- 10 hours ago
مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 8
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00:01I don't know.
00:33I don't know.
01:00You have this old bobby pin to hold the nail.
01:01You secure it, no problem.
01:03Al, you want to hold that for me?
01:08Well, Tim, the point of the bobby pin is that you can do it yourself.
01:11But, Al, you're such an important part of the show.
01:13Oh, I want your help.
01:35You play lacrosse or something?
01:40There you go.
01:40We've set the nail, and no one's injured any appendages.
01:44Well, before we say goodbye, we get tons of cards and letters, and I'd like to share a real special
01:49one with you.
01:52Thank you, Al.
01:56Lisa?
01:58Here you go, Tim.
01:59Special delivery.
02:01This one's from Rock Lanigan of Bay City.
02:04Okay, thank you, Lisa.
02:05Rock writes,
02:06Dear Tim,
02:07I'm the foreman for K&B Construction Company up here in Bay City.
02:11My crew and I watch you all the time.
02:13We love your clothes, especially the eclectic Italian look with the triple pleated slacks.
02:18Thanks, fellas.
02:20He goes on to say,
02:22Anyway, my crew and I put in a damn hard American day's work,
02:26and we get tired of eating a cold lunch out of a metal pail, and who wouldn't?
02:31So we did something about it.
02:34We started cooking hot, gourmet meals right on the job site,
02:38using the tools of the trade.
02:40Me and the boys call this
02:42cooking a meal with power and steel.
02:45Ha, ha, ha.
02:48This was an inspiring letter.
02:50A very inspiring letter.
02:51So inspiring, I invited these guys from K&B Construction down here at tool time
02:56to demonstrate cooking a gourmet meal on the job site.
03:00So don't miss us next time, when we will do cooking with what?
03:04More power!
03:06You're right.
03:07See you next time.
03:08Ha, ha.
03:13Hey, Dad, they just vaporized the whole building.
03:16Did they get the general yet?
03:18Yeah, just now.
03:19I missed my favorite part.
03:21That's where they sucked the blood out of his head.
03:22Oh.
03:25You're not watching Red Planet Death again.
03:30No, honey, no.
03:31This is Madam Butterfly, the backstage look.
03:37What are you looking for?
03:39Jalapeno peppers.
03:46I'm going to make up some of that four-star happy trails rootin' tootin' chili of mine.
03:53I don't know about the rootin', but there'll be plenty of tootin'.
03:57Just consider yourself lucky I'm not making my rip-roarin' chili.
04:03Mom, look what I told him for you.
04:04Oh, honey, that's beautiful.
04:09Oh, that's some good-looking airplane.
04:12It's not an airplane, it's Mom.
04:17I thought those were propellers.
04:21They are.
04:25We're going to the park.
04:26Can I come with you?
04:27No, you're not coming with us.
04:29Hey, hey, hold it there.
04:31There is no reason that you can't take him with you.
04:33Mom, we don't want people to know we have a gate for a brother.
04:36Brad, take your brother to the park with you.
04:40All right.
04:41Get your coat, doofus.
04:43We'll meet you out here.
04:46Jill, where is that happy trails chili cookbook of mine?
04:49Why do you need a cookbook?
04:51You're just going to dump in whatever you want anyway.
04:53I want to throw the book in there.
04:54Maybe those pages will soak up the extra oil.
04:59Mom, Brad and Randy left without me.
05:02Well, those little snakes.
05:04Here, I'll take you to the park myself, honey.
05:06Oh, that's okay.
05:07I'll just go upstairs and play with my trucks.
05:15What are we going to do about Brad and Randy?
05:17They keep tormenting Mark.
05:19That's why we had Mark, so they'd leave us alone.
05:28I just don't know the kind of things that they do to him.
05:32Like, a couple of days ago, I made him a chunky peanut butter sandwich,
05:35and they told him that the chunks were ground-up rat bones.
05:40So?
05:41Older brothers torment younger brothers.
05:43It's the way of the world.
05:44I did to my younger brothers.
05:46This kid's got to learn how to deal with this by himself.
05:48I don't believe that older brothers have a special privilege to be obnoxious little pigs.
05:53Huh?
05:57No, I think that you and I should get together as a parental unit
05:59and have a nice long talk with Brad and Randy about their behavior.
06:03These are kids without central nervous systems, all right?
06:07We have to learn how to out-torment them.
06:10Oh, I see.
06:10Stoop to their level.
06:11Exactly!
06:13You want to teach Brad and Randy a lesson?
06:19Tonight, when I'm cooking that chili, I'll cut up this cauliflower,
06:22and we'll tell them we've got rabbit brains in there.
06:26Well, we're going to talk to them.
06:28We'll just tell them how much they're hurting Mark's feelings
06:31and how much that behavior disappoints us.
06:34And if that fails, yeah,
06:38old Peter Cottontail hops right into that chili.
06:42Come on, Mom.
06:43We want to go back to the park.
06:45Boys, sit down there.
06:46Your mom has something she wants to say to you.
06:48I believe that we have something that we both want to say to them.
06:51Yeah, right.
06:52Okay.
06:53Whatever your mom is saying, I'm saying it.
06:56It's just that she's the one saying it.
06:58Which doesn't mean that I'm not saying what she's saying.
07:01Say what I'm saying.
07:06You guys promised Mark that you would take him with you to the park,
07:09and then you ran off and left him here.
07:12We were waiting in the backyard, and he never came.
07:14You waited five seconds.
07:16You didn't say how long we had to wait.
07:18Don't get smart.
07:19Hey, hey, I think you're missing the point here.
07:21We are a family.
07:23If one of us is hurting, we're all hurting.
07:25If you hurt Mark's feelings, you also hurt my feelings and your father's feelings.
07:30Right, Tim?
07:31Right.
07:33And, Tim, I think you have something that you want to say here.
07:40You guys like cauliflower?
07:42Yeah.
07:44All right, all right, all right.
07:46However much fun you think it is to torment your younger brother, it's wrong.
07:50But, Dad, what about all those terrible things you did to Uncle Steve?
07:57He's your younger brother.
07:59Uncle Steve is a major pain in the...
08:01This is different.
08:03Why?
08:04Because Steve knew I was kidding, that's why.
08:07Well, then why doesn't he come to any family reunions?
08:12Because he lives so far away.
08:14No, he doesn't.
08:15He just lives right away.
08:15Hey, hey, you know...
08:18We're not talking about your Uncle Steve.
08:20We're talking about you two.
08:21That's right.
08:23And we want you to start treating Mark the way that you would like to be treated.
08:27You know, that old golden rule thing?
08:32Okay, we're sorry.
08:34Honey?
08:35Yeah?
08:36What are you doing?
08:37I'm looking for something to put that chili in.
08:40How about a trash bag?
08:43I'm looking for that big pot we take on cookouts with us.
08:46Oh, okay.
08:47You know, I think that our talk with Brad and Randy really helped.
08:51Because they've been really nice to Mark for almost an hour.
08:55Whoa!
08:57Look at this thing.
08:58And that old strobe I had in my dormitory room.
09:06Very groovy and far out, man.
09:08And it wasn't even on half the time.
09:14Whoa!
09:15All these old eight-track tapes.
09:18In a Gata De Vida.
09:20In a Gata De Vida, baby.
09:23Okay, smart guy.
09:24Who sang In a Gata De Vida?
09:26I just was.
09:27In a Gata De Vida.
09:29Who sang In a Gata De Vida so people wanted to hear it?
09:33You are an evil woman.
09:35Evil woman sung by Electric Light Orchestra, 1976.
09:40Lucky guess.
09:41Luck.
09:41Luck skill.
09:43All right, brainiac.
09:44All right.
09:45Who sang Play That Funky Music?
09:48Wild Cherry, also 1976, released on the Epic label.
09:53Come on.
09:55Come on.
09:55Tommy Rowe, 1964.
09:57Stop.
09:58In the name of the Supremes.
10:021965.
10:04Let's face it.
10:04When it comes to this song title stuff, I am the high priestess of pop.
10:10Well, I'm pretty good myself.
10:12Oh, yeah?
10:13Name the first song that we ever slow danced to.
10:16What?
10:18Name the first song that we ever slow danced to.
10:22I'm waiting.
10:23Give me a minute.
10:24Give me a minute.
10:25We were at the Glitter Ballroom.
10:28Mm-hmm.
10:28We were dancing close.
10:29You got an Angora sweater on.
10:31Mm-hmm.
10:32Doused in Chalamar.
10:33Yeah.
10:33Mm-hmm.
10:35I had just the right amount of jade east on.
10:38Our bodies were pressed close.
10:40Sam, what was the name of the song?
10:42Did it have the words cold shower in it?
10:45No.
10:46But if you think of the song, I'll be upstairs.
10:50Touch me in the morning, Diana Ross.
10:53I'll touch you in the afternoon if you think of the name of the song.
10:59I remember the song that we heard when we were in the back of my Corvair and steaming the windows.
11:07So do I.
11:08The minute walls.
11:12No, it's me.
11:14Forget it.
11:15You got us in trouble.
11:18Mom say you're supposed to be nice.
11:21You see Mom anywhere in this backyard?
11:24No, get lost.
11:27You've got to play with me.
11:28We're brothers.
11:30We're not your brothers.
11:34Yes, you are.
11:36I'm going to let you in on a secret.
11:41We're aliens from outer space.
11:44You're a big fat liar, Randy.
11:46My name isn't Randy.
11:49It's Zelnut.
11:53I'm Zortan.
11:56No, you're not.
11:57You're Brad and Randy.
11:59No.
12:03Brad and Randy are gone.
12:06We sucked the blood out of their brains and took over their bodies.
12:12We have many powers.
12:14We can read minds.
12:17No, you can.
12:19I'll prove it.
12:22Zortan?
12:23Talk to me, Zelnut.
12:29I'm thinking of a number between one and ten.
12:32What is it?
12:33Four.
12:34That's right.
12:37Why don't you do that?
12:40Grapegy.
12:41Greenew.
12:42Nanny.
12:42No longer.
12:42I'm telling Mom and Dad you're in big trouble.
12:45Hey.
12:47They're not your Mom and Dad.
12:53They're aliens, too.
12:56Are not.
12:58Are, too.
12:59Our spaceship's coming to pick us up tonight.
13:02Yeah.
13:02And we're going to leave you here all alone for the rest of your life.
13:06You don't scare me.
13:08Hold it!
13:10Better walk backwards until after we leave tonight.
13:14Why?
13:16Because aliens can't suck your blood if you're walking backwards.
13:20Yeah.
13:21Our real lips are in the back of our heads.
13:50Mark, what are you doing?
13:52Nothing.
13:55Why are you walking backwards?
13:57You can hurt yourself doing that.
13:58Better than getting my blood sucked out.
14:02He's got a good point there.
14:05Have you been talking to your brothers?
14:07What have they been telling you now?
14:08They think you're all from outer space.
14:11Honey, you know that's not true.
14:14Well, Jill, sometimes you wake up early in the morning.
14:22They say you have lips in the back of your head.
14:25Jill, sometimes you wake up early in the morning.
14:30Mark, come here.
14:32Come here.
14:33Now, look here.
14:34Do you see any lips there?
14:36Not really.
14:37There, see?
14:39You have got to stop listening to those two.
14:43Come here, give me a hug.
14:48You want to go and get yourself some earth juice?
14:51Yeah.
14:53Aliens.
14:54Those guys never stop.
14:55I give up.
14:56It's time for the master tormentor to take over.
15:00If you want to torment them, you should just ground them with no TV.
15:06Ha!
15:08That would be a penalty for earthlings.
15:11We need a penalty suitable for aliens.
15:14Okay, I am behind you, I think.
15:17Have you got my brother Randy say they're sorry?
15:19Well, you have two choices.
15:21We can either make them apologize, or we can get even.
15:27Get even.
15:28That's my boy.
15:33Last time I promised construction site cooking, that's why I invited the guys at K&B Construction
15:38down here in the set.
15:39Rock Lanigan, Dwayne Hoover, and Pete Bilker.
15:44How you doing, Pete?
15:45Hi, Tim.
15:46Nice beard.
15:47Well, thank you, Tim.
15:48I grew it because of Al.
15:50He's my hero.
15:56Well, mine too.
15:59Rock, what do you got for us today?
16:01Well, Tim, I'm a riveter.
16:03I work way up on the high steel, and I'll tell you, it makes it darn hard to get a
16:07hot
16:07lunch up there.
16:08But I've come up with a quick and easy way of making a delicious grilled cheese sandwich.
16:12You hear my stomach growling?
16:14You're going to love this one, Tim.
16:16The fellas call it cheddar a la rock.
16:18All right.
16:19I use only sharp Wisconsin cheese, because after all, in Wisconsin, cheese is cheese.
16:27American cheese from American Cobb.
16:31Look out!
16:33I spread on a generous dollop of oleo with my trowel.
16:39Then I take the cheese and I stick it between the bread.
16:43Good place for it.
16:45And then I...
16:49Tim, I kind of hate to give this little secret away.
16:52Oh, come on, Rock, let it go.
16:54It's a tool time crowd.
16:55Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:58All right, all right.
16:59Pete, I sprinkle on a little oregano for flavoring.
17:05And then I fire it up.
17:06What do you use to heat that with?
17:08Well, that's one of the secrets of cooking on the job site, Tim.
17:10I go straight for my blowtorch.
17:12And that's no ordinary blowtorch.
17:16That's the Benford 3000 Turbo Ignition Switch Torch.
17:20Yeah, you betcha, Tim.
17:24See the trick?
17:26You gotta toast it nice and evenly on both sides so that you seal in that delishin' Wisconsin flavor.
17:35Try it out, Timmy!
17:45You might want to let that cheese cool down a little bit in there.
17:50Oh, ha, ha.
17:52Good job.
17:53Dwayne, what do you have for it?
17:54You know, I'm out on the job site way out, nowhere close to your ordinary kitchen utensils, so I got
18:01to improvise.
18:02Now, this here is the dipstick off my 87 two-ton pickup.
18:09With this, I make my southern specialty, shishkabili-bob.
18:16Now, the important thing to remember, Tim, before you start cooking, get all that oil off your dipstick.
18:29Now, I like to alternate my meat and my vegetables.
18:34How do you feel about that, Al?
18:36Well, I'm still thinking about that dipstick, Tim.
18:41I prefer to use USDA-choice cube steak, pearl onions, green peppers, and just a touch of summer squash for
18:51color.
18:52No need to make mealtime a drab affair, huh, Tim?
18:57Perish that thought, Dwayne.
18:59Al, for the seasoning, I turn to my assistant, Pete.
19:04That would be me.
19:07I like to lightly dust the kebab with just a hint of sage and some tarragon.
19:19Well, I prefer rosemary, but...
19:21Dwayne, rosemary's much too harsh, Pete.
19:23Pete, this is neither the time nor the place.
19:32Now, ordinarily, Tim, I would wrap this in tinfoil and put it on a hot engine.
19:38But we don't have time for all that.
19:40Here, hold that, Al, will you?
19:42Now, Pete's got one.
19:43Pete's got one all cooked up and ready for us to taste it.
19:47There you go, Tim.
19:49Give that a whirl.
19:54There, how do you like that?
19:56It's delicious.
19:58Well, I detect a hint of 10W-30 on that thing.
20:13Dad, Dad, right and ready are coming.
20:15All right, son, all right.
20:16The master tormentor's ready to teach them a lesson they'll never forget.
20:20Now, the spaceship will be here any minute.
20:21You know the plan.
20:22Now, get out of here.
20:22Go, go, go.
20:24Okay, this is going to be great.
20:26First, we'll get him down on his knees.
20:29Then, we'll get him to close his eyes.
20:31Then, we'll sneak back in the house and lock him out.
20:35Look, he's out there waiting for us.
20:38What a geek.
20:43Mr. Zelnut, where's the spaceship?
20:48It'll be here in two minutes.
20:50You have to wait over here.
20:51Yeah, and remember.
20:53When your mom and dad come out, say goodbye real fast.
20:56But don't hug them or your arms will melt.
20:59Yeah.
21:00Now, get down on your knees and close your eyes.
21:02And whatever you do, don't move or your skull will cave in.
21:18What is it?
21:19I don't know.
21:23I don't know.
21:24I don't know.
21:28I don't know.
21:52Well, I think the master tormentor has done his job.
21:55And now I have a little surprise for you.
21:56Oh, yeah?
22:02Let's see.
22:08You remember.
22:11Harry Nielsen, without you.
22:13That's right.
22:14I'd be a whole lot happier.
22:18Just kidding.
22:20The master tormentor is now the master rememberer.
22:25Tell me something.
22:25Did you do all of this to teach them a lesson or just because it was really fun?
22:29What do you think?
22:30I think it was really fun, but I don't think they learned a thing.
22:32I think you're wrong.
22:34I think those boys learned a valuable lesson.
22:37They won't be messing with anybody for a long time.
22:44Back to bed, boys.
22:50Those kids look a lot like your side of the family.
23:11Don't you know that I'm loving you?
23:19Don't you know that I'll always be true?
23:27Oh, won't you come with me?
23:32And I'll kick my heart
23:34And I'll kick my heart
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