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مسلسل Brooklyn Nine-Nine مترجم - Episode 7
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00:02Hey, Cap'n. Got a second?
00:04It's Captain.
00:05What did I say?
00:06Cap'n. Like, Cap'n Crunch.
00:09Alright, but to be fair, Cap'n Crunch was the war hero
00:12and the primary male role model in my house growing up, so...
00:16Anyways, Cap'n. You know that jewelry store robbery down by Grand Army Plaza?
00:21I know who did it. Dustin Whitman.
00:23I put him in Rikers two years ago.
00:25He just got out and the crime scene matches his M.O. perfectly.
00:29Okay, what do we got?
00:30Security cam shows male suspect five foot nine.
00:33Wearing a black ski mask.
00:35He bypassed the McConnell alarm by using the magnetic kill switch.
00:38And he only stole diamonds. Nothing over two carats.
00:40Yeah, exactly. How'd you know?
00:42I'm a detective. It's what I do.
00:46I'm just kidding. I need a lot more information.
00:48But that would have been a great exit line, right?
00:50Crime techs aren't done yet, but I'm 100% sure it's Whitman.
00:52Well, let's see what kind of physical evidence they turn up,
00:54and then we can talk arrest.
00:56Actually, hilarious story.
00:59So that is Dustin Whitman.
01:02You already arrested him with insufficient evidence.
01:06By law, we have 48 hours to find that evidence,
01:09so we have to let him go.
01:10You just start the clock.
01:16What's up with this emergency meeting?
01:18Whoa, Detective Santiago.
01:21Big date tonight. How do I look?
01:23Well, I think you look.
01:27Sorry, that was supposed to be a cat call.
01:29I don't know how this works.
01:30Hey, is this why you were getting makeup tips
01:32from the prostitute in the holding cell?
01:34I just wanted to know how she got such smoky eyes.
01:36Turns out it was an STD rash.
01:38Detective Peralta's made a collar in the jewelry store heist.
01:41Way to go, Jakey.
01:42That's okay.
01:43No! He didn't get sufficient evidence to make it stick,
01:45so we have the next 48 hours to fix his mistake.
01:50What evidence did you have when you arrested this guy?
01:52Some pretty ironclad stuff.
01:55Destin, it's been a while.
01:57Mind if I ask you a few questions?
01:58Well, well, well.
02:00If it isn't joke, Peralta.
02:02That's it, you're under arrest!
02:04Case closed?
02:06If we don't find something conclusive,
02:07it jeopardizes the case and opens the department up to a lawsuit.
02:10So cancel your plans.
02:12We're here until this is over.
02:13Damn it, Peralta.
02:14I know everyone's mad at Peralta for ruining their weekend.
02:20But?
02:21That was it.
02:22I was just demonstrating for Detective Peralta what a fact is.
02:47Terry, you just pulled two doubles.
02:49You must be tired.
02:50Now stay for this Whitman debacle.
02:52You go home.
02:52I'm not tired.
02:53Why would you think I was tired?
03:06I ended up doing 25 minutes of sleep chin-ups on muscle memory alone.
03:11Tired Terry still gets after it.
03:12That's all I'm saying.
03:14Hey, Gina, can you order food for us at the Flatbush Diner?
03:17They make the best pies in New York City.
03:18Oopsie, you said something super dumb.
03:21The best pie in the city is at Crest.
03:22Wrong.
03:23Ignorant and wrong.
03:24Uh, you think you can just bully people?
03:27But you can't.
03:28It's not okay.
03:29I'm the bully around here.
03:31Ask anyone.
03:33Boyle, you're always blogging on that foodie website.
03:35Which pie is better?
03:36Yeah, who's you like better?
03:37Mine or Rosas?
03:38Oh, you know, I haven't been to either place yet.
03:43Why is your eye twitching?
03:46Wouldn't you like to know?
03:47Can I see you for a second in the evidence lockup?
03:50Charles, I know what's going on.
03:52You've tried both pies.
03:53You know mine is better.
03:55But you're scared to tell Rosa because you're into her.
03:59What?
03:59That is not true, okay?
04:03I don't even like food.
04:06What?
04:06Who's Rosa?
04:08You're the scared one!
04:12Planning your strategy?
04:14No, I'm just making funny faces at him.
04:18This mirrored glass is awesome.
04:20It straight up works.
04:21An effective use of your limited time.
04:23It is actually.
04:24That's how we got him last time.
04:25Let him stew for a little bit, got in his head, and he confessed.
04:29You better be right.
04:31I am.
04:32Hey, make some funny faces while I'm in there.
04:34I want to see if I can tell.
04:39I didn't do anything, joke.
04:45That's funny.
04:46You said the exact same thing last time.
04:48And how'd that work out for you?
04:50Let's take a look.
04:52Okay, here's you at your trial.
04:55You in prison.
04:56Me meeting Regis Philbin.
04:58That was fun.
05:00You still in prison.
05:02Me at Splash Mountain.
05:03Just pepper these in here.
05:05You in prison.
05:06You in prison.
05:07You in prison.
05:07You get it.
05:08You got the wrong guy.
05:09All right.
05:10Not ready to confess?
05:12Fine by me.
05:14I got all the time in the world.
05:17No, you actually have 48 hours.
05:19I know the law.
05:22Nah.
05:25So, looks like we're gonna be here for a while.
05:28Should someone do a coffee run?
05:31You know what?
05:32Coffee's on me.
05:33Oh, but no frufy frappuccinos or anything.
05:36I've only got like 10 bucks.
05:38Okay.
05:42Rise and shine, Detectives.
05:44Rise and shine.
05:45Peralta, I want you to bring everyone up to speed.
05:47You slept in your office and you look exactly the same.
05:50How?
05:51What are you talking about?
05:51My hair's a mess.
05:53Oh, yeah.
05:53Briefing room, five minutes.
05:55How long were you asleep?
05:57Just long enough for me to squeeze in a quick workout.
06:00So, like, three hours.
06:03Morning.
06:03Ugh.
06:04I can't believe you live nearby and you won't let anyone crash at your place.
06:07You people already know too much about me.
06:09I know exactly three facts about you,
06:11and one of them is that you won't let any of us crash at your place.
06:14Is that a nightgown?
06:16That's mine.
06:17It's a t-shirt from my fat phase.
06:19If at first you don't secede, try, try again.
06:23When you're that big, you buy anything that fits.
06:25A lot of fat guy clothes have racist overtones.
06:28Okay.
06:29A couple of quick announcements.
06:30First, I met our night janitor, Ronald.
06:33If any of you are missing hand sanitizer, he drank it.
06:36Second, our warrants finally went through.
06:39We gotta place Whitman at the scene and prove that he either possessed or sold those diamonds.
06:43I know you're all tired, but don't forget why we're here.
06:45Because we're dedicated detectives.
06:47Because Peralta jumped the gun.
06:48Yep.
06:49Get to work.
06:51So, we both had good answers.
06:53This isn't a joke.
06:54You're ruining our weekend.
06:55Okay, I'm sorry you had to cancel dinner with your dad.
06:58Date.
06:58I had a date.
06:59Hey, if Jake says the guy did it, that usually means the guy did it.
07:03Everyone listen to Rosa.
07:05Nope.
07:05I'm still furious at you.
07:06Okay, no one listen to Rosa.
07:07She's clearly an accomplice to this crime.
07:09I'm gonna go take another crack at Whitman.
07:11You've been in there like five times.
07:12What are you gonna do?
07:13Annoy him into talking?
07:15Ha ha.
07:16Two, three, four.
07:28Didn't work.
07:30Did not work.
07:34Hey, Captain.
07:36Will you please let everyone else go?
07:37I feel bad that I ruined their weekend and I can tell they're pissed at me.
07:41Charles hasn't tried to high five me all morning.
07:43Yes, I've taken the brunt of that.
07:45Kitchen buds.
07:47Are you sure Whitman did it?
07:49Yes, I'm positive.
07:50Then the whole team stays.
07:51We have a better shot with everyone on it.
07:54Fine, will you at least tell Hitchcock to go home?
07:56His mouth smells like rotten trout milk.
07:58Is there such a thing?
07:59I'm just telling you what it smells like.
08:00Get out.
08:02You have the bank records?
08:04Mm-hmm.
08:04Good thing I didn't reschedule my date for tonight.
08:07We're never leaving here.
08:08Well, maybe that's a good thing, you know?
08:10Saved you from another lame internet date with some lame guy named Dirk or Mar, Duran.
08:17He's not lame, okay?
08:19He works with a friend of mine.
08:20He has a human name.
08:21And I'm not telling you what it is because you'll look him up and make fun of him.
08:25I can't believe you think so little of me that you would just automatically assume.
08:29Is it Luke Mueller?
08:31How did you do that?
08:32Well, you only have one friend, Kylie, and she has seven male co-workers.
08:36Goatee, goatee, jaunty fedora, profile pic as a sunset, Tasmanian devil tattoo, goatee.
08:42Leaving Luke as the only viable option.
08:44Well, he's nice.
08:46And he uses proper punctuation and texts.
08:48Dreamboat.
08:49And I wanted to go out with him.
08:50Alright, you know what? Reschedule for tonight.
08:52I promise I will get us out of here in time.
08:54Fine. I'm holding you to that.
08:55Where's he taking you?
08:56Terrific. Let's get everyone involved.
08:58Dinner and a movie.
09:02Dinner and a movie is the perfect first date.
09:04I think the perfect first date doesn't feel like a first date at all because you've known each other for
09:09a few years.
09:09Maybe even work together and in one night you're laughing and then all of a sudden it's like blammo!
09:15Kissing.
09:15For me, cheap dinner, watch basketball, bone down.
09:20So pretty much the same as what I said.
09:25None of the partials match Whitman. If he did it, he didn't leave any prints.
09:29Maybe he doesn't have any. Interesting fact about me, I once burnt my fingerprints off on a walk.
09:34Hi. Hello.
09:36What are you doing?
09:37Walt said he didn't have to come in here.
09:39You don't come in on days you're supposed to work.
09:40Because I'm so nice, I brought two pies.
09:43One is from Crest and one's also from Flatbush Diner.
09:49Hey, you know what might be fun?
09:51Charles could try them and tell us which one is better.
09:54How fun is that?
09:55So fun.
09:55Yay. Yum, yum, yum. Yummy.
10:00You got a second, Captain? I've got these overtime forms for you to see.
10:06Are you stifling a yawn?
10:09No, sir.
10:10Go home, Sergeant.
10:11I'm fine. I filled this out. I just need you to...
10:22Permission to yawn, sir?
10:23Go home.
10:30Please, I'm begging you.
10:33Oh, fair enough.
10:35Yeah.
10:36That's for women.
10:39These are your glasses?
10:41Mm-hmm.
10:42They're gigantic.
10:43My contacts dried out, thanks to you, and they're cool.
10:47No, they're not. Wow, you are blind blind.
10:50Yeah.
10:50You're a blind cop.
10:52How's there not been a made-for-TV movie about your struggles?
10:55Give this back.
10:55Okay.
10:58Wait a minute.
11:00I did it.
11:01I got women.
11:02Dead to rights.
11:03I can still make my date?
11:04As I promised.
11:05Go get changed.
11:07And by that, of course, I mean throw your glasses in the garbage, then get laser surgery, then recuperate, and
11:12she left the room.
11:15It's all right.
11:17It's all right.
11:17Six out of 12.
11:17Out of 12?
11:18Why?
11:19For the 12 components of food satisfaction.
11:21Salty, sweet, sour, bitter, umami, odor, sound.
11:24Sound?
11:25Come on, Charles.
11:26Try her nasty pie.
11:33Oh, wow.
11:34That's the best pie I ever had.
11:37No, no, no, no, no.
11:39What's this?
11:40We were running calls to pawn shops and then waiting for them to call back.
11:43I didn't ask what you were doing.
11:46I asked what you are doing.
11:47Pie taste test.
11:48It's over.
11:49I won.
11:49It's unacceptable.
11:51If you want to know which restaurant has better pies, you can't just have one guy try one pie from
11:56each place.
11:58Everybody needs to try all the pies from both places.
12:03We gonna be here a while.
12:07Debit card statement.
12:08You were at a parking meter two blocks from the jewelry store an hour before the robbery.
12:13Oh, no.
12:14You found out about my wife.
12:16We both have cards because we share a joint account because we love each other.
12:20You're incapable of loving.
12:21I'll prove it.
12:23I'm very tired.
12:24I want my lawyer now.
12:28You have changed.
12:29You used to go straight to prison.
12:32Did Whitman talk?
12:33Oh, he talked all right.
12:35He asked for his lawyer.
12:36By using words, which is technically talking.
12:40We can't ask him any more questions until we find his lawyer and we can't find his lawyer anywhere.
12:44I'm sorry.
12:46Oh, come on.
12:47Why is there pie here?
12:49That's not good.
12:51I think the world of you has a colleague and friend.
12:54Shut up, Peralta.
12:55Yep.
12:58Yes!
12:59Another one for crust.
13:00It's not looking good for Flatbush Diner.
13:03Oh, come on.
13:04You went home and showered?
13:05That's so unfair.
13:07I'm just glad I keep a toothbrush here.
13:08Oh, cool.
13:09Hey, can I borrow it?
13:10Uh, why do I borrow the toothbrush?
13:12What possible answer could he give that would make you say yes?
13:14I want to brush my teeth.
13:15Jake, it's been in my mouth.
13:16That's the grossest thing I've ever heard.
13:18That's the grossest thing you've ever heard?
13:20You've caught a guy on the subway with a bag of human ears.
13:22Your thing's grosser.
13:23Bring out the meringue!
13:25I brought a few more.
13:26That's so many.
13:29You wanted something, sir.
13:31Look, it's impossible to make you leave.
13:33But you do have to sleep.
13:34And that's an order.
13:36Sir, this is not necessary.
13:38Also, can't sleep without my whale songs.
13:41Terry, I've seen this before.
13:43Problems at home, so you stay late at the job.
13:46But that only makes it worse.
13:47Everything's great with my wife.
13:49It's just, my brother-in-law's in town, and we do not get along.
13:54He thinks I'm a weakling.
13:56You?
13:58Let me get that for you.
14:00I can do it.
14:02Tiny Terry loves his pickles.
14:06He makes me feel so small.
14:08Who cares what he thinks?
14:10You're a police sergeant.
14:11You're a grown man.
14:13Now, take your nap.
14:14And if I see the lights on in here, I'm going to be very disappointed in you.
14:21Are you the idiot that made a Friday night arrest?
14:23I was in the Poconos with my wife.
14:25You ruined my entire weekend.
14:26Get in line.
14:27Because that's their attitude.
14:29Get your own attitude.
14:31He has an alibi, geniuses.
14:33He was at Twerk.
14:34It's a nightclub in Cape May, New Jersey.
14:35All night.
14:36Nice try.
14:37Think I'm going to waste six hours driving to the Jersey Shore and back on some fake alibi?
14:41It's up to you.
14:42But in ten hours, he walks.
14:47More like in ten hours he walks into prison when we bust him.
14:52Let's follow up on his alibi.
14:53Yeah.
14:54You heard him, Scully.
14:54Hit the road.
14:55No.
14:56You should have looked into this before you made the arrest.
14:58You go.
14:59Oh, Captain.
14:59I'm happy to go.
15:00I love the salt water taffy down there.
15:01Scully loves the salt water taffy down there.
15:03Peralta's going.
15:04Go, Peralta.
15:05Look, I know I caused this problem, but I can fix it.
15:08We just got some new security footage in.
15:09Let me stay here and go through it.
15:11I'm going to prove that Whitman was at the scene of the crime, even if it kills me.
15:14This is killing me.
15:16Good.
15:17Die.
15:19You know, if it does come to that, I have but one wish before I go.
15:25Can I please put your glasses on my penis?
15:27I just think that would be really funny.
15:31Hey, can you make copies of these warrant requests for me?
15:34I'm not your secretary.
15:35You're everyone's secretary.
15:37That's literally your job.
15:39And your job is lying about your taste buds?
15:42I'm sorry about the whole pie blow-up thing.
15:44You're right.
15:45The Flatbush Diner pie is awful.
15:48It's just...
15:50I want Rosa to like me.
15:52Alright, do whatever you want, but most women don't really like it when dudes lie to them.
15:59Except for me, but I'm wired to thrive on dysfunction.
16:05Nothing.
16:07Wait, wait.
16:08This guy.
16:08Five-niner, five-ten, black-knit cap.
16:11Come on, come on, come on.
16:12Gotcha!
16:13Ugh, it's not him.
16:17Let's just arrest this guy.
16:18Who even cares anymore?
16:21So, I had my new best friend Luke take it when you canceled on him again.
16:25Don't know.
16:26He hasn't called me back.
16:27Which is what always happens because it's impossible to be a cop and date.
16:32Amy, look.
16:33There is a guy out there with incredibly low standards and a super weird soul patch.
16:39And he is waiting for you.
16:42Amy!
16:43My patch tingles for you.
16:45We will wed on the Isle of New Jersey.
16:49Our first dance will be to Jessie's girl because my name is definitely Jessie.
16:53So romantic.
16:54Hey guys.
16:55Hey!
16:55Yeah, there's good news and there's bad news.
16:58The bad news is my saltwater taffy place was closed.
17:02And the good news?
17:03Whitman's alibi checked out.
17:05Security footage from Torx shows he was there.
17:08That's not good news.
17:09That's bad news.
17:11Right.
17:11That is bad news.
17:13Sorry, it's on me.
17:15No, Detective Scully, it's on Peralta.
17:17No, Captain.
17:18That's on Santiago.
17:20It's on me.
17:21It's still on me.
17:25This is such a disaster.
17:27It's not good.
17:28DA's furious.
17:30Whitman and his lawyer in my office right now gunning for a lawsuit.
17:32No, not that.
17:33My brother-in-law is coming to have dinner with me on his way to JFK.
17:40But also the botched investigation.
17:43That's bad too.
17:47Okay, what can I do?
17:49Oh, your services will not be necessary.
17:51Because you need to go home and change for your date.
17:54What?
17:55I called Handsome Luke.
17:56I explained the weekend was entirely my fault partially.
17:59And he wants to go out with you tonight.
18:01Thanks, Peralta.
18:02You're welcome.
18:03Just promise me you won't use the condoms in the secret pocket of your purse, okay?
18:05They're expired.
18:06How do you know it's in my purse?
18:07I need a concealer for a zit.
18:10Plus, you know, we spent so much time together here, I know everything about everyone.
18:15Hitchcock went bald at 15.
18:17Scully used to date Hitchcock's wife.
18:19Charles has a bike with a little basket on the front.
18:22How else would you carry baguettes?
18:23And Rosa has a shower in her apartment.
18:25I think.
18:26I got nothing on her.
18:27Good.
18:28Well, I guess we did just spend 48 hours locked in here together.
18:36Holy crap.
18:38What?
18:38Locked in here together.
18:39So we will be filing a wrongful rest suit against the NYPD.
18:44And when I win, I'm gonna buy Club Tork.
18:47Put a statue of Jake Peralta right in the middle of the dance floor.
18:49First off, that's a terrible threat.
18:51I would love to have a statue of myself in the middle of a dance club.
18:54Second, do me a favor, take a look at this picture and tell me what you see.
18:59You and Regis Philbin?
19:00Awesome, right?
19:01Surprisingly down-to-earth guy.
19:03And definitely not the picture I meant to show you.
19:04But, take a look at this.
19:06That's right.
19:07It's you and your old cellmate, Marcus Cole.
19:09And here he is again, outside the jewelry store.
19:12The two of you planned this together in prison.
19:14You taught him your M.O.
19:15He pulled off the robbery.
19:17You got yourself an alibi.
19:18And you split the loot.
19:20Oh, man, I can't believe he caught us!
19:22Of course he did!
19:23Peralta is the best!
19:25Aw, thanks, Reg.
19:26That's enough.
19:27Yeah, I gotta work on my Regis.
19:28Anyway, see you in jail, Whitman!
19:30You got anything else to say?
19:33Hey, Rosa?
19:34The Flatbush Diner's pie is terrible.
19:36It's inedible.
19:37Food is supposed to be edible.
19:39So you were lying?
19:40What the hell, Boyle?
19:42Put it in the suck-it bucket.
19:45Crust isn't any better.
19:47It's fancier, but it's all bells and whistles.
19:50Desserts don't need to be clever.
19:52They just need to be good.
19:54This is the best pie in New York City.
19:58Apple from Argos Bakery.
20:00Founded 1910.
20:04Unchanged.
20:04Taste it!
20:10Damn, this is amazing.
20:11This pie is so good, I hate it!
20:13You just graduated pie school, bitches!
20:15Sorry I said bitches, I'm just really worked up.
20:17Yo!
20:20Sorry for screwing up everyone's weekend.
20:23Hey, uh, drinks on me.
20:25Who's in?
20:26Oh, I got the date.
20:27I gotta change.
20:28Come on.
20:28Everyone's tired, Peralta.
20:30They just want to go home.
20:31Yeah, but I have to prove I'm not selfish, so I don't care what they want.
20:34That sounded bad.
20:38And to make up for what I did, I'll cover one shift each for all of you.
20:42Except Santiago.
20:43What?
20:44I got you your date back.
20:45One nice thing for me is all you get.
20:48So, this is my desk.
20:51Desk jockey, huh?
20:52You just sit here, eat your pickles, wait for the criminals to turn themselves in.
20:56Actually, I don't like pickles that much.
20:58Terry, I'm glad I found you.
20:59There's been a development in the Russian mob case.
21:01Oh?
21:02Yeah, a killer has been spotted in a warehouse down by the canal.
21:05Get your gear.
21:06So you want me first through the door, sir?
21:07Oh, it's just you.
21:08The SWAT team is on another call, so you'll have to do it alone.
21:13Hey, I'm not gonna be able to make dinner tonight.
21:15Hey, no, do your thing, do your thing.
21:17Go Terry.
21:19You can crash on my couch.
21:22I haven't downloaded you some whale souls.
21:24Thank you, sir.
21:26I'll never forget it.
21:31Good night, Terry.
21:34Not a doctor.
21:35Shh.
21:36From your lawn.
21:36Come home.
21:38Welcome.
21:39Come home.
21:39Come home.
21:42Come home.
21:42Okay.
21:45Come home.
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