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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 11 Episode 11 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01Previously on the Big Bang Theory...
00:03Wanna grab some lunch?
00:05You know what? I don't think so.
00:07Well, let me guess. You're not eating because the mean girls circled your chubby bits and marker.
00:14No, that. That right there. That's the reason. You're always making fun of me.
00:18Those are just jokes. It's my way of saying that we're friends and it wouldn't hurt you to drink a
00:24few.
00:26Fifteen years of constant ridicule.
00:29I think our relationship has become toxic.
00:32What are you saying?
00:35I think you and I need to spend some time away from each other.
00:40Look, I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules.
00:47While we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
00:51Get out!
00:55Hi, Stuart. Two questions. Do you have the new Aquaman? And do you mind if I use your back room
01:02to smoke some meat?
01:06Well, since it's you asking, I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
01:11Why are you smoking meat?
01:13And why are you reading Aquaman?
01:16I am trying to make Amy a historically accurate little house on the prairie dinner for her birthday.
01:23And I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool.
01:27All right, well, that's actually really sweet.
01:29The dinner thing, the Aquaman thing's dumb.
01:33Isn't Hallie's birthday the same as Amy's?
01:36Yeah, but we're not doing anything big. She's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, and I'm lazy.
01:43Hey, guys. Hello.
01:47Howard.
01:48Raj.
01:50Excuse me.
01:52Really? Is this still happening?
01:54I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby.
01:57Oh, I do love a riddle. Let me see.
02:01See, my first guess would be Hallie, but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby, because she
02:05is a baby.
02:06I suppose it could be Stuart. His head does have a certain milky scent.
02:15Although...
02:16It's me, Sheldon. He's calling me a baby.
02:19I don't know. I saw Leonard put his keys in his mouth today.
02:23You're a grown man. Act like it.
02:26Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.
02:29Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.
02:33Come on. You guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.
02:36I have an extra ticket to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight.
02:39It was going to be Howard's, but you can have it.
02:41You two had a good run.
02:44Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
02:48and nearly 14 billion years ago. Expansions started.
02:52Wait.
02:52The Earth began to cool. The autotropes began to drool.
02:55Neanderthals developed tools. We built a wall.
02:57We built a pyramid.
02:58We built a pyramid.
02:59Science, history, unraveling the mystery.
03:01It all started with a big bang.
03:03Hey!
03:10Who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight?
03:13I'm in.
03:13Me too. It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking.
03:18Hey guys, there's a change of plans. We are having a party for Halle's birthday after all.
03:22Turns out, Bernadette and anyone who's not a heartless monster thinks that's the right thing to do.
03:29I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake.
03:32No, wait. Will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
03:35I don't know.
03:36I'll risk it.
03:38But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.
03:43Here you go. Here you go.
03:47See you two there.
03:49Are you kidding me? You're not inviting me to Halle's birthday? I'm her godfather. That means something.
03:54Or, hear me out on this, it doesn't.
03:59Okay, that's enough. This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining.
04:04Don't worry about it, because I'm done putting up with him.
04:13I know you have a lot on your mind, but when do you think we'll have an answer on those
04:17cake flowers?
04:21Hey.
04:22Hey. Whatcha reading?
04:24Yup. It's your brother's Christmas letter.
04:26Ugh. If there's a picture of his wife, and his kids, and his dogs, and his horses, all in matching
04:31pajamas, I beg you to burn it.
04:34Aw, the people's pajamas have little horses on them, and the horses have little people.
04:40It's just his chance to brag about how great his life is.
04:43Oh, come on. It's nice. You know that non-profit he works with? They built a hospital in Rwanda.
04:48Look at me. I built a hospital in Rwanda.
04:52That was a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way.
04:56Hello.
04:57Hey.
04:57So, this is for Amy's birthday. Can I leave it here?
05:01Sure. What is it?
05:02Butter churn.
05:03Aw, that's what I got her.
05:07It's for her surprise frontier birthday dinner.
05:10I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork, and because it's a special day, a chewable gob of tree sap.
05:20Is that good?
05:21Compared to other foods, no. Compared to other parts of a tree, eh.
05:28And then, after dinner, we will have birthday coitus.
05:32Do you think that will also be historically accurate?
05:35I assume, like, the rest of frontier life, it'll be exhausting and short.
05:41You're exhausting and short.
05:49Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Hallie's party, right?
05:53You bet. Plus, I live there and I was invited, so it's already broken.
05:57It'll be better than my 10th birthday party.
06:00Great. Can you bring a few things?
06:02Sure. What do you need?
06:03Balloons, streamers, ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter, and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and
06:08say they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.
06:11Where do you and Hallie go every week?
06:14The important thing is we're together, and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.
06:20Don't stress about this party. She's won. She's not gonna remember. The other day I showed her her toe and
06:26she was shocked.
06:28It's not for the baby, it's for Bernadette. She's feeling guilty about all the stuff she's missing with Hallie.
06:34All right. Uncle Stuart's got your back. Ain't no party like a Stuart party, because Stuart's never invited to parties.
06:49Did the electricity go out?
06:51I don't know what you mean by electricity, ma'am. I am just a farmer boy living in a little
06:56house on the prairie.
07:03I'm glad you're happy. I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
07:07Oh, you did. You did. It's perfect. You do know that my birthday's tomorrow, right?
07:13This is just step one of your birthday weekend. Now, would you care to join me for an authentic frontier
07:20dinner made entirely from scratch?
07:22I can't believe you did this. It's amazing. Oh, it's not a big deal. Just to be clear, it was
07:28a big deal.
07:31I was being modest. You got that right.
07:34Loud and clear. I hope you're hungry. Oh, I'm starving.
07:37Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period.
07:42If you also have malaria and a deep distrust of Native Americans, we're really cooking with a wood stove.
07:49Is that butter?
07:50Yes, but don't blow it all in one biscuit. Took me nine hours to make that.
07:55I think I got Churner's elbow.
07:58I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
08:04Well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
08:15Hey, what are you doing?
08:17I've decided to write my own Christmas letter, so I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we
08:21did this year.
08:22Oh, fun. Can I help?
08:24Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year?
08:28Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great.
08:32Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away, and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals.
08:39I'll just write down, still employed.
08:43Oh, we had our second anniversary.
08:46Yeah, but we did kind of forget about it, so maybe just write, still married.
08:54All right, okay. Okay, that's a start.
08:59What else?
09:03You know, maybe this is enough.
09:08Let's look at our pictures. That'll jog our memories.
09:13What is that a picture of?
09:14Oh, that's a mole on my back.
09:19Wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.
09:22How'd you get a picture of your own back?
09:24Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies.
09:29Hey, that's a cute picture.
09:30Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach?
09:32Memorial Day?
09:33No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains.
09:37That's the great thing about California.
09:39You can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach in the same day.
09:50Look, I'm sorry about not inviting you to Hallie's birthday.
09:52That wasn't cool and, of course, we would love to have you here.
09:58Thank you. I'd really like to be there.
10:00Great, because it's tomorrow and I need you to plan it.
10:06What?
10:07Well, Stuart was going to help, but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy and he jumped
10:12on it.
10:13Wait, so you're just apologizing because you need something?
10:18Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it.
10:21Well, that's very insulting.
10:23Right again. Are you going to help me or not?
10:27No, I will not help you.
10:31But I will help Hallie.
10:33She's my goddaughter and I love her.
10:36And I have a lot of party favors left over from Cinnamon's birthday, so...
10:41I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them.
10:45She's a human being, not an animal.
10:48But that actually would be a hit.
10:54Can I get you anything else?
10:56No, thanks. I think I'm good.
10:59You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat.
11:02Although, if we don't eat it, I suppose we could turn it into soap.
11:07That might taste better.
11:12I think I'm just going to go over here and sit on the couch.
11:15Then we will move on to stage two, the pitching of Woo.
11:21Ooh.
11:25Should I read you some bawdy 19th century limericks?
11:29Okay.
11:31Oh, here.
11:32There once was a priest from Terre Haute who purchased a sheep and a goat.
11:39Hold on a second.
11:40Is it getting hot in here?
11:42I didn't even get to the dirty part yet.
11:46I'm serious.
11:48Do you think there was something wrong with that food?
11:51Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.
11:55My stomach's feeling a little weird.
11:57Oh.
11:58Mine too.
11:59I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal.
12:10No.
12:11This doesn't feel right.
12:13No way.
12:13Save that sexy talk for the bedroom.
12:17You know, if you'll excuse me, I am just going to go freshen up.
12:28Sheldon?
12:29I'll be out in a minute.
12:31I don't have a minute.
12:39I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.
12:42If I had more time, I could have gotten the blue man group.
12:46One of them goes to my dry cleaner, who, by the way, hates him.
12:51You really saved the day.
12:53Well, it's not for you. It's for Hallie.
12:55And I'm sure she'd appreciate it if she knew what's going on or who you are.
13:08Morning.
13:09Happy birthday.
13:12Yeah, sure.
13:16Did you sleep at all?
13:18No.
13:19You?
13:20I passed out on the toilet once.
13:23I don't know if that counts.
13:27Feeling better?
13:28I feel terrible.
13:33Well...
13:35Should we make love now?
13:39How can you even think about sex?
13:41Hey, I'm a man. I have annual needs just like anyone.
13:46And besides, it's our birthday tradition.
13:51You think you can do it while I lie perfectly still and you don't touch me?
13:58I can try.
14:06Wanna do it again?
14:11Morning.
14:12Morning.
14:14Kept Fern alive? Who's Fern?
14:19No, the Fern. The one in the bathroom.
14:22We're really calling that brown thing alive? Okay.
14:27So, how long have you been working on this?
14:29A couple hours. I took a break to try to beat my high score on Mario Kart.
14:33Well, did you do it?
14:35Do you see it on the board?
14:38Hey, this is silly. Our lives are great.
14:41I think so too.
14:42So then why is this bugging you so much?
14:44I guess it feels like everyone's moving forward and we're stuck.
14:49What do you mean?
14:50We've been married two years. Should we think about what's next?
14:54Like buying a house or having a baby?
14:57Look, I want to do all those things someday, but there's a bunch of stuff I want to do first.
15:01Okay, like what?
15:02I don't know. Stay thin and have money.
15:07No, no, I'm serious. If there's things we want to do, let's start doing them.
15:10Okay, well, we've never been on a big trip together.
15:14I would love that.
15:15Okay, there's something for your letter. Considered going on a trip.
15:21It's just a day trip, but we could take the ferry out to Catalina.
15:25Great, let's do it.
15:27Amy's in the bathroom and I need to...
15:35It's like I can hear the ocean already.
15:41Okay, thanks for letting me know.
15:44Hey, what's going on?
15:45Bernadette's sister's kids are sick and they're not coming.
15:48But they're the whole reason the cupcakes are vegan.
15:53How's the party coming?
15:54Good, great. Our friends should be here any second.
15:59Those are the only other people you invited?
16:01What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class?
16:04I'll throw up.
16:09Uh-oh.
16:10What?
16:11I left the food out.
16:13You afraid it's gonna go good?
16:20How are you feeling?
16:22My stomach aches.
16:24I got the chills.
16:26My mouth tastes weird.
16:28It hurts to swallow and I've got a little double vision.
16:32Yeah.
16:33I'm feeling better too.
16:43Well, this party's a disaster.
16:45Don't blame the party!
16:47You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
16:52Is that Wonder Woman?
16:54Is that Wonder Woman?
16:56Technically it's a Chinese knock-off called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
17:01Then I take it back. It's a great party.
17:04You can sit here and sulk if you want.
17:06I'm gonna go celebrate Halle's first birthday.
17:08Which I planned with no help from you.
17:11What are you doing?
17:12It's a bounce house! I'm gonna go bounce in it!
17:17You're supposed to take your shoes off before you go in there.
17:22You know what?
17:24I'm stressed about my daughter's birthday party.
17:27I don't need your attitude.
17:29Well, I worked really hard on this and you haven't even said thank you.
17:32I'm sorry. Thank you.
17:34Thank you for blaming me for everything that's wrong in your life.
17:37Thank you for walking out on our friendship.
17:39You are welcome and thank you for mocking me for all of these years.
17:43Thank you for making it so easy!
17:47Why are you being such a jerk?
17:50Because you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings.
17:54Well, you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings!
17:58I can't believe you shoved me!
18:03I can't believe you shoved me!
18:05But it was kind of fun, wasn't it?
18:07It was! Do it again!
18:08Gladly!
18:11Okay, now at the same time!
18:16That was awesome!
18:17Okay, this time, knees, then feet.
18:19One, two, three!
18:23Again! Again!
18:29Hello.
18:30Hi.
18:31You made it.
18:31How are you two feeling?
18:32Oh, hello, better.
18:34Those books should have been called Little Outhouse on the Prairie.
18:38Allie's awake and ready for her party!
18:41Be right up!
18:42Oh, I want to see the birthday girl!
18:43Oh, I'd love to see her!
18:44Walk slow!
18:45It takes a while to get this bra back on!
18:50You know, it's still your birthday.
18:55It is.
18:57And we are both feeling better.
19:02We are.
19:04And there's no one in that bounce house.
19:06Oh.
19:08Great.
19:10Let's go jump for a bit and then find a bedroom to have coitus in.
19:15It is.
19:43If you don't know who to watch me...
19:43Inaudible
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