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مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 7
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00:00Oh
01:31Oh, honey, honey, you're going to have to move my car because I'm blocking you.
01:34Why don't you just park on your side of the driveway?
01:36Bikes.
01:38I'll leave these in your car.
01:39Okay, bye.
01:41Bye.
01:43Mom?
01:44Yeah?
01:45Can I ask you something?
01:47Sure.
01:48Do you think I have girls' hands?
01:51What?
01:53Jason will miss as I have hands like his sister, only smaller.
01:58That is ridiculous.
02:00Look at these hands.
02:01They're strong, well-defined.
02:04With these hands, you could be a painter, a surgeon, a concert pianist, a football player,
02:14karate champ, lumberjack, test pilot, construction worker.
02:20Brad, Mark, bus is here.
02:21Move it.
02:22Up.
02:23Up.
02:23Kiss.
02:24Bye, Mom.
02:25Bye.
02:25Kiss.
02:27Bye, Mom.
02:28Bye.
02:28Have a good day.
02:29Love you, too.
02:34Tim, you still here?
02:35Oh, yeah.
02:39How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
02:44Oil light.
02:45The oil light.
02:46Next to the speedometer, a little red light with an oil can on it?
02:49Oh, that thing.
02:50I don't know.
02:50Two or three days.
02:51Two or three days?
02:53It's a warning light.
02:54Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
02:56I thought if there was a problem with the car that the light would get brighter or there
03:01would be a buzzer.
03:06A buzzer?
03:08It's a car, not a game show.
03:12Tim, the car is running fine.
03:15It used to be running fine.
03:17Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine composed of many precision parts running
03:22at a high RPM.
03:23High RPM produces friction.
03:25Friction produces heat.
03:27Heat is dissipated by lubrication.
03:29Oil.
03:31When the car didn't get the oil that it needs,
03:34it tends to seize up into a rock.
03:37Are you saying the car's not running?
03:42We now own a 4,000-pound four-door boulder.
03:48You mean I can't drive it?
03:50Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
03:55Okay, Tim.
03:56I've cut the molding to the proper length,
03:58and by using our miter box here,
04:00it's no good.
04:01Well, it's a very good cut, Tim.
04:03I'm not talking about the cut or the miter.
04:06Something's bugging me, man.
04:07I gotta get it off my chest.
04:09We don't normally do this,
04:11but I want to talk to you all about respect.
04:15Respect for the machines that power our lives.
04:19I know this guy that found out his wife
04:21has been driving the car for three days
04:23with the oil light on.
04:24Wow, so typical.
04:26No respect.
04:28None.
04:29My wife, she...
04:30Not my wife.
04:31This guy's wife
04:36Didn't even think about that engine.
04:39I hear you, man.
04:41You know what I'm talking about?
04:43My wife's the same way.
04:47Really?
04:48Come on down here.
04:49Get this guy down here.
04:49Come on.
04:57Nice to meet you.
04:58Love your show.
04:59Thanks.
05:00What's your name?
05:01Jim.
05:01My friends call me Jimbo.
05:06I'm Tim.
05:06You can call me Timbo.
05:10So, what's on your mind, Jimbo?
05:11Well, Timbo...
05:13I work construction.
05:15Yeah.
05:17Oh, wait a minute.
05:18Hold on.
05:19Let me...
05:19Sit down here for a minute.
05:21Here, grab...
05:22Plant it and tell me
05:23what's on your mind here, buddy.
05:25But I'm really into woodworking.
05:27Great.
05:27I do a lot of carving.
05:29And I just bought myself
05:30a serious set of chisels.
05:31Probably like the Vinford 600 series.
05:33You used them last week, Al.
05:40Anyway, um...
05:42The other day,
05:44I come home
05:45and there's my wife
05:46out in the garage
05:47where she doesn't belong.
05:54And she's...
05:56She's prying the lid off
05:58a gallon can of paint
06:00with my 3-8-inch scutche of...
06:02Oh, jeez.
06:05And they wonder why we die first.
06:11Can I say something, Tim?
06:13Shop floor's open, buddy.
06:15Pardon me.
06:16Oh, heck, we...
06:17We hooked a big one.
06:19Excuse me.
06:25Hey.
06:26Name's Kyle.
06:27Hi, Kyle.
06:28Timbo.
06:28Jimbo.
06:29Jimbo.
06:29Hey, Kyle.
06:30Hey, sit down.
06:31What's on your mind?
06:32Well, Tim,
06:33I enjoy gardening.
06:35I like to grow
06:35my own vegetables.
06:44Can't be all vegetables, man.
06:50Looks like you socked
06:51a couple dozen donuts away or something.
06:55You know it, Tim.
06:56Love my donuts.
06:58Anyway,
06:59my wife uses my good gardening tools
07:01and she leaves them in the yard.
07:03Tim, every tool I own
07:05has suffered some degree
07:06of rust damage.
07:08If your wife was here right now,
07:10what would you say to her?
07:12I don't know.
07:14I'd probably say...
07:15Ginger.
07:17Ginger.
07:17Ginger.
07:19Ginger.
07:19Ginger.
07:20Ginger.
07:20Ginger.
07:20Ginger.
07:21Ginger.
07:22Ginger.
07:24Ginger.
07:24When you don't respect my twos,
07:26you don't respect me.
07:27So stop it.
07:35I wish I could say something
07:37like that to my wife.
07:38She, she's,
07:39she's got a hundred bottles
07:40in the shower.
07:41Yeah, you know,
07:42conditioners and shampoos
07:44and rinses.
07:44What does she need
07:45all that stuff for?
07:46Yeah, yeah.
07:47That's enough.
07:47Yeah.
07:49That's nothing.
07:50My wife?
07:51Ginger.
07:52My wife has
07:52these two and three-quarter
07:54inch press-on nails.
07:56Well, I'm at home
07:57watching Circus of the Stars
07:59and I hear this tapping.
08:00I look over at the wife.
08:02She's tapping
08:03with her fingernail
08:04on the front of her teeth.
08:05Drives me nuts.
08:07You think that's bad?
08:07My wife does a thing
08:08in the shower.
08:08Wait, I got,
08:09I taught you both.
08:10My wife drools
08:11in her sleep.
08:12Oh, that's disgusting.
08:15I'm not talking
08:15about a little puddle.
08:16I'm talking about
08:17hook up the hose,
08:18let's water the lawn.
08:20Oh, no, no.
08:21Man, the light boat,
08:23she's drooling.
08:25Where's she drooling?
08:26She's drooling.
08:27Drooling down the river.
08:29Drooling.
08:30Drooling.
08:31Drooling down the river.
08:32Tim.
08:32What is it, Al?
08:33Come on, join in.
08:34Drooling.
08:35We only have a few minutes
08:36left, Tim.
08:37Al, we're having
08:37an important discussion here.
08:40About drool, Tim?
08:44I wouldn't expect you
08:45to understand
08:45you're not married.
08:47Well, enough about
08:48your love life, Al.
08:50Let's get some work.
08:51You guys want to
08:51help me out?
08:51Great.
08:52All right.
08:54I'm going to watch
08:55Dan's show.
08:56Okay.
09:01And then,
09:01who's that guy?
09:02I don't know.
09:03Do you have the right channel?
09:04Here, give me the thing.
09:06Yeah, there's Dad.
09:08Oh.
09:09What is he up to now?
09:10Wait, wait, wait.
09:10I guess you're both beat.
09:11My wife drools in her sleep.
09:18Uh, boys,
09:19I think you should
09:19go upstairs and play.
09:21We want to watch
09:22Dan's show.
09:22I said, out.
09:30It's like...
09:31Tim?
09:32I know what you're
09:33going to say.
09:34I've already decided
09:35I'm not going to say
09:36another word
09:37about the oil life.
09:39You made a mistake.
09:41Anybody can make a mistake.
09:42And I forgive you.
09:44She's drooling.
09:45She's drooling.
09:45She's drooling down the river.
09:50You saw the show, huh?
09:54Tim, how could you do that?
09:56You and I joke about it
09:57all the time.
09:57We laugh about you.
09:58You and I joke about it
09:59all the time.
09:59In the privacy of our bedroom,
10:01not on television.
10:02We have rocks in your head,
10:03don't you think?
10:05Let's talk about
10:06who didn't think for a minute.
10:07Who drove around
10:08for two days
10:08with the oil light on.
10:09Wait.
10:10I thought you said
10:11you weren't going to
10:11bring up the oil light.
10:12With all those rocks in my head,
10:13sometimes I don't know
10:14what I'm saying.
10:16Look.
10:17My mistake
10:18involved a car.
10:19Your mistake
10:20involved a human being.
10:21Me.
10:22There's a big difference here.
10:23Of course,
10:23I don't expect you
10:24to understand that
10:25since you're
10:25completely insensitive.
10:27Insensitive.
10:27You didn't even think
10:28about how I would feel.
10:31I didn't tell him everything.
10:39Everything?
10:41You know,
10:42when you roll on your side,
10:43you gurgle.
10:46What, are you saving that
10:47for the Christmas special?
10:49No.
10:56Mommy, I'm worried.
10:58About what, honey?
10:59If you drool
11:00and sleep on your back,
11:02won't you drown?
11:16No, honey.
11:18Thank you for your concern.
11:19Eat a carrot.
11:22Andy!
11:24It's all over school
11:25about what Jason Loomis
11:26said about your girl hands.
11:28Oh, no.
11:29But I stood up for you.
11:31Good for you, Brad.
11:32And I got you a little
11:33something to make you
11:33feel better.
11:34What is it?
11:36Passion pink fingernail polish!
11:40You, baby!
11:41Brad Taylor!
11:42Hi.
11:45What are you doing?
11:48I was thinking about
11:49what you said in the garage
11:49about that drool thing,
11:50and you were right.
11:51I overstepped my bounds,
11:53and I was really insensitive.
11:56You notice I paused there
11:58in case you wanted to say
12:00I forgive you, Tim.
12:03It would fit right here.
12:07Or not.
12:09Come on, Jill.
12:10Are you ever going to
12:10talk to me again?
12:11I just want to know
12:12one thing.
12:14What does my drooling
12:15have to do with
12:16home improvement?
12:18Well, no one likes
12:19to live in a damp house.
12:27Wrong answer.
12:29What does my drooling
12:30have to do
12:31with home improvement?
12:34Nothing.
12:37So, you just got up
12:38and said,
12:40oh, what a beautiful morning.
12:41I think I'll humiliate
12:42my wife today.
12:42I was just telling stories
12:44on the show
12:45with these guys.
12:45I brought up
12:46the oil light,
12:47and we seized the motor.
12:48Wait a minute, wait a minute.
12:49You told them
12:50about the oil light?
12:52Uh-oh.
12:55Why did you do that?
12:56I don't know.
12:58Why did you go on TV
13:00and humiliate me?
13:01I don't know.
13:04I got a good idea.
13:06Why don't you just
13:07change the name
13:07of your show
13:08from Tool Time
13:09to my stupid wife?
13:19Hi, Wilson.
13:21Hi, Ho-Tens.
13:24Another glorious
13:25autumn afternoon.
13:26Boy, it sure is.
13:28And you're burning leaves.
13:29Occasionally,
13:30I like to throw a handful
13:31on the old barbecue
13:32and just sniff.
13:34Try to remember
13:35the old days.
13:36I got a little problem.
13:37Can I ask a question, Wilson?
13:39Ball is in your court, Tim.
13:40Way to wait.
13:42I said something
13:43real stupid
13:45and embarrassed Jill
13:46on my TV show.
13:47Why did you do that, Tim?
13:49I don't know.
13:50I was talking
13:51to the other guys,
13:52and we were sharing
13:52silly stories
13:53about our wives,
13:54and I had a great one
13:55about Jill,
13:56and it just came out.
13:58Well, Tim,
13:58it sounds to me
13:59like you're a victim
14:00of the hierarchical structure
14:01of male conversation.
14:08How do you spell that?
14:13Let's just say
14:14one-upmanship.
14:19See, Tim,
14:20men's relationships
14:21are based on
14:22status and power.
14:27men feel compelled
14:28to outdo each other.
14:29If one man tells
14:30a story about his wife,
14:31the next man feels
14:32he's got to tell
14:33an even better story.
14:34That was exactly
14:35what happened.
14:36I got caught up
14:37in that hierarchical thing.
14:41Happens all the time, Tim.
14:43Well, I don't want it
14:44to happen.
14:44How do you make it stop?
14:46Well, Tim,
14:46men have to learn
14:48to compete less
14:49and listen more.
14:50We have to learn
14:51to start sharing
14:52our feelings.
14:55Yes!
14:57Thank you, all.
15:00A lot of people
15:01have said to me,
15:01I saw the show
15:02the other day
15:02with all the guy talk.
15:04What was that all about?
15:05Well, mostly,
15:06it was about getting
15:07in trouble with our wives.
15:08No kidding.
15:09Ginger's living
15:10with her mother.
15:12Well, on today's show,
15:13we're going to see
15:14if we can straighten
15:14things out.
15:15Al, I got a seat for you.
15:17No, thank you, Tim.
15:22Well, tool time
15:23is more than just
15:24home improvement.
15:25It's male improvement.
15:26And an improved male
15:28is more sensitive
15:29to his wife.
15:29How do we get sensitive?
15:31By digging deep
15:32down our emotions
15:32and sharing our feelings
15:33with others.
15:34You guys up to it?
15:39I thought we were
15:40going to get to
15:40use the tools.
15:43Not today, Jimbo.
15:46What are you feeling?
15:47Well, I guess I'm
15:49feeling confused.
15:49I was looking forward
15:50to using the tools.
15:53Any other feelings?
15:55I'm feeling hungry.
15:58Hey, good.
15:59That's just a good
16:00feeling there, Kyle.
16:01How about you?
16:01What are you feeling?
16:04I was feeling fine
16:05until Jimbo here
16:06said he was feeling
16:07hungry.
16:10Now I'm feeling hungry.
16:13And that makes me mad.
16:17Why is that?
16:20Because I want
16:21a big old piece
16:22of pork.
16:24And my doctor said
16:25it's too fatty.
16:26What the hell
16:27did I have that
16:28bypass for anyway?
16:29Hey, settle down, man.
16:30I want some pork damage.
16:31All right, all right,
16:32all right.
16:36Let's steer clear
16:37of the meat products
16:38for a minute.
16:41Let's talk about
16:42real emotion.
16:44Crying.
16:46When was the last
16:47time you cried?
16:48Jim?
16:51You mean cried, cried
16:53or cried because
16:54something heavy fell on you?
16:55Once I dropped
16:55a spin of piano
16:56on my foot.
16:57No, no, no, no, no.
16:57I need an emotional
16:58experience, a deep one
16:59that we can share
17:01with all of us.
17:04Well, now that I think
17:05of it, there was one
17:06time when I almost cried.
17:08Let it go, man.
17:13It was 1968.
17:15The Tigers won the
17:16World Series.
17:17Oh, man!
17:20Six home runs.
17:21Yeah, I was going to
17:21make it, man.
17:22We're talking about
17:23emotions.
17:24We're talking about
17:24emotions.
17:2484, they took the
17:25Padres.
17:26Remember that?
17:26No, no, no comparison.
17:27I'm talking 68, when
17:28baseball was baseball.
17:29You got that right, man.
17:30Tiger Stadium used to
17:31serve up a great pork
17:33sauce.
17:33Yes, sir.
17:35I tell you, now you
17:37go out there for a
17:38buck 85.
17:38What do you get?
17:39You don't know what
17:40you're talking.
17:40Ah, hot dog.
17:42Two bites and it's
17:43gone, huh?
17:45I mean, you got a
17:46burp to find out
17:46what it tastes like.
17:47Yes!
17:47What do you say?
17:49Oh, oh, good night,
17:53nurse.
17:54I'm spent.
17:56Oh.
17:57All right, Tim.
17:58You want to get back
17:59to her?
18:00No, Tim.
18:01I was thinking about
18:02what you said the
18:03other day about how
18:04I wouldn't understand
18:06what you were talking
18:07about until I was
18:08married.
18:09So, it made me feel
18:10like I was desperate,
18:11like I would never be
18:12able to find someone
18:13who'd marry me.
18:15That's not what I
18:16meant.
18:17Well, I just wanted
18:17you to know that it
18:18really hurt me.
18:25Hey, hey, hey.
18:26Al just shared a
18:27feeling.
18:29That's that.
18:29Yeah, that's all.
18:31Why don't we get to
18:32that circular saw now?
18:33That's what we ought to
18:34do.
18:34I mean, well, you have
18:35a wife and a family.
18:36You have no idea what
18:38it's like coming home to
18:39an empty one-bedroom
18:40apartment every night.
18:42You've got a great-looking
18:43apartment.
18:43I've been there.
18:44It's nice.
18:44Well, I just think you
18:46wouldn't kid me so much
18:47if you knew, well, just
18:49how very, very lonely I
18:51have it.
19:00I'm going back to my seat.
19:02You're not getting it.
19:06Now, hey, buddy.
19:12It's male improvement, and
19:14the improved male is
19:15sensitive to his wife's
19:16needs.
19:17And how do we get
19:18sensitive?
19:19By reaching down deep,
19:20getting in touch with our
19:21emotions, and sharing our
19:22feelings with others.
19:30Yeah!
19:31All right, Dad!
19:33Yeah, you did it, Dad!
19:34You got the car running.
19:36Excellent!
19:37Yeah!
19:38Woo!
19:39Yeah!
19:40Yeah!
19:43Master mechanic, triumphs!
19:45Ah, ah, ah!
19:46Dad, you did an awesome
19:47job, didn't he, Mom?
19:49Yeah, yeah, he really did.
19:51Boys, why don't you go
19:52wash up before dinner?
19:53Okay.
19:54Okay.
20:04So you, uh, put a lot of
20:07work into that car.
20:09Not really.
20:10Just had to remove the
20:12damaged short block, get
20:13all the damaged parts out.
20:14Got a new short block, had
20:15it milled and bored for me.
20:17New piston rings, connecting
20:18rods, main bearings, oil pump,
20:21fuel pump, water pump, upper
20:22motor, polish report the
20:24heads.
20:25Uh, new canooder valve,
20:26rewired it, add more.
20:30Add a little more power, but
20:31that's about it, hon.
20:34I didn't realize that, that
20:36little oil light could be such
20:38a big problem.
20:39It's just a car, honey.
20:42It's not a human being.
20:45It's not like the human being I
20:46love more than anything else in
20:48the world.
20:53You know why I like tools?
20:55Because they fix things.
20:57You tear down a motor, see the
20:59problem, it's right there, boom,
21:01it's fixed.
21:02I wish I could fix things
21:03between us that easily.
21:06Is that an apology?
21:09I don't think I can apologize
21:11enough for the things I do.
21:15All I can offer is a lifetime
21:17groveling at your feet.
21:21That'd be a start.
21:24I promise in the future I will
21:26always put oil in the car.
21:28And I'll say nice things about
21:29your hair.
21:31While groveling?
21:32You bet.
21:40I'm, uh, I'm prepared to offer
21:42cash gifts.
21:42I'm, uh, I'm prepared to offer
22:00more jobs.
22:00Well, Jim?
22:06So?
22:08So?
22:12Well, it's a nice-looking shirt. Is it brand new?
22:19No, it's an old one.
22:25Well, it looks really good on you.
22:32Thanks.
22:37Thanks.
22:39Hey, maybe some girl see you in that shirt and want to marry you.
22:48Thanks, Tim. I appreciate that.
23:03Bye-bye.
23:04Bye-bye.
23:07Bye-bye.
23:17Bye-bye.
23:20Bye-bye.
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