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مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 3
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00:26To be continued...
00:57To be continued...
01:12To be continued...
01:33To be continued...
01:40Dad!
01:40Yeah?
01:41Here's chips!
01:41You got it, buddy.
01:42Go long!
01:43Nice pass, kid!
01:45All right.
01:49Dad?
01:50All right!
01:50You're turning all red.
02:00There's a warning label right there.
02:03You shouldn't open these in broad daylight in Detroit.
02:07Could cause an explosion.
02:08Look!
02:10Wow!
02:11Look at this warning label.
02:13Socks may strike husband unexpectedly.
02:16You could put an eye out like that.
02:18Boys, help me clean this mess up.
02:20Second half's about ready to begin.
02:21Here, hurry up!
02:22Now listen, don't get too involved in that, Tim.
02:24We have to get ready to go soon.
02:25Go?
02:26Where are we going?
02:28Dinner?
02:28Tonight?
02:29Tonight, Chez-Pierre?
02:30That can't be tonight.
02:32It most certainly is.
02:34Well, what about the big game?
02:35Well, what have you been watching all this time?
02:37This is the little game, right before the big game.
02:41The big game's the Rams and the Lions.
02:43Why didn't you remind me about dinner?
02:44Now, don't pull that.
02:45I asked you yesterday if you had reconfirmed the reservations, and you said, uh-huh.
02:49And then I said, were they for 7 o'clock?
02:50And you said, uh-huh.
02:51And then I said, did you get the babysitter?
02:52And you said, uh-huh.
02:52So I guess that means you didn't get the babysitter, huh?
02:54Uh-uh.
02:57Unbelievable.
02:59I completely forgot.
03:01We can't get a babysitter at this late hour.
03:04This is a tremendous disappointment.
03:08Yeah, I'll bet it is.
03:09This was supposed to be our romantic night out.
03:12Hey, romance?
03:13I got it.
03:14Why don't you and I go upstairs, turn the lights down, sit in bed, bottle of wine, and
03:19we can watch the game up there.
03:22You're not getting out of this without anything short of pneumonia.
03:29Boy, it's funny you mention that.
03:31This morning, I horked up something nasty-looking.
03:36Shot right out of my lungs.
03:39Well, suck it back in.
03:41We're going to dinner.
03:46You don't listen to that guy, you doofus.
03:48You can when they look as handsome as your daddy.
03:51You're looking pretty good yourself, sweetheart.
03:58Put a lid on it.
04:00Who'd you get to babysit for us, Linda?
04:02No, she finds you boys a little... active.
04:06Good.
04:07She smells.
04:10Did you get Allison?
04:11No, honey.
04:12She's busy, but she sends her love.
04:17Stop that.
04:18Sit, sit.
04:19Well, then who'd you get?
04:20Well, I found someone new.
04:23Back there.
04:23Go!
04:24Go!
04:25Go!
04:26Go get the door!
04:28Please turn off the television.
04:33Mrs. Taylor?
04:34Yes.
04:35Sir Lanny Houdini, world's second greatest escape artist
04:39and magician extraordinaire.
04:42Hey, you're great.
04:43I saw you at Chris Johnson's birthday party.
04:46Oh, lovely little girl.
04:48Chris is a boy.
04:49Strange little boy.
04:55But tell me, where are the birthday balloons,
04:58funny party hats, the pony ride?
05:01Well, um, actually, no one here is having a birthday.
05:04Well, you told me on the phone it was a birthday.
05:06I know.
05:07I lied.
05:08I'm so sorry.
05:09I was desperate.
05:11My husband didn't get a babysitter,
05:12and I called everybody I knew,
05:13and everybody was busy,
05:14and couldn't you just please stay?
05:16Never.
05:17Never.
05:18Sir Lanny has performed prestidigitation
05:21before prime ministers,
05:24heads of state,
05:25two kings,
05:26and a cranky duke.
05:27And never once
05:29has he stooped
05:30to babysitting
05:32to make ends meet.
05:35Happy birthday to you.
05:38Happy birthday to you.
05:40Happy birthday.
05:42Your name's here.
05:44Happy birthday to you.
05:47Thank you so much.
05:48You don't know what this means to me.
05:49Well, boys,
05:50the performance is about to start,
05:52so would you please help Sir Larry in
05:54with his magical trunk?
05:56Uh, Jill, hold on a minute.
05:57What's going on here?
05:58Oh, I'm sorry.
05:59Um, Sir Larry,
06:00this is my husband, Tim.
06:02Tim, this is Sir Larry.
06:03And the babysitter.
06:04How you doing?
06:04And magician extraordinaire.
06:06Yeah, I bet you are, Larry.
06:07Uh, Jill.
06:10You got a magician
06:11to babysit my boys?
06:14Perfect.
06:14Perfect.
06:15Sir Larry,
06:17uh, the number where we are
06:18at the restaurant's right here.
06:19Call us if you have any problems.
06:21Whoa!
06:22What happened, Brad?
06:22What happened?
06:23Flines just recovered.
06:25A fumble.
06:26Okay.
06:27Goodbye, boys.
06:27Goodbye, Sir Larry.
06:29Let's go, Tim.
06:30We should stay and watch a trick.
06:32It's not gonna work, Tim.
06:33Let's go.
06:36Oh, my wallet
06:38flipped over there by the TV.
06:39I've got credit cards.
06:41Do ya?
06:43Oh, my medicine's
06:45up by the TV upstairs.
06:46You don't take medicine.
06:47Oh, I should take some.
06:50I'm feeling a horker coming on.
06:56This is so romantic.
06:58And you have to admit,
06:59it's a beautiful place.
07:01A beautiful place
07:02for a beautiful woman.
07:04Oh, thank you, sweetie.
07:06I really, really do appreciate this.
07:09I know it was hard for you
07:09to leave that game.
07:10Game?
07:11What game?
07:14Excuse me, sir.
07:15Can you tell me
07:15where the ladies' room is?
07:16No, down the hall to the left.
07:18I'll be right back.
07:20I'll be right here, Jill.
07:21Right here.
07:24I'll be right here.
07:30Could you give me a hand
07:31with this thing?
07:31Is that a radio?
07:33Yeah.
07:34You got the game on?
07:34I got the game on.
07:35Get the...
07:38I'm gonna get that second quarter
07:40before she gets back
07:40from the bathroom.
07:41Oh, man, this is absolutely brilliant.
07:43Thanks, buddy.
07:48So what's happening?
07:49Hold on a minute.
07:52Here we go.
07:52Yes!
07:53What?
07:53What?
07:54I don't know,
07:54some kind of interception there.
07:55Inside the six,
07:56first and goal.
07:56All right!
07:57What's the score?
07:58Hold on, hold on, hold on.
07:59Riley's in motion.
08:00Uh-huh.
08:01Roddy, Pete's back.
08:02He's back.
08:02She's back.
08:03Jill's back!
08:03Hi, Jill!
08:06Did you miss me?
08:12Sure, I miss you.
08:14Are you okay?
08:15Oh, yeah.
08:18You ever twist your neck real fast,
08:20get one of those cricks?
08:22Well, I got that.
08:24Do you want me to rub it?
08:27Your neck?
08:28My neck?
08:30No, if I put my hand like this,
08:32ooh, it feels much better now.
08:34Okay.
08:35Ooh, look at this.
08:38Endive souffle prepared with mushrooms.
08:41Yes!
08:47Mushroom, mm.
08:51Tim, you don't like mushrooms.
08:54At home, no, but here, you know,
08:57they're in oils and stuff here, yeah.
08:59Oh, look, look,
08:59they have your favorite,
09:00trout almondine.
09:00Oh, right!
09:03What happened?
09:05I'm having the trout!
09:13Tim, would you like to tell me
09:15what's going on
09:15while you're, uh,
09:16sitting like that?
09:17My neck!
09:18Well, perhaps I should look at it.
09:19No!
09:20No!
09:21From the naked eye,
09:22it would look like any other neck.
09:23And it's a cricks
09:24or generally inside necks.
09:27Give me your hand.
09:28Hey, look at that.
09:28Give me your other hand.
09:30I don't want to.
09:35Oh, Tim, give me the radio.
09:38I wasn't going to listen
09:39to the whole thing.
09:41Would it help if I said I was sorry?
09:43It might.
09:44I'm sorry.
09:44It didn't.
09:45Is this the volume?
09:52That's it, boys.
09:54Nice and tight.
09:55Salary loves a challenge.
09:59This is too cool.
10:01Oh, thank you, my lad.
10:02Do we get to stick swords in the box?
10:04Sword in the box.
10:05Fantastic illusion.
10:07Sense the mind reeling
10:08and the pulse racing.
10:10I don't do it.
10:15Why not?
10:16Too easy.
10:18Now then, my lad,
10:19will you kindly assist me
10:21into the trunk.
10:25Now, you will close the trunk
10:27and lock it.
10:29When I give the command,
10:31you will set the timer
10:32at ten seconds
10:33and when the timer goes off,
10:36I shall appear
10:37at the front door.
10:41I don't know.
10:42Ten seconds isn't very long.
10:44To you,
10:45but to Salary,
10:46ten seconds is an eternity.
10:50Now, boys,
10:51prepare to be astonished.
10:55Close the lid.
11:03Is the trunk securely locked?
11:07Yes, it is.
11:08Then set the timer
11:10and stand back.
11:35Sir Larry!
11:38Boys!
11:44Reset the timer!
11:48You know what you are, Tim.
11:50You are a sports addict.
11:52I am not.
11:53I like sports.
11:54I have a very healthy interest,
11:55but I am not an addict.
11:58I am not an addict.
12:11Did you get a score?
12:12Well, what's the score?
12:13I'm not sure.
12:14I know the Lions
12:15intercepted a pass
12:16on the Rams' 20.
12:18Yes!
12:19I bet it was Spielman.
12:20Oh, Chris Spielman,
12:21awesome player.
12:21Last week,
12:22see him against Minnesota.
12:23See him?
12:24Man, I was there.
12:27I can't take it.
12:28I can't take it.
12:28I've got to see this game.
12:30Honey, I'm sorry.
12:31I'll be back.
12:37Oh, that guy's got a problem.
12:46That guy is addicted to sports.
12:49He is out of control.
12:54And you're not.
12:55No, no, no.
12:57We're here to talk about
12:59whatever you want to talk about.
13:00Well, that's good,
13:01because I want to talk about us.
13:02Oh.
13:03You know how we're always
13:04talking about how we need
13:05to find more things
13:06that we can do together for fun?
13:07Yeah.
13:08We always talk about it,
13:09but we never do anything about it?
13:10Let's do something about it.
13:11Yeah.
13:12Next weekend,
13:12monster truck rally
13:13and tractor pull.
13:17Well, gee,
13:18as much fun as that sounds,
13:20I was really thinking
13:22more along the lines of
13:26ballroom dancing.
13:27Yeah.
13:30Boy, that was my second choice.
13:32No, no, really.
13:33I'm serious.
13:34I think it would really be fun
13:35to take dancing lessons.
13:36Me?
13:36The king?
13:37Member of college?
13:40Tim, disco didn't die.
13:42You killed it.
13:44Now, I'm talking about
13:45grown-up dancing,
13:46Fred and Ginger.
13:48I thought Fred married Wilma.
13:51You know what I mean.
13:53You know,
13:53holding each other close,
13:54swaying to the music,
13:56gliding across the floor.
13:58Gliding in public's not me.
14:00We can take private lessons,
14:01just you and me.
14:01Nope.
14:03Unbelievable!
14:05Uh-oh.
14:06Come here,
14:06you gotta see this.
14:07Sanders just broke one
14:08for 50 yards
14:09around the right side.
14:10They tackled him on the one.
14:11We're gonna score.
14:12It's a first down.
14:13Happy anniversary, baby.
14:15Happy anniversary, baby.
14:29Honey,
14:31would you like to go
14:32and watch the game?
14:34No.
14:35No.
14:35We were talking about...
14:43Ballroom dancing.
14:43Ballroom dancing.
14:44That's right.
14:47So anyway,
14:48the lessons are on
14:49Tuesday nights.
14:50Uh-huh.
14:51And it doesn't really
14:52cost very much.
14:54And I've been having
14:56an affair with a space alien.
14:57Uh-huh.
14:59Yep,
14:59I'm having his baby.
15:01Uh-huh.
15:03Go, go, go!
15:05Touchdown!
15:18Honey, go.
15:20I'm fine.
15:21I don't have to see the game.
15:21Trust me, it's okay.
15:22I really want you to go.
15:36Hello?
15:37Hi, Mommy.
15:39Guess what happened
15:39to Sir Larry?
15:40Mark!
15:43Don't tell her, stupid.
15:45Why?
15:45He didn't do anything.
15:47The guy's locked in a box.
15:49Who do you think
15:50she's gonna blame?
15:52Ugh!
15:54Hi, Mom.
15:56Yeah, we're fine.
15:57Oh, yeah, he's excellent.
15:59A lot of fun.
16:01Yeah, good tricks, too.
16:05Um, now?
16:08Well, um,
16:09he can't talk right now.
16:11Um, he just can't.
16:14She wants to talk to Mark.
16:16That's because she knows
16:17you'll squeal.
16:18I won't squeal.
16:20I promise.
16:24Hello, Mommy.
16:25Brad and Randy
16:26lost her lay in the trunk.
16:33Oh, boys.
16:35It's okay, Sir Larry.
16:37If we get the trunk
16:38high enough and drop it,
16:39it'll break open.
16:40Please, let's not be hasty, boys.
16:44Mom and Dad are home.
16:46We're dead.
16:47Hide.
16:49Boys.
16:49Randy, Mark, Brad.
16:52Out here.
16:57In there.
16:58Mark?
16:59Where is Mr. Houdini?
17:01Oh.
17:02In there.
17:03Are you all right,
17:04Mr. Houdini?
17:04I'm fine.
17:06The x-rays may reveal
17:08otherwise, however.
17:10Mark, where are your brothers?
17:11I don't know, Dad.
17:13In the bushes.
17:16Here.
17:17Brad, Randy, come on out.
17:19Come on.
17:20Come on right now.
17:21I don't know what gets
17:22into you guys sometimes.
17:23What did you stuff that old man
17:24in that trunk for?
17:25He told us to.
17:26Now, why would he want
17:27to be put in the trunk?
17:27But he did tell us to.
17:29Yeah, he did.
17:29It's the truth.
17:30He's not.
17:31The boys are speaking the truth.
17:33They are completely innocent.
17:34Well, we'll talk about this
17:35in the morning.
17:36It's bedtime now.
17:37Come on.
17:37I want to see if he gets out.
17:38No, no, no.
17:39I'll be out there later.
17:40Go on.
17:41Honey, we're in some kind of trouble.
17:44These are reinforced
17:45polycarbonate American butt hinges.
17:51Sir Larry, is there anything
17:52that we can do?
17:53Someone we can call?
17:54Yes, you can call my son,
17:56Cyril the Magnificent.
17:58He has an extra set of keys
17:59and he's at 555-7653.
18:03All right, I'll call right away.
18:05Hang in there, Sir Larry,
18:06and just take real short
18:07little breaths.
18:09Hey, Wilson?
18:13Howdy, neighbor.
18:14What are you doing over there?
18:15Oh, just mending the bellows
18:16in my accordion.
18:17Cool.
18:18What's in the trunk?
18:20Famous magician.
18:21Oh, is he coming out of the box?
18:22As soon as his son comes over
18:24and unlocks it.
18:25Not much of a trick, Tim.
18:28You got a minute?
18:29Sure, good buddy.
18:30You got a problem?
18:31Well, it's Jill.
18:33I love her.
18:34She's the most important thing
18:36in my life.
18:36Why did you do this time, Tim?
18:38Mm-hmm.
18:40We went out tonight
18:41to have a night
18:42just by ourselves,
18:43real romantic,
18:43that kind of stuff,
18:44and I spoiled it
18:45because of a football game.
18:46We won?
18:48Mm-hmm.
18:49Mm-hmm.
18:50Mm-hmm.
18:50I don't know what it is
18:51about football and me.
18:53I'm obsessed, I think.
18:54Well, why do you think
18:55that is, Tim?
18:57I think it's because
18:57I love it, Wilson.
18:59I love the surprise
19:00and the strategy
19:01and the strength
19:02and the big guys
19:04and the logos
19:04and the colorful helmets
19:06and the shine
19:06and the pads
19:07and the mouth guards
19:08and the cleats
19:08and the hit and the impact
19:09of swearing the sweat
19:10and the...
19:11Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:16Sets me free, Wilson.
19:18Well, what you're describing, Tim,
19:20is what Aristotle
19:21would call a catharsis.
19:23Catharsis?
19:24Hmm.
19:25You spelled it.
19:26Yeah, let's just say
19:28an emotional release, Tim.
19:30Bingo.
19:30Bingo.
19:31That's...
19:31That's what I feel
19:33and I don't think
19:33she understands that.
19:34Well, she doesn't have to, Tim.
19:36I'm sure there are things
19:37about her
19:37that you don't understand.
19:38Well, you got that right.
19:40You know, that woman
19:41has never had a haircut
19:42she liked.
19:43Well, there you go.
19:44And I go into her closet.
19:46I see 19 pairs
19:48of black shoes.
19:49What's that all about?
19:50Well, Tim,
19:52different outfits
19:52require different shoes.
19:54You've got your pumps,
19:55your flats,
19:56your espadrilles,
19:57your open toes,
19:58your T-straps,
19:59your patent leather.
20:00I could go on and on.
20:01Get the feeling you could.
20:02The point is,
20:03you and Jill
20:04don't have to understand
20:05each other completely.
20:06What is important
20:07is to share
20:08and enjoy the things
20:10you both do understand.
20:12That's exactly
20:13what she was talking about, too.
20:15Sharing.
20:16She wanted to share
20:18ballroom dancing.
20:19Well, why don't you
20:19give it a try, Tim?
20:20All right.
20:21As the ancient Celtic
20:22saying goes,
20:23never give a sword
20:24to a man
20:25who can't dance.
20:27Huh?
20:29Sir Larry?
20:30Still in here?
20:32Yes, um,
20:33Cyril is on his way
20:34over with the keys.
20:35Oh, thank you,
20:36kind of madam.
20:44Hi.
20:45Hi.
20:47About tonight, Jill,
20:48I know I was stupid.
20:50I know I spoiled things.
20:52I want to apologize.
20:55And I won't watch
20:57all-day football anymore.
21:01What about Thanksgiving
21:02and New Year's?
21:03Uh,
21:05half day.
21:08All right,
21:09I'll cut out
21:09the pregame show
21:10or something.
21:11I'll
21:12just try not to be
21:13so stupid about it.
21:16You'd do that for me?
21:17In a second.
21:21Well,
21:23we can always try
21:24and do it again.
21:25Go out some evening,
21:26have some romance.
21:28Well,
21:29we're here.
21:31We're alone.
21:33Moon's full.
21:34It's pretty romantic.
21:35What more do you need?
21:49Hey!
21:50No!
21:50I'll be loving you
21:54always
21:57with the love that's true
22:01always
22:04When the things you planned
22:07need a helping hand
22:12I
22:12will
22:14understand
22:16Always
22:18always
22:20Hate
22:20me
22:21but
22:21I prefer
22:23Always
22:27What's your cut?
22:28The opening,
22:28you're ready to lay
22:29the sink in there,
22:30right?
22:30Al?
22:31That's right, Tim.
22:33You know,
22:33home improvement's
22:34not just about
22:35renovating the kitchen.
22:37There's a lot of other
22:37ways to improve your home.
22:40Always be aware
22:41of your partner's needs.
22:43Take time out
22:44to share some special time
22:46with your spouse.
22:48Right, Al?
22:49I'm not married, Tim.
22:51Well,
22:52if you change those shirts
22:53and get a haircut or something.
22:55I got a haircut.
22:56That's a better one, Al.
22:58Okay.
22:59All right.
23:00We drop it on three, eh?
23:01On three.
23:02One,
23:02two,
23:03Ah!
23:04Hey!
23:06Al!
23:07Woo!
23:07All right.
23:19See?
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