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مسلسل Animal Control مترجم - Episode 1
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00:05If you're going to make me pick you up, I expect coffee.
00:08There'll be one waiting for you tomorrow.
00:10Any other requests?
00:11Yeah.
00:12Get your car fixed.
00:14I'm going to win you over, bro.
00:15It's going to happen.
00:16Calling me bro shows the depth of your miscalculation.
00:20Truck 12, report of a small animal in the attic at 187 South Kenzie.
00:24Truck 12 responding.
00:29Four play dates, a Spider-Man birthday party, two trips to urgent care, and my parents
00:33are in town.
00:33Let's just go ahead and say that they have opinions.
00:35How was your weekend?
00:36Yeah, pretty good.
00:37I went to a club.
00:38There were definitely drugs.
00:40I woke up naked on some boat near Whidbey Island.
00:43What about the other people on the boat?
00:44Also naked, yeah.
00:45Right.
00:47Look, it's not personal.
00:48Just a lone wolf type of guy.
00:51All last year, I had no partner, and it was heaven.
00:54And this is so much worse.
00:58So I guess it is personal.
01:02Hey, I'm thinking of getting a puppy.
01:05Look at her.
01:06Little mother.
01:06Why would you do that?
01:07You have all the freedom in the world.
01:08Yeah, but I envy you sometimes.
01:10I live alone.
01:11It might be nice to have a dog around.
01:12Well, I have two.
01:13You can just have one.
01:14One of them's incontinent for that extra feeling of agonizing responsibility.
01:17If that's what you're looking for.
01:20Maybe I'll just get a bird.
01:21Get a bird.
01:22Get a bird.
01:23All right.
01:24You wait here.
01:25It's a good coffee place up the block.
01:29Rookie always pays.
01:31Oh, yeah.
01:32Hazing recognized and accepted.
01:37So I'll take a caram...
01:45What's up?
01:46Hey, coming in?
01:47Oh, yeah.
01:48For sure.
01:48It's just going to be one minute.
01:50I think my partner will be right back.
01:51I don't have a minute.
01:52It's my 10th anniversary, and I surprise my wife with brunch, and whatever's up there is killing the mood.
01:57Listen, man, it's my first week.
01:59I should really wait for backup.
02:01You know what I mean?
02:02Come on.
02:02My wife's libido is very delicate.
02:04Help a guy out.
02:08Yeah, so my name's Fred, but everyone calls me Shred, because I used to be a professional snowboarder.
02:14Mostly half pipe, a couple silvers at nationals, and then I tore my ACL.
02:18How long is this going to take?
02:19Not long at all.
02:21If I had to guess, it's probably just a sweet little guy who...
02:28My eye!
02:29Your walkie went into my eye!
02:31I'm sorry, it's just...
02:32The teeth is like a tiny, furry vampire.
02:36I underestimated...
02:42I'm not under the auto...
02:43Okay, everyone, stay calm.
02:45I got this.
02:47It's okay, weasel, or whatever you are.
02:50We're going to take you to the coolest park in the city,
02:53and these people are going to celebrate...
02:56Dude!
02:57Dude!
02:59Bad choice!
03:00Oh!
03:01What do we do?
03:05Oh, little buddy!
03:08I got this.
03:10Oh!
03:11Come on!
03:13Go, go, quickly.
03:18We're not catching a break here.
03:20Oh!
03:21It's on the couch!
03:23You've got to be kidding me.
03:24It's just...
03:24Okay, don't worry.
03:25Come, quickly.
03:26I got this.
03:27I got it.
03:44On a scale from one to ten,
03:46and how would you rate our service today?
04:15And how would you rate our service today?
04:22I made muffins.
04:23I made muffins.
04:23Uh-oh.
04:24You want something.
04:25What?
04:25No, do you guys really think I do that?
04:27Like, I only bake when I want something?
04:29Oh, and these muffs are fresh out of the oven.
04:31This is going to be horrible.
04:32No!
04:34Yeah, I feel bad,
04:35but I need volunteers to clean the kennels this weekend.
04:38They're nine dogs at Giardia.
04:40Whoever does it is going to need one of those counselors
04:42they send to mass shooting scenes.
04:43I nominate Frank given the weasel debacle.
04:45He's a senior officer.
04:46Yeah, Frank,
04:47I just got an earful from the superintendent.
04:49I was getting coffee.
04:51I'm guilty of negligence, not incompetence.
04:53It's a lower crime.
04:54Came to gloat about the weasel barbecue.
04:56You're here to enjoy a misfortune,
04:58which is a taunt, not a gloat.
04:59Always an education when you talk to Frank.
05:02You're a rube.
05:03You know what that is?
05:04Rumor is,
05:05couple filed a complaint,
05:06and require damage control.
05:07I'm offering my services, Emily,
05:10because I know you get a little nervous and sweaty
05:13in high-stress situations.
05:14Uh, no.
05:15No, I have everything under control, Templeton.
05:18Well, when you don't,
05:19I'll come back to gloat.
05:21Did I get that right, Frank?
05:22No, that was a threat.
05:24Ah, whatever.
05:25Word, nerd.
05:26Okay, I'm gonna go change into a shirt
05:29that's dark enough to hide my nervous pit stains,
05:31and right away,
05:32I'm gonna go ahead and apologize
05:33for sharing that information.
05:37Muffins are over here.
05:39Why's that guy so mean to Emily?
05:41He works at a rival precinct,
05:42and he's going for her job.
05:44Yeah, she's not really suited to a leadership position,
05:46but we have to make sure she doesn't get fired
05:48because she's really nice.
05:49And she's easy to manipulate,
05:50which is why we are the only precinct
05:52with a top-of-the-line panini press.
05:55Mmm, spectacular.
05:57We got written up in Bon Appetit.
05:59Okay, here's a novel idea.
06:01Try standing closer to the toilet
06:03and actually aiming so the pee goes in the bowl
06:05and not on the floor.
06:06That's a terrible idea for a novel.
06:08I will be instituting a key system,
06:10so if you have to pee, here comes CT,
06:12there'll be a sign-in sheet on my desk.
06:14Not gonna do that.
06:15Frank!
06:16Frank!
06:17Frank, listen.
06:18I'll talk to Emily
06:19and take the heat for the weasel thing, okay?
06:22I'll clean the candles.
06:23It's only right.
06:23That would be stupid of you.
06:25It's what partners do, right?
06:26Look, I'm gonna be up front.
06:27My plan is to get rid of you.
06:29And with the way the bureaucracy works,
06:30it'll take about six months to fill your seat.
06:32So that's gonna be all lone wolfie time.
06:35Ow!
06:38Hey, we talked about the howling.
06:40Oh, sorry, Emily.
06:41How's that espresso machine coming?
06:42Oh, yeah, I ordered it.
06:44Oh, you are the best.
06:45It's coming from Milan.
06:47You don't fool me, Frank.
06:48Underneath that crusty exterior
06:50is a soft, chewy center.
06:52Mmm, no.
06:52Yeah, he's not that kind of cookie kid.
06:55What do you mean?
06:57Look, and you didn't hear this from us.
06:59Frank used to be a cop,
07:01but then he uncovered some corruption,
07:02and instead of cleaning it up,
07:04they fired him.
07:05Whoa.
07:06That's heavy.
07:07Oh, Greenview Meadow Preschool.
07:10Oh, God, in heaven, no.
07:11There's no way.
07:11This isn't something awful.
07:13Hello?
07:14Yeah?
07:15Danny won't poop in school again.
07:17He's like me.
07:18He gets nervous at away games.
07:19Oh, for some sense.
07:20Yeah, go ahead and put him on.
07:21Hey, buddy.
07:23It's okay.
07:24Listen, just like we do at home, okay?
07:26I know what to do
07:28when I'm about to poop.
07:31I go to the potty,
07:33put my underwear down,
07:35then I sit and wait.
07:38I sit and wait.
07:40I sit and wait
07:42until the poop falls down,
07:44then I wipe and wipe
07:46until Brown leaves town.
07:48I put it in the potty
07:51and I flushed it down.
07:53Woo!
07:54Bang up.
07:55Wow, sounds like you had quite a bet.
07:57I'm proud of you, my little soldier.
07:59Way to go, Danny.
08:00Okay.
08:01All right, bye.
08:02Hi, I could use some help
08:04getting a mask upon the table.
08:05No problem.
08:06Absolutely.
08:07Hey, you're Shred, right?
08:10Hey.
08:10Oh, yeah.
08:11Hi.
08:12Nice to meet you.
08:13Are you the, um, hot vet?
08:15No, we say that behind her back?
08:16Yeah.
08:17Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
08:18If that came off as disrespectful,
08:20I'll retract it
08:21and say you are in no way hot.
08:24Dr. Summers,
08:25I don't want to embarrass you,
08:27but I am a huge Winter Sports fan
08:29and I saw you at the X Games in Whistler.
08:322019?
08:32Yeah.
08:33Against the Goose?
08:34Oh, so good.
08:35She's a fan.
08:35Did that backside rodeo
08:36right in front of me?
08:37She's a fan.
08:37They've been replaying it
08:38on ESPN Classics.
08:40Every time I watch it,
08:41I think I'm not going to stick the landing.
08:42And then I do,
08:43and it kind of blows my mind
08:45all over again.
08:46So good.
08:46Anyway, sorry.
08:47You needed help with something?
08:48Uh, yeah, that'd be great.
08:49Come on.
08:50Yeah, sure, yeah.
08:51No.
08:52No.
08:52He does not get to just
08:54sashay in here
08:54and have sex with someone
08:55we've all been trying
08:56to nail for years.
08:58Yeah, he has to get in line
08:59and wait like everybody else.
09:00Low-wrench Sean White.
09:03Yo, Dolores.
09:04I need the key.
09:05Name and time.
09:16Honey Lingus?
09:18Real mature.
09:24You know what Mark Twain said?
09:25I'm not 100%
09:26on who Mark Twain is.
09:29That's a whole other conversation.
09:30No.
09:30He said,
09:31if you pick up a starving dog
09:32and make him prosperous,
09:34he will not bite you.
09:35This is the principal difference
09:36between a dog and a man.
09:38Is this about the hot vet?
09:40Yeah, of course
09:40it's about the hot vet.
09:41I've been laying
09:42the groundwork for years.
09:43Do you know how many
09:43vaccination clinics
09:44I've volunteered for?
09:46A lot of vaccination clinics.
09:48I've eradicated
09:48entire diseases
09:49in pursuit of that woman.
09:50But dude,
09:50I'm not like a threat.
09:52I have a girlfriend.
09:53She's a snowboarder.
09:54She's from Spain.
09:55And if you asked me
09:56even one question,
09:57you'd know that.
09:59I'm not going to lie.
10:00That's a bit of a relief.
10:01Yeah, and if I was
10:01going to dip my toe
10:02into the work pool,
10:03it wouldn't be the hot vet.
10:05Well, and not Victoria.
10:06I got dibs there, too.
10:07No.
10:08Emily, the boss lady.
10:10She's just so clumsy
10:11and uncomfortable
10:11in her own body.
10:12I guess I just dig
10:13an awkward chick.
10:15This is a texture
10:16I didn't know you had.
10:17You see?
10:17This partnership,
10:18it's blossoming.
10:20Oh, and I googled wolves.
10:22They run in packs.
10:23Well, except for the lone ones.
10:25Otherwise,
10:25they would just be wolves.
10:26And you had to Google that?
10:27There's no shame
10:28in admitting gaps in knowledge.
10:30Unrelated,
10:30but also interesting.
10:31Did you know snails
10:32can have sex
10:33with themselves?
10:34Truck 12,
10:35neighbor complaint.
10:36Unlicensed ostrich farm,
10:37360 North Harned.
10:39Truck 12 responding.
10:40Ostriches.
10:41I love this job.
10:53Hi, I'm Emily Price
10:54from Animal Canoe.
10:55Wow.
10:56That is worse
10:57than I thought.
10:59Mmm.
11:00I brought muffins.
11:06Hey.
11:07Offers is on the scene
11:08with loaded snoshages.
11:11Never gets old, Tom.
11:13What do we got here?
11:14Waiting for the coroner.
11:16This guy's been dead
11:16three days
11:17and no one knew it.
11:18This dog never left his side.
11:20We'll find him a good home.
11:25Three days.
11:26Can you imagine?
11:28Three days.
11:28Without anybody
11:29knowing where I was.
11:33I'd kill for that.
11:35Hey.
11:37Hey,
11:37it's gonna be okay.
11:38Okay.
11:40Charlie.
11:41He's so cute.
11:48Ooh.
11:49Those are
11:50some tall birds.
11:52Yeah.
11:52And their eyes
11:53are bigger than their brains
11:54so you should feel
11:54right at home.
11:55Your ribbing feels affectionate
11:57and I know
11:57you're going
11:58for more emotional distance.
11:59Hey, your shirt's sticking out.
12:00Let me fix it.
12:02There you go.
12:03Now you look respectable.
12:04Look at you
12:05taking care of your partner.
12:07Bonding alert,
12:08calling all units?
12:09All right, calm down.
12:10Ma'am?
12:11Hi, City of Seattle Animal Control.
12:13Is it all right if we enter?
12:14Make sure to close the gate.
12:16Did my stupid neighbor call you?
12:19What's going on here?
12:21Are you making belts
12:21or selling their meat?
12:23I sell the eggs
12:24at the farmer's market.
12:25Well, you're gonna need a license
12:26from the zoning commission.
12:27Uh,
12:28these guys
12:29like me.
12:30Everyone likes you, Shred.
12:33Should I be concerned?
12:34Well,
12:35it's really up to you.
12:36They are violent
12:37and strong
12:38and have famously
12:39bad temperaments.
12:40Oh, and as you can see,
12:42they're really fast.
12:43So,
12:43I would kick it up a gear
12:44if I were you.
12:45In the meantime,
12:46I'll just be writing this
12:47citation.
12:48It's bad, Frank.
12:49They won't stop.
12:51It's starting to feel
12:52extremely targeted.
12:54Yeah, well,
12:55they either see you
12:55as a food source
12:56or a potential mate.
12:57Either way,
12:58I would just let nature
12:59take its course.
13:00They're relentless.
13:01But don't worry,
13:02I'm getting all of it.
13:04They're relentless.
13:05Did you move out
13:05to get on our planet?
13:09These muffins are delicious.
13:10You have to give me
13:11the recipe.
13:11Oh, I will.
13:12And you know what?
13:12They're healthy, too.
13:14Everyone in my office
13:14has some kind of allergy,
13:15so I can never bake
13:16with anything fun.
13:20Look,
13:20we agree.
13:21We don't want to turn this
13:22into a big legal thing.
13:23Great, great.
13:24And you have my word
13:26the city will pay
13:26for everything.
13:28Kate,
13:29if you'll just excuse me,
13:30I'm just going to let
13:31somebody know.
13:34Emily said
13:35they're not going to sue.
13:36And sent a pile
13:37of poop emoji.
13:39And a middle finger emoji.
13:40Whatever.
13:42All right.
13:43I won't take up
13:44any more of your time.
13:45Thank you both.
13:48You didn't use
13:49sesame oil in these,
13:50did you?
13:51You know what?
13:52I did.
13:53I find it just gives it
13:54like a little tang.
13:56Oh, God.
13:57I'll get the EpiPen.
13:58Wait, wait.
13:59What's happening?
14:009-1-1.
14:02Right now?
14:02Please?
14:03No!
14:04Oh, no!
14:05Knock it off.
14:06This is not fun for me.
14:07This is not fun.
14:08I've never seen them
14:09like this.
14:10Will I help you here, Frank?
14:11Man, they must smell
14:13something on your clothes.
14:14What kind of detergent
14:15do you use?
14:15Tide liquid pods.
14:16They get out anything.
14:18Maybe lose the shirt.
14:19Oh.
14:20Oh, yeah.
14:22That is pretty disrespectful
14:24to the uniform,
14:25but you've got to do
14:26what you have to do.
14:28Hmm.
14:29It's got to be the pants.
14:31The pants?
14:32Yeah.
14:35This is the weirdest
14:36strip show I've ever seen.
14:38And I've seen
14:39a number of them.
14:46Is that
14:47your beef stick?
14:49In my defense,
14:50I didn't think
14:51it would work that well.
14:52Uncool, bro.
14:53Really uncool.
14:55And I'm sorry
14:55to raise my voice right now,
14:57but I'm pretty high up
14:57in this tree,
14:58and you crossed the line,
14:59brother.
15:00They could have taken
15:00my penis, Frank.
15:02Yeah, but they didn't,
15:03and that's what makes it funny.
15:05Dude, I know
15:06that the police department
15:07screwed you over
15:08and people let you down,
15:09but to learn nothing
15:10from that except
15:11to be a jerk,
15:11that just makes you
15:12a douche, dude.
15:14You're missing
15:14all the nuance.
15:15I'm a douche
15:16for a lot
15:17of complicated reasons.
15:18Dude, I blew up my knee
15:20three months
15:20before the Olympics,
15:21but I didn't let it
15:22make me hate the world.
15:23We all have a choice
15:24in life,
15:25and I chose
15:25to stay positive.
15:26Well, that just makes
15:27me question your judgment.
15:28Well, you'll be proud
15:29to know I'm feeling
15:30pretty negative
15:31right now, Frank.
15:33You have a ticket
15:34for 600 bucks,
15:35by the way.
15:36Can I pay you an eggs?
15:38No.
15:40Yeah, come in.
15:43I'd like to request
15:43a transfer.
15:45My senior officer
15:46by word and action
15:47has made it clear
15:47that he doesn't
15:48want me around.
15:49Despite the rumors,
15:50I'm not a people person.
15:52Really?
15:53Are you sure?
15:54I'd have to move you
15:55to Central,
15:55and Templeton
15:57has the only free truck.
16:00Yes.
16:01You heard the man.
16:04Templeton.
16:05You'd really do
16:06that to Shred?
16:07He'll be fine.
16:08He can be happy
16:09in literally any situation,
16:10which is the very trait
16:11that makes him
16:12challenging for me.
16:13Well, what if you viewed
16:14it as a growth opportunity?
16:16I'm not looking for growth.
16:17If growth wants me bad enough,
16:18it knows where to find me.
16:19Yeah, alone in your apartment.
16:21Where I am so content.
16:23Now, can I interest you
16:24in a chicken pesto panini?
16:27I want to say no,
16:28but yeah,
16:29your heart is black,
16:29but you know how to make
16:30a really good sandwich.
16:33You guys making sandwiches?
16:35Oh!
16:45Hello?
16:46Who's there?
16:47Hey, Shred.
16:47I forgot my coat,
16:49so...
16:50Hey.
16:51Oh, I'm sorry
16:52how everything worked out.
16:54I love Frank,
16:55but sometimes he can just
16:56be too much, like, Frank.
16:58Yeah.
16:58I really thought
16:59I was going to be able
16:59to crack him, you know?
17:01What are you still doing here?
17:02Oh, we have a petted option
17:04coming up,
17:05so I was just going to get
17:05these flyers out.
17:06Cool.
17:07Yeah.
17:08You know,
17:09the thing about snowboarding is
17:10it's a solo sport.
17:12Mm-hmm.
17:12Like, when you're on the mountain,
17:13it's just you all alone.
17:15And when I got injured,
17:16nobody found me for two hours.
17:17What?
17:18So the St. Bernard thing
17:19is a myth?
17:20I'm the wrong guy to ask.
17:21I still sort of believe
17:22in Santa Claus.
17:25Oh, well...
17:26You need a hand?
17:27Um, yeah.
17:29Sorry.
17:30Thanks.
17:30I can just be a little clumsy.
17:32I know.
17:33You know, honestly,
17:34I don't know that I'm cut out
17:36for this job.
17:37I mean,
17:38I sent that poor guy
17:39to the hospital today.
17:41Yeah, but I almost
17:42burned out his house
17:43and sent him to the hospital,
17:44so...
17:46That's true.
17:48Oh, I'm going to miss
17:49seeing you around
17:50the precinct every day.
17:51Yeah, me too.
17:53Um, but you know,
17:55now that, I mean,
17:56I'm not going to be your boss,
17:59like, we wouldn't...
18:00Sorry?
18:00Sorry.
18:01It's my girlfriend.
18:02Oh, my God.
18:03I should get this.
18:04Yeah.
18:04Yep.
18:05Yes.
18:06Hey, babe.
18:07I heard you got powdered.
18:12What do you think, Charlie?
18:14You like a new home?
18:16Yeah.
18:19Hang on.
18:32And it's white,
18:34and it's white
18:35until the brown leaves town.
18:38Put it in the potty
18:40and flush it down.
18:44Bye-bye,
18:46poo.
18:48Bye-bye,
18:50poo-ee.
18:51Shred Taylor needs
18:53an 88 to get on the podium.
18:54No way.
18:55Here's another look at his
18:56backside rodeo 540.
18:58Will it be enough to medal?
19:00And here comes the score.
19:02Oh, 87.3.
19:05Oh, man, that is heartbreaking.
19:07Trent Taylor finishes fourth.
19:10Look at this kid.
19:11You'd never know he lost.
19:13Yeah!
19:13Ah, gotta love him.
19:15Woo!
19:16Woo!
19:18Woo!
19:18Woo!
19:21Woo!
19:22Woo!
19:23Woo!
19:24Woo!
19:25What do you want to take, Charlie?
19:26Oh, no, no.
19:27I have my own two dogs.
19:29I'm fine.
19:29Oh, my God, he's so cute!
19:31Oh, do you want us?
19:32You guys love him!
19:34You can have him!
19:35No, we're not taking the dogs.
19:36We don't need the dogs.
19:38I can't take care of this.
19:40No, I don't need this.
19:41I can't take care of this.
19:42I have my plants.
19:42I don't need more plants.
19:43No, don't go.
19:44No, stop that dance.
19:45Come back.
19:47You're so cute.
19:55Some dopey-looking guy called for an Uber?
19:57I knew you'd show up, partner.
20:00No, you didn't.
20:00And I'm getting rid of you as soon as a decent rig opens up.
20:03I hope you know that.
20:04If I didn't know you were coming, how come I got us coffee?
20:08Because you're going to brown-nose Templeton.
20:10Whatever you need to tell yourself, Frank, but I always knew you were a pack animal.
20:14Yesterday, you didn't even know what a pack animal was.
20:17Oh, I also didn't know that a newborn kangaroo is the size of a lima bee.
20:26Templeton.
20:27You didn't tell him you were picking me up?
20:28Nah, it was a game-time decision.
20:33How would you feel about mooning him?
20:35Very good.
20:36But this will be two days in a row you've negotiated my pants off.
20:56So you really filmed the whole Templeton thing?
21:10Good to have you back.
21:12Good to be back, boss.
21:13Holden Weiner?
21:15Holden Weiner?
21:16Really, guys?
21:17It's actually Weiner.
21:18I get that all the time.
21:20I'm going to need a signature for the package.
21:22I think it's an espresso machine.
21:24Ooh, I'll take care of that.
21:26Thank you, Mr. Weiner.
21:28Thank you so much.
21:30Weiner.
21:33I think she sprung for the milk foamer.
21:35Emily, you are the best!
21:37I'm getting a wine fridge next.
21:38Bye!
21:41You
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