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مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 5
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00:00Oh
01:30Honey, this is destined to become a classic.
01:32What is this, the third time you've watched it?
01:34I've got everything, action, drama, latex painting.
01:37God, I look good and that best, don't I?
01:39No, really, honey, I'm so cold.
01:41Would you go down and check the furnace?
01:43Because I think that the pilot light must be out.
01:46You're saying lighting a pilot's a man's job?
01:48No, I'm saying it's your job.
01:53Look, you're afraid to go down that deep, dark basement, aren't you?
01:56No, I'm not afraid.
01:58I just don't like it, you know, when the furnace goes whoosh.
02:01All right, I'll light the pilot light if I get a big kiss.
02:04Do I have to?
02:05You have to.
02:06Okay, but only if I really have to.
02:09Oh, gross!
02:10It's not even dark yet.
02:13Ignore them, maybe they'll go away.
02:15No, honey, you really, you have to do the furnace now.
02:19Because Mark's full scout trip is coming over and I don't want a house full of little frozen cub sickles.
02:24Right away.
02:28Dad, Dad, check this out.
02:29I can share a future with these cards.
02:32A kid at school showed me how.
02:33I got the three diamonds.
02:35That means I'm going to be rich.
02:37Okay, fourth card from the top is your card.
02:39Deal it, buddy.
02:40One, two, three.
02:43Ha!
02:44Ace of spados, read it and weep.
02:47What?
02:49It's a death card, Dad.
02:52Yeah, right.
02:53Let me deal those and cut them like a man.
02:56Ugh!
02:57Ugh!
02:58Ugh!
02:59Okay.
03:00Let's see it now.
03:02Cars, cash, big homes, boats.
03:05Death.
03:07Double death.
03:09Yeah, how long do you think I have?
03:11How long enough to light your furnace?
03:12She's right.
03:13We got work to do.
03:14Down the basement.
03:15Because one day, boys,
03:18you will have
03:19a cold woman of your own.
03:21You have to learn how to light her furnace.
03:23Come on, come on.
03:24Down the basement.
03:25Come on, guys.
03:27Okay, guys.
03:30Come on down to the basement.
03:32The climate control central, our house.
03:34Now watch what you're doing.
03:44I want you guys to meet a friend of mine.
03:47The Binford Volcano Master 5000.
03:52A quantum leap ahead of the 4000 model,
03:54which we replaced earlier this year.
03:56This is 150,000 BTUs.
04:00What's a BTU?
04:02Technical term.
04:07Yeah, but what's it stand for?
04:10U is because it's a unit.
04:14B is because it's a big, beautiful Binford.
04:16That's B.
04:17T is heat.
04:19Big heat unit.
04:20That's what this is.
04:24Dad, heat starts with H.
04:25Give me that flashlight, will you?
04:27Dad, heat starts with H.
04:29Heat ends with T.
04:30Heat, heat.
04:31Heat, heat.
04:35Now, working on a furnace is a delicate operation,
04:37almost like working on a time bomb.
04:40Wow, that's how he's going to die.
04:42He's going to blow himself up.
04:45Well, that's not how I'm going to die,
04:47because your dad is going to practice furnace safety tips.
04:52Okay, the access panel here says,
04:54press button, hold 15 seconds, and...
04:57Open your mouth,
04:58and the shockwaves from the blast will make your head explode.
05:1213, 14, 15.
05:16No explosion, no death.
05:18Why?
05:18Why?
05:19Because your dad laughs in the face of fear.
05:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:23Ha, ha.
05:25Excuse me, fellas.
05:26Jill, set it back to Otto, and the heat is now working, hon.
05:37What was that?
05:39Shh.
05:41Be very quiet.
05:43What is it?
05:47I think it's over there behind the boxes.
05:53Boy, I hope it's not that.
05:54It couldn't be.
05:55What?
05:56What?
05:57Yesterday at the zoo, I read that a panther escaped.
06:01Yeah, I'm not kidding.
06:05Don't make any sudden moves.
06:07Just head toward the stairs.
06:09It could be anywhere.
06:12It could be...
06:22It's just a mouse or something, probably.
06:25What if it's not a mouse?
06:27It could be a snake.
06:28Hey, there's nothing funny about snakes.
06:31Don't joke about that.
06:32There's nothing funny about slimy reptiles.
06:35Nothing.
06:37Hey, maybe it's a big-ass python.
06:39Enough, enough.
06:41It's a mouse.
06:42A mouse.
06:44Of course, it could be a huge one.
06:46It likes to eat little kids like you.
06:48Just...
06:53Hey, hey.
06:54Do I have to put in speed bumps?
06:57Mom?
06:58Yeah?
06:59What are we gonna make?
07:00I am going to have the whole scout troop make their own paper bag masks.
07:10Is that all?
07:12Billy's mom helped us make a real TV.
07:14She did?
07:15Yeah, and she made us beef jerky from raw meat.
07:21Billy's mom is a Stepford wife.
07:24You're getting pizza and paper bag masks.
07:29Well, I guess I better put on my uniform.
07:38Bunny, mission accomplished.
07:40Furnace is lit, operational.
07:43That, however, is the good news.
07:46The good news?
07:47What's the bad news?
07:48Well, I can't tell you.
07:50You'll probably go crazy.
07:50Oh, please.
07:51I never go crazy.
07:53I found something soft and furry that rhymes with house.
07:56Oh, God.
07:57There's a famous one named Mickey.
08:01It's a mouse.
08:04God, a mouse with beady little eyes and toe-jammy little nails.
08:11Jill, it's just a little innocent thing.
08:14Kim, they are dirty, they carry disease, they eat garbage.
08:18So do the boys.
08:19You're not afraid of them.
08:23Yes, I am.
08:27You hear that?
08:30Tim, don't!
08:32I thought I heard toenails, toe-jammy things.
08:35Stop it!
08:36Just stop it!
08:37They're so little and they're so quick, they just run out of anywhere and right at people's
08:40backs like...
08:41Just quack!
08:42Hey, hey.
08:44It's in the basement.
08:45Get off the chair, please.
08:46Go.
08:47Will you please just call an exterminator?
08:50Exterminator?
08:51No.
08:51Pest control is my domain.
08:54Termites fear me.
08:56Mice whisper my name.
08:58Hey, forget it, the cheese.
09:00Come back to the hole.
09:01It's Tim.
09:01Come on, come on.
09:03He'll kill you.
09:04He'll kill you.
09:05I'll go see if Wilson has any traps.
09:08No, no.
09:08Don't kill it.
09:10From filthy little vermin to your fuzzy little friend.
09:13Where did that start?
09:14Well, just because I don't like it doesn't mean I want to see it dead.
09:18Otherwise, I'd have set traps for your mother years ago.
09:23Trap wouldn't stop her.
09:28She'd just chew her leg off.
09:34Wilson!
09:35Hi, ho, neighbor.
09:37Hey, Wilson, do you have any of those humane traps for mice?
09:40Since when did you become a trapper, Tim?
09:42Well, Wilson, I think I heard a mouse in my basement,
09:45and Jill got real freaked out over that itty-bitty thing.
09:47Can you believe that?
09:48Well, fear is perfectly natural.
09:51Everybody's afraid of something.
09:53What about you, Wilson?
09:54What are you afraid of?
09:56I do have one underlying fear, Tim.
10:01I'm afraid that reality as we know it is someone else's dream.
10:05And when the dreamer wakes, I'll no longer exist.
10:16Wilson, I wouldn't share that with too many people.
10:20Back to the trap thing.
10:22Sure, good buddy.
10:23So you said you heard noises in the kitchen?
10:26No, in the basement.
10:27In the basement?
10:28Yeah.
10:29You've been hearing all sorts of, what, scratchy noises?
10:31Well, it's kind of more of a rustling.
10:34Rustling?
10:35Yeah.
10:39Tim, my boy, I don't think you have a problem with mice.
10:41Right.
10:42No, no, no.
10:43It sounds like you might have a snake.
10:44Go!
10:45Go!
10:46You're scared of snakes, Tim.
10:48Oof, man.
10:50Hey, snakes are supposed to live in the woods.
10:52Well, this whole area used to be woods, Tim,
10:54but as man has taken over his habitat,
10:56they've become suburban snakes.
11:00Suburban snakes?
11:01Where they, like, work here, commute back to the woods, eh?
11:05No, they could be right here living in your own backyard,
11:08or somebody in the neighborhood could be breeding snakes.
11:11All you need is a cardboard box and a light bulb.
11:14What kind of sicko would breed snakes?
11:17Well, Tim, snakes are clean, low-maintenance pets.
11:21Plus, they have a very firm, nutty-tasting flesh.
11:28So, what's the deal?
11:30Are you going to set some traps?
11:31Wilson doesn't think we need one.
11:33I'm calling the exterminator.
11:36Why?
11:37He doesn't think we have mice.
11:40Oh, no, it's a rat.
11:42Worse.
11:43Snake.
11:44Snake?
11:45Where?
11:47Oh, no, God, not a snake.
11:50Wait a minute.
11:52Didn't you tell me that you saw a mouse?
11:55Well, I didn't see it in the visual sense.
11:57Well, you jerk, you lied to me.
11:59I didn't lie, I was kidding.
12:02Kidding?
12:02Mom, Dad, come look what I found in your face.
12:04Just a second, Randy, just a second.
12:06Kidding?
12:06You were just torturing me with all those little mouse sounds.
12:09Well, come on, what's the big deal?
12:12Everybody likes to be scared.
12:13It's fun.
12:14Fun.
12:15Dad.
12:16What is it?
12:16God, look, oh, oh, holy.
12:19I found a snake skin.
12:21Ah!
12:22It's fun.
12:23Is it a fun?
12:24Is it a fun?
12:28Dad, did you know the deadliest snake in the world is a carpet piper?
12:32It has enough poison to kill ten men.
12:35Brad, has that exterminator found anything down there?
12:38Not yet.
12:40Damn, honey, what's taking him so long?
12:42Tim, we have a yard full of children.
12:44We're supposed to be setting an example.
12:46You've got to calm down.
12:47Have a cookie.
12:48Hot cookie?
12:49Oh, what?
12:50Sorry.
12:51Yeah, the exterminator wants to borrow a screwdriver.
12:54Well, you know they are in the top tray.
12:55Open it up and get it yourself.
12:56No.
12:57You always say not to touch your tools.
12:59You better get them on.
13:00What's he want?
13:01Standard, Davis, Phillips, Flathead, what?
13:03Flathead.
13:05All righty.
13:14Find a snake?
13:15Sorry.
13:16Did my best, but I didn't find a thing.
13:19Nothing cool ever happens around here.
13:21Randy, you're telling me there's not a snake in this house?
13:24Oh, it probably moseyed on back outside.
13:27That happens nine times out of ten.
13:29Nine times out of ten.
13:31Uh-huh.
13:33What happens the other time?
13:36I tell you, it's funny.
13:38Those snakes, yeah, they pop right up out of the strangest places.
13:41Boy, I could write a book.
13:43Oh, yeah.
13:44Yeah, I've seen them curl up inside of teapots.
13:49Oh, there's one time.
13:51There's one time.
13:51Pop right up out of the toilet.
13:57Of course, like I said, that's rare.
14:01Besides, you don't have anything to worry about, judging from that skin your boy found.
14:04It's not poisonous.
14:05Well, I'll see you, folks.
14:07Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
14:08Would you like to stay and have a cup of coffee?
14:11I've got lots of appointments.
14:13Well, toodaloo.
14:14Bye.
14:15Mom, Jimmy Widener wants to go home.
14:18Why?
14:19He got the death card.
14:21Randy!
14:23Come on, don't be a weenie.
14:25Everybody's got to die somehow.
14:27Hey, guys, get away from me.
14:29Come on, go back in the house.
14:30Go back in the house.
14:32You all right?
14:33I don't want to die.
14:36I mean, you're not going to die.
14:38But I got the death card.
14:39Don't forget the death card.
14:41I got two death cards a day, and I didn't die.
14:43They were teasing you.
14:44But I'm scared.
14:46Oh, boy, come here.
14:48Everybody's scared of something.
14:50Are you ever afraid?
14:52My dad's never afraid.
14:54He's the bravest man in the whole world.
14:57You guys, Ollie, even brave guys get afraid.
15:00You know what a brave man does when he's afraid?
15:04What?
15:06He scares away fear.
15:09Jimmy, you've got to be scarier than fear itself.
15:12That's what you've got to do.
15:13How do you do that?
15:14Well, look at me.
15:16Get a real ugly face on.
15:19Pretty ugly, huh?
15:21And you look at fear, and you go, you grunt.
15:24Wow.
15:26Can you try that?
15:29Well, that would work if you had just a little fear.
15:31It's a big fear.
15:32You've got to get a deep-down, manly grunt.
15:33Mark, show me what I'm talking about.
15:36See how scary that guy looks?
15:38You guys try it.
15:42Very good and very ugly.
15:44All right, try it.
15:45Give me one good one.
15:47I need a real good two in a row.
15:51All right, three in a row.
15:52Let's do it.
15:54Come on, guys.
15:56There's no fear here.
15:58Get out of here, fear.
16:03Mom, would you order pizza?
16:06Pizza!
16:08Hey, you guys stay out here in Francis Grunton.
16:11I'll get the pizza.
16:14Number for the pizza place, and buy the phone.
16:16Thanks, Jill.
16:18Oh.
16:22Hi.
16:23How many pizzas will we need?
16:25Four large, but, you know, get different toppings.
16:28All right.
16:29I need four larges with two meat.
16:31Hold on a minute.
16:32Is anybody allergic to anything out there?
16:34Jimmy's allergic to everything.
16:36It's not.
16:37All right, all right, all right.
16:39Apparently, we need a big cheese pizza with decongestant all over.
16:44I'm kidding around, fella.
16:47All right, two cheese, one with pepperoni and sausage on.
16:50Oh, and a snake!
16:51That is a snake in my house.
16:53Right there.
16:54That is a snake.
16:55Okay, okay.
16:55Everybody, quiet down.
16:56Stay right.
16:57Tim, Tim, hang up the phone.
16:58I'll call the exterminator on the other phone.
17:00Oh.
17:00Oh.
17:05Why don't you get the snake out, Dad?
17:07Why don't you shut up, Randy?
17:09Shut up.
17:10Oh, what's the snake out?
17:12Hey.
17:14My dad, just stick your finger in the light.
17:16When the snake bites it, pull him out.
17:20Can we talk for a minute?
17:21Maybe he didn't hear Dad the first time.
17:23Shut up.
17:26Okay, I've got the exterminator on the phone, but he says he can't come for an hour.
17:29An hour?
17:30Where's he gonna crawl in an hour?
17:31Who knows?
17:32Okay, he says that you should look in the light fixture and see if the snake is still there.
17:37Right.
17:38Can I talk to him for a minute?
17:39Yeah.
17:39Uh-huh.
17:40Uh-huh.
17:41Oh, you're right.
17:42He says you're supposed to look in the light fixture and see if it's still there.
17:45Me?
17:46Me?
17:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:47I think you should do it.
17:48I'm so busy right now.
17:50Tim, get over there and look in that light fixture.
17:53I don't want to.
17:55Go ahead, Mr. Taylor.
17:57You're not afraid.
17:58Are you, Mr. Taylor?
17:59My dad's not afraid of anything.
18:01Show him, Dad.
18:02Show him you're not scared.
18:11Let's get ourselves a snake.
18:13Yeah!
18:14All right.
18:15Cutscales.
18:16Outside.
18:17I'm sorry.
18:18I'm sorry.
18:18You can watch it in class.
18:19Thanks.
18:19Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.
18:21All right.
18:22Brad, I need a pillowcase out of your bedroom.
18:24Hurry up.
18:25Okay.
18:26What do you say?
18:27He says, reach in that little tiny opening, get that little tiny snake by the back of his
18:32little tiny neck, pull him out of that little tiny hole, and put him gently in a pillowcase.
18:38You're gonna do that?
18:39That's his plan.
18:40My plan?
18:44I'm gonna rip that light fixture right off that wall, shove that into a pillowcase.
18:50All right, all right, Brad, Brad, stand right there, under the light, and I'll jump that
18:54snake right in there.
18:56No way.
18:57No way.
18:59Come on, Randy, help me out.
19:00Oh, forget it.
19:05Okay, I'll do it.
19:07Does that make you happy your mom's doing it?
19:09It's fine by us.
19:11Thanks, guys.
19:19Ready?
19:21Ready.
19:22Calm?
19:25No, I can't.
19:28Oh.
19:44Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
19:47Oh, I got it.
19:49I got it.
19:49I got it.
19:49I got it.
19:50It's all.
19:52Yes.
20:01There it is, boys.
20:03Plan your work.
20:04Work your plan.
20:06The key to success.
20:07Heh, heh, heh.
20:13Dad.
20:14Yeah?
20:15There's a snake behind you.
20:18Oh, I bet there is.
20:25Dad, you're serious.
20:27It's right behind you.
20:29Does it have that card of death in its mouth?
20:34You know, guys, I fell for that trick this morning.
20:37Toolbox, remember that?
20:38Heh?
20:39And you can take a practical joke too far.
20:41You know that.
20:41Dad, we're not joking.
20:43It's moving towards you.
20:44Why don't I just open my shirt and let him crawl right in, huh?
20:51You know, the snake wasn't in the bag.
20:55The snake is in my shop!
20:59Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
21:04oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
21:10Here you go, Hunt.
21:12Hey, thanks.
21:13How are you feeling?
21:15Stupid.
21:20Felt like a jerk in front of those Cub Scouts today.
21:23Ah, they had a great time and they learned some colorful new vocabulary.
21:30Here, Dad, I made this for you.
21:33What is it?
21:34It's a snake badge for bravery.
21:37Hey, that's very impressive.
21:40Would you wear it on your TV show?
21:43You bet I would.
21:45Mmm, you're a good kid.
21:47Good night, Dad.
21:48Good night.
21:50Good night, sweetie.
21:53Good night, Mommy.
21:56My youngest son gave me a snake badge for bravery.
22:00Well, you did get rid of that snake.
22:03Yeah, but in all honesty, I couldn't have done it without you.
22:06I think it's yours.
22:08Well, we'll share it.
22:11You know, I think we deserve a little pampering.
22:15Hmm?
22:16How would you like to have a nice hot bath with bubbles?
22:20I'd like that. Bubbles.
22:43Hey.
22:45Go!
22:58Guys, now we've already seen his hands.
23:01Take it over.
23:02Do it.
23:04Do it.
23:06Do it.
23:06Do it.
23:06Do it.
23:06Do it.
23:06Do it.
23:06Do it.
23:09Do it.
23:10Do it.
23:12Do it.
23:16Do it.
23:33.
23:39.
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