00:04oh this is amazing I wish I had a playhouse like this when I was a kid
00:08really you never had a playhouse no I mean my dad did buy the house next door for us to
00:13play in
00:15I'm gonna hook up the garden hose so it has running water why does it need running water
00:20same reason it's got electricity Bernadette and I both work and we're overcompensating
00:27this reminds me of a traditional Amish barn raising with everyone pitching in
00:32how exactly are you pitching in I don't hear anyone else giving facts about traditional
00:37Amish barn raising the rest of us are pitching in with hammers and nails the facts are my nails
00:44and my voice is the hammer which pounds them through the wood of your skull
00:50well that is how it feels hey uh can you pass me that drill yeah fun fact about Amish barn
00:56raising they don't use any power tools Amy make him stop no if he tires himself out now he'll sleep
01:03better tonight hey Howie can you give me a hand I need to get some work done and the kids
01:08are
01:08climbing all over me you know what I'll watch them you sure but I was just about to tell everyone
01:13why they're called Pennsylvania Dutch when they really hail from Germany yep thanks so what do
01:22you think pretty cool huh and when our kids outgrow it we can Airbnb it to other people's babies
01:31honey you all right sorry I haven't had a second to myself so let me just go back inside finish
01:36my
01:36report brush my teeth change out of my pajamas make a sandwich and then I'll come out here and laugh
01:40at
01:41your joke as long as you're making sandwiches you can laugh at that one later too all right I've kept
01:52you in suspense long enough Dutch is a bastardization of the word Deutsch meaning German what's German for
01:59annoying Nervig why do you ask
02:04our whole universe was in a hot tent state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started
02:11wait the earth began to cool the autotropes began to drool me and recalls develop tools we built a wall
02:16we built a pyramid snap science history unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang
02:23hey
02:33president Siebert you want to see me hey there's my guy sound like my wife just before she asked me
02:40to
02:40go to Coachella no this is gonna be way more fun than Coachella more fun than heatstroke good luck
02:50so there are some funds left in the general administrative grant and I need somebody to decide how we should
02:55disperse them really wow what an honor thank you so how do I decide who gets the money how do
03:02you
03:02decide anything think about it with your brain and then say it with your mouth yeah right sure so after
03:11I
03:11decide do I then submit it to you for approval no you decide you approve and then you pride yourself
03:16on
03:16a job well done it's a lot of responsibility well if I didn't think you were up to the task
03:21you wouldn't
03:21have been fifth on my list thank you I'll get started right away and I look forward to hearing
03:29nothing about it I will keep you posted hey thank you guys again for helping out yesterday what
03:38problem that was really fun it was fun but I am sore you didn't lift a finger no but I
03:44narrated the
03:45entire event and I am paying for it today gentlemen well I Leonard do I detect a little swagger in
03:54your
03:54step possibly well stop it doesn't suit you what's going on CBR put me in charge of handing out the
04:02last bit of the administrative funds and I have sole discretion looks like Christmas came early first thing
04:09on my list is a golden umbrella because then it's gonna make it rain hold on I'm not just gonna
04:15hand
04:16out money there's a procedure you need to follow I believe he's referring to the traditional kissing
04:20of the buttocks should we form a line or just do it like we're bobbing for apples cute but President
04:28Siebert trusted me with this and I'm taking it seriously if you have a legitimate request you can
04:32submit it to me in writing and I'll evaluate it based on its merits sure sure is jet ski one
04:36word or two
04:41offstander heard Siebert put you in charge of the administrative fund can't think of a better
04:46guy for the job I think he's done this before when I know you and I have a troubled history
04:53but I hope
04:54that when I make my request you'll give me a fair shot of course see that's what I like about
04:59this guy
05:00integrity bring it in I just put something in your pocket it's good at all El Pollo Wocos
05:15Holly leave your brother's dirty diaper alone put that down that is not a hat that is not a hat
05:23no okay everybody in the sink bad news Howie I'm gonna be stuck at work for a while
05:38oh that's terrible hang in there I'll be home as soon as I can
05:48he deserves better
05:53no I'm not going to reconsider your request was denied I don't care if it helps you think you
05:59don't need a koi pond in your office well you should have thought about that before you bought
06:05the koi wow that's a little rough well I have to be everyone assumes I'm just gonna give them
06:12whatever they want hmm but you're not are you no I'm not look at this an espresso machine I don't
06:22think
06:22so denied I really like this side of you really yeah it's so decisive well check this out a standing
06:34desk denied if you want to stand do it on your own time because I'm the boss yeah you are
06:47hello hey Leonard I just wanted to congratulate you on how well you are managing this grant money
06:52what do you want nothing I just came by to pay you a compliment nice try the answer is no
06:57to what I'm not asking you for anything all I need for my job is right here this is my
07:03office
07:03which makes for a great commute home work home I'm still working I'm just working from home
07:10you know if it's that easy then why does Leonard have to drive you to work every day
07:13because I like the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria
07:17oh I suppose I could use a frozen yogurt machine
07:19deny
07:24well you should have seen him denying things left and right it was so sexy
07:30of course I made a request he did not deny
07:36are you listening to me yeah sure you slept with your husband
07:42what is going on with you it's not a big thing have you ever told Leonard a little white lie
07:50hmm well he thinks I've seen every one of the Star Wars movies but I've really only seen the one
07:54with
07:55the gold robot that could be any of them exactly I've been telling Howie that I've had to work late
08:07the past couple nights but really I've just been hiding out in Howie's playhouse does that make me
08:12awful awful awful no uh strange yes sad a little yes just that work's been crazy and the minute I
08:22get
08:22home I have two kids hanging on me and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair and pinching
08:26my belly fat that'd be a good slogan for a condom company I love my kids but that hour to
08:35myself just
08:35makes me feel human again so you go home and sit alone in a toy house in the backyard
08:48oh Dr. Hofstetter did you have a chance to look over my proposal I did and your research is
08:55fascinating I had no idea that crows were that smart do they really hold grudges they do one of
09:00them escape from my behavioral study a year ago I can't prove it's him but something cracks on my car
09:06every day well look I only have enough money to fund one request but your project is definitely in
09:13the running okay but how when do you think you might make a decision because I have to upgrade
09:18their cages before they learn how to open the locks when I came into my lab this morning they
09:24suddenly got silent I think they're planning something soon I've narrowed it down to three
09:33projects whoo is mine one of them actually yeah the software in the telescope room hasn't been
09:39upgraded in years seems like it might be time whoa whoa whoa so you're just gonna give the money to
09:45your
09:45friend yeah I smell a what I work with rats too that might be me I'm not just giving it
09:52to my friend
09:53Barry your proposal is also in the mix wait so those are the three you're not even considering mine
09:58why because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer no because they wrote detailed proposals and you
10:04sent a YouTube clip of the guy from Jerry Maguire saying show me the money all right Hofstetter
10:10what's it gonna be which project are you gonna pick yeah come on Leonard tell us now but remember
10:16crows aren't the only ones who can hold a grudge look all three of your proposals have a lot of
10:23merit I
10:24just want to make sure I'm making the right decision I can tell you're stressed if it helps
10:28I withdraw my proposal it doesn't help fine then I'm back in the mix show me the money
10:35okay I I just I need everyone to back off I'm in charge here and I'll decide when I'm ready
10:41to
10:42decide when will that be a day a week I don't know where are you going I don't know that
10:47either
10:59oh someone's making decisions
11:04reviewing these proposals yeah because you're the boss man telling people what's what I like it
11:11it's just so hard all three of these proposals have merit how do I choose well not with that voice
11:21there has got to be a right decision based on empirical evidence look I made pros and cons lists
11:26and then I came up with three different scoring systems to determine the best project I just don't
11:31know what scoring system to use so I'm working on a meta scoring system to score the scoring systems but
11:36the math is really complicated you want me to walk you through it so I've narrowed it down to three
11:56worthwhile projects but I only have the money to fund one of them lucky for you I have a solution
12:02I can't
12:03wait you free up more money and I fund all of them no or hear me out yes that way
12:17everybody's happy
12:18you can't make everybody happy I think I can you can't actually you're making me unhappy
12:25then what would you do I'd find some sap and put him in charge so I wouldn't have to be
12:29the bad guy
12:32that's a really good idea oh
12:43what you doing oh you scared me I'll ask again what you doing nothing really you and Bernadette
12:55aren't doing stuff without me but no why would you even say that you know how your talent is
13:02getting just drunk enough to have a good time without being hung over the next day thank you
13:10well mine is knowing when I'm being excluded so spill I'm I'm just running some errands yeah with a bag
13:19full
13:20of wine I just gotta stay hydrated try again okay look I'm sorry we did not mean to leave you
13:28out all
13:29right Bernadette has been feeling fried at home so we ended up hanging out in Hallie's playhouse like a
13:35secret club no what just like a place to spend time that we don't tell anyone else about and what
13:46would be a shorter way of saying that secret club well you really hurt my feelings oh what can I
13:55do to
13:55make it up to you I'm in a secret club is there some sort of humiliating initiation because I would
14:03literally do anything
14:13Leonard you've been losing to me in three-dimensional chess for many years
14:17you know what would be neat if this was some sort of long con and one day you say let's
14:22make this
14:23interesting put money on it and reveal that you actually know what you're doing
14:31a very long con indeed checkmate sorry I'm distracted oh aren't you the hustler no matter
14:41who I give the funds to someone is gonna be upset with me do you really care if people are
14:45angry at
14:46you of course interesting why don't you go to the store and get me some tapioca pudding or I'm gonna
14:52be
14:52angry at you no so it comes and goes how do you not care what people think of you it's
15:01easy I mean
15:02not beating you at chess easy but what is wait you can make this decision you don't care if you
15:11upset
15:11people you can pick for me I certainly could oh great but I won't I think this is a learning
15:17opportunity
15:17for you Sheldon come on well I'm sorry did I upset you yes ask me how I feel about that
15:27so where does Leonard think you are oh I told him I was at yoga well you are stretching the
15:32truth
15:33oh yeah where does Sheldon think you are oh Sheldon's kind of like a dog he doesn't really think about
15:39me
15:39when I'm gone but he's so happy when I show up oh thanks for letting me come over and hang
15:52so Leonard
15:52still hasn't made a decision yet no and I've really been laying on the guilt did you break out the
15:57sad
15:57eyes you mean these bad boys okay can we very quietly open that second bottle of what
16:13hey don't freak out but I think there's someone in your playhouse oh yeah that's just Bernadette
16:22she's been hiding out there all week really why oh I don't know she's been a little overwhelmed at
16:30work and frankly me and the kids are a lot she just needs some downtime and you just pretend like
16:37you
16:37don't know sure and that's how marriage works three years ago I told her I got life insurance and I
16:46totally didn't someday she's gonna find out I'm gonna say haha I know you've been hiding in the
16:52playhouse why don't you just get the life insurance whose side are you on can you hear what they're
17:03saying oh sounds like pennies in there too seriously Leonard you didn't pick my project I'm sorry Raj
17:15you go with crow lady no you gave the money to kripke I did not wait I'm confused I thought
17:22there were only three projects in contention there were but at the last minute someone submitted an
17:27application for a pretty cool europium dope laser and they made a very compelling case what was the
17:33case oh that it was me and I wanted it you can't do that you can't just fund your own
17:40project turns out
17:41what I can and I did interesting what about not wanting everybody to be mad at you well I realized
17:48that no matter what decision I made people are gonna be mad at me in this way I get a
17:52laser that
17:54is the most selfish thing you've ever done I'm proud of you I don't care yes you do yeah I
18:01do
18:09the europium laser is so cool it has a four-level ff transition which provides for high power output
18:15and its quantum efficiency is off the charts what are you going to use it for I have no idea
18:26Leonard there's a crow on your roof I see it is that one of Dr. Lee's crows it has a
18:34tag on its leg
18:40don't make any sudden moves smart let's stand perfectly still he's the one you want
18:50you
18:52you
18:53you
18:53you
18:53you
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