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مسلسل Ghosts مترجم - Episode 3
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00:11Who are you?
00:12We are ghosts.
00:13While most spirits pass on to the afterlife, we are cursed to spend eternity.
00:18Oh, and she's gone.
00:19Now what's gonna happen to the house?
00:21This is huge.
00:22And it's all ours.
00:23This must be them, the new folks that own the house.
00:27Watch out!
00:32Oh my God.
00:33Sam, Sam!
00:34It seems as if your accident left you so close to death that you somehow gained the ability to actually
00:39see dead people.
00:40They're here, they're all behind you.
00:42Hello?
00:43I don't see anybody.
00:44There's a bunch of zombies down here.
00:46Zombies?
00:47Zombies aren't real.
00:48We're ghosts.
00:49Okay, fine.
00:50I see all of you.
00:51I admit your existence.
00:53Happy?
00:54What?
00:56You're not even listening to me.
00:57Babe, you're not listening to me.
01:00The livings!
01:01They are fighting!
01:02Ooh, nothing better than watching a good husband-wife argument.
01:05What's the B?
01:05He wants to fix the roof, and she wants to fix the fountain.
01:09Ah, home renovation, a classic of the genre.
01:11Shall we go spectate?
01:13I mean, we're literally watching paint dry.
01:16These new glosses are fantastic.
01:18But yeah, fight's probably more interesting.
01:23So imagine, you're a guest driving up to our B&B, and the first thing you see is this giant
01:28gleaming fountain.
01:28Look, babe, nobody loves a fancy fountain more than I do.
01:32But he's going to pivot back to the roof.
01:34I think we need to focus on the bigger picture, which is the roof.
01:38Oh, you nailed that!
01:40Please be quiet!
01:41Excuse me, am I not allowed to have an opinion?
01:43I was talking to the ghosts.
01:45Right, because ghosts are a real thing, and my wife talks to them now.
01:48Wait, are they in here?
01:50Yes, they are, and they are very annoying.
01:52Well, that's uncalled for.
01:53That's real hard.
01:54Look, I didn't want to bring this up, but I did give in on moving here for you.
01:59Somebody's playing card of guilt.
02:01I gave up my job.
02:02I gave up my friends.
02:03I know, and I appreciate you.
02:07But we're going to have to fix the fountain eventually.
02:09And just so you know, the ghosts agree with me.
02:12Oh!
02:12I should make a big fuss!
02:13It's so hot.
02:16So, shall I talk to the contractor?
02:18Sure.
02:19Why not?
02:20There you go.
02:21Bravo!
02:22Bravo!
02:23Well done.
02:25All right.
02:27Love you.
02:29So, back to the pain.
02:31Oh, I wonder if it dried lighter.
02:34Let's go see.
02:42Sam, quick favor.
02:44Could you look up all the Mets scores for me for the last 37 years?
02:47And I'd like to know how all my stocks performed after I died.
02:50My big three were Circuit City, Enron, and Blockbuster.
02:52This Spotify thing.
02:54Am I on there?
02:55Oh, I'd love to hear some of my old recordings instead of that racket Jay's been listening to.
02:59Guys, could you just give me a minute?
03:01I really have to finish this article.
03:02Sam, I'd love to smell some pizza.
03:04Any chance of you throwing one in the oven?
03:05I actually already ate.
03:06Yeah, a salad.
03:07What am I supposed to do with that?
03:08So, again, the Mets?
03:09Ah, Pete, you gotta take a number.
03:10You're in line behind us.
03:11Guys, just tell me how many RBIs Keith Hernandez had in 87.
03:14Give me something.
03:14At the very least, just take a piece of toast.
03:16Do not ignore him.
03:16Wait, it takes two seconds.
03:18Guys!
03:19Guys, I get that it's cool that you have access to a living now, but you cannot just bombard me
03:23with questions all day.
03:25So, why don't you choose a representative and that person and that person only can come to me with requests.
03:30Well, how are we supposed to pick who does that?
03:32I don't know.
03:32Have an election.
03:33Are you okay, ma'am?
03:36Yeah, just on Bluetooth.
03:39And, in summary, do the election.
03:43I don't even know what she pretended to be doing.
03:45There's something with the fountain I need to show you and Jay.
03:47Oh, uh, okay.
03:48Yeah.
03:48That's not gonna be good news.
03:49I probably should have done the roof.
03:50Shut up, Pete!
03:53My name is Mark.
03:54Yeah, of course it is.
03:57Bye, Pete.
03:58Boop, boop.
04:01We were trying to figure out how this thing is fed.
04:03We came across some cast iron piping.
04:05That'll have to be swapped out.
04:06That sounds cheap.
04:07Well, that's not what I needed to show you.
04:09While we were digging, we found this.
04:12Oh, my God.
04:14Is that...
04:15That's right.
04:16Human remains.
04:19Oh, my God.
04:21Who is that?
04:24Hey, that's me.
04:30Are you sure that's you, Thor?
04:32Yeah, I died right there.
04:33I watched my flesh rot and my bones swalleled by the earth for hundreds of years.
04:38It's pretty cool.
04:39The thing is, I gotta report it to the county.
04:41No!
04:41They'll investigate, and if they declared a crime scene, the whole site gets shut down.
04:45Project could get delayed for months.
04:46A month?
04:47Months?
04:48Months?
04:49What if the bones were really old?
04:51Like, uh, like Viking bones, just to randomly name some type of really old bones.
04:56Pretty sure there weren't any Vikings around here.
04:58He lies!
05:00Well, actually...
05:01Here we go.
05:02We sailed down the coast from lands...
05:04Vikings sailed down the coast from lands...
05:05Sent sorties...
05:06From Canada.
05:07Sent sorties inland to search for furs...
05:10Beavers, otters, moose...
05:11Otters, moose...
05:12And when you find moose, much plenty you shall have.
05:14And when you find moose, much plenty you shall have.
05:18Okay.
05:18She really loves the show Vikings.
05:20Well, if it is Viking, they'll reach out to the state archaeology department.
05:24They call in the nerds with the toothbrushes.
05:26The whole thing takes longer.
05:27Sorry, guys.
05:28First thing tomorrow, I gotta call us in.
05:29This is so bad.
05:31We cannot afford a months-long delay.
05:33We have loans to repay.
05:34I'll give you a piece of advice.
05:35My bootlegger boyfriend used to live by.
05:37Get rid of the damn body.
05:40What if the bones just disappeared?
05:43What are you talking about?
05:44What if he came back tomorrow, and the bones were just gone?
05:46And then there's no reason to call the county.
05:48No bones, no problem.
05:50Who are you?
05:55While I'm having a moment of lucidity, can we just go over this one more time?
05:58Sure.
05:59Sam wants us to select a ghost representative to funnel all of our requests through.
06:03Right on.
06:04So now who is Sam?
06:05Am I Sam?
06:05And the moment's passed.
06:06So now we can't even approach Samantha?
06:09There's no way to treat a human being.
06:10Who are we, my butler?
06:12Okay, so I guess we just vote?
06:13Five.
06:14Yeah.
06:14Yeah.
06:14Let's do it.
06:17Oh, if only it were that simple.
06:20No, my friends.
06:22Democracy, though the best form of government, is a tedious and flawed process.
06:27There will be hours of debate.
06:29Long, boring speeches we'll have to sit through.
06:32Or we could dispense with all of that.
06:35Pick me and be done with it.
06:37Great.
06:38I'll let you win.
06:39Done.
06:39Wonderful.
06:40You've chosen wisely, my friends.
06:41Now, it is tradition for the victor to give some remarks.
06:45Don't worry.
06:46I'll keep it to a brisk hour.
06:47I knew from an early age.
06:49Ah, screw it.
06:50I'm running against this windbag.
06:52Ooh.
06:53What?
06:54Not because I want the gig.
06:55I just don't want him to have it.
06:56What?
06:57This is ridiculous.
06:59You were a singer.
07:00I was at the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
07:03No, you weren't.
07:04I was outside.
07:05They started early.
07:07Point is, I practically invented democracy.
07:10Actually, indigenous governments were the model for American federalism, so.
07:13But, electoral college and the powdered wig.
07:16Oh, my.
07:17Come on.
07:18Oh, pop some popcorn because this is about to get good.
07:21We also invented popcorn.
07:22You're welcome.
07:25Oh, this can't be legal.
07:27This is a crime.
07:28We're committing a crime.
07:29It's victimless.
07:30The victim is literally here saying it's okay.
07:33Yeah, it's cool.
07:34So, how did you end up here?
07:35Well, I fell in love with a white girl with a cute, cute butt, and then she inherited a haunted
07:39house, and then...
07:39Babe, I'm talking to Thorfinn.
07:41Well, it was a long time ago.
07:44Seven winters after the Battle of Svoder.
07:47I was tracking beasts across the land when a great storm gathered.
07:52But before I could find shelter...
07:59In retrospect, a metal hammer was probably not a great idea.
08:02Oh, my God.
08:03He was struck by lightning.
08:05What are we going to do with these?
08:07I mean him.
08:07I mean you.
08:08Sorry to point at you with your own bone.
08:12Viking funeral.
08:13What?
08:14What'd he say?
08:14Every Viking boy from very little dreams of dying horrifically and having a most triumphant Viking funeral.
08:21It's a very special day.
08:24But Thor will never have one.
08:27He wants a Viking funeral.
08:29What?
08:30Like we shoot a flaming arrow and burn the bones in a boat?
08:33Yes!
08:34Yes!
08:34Small man knows!
08:36Yep.
08:37That does sound kind of cool.
08:39And it would be a great way to get rid of the evidence.
08:41I beg of you.
08:42I will forever be in your debt.
08:44It seems really important to him.
08:46Okay, big guy.
08:47Then I just have one ask.
08:50Can I shoot the flaming arrow?
08:51I married a nine-year-old.
08:52I like small man.
08:54He is fun.
08:56Yeah, it was crazy.
08:58We came downstairs and we were like, whoa!
08:59And the bones, they were just gone.
09:04So you don't have to call the county anymore, huh?
09:07Which is good.
09:08All right.
09:09So they're just gone.
09:10Yeah.
09:11Must have been an animal, wild dog.
09:15Y'all got wild dogs out here?
09:16Hey, man, I don't really care.
09:17I didn't want this site shut down either.
09:19That being said, I was talking to a buddy of mine.
09:20He said that if the bones were actually Viking, it could be worth a pretty penny.
09:26Really?
09:26Yeah.
09:27The museum would definitely buy them.
09:29But you don't have them, right?
09:30Nah.
09:32Sucks about those wild dogs.
09:41Sam?
09:42So, can I count on your support, Hedy?
09:46Well, I do believe that women should have each other's backs.
09:49Yes.
09:50No.
09:50But I don't believe that women should be allowed to vote.
09:53I won't get into the who's and why's, but it has something to do with overtaxing the female brain.
09:58What the hell?
09:59Oh, come on, Hedy!
10:00I fully endorse your position, which is why you should vote for me.
10:04Illegitimate, though, that vote may be.
10:09Okay, so that should be everything.
10:12I found an old canoe out in the boathouse by the pond, and Jay has been practicing with his arrow.
10:16And mead.
10:17I'll need mead.
10:18Watch you and small man drink.
10:20Yes.
10:21We don't have any mead?
10:22No mead.
10:23Well, so what do you drink at your orgies?
10:26Bro, Viking life sounds awesome.
10:28You know, I was wondering, if funerals are so important in your culture, how come you never had one?
10:34Told you.
10:36Alone on a mission.
10:37Yeah, I know, but when you didn't, you know, return, could they not find you, or...
10:42Don't interrogate, doll.
10:44Let's talk more, brew mead.
10:47What was that all about?
10:48Well, it's a complicated time.
10:50There's obviously a lot of emotion wrapped up with this whole funeral.
10:53Plus, it's been a thousand years since his last orgy.
10:56Big guy's a little pent up.
11:00You got a sec?
11:01It's about your vote.
11:02Please, not this again.
11:03Just let me say my piece.
11:06Oh.
11:07When you were alive, women couldn't vote.
11:10And when I was alive, we got the vote, but they didn't make it easy.
11:12And for people like me, it was still almost impossible, because the man didn't want to give up that power.
11:19Man, the man tried to make us wear bras and shave our pits.
11:24Drop acid, not bombs.
11:26Woo!
11:28Okay.
11:29The point is, too many people work too hard and sacrifice too much for you to just throw this away.
11:43Alberta, you have my vote.
11:45Oh, yes!
11:46Look at that.
11:47I use my female brain to exercise my rights, and I don't feel the vapors coming on at all.
11:51Wait, hold on.
11:53No, I'm good.
11:54Hey.
11:55Hey.
11:56Are we alone right now?
11:57Yes.
11:58Okay, check this out.
11:59Turns out Viking bones are actually really rare and very valuable.
12:03Really?
12:04Yeah, I called the Natural History Museum in Albany, and they say that if the bones are genuine, they'll buy
12:09them.
12:09Well, for how much?
12:10Enough to pay for the fountain and the roof.
12:13And extra money to put a boost in the kitchen like Chip and Joanna did in the last season.
12:18The Christmas episode?
12:19Empty nesters looking to downsize?
12:21That's what I'm talking about, baby.
12:23But I already told Thorfinn.
12:25I know, and I wish there was another way, but we need the money.
12:29You know, as much as it pains me to say, I think we got to sell that big Viking's bones.
12:35Okay, you're right.
12:38How are you going to break it to him?
12:40Um, I will figure something out.
12:42It's going to be great for us.
12:44I'm excited.
12:46Please stop.
12:47Die, little man!
12:51So you're saying we get to vote for this ghost representative thing?
12:55Oh, absolutely.
12:56Yeah, you're no different than those of us who live upstairs.
12:59Not too close, my dear friend.
13:01Wow, no one ever thinks of us.
13:03Oh, but I do.
13:03I think of you.
13:04In fact, I will have vivid memories of this conversation for a long, long time.
13:10So, can I count on your vote?
13:11Hmm?
13:12I promise, if elected, your voice will be heard.
13:15So, um, okay, you know what?
13:17Thank you so much for your support.
13:19I'm a man of the people.
13:20Good day.
13:21Oh, my God.
13:24Hmm, look at the poor brute.
13:26This is all my fault.
13:27Don't worry, he'll get over it in, like, 50 years.
13:29He might mention a Norse curse, but we don't think that's real.
13:31I mean, you know why we did it, right?
13:33It's not like Jay and I had a choice, right?
13:35Sure.
13:35Sure, although part of me did wonder if, in finally getting his funeral, we might see the
13:39big oaf get sucked off.
13:41Excuse me?
13:42Sometimes, very rare occasions, when a ghost is able to resolve a long-standing issue,
13:46the heavens open up, and whoosh, they get sucked off.
13:51Yeah, we all dream of getting sucked off.
13:53And that's the term that you guys decided...
13:55No, don't tell them, please.
13:57This is all I have.
13:59Let me get this straight.
14:00So, if we had the funeral, there's a chance that Thor might go up?
14:04Get sucked off.
14:05Mm-hmm.
14:06But again, rarely happens.
14:07I've seen it maybe once.
14:08But if it did, we'd never see him again.
14:11Like, ever.
14:12He deserves it, though.
14:13Would love to see the big guy get sucked off.
14:15It would be lovely.
14:19Hey, Thor, we just came in to see how you're doing.
14:22He grunted.
14:23Thor, I'm really sorry about the funeral, but listen, we're kind of stretched financially
14:27right now.
14:28We literally owe thousands of penningars.
14:33I looked up Viking money.
14:34Do what you must, but know this.
14:38Jorgen Munda, the Midgard Serpent, will be visiting you when your knight sleeps, and
14:42your firstborn child will have head of cabbage.
14:46Okay, are we good?
14:47What's he saying?
14:47It's not great.
14:49Do you want to know the real reason why I did not get Viking funeral?
14:52Why shipmates did not find Thorfinn?
14:55Thor will never tell anyone this.
14:58The reason why I was wandering here alone was because I was left behind.
15:24They abandoned me for reasons unknown.
15:28Oh, Thor.
15:29Sam, you stay strong, woman.
15:33And now you have abandoned me, too.
15:41His shipmates abandoned him.
15:43Jay, the ghost told me that if we help him, there's a small chance he could get...
15:47He could move on to the afterlife.
15:50Oh.
15:51Ah.
15:52Sam, we really need the money.
15:53Yes, we could use the money, but we would survive without it.
15:56He's been here a thousand years.
15:58Look, I know he's a ghost, but if we don't help him, aren't we the real monsters?
16:04Babe, that was so poetic.
16:05I know, right?
16:08Oh, all right.
16:10Fine, fine.
16:11Funeral's back on.
16:12Hey, Thor, buddy.
16:13Funeral's back on.
16:14Oh, no.
16:15He left the room.
16:16Okay.
16:16This is getting really confusing.
16:17We got to work on this.
16:18Thor!
16:19Thor!
16:19Thor!
16:20The funeral's on!
16:21Yes!
16:22By the fangs of Fenra.
16:24I thank you.
16:27Yay!
16:28Oh, so about that curse.
16:30Can't be undone.
16:32Sorry.
16:32What curse?
16:35It gives me great pleasure to cast the deciding vote for Alberta, who made me realize that women
16:43should vote, although I'm still against them going to college.
16:46Baby steps.
16:48Isaac, you ran a good campaign, just not as good as mine.
16:52Point of order, I believe not all the votes have been counted.
16:57Oh, God.
16:58You may have thought your upstairs votes were all that mattered, but true democracy leaves
17:03no one behind, and they stand with me, but not too close, not too close.
17:08Well, this seems a little underhanded.
17:10That the coronation proceed.
17:13Oh, yeah.
17:14We're all voting for creepy Dirk.
17:19But that would make him the winner.
17:22So, uh, when do I get to talk to the lady that smells good?
17:28Yeah, democracy is broken.
17:29It's a flawed system, everyone.
17:32All right, now remember, just like we talked about, keep your back straight.
17:35Keep your back straight.
17:36Now pull back slowly, but evenly.
17:37Now pull back.
17:38I would take Pete's advice on this with a grain of salt.
17:41With the first joints of your index and middle fingers.
17:46Yeah!
17:49Bravo, bravo.
17:50Thor wants to thank Samantha and Smallman for making Special Day possible.
17:55Though I wish you would have secured me, but we'll let that go.
17:59You're welcome, Thor.
18:00Mm-hmm.
18:02Ha-ha!
18:03Sometimes you meet a bro, and you're like, this is a bro.
18:06I just wanted to say that even though neither of us won the election, you have won my respect.
18:11Where's this going?
18:13I resorted to dirty tricks, and you, you inspired people.
18:17That's the mark of a truly talented politician.
18:19Well, you know, I do have that star quality.
18:21Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you don't.
18:24No, it's a fair critique.
18:25I was never the type the commoners like to have an ale with.
18:29Those dirty, filthy, ignorant commoners.
18:31Hard to see why they didn't like you.
18:33Agreed.
18:33It's a mystery.
18:35Now is typically time when we have orgy, but orgy without mead is very awkward.
18:44Oh, it's happening!
18:46He is getting sucked off.
18:48By the eye of the Allfather!
18:51Bull hauler!
18:53Wait!
18:56Thorfinn, I love you.
18:58I've always loved you.
19:00Why do you wait till now to say this?
19:02So many years wasted.
19:04Please extinguish the fire in the middle of the pond.
19:07You do not have a permit.
19:09Sorry.
19:10Yeah, I'll take care of it right now.
19:17So, now seems like we have second chance.
19:21You know, I think I kind of got caught up in the moment.
19:23Yeah.
19:24And I don't really want to be tied down.
19:27Moving on.
19:28Yeah.
19:29Not in love.
19:30Cool, cool, cool.
19:31Thank you for doing all this.
19:32It really meant a lot to him.
19:34I'm glad.
19:34And, um, don't worry about the house and everything.
19:37We got a lot to fix up, but we'll figure it out.
19:41Custom booth would have been nice.
19:42It would have been a game changer.
19:44But I gotta say, watching my man fire that arrow, pretty hot.
19:49Indeed.
19:50The fire, the fire is what's hot.
19:52As fire is.
19:53And no one can argue with that.
19:55So.
19:57How are you, big guy?
19:59I am happy.
20:00It was not time for Thor to be sucked off.
20:04Shipmates may have abandoned Thor, but you did not.
20:09And that goes for all of you.
20:11You have never abandoned me.
20:13And for that, I am thankful.
20:17How can we abandon him?
20:19We literally can't wait.
20:20Shh.
20:21Just let him have this.
20:23We wouldn't have been.
20:24Rejoice.
20:25Woo.
20:25Yeah.
20:26All right.
20:27Let's do it.
20:34So we'll meet down here once a week to go over the ghost request.
20:38Uh-huh.
20:38First request, this comes from Stuart.
20:41Do you mind if he smells you?
20:44Nope.
20:44Not doing this.
20:45Sorry, guys.
20:45Bye-bye.
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