- 22 hours ago
مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 2
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00:01I don't know.
00:33I don't know.
01:06I don't know.
01:11All right, son.
01:12This is an ordinary lawn tractor, and we have to Tim-Taylorize it.
01:15So first, we've got to remove this puny 12-and-a-half-horse Blade-O-Matic motor.
01:23Because we don't want to cut lawn maintenance time way down, so what do we need?
01:26More power!
01:29You learned well, my little one.
01:31We're going to replace it with this.
01:34Because this is more power.
01:41Wow.
01:42Wow.
01:43Darn right, wow.
01:45This is a twin-cylinder, 1600cc motorcycle engine.
01:48Normally aspirated at 58 horsepower.
01:51Your dad has poured and polished it, blueprinted the crank, and balanced it all the way through.
01:55It's got reverse gear.
01:56Who needs it?
01:57Four forward gears and a suicide clutch.
02:01On a good, clear day, the E.T. on this bad boy should be under 15 seconds and a quarter
02:05mile.
02:06We can do zero to 60 under 5.5 seconds.
02:10You don't race it?
02:11You bet.
02:11As soon as we install this bad boy, we're going to enter the Indianapolis 500.
02:18By the time the rest of the pack catches us, we've won the race and mowed the infield.
02:24Want me to get you a towel, Dad?
02:26Why would I want a towel?
02:28Let the grease off your hands.
02:30Grease is our friend.
02:32When you work on heavy-duty machine, you expect some grease in your hands.
02:35As a matter of fact, you like grease all over.
02:37Kind of like, uh, war paint.
02:40Yeah.
02:41Chief's spark plug.
02:43Ah, ah, ah, ah.
02:44We're going to need a variety of tools today, so you want to make sure you get all your tools
02:47lined up with an easy reach.
02:51What's this one?
02:54Ooh, man.
02:56That's my Toland Precision Engineered Torque Wrench.
02:59See the gauge there measured pounds per square inch.
03:02You use this for all your delicate bolts, like on the engine head and when you bolt the engine to
03:06the chassis there.
03:07What's old?
03:08Oh, it's not old.
03:10It's experienced.
03:13This is the Yoda of my tool bench right here.
03:17Yeah.
03:20It's been in my family almost 20 years.
03:23My dad gave it to me and someday I'm going to give it to you.
03:27Dave.
03:28Dave's dad.
03:28Give that, buddy.
03:31Dad, to the heathen!
03:33And to all gladiators who jump on my couch.
03:36Get up, man.
03:36Here's my stuff for the rummage sale.
03:38Oh, good, good.
03:40Spartacus, did you go through your closet yet?
03:42No, not yet.
03:43Well, would you please turn off the TV and do that now?
03:46Mom, this is the bloodiest part.
03:48Brad, this rummage sale is a fundraiser to get your hockey team new uniforms.
03:51Now turn off the TV now.
03:53Aw, man.
03:56While Brad was watching television, I filled my box up to the top.
04:01Thank you, Randy.
04:02It's nice to know I have one perfect child.
04:04I do what I can.
04:06I filled my box up to the top.
04:09Hey, hey, stop that.
04:11If I hear any fighting, there's going to be liver for dinner.
04:20Hi, Mommy.
04:21Look, I'm all graced up.
04:24Well, how nice for you.
04:26I think you missed a spot right here on your nose.
04:29Good night, Mom.
04:33So, this is the slight adjustment to the riding mower you were talking about?
04:37Slight 150 horsepower adjustment, huh?
04:44What do you think?
04:45Well, with that engine, you won't just be cutting the grass.
04:48You'll be sucking it up by the roots.
04:52Why do you always come out here and mess up my tools?
04:54I'm sorry.
04:55I'm just looking for the duct tape.
04:58It's not duck quack quack tape.
05:00It's duct tape, like heating duct.
05:04Well, excuse me.
05:06Duct tape.
05:11Excuse me while I rinse the side of my face off.
05:17It's right over there on the pegboard.
05:19The pegboard?
05:20What's it doing on the pegboard?
05:21Shouldn't tape be in a drawer?
05:23Jill, this is a garage, not fabric world.
05:32In a shop, tape hangs on a hook because it has a hole in it.
05:37So does your head, but it's not hanging on a hook.
05:41If you borrow the tape, promise me you'll put it back where it belongs.
05:44Of course I will.
05:44I always do.
05:45Do you now?
05:46Yeah.
05:46Recognize this?
05:49Spiral ratchet screwdriver found out in the sink this morning.
05:51What was that all about?
05:52Well, the ice was all stuck together and I needed something to break it apart.
05:57You're pounding ice with this.
05:58Yeah, it worked great.
06:00Jill, this is a precision tool.
06:02It's not an ice pick.
06:03Damn, don't be silly.
06:04Give me the tape.
06:05No, no, no, no.
06:05No.
06:06How would you feel if I attacked your little opera record collection and used Madame Butterfly
06:10for a frisbee?
06:11You don't touch my records.
06:12Right.
06:13Because I respect your space.
06:14That's your space, your zone.
06:16This is my zone, my sacred territory right here.
06:19Oh, so, uh, so this tool bench is like your altar?
06:24This is where I pray to the tool gods.
06:28Gosh, you know, I am so moot.
06:30I think that I should sing a chorus of Amazing Wrench.
06:32Don't do this.
06:35Amazing Wrench, how sweet the sound.
06:43Do you hear the laughter right here?
06:46Just, just promise me you'll ask me if you want to borrow a tool.
06:49Okay, fine.
06:50I want you to swear.
06:51Oh, please.
06:52Come on, humor me.
06:53Tim.
06:53It'll help me emotionally if you do this.
06:55Come on, stand up.
06:57Stand up?
06:58Stand up.
06:58Put your, put your right arm up.
07:01Put your left arm, put your left arm on the tool.
07:05The wrench.
07:06The wrench.
07:13Repeat after me.
07:14I, Jill.
07:16I, Jill.
07:25I, Jill, swear on this Binford Cordless Ratchet Wrench.
07:28Swear on this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, wrench.
07:30Binford Cordless Ratchet Wrench.
07:34That I will never touch my husband Tim Taylor's tool bench ever again.
07:38Ever again.
07:43Touched it.
07:43Jill.
07:44Touched it, touched it, touched it.
07:47Can you feel the anger in this room right now?
07:51You have irritated the tool gods.
07:56You must now be smeared with the holy grease of disdain.
07:59Tim, don't you even think about it.
08:02Tim.
08:03Tim.
08:04I'm no longer Tim.
08:05I'm Zorthius, the tool of injure.
08:10I'm Zorthius, yeah.
08:12I am.
08:18Oh, no.
08:22Mark, honey, come on in here.
08:23I have to wash you up for lunch.
08:28Come on.
08:29Come on.
08:32Come on.
08:34Yeah.
08:37Have you seen my sneakers?
08:40Yes, they're in the trash.
08:42You can't throw those away.
08:44Honey, it wasn't my idea.
08:46The sneakers begged me.
08:47They did.
08:48They...
08:49Please, Mrs. Taylor.
08:52Let us go.
08:54We're old.
08:55We're tired.
08:57We smell.
08:59Mom, these are my favorites.
09:02Please.
09:03Okay.
09:04Duct tape them up.
09:09Then you can have a month to say goodbye to him,
09:11and then it's a new pair.
09:13Thanks, Mom.
09:14Okay.
09:15Mark, honey, I thought you were helping your dad.
09:17No.
09:19Well, I know that he really likes it when you help him.
09:22Maybe later.
09:23I'm gonna go play with my truck.
09:25Oh, okay.
09:27Okay.
09:34Okay.
10:07That you want to run
10:11Head up for the highway
10:16In whatever comes our way
10:21Yes, I'm gonna make
10:24Hey!
10:25Ho!
10:27So, what'd you do?
10:28Join Hell's Gardeners?
10:33Pretty cool, huh?
10:35All you need is a tattoo
10:37Born to mulch
10:38Yeah!
10:42And honey, you know what?
10:44You could be my lawn mowing mama
10:47You know, Tim, the only reason
10:48That you're doing all of this
10:50Is because your mother
10:50Wouldn't let you have a motorcycle
10:52She never let me have a dog
10:53You don't see me out here
10:55Rewiring a Cocker Spaniel, do you?
11:03Where'd that go?
11:04What?
11:07My torque wrench is right here
11:08You weren't out here this afternoon, were you?
11:10Why?
11:11I'm missing my torque wrench
11:12I don't even know what a torque wrench is
11:14You weren't cracking any ice today, were you?
11:16Oh, Tim, you don't crack ice with the wrench
11:18You crack ice with the screwdriver
11:22Cute, Jill
11:24It's got to be in here someplace
11:27I swear, I have not touched any of your tools
11:29Since I took the out this morning
11:31Always to ask, always to return
11:32Well, somebody took it
11:34And didn't return it
11:36Whoever that somebody is
11:37Is going to be in big, big trouble
11:48What's in this box?
11:49The wrench is not in there
11:50That's stuff for the rummage sale
11:51There's nothing but junk in there
11:54Junk?
11:54What is that swivel-based cookbook holder I built you?
11:58Is it?
11:58I thought you said you lost this
12:00Well, I guess you found it
12:02Great
12:07Look!
12:08Look!
12:10This is that hair dryer I rewired for you
12:13Honey, I really loved it
12:14But it melted all my hairbrushes
12:17Don't throw it out
12:17Use it for a space heater
12:20Tim, Tim, stop it, stop it
12:22Come on, honey
12:22You're turning the whole house upside down
12:25That wrench has got to be around here someplace
12:27You know, it just didn't get up and walk away, Jill
12:30Okay, you're right
12:31I'm ready to talk
12:33I sneak down here at night
12:35Take all your tools
12:37Go out to the backyard
12:39Put them in a big pile
12:40And dance around them naked
12:45What time would that be?
12:48Time right after you go to sleep
12:50Tim
12:52Do you want this on regular cycle or fluff?
12:55Alright
12:58My tool
13:00It's all busted up
13:01The gauge is missing
13:02The dial's all bent
13:05How'd that get in the dryer?
13:07Now give me three guesses
13:08Yeah
13:10Y'all never take me alive
13:13Ow!
13:16Mark
13:16Why are you hiding back there?
13:19I'm not hiding
13:20Yes, you are
13:22What'd you do?
13:24You swear you won't tell Mom and Dad?
13:27Yeah, we swear
13:28Don't we brag
13:30Yeah, we swear
13:32So, what'd you do?
13:35I broke Daddy's torque wrench
13:39Uh-oh
13:41Whoa
13:42That is bad
13:44Real bad
13:46He broke a tool
13:48Just like Peter
13:50Who's Peter?
13:52He's our little brother
13:53We used to have before you
14:02No
14:04He broke Dad's flashlight
14:06What'd they do with him?
14:08They traded him in for you
14:11They did not
14:15Nice knowing ya
14:17Maybe this time
14:18We can get a dog instead
14:21Brad?
14:21Randy?
14:22Mark?
14:23Where are you?
14:23What am I gonna do?
14:25Keep hiding
14:26They can't trade you in
14:27If they can't find ya
14:30Now, don't get crazy
14:32Remember, it's just a tool
14:33Just a tool
14:3420 years of my family
14:36Just a tool
14:37Are you looking for us?
14:38Yeah, front and center
14:39Park it
14:41We're missing somebody
14:42Where's Mark?
14:44We haven't seen him
14:46Now, boys
14:47Your father has something
14:48That he wants to talk to you about
14:51Calmly
14:55Which one of you lug nuts
14:56Broke this torque wrench?
14:58Damn, easy
14:59Easy, easy
15:00I didn't break it
15:01You didn't break it
15:02Who's left?
15:03Butch and Sundance
15:06Why are you always blaming us?
15:07Because we're always guilty, aren't we?
15:11Some people think we're nice
15:13Really?
15:14Name one
15:15Billy's mom thinks
15:16We're a perfect little gentleman
15:18Billy's mom thought
15:19She saw Elvis yesterday
15:20At the gas station
15:28What do you know about the broken wrench?
15:30We think you should ask somebody else
15:34Yeah
15:35Someone short
15:37And seven
15:43Wait
15:44You're saying Mark
15:45Had something to do with
15:46Breaking my tool?
15:47Hey
15:47We don't tattle on some brothers
15:50Who happen to be hiding
15:52In the backyard
15:52Like a coward
15:59Hey
15:59You're quite the climber there
16:01Little neighbor
16:02Hi, Wilson
16:03You playing hide and seek?
16:05Just hide
16:07Anybody in particular
16:08You're hiding from?
16:10My dad
16:11Mark?
16:12Mark?
16:13Promise you won't tell him
16:15I'm here?
16:16Scout's on her
16:16Mark, where are you, son?
16:22Hi, Wilson
16:23I'm looking for Mark
16:24Have you seen him?
16:25Well, as the old saying goes, Tim
16:27The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree
16:32Right, Wilson
16:32I'm looking for my son
16:34What I'm trying to say to him
16:35Is sometimes, to get what you want
16:37You have to go out on a limb
16:40I don't have time for this, Wilson
16:43I'm looking for my boy
16:45He didn't want me to tell you
16:46What?
16:47He's up in the tree
16:49Tim, I think he's pretty unhappy
16:54Well, Wilson, if you haven't seen him
16:56You haven't seen him
16:56Thanks
16:57Don't mention it, good neighbor
17:00Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark
17:02Sure gonna miss him
17:03Probably ran away
17:06Boy, he's the best darn assistant
17:08A dad could ever have
17:10I don't think I can finish that mower without him
17:17I don't think I'll be able to rewire anything ever again
17:21Boy, could that kid grunt
17:26No matter where you are, Mark
17:27This one's for you
17:35The tree just grunted at me
17:36No, it didn't
17:38Yes, it did
17:39I heard it
17:39No, Daddy
17:40It's me
17:42Mark, what are you doing up in the tree?
17:45I did something bad
17:48You broke my tool, didn't you, Mark?
17:51It jumped right out of my hand
17:55Shouldn't have been in your hand, though, right?
17:57I was just playing
18:00We've been through this before
18:01My tools are not your toys
18:05I'm sorry I broke your tool
18:07It was an accident
18:13Accidents happen
18:14It's not the end of the world
18:15But when you break something with somebody else's
18:18You gotta tell them
18:20Please don't trade me away like you did Peter
18:31Peter
18:32Peter
18:34The son, you fit it in for me
18:38What are you talking about?
18:40The one who broke your flashlight
18:42Don't you even remember him?
18:47Where do you get, I did
18:49Let me guess
18:52Brad, Randy
18:54Book it
18:57Mark
18:57You want to listen to this good
19:00I would never trade you for anything
19:03Really?
19:05Really
19:05Come here
19:12You know that tape measure
19:14That you should never find?
19:16Go ahead, tell me
19:17You lost it
19:18No
19:19Brad, you're going to be broken
19:20Good to have you back, son
19:25Honey
19:25The moment we've been waiting for
19:27Has finally arrived
19:29Tim, you know, it's October
19:30You really don't have to cut the grass now
19:32Honey
19:33I'm not cutting the grass
19:34I'm just taking the Taylor 1600cc lawn chopper out for a test run
19:39Honey, can't we just call your mother and ask if it's okay if you have a motorcycle?
19:43Jill, don't worry
19:45Got a helmet, seatbelt, what could happen?
19:50Come on, Dad
19:51Hurry up
19:52All right, boys
19:56Prepare yourself for new age and lawn maintenance
19:59I think we all remember
20:00You used to take Dad
20:01Hour, hour and twenty to do the lawn
20:03This bad boy
20:05Minute five
20:09I'll cut this thing so fast
20:10It'll be afraid to grow
20:14Honey, did you put hubcaps on the lawnmower?
20:17Yeah
20:18Why did you do that?
20:20I don't know
20:22Start the engine, Dad
20:24Yeah, pop a wheel
20:25Yeah
20:27Fire it up
20:28Stand back
20:28I think this monster mowing machine is ready to come to life
20:32All right, boys, inside
20:34Oh, boy
20:35Hey, hey
20:36Wait a minute, Brad, come on
20:37Go, go, go, go
20:38You can't watch from the pit area
20:40Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
20:48Gentlemen
20:50Start your engines
21:01Fly home
21:09I'm all right
21:17Well, Al, now that we have the fitting in place between the two sections of pipe, what's the next step?
21:21Well, Tim, we'll be sweating the pipe
21:22Will we?
21:23That's right
21:23So, put a little deodorant right there in the elbow?
21:27I don't think so, Tim
21:30Well, we do need heat for this project, and for that we use the Binford Burn Blaster 2000 propane torch
21:35Want to grab the torch, Al?
21:36Yeah, coming right up, Tim
21:43Torch, please, Al
21:45Hey, give me a second, Tim
21:47Al, we're on the air, Al
21:49We need that torch
21:50I'm looking, I'm looking
21:52Al, this is a critical part of the show
21:53Thousands of viewers waiting to see that thing
21:55I'm trying, damn it
21:56I'm only human
22:01Oh, relax
22:02Come on, Al
22:03Oh, look, it's right over here
22:06Folks, this is a demonstration
22:07Don't, don't try this at home
22:09I, I hid the torch from Al
22:12You what?
22:16I, I, you know, didn't mean to panic
22:17You hid the torch?
22:19To make a point
22:20And what point would that be, Tim?
22:23Well, you, you should always know where your tools are
22:28Because otherwise you could get pretty irritated like you see, Nubia
22:32Go ahead, light the torch, Al
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