as we know, can be a real kick in the tits.
13:07Why is Jane sulking?
13:08Mummy's right. Jane's just been difficult.
13:11Oh, how typical of you to be on her side.
13:14Ow! Not fair! I wasn't ready!
13:17I've an idea.
13:18Let's test all the servants with the dunking to see if they're Aethion.
13:21A dunking?
13:23And who will feed you and make you friars when all the servants are dead?
13:28Take this!
13:29Ah! Margaret, you're right!
13:33I tricked you.
13:34Faint blood. Margaret!
13:36That's cheating!
13:38You mispronounced. Winning.
13:47Where are you going?
13:51Where is she going?
13:52To London to see Lord Dudley.
13:54I'm in your wedding!
14:05Hey! Follow that barge!
14:09Follow that barge!
14:27Lady Frances.
14:29Lord Dudley.
14:32And Lady Jane?
14:34I wasn't expecting my future daughter-in-law.
14:38Welcome!
14:42As you can see, we're installing new tapestries for the nuptials straight from Firenze.
14:49We're braised hog, peacock pie, jellied egret, and my own favourite, roast dolphin.
14:55Oh, yum!
14:56Now, musical players. How do we feel about the French?
15:00Tepid.
15:01I know. Filthy beast lovers. But the tunes.
15:05I must say, I'm enchanted to finally meet you. Everybody tells me you're very, very clever.
15:11Yes, I think my mother rather regrets my education.
15:13That's absolute.
15:14I jest.
15:16My cousin, King Edward and I shared tutors as children.
15:20He's my oldest friend.
15:21Well, kings don't have friends.
15:23They have subjects. And counsellors like moi.
15:26My lord, I'm here to meet your son.
15:28I'm afraid Guildford isn't here. He's out. He's busy doing things.
15:32Things.
15:34Drinking and or fighting.
15:36Indisposed with a woman of fiscal virtue.
15:38Oh yes, I know all about those nerves.
15:41I quite understand. It's a big day.
15:44Now, do you know my other son, Stan, is also engaged? To a Bavarian princess.
15:49Really?
15:50Oh yes.
15:51Is she very rich?
15:52Filthy. Terrible outbreak of the plague there at the moment, so the wedding is postponed.
15:56But as I said to him, if she can survive the plague, she can survive marriage.
16:08Actually, Dudley and I have a marriage contract to discuss.
16:11I would like to say something first.
16:14Again? By all means, my dear girl.
16:16I don't want to marry your son.
16:20Nobody cares what you want.
16:23Now, when you buy a tapestry, you're not buying it for yourself, you're buying it for your descendants.
16:42Oh, I missed that. Spare some silver!
16:44I'd like a little coin. Come on then.
16:46I thought you wanted it. Come on, jump higher.
16:49Come on, jump higher. Come on, jump higher.
16:50Come on, here.
16:51Oh, you...
16:52Shit!
16:54Stop that! Stop!
16:56How dare you hurt that child.
16:58It's accosted me.
16:59You were teasing him. I saw it.
17:02What else are saying? Are you hurt?
17:03Is that worse?
17:06Give him those coins.
17:07No.
17:09Do it.
17:12Certainly, my lady.
17:15Oopsie.
17:17Really?
17:18Teach him a lesson about the evils of begging.
17:21Pox on you, fuckface!
17:24Watch out. They have fleas.
17:30Who is that man?
17:32Lord Dudley's son. He's a prick.
17:37That's Guilford Dudley.
17:40Jane knows that marrying such a prat is incon-fucking-ceivable.
17:47Jane needs a miracle.
17:49And the only people who can perform miracles are saints.
17:56And kings.
18:03King Edward took the throne at nine years old, after his father, King Henry, finally kicked the royal bucket.
18:12Edward's life changed from spending carefree days with his beloved cousin, Jane, to being told by bossy-boots counsellors how
18:20to rule his own bloody kingdom.
18:22Three, two, one, go!
18:25Including, but not limited to, reading poorly written proclamations targeting Aethians.
18:36Is there a problem, Your Majesty?
18:45My men.
18:50I would that I could be by your side, on this day, and that you would call me friend.
18:56He's gone completely off script.
18:58Indeed, Lonson.
18:59Dead the champ?
19:00I'll never know the rush of combat.
19:04Or the joy of brotherhood in arms.
19:07But what I can give you is my unending respect and gratitude for your bravery and valour.
19:15So that we may assure our people they are safe in England forever.
19:22Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
19:30Your Majesty.
19:35Shall we?
19:39Just...
19:40Wait until everyone's gone.
19:42Who are those new soldiers on the Black Horses?
19:44I told you!
19:45Remember?
19:46Kingsland Guards.
19:47An elite force to protect you from the Aethian menace plaguing our land.
19:53First point of order.
19:56Beasts were caught sneaking into Grimsby.
20:00It was the pack.
20:02Yes? Yes?
20:03The so-called Aethian resistance.
20:07Beastly thugs and in clear violation of division law.
20:12No Aethian is permitted in verity cities, towns or properties under pain of death.
20:19Sentenced to death?
20:20Of course, to the law.
20:22But you told me there is plenty of food for them in the wild.
20:24Why must they sneak into Grimsby?
20:26The mind boggles.
20:27I mean, have you ever been to Grimsby?
20:30Don't kill them, just put them back in the woods or something.
20:36My cousin Lady Jane Grey is here.
20:39Dismiss all of you.
20:40Out.
20:49Your Majesty.
20:50Stop it.
20:52How are you feeling?
20:53How's the cold?
20:54It's fine.
20:55Ghastly.
20:56It's fine.
20:57You know.
20:57Say hello to my new doggy.
20:59Petunia.
21:00Hello, Petunia.
21:01It's a very devoted little thing.
21:03It's not letting you out of her sight.
21:04She's beautiful.
21:05Tell me, Janie, how are your sisters?
21:07Is Margaret still pulling wings of butterflies?
21:10Shall we take some air?
21:18I have terrible news.
21:20My mother's forcing me to marry.
21:22Will you intervene?
21:25Jane, I've already approved it.
21:27Oh.
21:29Why?
21:31Why would you ever approve my marriage without my consent?
21:34Be logical.
21:35It is your duty to protect your family.
21:38I do not choose to marry.
21:39You think I chose this life?
21:41We're all born to certain roles.
21:43Our destiny is set.
21:45Anyway, what else would you possibly do?
21:47I do not want to be a wife.
21:49Just some man's property.
21:50Well, I do not want to be a dying king, but here we are.
21:52You're not dying.
21:56Are you?
22:01I have the affliction.
22:04Do you think I'll be the first to recover?
22:09The kingdom is in chaos.
22:12I'm doing my best, but soon I'll be gone.
22:14No.
22:15No, don't say that.
22:18This is the real world.
22:21The kings die.
22:23Noble women marry.
22:26Now, as to the chap in question,
22:30he cannot be that bad.
22:33His pater is one of my counsellors.
22:36You'll quickly improve him the way that you improved me.
22:40Did I need improving though?
22:42That is the question.
22:48I always thought
22:50marriage sounded rather fun.
22:52A partner.
22:54A friend.
22:57Someone to make you laugh.
22:58Tell you that you're not alone.
23:01I always thought
23:02I'd only marry if I could choose the man myself.
23:06Janie.
23:08That's just silly.
23:13Princess Mary and Princess Elizabeth,
23:16Bess for short,
23:17are the discarded offspring of two of King Henry's most unfortunate wives.
23:22Their brother, Edward, is youngest,
23:24but the first to get the crown because of...
23:27You know, his penis.
23:32Your Royal Highnesses?
23:34Where's our brother?
23:36He's in the gardens.
23:37Perambulating with Lady Jane Grey.
23:40Lady Jane Grey.
23:54Sisters!
23:57Your Majesty!
24:01Medicines!
24:02I see more pie.
24:04You look terrible.
24:05I don't think I look that bad, actually.
24:07Hello, brother.
24:08Cousin Jane.
24:09Your highness says it's a pleasure.
24:11Sweet, Bess.
24:12Jane and I, we were having some...
24:13Blackberry pie.
24:15Your favourite.
24:19Mary, thank you.
24:23How awful, brother.
24:25The affliction is such a dreadful way to die.
24:28Cough and cough until you cough your lungs.
24:31Edward?
24:32Brother?
24:34Edward!
24:36Jane!
24:38Oh, he can't breathe.
24:39It's the affliction.
24:40Guards, fetch Dr. Bart!
24:41We need pulmonaria.
24:43Uh, lungwort.
24:44The lilac flower.
24:46Plant it over there, please.
24:48Look at me.
24:48Harry!
24:53Jane!
24:54Jane!
25:02Sorry.
25:10Jane saved the king's life.
25:11Jane saved the king's life.
25:12Jane saved the king's life.
25:13I am here!
25:14Oh, Dr. Bart.
25:15I am here.
25:21Another attack.
25:22Oh dear me.
25:23I forgot my forceps.
25:26You may wish to avert your eyes.
25:29I'm going in.
25:35That was exciting, wasn't it?
25:38Exciting?
25:39I can't leave Edward like this.
25:41Will you check if your medic has elf doc?
25:43It's her.
25:44His Majesty enjoys the finest medical care in the kingdom.
25:47Ta-ta!
25:57Let's go!
26:00Might I venture a suggestion, Your Highness?
26:05Boiled kitten tea with urine.
26:09An old man's urine, ideally.
26:13Oh, lovely. Lovely.
26:15No kitten tea. Thank you.
26:19Your Majesty, I only just heard.
26:21Oh, finally he turns up.
26:23Where is Jane?
26:24Why, I sent her home.
26:27I think the time has come to appoint your successor.
26:31I know.
26:33I'm not afraid of death.
26:35Well, that's not true. I'm petrified.
26:36You have the strength of a thousand lions.
26:39Your Majesty, it is incumbent upon me as Lord Protector
26:41to confirm that your eldest sister Mary
26:44is indeed the rightful heir to the throne
26:46and the only choice to keep our kingdom safe
26:48from the rampaging hordes of satanic beasts.
26:52Must you be so dramatic?
26:55The entire kingdom agrees.
26:58I do not agree.
27:00Let's just take a beat for a moment and think about this.
27:03Now, Princess Mary's mother, Catherine,
27:07was originally married to your father's brother, Arthur,
27:11the heir apparent.
27:12Remember that old chestnut?
27:14Now, when Artie died, of course,
27:17she claimed non-consummation
27:19so that she could declare Virgo intacta,
27:23get an annulment and marry the new king.
27:25But, I mean, come on.
27:27Who are we kidding?
27:28Spaniards?
27:31And anyway, Henry went on to divorce Catherine.
27:35So, is Mary's claim even legally valid, you see?
27:39Technically, she's a bastard.
27:41Now, what about Princess Bess?
27:44Her mother was an Aethian.
27:45The people would never accept it?
27:47You're absolutely right.
27:49Seymour.
27:50Now, what if there was somebody else?
27:53Someone with direct royal lineage, perhaps,
27:57engaged to a highborn verity?
28:00Someone who could, oh, I don't know, golly,
28:03wear the crown until such time as they could produce a son?
28:08Lady Jane.
28:09Lady Jane Grey?
28:10Your cousin?
28:11Oh, what a marvellous idea.
28:13Queen Jane?
28:14It's a terrible idea.
28:16Well, this is Royal Highness's idea.
28:18Are you saying it's terrible?
28:19Well, she's a girl.
28:21Girls can't rule.
28:22Jane could rule with our help
28:24until such time as her son can be king.
28:26What a happy coincidence.
28:28Jane's husband-to-be is your son.
28:31The future king would be his grandson.
28:34Oh, my.
28:34I hadn't thought of that.
28:35Queen Jane.
28:36That's absurd.
28:37Has a ring to it, doesn't it?
28:39Sort of squabbling.
28:40I have made my choice.
28:44Take my will to the chantry for safekeeping.
28:46You may only open this in the event of my death
28:49and not before.
28:59I say, do you think this will take you very much longer?
29:02No.
29:04I shall take a horse.
29:05I don't live very far.
29:07It would seem I wouldn't approve, my lady.
29:09Well, he certainly wouldn't approve of my catching my death
29:12in the cold, and neither would my cousin.
29:15The king?
29:20Dudley, you swinish snake.
29:23Swine and a snake.
29:25This matter of succession.
29:26I bow to King Edward's wishes, whatever they may be.
29:29May the devil take you, Dudley.
29:31You know, you really must calm down.
29:33This level of anger, it's simply toxic.
29:35I can't.
29:36Breathe, my dear man.
29:38Let us hope he favors the rightful inheritor
29:40in Princess Mary.
29:42If he names Lady Jane,
29:43I cannot be responsible for what happens next.
29:46Of course you'd not be responsible for what happens next.
29:49You'd be superfluous.
29:52Now, if you'll excuse me,
29:54I have a wedding to plan.
30:01Lord Seymour?
30:10I've already made my choice.
30:12I need to rest.
30:14Majesty.
30:15You must be.
30:17Princess Mary's Blackberry Clash is dope, isn't she?
30:19Always looking out for your health.
30:21I've just tuned in.
30:23Guns!
30:24Take this mutt to the kennel and kill it.
30:27No!
30:27You are weak in mind and body.
30:29This thing needs to be destroyed
30:30and I shall take great pleasure in doing it myself.
30:32Do not touch my dog.
30:39Dismissed.
30:45For the first time in Jane's entire life,
30:48no one knows where she is.
30:51She is alone and free.
30:54She can finally escape,
30:56ride north,
30:56discover,
30:57no,
30:58create her destiny.
31:01Wait a minute.
31:02What's that?
31:05Guards.
31:06A search party,
31:07clearly sent by King Edward and slash
31:09or her dratted mother
31:10to find her.
31:12But,
31:13as they say in the classics,
31:15not today,
31:16Satan.
31:19Jane needs somewhere to hide.
31:21Like an empty woodsman's hut
31:23or a nice hay bale
31:24somewhere no one
31:25would ever think
31:26to look.
31:43You told me that
31:44it just couldn't be
31:47you'd want to go out with me.
31:50Oh, my God.
31:51Oh, my God.
31:52Oh, my God.
31:54Oh, my God.
31:54Oh, my God.
31:55Oh, my God.
31:55Oh, my God.
31:55You cheated, you gotcha.
31:56Do not, you dumb fuck.
31:58Oh, my God.
31:58You can wish me.
31:59Oh, my God.
32:00Oh, my God.
32:01Whoa, whoa, whoa.
32:01Do you mind if I interrupt?
32:04Arm wrestling
32:05is an ancient art.
32:08The winner must be humble
32:10and the loser gracious.
32:12Go shag a beast,
32:13you posh wanker.
32:13Yeah, fuck off.
32:15Very well.
32:16I'll face the fuck.
32:20And now we're going to gut you.
32:22Gut me with what?
32:26Are you looking for these?
32:39And now I have your attention.
32:41Shall I torture you
32:43with a poem?
32:46No.
32:47Too late.
32:49May a mess provisitum
32:51in to burn a mori
32:52who will be vena
32:53proxima morientis.
32:56Hooray!
32:58Thank you!
32:59Have a drink!
33:01Please, come on.
33:03There we go!
33:18Let us take a moment
33:19to reassure our viewers
33:20that there is no such thing
33:22as love at first sight,
33:24but lust at first sight.
33:28Oh, yes.
33:31Totally a thing.
33:33So do you...
33:35come here often?
33:37Jane is the first person
33:38in history to ever
33:39use that line
33:40and two seconds later
33:43the first to regret it.
33:46Wow.
33:47Oops.
33:48That's your response.
33:49So you could recite
33:50the arch poet
33:51standing on a table
33:51in a dirt floor tavern
33:52but you can't muster
33:53a simple apology.
33:54I said oops.
33:56You mispronounced
33:57weiner, by the way.
33:59Veiner.
34:00Where'd you learn
34:00your Latin?
34:01In a ditch.
34:02Who would teach
34:03Latin in a ditch?
34:04Oh, you're missing the point.
34:05The point being.
34:05Your mediocre Latin
34:06in disappointing table manners.
34:08That we had a table?
34:09No.
34:09Again, missing the point.
34:11Has anybody ever told you
34:11that you're an insufferable pedant?
34:13Oh, where I come from
34:15pedantry is a virtue.
34:16Where I come from
34:16amiability trumps semantics.
34:18Amiability is for the meek.
34:19Amiability is for the amiable.
34:22You were the rudest man
34:22I've ever met.
34:23Well, the knight is young.
34:25Mingled.
34:26Oh, I intend to.
34:29Good night.
34:30Wait.
34:34Who are you?
34:35Who are you?
34:37Excuse me.
34:38No.
34:39No.
34:40You lot can't be here.
34:42Who just came for a drink, mate?
34:43I don't want any trouble.
34:45He's asking you nicely.
34:47No trouble.
34:49You heard my word.
34:50And I said, no.
34:51Leave.
34:53Why is he getting them out?
34:56Good evening!
34:59Come with me.
35:00That's it.
35:01What?
35:03Oh, sh...
35:04I said,
35:05good evening,
35:06my good people.
35:07We have it
35:08on excellent authority
35:10that a certain beast
35:12might be in here.
35:13Goes by the name of Archer.
35:17He's wanted for
35:18robbery,
35:20arson,
35:21sedition.
35:22Sedition?
35:23That's a new one.
35:23Well, I do try.
35:28Hunting scum
35:29makes me ever so thirsty.
35:39Hand him over
35:40or we dunk
35:42every last
35:43one of you.
35:48What do you think?
35:49You up for it?
35:51Yeah, fuck it.
35:53Why don't you leave him alone,
35:54you bunch of thugs?
35:57I'm Archer.
36:01Then you're coming
36:02with me.
36:06Right, let's go.
36:18This door leads outside.
36:19Kill that fucking man!
36:37This is madness.
36:39Whenever things were like this...
36:40You've never seen a bear
36:41in a barbiful?
36:43Take the move!
37:00Hey!
37:02Hey!
37:03More guards are coming!
37:04Archer, Archer, we're here!
37:06Let's get out of here now!
37:07Susanna!
37:09Susanna?
37:10Susanna, come on!
37:27Susanna, come on!
37:30Let's go!
37:31I'm so sorry.
37:32It's all mine.
37:33What have you here?
37:34Beast or maiden?
37:36Maiden.
37:36A verity maiden in bridges.
37:38I don't think so.
37:38Susanna, go!
37:42Aiding in the betting
37:43Satan's spawn.
37:44That'll be exile for you.
37:45Exile sounds fine, actually.
37:47How about a nice dunking instead?
37:49Take her away!
37:57Eels.
38:00Yummy.
38:03Shall we have a nibble?
38:04Oh.
38:09Your majesty.
38:10Oh, Elysian!
38:11Calm down and listen to me.
38:13Your great-grandmother sent me.
38:14Oh, you lie.
38:15My great-grandmother is dead.
38:16God!
38:17Is she?
38:18Then who gave me this?
38:22To be Ezra Cross.
38:24She was buried with it.
38:25No, she wasn't.
38:27She's alive.
38:28And she sent me here because she suspected that you do not have the affliction.
38:32And she was right.
38:34You are being poisoned.
38:36I can smell it in your food.
38:38I know.
38:38It's a lot to process.
38:41No, no, that actually explains a lot.
38:43We must go to her.
38:44Now.
38:44But who is poisoning me?
38:46I don't know.
38:48But we need to get you out of here.
38:51Sorry.
38:52Do you have something that I could wear?
38:54We're not normally so stark as when we change, but I was.
38:58Because, do you know, it's a long story.
39:00I'll tell you about it some other time.
39:02There's a robe just there.
39:03Cheers.
39:04At this moment, Edward has two major revelations.
39:08One, the dog girl is telling the truth.
39:11And two, he is not interested in women, romantically.
39:15He always imagined girls look like men without their clothes.
39:19Edward has led, let us remember, a deeply sheltered life.
39:24Now, you get dressed.
39:26And we will be off.
39:28Like a tart snickers.
39:29I'm not going anywhere with you.
39:30What?
39:31Why not?
39:32Well, until about five minutes ago, you were a dog.
39:34And I am the king, and someone is trying to kill me.
39:37I must find them and punish them, obviously.
39:39But...
39:40I have spoken.
39:41Granny will be most vexed.
39:44Come in.
39:51Not hungry, Your Majesty?
39:54No.
39:56Take it away.
40:10Dearest Petunia, I think you might have saved my life.
40:16Good evening, Your Majesty.
40:28How's my baby brother?
40:31Waker than a Sicilian's virtue.
40:35And his will for succession is...
40:37Done.
40:41However...
40:43However...
40:45However...
40:48Did something happen?
40:50No.
40:51Tell me what happened.
40:52Nothing happened.
40:54You are the natural choice pudding pie.
40:57The entire kingdom wants you and you alone to succeed him.
41:02I will be queen.
41:05And I will cleanse England of Satan's beasts.
41:10Hmm.
41:11And I will not have...
41:13any nasty surprises.
41:17Oh, no, please!
41:20Ah, yes.
41:21A dunking.
41:22Torture to force a suspected Aethion to change.
41:27Or die.
41:37Right!
41:38Who's next?
41:40What about her?
41:41What?
41:42Fjell won a skate.
41:43Might be a beef.
41:44No, I'm not Aethion.
41:46I'm not...
41:46No, I'm not...
41:47Don't you!
41:48No!
41:48No!
41:49No!
41:50Please, please!
41:51I will change your drowns!
41:52You're hurting me!
41:54That's the point, Mark.
41:55Stop!
41:58That is Lady Jane Grey, cousin to his majesty, King Edward.
42:04And I am ordering you to cease drowning her immediately.
42:11Ah!
42:14Ah!
42:16Ah!
42:16Ah!
42:16Ah!
42:17Ah!
42:19Ah!
42:27I shall have those men flocked to death.
42:30It's as close as Francis will ever get to saying,
42:34I love you.
42:36Mother, about the wedding.
42:40Please.
42:44Please don't make me marry him.
42:47I'll only say this once.
42:51If you don't marry Guildford Dudley tomorrow,
42:55I shall be forced to marry your sister Catherine to the Duke of Leicester,
43:01toe and all.
43:02You wouldn't.
43:04Try me.
43:18If only Jane could think of another way out of her unwanted wedding.
43:23But her thoughts keep drifting back to the tavern
43:27and that intriguing yet infuriating young man.
43:30Not spending more time with intriguing yet infuriating young men in taverns
43:35was one of the chief injustices of Jane's life.
43:38Her existence would be all injustice now.
43:42Marriage, motherhood, death.
43:44In quick succession if statistics are anything to go by.
43:48Die, kitty, die!
43:50Bec if you're alive!
43:51Ha!
43:51Margaret, get out!
43:52You know the servants hate it when you get your fake blood on everything.
44:03Wait, come back!
44:04Margaret, come back!
44:13My heart beats heavy
44:15There's something out there
44:17I swear I'm not ready
44:19And I don't really know where to go from here
44:35Leave them wanting less.
44:37I can feel it
44:53All I can feel is
44:55Feel it
44:57All I can feel is burning
45:01What?
45:03You'll do, I suppose.
45:05Feet still hurt
45:07And I think I lost sight
45:09Of where I was going
45:11And I don't really know where to go from here
45:16Cause all I can feel is burning
45:19Cause all I can feel is burning
45:20Cause I don't get out of my head
45:23Do something that I regret
45:24He says it now with someone he met
45:26Losing my sanity
45:27Get rid of my vanity
45:29All I can feel is
45:31Feel it
45:32All I can feel is burning
45:37Caught inside of a dark night
45:41And I left me standing
45:46And I left me standing
45:47By my chair
45:53Oh yes, frequenter of taverns, seeker of trouble, son of Lord Dudley, and lust object of one Lady Jane Grey,
46:04may I present Jane's husband-to-be, Lord Guildford Dudley.
46:10Dearly beloved
46:12We are gathered here today
46:14To witness the joining
46:16Of Lady Jane Grey
46:18And Lord Guildford Dudley
46:21In the sacred blessing
46:23Of holy matrimony
46:25Lord Guildford Dudley
46:29What?
46:31Oh, um
46:37I, Guildford
46:39Take thee
46:41Jane
46:43To be my
46:49My
46:55My wedded wife
46:58To have and to hold
47:00From this day forward
47:03I
47:04I plight thee
47:05My troth
47:05And Lady Jane Grey
47:12I
47:14Jane
47:15Have a little
47:18Something
47:21And
47:44Jane
47:46It's the affliction
48:12Well, well, well, so many questions
48:15Will Jane marry the notorious Guilford Dudley?
48:19Will King Edward be murdered by his deranged sister, Mary?
48:24I will be queen
48:25Will Susanna survive in exile?
48:29You'll find out, because our story has only just begun
48:32Tell me everything
48:34And once Jane
48:35And once Jane is stuck in her insufferable marriage
48:38I'm your lord husband
48:39To the most infuriating
48:41You'll need a dagger
48:41That's not a dagger
48:43This is a dagger
48:44And attractive man she's ever met
48:53And living in a world fraught with danger
48:56Somebody at court
48:57Is poisoning me
48:58And division
48:59The entire kingdom
49:00Is at stake
49:01She realises perhaps
49:03She doesn't know everything after all
49:05Bollocks
49:06Just when life can't get any more complicated
49:09My lady
49:10His majesty is dead
49:11Jane is named queen of England
49:14Nothing's more important than the monarchy
49:16Quite
49:17Quite
49:18Quite
49:22Now she's surrounded by scoundrels
49:25Traitors
49:26Sycophants
49:27Reprobates
49:28Fools
49:30Murderers
49:31Have fun getting yourself killed
49:32I will, thank you
49:33And worst of all
49:35Her mother
49:36To me
49:36They do rather fancy mummykins
49:42Ready for an epic tale of true love and high adventure
49:45The country wants to change
49:47I could heal England
49:50It sounds to me like you're giving up
49:52I've never given up on anything in my entire life
49:54Really
49:55Really
49:55Then prove it
49:57Of course you are
49:59Jane
49:59If you don't escape now you'll die
50:02Fuck that
50:03Settle in my darlings
50:05This is my lady
50:07Jane
50:08Come
50:08The kingdom awaits
50:09I'm famous now
50:11The kingdom beneath
50:12Tub hotikum
50:12The
50:13kingdom Is
50:13Am
50:13For
50:13kingdomSi
50:14Oooh You
50:38I
50:39Sh
50:41And
50:42Put your father in a world
50:45She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl
50:49Hey babe, your head's all bright
50:53Hey babe, let's go out tonight
50:56You're like me and I like it all
51:00You like dancing and look divine
51:03You love bands when they're playing hard
51:07You want more and you want it fast
51:10They put you down, they say I'm gone
51:14You tacky thing, you put them on
51:18Level, level, put on your dress
51:22Level, level, your face is a mess
51:25Level, level, how could they know
51:29Hot trip, I love you so
51:35Don't ya
51:39Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:47do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:49do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:52do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:52do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:54do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
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